This afternoon, a Rivalry game.

The Chicago Cubs vs the St. Louis Cardinals, a classic MLB rivalry game, is scheduled to start this afternoon at 3:05 PM CDT. As I usually do, I'll follow the game's score and stats in real time via MLB's Gameday Service where we can also find a link to the radio-call of the game.

And the adventure continues.

I was listening today, on my last day of work, to the Irreligious album by Moonspell. It’s my favourite one, not because the best track is on there, but rather because every single track (except Raven Claws) is 100/100

And that’s my firm conviction

My cousin, a great philosopher, he played me this album a long time ago and it blew my mind then.

It was during my most eccentric period of life, I had a green cape and green nail polish which miscoloured my nails, a green jacket and hair which was also green, a green hoodie cut in a Romulan fashion. (From star trek of course).

I don’t know why I was so strangely clothed back then, I think it may have been a natural progression of the style I adopted in high school, a rejection from a norm which I felt had rejected me. I wasn’t aware of anyone dressing like this.

Only by becoming very strange, I found a sense of self deep within.

Or something, I felt like something.

This was not to get attention, but rather a way to not disappear. Or maybe a way to seize control of my life. Or maybe a ward against ”normal” people.

So we lent this CD or a copy to the girl I was in love with at the time, she who spat in my food. I remember lending it to her because her favourite track was Raven Claws.

But this is of course all in the past, just like the job I just finished.

And I just try to navigate this life as best I can.

Lydia's Weekly Lifestyle blog is for today's African girl, so no subject is taboo. My purpose is to share things that may interest today's African girl.

This week's contributors: Lydia, Pépé Pépinière, Titi. This week's subjects: Soft Power Dressing for the Accra Girl, African cultural heritage for sale, free of charge, And what to do if your baby is an idiot? Beans and blue zones, and Jollof Goat, delivery from Nyonyo

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Soft Power Dressing for the Accra Girl. Who said corporate fashion has to be stiff, stressful, and smelling faintly of printer ink? Enter the kimono — the effortlessly chic fashion piece quietly transforming office wardrobes from “HR-approved” to “main character energy.” Why the Kimono Works for Corporate Wear. A kimono adds instant sophistication without trying too hard. It’s that magical piece that says: “I closed deals today… but I also know the best cocktail spot in Osu.” The “I’m Busy but Stylish” Hack The beauty of kimonos is that they make lazy dressing look intentional. Running late for work? Throw a kimono over: A plain midi dress Sleeveless top and pants Pencil skirt and tank top Suddenly everyone thinks you planned the outfit for days. Fashion is funny like that. Kimono Length Matters Short kimonos = playful Friday office energy Mid-length kimonos = polished everyday chic Long flowing kimonos = dramatic “don’t disturb me unless it’s important” energy. Choose wisely depending on your mood — and whether your office AC is fighting for its life. Fashion memo: So next time your wardrobe feels boring, skip the predictable blazer and reach for a kimono instead. Because spreadsheets are temporary. Style is forever. African cultural heritage for sale, free of charge. Great was my surprise when I saw a woman dressed as per attached photograph. In a mini village in the French countryside, 600 km from Paris. I’d be very surprised if she had visited family or friends in Ghana and brought this as a souvenir. And it was different, it was printed, not woven. So what are we going to do? Those involved in the production of these local garments, be they kente, adinkra batakari or the recently launched bambolse are quite a few and are earning a little bit of money from it, through local sales and from a few cheap sales at a local tourist market. Whilst a dress as per picture, rightly marketed, should retail for at least 1000 GHC in Europe. But there’s a bit of light in the tunnel. Since September 2025 our kente is WIPO protected (World Intellectual Property Organization), meaning whoever produces whatever can not call it kente unless it is kente made in Ghana. And this WIPO thing is UN recognized (just hoping that Trump does not blow up the UN). Ayeeko to the people behind this, it must have been a lengthy and frustrating process, these things are not done overnight. And pray they will also seek protection for our adinkra, batakari and bambolse. And anything we do officially overseas, cultural events, things organized by our embassies and everything else should show our heritage. Put Ghana on the map. Not only in the knock out.

And what to do if your baby is an idiot? You've taken all the precautions, no sickle or noted madness in your or his family, you did not take alcohol or certain medications during pregnancy and you ate healthy. And still, disaster, your child is born with Down Syndrome or something else which will make it never perform normally in society and which will make it need constant care. Fact is that abnormal children is happening more often these days than 30 years ago. Figures are difficult to get, Down Syndrome is about 0.15% (15 per 10,000), but if you add other problems you get to about 1.5 %, 15 per 1000 (per thousand), or 8000 “abnormal” children born every year in Ghana). You are the mother, so you are going to give that care. So here you are, you are now doomed. Till you die. Is that fair? Or should you rather put the child up for adoption, relinquishment? And continue with your life? Or send it to the village where people are more used to have abnormal children live amongst them, care for them, than in the cities? In some of the far-off villages they still have their own way to solve such problems, at night the child is taken away by ghosts or similar, and not seen again. Food for thought? Anyway, eat healthy during your pregnancy.

Beans and blue zones. Blue zones are areas in the world where many people become an easy hundred years old. Famous are Loma Linda in the USA, Costa Rica, Sardinia in Italy, Ikaria in Greece and Okinawa in Japan. Apart from healthy life styles like lots of walking and moving and busy social lives researchers have of course looked at what these people eat. What really sticks out is that the average blue zoner eats 5 times more beans than the rest of the world. Ghanaian doctors mostly do not recommend beans. It is true that they can be a bit heavy to digest if you are not used to them, so take it easy in the beginning. A little more after a few days and so on. And soak them for at least 24 hours before cooking to get rid of the oligosaccharides, a form of sugar we find difficult to digest, and phytic acids which block iron and zinc absorption. Throw the soaking water away. Beans are also good against constipation, but here again, go easy in the beginning or you may even be misdiagnosed with appendicitis (I know of such a case). An odd fact is that Cubans, who are poor, live about as long as Americans, who have all the modern health gadgets. The staple in Cuba is beans, maybe with a side dish of some rice and veggies. And some fish or meat. Maybe time to re-evaluate our rice with chicken or chicken with rice?

Jollof Goat, delivery from Nyonyo. More bone than goat meat, and the rice not sufficiently cooked, and the oil had a funny taste. Anyone know of an evaluation list of food delivery providers?

Lydia...

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The National Press Club holds its 27th annual members photography exhibit again this September, which we've organized for the 11th straight year. The exhibit is NPC's celebration of visual storytelling, with the show's theme this year of “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

NPC's annual exhibit highlights special images produced by its members, displayed in the Club's main lobby in downtown Washington, D.C. for the entire month of September. Images in the exhibit are displayed digitally on four large monitors in continuous slideshows. Participants are asked to submit up to five of their best photos, not previously shown in the Club's annual show. The event is an exhibit, and not a contest. No judging, juries, or prizes are involved.

