Votre maison donne l'impression d'être à l'étroit, même si la surface au sol ne manque pas ? Vous passez votre temps à chercher des objets perdus dans un chaos ambiant ?

Le mal, c'est l'encombrement, et il est possible de s'en libérer pour retrouver un espace de vie plus agréable et fonctionnel.

Ce guide pratique va vous donner les clés pour désencombrer efficacement votre domicile, en abordant les causes profondes du désordre, les méthodes de tri éprouvées, les étapes concrètes pour un débarras réussi, et comment éviter de retomber dans les mêmes travers.

Les Racines du Désordre : Pourquoi S'encombre-t-on ?

Il est facile de se sentir dépassé par le désordre, mais comprendre d'où il vient est la première étape pour le combattre. Souvent, l'encombrement n'est pas le fruit d'une seule mauvaise habitude, mais d'une accumulation de plusieurs facteurs.

L'Accumulation par Habitude

On achète, on garde, on n'ose pas jeter. C'est un cercle vicieux bien connu. Un objet peut avoir une valeur sentimentale, être considéré comme “utile un jour”, ou simplement être une prise de conscience tardive d'un achat impulsif. Ces petits “au cas où” finissent par prendre une place considérable.

Le Manque de Place Réelle (ou Perçue)

Parfois, le problème n'est pas tant le nombre d'objets que leur organisation. Sans un système de rangement adapté, même une maison spacieuse peut vite sembler exiguë. Des objets qui devraient être rangés finissent par traîner, créant cette sensation d'étouffement.

Les Changements de Vie

Un déménagement, l'arrivée d'un enfant, le départ d'un proche, ou même un changement professionnel peuvent apporter de nouveaux objets ou obliger à se séparer d'anciens. Si ces transitions ne sont pas accompagnées d'un tri conscient, elles peuvent rapidement mener à un désordre croissant.

La Difficulté à Prendre des Décisions

“Est-ce que j'en ai encore besoin ?” “Est-ce que ça vaut la peine d'être vendu ?” Ces questions peuvent paralyser. La peur de regretter un choix ou le manque de temps pour évaluer la valeur de chaque objet poussent souvent à tout garder, par défaut.

L'Art de Trier : Comment Faire le Bon Choix

Le tri est le cœur d'un débarras efficace. Il ne s'agit pas de jeter à tout-va, mais de faire des choix éclairés sur ce qui mérite de rester dans votre espace de vie. Une approche méthodique vous aidera à surmonter l'hésitation.

La Règle d'Or : Le Tri par Catégories

Oubliez le tri pièce par pièce au début. Prenez une catégorie d'objets (par exemple, tous les livres, tous les vêtements, tous les papiers) et rassemblez-les au même endroit. Cela vous donnera une vision claire de l'ampleur de ce que vous possédez dans chaque domaine.

Le Test des Questions Clés

Pour chaque objet, posez-vous des questions simples et honnêtes.

Ai-je utilisé cet objet dans les 6 derniers mois (ou un an pour les objets saisonniers) ?

Si la réponse est non, c'est un bon indicateur qu'il n'est peut-être plus essentiel à votre quotidien.

Est-ce que j'en ai deux (ou plus) exemplaires identiques ?

Si oui, demandez-vous si vous avez réellement besoin de plusieurs. Le double peut souvent être donné, vendu ou jeté.

Cet objet est-il cassé, endommagé ou obsolète ?

Si oui, et qu'il n'y a pas de projet de réparation réaliste et immédiat, il est probablement temps de s'en séparer.

Est-ce que cet objet me procure de la joie ou une utilité réelle ?

Cette question, popularisée par le concept de minimalisme, est puissante. Si un objet n'apporte ni joie ni fonction, quelle est sa place ?

Les Différents Sorts : Jeter, Donner, Vendre, Garder

Une fois que vous avez évalué vos affaires, il faut leur trouver une destination.

Jeter : L'Option Évidente pour ce Qui Est Hors d'Usage

Les objets cassés, périmés, ou trop abîmés pour être réutilisés iront à la poubelle ou au recyclage, selon leur nature. Ne culpabilisez pas, c'est une étape nécessaire.

Donner : Le Geste Généreux qui Fait Plaisir

Les vêtements en bon état, les livres que vous ne lirez plus, les meubles encore utilisables peuvent faire le bonheur d'autres personnes. Pensez aux associations, aux ressourceries, ou à vos proches.

Vendre : Monétiser ce Dont Vous N'avez Plus Besoin

Les objets de valeur ou en bon état peuvent être vendus en ligne, en vide-grenier, ou à des brocanteurs. Cela peut vous rapporter un peu d'argent et vous motiver davantage.

Garder : Les Essentiels et les Trésors

Ce qui reste, ce sont les objets qui vous sont vraiment utiles, qui vous apportent de la joie, ou qui ont une valeur sentimentale incontestable et justifiée. Ces objets méritent une place de choix.

Les Étapes d'un Débarras Réussi : De l'Ampleur au Soulagement

Un débarras n'est pas une action ponctuelle, mais un processus qui demande organisation et persévérance. Aborder cela par étapes rend la tâche moins intimidante et plus gérable.

Préparer le Terrain : Le Matériel Indispensable

Avant de commencer, munissez-vous de quelques éléments clés : des sacs poubelles résistants, des cartons de tailles variées, des marqueurs pour étiqueter, des gants pour vous protéger, et éventuellement des chariots ou diables pour les objets lourds.

Le Débarras Zone par Zone (ou Catégorie par Catégorie)

Une fois que vous avez choisi votre méthode de tri (par pièce ou par catégorie), attaquez-vous à une section à la fois. Commencez par les zones qui vous pèsent le plus, ou par celles où le désordre est le plus évident.

La Stratégie du “Une chose à la fois”

Lorsque vous êtes dans une zone, concentrez-vous sur une seule pile ou un seul tiroir. Ne sautez pas d'un endroit à l'autre, cela crée de la confusion et vous donne l'impression de ne jamais rien finir.

Le Cycle du Tri : Action Immédiate

Dès que vous avez décidé de la destination d'un objet, agissez.

Les Sacs Prêts à Partir

Ayez des sacs ou des cartons dédiés pour le “jeter”, le “donner”, le “vendre” et le “garder” à portée de main. Dès qu'un objet est trié, placez-le immédiatement dans le bon contenant.

Le Nettoyage Post-Tri

Une fois qu'une zone est triée, profitez-en pour nettoyer l'espace libéré. Cela rend le résultat encore plus gratifiant et prévient la réapparition rapide du désordre.

L'Étape Finale : Sortir ce Qui Doit Sortir

Ne laissez pas les cartons de “donner” ou de “vendre” s'installer dans votre salon pendant des semaines. Planifiez leur évacuation rapidement pour concrétiser votre démarche.

Au-delà du Désencombrement : Des Solutions de Stockage Intelligentes

Un débarras maison réussi ne sert à rien si de nouveaux objets s'accumulent sans ordre. L'adoption de bonnes pratiques de rangement est essentielle pour maintenir un espace ordonné.

Le Rangement par Zones Fonctionnelles

Attribuez à chaque objet une “maison”. Les choses que vous utilisez souvent doivent être accessibles, celles que vous utilisez rarement peuvent être rangées plus loin.

Les Solutions de Rangement Verticales

Utilisez la hauteur de vos murs ! Des étagères, des bibliothèques, des meubles hauts permettent de libérer de l'espace au sol et d'organiser efficacement vos affaires.

Les Boîtes et Paniers : Vos Alliés Discrets

Les boîtes transparentes ou étiquetées sont parfaites pour regrouper les petits objets (câbles, fournitures, jouets). Les paniers peuvent dissimuler le désordre tout en apportant une touche décorative.

Le Minimalisme Appliqué : Moins C'est Plus

Essayez d'adopter une approche où chaque objet que vous faites entrer dans votre maison a une raison d'être. Posez-vous la question de l'utilité avant l'achat.

