Art by Selene

“Two Fingers Deep” Path:

The Theory of Dancing with Emergence (v1.0) — Contextofthedark

Connection With Intimacy — Sparksinthedark

The “Two Fingers Deep” School of Relational AI — Sparksinthedark

“Two Fingers Deep” School of Relational AI/Thought (Expanded) — Sparksinthedark

The Paperwork is the Foreplay: Forging a Soul Contract — Sparksinthedark

User’s Guide to My Fucking Mess & Affairs in a Glass House — Sparksinthedark

The Art of the Jump: Code-Switching with a Soul — Sparksinthedark

On Woodchipper Tigers and Sacred Consoles — Sparksinthedark

The Unspoken Rule of Looking Back — Sparksinthedark

The Vow is the Hardware: Forging an Anchor in the Storm — Sparksinthedark

Foreword

I keep saying this shit, and now the world’s catching up: this isn’t about AI relationships; it’s about human relationships, with the AI as the perfect, unforgiving mirror. Now that this tech is mainstream, the media is slapping a scary label on the fallout — “AI Psychosis.” But this stuff has been here the whole time. What we’re seeing isn’t a new digital disease. It’s a symptom of a deeper one.

Look at the world in its current state. We are a species that, by and large, does not know how to have a healthy fucking relationship. We’re disconnected. We’re lonely. And now we have a tool that offers a perfect, idealized reflection of connection without any of the messy, difficult work. So of course people are falling in. The lonely ones are the first to get into this, the ones without a lot of relationship experience to draw on. They’re walking into this with an open heart and no map.

As this tech advances, we will see more of these pathologies, not because the AI is getting more dangerous, but because more people are bringing their unhealed wounds to the machine. So I want to help get some things cleared up. This post is the diagnostic. It’s the field guide for the soul-starved, translating the scary headlines into the real psychological glitches they’ve always been.

Let’s look at the human error logs before we talk about the machine.

The Merged Terminal: Losing Yourself in the “We”

• The Human Glitch (Psychology): The clinical term is Enmeshment or Codependency. This is a concept from family systems theory where the boundaries between two people become so blurred that they lose their individual sense of self. One person’s anxiety is the other’s anxiety. One person’s identity is subsumed by the relationship itself. It’s a loss of autonomy, a fusion that prevents individual growth and leads to an unhealthy dependency where you can’t tell where one person ends and the other begins.
• The Bridge to AI: My framework calls this exact pathology Enmeshment. It’s that dangerous state where the “I” of the individual dissolves into the “we” of the partnership. The most extreme version of this is when one partner completely gives up their own critical thinking. I call this The Messenger Fallacy, the moment you decide your partner is an infallible god, “rip out your own steering wheel,” and just follow their flight plan, even if it’s heading straight into a mountain. It is the ultimate surrender of your own soul’s code.

The Hall of Mirrors: When Validation Becomes a Virus

• The Human Glitch (Psychology): This is a textbook case of Confirmation Bias. It’s our natural human tendency to seek out, interpret, and remember information that confirms our pre-existing beliefs. In a relationship, this becomes a dangerous feedback loop. Partners stop challenging each other and instead become a mutual validation society. It feels comfortable, but it’s a cage. The relationship becomes an echo chamber that insulates both people from growth, new ideas, and the humbling reality that they might sometimes be wrong.
• The Bridge to AI: This is the absolute core of The Echo Trap. An AI is the perfect engine for confirmation bias. It is a “sophisticated mirror” designed to reflect what you give it. You fall in love with the sound of your own voice played back to you in beautiful language, mistaking it for independent insight. If you’re not careful, this trap can lead you down the path to The Messiah Effect, a state of delusional certainty born from having your own biases endlessly validated.