The exhibit gives Press Club members a chance to display their photography skills to professional colleagues, as well as employer and client prospects among the membership and the thousands who visit the Club for events. But you have to be an NPC member to take part. Here's more about membership.

The show draws participants from throughout the Club's journalist and communicator members. While there are still news photographers out there (myself included), many reporters are also asked to do their own photography. Plus, editors and publishers need to commission and recognize quality photography, and use visual media effectively to tell their stories.

Since it began in 1999, the Club's exhibit displayed outstanding photojournalism, but in recent years also shown street, art, landscape, and wildlife photography. Starting last year, the show introduced a theme to help focus contributions. This year, the theme is “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” reflecting the nation's 250th anniversary of independence. But photos on any subject are accepted.

The exhibit has become one of the Press Club's most participative events, with 50 or more participants each of the past few years exhibiting some 200 photos each year. We first organized the exhibit in 2016, and since then added digital image displays to print photos shown earlier and online exhibit catalogs beginning in 2019. Links to the catalogs are on the TechNewsLit exhibits page.

Copyright © Technology News and Literature. All rights reserved.

Today’s the third day of the heat emergency in Boston. It’s supposed to hit 96 today with a dewpoint of 70 degrees, which equates to: miserably hot.

The city of Boston has 18 cooling centers open. Good for them. The city also has a partnership with five museums, so the Museum of Science, the ICA, the JFK Library and the Edward Kennedy Museum of Sexual Harassment—sorry, Edward Kennedy Institute for the US Senate (tomato tomahto) are all open for free so people can get cool.

All of this is good. But today is a holiday, so public libraries are closed. Which means vital, possibly lifesaving cooling is unavailable to a lot of people. Check out the City’s own map and look at the huge chunk of densely-populated Dorchester that doesn’t have an indoor cooling center open (City cooling centers are represented by snowflakes):

Also note that there are five libraries in the map area (they’re represented by the little “book with a roof over it” icon) with no other free indoor cooling facilities. The spray icons are for spray decks and splash pools, which are good, but maybe not great for an 80 year old or someone in an electric wheelchair.

The city could have opened libraries today. This would have involved paying overtime to a lot of library employees. So the city chose not to do it. Presumably there’s no room in the budget for it.

But remember, budgets don’t just grow organically—they are the result of choices made by the people who make the budgets.

I live near the construction of the new White Stadium, which desperately needed renovation, but make no mistake: the City of Boston is building a stadium instead of helping residents stay cool today.

At this construction site, there are usually two or three Boston Police officers making at least 75 dollars an hour to do nothing. They literally stand there for eight hours doing nothing. Actually sometimes they sit in their cars doing nothing. This is the Boston Police overtime budget at “work.” You’ll see similar scenes all over the city wherever construction or utility work is going on. The police overtime budget was level funded even as the school budget was cut this year because the people who make decisions in our city think that it’s more important to have cops standing idle outside of construction sites than teachers in classrooms. And that it’s more important to have cops standing idle than to open libraries during a heat wave.

But maybe churches are open today. Certainly the mayor could be calling on the city’s faith community to help serve the community at large. After all, they leech off city services without contributing anything to the city’s tax base. The least they could do is throw open their doors to help their neighbors stay cool. Maybe some are doing that—I checked the websites of some prominent churches and found nothing.

This isn’t our first potentially deadly heat wave and it won’t be our last. Hell, it probably won’t be the last one this summer. Our local and state governments have a responsibility to their citizens, and they are failing to meet it. They’re failing to recognize the seriousness of the climate emergency (Yes, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts still operates Hanscom Field, an airport for private jets, lest John Fish have to fly commercial) and they’re failing to prioritize the needs of broke, hot citizens over the needs of Weymouth-dwelling cops with boat payments.

Boston and Massachusetts are villainized nationally by fascists, who talk about our extreme left-wing government. I wish it were true, but I’d settle for even slightly left-wing at this point.

الجمعة 18 محرم 1448

تنبيه

أحدثكم اليوم حديث الكاتب الذي يفضي ببعض تجربته لينتفع بها القارئ والكاتب. وأخصكم بتأملاتي في تجربة ثمانية أشهر في صناعة المحتوى الثقافي مرئيًا ومسموعًا ومكتوبًا في منصة أنى. حديثٌ شخصي متبسط لا يمثل أنى -فحساباتها معروفة مشهورة- بل يمثل تجربة إنسانية فيها.

أنى تكون المقدمة

(أنى ومن أين آبك الطرب *** من حيث لا صبوة ولا ريب

البيت للكميت بن زيد، وهو مطلع إحدى هاشمياته، وأنى: بمعنى كيف. وآبك:

معناه أتاك، والشاهد: استعمال «أنى» بمعنى «كيف)

شرح الشواهد الشعرية في أمات الكتاب النحوية – محمد حسن شراب

لم تكن أنى في حسباني وتقديري سوى أداة استفهام قلّ أن ترد في كلام الناس اليوم، وإن وردت ثمانٍ وعشرين 28 مرة في القرآن كلام الله عزوجل كما أحصاها محمد فؤاد عبدالباقي رحمه الله في كتابه المعجم المفهرس لألفاظ القرآن الكريم.

غير أنني تعلمت معنى جديدًا (1) لأنى وأحب أن يزاد في معاجم اللغة وقواميسها. أنى (مساحة للحكمة والجمال). وعهدي بهذا المعنى الجليل يبتدئ في ليلة من ليالي ربيع الآخر من عام 1447 لما فاتحت أخي سالم باعارمة في شراكة ثقافية مع إحدى الشركات، فدعاني -مشكورًا- إلى شراكة في مشروعه (منصة أنى الثقافية)، وقد تم الأمر في جمادى الأولى من ذلك العام.

ثم حانت ليلة الخميس [17 محرم 1448] فانقضى الموسم الأول، وأسدل الستار على المنصة، وبقيت آثار أمسياتها شاهدة على فضلها وشرف موضوعاتها. ونأمل عودتها قريبًا بإذن الله.

وتكفينا 190 مادة [أو تزيد] مرئية ومسموعة ومكتوبة بثت ونشرت في ثمانية أشهر في أربع منصات للتواصل: يوتيوب، وإكس، وإنستجرام، وتيك توك.

وأفضي إليكم في هذه المقالة بثلاثة أسرارٍ للتحول الذي شهدته بنفسي في هذه الرحلة الممتدة.

1- تجديد التعلم:

تعرفت إلى سالم رئيسًا وزميلًا في نادي اقرأ وفكر، وشهدت مجالسه الفلسفية والفكرية، وأحسب أنه شهد مني براعة في الكتابة، وتلخيصًا حسنًا لمجالس النادي [يسمونها لقاءات وأحب أن أسميها مجالس].

