Chapter 1: The Quiet Decision to Pass Something On

There are moments when you are alone with your phone and nobody knows what you are thinking. Maybe the room is dark except for the screen. Maybe you are tired enough that you do not want advice, conversation, or another opinion. You just want something steady enough to quiet your mind for a few minutes. Then you come across this YouTube message about sharing Christian encouragement with someone who may need it, and something in it reminds you that whatever you are carrying does not have to separate you from God.

Sometimes encouragement does nothing more dramatic than give you enough room to breathe again. It reminds you that Jesus still meets people in ordinary moments, including the ones nobody else sees. That is why the quiet act of passing hope to another person can matter more than we realize. You do not have to understand everything someone is going through before offering them something that helped you find your footing again.

I think many of us hesitate before doing that. We wonder whether sharing something about faith will feel awkward. We worry that people will ignore it, misunderstand it, or assume we are trying to preach at them. Those concerns are reasonable because nobody wants to make someone feel pressured. But there is a meaningful difference between pushing religion on someone and gently offering something that encouraged you because you care about them.

Maybe you have a friend who has been quieter than usual. They still answer your messages, still go to work, and still say they are doing fine when you ask. Yet you can tell something is different. You may not know what happened, and they may not be ready to explain it. You could spend days searching for exactly the right words, or you could simply send a message that helped you and say that you thought of them when you heard it. There is no demand in that. There is only an open door.

That is the kind of support I am asking people to consider with this channel. We do not ask for donations, and we do not fundraise. I am not asking anyone to give money to prove that they believe in what we are doing. If these messages strengthen you, subscribe to the channel. When one speaks to something real in your life, share it with someone who may need it. If you know a person who would benefit from regular Christian encouragement, invite them to subscribe as well.

Those actions may seem too small to matter, especially when so much online attention is measured in enormous numbers. Jesus, however, had a remarkable way of noticing the individual inside the crowd. He stopped for people who would have been easy to overlook. He listened to people others dismissed. He gave His attention to people who had grown accustomed to being unseen. That changes the way I think about reaching more people. The purpose is not simply to make a number beneath a video larger. The purpose is to increase the chance that one real person, in one difficult moment, encounters hope.

Picture someone sitting alone in their car after work because they are not ready to walk into the house yet. They have spent the entire day being dependable for everyone else. Their body is tired, their thoughts are crowded, and they are carrying a problem they have not told anyone about. Their phone lights up with something a friend shared earlier. They nearly ignore it, but eventually they press play.

The message does not erase the bill sitting on the kitchen counter. It does not repair the strained relationship waiting inside the house. It does not immediately answer the prayer they have been repeating for weeks. What it can do is remind them that Jesus has not disappeared simply because life became difficult. It can give them enough hope to walk through the door, face the evening, and believe that tomorrow is still worth meeting.

The person who shared that message may never know any of this happened. They may have tapped a button during lunch and forgotten about it ten minutes later. There is something beautiful about that because it removes the need for recognition. You can help carry hope without needing to receive credit for where it eventually lands. You simply make something good available and trust God with the parts you cannot see.

That is the spirit I want behind the growth of this channel. I want us to build one of the strongest sources of Christian encouragement on YouTube. I have described that vision as building the biggest blowtorch for the message of Jesus Christ, but I do not mean anger, noise, confrontation, or trying to overpower anyone. I mean something bright enough, loving enough, and widespread enough that people who are struggling have a better chance of finding a message that points them toward Christ.

That kind of reach will never belong to one person alone. It grows when Christian brothers and sisters decide that good news is worth carrying beyond themselves. Your part may be subscribing today, sharing one message this week, or thinking of one person who could use some encouragement and sending it privately. None of that requires money. It only requires a willingness to help something hopeful travel a little farther.

You may never know where your share ends up or what happens afterward. That is all right. Faith has never required us to see every result before deciding to do something loving. Sometimes our responsibility is simply to recognize the light when we find it, refuse to hide it, and help another person see it too.

Chapter 2: Let the Good Thing Keep Moving

The next morning, you may be standing at the sink rinsing a coffee cup when someone comes to mind. Maybe it is your sister, a friend from work, or someone you have not spoken with in a while. You remember that they have been carrying something heavy, and for a moment you wonder whether reaching out would make any difference. That is often where love becomes practical. Not in a grand gesture, but in the decision to do the small good thing that is available to you.