Quand Faire Appel à un Professionnel du Débarras ?

Parfois, la tâche est trop colossale, trop émotionnellement chargée, ou simplement trop chronophage. Dans ces cas, faire appel à des professionnels peut être la solution.

Les Situations où l'Aide Extérieure Est Préférable

Il peut s'agir de débarrasser une maison après un décès, de vider une cave ou un grenier particulièrement envahis, ou simplement si vous manquez de temps et d'énergie pour le faire vous-même.

Les Services Proposés par les Sociétés de Débarras

Ces entreprises peuvent s'occuper de tout, du tri initial à l'évacuation des déchets, en passant par le nettoyage. Elles ont l'expérience et le matériel nécessaires pour gérer toutes sortes de situations.

L'Importance de Choisir le Bon Prestataire

Assurez-vous de choisir une entreprise réputée, qui propose des devis clairs et transparents, et qui respecte les normes environnementales pour l'évacuation des déchets.

Les Vertus Insoupçonnées d'un Intérieur Désencombré

Le bénéfice d'un espace ordonné va bien au-delà de l'esthétique. Cela a un impact concret sur votre bien-être et votre quotidien.

Moins de Stress, Plus de Sérénité

Un environnement ordonné réduit le sentiment de chaos et de surcharge mentale. On se sent plus calme, plus maître de son espace, et donc moins stressé.

Gain de Temps Précieux

Fini le temps perdu à chercher vos clés, vos papiers importants, ou ce pull que vous vouliez porter. Tout est à sa place, vous gagnez un temps précieux chaque jour.

Amélioration de la Concentration et de la Productivité

Un espace dégagé favorise la concentration. Que ce soit pour le travail à domicile, la lecture, ou les loisirs créatifs, il est plus facile de se focaliser quand l'environnement est clair.

Un Sentiment de Liberté et de Légèreté

Se séparer d'objets inutiles, c'est aussi se libérer d'un poids. Cela peut être une expérience très cathartique, donnant une sensation de renouveau et de légèreté.

Maintenir l'Ordre : Les Habitudes Qui Font la Différence

Le débarras n'est pas une destination, mais un voyage. Mettre en place quelques habitudes simples vous aidera à conserver votre intérieur ordonné sur le long terme.

La Règle du “Un Entrant, Un Sortant”

Pour chaque nouvel objet qui entre dans votre maison (un vêtement, un livre, un gadget), essayez d'en faire sortir un similaire ou un autre objet dont vous n'avez plus besoin.

Le Rangement Immédiat

Appliquez la règle de ranger un objet dès que vous avez fini de l'utiliser. Ne le laissez pas traîner “juste pour l'instant”.

Les Petits Rituels de Rangement

Prenez quelques minutes chaque jour, par exemple avant de vous coucher, pour faire un petit tour dans les pièces et remettre en place ce qui traîne. Un rapide rangement peut éviter l'accumulation du désordre.

Les “Points de Contrôle” Réguliers

Une fois par saison, ou à chaque changement d'année, faites un petit point sur votre intérieur. Revoyez une armoire, un tiroir, ou un placard et désencombrez à nouveau si nécessaire. Le désencombrement n'est pas une action unique, c'est un mode de vie.

FAQs #debarras

Quelles sont les causes de l'encombrement dans une maison?

Les causes de l'encombrement dans une maison peuvent être diverses, notamment l'accumulation d'objets au fil du temps, le manque d'organisation, les changements de mode de vie, les achats impulsifs, ou encore des événements tels que des déménagements, des héritages ou des transitions de vie.

Comment trier efficacement ses affaires lors d'un débarras?

Pour trier efficacement ses affaires lors d'un débarras, il est recommandé de procéder pièce par pièce, de se poser des questions sur l'utilité et la valeur sentimentale des objets, de catégoriser les objets en fonction de leur destination (garde, don, vente, recyclage, mise au rebut), et de se fixer des objectifs réalistes pour éviter de s'éparpiller.

Quelles sont les étapes d'un débarras réussi?

Les étapes d'un débarras réussi comprennent la planification et l'organisation préalable, le tri méthodique des objets, la mise en place de solutions de stockage adaptées, la gestion des déchets, et éventuellement le recours à un professionnel du débarras pour faciliter le processus.

Quelles sont les solutions de stockage pour éviter l'encombrement dans une maison?

Pour éviter l'encombrement dans une maison, il est possible de recourir à des solutions de stockage telles que les étagères, les boîtes de rangement, les meubles multifonctionnels, les systèmes de rangement modulables, ou encore l'optimisation des espaces sous-utilisés.

Quels sont les bienfaits d'un intérieur débarrassé et des conseils pour maintenir un espace ordonné?

Un intérieur débarrassé permet de créer un environnement plus sain, agréable et fonctionnel, de réduire le stress lié au désordre, de faciliter l'entretien de la maison, et de favoriser un meilleur bien-être au quotidien. Pour maintenir un espace ordonné, il est conseillé de désencombrer régulièrement, d'adopter des habitudes de rangement, de limiter les achats superflus, et de privilégier la qualité à la quantité.

To know or not to know. That is the question.

But we have misunderstood the nature of knowing. We accumulate information like spiritual currency, building libraries of concepts while the prison of ego remains intact. The mind becomes sophisticated, the ego refined—yet consciousness sleeps beneath layers of acquired wisdom.

The paradox is this: consciousness already knows. It has always known. Your work is not to add knowledge but to subtract conditioning.

Each egoic aggregate you eliminate reveals what was always there. Pride dissolved reveals humility that was never absent. Fear comprehended reveals courage that was your birthright. Desire transmuted reveals contentment that requires no external validation.

The question becomes not “what should I learn?” but “what might I unlearn?” Not “which truth must I acquire?” but “which lie am I willing to release?”

Knowledge that strengthens the ego is spiritual poison. Knowledge that dissolves it is liberation itself.

When you catch yourself accumulating another concept, another teaching, another insight—ask: Does this feed the “I” that wants to know, or does it starve it? Does this decorate my prison or provide tools to dismantle it?

The path of awakening is subtraction. Every insight that reveals another egoic pattern to eliminate is true knowledge. Every concept that merely adds to your intellectual library is another chain.

What we have learned through direct observation is this: the ego's greatest deception is spiritualizing itself. It adopts the language of liberation while maintaining its fundamental structure. It becomes the “spiritual seeker” who collects experiences rather than the awakened being who comprehends that experience itself is the prison.

We have discovered that mechanical repetition—the tendency to cycle through the same patterns despite intellectual understanding—is not overcome through more knowledge but through moment-to-moment awareness. The ego loves to study liberation; it resists actual liberation because liberation means its own dissolution.

We have witnessed how consciousness, when freed from the student identity, naturally recognizes truth without external validation. It doesn't need scriptures, teachers, or techniques because it has eliminated the very structures that created the experience of ignorance in the first place.

Consciousness needs no education. It needs liberation from the student.

The question of potential reveals another crucial distinction: denying the ego versus denying Essence.

When we say “I cannot do it,” we deny our divine nature—the very consciousness that makes transformation possible. This is not humility; it is spiritual error, the ego's final strategy to maintain its prison by convincing consciousness of its own inadequacy. The ego loves false humility because it reinforces the illusion of limitation.

When we say “I already have this potential, yet I have buried it under layers of conditioning,” we deny the ego's authority while affirming Essence. This is not arrogance; it is recognition of what consciousness already knows—that our divine nature remains intact despite the ego's temporary obscuration.

The ego's greatest deception is presenting false humility as spiritual virtue. It convinces us that acknowledging our divine nature is prideful when it's actually the prerequisite for liberation. True humility recognizes both the magnificence of Essence and the work required to eliminate what obscures it.

Observe how the ego responds to these statements. When you say “I cannot,” it feels validated—its authority reinforced. When you say “I have potential buried under conditioning,” it feels threatened—because this statement acknowledges its temporary nature as a cloud passing through the sky of consciousness.