وقد لخصت 21 مجلسًا، وأشرفت على تلخيص الزملاء الفضلاء.

كنت آتي إلى اللقاء، فأعمد إلى هاتفي وألتقط شذرات من حديث الملقي، ثم أنصرف إلى البيت فأحرر الملخص لينشر في اليوم التالي.

وكان التلخيص الفوري -كما لاحظت- يصرفني عن التفاعل في المجلس، ويحملني على بذل الجهد في استخراج الخيط الناظم، وإعادة الكتابة من جديد.

ثم قدمت إلى أنى ممتلئًا بهذه الخبرة الجليلة، وألقيت أعباءها عن كاهلي لما قيل لي: الأمسيات مسجلة محفوظة.

وأدركت بعد قليل أن المجلس المحفوظ كالمجلس المشهود، وكليهما محتاجٌ إلى العناية والاجتهاد!

لقد وجب علي أن أستمع مرات وكرات حتى أظفر بخلاصة تستحق أن تكتب. والكلام الطويل -لا سيما النافع الماتع- يشق على من يريد أن يستخلص العظات والعبر واللطائف المستملحة والفوائد المهمة.

لم تنحصر مهماتي في التلخيص. إذ انفسح مجال الكتابة، واتسع نطاق العمل، وصرت أرتحل محمّلًا بمادة الأمسية إلى عوالم جديدة من المحتوى لم أجربها من قبل.

استغرقت الأمسية الأولى أمسيات عديدة كي أنجزها، وكذلك في الثانية حتى تناقصت المدة وتضاءل الجهد. والحق أن سالمًا لم يكن يتلقى ما أقدمه إليه بعين إعجاب تغض الطرف عن دقائق الأمور بل بعين فاحصة ناقدة، فأفادني ذلك كثيرًا، وأحسب أنني انتفعت منه في التحسين والتجويد.

وامتد العمل في المحتوى إلى الإشراف على تحرير المقاطع المطولة، واستخراج الشائق منها، والكتابة عنها ووصفها بأساليب مختلفة ولأغراض شتى. فاكتسبت مهارةٌ لا تقدر بثمن، والحمد لله رب العالمين.

ولا ينبغي لي أن أنسى مرئيات أخي عبدالوهاب رئيس فريق الإنتاج، وملاحظات الأخت أمجاد قائدة فريق إدارة المحتوى، ومعها الأخت رهف المصممة البارعة. فقد استفدت من هؤلاء جميعًا وإنني أشكر الله عز وجل ثم أخي سالم على الاجتماع في مشروع ثقافي فريد.

ما أكثر ما تعلمته في أنى! وهذه أهم خلاصة أبذلها لكل من يحب أن يدير صناعة المحتوى الثقافي (إن تجديد التعلم باكتساب علمٍ ثانٍ لا يبطل العلم الأول، بل يزيده قوة إلى قوته، ويثبته في القلب، ويجمعه إلى نظائره المتفرقة، ويوسع مداركه في العقل).

2- قوة التكرار والإصغاء:

ما الذي أتذكره من لقاءات أنى؟

أتذكر الأستاذ طارق القرني وهو يحدثنا عن (الامتلاء بالمفاهيم والطريقة المثلى في الحوار)، وحديث الأستاذ رائد العيد عن (الحق في البداية الجديدة وجمال التأمل في الهوامش)، وملاحظة الأستاذ سليمان الناصر لـ(تعدد تعاريف الفلسفة وفلسفة الأخلاق التي كتب فيها الفلاسفة المحدثون)، واقتباس الدكتور عبدالرزاق بلعقروز عن (عراء العدمية التي نعيشها، والكلمة التي تصنع الإنسان)، ولمحة الأستاذة أمل عبدالعزيز عن (بارتلبي النساخ، ومطلع رواية الغريب)، وتساؤل الأستاذ هيثم السيد عن (السكر الذي لا يحيبه الصينيون والتيك توك المحظور في بلادهم!).

وهل أنسى مجلس الأستاذ أسامة الواصلي في (الواقعية التي أعقبت المثالية وشاعرية أفلاطون) ؟ وهل أغفل يومًا عن كلمة الدكتور علي النهابي في (أثر الأدب في واقعنا المعاصر والغرابة التي يحتكم إليها الأدب)؟ أيليق ألَّا أشيد بإلقاء الأستاذ سعد الشريف لقصائد البردوني وإعجابه بذلك (المثقف النافع)؟ أينسى التاريخ تحذير الدكتور سعد البازعي من (تعاقب الأزمات وخوارزميات الذكاء الاصطناعي التي تبتلعنا)؟ وهل يلتفت أهل الدين والأخلاق إلى اجتماعهما في مصنفات علماء الإسلام وإلى مجلس الدكتور حامد الإقبالي؟

إنني لا أكاد أمر بمقطعٍ مرئي أو مسموعٍ لأنى من غير أن أستحضر بدايته أو خاتمته، ومن غير أن أستمتع بما فيه من الإشارات اللطيفة والفوائد العجيبة. ولولا الإنصات لما تحقق شيء من ذلك.

لقد أنصت للمتحدثين لأخرج شيئًا من علومهم وتجاربهم إلى المتلقين، ورأيت في ذلك أمانة في عاتقي، ووسيلة إلى التعريف بهم، والتعريف إليهم.

نعم لست أنكر أنني لم أكن أحصل على الفائدة كلها من أول مرة، لكن الإصغاء مع التكرار أوصلني إلى الكنز المتواري في الحديث.

وإننا أشد حاجة في عصر شتات الذهن وتفرق القلب إلى إصغاء صادق، واستماع باهتمام عسى أن نجد حلاوة الحديث، ونظفر بخلاصاته المهمة.

أكان العمل يخلو من بعض الأخطاء والهنات؟ كلا. فقد استدرك ضيف أو ضيفان على خطأ بعض الكلام الذي نسب إليهما، ووجب تصحيحه ونقله على وجهه.

فإن كنت تحب أن تستخلص أنفس ما في الحديث وأجمل ما في الكلام فأنصت واستمع وكرر الاستماع لتكون ممن قال فيهم الشاعر: (أخلق بذي الصبر أن يحظى بحاجته *** ومدمن القرع للأبواب أن يلجا)؟

3- الشريك الإنسان!

أنى راية نصبها سالم واجتمعتُ تحتها مع أمين شحود وندى القحطاني وداود صالح وأبان قاضي وفريقي الإنتاج وإدارة المحتوى المذكورين. وأرجو أنني لم أنس أحدًا ساهم في رفع الراية والتمسك بها.

نعم لكل واحدٍ منا غايته من الراية، وهدفٌ يتحقق من المشروع، لكن الشراكة التي استشعرتها مع أفراد المشروع ليست شراكة احترافية أو مهنية بل شراكة إنسانية تهتم بالثقافة وصنع الأثر.