Jesus showed us that people matter one at a time. He did not wait for perfect circumstances before offering compassion. He noticed the person in front of Him. That is a useful way to think about sharing Christian encouragement too. You do not have to blast a message everywhere. You can think of one person, one need, and one honest reason for passing something along.

Maybe someone you know is waiting for test results and trying not to show how afraid they are. Maybe a friend is dealing with a divorce and has gone quiet. Maybe a younger person in your family is trying to figure out whether faith has anything to say to the life they are actually living. You may not have the perfect answer. You can still offer something gentle and true.

That is the kind of community I want this channel to become. Not a crowd built around hype, but people who care enough to help good messages keep moving. If the channel strengthens you, subscribe. If a video speaks to something real, share it. If you know someone who could benefit from the encouragement, invite them to join us. There is no donation request attached to that. There is no fundraising campaign behind it. The support is simply participation.

I believe something powerful can happen when enough people make that choice with the right spirit. We can build a channel with enormous reach while keeping the purpose personal. We can help more people hear about Jesus without turning faith into pressure. We can become a network of ordinary people who keep carrying hope into places where somebody may be quietly running out of it.

You may never know who watches because of you. You may never hear the story that follows. That does not make your action smaller. Sometimes faithfulness looks like handing something good to the next person and trusting God with the distance it travels.

Your friend, Douglas Vandergraph

Explore the complete Douglas Vandergraph Master Index: https://douglasvandergraph.com/douglas-vandergraph-master-index/

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s faith-based videos on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@douglasvandergraph

Our Father Who art in Heaven Hallowed be Thy name Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven Give us this day our daily Bread And forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil

Amen

Jesus is Lord! Come Lord Jesus!

Come Lord Jesus! Christ is Lord!

At the forge And lonely to us now Pay for here And Scotland code This I am A lover unto you At distance might And in dispense of never The hearts of men Witnesses implore To help us her At better best deliver Knowing then To just escape The right and unrely When Heavens move We will know the West And win the work Ahead for all In Canada, we pray The Justice then Our here.

I've used AI to aid my writing process. I wrote my entire philosophical framework with AI as a thinking partner.

After probably 75 000 messages over two years or so, there are no more em dashes or phrases using the word “gently” in the output. ChatGPT now closely mimics my voice and how I talk. It turns out, you can make the em dashes go away without repeatedly prompting for it. Context and history play an important role in how AI responds to you.

Why did I use AI to write the framework? Because I wanted an a-moral, non-emotional, reasonably neutral framework that explained cause and effect independently of human story and perception. I used AI to help examine situations logically and question the assumptions behind them.

A simple example was a tree falling on my house. How does human perception work in that situation? What is actually true? What is potentially true? What is mostly human perception? What are the possible outcomes? What is the person reacting to? Perception or reality? I also used historical references. Given what we know about what happened, was the outcome logical within the context of the framework? Plug the World Wars into it. Does it make sense? I did this with ChatGPT and every other model I had access to. I'd feed their outputs back into ChatGPT, too. I wanted the AIs to break each other's logic. Agreement between models wasn’t enough. I wanted to understand whether the explanation held up and where it fell apart.

Across thousands and thousands of messages, with a lot of iteration, discussion, questioning and back and forth, I ended up with the framework I wanted.

Through that process, I learned a lot about prompting and getting AI to produce what I needed. I also began to understand the limitations of different models and which were more suited to working within a morally neutral framework. Some repeatedly brought moral framing back into hypothetical and historical discussions. Others produced output that was more machine readable than human readable, making them difficult to work with.

Now, ChatGPT is Grammarly with a personality. It's really good at cleaning up my writing after I write something. But I didn't get that from a good prompt. I got that from extensive history and context.

AI in writing is frustrating on a cold AI. You get the standard output format, complete with em dashes and “gentle” phrasing. That was true for me in the beginning, too. It took a long time to get ChatGPT out of therapy mode and get it to stop dragging morality back into things. But with enough effort, you can get customized output that closely reflects how you talk and follows how you think.