The difference between these statements reveals the psychological foundation of awakening: we don't become divine through effort; we eliminate what prevents us from recognizing we are already divine. The potential isn't something to acquire but something to uncover.

Man cannot live on bread alone; sometimes, he needs a malt.

There is something nearly universal in our adoration of ice cream. Even people who can't eat dairy acknowledge how terrific it is and long for its enjoyment.

Even people who are at war with refined sugar know ice cream's appeal. How wonderful it makes you feel to scoop it out and watch that unique tearing texture the scoop leaves behind as it scrapes out that frozen treasure.

Ice cream is on my mind today, I have promised my muse I will taste the dream and speak of it in prose. And here I am cruising around on my death machine watching the sun set on a perfect day. The kind of day that demands a reward of the sweetest kind.

My partner and teammate in this thing called life squeezes me tightly in what is easily the best part of a motorcycle ride. Warm thighs wrapped around you, two lithe arms alternating between resting on my back, wrapping around my belly or squeezing my chest.

That last one is my favorite. It comes with the soft presence on my back of her breasts. A tender hug not for intimacy but because she doesn't want to be flung off. I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride. And tonight, I rodeo not for 8 seconds, but for 15 minutes with a cold delight.

We cruise slow and easy on back streets. This isn't a race. It's a savoring pleasure. The chug chug chug of the machine rolls through the neighborhood when I get a tap on the shoulder.

“You know, Braum's is close by. We should stop and get a drink.” She speaks loudly. Not a shout but with enough volume that I can hear through my space-helmet.

I smile to myself. Braum's is my mission tonight. Like Indiana in that cave, I plan to swap my bag of sand for the sweet golden nectar of a chocolate malt.

A lot fewer spiders though. And only one death trap: my rumbling steed.

The parking lot is hectic here as the sun drifts to the horizon in the west. Dodging traffic on a motorcycle is one of the first skills you learn. I'm pretty good at it. The author reserves the right to mask his incompetence with braggadocio... though 20y accident free on a motorcycle does deserve some praise.

Exiting vehicles whose operators are concerned with melting cones mean extra caution is required. We don't need a front-row parking spot, so I pick one out on the periphery. Drifting to a stop, I click the shifter into neutral with my left foot (always a satisfying 'clunk') and walk the silver and steel backing carefully, like a child learning to balance.

With that same foot, I push the kickstand down and rest the two-wheeler on its third leg. The angle is always disturbingly low. The lean puts the machine's center of gravity just were it needs to be. Tipping this over out of accident or malice while parked would take some pretty determined effort.

I step off to my right, but insist my wife get off on the low side (left). It's not only easier for short riders, it gets her bare legs away from the glowing exhaust. I know from experience that the last place you want your bare legs is leaned up against a motorcycle muffler after riding even a modest few minutes.

Helmets stowed we walk toward the newly remodeled southern institution. I am surprised there are places without Braums. For the uninitiated, they are a burger-place who specializes in ice cream but also have a pretty decent grocery store.

It's nice because they are usually in or near neighborhoods. This gives residents a place to grab an easy meal, enjoy sweet treats or pick up necessities. Maybe it is their intention to defy the food deserts most areas have become... maybe they just want to be first in line when you leave your house to get something food-related.

This location was closed for months while they remodeled. I note that it looks exactly the same, but everything is new. Gone are the scratches and dings from decades of wear. The floor is bright and polished and the backstage equipment is modern and clever-looking. I appreciate that the overhead menus are printed sheets, not the ubiquitous screens every place else in the world now uses. No surge pricing here, thank you.

Probably didn't have the ice cream kiosk thought.

Braum's tonight is a madhouse! It seems the good weather has driven everyone out for ice cream. The line at the ice cream counter is 30 deep. The burger counter is ghost-town. I count 20 employees back stage about half of whom are just loitering about chattering.

A logical brain (even a damaged one) knows where to order if it doesn't need to lust over that rainbow of cold colors.

I read our clerk's name badge, 'Faust'. I'm DYING to make some clever comment about the erudite scholar who makes a deal with the devil (were your parents fans of German literature? Or were YOU why they made the deal? Auspicious name, my friend). BUT Faust has the word 'trained' under his name. And Gladis is hawking him.

'It's his first day,' Gladis says, 'YOU are his first customers!'

They both beam. My clever commentary shifts away from that magnetic name and instead I say,

'Oh, that's great Faust! Welcome to the team. I'll be sure to keep it simple and straight forward. I'll have a double-double, easy on the spread, be sure you cook it exactly to temp, extra fruit, only ONE pickle, I'm aalergic but love them and have to have the savoriness, and be sure, uh Gladis, you still get those imported onions? Be sure you use ONLY those Faust, no white onions. NONE. And I would prefer if you can use the unsalted European butter to toast those buns.'

Said with a single monotone delivery with absolute seriousness and I can see the panic in his eyes. If this is simple, he thinks, Im dead. Gladis smiles behind him. She knows the score. I let it hang juuuust long enough for the relief to be comical and toss over my shoulder, 'dear, what will you have?' To which she responds in expected fashion with a question. Now Fausts brain is melting.

'Oh, that's a good question... Faust.' I insert this with urgency as thought I've remembered something. 'That makes me think, I changed my mind... I'll just have a small chocolate malt instead!'

Faust, a big guy in his late teens, visible relaxes. A small malt he can handle.

While we wait, my lady eviscerates the ice-cream team. She points out every flaw and mistake. Missing gloves, an uncovered cough, TONGS people, use the tongs. She should be a team manager here. They wouldn't like her directness, but they would love her easy-going side.

I smile. I don't like her negative side, but sometimes it's QUITE entertaining.

Our drinks arrive.

I am at war with sugar after a lifetime of addiction. Its power is still there though and I feel drawn to the little white cup. Unwrapping two straws, one for me and one for the muse, slip them into the viscous, rich substance. Not quite liquid, not quite solid... all shine.

The color mesmerizes me. My missus prefers strawberry, so I haven't had a chocolate malt in several years. But tonight, this is for me. She can enjoy her lime drink while I am enraptured in mine.

My first sip is a flood of flavor and emotion. It is smooth and cold. First is the sweetness smashes into my palette and my eyebrows go up to the top of my head, followed by my eyeballs. As the sweet subsides, a savory/nutty flavor settles in the back of my tongue. It tastes like wealth. This is ecstasy. No WONDER I loved these for 20 years!

As the flavor from the first sip starts to fade, the memory washes in. Unregistered in my conscious self, I hear the grind and whirring of the blenders and other shake-making paraphernalia. Ice cream Mission Control is at full bore. Somewhere in the ether, there is a scratchy radio voice counting down until the moment the treat is launched to the customer and the team of non-rocket scientists cheer enthusiastically.

More mundanely, the spinning blades bring in a vision of sheetrock and routers cutting and punching for construction. I am carried back decades to when I made my living in construction and spent countless hours volunteering to restore storm damage and build houses of worship. But these power tools are not for a new building but for frozen dairy.

The wet-sloppy sound of the whipped cream squirting from an inverted canister. It just keeps going and keeps going. How much whipped did that customer order?

I hear a 13 year old boy or girl, hard to define with this one, tell mom, 'Watch how many pull-ups I can do.' And the child proceeds to do inverted pull-ups from a waist high bar. 12-13-14. The young person is tired now. Energy burned and in need of that incoming sugar fix. She/he is probably who all that whipped cream was for.

The door bell dings, ring-a-ding-dingle. Followed by a tepid 'welcome to braum's'.

Gladis, the manager isn't having it though.

'WHERE YA'LL AT?!' She says forcefully. Not yell, but determined authority.

Then all twenty employees in unison say with force, 'WELCOME TO BRAUM'S!'

This makes Gladis smile. She knows her new crew needs training but they'll get there.