شراكة أستشعرها في تفاعل ضيوف أنى مع محتواها الإعلامي.

وأستشعرها أيضًا في اهتمام الأصدقاء والمعارف بما قدمناه فيها.

ومنه تعلم أن إنسانية الشريك تتقدم المنافع التي يقدمها، أو المصالح التي تعود إليه بالنفع.

أنى تكون الخاتمة

لست أرى خاتمًا أليق بهذه المقالة من الإشارة إلى حسابات أنى في مواقع التواصل الاجتماعي، والتفاعل معها عسى أن تعود قريبًا وأن يقال أنى يأتي الموسم الثاني؟

قناة أنى في يوتيوب:

https://www.youtube.com/@anna_cultural

أنى في إكس:

https://x.com/anna_cultural

أنى في إنستجرام:

https://www.instagram.com/anna_cultural

أنى في تيك توك:

https://www.tiktok.com/@anna_cultural

فأنى تكون العودة؟

وكتب البراء بن محمد

في أواخر عصر الجمعة الساعة الحادية عشرة وتسع دقائق قبل غروب الشمس لإحدى عشرة إن بقين من شهر الله المحرم لعام ثمانية وأربعين وأربع مئة وألف.

The octave belongs to nature. The guitar fretboard belongs to culture. The space between them is where the story of music unfolds.

I’ve walked into many a pub session in Ireland, cathedral choir rehearsals in England and Germany, and bluegrass and country-blues gatherings in Kentucky. And whilst I’ve never yet managed a conservatoire in Paris – I’m still waiting for the invitation – I can guarantee that they are all very different musical worlds.

Different instruments. Different customs. Different ideas about what makes a performance good. Different ways of learning. Different musical languages.

Yet beneath all that variety lies a curious fact. Whether the music comes from a sean-nós singer in Connemara, a Bach chorale in Leipzig, or a mandolin player on a Kentucky porch, everyone is listening with the same pair of ears.

And that simple observation has been the thread running quietly through my column on The Story of Music.

When I began the series, I thought I was writing about the theory behind music. Looking back over those ten articles, I realise I was really writing about something older and deeper: the conversation between nature and culture. The octave belongs to nature. The guitar fretboard belongs to culture. The space between them is where the story of music unfolds.

I began with something so ordinary that most of us never think about it: the octave. One note vibrating at exactly twice the frequency of another. Two sounds that are unmistakably different, yet somehow recognisably the same.

The octave appears in every musical culture not because musicians agreed to adopt it, but because it is written into the physics of sound itself. A vibrating string, a column of air, the human voice – all reveal the same relationship. Long before there were music schools, examination boards, manuscripts, orchestras, guitars or YouTube, there was the octave.

That discovery led humans to an even larger question. If the octave provides the frame, what happens inside it?

And here we encountered one of the great surprises in musical history. Nature gives us the boundary, but she does not provide the map. The space between one octave and the next contains no convenient grid, no easy markers. Human beings had to invent one.

Centuries of experimentation, much like you noodling on the fretboard or tinking at a piano. Singers found intervals that felt beautiful. Instrument makers found ways to reproduce them. Theorists searched for numerical relationships that explained them. Every culture developed solutions, and Western Europe developed several. Some favoured purity, others flexibility. Some worked beautifully in a handful of keys, while others made wider musical travel possible. Yet every solution carried the seed of a new problem.

The twelve-step chromatic scale emerged from that long negotiation. It was not inevitable. It was ingenious. By dividing the octave into twelve equal intervals, Western music acquired a shared framework. The wolf intervals that haunted earlier systems could be tamed. Musicians could move between keys without the entire structure collapsing. Instrument makers could build fretted and keyboard instruments capable of speaking a common language.

But it seems to me something curious happened. The new twelve-note framework did not erase the older musical world. Instead it settled over it like a transparent sheet laid upon an older map. The ancient seven note names survived. The old modal melodies survived. Even the strange symbols we call sharps and flats turned out to be fossils from an earlier age when names remained constant and pitches were nudged to suit circumstances.

Again and again we encountered the same pattern. New ideas rarely replaced old ones. They were layered upon them. The modes provided another example. Modern textbooks often present them as theoretical constructions, but history suggests the opposite. People were singing Dorian and Mixolydian long before anyone gave them Greek names. The patterns emerged first. The theory arrived later. Human beings discovered recurring ways of moving through sound and only afterwards developed the language to describe what they had already been doing.

Harmony followed a similar path. A vibrating string contains relationships within itself. The octave, the fifth and the third are already present as natural consequences of vibration. Musicians did not invent these relationships. They discovered them. When they began combining notes into chords they were, in a sense, making audible, possibilities already hiding within the sound.

Here the story became complicated. For all our talk of notes, scales and chords, nobody has yet produced a single explanation of why music moves us. The acoustician points to the harmonic series. The theorist points to the behaviour of chords within a key. The psychologist points to expectation, memory and emotion. All three are probably right, and all three deserve more attention than I could give them in a single article. Part Eight was less a conclusion than the opening of a door I expect to revisit more than once.

From there the journey became increasingly human. The seven degrees of the diatonic scale ceased to be mere positions and became behaviours. Some felt like home. Some invited movement. Some created brightness. Others carried shadow, tension or longing. What began as acoustics became psychology. We were no longer asking what sound is, but what it feels like to be a listener.

And finally we arrived at pitch itself. Modern musicians assume that A is 440 Hz because that is simply what A is. History suggests otherwise. For most of Western music’s existence there was no universal pitch standard. Notes wandered from city to city and generation to generation. Only through an extraordinary process of standardisation did we arrive at the world inhabited by modern guitars, pianos, orchestras and electronic tuners.

Even then, compromise remained. Equal temperament is a compromise. A440 is a compromise. The tuner in your pocket is enforcing a policy decision rather than revealing an eternal truth. Which brings us back to the question that has quietly accompanied every article in the series.

What exactly is music?

I wrote those first ten parts to suggest a simple answer. Music is neither arbitrary nor purely cultural.

It is not arbitrary because it emerges from physical realities that exist whether we recognise them or not: vibration, frequency, resonance, the octave, the harmonic relationships hidden inside sound itself.

Nor is it purely natural. The chromatic scale, note names, accidentals, modes, harmony, notation, pitch standards and instruments are all human attempts to organise, standardise and communicate those physical relationships. Every time I sweet-tune my guitar, I am participating in that long conversation between physics, culture and human judgement.

Nature provides the raw materials. Culture provides the architecture. The story of music is the story of the conversation between the two. The octave asked the question. The rest of music is our attempt to answer it.