The average user isn't going to work that hard. I get that. I also believe that over time through training, the standard AI output will improve. For now though, persistence and time are the fixes that make AI output more helpful than not.

That’s not to say that AI is infallible. It does make mistakes. It is not perfect. You have to be willing to question its reasoning, point out the mistakes, and do the work.

From my perspective ChatGPT and any AI, can help to carry some of the mental load of organizing thoughts and generally structuring your writing. It can also help you find holes in your own thinking, show you where there might be a gap in your writing, or provide additional prompts that would add value to your work.

I understand that there are people out there that will simply prompt the AI, copy the output, and paste it as though they wrote it. When photocopiers were first available publicly, I’m sure somebody spent time photocopying entire books. Frankly, you can still check out a book from the public library or even buy it at the store, take it home and scan every page if you really want, and then bring it back. AI doesn’t change that, it just exposes that the possibility to make an electronic copy of something and repurpose, reorganize, or repackage it has been around for a long time.

Technology in general has changed how we function as a society. Music artists are having to figure out streaming. How do you make money in a world where everything is downloaded and records or CD’s are not the primary medium for sales? Artists were always at risk for theft. How many of us spent time listening to the radio with a blank cassette tape in the boom box ready to record a song when it came on?

Theft got easier, but we never actually resolved the reason for the underlying theft. Why did we record songs off the radio? Why do people try to find music for free? Why would somebody photocopy an entire book or take a book home, scan it, and return it? What is the underlying reason for that? Solve the original problem instead of just trying to put enough obstacles in the way to prevent it.

Why do people try to find things for free? What parts of society make that necessary and how do we resolve them? The flaw is in the function of society itself, not necessarily the individual people. Money or lack of it is what makes this necessary for some. How do we provide access to things for free as a means of limiting theft, while still making sure creators are paid for their content and the value of that content is respected? We can find ways to make sure creators get paid, it’s only a question of who is paying. Technology and AI expose this problem because they make putting obstacles in the way more challenging.

Why does somebody generate every single social media post using AI? When sheer numbers of posts become algorithmically more important than less frequent authentic posting, it means we’re serving the larger system of social media. Social media is “full” in some respects and that means that to be seen it requires an individual to become a content factory to hopefully float to the top.

Having a post go viral without needing to post 12 times a day 7 days a week, is like winning the social media lottery. It’s impossible to predict. Without a guarantee of that occurring, people naturally default to what they believe works, which is just sheer volume. Unless you can afford to pay somebody to follow you around with a camera all day and then post it for you, you’re probably not posting enough to float to the top on most platforms. Are there exceptions? Sure because different social media sites work differently. It can be slightly easier to be seen on a platform like LinkedIn if you have content that professionals want and it can also be highly challenging to be seen on Facebook where most pages simply fall out of sight immediately. By making AI produce content, you get the chance at visibility without taking on a second or third full time job. The system creates that through its own structure. The environment we have now is a direct result of the environment we came from.

We used to live in a pay to play world. Visibility was expensive and only a handful could be seen. You no longer have to pay to play. Technology levelled the playing field while also exposing the original exclusivity problem. Now if I’m a really good writer or musician that’s on par with or better than somebody who has a major contract, I can gain exposure through social media. I don’t have to pay thousands for vanity publishing, I can pay $20 for an AI subscription that can write social media content for me based on the content of the book or the lines of the song I give it. It doesn’t guarantee success but it lowers the cost of the ability to at least participate in the process in a meaningful way.

The original system was great for those who managed to find their way in, but it also left out a lot of people with dreams and good work of their own. Eventually technology brings the gates down and people bust their way onto the scene that would never have otherwise had the opportunity. But that’s not the fault of AI. Once again, that’s the old system creating a false barrier to success and visibility through money alone.

The amount of attention available is finite. There are still a limited number of people that want the work being produced. Lowered barriers to visibility don’t change the fact that visibility is still limited by the number of people available to see the content. That’s not system created, that’s just a function of life.

What we have gained though is choice. If I don’t want to buy from a big chain, I can find a locally owned shop. If I no longer want to support major record labels, I can support people that don’t have a record label. Choice allows the attention to move away from large corporations and back to the individual artist.

