E-commerce is growing exponentially. I frequently see overnight successes of such companies through viral marketing; globalization and software have made it trivial for someone to open a store and saturate a product.

I spent about 1000 USD with 300 annual recurring costs (which I eventually stopped) selling on Shopify with ads on Facebook Ads, earning about 200 annually in revenue. I also had some other experiments with trying to move bulk on Amazon and trying to set up some ads on Tiktok. I lost money, and I consider this as just education fees.

I have another product on an unmentioned platform, with about 1000-3000 in annual revenue, netting half of that as profit (this online store is ongoing).

Here are some things learned:

• All businesses are just trying to answer one question: “How do I get someone to give me money?” I’m very logical, so I have always thought the answer to that question was the exchange of utility. However, I have learned that in markets where there is a general surplus, the choices we make are often emotional.
• Everything we buy is a choice, and almost everything we buy is due to interruption marketing. Large aggregators of data make extremely accurate guesses on what we might like, and money is spent so we make decisions we might not otherwise have made.
• A good market fit means you’ll pay less to get someone to buy something. A good brand or story means you can get someone to pay more to buy something.

It was kind of costly to run these experiments but it’s educational to see the systems that sellers use. What surprised me the most in all of this was that a disproportionate amount of money is spent on acquisition (and not on the actual product). A pair of shoes can cost $100 on a shelf but can only cost $10 to make. With future advances in automation, AI content, and consumer data collection, it can cost even less.

#002254 – 31 de Julho de 2025

Não é que um artista tenha de ser miserável para produzir arte que valha a pena. Mas é a dor que assinala o lugar onde se abriu um fosso interior que a felicidade se encarrega de preencher. Dito de outra forma, a sombra assinala os contornos da luz. Ou ainda: a gratidão germina melhor na saciedade. E as flores mais resistentes são as do deserto.

Our Father Who art in heaven Hallowed be Thy name Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily Bread And forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil

Amen

Jesus is Lord! Come Lord Jesus!

Come Lord Jesus! Christ is Lord!

To Roads of November

If we were as fortunate, dawn And off to Wales in highest PPV Nothing but a good Heaven breaking the sea It was all too tall to remember If I were the cherished one in prison Seemed like needles paid perdition There were only words for the bent of my esteem Early wars alight for no-more day A splintering of a man of one ear Barely Paris for timekeeping November There were shots at Fordham that just now would not disappear And what to our vision was so long, ago But maybe ways of gladly handing- The beginnings of best time And a Sunday morning practice Three whimpers from the door And an upstanding paper man Every thing is now and here Death and fortune, disappear The hurried cattle of Sussex, then no more The yesteryear was still but gone I then all things to believe The prison Brampton bear And a folly to forget And one way to unsay- Never again, It was the war, Against our own And only silent few Who were decked out on day one For the first throw at the sky above- Units of gold And erring forces do not know Why they are unforgiven Sent away and made for carry On a single line of one It was harbouring nine one And a path that none may marry But the land that had it all And my force is due all alone And I lived for profanity and time Promising each new day But of now Harris of gold And I do not stand corrected But by this sad and lonely line For ever weaving forth in time It was an honour to unfold An extra helpful year And it was hers On days of ire And the stop of respect And a warning to males now Promise to keep the golden hour Of the flame that would not keep For the living lawn that stands Even forward for itself- For all of this Earth’s women

Parenting is never just about teaching kids—it’s about being taught, reshaped, and humbled every single day. That’s the heart of this incredible conversation between comedian Josh Blue and motivational host Douglas Vandergraph, a talk that blends humor, honesty, and hope into one unforgettable reflection on life and love.

👉 Watch Josh Blue’s powerful interview on YouTube — the full conversation that inspired this article.

In this video, Josh opens up about the joys and challenges of raising children while balancing the unpredictable life of a touring comedian. He shares stories that will make you laugh out loud, moments that will move you to tears, and truths that speak directly to every dreamer trying to do life with purpose.

This isn’t just an interview. It’s a window into how fatherhood shapes us—how love matures us—and how vulnerability becomes our greatest strength.