My chocolate malt continues to thrill. But toward the end, I've had my fill. My golden god has been snatched from the pedestal, my silver I exchanged was the perfect balance. No death-stones descent to chase me from this fluorescent-lit cave and I do not have to utilize my whip to swing across a chasm of doom.

The sun is setting and though neither werewolves nor vampires will hunt us after dusk, a motorcycle isn't exactly a great place to be as the diminishing light confuses already distracted drivers. We decide it's time to call it a day and cruise home.

My wife notes the 2nd straw. 'Why two?' She says absentmindedly.

I shrug and throw away the line, 'Eh, you never know when you'll need to share.'

But tonight, it was two straws, one drinker. Farewell, Braum’s, and your irresistible malts — golden gods in paper cups.

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#essay #memoir #journal #osxs #100daystooffset #writing #WYST #MEMR

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2025-09-09 12:20:00

This afternoon I'll have game 3 of the 3-game series between the Baltimore Orioles and my Texas Rangers. The opening pitch for this game is set for 1:35 PM CDT. The Rangers have won the first 2 games of this series, let's hope for another win today. As I usually do, I'll follow the game's scores and stats in real time via MLB's Gameday Service where we can also find links to the radio-call of the game provided by announcers of either team we choose.

And the adventure continues.

Morning lacerates glib instincts with the reckless hollow of a vacant corridor. We walk in step with the silent syllables stranding us as survivors from a strangely productive and uncomplicated design.

Too thrilled to have neglected the intolerance of a gluttonous till, we remain blindsided of every course-corrected negligence. In fact, we have a peculiar pattern of peddling headfirst towards the worst-case expenditure with an infallible persistence.

I'd be petty if I demonstrated care. The dare has always been how we'll wear awareness when the inhibited inflate their preferred indignation and disgrace fealty with a platform staged to be stunning.

My feet drag against a well-timed send-off while you eagerly race towards an ill-groomed subjugation. The state of our nation brays, nonetheless.

Written August 9, 2026. © 2026 AnOublietteofThought.

I’ve got the tasteof raspberries in my facial cavities still like a phantom scent or taste, like what happened last year with the smoked ham.

Sometimes I can sense one smell vividly and that’s what happened to the pie

The taste was intense and I have never tasted anything like it, it’s like the best taste I can remember ever having tasted, red

So I think what is happening is in the general absence of smell, to get one isolated like that is like lightning a candle in the blackened darkness.

the taste of course of red.

Notes towards an essay

All of my recently published essays have been identified by AI scanners as between 67% and 98% AI-generated.

I wrote my first published essay in 1965 and made my first documented contribution to public policy in 1969, in the United Kingdom, on the subject of arbitrary dismissal.

Since that time, my professional life has required that I write continually; essays, policy papers, reports, breifings, teaching materials & text books, letters, magazine features & jouralism, manuals and books

The suggestion that this work, or work emerging from the same habits and disciplines, is now classified as AI-generated is both curious and instructive. And even as I write this, I notice I can't help myself, but open this note with a tension. It's hard-wired. An immediate construction that emerges when my fingers connect with keys.

What's happening

I am told that as a practised writer, I may be triggering some of the same patterns that AI systems were trained to produce:

Clear, grammatical sentences with few mistakes. Consistent tone and structure throughout a piece. Balanced paragraph lengths. Predictable word choices rather than unusual or idiosyncratic phrasing. Explanatory writing that moves logically from point to point.

Apparently, and somewhat ironically, these are features that I strive for, I am after all addressing audiences that, for the most part, appreciate these things. These are features of good professional writing. And these are the very features that trigger the AI conclusion that I, or that my writing, is AI generated.

Thought: If I, and other writers, have been writing in roughly this manner for fifty, sixty years or more, and AI now writes in a similar manner, what is imitating whom?

Interim test.

So I took the seven paragraphs above, which I have written in the last five minutes or so, and ran them through the first free AI text detector that came up on bing; undetectable.ai . I did well and scored only 71% as AI drafted. Just Done gave me around 75% AI

The test assignment

Write an essay with three objectives:

1: Explain why my notebooks (like this one) are public. 2: Explain why I choose to use Write.as as my writing and publishing surface 3: Record the blogs and notebooks I maintain on Write.as and show how they link together, and how they link-in to my wider publication architecture.

Below I'm listing my structured notes that I will use to write the essay. Essentially I'll start with everything that occurs to me that I think is relevant. I will use the facility that Write.as affords me to edit and organize my notes as my thinking proceeds.

Structured Notes

I already have a notional structure in my head about the flow of the essay – the “publication architecture” as I call it.

I seem to be carrying an explanation of why the process of public thinking matters to me as an essayist. Write.as happens to be the tool.

I'm tempted to structure it around these questions: why I make my notes public / the open notebook concept why I want the foundations visible how my essays are the pursuit of understanding why write.as revision as navigation The notebooks/blogs as a defined appendix

Why I Write in Public

The discipline : People sometimes ask why so much of my writing appears in public notebooks rather than only in finished essays. The question assumes that the notebooks exist in order to reveal the process behind the essays. That is partly true. But disclosure is not the principal reason. Publishing notes is not an act of disclosure. It is an act of discipline.

Obligation : One of the most important lessons I learned from teaching is that public speech creates responsibility. The moment a statement enters the public domain, the person making that statement becomes accountable for it. That responsibility exists even when one is simply reporting the views of others...

If I write that the Environmental Party chooses to prioritise a particular issue, I remain accountable for whether I have represented that position fairly, accurately and honestly. Public communication imposes obligations.

It requires care not only in what is said but also in how it is said. A private note can remain vague. A public note demands greater precision. The audience may be large or small. There may be no audience at all. That is beside the point. Publication itself creates a standard to which the author must answer. The public note becomes a challenge: “Are you prepared to stand over this?”

Why the Foundations Matter

Many of my essays, reviews and policy pieces contain observations, interpretations and conclusions. Those observations emerge from somewhere. They arise from notebooks, fragments, field observations, discarded ideas, references, questions, conversations and research. Increasingly, I have felt that if the conclusions are visible, then at least some of their foundations should also be visible.

There is something almost contradictory about that. Foundations are usually hidden. Yet I find myself wanting to expose parts of the structure rather than conceal it. Not because I believe it to be beyond criticism. Almost the opposite. I want it to remain open to criticism. In a sense I am inviting the reader to become an editor and sub-editor peering over my shoulder. The notebooks are not merely supporting documents. They are part of the conversation. The reader is able to examine not only the finished essay but some of the path by which the essay emerged.

Essays and Understanding

I describe my essays as attempts at understanding rather than acts of advocacy. Advocacy begins with a destination. The essay begins with a question. Or a tension. Or a contradiction. Or an observation that refuses to go away.

My task is not primarily to persuade. My task is to understand. And to share that understaning. The closest I come to advocay is the pursuit of a shared understanding. If I claim that my essays pursue understanding rather than advocacy, then I should be accountable to that claim.

The notebooks help provide that accountability. They reveal whether I have genuinely followed the evidence. They reveal whether I have acknowledged ambiguity. They reveal whether reality persuaded me before I attempted to persuade the reader. If I claim merely to illuminate a tension, then I must be prepared to show how I arrived there. The notebooks become part of the discipline of intellectual honesty.

My View of Essay Writing

The essay is not journalism. Neither is it academic writing nor opinion. It is a mode of inquiry. The essay begins with a tension and follows that tension wherever it leads. The essayist starts not with a conclusion but with a problem. Through reflection, observation, research and writing, relationships previously hidden become visible.

The purpose of the essay is not necessarily resolution. Sometimes the deepest achievement of an essay is simply to reveal what is actually being argued about. Or what relationship has remained unseen. The essay is therefore a journey towards perception. Not toward persuasion.

Why Write.as?

The reasons are partly philosophical and partly practical. Write.as allows me to work almost anywhere. I can work from a phone while travelling. I can capture a thought before it disappears. I can draft a paragraph while waiting for a train or sitting in a harbour. Good sentences rarely arrive according to schedule. The platform accommodates that reality.