Visibility is what allows the attention to move and that’s where social media plays a distinct role. It makes clearer why AI created content has become a reality. People are vying for attention in a world of limited attention, most of them without multi-million dollar budgets. In my view, giving more attention to independent artists is a natural rebalancing of power that is long overdue. That’s the part that technology creates that the old system could never accomplish.

We put a lot of time into creating barriers to access and far less time exploring why we need those barriers in the first place. There are many discussions still to be had about the role of technology and AI in society. But one thing is clear: we need to move the conversation away from trying to prevent the technology from existing and towards changing the conditions that make people feel they need it to game the system.

I’m in a bad mood. but im not angry, unfortunately. im not angry, it wouldve been easier to just say that. to just blame someone for it or yell at something or break something expensive and go with whatever calms me down, but no. im sad and upset. i dont know why. i hate that sentence. im sick, but i dont think thats it. im tired but i dont think thats it either. theres just something wrong with me lately and i guess nobody bothered to leave a note explaining what it is so i can just go back to my daily habits. i feel, lonely. which is embarrassing to admit because im not exactly surrounded by people i desperately want to talk to. i could have someone sitting beside me right now and still feel alone. my head is exhausting. usually, i can argue with it. i can tell myself i mbeing dramatic, stupid, irrational, random, whatever ive had enough practice at this point. tonight. i dont even want to argue anymore. im too tired to fight my own thoughts. they can say whatever they want. im just sitting here listening to them like some idiot who forgot how to change the channel on the remote. i dont want to do anything. i dont want to explain anything. i dont want to fix anything. i dont even want to think about tomorrow. i just want everything in my head to shut up for a while.

thats all, im tired of being inside my own head, and unfortunately thats where i live. and i hate it.

Sincerely, someone who’s obviously tired

En deux minutes, mon IA t’a remplacé.

Elle a repris toutes tes sources. Elle a copié, réorganisé, fait mieux. Je lui ai demandé quelque chose qui fonctionnait, elle me l’a donné. Aucun drame technique. Aucune raison de ne pas être satisfait.

Et pourtant.

PhoenixJP, c’est 26 ans. Plus que la majorité de ma vie. Jamais lâché un seul jour. Tu fais partie de ces choses auxquelles on ne pense pas à dire merci, parce qu’elles sont là et qu’on finit par confondre leur présence avec une propriété du monde. On ne se demande pas chaque matin si le ciel sera encore au-dessus de nous.

Je savais bien que tu n’étais qu’un site. Mais « ce n’est qu’un site » ressemble beaucoup à « ce n’est qu’une maison ». Cela décrit correctement l’objet. Cela ne dit rien de ce qu’on a vécu à côté.

Je suis celui qui a demandé à l’IA de te remplacer. C’est peut-être le plus étrange. Personne ne m’a retiré cette habitude. J’ai construit moi-même la raison de ne plus en avoir besoin. Puis j’ai regardé le résultat, content de ce que j’avais obtenu, surpris par ce que je venais de perdre.

Deux minutes pour reproduire une fonction. Vingt-sept ans pour lui attacher une partie de ma vie.

Ces deux durées ne mesurent pas la même chose.

Dans le ciel, regarder loin, c’est regarder dans le passé. La lumière nous apporte des nouvelles qui ont parfois voyagé bien plus longtemps que nous ne vivrons. Nous levons les yeux et nous appelons « maintenant » ce qui nous arrive d’autrefois.

Je crois qu’il se passait un peu cela avec toi. J’ouvrais une page pour voir du nouveau. Et sans le savoir, je retrouvais aussi quelque chose de l’homme qui l’ouvrait il y a tout ce temps. Les années avaient passé, mais l’adresse était encore là.

Il n’y a qu’une personne au monde qui pourrait vraiment comprendre. À qui je pourrais dire « Phoenix, c’est fini », sans présenter le site, sans raconter son histoire, sans justifier cette peine un peu ridicule devant une réussite informatique. Nous avons besoin de si peu de mots avec ceux qui connaissent le commencement.

Je ne vais pas prétendre que l’ancien était meilleur. Mon IA a fait mieux. C’est justement cela qui rend cet adieu difficile : je n’ai rien à lui reprocher. Je ne peux même pas défendre mon attachement avec un argument raisonnable sur la qualité du résultat.