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Who Is Josh Blue—and Why His Story Resonates So Deeply

Josh Blue burst onto the national scene after winning Last Comic Standing Season 4, instantly winning hearts with his sharp wit and fearless self-deprecating humour. Living with cerebral palsy, he’s spent years transforming personal adversity into art, laughter, and connection.

What makes Josh unique isn’t just his comedy—it’s his authenticity. He never hides behind the stage persona. He laughs about his physical limitations, but he also redefines what limitation even means. His message? That we all have something that makes us different, but those differences can become the very tools that connect us.

In conversation with Douglas Vandergraph, he takes that philosophy one step further—into the realm of parenting. He explains how fatherhood forced him to slow down, listen, and learn patience from the small voices in his life. He shares that the role of “Dad” has stretched him more than any career challenge ever could.

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The Moment Fatherhood Changes Everything

When Josh describes the moment he first held his child, you can sense the seismic shift that happens inside every new parent. “Nothing prepares you for that,” he says, smiling through the memory. “It’s like your heart is walking around outside your body.”

Parenthood reframes success. Suddenly, fame, money, and applause matter less than bedtime stories and scraped knees. Josh admits that being a comedian gave him control over his own story—but being a father forced him to surrender that control.

This surrender, he says, is the beginning of real growth. Douglas Vandergraph guides him deeper, asking what lessons he’s learned through the messiness of parenting. Josh’s answer is universal:

“You can’t fake being present. Your kids know when you’re really there—and when you’re not.”

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Lesson 1 – Presence Over Perfection

In a world obsessed with getting everything “right,” Josh reminds us that presence always outweighs perfection. Children don’t remember the perfect vacation or the polished speech—they remember your eyes when you listen, your laughter when they tell a silly story, and your arms when life feels too heavy.

Psychologists back this up. Studies show that emotional presence—attunement, empathy, and eye contact—builds secure attachment and lifelong confidence (Harvard Center on the Developing Child, 2022). Josh lives that truth daily, choosing connection over image.

He recalls making breakfast in the chaos of spilled cereal and mismatched socks. “Those moments,” he laughs, “are where love hides—in the mess.”

For parents reading this: don’t chase perfection. Chase moments. Your children will never need a flawless parent. They need a faithful one.

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Lesson 2 – Humour Heals What Pressure Breaks

Josh’s comedy has always been a tool for healing. Through laughter, he transforms pain into perspective. In fatherhood, that gift becomes even more vital.

He jokes about parenting “fails”—like realizing your child has outsmarted you, or that bedtime negotiations feel like hostage situations. But beneath the humour is profound wisdom: laughter creates connection.

According to the American Psychological Association, humour strengthens relationships, reduces stress, and increases resilience in families (APA Monitor, 2021). Josh lives by this. When a day goes wrong, he doesn’t hide it; he reframes it with humour so his kids learn joy in imperfection.

Douglas Vandergraph calls this “holy laughter”—the sacred ability to find grace in chaos. Their conversation reminds us that laughter is not denial—it’s defiance. It’s hope wearing a smile.

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Lesson 3 – Vulnerability Is the Strongest Thing You Can Model

Josh admits that, for years, he equated strength with independence. But fatherhood taught him the opposite. “My kids don’t need a superhero,” he says. “They need a dad who says, ‘I’m scared too—but I’m here.’”

This mirrors what Brené Brown calls “courage through vulnerability.” Research shows that when parents express authentic emotions, children learn empathy and emotional regulation (Brown, 2012, Daring Greatly).

In the interview, Josh opens up about teaching his children to face challenges head-on. Whether it’s explaining his cerebral palsy or answering tough questions about why people stare, he chooses honesty over avoidance.

That’s the mark of a true leader: someone who transforms weakness into wisdom.

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Lesson 4 – Love Redefines Purpose

Douglas Vandergraph asks Josh what “leading with love” means to him. The question lands deeply.

Josh reflects: “Love means showing up even when it’s inconvenient. It means forgiving faster than you want to. It means making room for the mess—and still smiling through it.”