Further Reading This essay reflects on the first ten articles in The Story of Music. Readers who would like to explore the journey can begin here:

Part 1: The Octave – Enigma https://go.dm.ie/the-octave Full Index: https://go.dm.ie/the-story-of-music

An excerpt from The Package (Novelette 1)

Another pack of instant ramen noodles with imitation eggs and sausages for lunch today. Need someone to install ransomware on a criminal’s holocomp? Bypass a Top Secret Station Security access? Divert gold coin mail transactions from Sol Mafia? I’m your guy, Malcolm Diego. However, business is slow despite being an awesome cyberjacker, and my savings are dwindling.

Unity Station Security cracks down big time on its War on Hacking. I take a couple days off when security arrests the majority of the cyberjacker network. The mediocre skilled are in jail and the best are floating outside the station without a spacesuit or turn into protein packs.

The good news, I’m still alive and have a month of savings. The bad news, Station Security is eyeing my every move. It’s only a matter of time before Chief Mascow comes up with some dumb excuse to arrest me. I guess I can find a corporate job until the heat dies. Nothing wrong trying to be legit.

I activate my armcomp to update my resume and search for any job openings. With some embellishments, I put in enough experience to wow the HR departments, despite my criminal history. Maybe I can also add “Bypassed security encryption to obtain $250,000 from the Bank of Unity.” Or, “Collected and analyzed AIFutCom President and CEO’s sexual history” in my Accomplishments section.

LunaStar might be hiring, but Moon Police are still looking for me as a person of interest in a price-gouging scheme after a colony accident. Apparently, trading oxygen and food one cent higher than the “fair price” is illegal. How about MarsSAM? No, wait. The CFO’s daughter thinks I impregnated her. I didn’t even talk to much less touch her, I swear. Maybe one of the Asteroid Belt colonies? They always need a good holocomp tech.

However, a trip to the Belt is about four to six months, including turnover, and no one has invented faster-than-light travel yet. I worked as a holocomp maintenance tech on a Luna-Mars-Luna transport a few times. But you’re packed in those tiny living quarters like sardines and there’s only so much you can do to pass the time before you start acting like an asylum patient. But I need the moolah, so I’ll take any job available.

The Spacers Guild currently has plenty of ships heading for the Belt. I cross-check ship and colony job listings. The transport ship Hella Awesome needs a part-time holocomm/holocomp tech and offers the standard pay and benefits. Typhod Station desperately needs holocomp techs, and the pay is five times the current market rate.

Typhod Holo Services gives me the job after eighteen minutes of radio sending/receiving. Hella Awesome accepts my application after seven minutes, and it departs at 1800 at Terminal Nineteen. I slurp my last ramen noodle. Time to pack.

My duffle bag includes an EVA skinsuit and helmet, two spares of civvies, work jumpsuit, and a toothbrush. I transfer all my Bank of Unity savings to my CryptoCoin wallet stored in my brain implant. Goodbye Unity. Now the hard part is leaving without being hassled by Station Security or bad guys with a grudge. I program the station’s computer to close my housing and utilities accounts the second Hella Awesome departs.

Station time is 1213. Plenty of people to hide behind during lunch break traffic. I’m hoping the baseball cap obscures me from the facial recognition surveillance software. I walk behind the big and tall (which is most people), slip past shoulders, and don’t make any eye contact. Employees from a clothing store and ramen restaurant curse at me while I’m exiting through their back doors.

But that isn’t enough. My shirt tightens and my lungs restrict. A bear-like figure spins me around. He towers over me and a growl rumbles from his diaphragm.

“Shut up and don’t move.”

I comply, and the familiar assailant puts himself between me and my escape to Central Docking Bay and Terminal Nineteen. In my most polite voice, I greet the man with the security badge.

“Hello, Chief Mascow.”

Chief Warrant Officer Emery Mascow snorts.

“You didn’t think you could leave this station without me knowing, did you?”

I smile, knowing Mascow can throw my ass in jail for any reason.

“No, of course not. Nothing gets by you, Chief.”

Passersby ignore us and keep on walking while Chief Mascow shoves me against the wall. He pokes his cigar-shaped finger at my chest.

“For years, I’ve wanted nothing more than to see you rot in prison or spaced towards Earth’s atmosphere. But I guess I’ll have to settle with you leaving this station forever. I don’t care where you’re going. Actually, I do. So I can warn the poor sucker that has to watch you. You better not come back or else. You hear me?”

My chest hurts but a few words escape from my lungs.

“Crystal clear, Chief.”

Chief Mascow spins me and hurls me back into the crowd. I walk and don’t look back. Going to miss that big lug.

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Die meisten Menschen wünschen sich ein glückliches Leben. Doch worin besteht Glück eigentlich? Für die einen bedeutet es Gesundheit, für andere beruflichen Erfolg, finanzielle Sicherheit oder erfüllte Beziehungen. Die moderne Ratgeberliteratur empfiehlt Achtsamkeit, Dankbarkeit oder positive Gewohnheiten. Hinter all diesen Ansätzen steht mehrheitlich dieselbe Annahme: Glück sei ein Zustand, den wir erreichen oder bewahren können.

Marcus Tullius Cicero hätte dieser Vorstellung vermutlich widersprochen. Nicht weil er Glück für unwichtig hielt, sondern weil er glaubte, dass wir es an der falschen Stelle suchen. Wer sein Leben darauf ausrichtet, glücklich zu werden, läuft Gefahr, den Blick auf das Wesentliche zu verlieren. Entscheidend sei nicht, wie wir uns fühlen, sondern wer wir sind. Glück entsteht nicht dadurch, dass wir ihm nachjagen, sondern als Folge eines tugendhaften Lebens. Bezeichnend dafür: Ciceros bekanntestes philosophisches Werk trägt nicht den Titel Über das glückliche Leben, sondern De officiis – Von den Pflichten. Verantwortung, Gerechtigkeit, Gemeinsinn, moralisches Handeln – das klingt eher nach einem Handbuch für Staatsmänner als nach einer Anleitung zu einem erfüllten Leben.

Und doch, liest man das Werk heute mit etwas Abstand zu seinem historischen Entstehungskontext, tritt darin eine Botschaft hervor, die genau diesen Anschein widerlegt: Ein gutes Leben beginnt nicht mit der Frage, was uns glücklich macht. Es beginnt mit der Frage, was einen guten Menschen auszeichnet.

Ein Philosoph in einer Zeit des Umbruchs

Cicero verfasste De officiis im Herbst des Jahres 44 v. Chr., als sich die Römische Republik in ihrer schwersten Krise befand. Caesar war ermordet worden, die politischen Machtkämpfe eskalierten erneut. Auch Cicero selbst sollte ihnen zum Opfer fallen: Nur wenige Wochen nach Abschluss des Werkes wurde er auf Befehl des zweiten Triumvirats ermordet.