Mais une copie, même meilleure, ne peut pas avoir été là à ta place.

Elle peut reprendre tes sources. Pas devenir rétroactivement un souvenir.

Alors, bye bye, PhoenixJP.

Je ne te dois pas de rester indispensable. Tu ne me dois pas de durer éternellement. Ce que tu as été n’a pas besoin de gagner contre ce qui vient pour avoir compté.

Je vais utiliser ce nouvel outil. Probablement avec plaisir. Je vais continuer à créer, à avancer, à m’étonner de ce que ces machines rendent possible.

Mais avant de passer à la suite, je voulais te dire au revoir.

L’IA a mis deux minutes à te remplacer.

Moi, j’avais besoin d’un peu plus pour te quitter.

Publicat la 18 februarie 2017

Timișoara. Oraș studențesc. AD 199x. Eu. Student. Vârsta: 2x-1. Complexul studențesc. Holul unui cămin.

Împreună cu un prieten mă îndrept spre camera altor colegi și prieteni. Meci de baschet în NBA. Ora târzie, că, deh, meciul e în America… Cioc, cioc, deschidem ușa și intrăm. Singura lumină din camera mică, în care erau deja trei amatori de baschet, este cea a televizorului sport. Cei trei, înghesuiți în colțul patului opus colțului camerei în care era așezat, pe o măsuță, televizorul, își îndreaptă privirile către ușă.

Lumina de pe hol îi face să mijească ochii, iar când ne-au identificat, au făcut un gest automat, parcă de retragere cât mai departe de ușa pe care noi tocmai intraserăm. Ciao! Nimic. Noi repetăm: Ciao! Abia îngăimat vine și salutul lor. Se uită parcă cu prea mare atenție la mine, aproape înmărmuriți. Dau din mână și le zâmbesc, moment în care par să-și revină. Comentariul de la TV pare să ne amintească motivul pentru care eram cinci într-o cameră de doi. NBA. Discuțiile obișnuite. Final de meci. Analiză.

Oră târzie. Ciao!

Holul căminului.

– Ai văzut?

Eu: ce să văd?

– S-au speriat de tine!

– Cum așa?

– S-a spânzurat un student în podul căminului. Descrierea lui i-a făcut pe toți să creadă că tu erai acela. Zice-se că din dragoste.

– Păi și eu de ce aș fi făcut-o?

– Ei nu știau motivul, ci doar descrierea victimei…

– Deci de asta s-au înghesuit în colț… Și cine era nefericitul?

– Unu’ de la Universitate.

– Săracu’ de el… Azi ești, mâine nu mai ești… Mâine cum ai ore?

– De la zece la două și de la patru la șase. Tu?

– Tot până la șase. Noapte bună!

– Ciao! Noapte bună!

Love Hurts. Dragostea rănește. Dar iată că, de data asta, durerea a atins insuportabilul. Oare care este limita psihică ce trebuie atinsă astfel încât simpla inerție a mișcării spre această limită să ducă la încălcarea ei și recurgerea la gestul extrem? Cei care au depășit-o nu ne pot spune, iar preoții nu le-o iartă. Oare chiar nimic nu mai contează din ce a fost înainte? Se pare că nici pentru victimă și nici pentru preot.

Show Must Go On. Viața merge mai departe. Trebuie să meargă mai departe. Dar nu Queen pare să fie muzica potrivită, tot așa cum nici Nazareth nu e, dar care își lasă totuși, în această postare, titlul faimoasei sale piese.

Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence pare să fie albumul potrivit pentru acest episod de acum douăzeci (și ceva) de ani… Așadar, Dream Theater. Move On!

Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence este un album conceptual în care cele cinci piese ale primului disc explorează diverse teme ale zbaterilor vieții, precum alcoolismul, pierderea credinței, autoizolarea, sanctitatea vieții și a morții.

Versurile cântecului „Disappear”, scrise de James LaBrie, dezbat tema morții; piesa a fost inițial intitulată „Move On”.

Many months ago, every kind of dream was still possible.

But today, I have given away every one of them since I cannot compete with my own failure.

Who wants to take them? Right before I quit?