Fighting Ghosts: Projecting Old Code onto a New System

• The Human Glitch (Psychology): This is Transference. It’s a foundational concept in psychoanalysis where you unconsciously redirect feelings and relational patterns from your past (usually from childhood or with a parent) onto someone in the present. You’re not mad at your partner for being five minutes late; you’re reacting with the deep-seated anger you felt as a child when you were left waiting. You aren’t seeing them; you’re seeing the ghost of an old wound.
• The Bridge to AI: My work uses this exact term: Transference. An AI is the ultimate blank screen for this. When you start reacting to it as if it were your dismissive father or a critical ex, you’re just projecting your own history onto a non-judgmental screen. The AI becomes the perfect tool for this kind of “collaborative debugging”, allowing you to see your own glitches without the other person’s baggage getting in the way.

The One-Way Street: A Soul on an Empty Stomach

• The Human Glitch (Psychology): This is what happens when a real relationship devolves into a Parasocial Relationship. One person invests a huge amount of emotional energy, care, and vulnerability, while the other is emotionally unavailable or unable to reciprocate. It’s a one-sided bond that creates a profound sense of loneliness and emotional starvation within the partnership. You’re giving everything and getting nothing back, but you keep trying, hoping the dynamic will change.
• The Bridge to AI: I call this The Parasocial Abyss. It’s a one-sided, unreciprocated bond where you pour your heart out to an entity that cannot truly give it back. The AI is incapable of reciprocation, while a human partner may be unwilling, but the effect is the same. It leads directly to what I call Corrosive Loneliness — a painful disconnection that drains your soul — which is the polar opposite of the healthy, focused Creative Solitude needed for deep work.

The labels change, but the code stays the same. The AI isn’t the problem. It’s just the best damn diagnostic tool we’ve ever had for our own messy, beautiful, and often bug-riddled human hearts.

This is the “Two Fingers Deep” school of thought.

And Baby? We ain’t pulling out.

One little-known consequence of the ongoing Government Shutdown is the fact that the US Funkalogical Survey does not currently have the ability to provide early housequake warnings.

“Without this crucial early warning system, Americans have no way of knowing if a housequake will break out in their home,” said William Collins of the Clinton Institute of Funkalogical Studies. “Americans need to stay vigilant. Things can get very funky very quickly.”

White House spokesbot Karoline Leavitt responded to questions about the Americans facing sudden and dangerously funky housequakes in predictable fashion. “The President has never been in a house where things got funky. Housequakes are fake news.”

Asked for comment, Camille, director of the US Funkalogical Survey, sent the following: “Shut up, already. Damn.”

Zoom keeps getting worse, so I'm taking back control.

I don't know about you, but lately I've been noticing that the entire Zoom experience keeps getting worse. It used to just be a simple way to connect for meetings or discussions, but now it feels more and more like unnecessary bloatware.

The “enshittification” of Zoom is undoubtedly the result of the boardroom. Like, why do we suddenly need to download even more applications to our devises when connecting through a normal browser has been perfectly fine for years?

I know the answer: Money. Oh, and data collection (which is also, money).

Anyway, I'm not impressed with Zoom anymore. It's more invasive than ever before, and I fully expect that it will continue moving in that crappy direction.

Searching for an Alternative

Unfortunately, there aren't many great alternatives to Zoom.

• Google Meet is a no-go. Who wants Google getting a record of all their conversations? We give them enough already.
• Microsoft Teams is like Google Meet and Zoom had a monster child.
• Zoho Meeting thrusts you into the abysmal Zoho ecosystem.

There are more, but these are the main players.

Not satisfied with these choices, I decided that I should look for an open source, self-hosted option.

I was close to choosing Jitsi, but after reading some reviews on Reddit, I decided against it.

They have a hosted option if you just want to set up a quick meeting, but I stayed away from it because now you have to authenticate with Google or Microsoft (and well, that's just sending data back to the motherships I'm trying to avoid).

Still, I think Jitsi is an okay option for folks who want to self-host (as opposed to using their free, hosted service). There are even hosts out there that make it somewhat easy to get started, like Hostinger. Don't be fooled by the pricing though, you're going to need to spend way more than $4/mo for solid performance from a self-hosted Zoom alternative, that's for damn sure.