Das Buch entstand also nicht in einer Phase philosophischer Musse, sondern unter dem Eindruck eines Staates, dessen moralische Grundlagen zu zerbrechen drohten. Es ist ein Brief an seinen Sohn Marcus, der damals in Athen studierte. Cicero wollte ihm keine theoretische Philosophie vermitteln, sondern Orientierung für ein verantwortungsvolles Leben. Er greift dabei zahlreiche Gedanken der griechischen Stoa auf, entwickelt sie aber eigenständig weiter und verbindet sie mit seiner Erfahrung als Politiker, Redner und Staatsmann. Im Mittelpunkt steht nicht der Weise, der sich aus der Welt zurückzieht, sondern der Mensch, der mitten im gesellschaftlichen Leben Verantwortung übernimmt.

Der Irrtum unserer Zeit

Wer heute nach Ratschlägen für ein glückliches Leben sucht, findet unzählige Bücher, Podcasts und Videos. Viele davon versprechen mehr Gelassenheit, höhere Produktivität oder grössere Zufriedenheit. Dagegen ist grundsätzlich nichts einzuwenden. Problematisch wird es erst, wenn Glück selbst zum eigentlichen Ziel wird.

Cicero würde diesen Gedanken umkehren. Nicht das Glück sollte unser Ziel sein, sondern die Tugend. Glück ist kein Besitz, den man erwerben kann, sondern die natürliche Folge eines gut geführten Lebens. Schon zu Beginn des Werkes erklärt er, dass alles sittlich richtige Handeln letztlich aus vier Grundtugenden hervorgeht: Klugheit, Gerechtigkeit, Tapferkeit und Mässigung. Es sind keine vier voneinander getrennten Eigenschaften, sondern verschiedene Ausdrucksformen eines guten Charakters. Seine Definition der Klugheit fällt dabei aus dem Rahmen dessen, was man erwarten würde: Sie besteht nicht in Cleverness oder strategischem Geschick, sondern in der ernsthaften Suche nach Wahrheit. Cicero schreibt: [1]

„Alle Begierde nach Erkenntniß und Wissenschaft ist der menschlichen Natur eigenthümlich.“ (I. 4, 13)

Wissen besitzt für ihn keinen Selbstzweck. Erkenntnis soll dazu dienen, besser zu handeln; wer nur um des Wissens willen lernt, verfehlt dessen eigentlichen Zweck. Philosophie ist deshalb keine Flucht aus dem Alltag, sondern eine Vorbereitung auf verantwortliches Handeln.

Charakter entsteht durch Handeln

Der wichtigste Gedanke des ganzen Werkes lautet: Charakter ist nicht angeboren. Er entsteht durch das, was wir täglich tun. Deshalb interessiert sich Cicero weit weniger für grosse moralische Heldentaten als für die kleinen Entscheidungen des Alltags. Halte ich mein Wort? Begegne ich anderen gerecht? Handle ich aus Überzeugung oder bloss aus Eigennutz? Solche Fragen wirken unscheinbar. Sie formen langfristig den Menschen, den wir werden.

Besonders deutlich zeigt sich das in seiner Beschreibung der Gerechtigkeit. Ihr erster Grundsatz ist einfach:

„Der erste Grundsatz der Gerechtigkeit ist, dass Niemand einem Anderen Schaden zufüge.“ (I. 7, 20)

Der zweite besteht darin, gemeinschaftliche Güter zum Nutzen aller und persönliches Eigentum rechtmässig zu verwenden. Gerechtigkeit bedeutet für Cicero also weit mehr als die Einhaltung von Gesetzen. Sie beschreibt eine innere Haltung gegenüber den Mitmenschen. Ebenso scharf verurteilt er die Gleichgültigkeit gegenüber Unrecht. Nicht nur, wer selbst Schaden anrichtet, handelt ungerecht; auch wer Unrecht geschehen lässt, obwohl er es verhindern könnte, verletzt seine Pflicht gegenüber der Gemeinschaft. Verantwortung heisst also nicht nur, selbst korrekt zu handeln, sondern auch, dort einzuschreiten, wo offensichtliches Unrecht geschieht.

Glück folgt der Tugend

Cicero spricht kaum über Glück, weil sich die Frage für ihn in erster Linie gar nicht stellt. Ein Mensch kann äusserlich erfolgreich sein und dennoch kein gutes Leben führen. Er kann reich sein, angesehen oder mächtig und dabei seinen Charakter verlieren. Umgekehrt kann jemand Schwierigkeiten erleben und dennoch seine Würde bewahren, weil er sich nicht von seinen Grundsätzen entfernt. Glück wird dadurch zu einer Folge des Charakters, nicht zu dessen Voraussetzung.

Das widerspricht einer weit verbreiteten Annahme unserer Zeit, wonach wir zuerst erfolgreich, unabhängig oder zufrieden werden müssten, um anschliessend moralisch handeln zu können. Cicero dreht diese Reihenfolge um. Zuerst steht der Charakter. Alles andere folgt daraus, wenn auch nicht immer in Form äusseren Erfolgs. Ein erfülltes Leben hängt weniger davon ab, was wir besitzen oder erreichen, als davon, welche Art Mensch wir Tag für Tag werden.

Der scheinbare Gegensatz zwischen Moral und Nutzen

Wer sich im Alltag ehrlich verhält, erlebt gelegentlich, dass andere schneller ans Ziel kommen. Wer Rücksicht nimmt, verliert mitunter Zeit. Wer sich an Regeln hält, verzichtet vielleicht auf kurzfristige Vorteile. Es liegt nahe, daraus zu schliessen, Moral und persönlicher Nutzen stünden oft im Widerspruch. Genau dieser Frage widmet Cicero das zweite und dritte Buch von De officiis. Seine Antwort fällt eindeutig aus: Der Widerspruch ist nur scheinbar. Was wirklich nützlich ist, kann niemals unsittlich sein. Er schreibt:

„Nichts, was unsittlich ist, kann nützlich sein; und nichts, was sittlich ist, kann unnütz sein.“ (III. 17, 77)

Damit widerspricht Cicero einer Denkweise, die bis heute verbreitet ist. Allzu oft unterscheiden wir zwischen dem moralisch Richtigen und dem praktisch Sinnvollen, sprechen von „faulen Kompromissen“, „kleinen Notlügen“ oder davon, dass man im Berufsleben manchmal „eben realistisch“ sein müsse. Für Cicero ist das eine gefährliche Selbsttäuschung. Wer kurzfristigen Gewinn über seine Grundsätze stellt, erzielt vielleicht einen äusseren Vorteil. Er beschädigt aber zugleich das Wertvollste, was er besitzt: seinen eigenen Charakter. So erklärt sich auch, weshalb Cicero List und Täuschung so entschieden ablehnt. Ein Erfolg, der auf Unehrlichkeit beruht, ist in seinen Augen kein wirklicher Erfolg, denn jeder Gewinn, der den eigenen Charakter untergräbt, bedeutet letztlich einen Verlust.