I am giving away everything for free now that I am not worth anything.

If only I could go back and use my stamina differently... if one thing had changed, I would have made it... one solid step closer to happiness, not a hundred staircases away... with each one being destroyed every day.

It's a countdown I didn't expect — I thought countdowns were biological, but I am running on the battery of wanting to live. And it runs out so critically fast.


Publicat la 17 februarie 2017

Se întâmplă rar să mă trezesc dis de dimineață atunci când nu sunt de serviciu. Rar e mult spus; mă trezesc extrem de rar atât de devreme. Astăzi e una din acele zile. M-am trezit și nu am mai putut adormi. Un gând interesant a încolțit în mintea abia deșteptată: să mă dau jos din pat și să văd cât de departe ajungi când te trezești atât de devreme! Toate bune și frumoase până am primit următoarea replică: „asta nu o poți vedea într-o singură zi!”…


Publicat la 10 februarie 2017

Perspectivele se schimbă când privești din aer.

Sau:

Perspectivele se schimbă când privești… de sus.

Cea de-a doua variantă este inspirată de prima, în combinație cu frumusețea limbii române, frumusețe care uneori joacă feste și ne trimite către niște interpretări cu sens contrar celui intenționat. Acum mi-am propus să vorbesc despre sensul propriu, cel dat de altitudine, cel din perspectiva pilotului. Acel sens de „din aer” sau, de ce nu, de sus, nu în sensul… arogant.


Stau la o cafea în capitală, privind către străduța pe care am căutat-o zilele trecute pe Google Maps. De aici, abia îmi pot da seama de existența scuarului verde dintre copacii din planul îndepărtat; de fapt, nici nu aș putea spune că ar fi un scuar acolo dacă nu aș fi trecut ieri pe lângă el.

Ha! Și nici măcar nu este verde! Cum așa?! Este iarnă și a nins, deci este alb!

În orice caz, perspectiva aeriană este una… aerată, una care dă o dimensiune longitudinală străduței. Citeam odată că un pilot este „pierdut” la sol. De când am început să călătoresc cu avionul și de când cu hărțile Google, rătăcirea pilotului la sol mi-a devenit mult mai clară; în adolescență o puteam doar intui.


Here Comes the Sun (cel din titlu) este piesa difuzată la radioficarea cafenelei.

Update: iată că a ieșit și soarele!


⚠️ SPOILER WARNING: FULL SPOILERS

The poster for Blitz features a woman and a boy surrounded by floating flowers, with a lone child standing below.

My Rating: ⭐⭐⭐½ (3.5/5 stars)

Final Verdict

Not bad, but a heavy watch. After seeing all the kid went through in this movie, you almost wanted to reach out to him through the TV and say, “Let’s get you home.”

If this is a true reflection, it does amaze me how much suffering and damage there is while people try to carry on like nothing is really happening. I am sure there was some truth in it. I would hope the darkest moments, like stealing jewelry off of dead people, didn’t happen. Unfortunately, I am sure that it did, though I haven’t researched it.

Overall, the story was good and compelling. It kept me interested, even if it was a heavy watch. Not a bad movie.

This product uses the TMDb API but is not endorsed or certified by TMDb.

#movies #review

Dans le ciel un oiseau blanc âme seule un instant suspendue s'éloigne sans daigner bouger les ailes

#micropoèmes

#shieko

Journal 4 octobre 2026 Le saké de l'adieu

On est toutes ensemble ce soir, on est tristes mais un peu heureuses. Hier au soir on a décidé d'aller ensemble à fukushima sans savoir ce qu’on y ferai ni ce quon trouverait. Bien sûr on ne pensait pas trouver shieko mais on voulait y aller. Mon frère nous a prêté un minibus, hayame a le permis, on est parties ce matin, on a acheté des fleurs en route. Il faut 3 h pour arriver. La côte est désolée, c{est plein de terrains vagues de dépôts de débris. O n'a pas pu pénétrer en zone interdite, bien sûr, il y a des barrières partout. Très peu de gens, âgés souvent. Ils ne craignent pas les radiations, à nos âges ils disent ça n'a plus d'importance. Personne n'avait vu la voiture bien sûr, ça aurait été trop beau. Pour finir on est allées au bord des falaises, pas loin de la centrale, on a lancé nos fleurs là en pensant à chie. Son corps n'est pas loin on le sait, on le sent. Deux vieilles personnes nous ont demandé si on rendait hommage à des disparus... On ne s'est pas plus attardées. On est rentrées en silence, en pleurant un peu, mais c'était comme un adieu cette fois. On sait qu’on ne la reverra plus, sa grâce, sa gentillesse, sa gaieté … Les larmes viennent en écrivant ça. C’est un peu comme après une catastrophe, on se compte entre survivantes. On avait emmené une bouteille de saké, chacune a bu au goulot et on a vidé le reste dans la mer. À toi shieko notre amie pour toujours.