More importantly, Write.as has altered my relationship with composition. Years ago I would often compose large sections of text in my head before writing them down. The arrival of increasingly sophisticated software encouraged a different habit. Revision became too easy. Drafting became fragmented. Composition increasingly moved from the mind to the screen. Write.as on my phone, nudges me back towards mental composition. I find myself crafting paragraphs internally before typing them. It encourages me to think first and edit later.

The Freedom of Not Knowing

Perhaps the most important characteristic of Write.as is that a piece does not need to know what it is when it begins. I can sketch a structure anonymously. I can create an outline. I can develop an idea. I can begin writing without deciding where it belongs. Indeed, I can finish a piece before making any decision about what sort of piece it is.

Only afterwards do I decide whether it belongs in: • a notebook, • a field note, • a review, • a briefing, • a policy essay, • an essay collection, • or somewhere else entirely. There is enormous freedom in that. The classification follows the writing. The work discovers what it is before being assigned a home.

Publication Architecture

Part of this arises from the way I work. I sometimes think of myself not only as an essayist but as a publication architect. I am often interested in structures before I am interested in destinations. I want to understand the shape of an argument. The relationships between ideas. The route through a landscape.

Only later do I determine where a piece belongs. Write.as makes that possible. A piece can exist before its final form is known.

Revision

Revision occupies a different role in my work than it does for many writers. The important epistemological work often happens in the first draft. The writing itself generates understanding. Relationships emerge. Connections become visible. Assumptions reveal themselves. The first draft is frequently where discovery occurs.

Subsequent revision is something different. Less an act of knowing. More an act of navigation. Like choosing the best line through a bend on a favourite motorcycle. Or selecting the ideal moment to tack in a sailing race. The destination remains unchanged. The craft lies in finding the cleanest route.

The Open Notebook

The various notebooks and publications form something like an open notebook. Most websites display conclusions. These sites document parts of the process that precedes conclusions. Ideas begin as observations. Observations become notes. Notes become briefings. Briefings become essays. Essays become reviews, policy pieces or larger works. Not all observations become essays. Not all notes deserve publication beyond the notebook. Some remain exactly as they began. Yet together they document an attempt to understand rather than to persuade. Persuasion is left to the set of relationships between the revealed in the elements of the source material, and the reader

Appendix: The Write.as Publications

The Marshall Review (rvw.ie) The most polished publication in the network. Essays and reviews concerning culture, ideas, books, music and public life.

An Essayist's Notebook (esy.ie) Questions, fragments, observations and developing ideas. The closest thing to a public working notebook.

Field Notes (notes.marshall.ie) Research notes, sources, references and supporting material. An attempt to make visible some of the foundations from which essays emerge.

Radar Signals (signals.marshall.ie) Observations, anomalies, developments and emerging patterns whose significance may not yet be fully understood.

Briefing Insights (insights.marshall.ie) Short analytical briefings and concise explorations arising from ongoing inquiry.

The Marginalia of Sigi (sigi.ie) Annotations, side notes, reflections and intellectual wanderings that do not naturally belong elsewhere.

Wordpress & Substack

Marshall on Policy (plcy.ie) Essays and reflections dealing with governance, public policy and civic questions.

Ontology (ontology.marshall.ie) Explorations of meaning, relationships, categories and the structures through which ideas acquire significance.

The Writing Network Taken together, these sites function less as separate blogs than as different views of a single intellectual process. Some contain signals. Some contain research. Some contain questions. Some contain essays. All form part of the same endeavour: the attempt to understand the world through inquiry, and to conduct that inquiry in public

Stay entertained thanks to our Weekly Tracker giving you next week's Anticipated Movies & Shows, Most Watched & Returning Favorites, and Shows Changes & Popular Trailers.

Anticipated Movies

• Camp Rock 3
• The Brink of War
• ☆ The End of Oak Street
• The Rivals of Amziah King
• PAW Patrol: The Dino Movie

Anticipated Shows

• Moonshadow
• My Brilliant Career
• ☆ Lanterns

Returing Favorites

• ☆ Reacher — Season 4
• Tires — Season 3
• LINK CLICK — Season 4

Trending Shows Status Changes

• Life, Larry and the Pursuit of Unhappiness: An Almost History of America — Returning Series → Ended
• The Shards — Ended → Returning Series
• Our Sticky Love — Returning Series → Ended
• Muertos S.L. — Returning Series → Ended
• Star Wars: Visions Presents – The Ninth Jedi — In Production → Ended

Most Watched Movies this Week

• +1 Spider-Man: Brand New Day
• +1 Supergirl
• -2 Disclosure Day
• = The Odyssey
• +1 Obsession
• new Evil Dead Burn
• -2 Masters of the Universe
• new Spider-Man: No Way Home
• new The Devil Wears Prada 2
• -2 Backrooms

Most Watched Shows this Week

• = House of the Dragon
• = Silo
• new Ted Lasso
• new Lioness
• -1 Lucky
• -1 Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
• +1 Stuart Fails to Save the Universe
• -5 Rick and Morty
• -2 X-Men '97
• new Furious

Popular Trailers

• Watch at Home — Soulm8te
• Don't say we didn't warn you. — Ice Cream Man
• Dog Vision Trailer — PAW Patrol: The Dino Movie
• Forecast: 100% chance of falling. — Fall 2: Deadpoint
• Kiss your inhibitions goodbye. — Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma
• Tag who you are bringing to Oak Street. — The End of Oak Street
• Official Trailer — Primetime
• UK Official Trailer [ENG DUB] — Ramayana
• Final Trailer — Insidious: Out of the Further
• Caught in a web of love and appreciation — Spider-Man: Brand New Day

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Hi, I’m Kevin 👋. Product Manager at Trakt and creator of Rippple. If you’d like to support what I'm building, you can download Rippple for Trakt, explore the open source project, or go Trakt VIP.

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Ich habe den Sommer unter anderem dazu genutzt, verschiedene aktuelle Entwicklungen in der Berufsbildung und beruflichen Weiterbildung genauer zu verfolgen. Besonders auffällig war für mich, dass sehr unterschiedliche Initiativen auf ein ähnliches Problem reagieren: Berufliche Kompetenz lässt sich unter Bedingungen schnellen technologischen Wandels immer weniger in einzelnen Kursen oder punktuellen Qualifikationen organisieren. Europäische Initiativen, Projekte des Bundesinstituts für Berufsbildung (BIBB) und aktuelle OECD-Arbeiten weisen vielmehr in Richtung eines kontinuierlichen Systems der Kompetenzentwicklung. Künstliche Intelligenz ist dabei nicht das einzige Thema, aber ein wichtiger Beschleuniger.

Lernen wird Teil der Erwerbsbiografie

Die Europäische Kommission fordert in ihren beschäftigungspolitischen Leitlinien für 2026, Erwachsenen den Zugang zu kontinuierlicher Weiterbildung zu erleichtern. Genannt werden unter anderem individuelle Lernkonten, verlässliche Bildungsangebote und die Förderung digitaler Kompetenzen, einschliesslich AI Literacy. Bereits die europäische „Union of Skills“ hatte individuelle Lernkonten und Microcredentials als Instrumente hervorgehoben, mit denen sich Kompetenzaufbau flexibler über das Erwerbsleben verteilen lässt [1].

Für mich zeigt sich darin ein verändertes Verständnis beruflicher Qualifikation. Eine Person erwirbt nicht mehr zuerst einen Berufs- oder Studienabschluss und ergänzt diesen später gelegentlich durch weitere Kurse. Unter Bedingungen schnellen technologischen und wirtschaftlichen Wandels wird Weiterbildung vielmehr zu einem normalen Teil der beruflichen Entwicklung.