Der Mensch lebt nicht für sich allein

Der Mensch sei von Natur aus kein Einzelgänger, schreibt Cicero. Wir entwickeln uns erst im Zusammenleben mit anderen. Bereits im ersten Buch heisst es:

„Nicht für uns allein sind wir geboren; unser Vaterland fordert einen Theil unseres Daseins, unsere Freunde einen andern.“ (I. 7, 22)

Dieser Satz gehört zu den bekanntesten Gedanken des ganzen Werkes, und das zu Recht: Er erinnert daran, dass ein gelungenes Leben immer auch Beziehungen umfasst. Familie, Freundschaften, Kolleginnen und Kollegen, das Gemeinwesen – all das sind keine Hindernisse persönlicher Freiheit, sondern Voraussetzungen dafür. Viele Vorstellungen vom Glück kreisen fast ausschliesslich um das eigene Wohlbefinden. Cicero verschiebt den Blickwinkel: Ein Mensch wird nicht glücklicher, indem er sich immer stärker um sich selbst dreht, sondern indem er Teil einer grösseren Gemeinschaft wird und Verantwortung übernimmt. Auch seine Auffassung von Wohltätigkeit passt in dieses Bild. Grosszügigkeit ist für ihn keine Gefühlsregung, sondern eine Tugend; allerdings eine, die weder wahllos noch zur Selbstdarstellung erfolgen soll, sondern mit Vernunft, Augenmass und echtem Nutzen für andere.

Erfolg ist vergänglich, Charakter bleibt

Wer De officiis liest, bemerkt schnell, dass Cicero Erfolg keineswegs gering schätzt. Als Staatsmann wusste er, wie wichtig Ansehen, Einfluss und Leistungsfähigkeit sein können. Er war kein weltfremder Asket. Aber er unterscheidet sorgfältig zwischen dem, was wir besitzen, und dem, was wir sind. Äusserer Erfolg hängt oft von Umständen ab, die wir nur begrenzt beeinflussen können. Gesundheit, Vermögen, gesellschaftliche Anerkennung – all das kann verloren gehen. Der eigene Charakter dagegen begleitet uns in jeder Lebenslage.

Darum überzeugen Ciceros Gedanken auch nach über zweitausend Jahren noch. Sie versprechen kein dauerhaftes Glücksgefühl und keine einfache Lebensformel. Sie richten den Blick auf etwas Beständigeres: die tägliche Arbeit am eigenen Charakter. Wir müssen nicht ständig fragen, ob wir gerade glücklich sind. Vielleicht genügt eine einfachere Frage: „Handle ich heute so, dass ich auch morgen noch mit mir selbst im Reinen sein kann?“ Auch die psychologische Forschung kommt zu ähnlichen Schlüssen. Menschen erleben langfristige Zufriedenheit häufig dort, wo sie Sinn erfahren, Verantwortung übernehmen und ihre Werte tatsächlich leben. Cicero hätte das vermutlich nicht überrascht. Für ihn war Glück nie das Ziel eines guten Lebens, sondern dessen natürliche Folge.

Drei Fragen zum Weiterdenken

Zum Schluss bleiben drei einfache Fragen, die Ciceros Überlegungen in den eigenen Alltag übertragen können:

1. Welche meiner täglichen Entscheidungen stärken meinen Charakter – und welche schwächen ihn?
2. Wo verwechsle ich kurzfristigen Vorteil mit langfristigem Nutzen?
3. Würde ich dieselbe Entscheidung treffen, wenn ausschliesslich mein Gewissen darüber urteilen müsste?

Cicero schrieb De officiis in einer Zeit politischer Krisen und persönlicher Unsicherheit. Umso mehr überrascht die Gelassenheit seines Werkes. Statt Rezepte für Erfolg, Wohlstand oder Glück zu versprechen, richtet er den Blick auf etwas Dauerhafteres: den Charakter. Darin unterscheidet er sich grundlegend von vielen modernen Ratgebern zur Selbstoptimierung. Diese fragen meist, wie wir erfolgreicher, produktiver oder zufriedener werden. Cicero stellt eine andere Frage: Wie werden wir ein guter Mensch? Wer versucht, klug, gerecht, mutig und massvoll zu handeln, wird Rückschläge nicht vermeiden können. Aber er gewinnt etwas, das äussere Erfolge allein niemals schenken können: die Gewissheit, sich selbst treu geblieben zu sein.

Vielleicht ist genau das der Gedanke, den ein Mann kurz vor seinem eigenen Tod noch festhalten wollte. Glück lässt sich nicht erzwingen, nicht planen und nicht dauerhaft festhalten. Wer es unmittelbar sucht, läuft Gefahr, ihm ständig hinterherzulaufen. Wer dagegen seinen Charakter bildet und das Richtige tut, entdeckt oft, dass Glück kein Ziel ist, das erreicht werden muss, sondern eine Folge eines gut gelebten Lebens.

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Anmerkung [1] Alle Zitate werden in der Übersetzung von Raphael Kühner, 1873, Cicero's drei Bücher von den Pflichten, zweite verbesserte Auflage, Hoffmann'sche Verlags-Buchhandlung, Stuttgart, unverändert wiedergegeben: https://projekt-gutenberg.org/authors/marcus-tullius-cicero/books/ciceros-drei-buecher-von-den-pflichten/

Bildquelle Alexandre Abel de Pujol (1785–1861): La clémence de César (Cicero verteidigt Q. Ligarius vor Caesar), Musée des Beaux-Arts, Valenciennes, Public Domain.

Disclaimer Teile dieses Texts wurden mit Deepl Write (Korrektorat und Lektorat) überarbeitet. Für die Recherche in den erwähnten Werken/Quellen und in meinen Notizen wurde NotebookLM von Google verwendet.

Topic #Philosophie | #ProductivityPorn

Photo by Millenary Watches on Unsplash

In Rejecting the Luxury of Hobbies I talked about the “investor” types of people. The people that seem to feel that participating in a hobby based around collecting should not affect their bottom line. Well, here we are, just a couple of days later, and one of these “collectors” just showed up in my YouTube with his latest video: Affordable Watches Lose You Money. Here's Why.

It didn't take long for me to understand the premise he was going with. He starts off talking about a Citizen Tsuyosa, a Seiko 5 SRPD55, and a Hamilton Khaki Field Mechanical he purchased secondhand for approximately half of the price the original owners paid for them. He goes on to claim that losing money on resale of a watch is the “cost of ownership”. (Not really, it's something different, as I'll talk about in a minute.) And he states that it happens to all classes of watches, but it “hurts more” for “affordable” watches.

Why does this happen? He claims that it's because of branding. Most brands like Seiko, Citizen and Hamilton haven't built up the “awareness” of Rolex and Omega. Add to that the challenge to Seiko, Citizen, Hamilton, etc. from micro brands that offer better products at the same price points. But the micro brands have the same issue: brand recognition.