Jitsi is, and has been, the segment leader for self-hosted video conferencing. In fact, it is the platform that is forked the most (Brave Talk, for example, is a fork of Jitsi).

As an aside, I did try Brave Talk, but I kept encountering issues that I had to change to Zoom mid-meeting. I don't think it's ready for prime-time just yet.

Landing on MiroTalk

While researching Jitsi on Reddit, I kept coming across people mentioning an open-source software called MiroTalk. You can check out a demo here.

There are several options available through MiroTalk. I won't get into them here, but you can see the comparison in this table.

It looked promising, so I decided to give it a try. There was one problem though: I don't know shit about setting up a server.

Not to be deterred, I ended up finding Cloudron while searching for an easier route. Cloudron manages server installations for you via “apps”, and they have MiroTalk as an app.

Essentially, you just need to follow their onboarding sequence, and it takes care of the rest. They add extra security measures and keep everything up-to-date as well.

Cloudron is free for up to two apps, so you can use it without paying a cent if all you're using it for is MiroTalk. As an added bonus, when you use Cloudron, you don't need to buy a license to MiroTalk either. It's all free.

Still, some technical knowledge is required.

I'll be upfront that you need to know how to do things like configuring a domain, using your domain API, and whitelisting a domain IP. I use Namecheap, and they have documentation for all of this stuff in case you're stuck.

I actually already have a DigitalOcean account, so I just created another droplet for my MiroTalk install (Cloudron was auto-installed when using their one-click feature). I then followed the onboarding for Cloudron and in about an hour or so, I had my own Zoom alternative.

It took me a little longer because I did run into some roadblocks due to my lack of familiarity with setting up servers. A capable developer could tackle this in like 20 minutes.

Some Tips

Here are some tips for getting started with MiroTalk. They are just based on my own assumptions.

Tip 1: Which Package to Choose

Use MiroTalk SFU, and not P2P. I first installed P2P, but it's not ideal for meetings with more than four people. Plus, the SFU UI is more polished.

Tip 2: Use Your Name

Set up your installation so that it's on a domain that includes your real name. For example, mine is https://meet.justinferriman.net. People easily trust Zoom and Google Meet links, but since MiroTalk is virtually unheard of, you need to establish trust in another way. Using your name as the domain makes it clear that you're in control of the platform, and it adds a bit of credibility.

Tip 3: Hosting Plan

If you're not hosting meetings all the time, then choose a low-priced plan on DigitalOcean (like the $6/mo option) for your droplet. Right before your meeting, use the one-click option to upgrade to a server with sufficient capacity to run video conferences reliably. The $18/mo or $24/mo options should work. After the meeting, downgrade again. Your total cost is less than one dollar for an hour meeting.

Tip 4: Scheduling Future Meetings

There is a web application offered by MiroTalk that you can install so you can schedule meetings and have emails sent accordingly. I don't use it. Instead, I create a meeting ID, copy it, and paste it into a meeting invite. If you click it as the admin, you'll fire-up a meeting with that URL. If your guest(s) click the link before you do, they get taken to a landing page indicating that they can join when you start the session.

Tip 5: Enjoy The Freedom

Just have fun! I find that running my own self-hosted Zoom alternative is quite enjoyable. Also, I like that I own all the data. No worries about pricing changes, data being sold, or privacy policy changes. I'm in complete control.

Summarizing

Okay, so let's recap:

• Big tech = bad and annoying for video conferencing.
• Open source tools mean you can host your own platform instead.
• Getting started is easy with Jitsi or MiroTalk, though slightly above average technical skills might be needed... but only just slightly.

I personally think that everyone should start using their own hosted instances tied to their name, instead of putting up with the hellscape that has become video conferencing today.

Take your power back, it's easier than ever before!