#shieko

“Cry, the beloved country, for the unborn child that is the inheritor of our fear. Let him not love the earth too deeply. Let him not laugh too gladly when the water runs through his fingers, not stand too silent when the setting sun makes the veld with fire. Let him not be too moved when the birds of his land are singing, nor give too much of his heart to a mountain or a valley. For fear will rob him of all, if he gives to much.”

Alan Paton- Cry, the Beloved Country, Cape

Publicat la 26 ianuarie 2017

Unele liste se numesc rezoluții și se întocmesc la începutul anului. Astea par să ne motiveze, să ne dea un impuls. De cele mai multe ori, rezoluțiile sfârșesc prin a nu fi bifate decât în mică măsură.

Sunt apoi listele care cuprind obligațiile cotidiene. Astea sunt deja automatisme și nu influențează realizarea rezoluțiilor decât în măsura în care ocupă timpul necesar a fi alocat rezoluțiilor.

Din când în când apar tot felul de priorități sub forma unor evenimente surprinzătoare, surprinderea putând avea sensul cel mai divers, cel mai variat. Acestea se aruncă, plonjează în fața tuturor celorlalte lucruri pe care le avem de făcut. Acestea schimbă nu doar listele, dar schimbă însuși cursul vieții noastre.

Acest curs nu este predefinit, nu ne „s-a scris în frunte”, ci el este rezultatul acțiunilor noastre din fiecare moment, este rezultatul deciziilor noastre la fiecare problemă sau situație, oricât de nesemnificativă sau de importantă ar putea fi.

Așadar, listele „To Do” („de făcut”) sunt și ele un factor determinant în stabilirea următorului pas pe întinsa și neștiuta câmpie din fața noastră. Ai făcut lista? S-ar putea să faci un pas la dreapta, mergând apoi până dai de urmele altora ca tine.

Te-ai fi așteptat să intersectezi o potecă asemănătoare celei de pe care vii, dar care are o altă direcție? Ți se pare mai interesant să continui de acum pe această nouă cale în loc să o croiești pe a ta în continuare? Dacă o vei face pentru o vreme, te vei fi depărtat deja de ceea ce ți-ar fi putut rezerva propria ta cale! Iar dacă pe noul traseu s-ar putea să nu găsești nimic interesant, e posibil ca drumul de întoarcere să nu mai poată fi parcurs, crezând că vei mai putea continua din locul în care ai dat de poteca cea nouă…

Parcurgem acest drum, trasăm acest drum în viață, precum o furnică ce ajunge la baza unui copac secular cu o coroană imensă, frumos conturată. Furnica asta apucă să dea de gustul scoarței bătrânului copac și începe ascensiunea.

Desigur, nu îi va trebui o viață să ajungă la marginea coroanei, dar gândiți-vă câte infinite posibilități, câte trasee posibile pot exista în acest copac! Fiecare adiere de vânt, fiecare strălucire a unei raze de soare sau fiecare vrabie care se năpustește asupra furnicii poate fi un eveniment care să schimbe traseul furnicii!

Acesta poate fi Copacul Vieții sau poate fi doar o reprezentare vizuală a infinitelor posibile trasee ale noastre în viață!

Putem face liste, putem să respectăm termenele impuse, putem să ne abatem de la ele sau putem chiar să le ignorăm. E posibil ca după ani buni să le găsim într-un sertar și să constatăm cu surprindere că am realizat mare parte din ceea ce ne propusesem odată sau să zâmbim amuzați de ideile noastre de altădată.

Putem alege!