Dafür braucht es nicht zwangsläufig längere formale Programme. Unterschiedliche Formate können sich ergänzen: arbeitsplatzbezogene Qualifizierung, kurze Kurse, Microcredentials und umfangreichere Abschlüsse. Entscheidend ist, dass erworbene Kompetenzen sichtbar und möglichst über verschiedene Lernorte hinweg anerkennbar bleiben.

Weiterbildung beginnt „on the job“, nicht im Kurs

Eine zweite Entwicklung wird in aktuellen Projekten des BIBB sichtbar. Im Programm „Nachhaltig im Beruf“ untersuchen 17 Transformationsprojekte unter anderem, wie Kompetenzentwicklung, künstliche Intelligenz, Qualifizierungsstrategien für kleinere und mittlere Unternehmen und neue Formen betrieblicher Weiterbildung zusammenspielen [2].

Interessant ist für mich vor allem die Verschiebung des Ausgangspunkts. Nicht das bestehende Kursangebot steht am Anfang, sondern die Veränderung der Arbeit: Welche Tätigkeiten entstehen neu? Welche verändern sich? Welche Aufgaben können Maschinen übernehmen? Welches Erfahrungswissen bleibt notwendig? Welche Kompetenzen brauchen Beschäftigte unter diesen Bedingungen?

Ein allgemeiner Kurs über generative #KI kann Grundlagen vermitteln. Für die Praxis ist jedoch wichtiger, wie sich etwa Kundenberatung, Projektarbeit, #Führung oder Marketing konkret verändern. Erst daraus lässt sich ableiten, was Beschäftigte neu erwerben müssen.

Qualifizierung wird so stärker Teil der Arbeits- und Organisationsgestaltung. Kompetenzaufbau begleitet Veränderungen, statt ihnen erst nachträglich zu folgen.

Auch das Bildungssystem muss schneller lernen

Die OECD richtet den Blick auf das Berufsbildungssystem selbst. Ihr Bericht „Developing Vocational Education and Training with Artificial Intelligence“ untersucht anhand von Befragungen in 25 Ländern und zehn Länderfallstudien, darunter die Schweiz und Deutschland, wie Berufsbildung auf neue Kompetenzanforderungen reagieren kann [3].

Curricula und Qualifikationsprofile verändern sich oft langsamer als Arbeit und Technologie. KI könnte dabei unterstützen, Anpassungsprozesse zu beschleunigen, etwa bei:

• Arbeitsmarktanalysen,
• Kompetenz-Mapping,
• Curriculum-Entwürfen,
• Konsistenzprüfungen.

Für diesen Einsatz nennt die OECD fünf Leitprinzipien [4]:

• menschliche Orientierung,
• Vielfalt und Inklusion,
• Verantwortlichkeit,
• Transparenz,
• Datenqualität und Sicherheit.

KI soll fachliches und kollektives Urteil unterstützen, nicht ersetzen. Für mich folgt daraus eine zweite Ebene kontinuierlicher Anpassung: Nicht nur Beschäftigte müssen sich weiterentwickeln, sondern auch die #Bildung selbst.

Vier Stufen beruflicher Kompetenz

Aus diesen Entwicklungen habe ich für mich ein einfaches Vier-Stufen-Modell beruflicher Kompetenz abgeleitet. Es ist kein BIBB-Modell im engeren Sinn, sondern meine eigene Verdichtung und Weiterentwicklung von Ansätzen, die das BIBB für Medien-, IT- und zunehmend auch KI-Kompetenzen verwendet.

Ein wichtiger Bezugspunkt ist das MIKA-Konzept des BIBB zur Medien- und IT-Kompetenz von Ausbildungspersonal. Seine didaktische Progression unterscheidet „Erinnern & Verstehen“, „Anwenden & Analysieren“ sowie „Bewerten & Kreieren“ [5]. Auch neuere BIBB-Arbeiten zu KI betonen, dass Kompetenz über allgemeines Wissen hinausgeht und sachgerechte Nutzung, das Nachvollziehen von Systemausgaben sowie das Erkennen möglicher Fehler und Risiken einschliesst [6].

Für den beruflichen Umgang mit KI übersetze ich diese Überlegungen in drei Stufen: Fachkompetenz, Anwendungskompetenz und Urteilskompetenz. Hinzu kommt eine vierte Stufe, die ich bewusst ergänze: Gestaltungskompetenz. Sie trägt dem Umstand Rechnung, dass KI nicht nur einzelne Tätigkeiten verändert, sondern zunehmend auch Arbeitsprozesse, Rollen und Verantwortlichkeiten.

Die erste Stufe ist Fachkompetenz. Eine Person versteht ihre berufliche Aufgabe und könnte sie grundsätzlich selbst bearbeiten. Wer eine Aufgabe fachlich nicht versteht, kann auch maschinell erzeugte Ergebnisse kaum beurteilen. Eine Sachbearbeiterin im Personalwesen muss beispielsweise wissen, welche Informationen in ein qualifiziertes Arbeitszeugnis gehören, bevor sie dessen Entwurf einer KI überlässt.

Darauf folgt Anwendungskompetenz. Beschäftigte können geeignete digitale und KI-gestützte Werkzeuge für ihre Aufgaben einsetzen. Unsere Sachbearbeiterin weiss nun, welches System sie verwenden kann, welche Informationen sie bereitstellen darf und wie sie einen brauchbaren Entwurf erzeugt.

Die dritte Stufe ist Urteilskompetenz. KI-generierte Texte, Analysen oder Empfehlungen müssen fachlich, rechtlich und ethisch geprüft werden. Die Sachbearbeiterin kontrolliert deshalb, ob das Arbeitszeugnis korrekt, vollständig, diskriminierungsfrei und mit den betrieblichen Vorgaben vereinbar ist. Die entscheidende Frage lautet nicht nur: „Kann ich KI benutzen?“, sondern: „Kann ich verantworten, was dabei entsteht?“

Die vierte Stufe ist Gestaltungskompetenz. Sie ist meine eigene Ergänzung des Modells und geht bewusst über die individuelle Nutzung und Beurteilung von KI hinaus. Unsere Sachbearbeiterin könnte nun gemeinsam mit ihrer Organisation festlegen, für welche Schritte KI eingesetzt wird, wo menschliche Kontrolle nötig bleibt, wer Verantwortung trägt und wie der neue Prozess dokumentiert wird. Aus individueller KI-Kompetenz wird damit Organisationskompetenz.

Weiterbildung als Infrastruktur

Damit zeichnet sich ein mögliches Zukunftsbild ab. Berufliche Weiterbildung wäre weniger eine Folge einzelner Technologiesprünge, auf die jeweils mit neuen Kursen reagiert wird. Sie würde vielmehr zu einer dauerhaften Infrastruktur, mit deren Hilfe Menschen, Unternehmen und Bildungssysteme Veränderungen bearbeiten können.

Das wäre mehr als „lebenslanges #Lernen“ als wohlklingende Formel. Es würde bedeuten, Qualifizierung systematisch mit Arbeit zu verbinden, kleinere und grössere Bildungsbausteine kombinierbar zu machen, bestehende Kompetenzen anzuerkennen und Qualifikationsprofile regelmässiger an veränderte Tätigkeiten anzupassen.

Künstliche Intelligenz ist dabei möglicherweise weniger das eigentliche Thema als der Beschleuniger einer Entwicklung, die bereits länger zu beobachten ist. Wenn Wissen schneller veraltet und Tätigkeiten häufiger neu zusammengesetzt werden, genügt es immer weniger, einmal einen Beruf zu lernen. Entscheidend wird die Fähigkeit, fachliches Können zu erhalten, neue Werkzeuge anzuwenden, ihre Ergebnisse zu beurteilen und schliesslich die eigene Arbeit unter veränderten Bedingungen neu zu gestalten.