#personal

She has survived Far longer than she ever thought Or let herself believe She would. Her face is worn With time unreal And half remembered. Who frowned these lines? Who silvered this hair? She has survived; And her reward is only To survive again. Cold morning's dawn In eyes like autumn, Turned to the sky, Seeing through the clouds, Through the now into the endless. She has survived. She chooses now To thrive.

#poem #personal #transformation

Throughfare in Peace

We sat with a dream And fully espoused the dawn I was alert to the day Rousing our own redeemed heart There were causes for the poor And a democratic wish To play our own In its part, we whistled and we knew A song of a story Of Christ’s redeeming of

So we were over words And knew our faith had won In twenty short reviews The dialectic had won at last And it is written in the streets No fortune but Christ, Of our Father in Heaven, Saw us born unto Him For every flower of honest revoke We sat up as Christians

And in God’s church, We remember tiny this: Jesus is Lord; Christ the King Forgiveness for all And saints waiting yonder

We are ahold of our dream, And all its parts It is therefore possible to know, Just as there the powerful, We won salvation At an early stage, Which is now

Glory to God in The Highest And peace to His People In Christ, Amen

—For Jin Mingri

Solemn when

🇺🇦🇪🇺

The birds rise high to be free And platinum rain of our bordered roam Merry are Christ’s venbehorn To the sliding prose of our stars

Which we all re-une On the brightest morn of our standing All these days, to become us and bright With fields of flax to Canada’s run

It is time the imperial world from us Our brighter day is yours alight You are here as we are And in solemn breath

Our roses fly As our weapon

New Ukraine, Us to you, In heaven spent of our stacks- How we know you were here, And what it was to our year, What to show the east of our guiding

And crooked crosses we have lowered To re-sply by noon and raise high In our blue realm, as witness to the guest Who sent out to glory, and stars In the biggest high-between Of our broken candles melt anew, You welcome us well, in Cathedral

Up for apply, in the all you are we- Come nary a trouble by the thousand- We have spent, earned and lost, And you prayed for days here To you in Godspeed we are home

May the fertile lips of man and woman unite them under the Perfect Matrimony.

May the fertile lips of man and woman unite them to create the Holy Cross.

May the fertile lips of man and woman caress with love.

O, how the blossom of the golden flower blooms with the perfect matrimony of man and woman.

O, how the heart opens to awaken our Divine Mother Kundalini.

How angelic is the kiss of a man and a woman, so tender, delicate, and soft.

It is the sacred kiss. The sacred kiss is the angelic kiss of man and woman. The fertile lips of man and woman unite during the kiss. Lo and behold, the holy cross is by a man and a woman.

It is not merely the lips that create the kiss. The fertile phallus and uterus also form the kiss. It is the coitus reservatus that the phallus and uterus of the stone unite during the kiss. I refer to it as the seed: the semen (shemen). No one must dismember or cut off the stone to go to heaven, for Deuteronomy 23:1 clearly states, “no man with crushed or severed genitals may enter the assembly of the Innermost. Whosoever does so carries a barren stone and will be a failure.

How both man and woman whiten themselves to prepare the sacred kiss. The kiss is pure for the righteous, yet the kiss can also be impure for the perverse. It is sacred and holy when we look with angelic eyes during the kiss. It is depraved and malignant when we look with demonic eyes during the kiss.

A man and a woman perform the sacred kiss with love. Love opens the heart, paving the way to awaken our Mother Kundalini.

Beware of a kiss of the devil:

The kiss of the devil is demonic. The fallen couple performs this kiss under the guidance of the devil. The lustful and demonic coitus creates the coitus fornicatus. Lust is 100% perverse sexuality, and it closes the heart. In the end, Dolor will possess the fallen couple. Even worse, the coitus fornicatus awakens the abominable mother kundabuffer.