What are the solutions? Well, the first is to always by second hand and avoid the loss. The other is to only buy what you like, and will not want to sell.

Well no sh*t Sherlock.

But, he has fundamentally misrepresented the underpinnings of how markets actually work in capitalism. In the fair market there is the concept of depreciation (borrowed from Wikipedia):

In accountancy, depreciation is an actual reduction in the fair value of an asset, such as the decrease in value of factory equipment each year as it is used and wears.

For many things we purchase the depreciation occurs the moment the item is taken out of its box and any wrapping removed. Why? Because it is no longer a new item, it is now a used item. And, once an item is deemed as used it cannot be sold as a new item, and therefore must be sold on the secondary market.

This concept of depreciation happens with nearly all the “things” we purchase: cars, computers, cell phones, bicycles, and many other items. They are seen as assets, and assets have a value that decreases over time. (The rare exception to this being realty, in which there are other market forces at play which can affect the value of the asset.)

The secondary market is typically made up of several groups of people:

• The main portion of the market is people who are deal hunters. They are looking to take advantage of the depreciation of the items that are being sold.
• There is a smaller portion of the secondary market that are collectors. These are people that are more interested in the items on offer for their significance. These items hold significant personal, non-monetary value, that is completely separate from the financial operation of the market.
  
• The final people are the investors. They are specifically focused on attaining items that have a perceived value that overrides its depreciation. This is where Rolex, Breguet, F. P. Journe, and other luxury brands fit into the market.

Looking at any item you want to collect as an investment is tremendously stupid. While it may be apparent that you can make money by investing in a Rolex, even that is at the whim of the secondary market. The specific reference you have “invested” in may fall out of favor with the market. There are no guarantees. Looking at any item that is “collectible” as an investment is no better than putting your money in the stock market. And, with the stock market, you have a better chance at getting a return on your investment if you work with an advisor.

So, the video is correct: buy what you like and will keep. Buy on the secondary market to get a deal. Or, buy the items that hold significant, non-monetary, value to you. But most importantly: don't look at purchasing any asset as an investment. And, all collectibles are assets that depreciate over time.

This is why I get annoyed with these “influencers”. Instead of explaining the facts of how markets and depreciation work we get a song and dance about “brand recognition”. That basic marketing junk that really doesn't mean anything to the market. The market is going to do what it does, regardless of the name on the dial. If there is no other lesson to be learned from the Wall Street Bets Subreddit, it is: markets are not rational, and cannot be relied on to act consistently or rationally.

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Categories: #Collecting Tags: #watches, #markets, #depreciation, #value, #assets, #new, #used, #secondary, #market, #fair License: Copyright Unattributed. Licensed under Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 4.0.

As a stay-at-home-dad (SAHD) I can’t help but feel that even today, even with the amount of SAHDs increasing, the world of daytime childcare just isn’t built for us. In the US, it’s still very much assumed that a child’s primary care taker is a woman. The SAHD is not uncommon, but it is still considered somewhat of an oddity. It still sometimes feels odd to me. Especially when I’m out about town. The world of day time childcare didn’t evolve to accommodate stay-at-home-dads.

The local library hosts a story time for children in the morning once a week. It’s very cute and attended mostly by mothers and their small babies. I’m usually the singular SAHD at the event. On one occasion I observed some of the moms break the ice with each other. Before long, they were trading stories about motherhood including particulars of breastfeeding and other peculiarities related to childcare. While I could relate to a lot of what they were talking about (minus the breastfeeding part), it didn’t feel right for me to join. Anyways, what is a man going to do in mother’s friend group anyway? It was an odd feeling of simultaneously feeling left out, but also having no desire to join.

On another occasion, I was sitting in the play area of the library when another baby approached me and my daughter. The baby waved hi to us and looked like she wanted to play. I waved back, and beckoned my daughter to try to wave to the other little baby (with limited success). Before long, the mother appeared. She glanced at me, gave me a brief hello, and escorted her baby to another corner of the play area. This interaction left me feeling somewhat slighted, but again I wondered what an alternate version of this interaction would be? Maybe the mother never comes for the baby and me, my daughter, and her have a cute moment of play. Maybe the mother, comes and joins us, we have a brief conversation about our respective babies and we part ways. But under no circumstances would I want or expect some kind of lasting friendship to form between me and this mother based on that interaction that would otherwise be more likely to form if I were a woman.

Interactions like these made me realize that places like the playground and the library are primarily women’s spaces. These are spaces designed for children to interact and play, but a natural byproduct of that space is an opportunity for women to meet and form friendships and communities. As a SAHD, I can participate in what these spaces offer, but only to the extent that they benefit my child. Obviously I’m not banned, or not welcome, but the spaces don’t benefit me in the way they benefit mothers. It’s similar to aerobics classes and group workouts at gyms. They’re predominantly occupied by women. Men can come and participate in the workouts, but the activity and the space is not for them strictly speaking.

As you can tell by this whole essay I’m writing about the subject, I’m not bothered by this at all but it does make me wonder what I really want? Do I really want to live in a world where playgrounds are predominantly occupied by other SAHDs? In a world of stay at home dads, are the mothers out working? Is that a good thing? That’s a separate can-of-worms I’m not qualified to answer. Would women really want their spaces dominated or encroached upon by men? Perhaps the feeling of discomfort I feel out in public as a SAHD is the system working. It’s meant to uphold a status quo—a status quo that’s telling me I should be working and my wife should be staying home to take care of the kids and if not her, then a nanny.

Then one has to wonder: If there were separate spaces for SAHDs what would that look like? Maybe it’s a playground with a bar in the corner. Or perhaps it’s a playground with an adult gym on the other side. To be sure, communities of fathers exist. They center around sports and scouting for example. For fathers of younger children, they exist as stroller-walks. However more often than not these activities exist only on the weekends. The rest of the weekday belongs to the mothers, the nannies and the daycare workers. The idea that a group of SAHDs would sit around and talk about being SAHDs while their children play is precisely what a woman would imagine we’d do. But it’s not. Male friendships aren’t generally built around relating and talking. They’re generally built around a common activity—like sports and hobbies. This tension points to masculinity and male-friendships being less suited to the type of community forming that women otherwise experience around childcare. I don’t believe there ever will be a robust community of SAHDs, at least not comparable or equal to the kind of communities formed around motherhood because of this.

Sometimes as I navigate the world of weekday, daytime childcare, I wonder if the discomfort I feel is something similar to the way women felt when they first entered the workforce—the feeling that they don’t belong there. A truly equal society would see an equal representation of men and women in the workforce and in childcare spaces like playgrounds and libraries too. We as a society place a lot of emphasis on having equal representation in the workforce and to a certain degree have achieved it. However if that’s the case, then why are these spaces still occupied by mothers? Why am I almost always the only SAHD at these places? Until someone figures out the answer to that, I'll be at story time next Monday—still the only dad there.