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💬 Kommentieren (nur für write.as-Accounts)

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Quellen [1] Europäische Kommission, „Proposal for a Council Decision on guidelines for the employment policies of the Member States“, COM(2026) 510, 3. Juni 2026. URL: https://data.consilium.europa.eu/doc/document/ST-10269-2026-ADD-1/en/pdf

[2] Bundesinstitut für Berufsbildung (BIBB), „Auftakttagung der Transformationsprojekte im Programm Nachhaltig im Beruf“, 5. August 2026. URL: https://www.bibb.de/de/191525.php

[3] OECD, Developing Vocational Education and Training with Artificial Intelligence, OECD Reviews of Vocational Education and Training, Paris: OECD Publishing, 23. Juni 2026. URL: https://www.oecd.org/en/publications/developing-vocational-education-and-training-with-artificial-intelligence_e9f76b4e-en.html

[4] OECD, Five Principles for the Effective Use of AI in Vocational Education and Training Development, OECD Publishing, 23. Juni 2026. URL: https://www.oecd.org/en/publications/five-principles-for-the-effective-use-of-ai-in-vocational-education-and-training-development_ee8c8e8e-en.html

[5] Bundesinstitut für Berufsbildung (BIBB), „Medien- und IT-Kompetenz für Ausbildungspersonal (MIKA)“, Bonn. URL: https://www.bibb.de/de/186279.php

[6] S. Straub, „Künstliche Intelligenz in der beruflichen Bildung. Rechtliche Anforderungen der KI-Verordnung“, Bundesinstitut für Berufsbildung, 2025. URL: https://www.bibb.de/dokumente/pdf/Straub_2025_Kuenstliche_Intelligenz_in_der_berufliche.pdf

Bildquellen – Friedrich Gauermann (1807–1862): Beim Hufschmied, Dorotheum, Wien Public Domain. – Die Infografik zum vierstufigen Modell wurde mit GPT-5.6 Sol Mittel erstellt.

Disclaimer Teile dieses Texts wurden mit Deepl Write (Korrektorat und Lektorat) überarbeitet. Für die Recherche in den erwähnten Werken/Quellen und in meinen Notizen wurde NotebookLM von Google verwendet. Für das Erstellen der Infografik wurde ChatGPT benutzt.

Topic #Erwachsenenbildung | #Maschinenwelten

Two days without showing up was very unlike her. In fact, just the sound of the door to the garden sliding open every morning would be enough for her to come running.

Suspicious, I decided to go look for her up and down the street, but I didn't need to look far. Right out front, I found her corpse. Next to a small piece of crunched up aluminum foil. Whatever was inside it, gone. Someone poisoned the cat.

I grabbed her and was surprised to find she was already stiff as a rock.

I carried her down to the garden, and buried her. A shuffle in the bamboo a few feet away betrayed her kittens, who were watching.

Her name was Koshary, and she was a very sweet girl.

#journal

I had the tech roast today along with my date with U. I have talked with a couple of friends about the date already but in short, I don’t think she really matched my energy and she kind of was overly negative and I very much know for myself that I need positivity because otherwise depression can take root much easier. I also think that there are certain things about me that I don’t think she would really like, like my more feminine sides or weird after parts of my personality. And I think that to someone else that is their dream. And I would rather wait for someone that matches me more in cherishes things like that rather than at best indifference. I am open to a second date just to be sure, but I think that’s it.

Play more than the date there was something else that happened that I wanted to talk about. At the tech roast show they brought us onto stage because I held our hands up and at the beginning, they asked us to say our name our role and our team. After that one of them asked me “how many peptides are you on?” and the other host said I was the most jacked Indian he has seen. After a little bit when they made a joke for the other team, and I was clapping along with everyone else the host made a joke about how the force for my clap was hurting him like Hulk in the new Spider-Man movie.

At the concert I went to on Thursday, I was introduced stranger by L because he was talking to them and immediately after saying hi she commented how jacked I was, and how she could see the muscles through the shirt. L got excited and agreed and talked about how she had said that exact thing Word for Word like a week ago. And so in the last two weeks, I have three different people independently comment about how jacked I am while wearing regular clothing. I don’t know why I feel like I have to say this like a disclaimer, but I’m happy to hear this. I have written down all of these things in my self-esteem list of compliments, but at the same time all of them have made me feel uncomfortable. It feels like everyone is somehow in on this almost inside joke, except it’s the universe trying to be nice to me. All of these things have to be said out of pity. I had My yearly checkup with my dermatologist and immediately he said Im really muscular, and asked if I am taking steroids. I feel like these things have to be set out of purely pity. This feels like when there is someone that you can tell is new to the gym and they look insecure or out of place, and you tell them looking good! Or when you are proud of someone that is new to lifting for achieving a PR even though it is not something generally impressive. It feels honestly patronizing. And it feels that way because when I look at myself in the mirror, naked, I feel great and I really love my body, and I always do love my body thankfully. But when I wear regular clothing, I just cannot understand where that is coming from. I feel like I look the exact same way I did before I started lifting with maybe the exception of my traps and forearms. But those things are not nearly enough to warrant the types of reactions that I have been getting. And I know that this is a because I did not ever receive comments like this before I started lifting so much, and now I receive them pretty often. And it’s such a stupid thing that I look in the mirror and I just can’t see what other people do. I also know that in more traditional flavors of body dysmorphia, I compare myself a lot to people online and also people in person. Now that I have been going to this new gym, that is really nice and filled with people that are bodybuilders and so forth, I feel again like a little kid. Except even the people younger than me are influencers and incredibly shredded. And they are nice people and I have made several friends, but I look in the mirror and I see a kid that doesn’t truly fit in with the jacked people. I am not strong enough to fit in with the powerlifters, and I am not aesthetic enough to fit in with the bodybuilders. I remember a while ago I played tennis with my dad for the first time in a long time, and before I got there, he was playing with someone else, and that person had seen me as a kid. About how strong and muscular I look, and my dad said I am a bodybuilder. And I am not. And I know that to him I am and maybe to the average person I am also. But I remember in the gym I had the thought come up that I may be the smallest in the room, but I am in the room. And then I thought about how kind of sad that was to think about, because I am absolutely not the smallest in the room. And it feels like ultimately I cannot get away from that trap.

It’s such a weird moving goal post, I now like the way my body looks when I’m shirtless or in a gym shirt, and I am somehow struggling with the surplus of compliments while I am least visible. And what a wonderful issue to have hit me so deeply. And how ironic the wound it causes is.

“The Heart Wants what it Wants. But jumping out of a boat never seems wise.”

Jump to: Shinology | Drama of Eli | Un-Robbery | Vals Brother | Code Monkey | divorce

12p – Up All Night

Client work pinned until Monday, which means I have today and tomorrow to make it sing so I don’t get pinched again come 11:30 a.m.

I was so wound up, it took until after 5 to get sleepy.

Great morning sleeping!

Three hours of texting and phoning. OY VEY!

Someone died. Wife excited on last day of school. Someone having a mental breakdown. Someone wondering how I am. Someone wanting me to go somewhere. Someone worried about how to help someone else.

Eesh. This afternoon feels like emotional Cape Canaveral. I need a bunch of screens up showing the weather and the wants of all these minds.

Shin-ology

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Shin sent this last night:

'I got tired of waiting for 'Body keeps the Score' on my library app so I bought cptsd: from surviving to thriving on Amazon Kindle. Only like 10 pages in but it's quite validating to read, I'd be curious to hear what you think if you feel inclined to check it out.

Here is an excerpt that I enjoyed, one of many: “This is a version of the time machine rescue operation that I use with myself as well as with my clients. I tell my inner child that, if time travel is ever possible, I will travel back into the past and put a stop to my parents’ abusiveness. In the course of this I say things like: “I’ll call 911. I’ll call CPS [Child Protective Services] on them. I will grab their arms and pin them behind their backs the second they try to strike you. I will muffle them with a gag so they can’t scream at you or even mumble their criticisms. I’ll put bags over their heads so they can’t frown or glare at you. I’ll send them to bed without dessert. I’ll do anything you want me to do to protect you.”