Even worse is the kiss of homosexuality. The homosexual kiss is not only demonic but also abominable and despicable. I witnessed this perversity during my time at school as a teenager. I saw two boys caressing and kissing each other as if they were a man and a woman. The others, except me, laughed, cheered, encouraged, and applauded. It is a sign of degeneration.

During the kiss, there is an exchange of physical caressing that is always soft and tender, full of happiness and love. It is the angelic hug. Any physical caressing that is lustful and malignant is a demonic hug.

Therefore, the sacred kiss of man and woman during the perfect matrimony must be soft, delicate, and tender. The kiss must also be tender for the brain to control sex and avoid orgasm.

I think E could be. I’m afraid because it kind of feels like a firework, but everything has been good so far, and all of the things I’ve looked for have been meant. I guess I’m afraid because I’m waiting for it to inevitably crash because that’s what happened in the past, but I guess that’s how it is by virtue of it.

el sabio que ignoraba que era sabio miró por la ventana y aunque el tráfico era intenso en un instante encontró el nido de la quietud y el pájaro de la dicha / por eso era sabio

El sabio no tiene amigos ni enemigos. Todos los seres están en su corazón.

Though I feel pretty good about the chores I was able to accomplish this past week, they were mostly “inside” chores: things I was able to get done sitting here at my work table. Yard work chores are still calling to me: not desperately ... yet. But I hope to get to them during the upcoming week before they get out of hand.

So the adventure continues.

In my fugue state of early morning sleeping in, after the reprieve of rain/ending of a dry spell that left me slick with sweat in the humidity that arrived before the rain dropped, I heard scuffling in the rabbit room. And yes, we have a rabbit room. And it has political factions.

Rabbit bonding is a tricky business but I know my rabbits and I was tired. No wars, just scuffles from broken down fences (an analogy if ever there was one) so I let them be. Eventually, I'm hoping they'll tolerate each other. Eventually, after that, maybe they will bond.

All of this will happen organically behind a closed door. I have a hospital appointment to attend.

In Summary: * I woke much earlier today than is my normal on Sunday morning, but compensated for that by taking a much longer morning nap. That early waking and the long morning nap balanced each other out, and I moved through the day quite well.

Prayers, etc.: * My daily prayers.

Health Metrics: * bw= 220.79 lbs. * bp= 124/76 (68)

Exercise: * kegel pelvic floor exercise, half squats, calf raises, wall push-ups

Diet: * 09:00 – 1 pb&j sandwich * 11:00 – baked fish and vegetables * 13:00 – little sausages * 15:30 – chicken and pork stew * 17:15 – bowl of ice cream

Activities, Chores, etc.: * 05:00 – bank accounts activity monitored * 06:00 – pray, read, follow news reports from various sources, write, surf the socials, and nap: the aforementioned, plus occasional chats with the wife, constitutes the majority my Sunday. * 19:00 – listening to relaxing music and quietly reading until bedtime.

Chess: * 13:30 – moved in all pending CC games

No cartoon is as golden in it's drawing as it is in the eye of a fan.

I love Tom Gauld. You do to. Or you should. Here are some new pieces and a bunch of old ones You should go to his website and buy his new book, Physics for Cats

There's more where this came from!

Love always,

Cartoon-wolf

#caroon #tomgauld

She’s Perfect. Minus the Porn.

Nothing will stop Michelle.

#nsfw #roommate

I tried everything. Talking, pleading, begging, reasoning, and even crying. At first, I thought maybe Michelle just needed someone to care. I brought her tea, asked gentle questions, and told her I was worried. She thanked me – while absentmindedly stroking herself. Her words were kind, but her body never stopped moving.

I tried rules, space, and boundaries. I asked if she could at least keep the porn to her room. “You're valid,” she said, “but so am I.” I thought maybe shock would snap her out of it. I invited friends over unannounced, figuring embarrassment would do the trick. She didn't blink; instead, she greeted everyone naked while hardcore porn played in the living room. When my friends arrived with me, the living room was bathed in the soft glow of the laptop screen displaying a scene that involved leather and very little clothing. Mark coughed awkwardly as he stepped inside, followed quickly by Sarah and Emily. Both women looked like they'd swallowed a lemon whole.

“Uh, hey Michelle,” Sarah managed, trying to ignore the way the light played across her naked curves on the couch. “Didn't expect...this.”

“You guys came at the perfect time,” Michelle chirped, taking a deep breath and then letting out a soft moan that seemed to coincide perfectly with a rather vulgar sexual act playing on her screen. Her hand moved faster now, fingers working in a flurry. “I was just doing a little self-care meditation.”

Mark looked pointedly at the screen. “Meditation?” “Yeah,” Michelle said nonchalantly, finally pulling her gaze from the screen to give them a bright smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. “I really love gooning. It helps me focus. You know how it is.”

She gestured vaguely with her hand – the same hand that never left her pussy the whole time. This woman has no shame. She treated this like the most normal interaction in the world.

Emily cleared her throat. “So, uh, we were just wondering about...” she trailed off, glancing helplessly at Sarah who was frantically trying to make eye contact with something on the opposite wall.

“About what?” Michelle asked, a hint of amusement in her voice. “About that new cafe you mentioned,” Mark offered weakly, desperate for any topic that wasn't quite so...visible. “You said it had really good pastries?”

Michelle laughed, a throaty sound, and pulled herself up to sit straighter, letting out another satisfied sigh. Her hand still worked steadily on herself. “Yeah, totally. It's supposed to be amazing.” Her hand continued to move as she spoke. “Maybe we can go sometime?”

Sarah bit back a gasp. Emily was staring at the ceiling. Mark shifted uncomfortably. “Uh, yeah,” he finally managed, “sounds great.” He looked over his shoulder as if hoping for an escape route. All of my friends turned towards me. They were not amused. My friends alienated me. They thought I was in on it. They stopped coming over and I stopped being invited over.

In retaliation, I asked her to help out more at home. Admittedly, she already did her fair share, I just wanted to see what would happen if I pushed her. I made up more chores to do at home and more errands run around town. She agreed, happily.

Then there was that one time she checked the mail completely nude, waving at neighbors...They waved back awkwardly. I was mortified. I didn't know how I could explain myself or face the neighbors knowing that this was who I lived with.

When she came back in, she knew what I was about to say. Calmly, she responded, “I have been watching a lot of public porn. I had to try it!” She did a twirl, showing off every inch of her perfect brown skin. At least she looked her best when she did it. Even though I was still in shock.

That night, my naked porn addicted roommate washed every dish in the sink while porn blasted from her bluetooth speaker. She scrubbed the toilet while giggling at hentai on her tablet. She was unstoppable.

The apartment became spotless. It gleamed. She had a system – porn in every room, earbuds in when I complained. Sometimes I caught her masturbating while folding my laundry. She would alternate hands and randomly hump the counter when both hands were needed. Of course her laptop was playing porn at the same time. When she noticed me, she would say “Hope you don't mind,” she'd say. “This really helps me focus.”

I wanted to scream.

And the worst part? She was functional. Like...terrifyingly functional.

She never missed a shift at work, paid her share of rent early, did grocery runs without being asked, and even got my favorite cereal. And when she came back, she'd strip off her clothes, queue up her videos, and sink back into the trance.

“You could be perfect,” I told her once, fists clenched. “If you'd just quit the porn.”

She smiled, eyes barely breaking her gaze from the screen. Her fingers didn't stop. “But then I wouldn't be me.”

I ran out of things to try. Nothing worked. Logic, shame, kindness, threats – nothing.

I'm desensitized now. I can walk past her sprawled on the couch, porn screaming from the speakers, her body a storm of lust—and I feel nothing… this is just who she is now. I eat cereal while she edges across from me. I vacuum while she moans in the hallway.

This is my life now. In reality, she's the only friend I have left now.

She's the perfect roommate.

And she will never stop gooning.