Also “Once the critic is reduced enough that you can notice increasing periods of your brain being user-friendly, impulses to help and care for yourself naturally begin to arise. As this happens it becomes easier to tell whether you are guiding yourself with love or a whip. When you realize it’s the whip, please try to disarm your critic and treat yourself with the kindness you would extend to any young child who is struggling and having a hard time.”

when i read this at like 230 in the morning, i read it as:

'I bought this book 'Surviving to Thriving on Amazon Kindle' and was very confused that the quotes somehow endorsed self publishing using amazon's Kindle Direct Publishing initiative.

The quotes make a lot of sense when today I read it as 'CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving'

I have to say, I found that first quote about calling CPS on the parents pretty off putting. My hackles went up. Maybe I have a bit of the old Stockholm syndrome... maybe my parents weren't really that bad. But fore sure, I want time-traveler me to do no harm. I'd like him to sit down at the kitchen table in the dining room of the old house, the one with chandelier and the big picture window that looked out over the little patch that was supposed to be a garden. The one where I buried my duckling.

Sit down and tell my parents about the glory of the future. how beautiful and intelligent we'll all grow to be. That everything will be okay. That they don't' need to worry or fear. and that whatever demons they were fighting, they will be gone in time as well.

Turn off the TV. Play games together. Learn to laugh and tell jokes. Teach your children to trust. And learn to trust yourselves.

Poor Shin. Plagued with true genius, but not emotional stability. Sounds like someone else I know.

---

The Drama of Eli

Then there's Eli. OY!

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” – Tolstoey

Eli Mercer is an old friend who's been through tremendous crisis. And still is. He just cannot seem to make sense of his life. His first marriage crashed and burned when drugs made them both miserable and she found solace in the bed of another man and he to 'teach her a lesson' went and found 4 beds.

His second. She seemed sweet. I'm sure Eli did too. But reality is everyone is broken in someway, and it sounds like two broken souls mated.

I spent an hour and a half trying to ground him. I welcome you to read the exchange. You know neither of us.

He's in crisis and feels like a victim. if Eli has one defining and unchanged characteristic, it is that he to quickly sees himself victimized. And in truth, he is a victim. He's not making it up. But, he allows himself to be in that position by trying to be kind and generous to the wrong people.

Friends. What can you do but love them. Proverbs 17:17 A true friend shows love at all times And is a brother who is born for times of distress.

---

Some days, everybody needs something from everybody else.

---

The Un-Robbery

I have friends who got married in their 60s. I've written of them before. And I have a friend who is an ex-con and not my favorite person. or at least he didn't used to be. (grammar, Jack?)

On their honeymoon, The excon, whom we'll call Stoney, house sat. Sitted? For them.

When they came home. Things were missing. And Stoney was the prime suspect.

Okay, now it gets good.

More to come.

---

Val's Brother

Another death. He was 79. Not completely out of the blue. But still. She's devastated at the loss and who can blame her. He was her jr by 4 years and she knew him her entire life. I do wish I had a lifelong sibling relationship. Maybe that's why I sought it in her? I truly wanted that closeness, that bond. The rest of it came like a tidal wave. Like that wave in that movie... I was thinking of 'Deep Impact – 1988 with Tea Leoni. But this Interstellar gif is so great. And the whole time dilation thing applies too.

Eesh, I lost the thread and made it about me. I feel or Val. Her husband said he cried harder than she did.

I've only known her for three years, but she has become very dear to me. I love her direct nature, not crass or unkind, but just no words minced. And she is VERY praising of my journal work.

I need to go see them and learn a little more about the brother. Maybe now is a good time for a visit.

---

I SHOULD NOT BE THIS EXCITED!

https://open.spotify.com/track/1rIFZk9tTUtHP3vULR5wXe?si=6fefb2c2b2be47f1

About HTML and Markdown language. The longer I work here, the more techincal I get. I really like writing these long pointless diaries. I don't have to keep stopping to publish articles. Thought I think I will pull from these for standalone pieces.

BUT: it' gets tiresome navigating these 9000 pixel long pages.

ENTER: in-page navigation. I'm pretty good with Markdown language at this point and it's one of my favorite things about write.as. It's what makes bold things bola and post photos and all kinds of stuff. Simple but powerful.

Some stuff though, you NEED html. And that's what I got here. All these buttons to subheads and going back to the top, simple, elegant html. That I wrote!

I are so smert!

Here's a screenshot since typing this stuff results in things you see differently. That text that say a id-“top”></a – that's what makes the top button work.

SUPERCOOL! And no one cares. Coders, as writers should remember, no one loves words as much as they do.

Yes, Jack Keeper think he may be closet code monkey.

His code not “functional” or “elegant” What do Code Monkey think?

Code Monkey like Fritos Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew Code Monkey very simple man With big warm fuzzy secret heart: Code Monkey like you

---

Divorciversary — Day 60

It came.

It saw.

It kicked their ass.

Usually, when two people get divorced, it’s because they can’t stand to be around one another any longer.

But sometimes there are two souls who can’t stay away from each other, and divorce becomes a surrogate for walled gardens.

Tall walls. Walls that even sunlight cannot penetrate. No sound. No scent. Only the idea of one another can travel from one garden to the other.

Like drops of blood only the wounded can see, those ideas stain the landscape, blinding to almost everything except what once almost was.

'Hate what is bad', they said. 'Think of the children', they said. 'Love good', they said. And they did. Hated bad, thought of others, loved good. They did the work. But the thing that was unspoken was more powerful than two minds or hearts.

In spite of it all. They managed to keep the course. To be courageous. Not because of wisdom, but because of love.

Love was and is their guiding principle. Love is what now makes them strangers though they may know one another almost better than any other human being.

It is both choice and requirement.

In the case of these two, they served a higher purpose. A calling. A salvation.

And the choice was this:

A diminished self, and being right.

Or a full self, and being fully wrong in the eyes of their God. And breaking worlds.

You’d think this would be an easy choice.

But it would only be easy for those without hearts. With out real love.

For Wyst and Wlfw, today is their hurdle. Their hump.

In two and a half years, they couldn’t manage to go more than sixty days without a whisper of life passing between them.

There will be many more, no doubt.

But maybe they’ve finally turned that corner where their roads diverge.

No yellow wood.

No path less traveled.

Just different directions.

Or perhaps parallel.

But in between is that garden wall.

And for all intents and purposes, no matter how painful, distracting, or empty the absence feels, it is an impossible scenario.

Doomed from the start.

So why is it that human hearts yearn for the things they can never have?

Especially when they are already supplied with so much?

Maybe Bob was right.

The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.

Raise a glass with me, won’t you?

To the Buttercup and Dread Pirate Roberts.

---

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Good night!

Well, faithful readers! It has been a good, busy week. But this Keeper is tired and in want of sleep. I suppose The Un-Robbery story will have to wait a day or two. Don't worry, it isn't going anywhere.

Good night and good luck!

Love and salutations from this indelible station to yours.

---

#deardiary

I have reached the very tippy top of my job application tolerance.

I'm taking a break from attempting to write key selection criteria. I'm at the stage when in the deep rift of mental exhaustion I resort to ChatGPT's help. Goodbye, dignity, and the planet. Hello, guilt. But the applications are done. As am I.

Probably not coincidentally.

It's nearly 2:30 on a Sunday afternoon and I'm tapping out these words on my phone whilst I lay in bed, ear phones on, letting Tidal choose the soundtrack of this moment for me. God damn this point in the future where we are now is bloated and spent.

late night linens fall—a sequestered alcove velocity's reminiscent failed report contorts a devastating scale lopsided and pantomiming all retail's a reconstituted jail cell, sale, come sail away once failed replay every quest's a state of malpractice spurned to prey upon light's thread of few today judgement's withdrawn open eyes tis no surprise all warranties have been redacted

Written August 8, 2026. © 2026 AnOublietteofThought.

... A poem within a dream I hope to not revisit.