That philosophy resonates with faith traditions worldwide. In Christianity, love is the greatest commandment (Matthew 22:37-39). In psychology, it’s the highest motivator for behaviour change (Maslow Hierarchy, 1943). For Josh, it’s both theology and therapy.

Love, he says, redefines purpose. Once you become a parent, every dream expands beyond self. Success isn’t measured by applause but by the echoes of laughter in the next room.

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Lesson 5 – Balancing Dreams and Duty

One of the most relatable parts of the interview is when Josh discusses the tension between creative ambition and family responsibility. Touring, writing, performing—it’s a demanding life. “But you can’t let your dreams die,” he insists. “You just learn to dream differently.”

He explains that fatherhood didn’t shrink his ambition; it focused it. Instead of chasing every gig, he began choosing opportunities that aligned with his values. The result? Less burnout, more joy.

Douglas connects this to his own mission of purpose-driven living—reminding viewers that success is hollow if it costs you your family.

This is a wake-up call to modern parents hustling nonstop: Achievement that isolates isn’t success—it’s surrender.

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Lesson 6 – What Children Teach Adults About Grace

Throughout the interview, Josh returns to one recurring theme: children are our teachers.

When his kids forgive him quickly after he loses patience, it reminds him of divine grace. When they laugh at mistakes, he remembers humility. When they ask impossible questions, he’s reminded that curiosity is sacred.

This mirrors research by Dr. Carol Dweck on the growth mindset—the belief that abilities grow through effort and openness (Dweck, Stanford University, 2015). Kids embody that mindset naturally. Josh’s role as a father is to nurture it—not crush it.

Douglas Vandergraph often says: “Children aren’t interruptions to greatness—they’re invitations to it.” This conversation brings that truth to life.

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The Ripple Effect: How Fatherhood Transforms the World

Beyond the home, the lessons of fatherhood ripple outward. Compassion learned in the living room becomes kindness in public. Patience learned during homework becomes empathy for strangers.

Sociologists note that involved fathers improve child outcomes across education, behaviour, and mental health (U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, 2020). But Josh Blue’s take is more poetic:

“If every dad just loved his kids well, we’d fix half the world’s problems overnight.”

It’s funny because it’s true. Parenting, at its best, is activism in its most intimate form.

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Faith, Failure, and Fatherhood

Although the conversation is rooted in everyday life, faith flows quietly underneath it. Douglas Vandergraph guides Josh into exploring gratitude, prayer, and surrender—not in a preachy way, but through lived experience.

Josh admits that fatherhood has deepened his spirituality. “You realize how small you are and how big love really is,” he says. “That’s faith to me—believing that love will cover the gaps.”

For many viewers, this is the heart of the interview: faith isn’t about rules; it’s about relationship—between parent and child, creator and creation, human and divine.

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Lesson 7 – Forgiveness Keeps Families Whole

Every parent fails. Every comedian bombs. Every human stumbles. But what keeps Josh grounded is forgiveness—both giving it and receiving it.

He laughs, “My kids forgive me faster than I forgive myself.”

Psychologists describe this as self-compassion, a core factor in resilience (Neff, University of Texas, 2011). Without it, shame grows. With it, families heal.

Douglas adds that forgiveness isn’t weakness—it’s strength disguised as humility. Together, they remind us that families aren’t perfect; they’re practice grounds for grace.

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Lesson 8 – Purpose Doesn’t Retire: It Evolves

As the interview closes, Josh speaks about legacy. “I don’t want my kids to remember me as the guy who was always gone. I want them to remember me as the guy who showed up, who listened, who made them laugh.”

Douglas nods. “That’s the real definition of purpose.”

It’s a reminder that calling isn’t static. It changes with seasons. What was once about personal success becomes about impact. And when love drives that transition, everything aligns.

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Why This Interview Is So Important Right Now

We live in an era of disconnected families and digital distractions. Studies show that American parents spend less quality time with their children than previous generations (Pew Research Center, 2023). Burnout is common. Anxiety is rising.

This interview arrives as a cultural antidote. It’s a reminder that laughter, love, and presence are still the most powerful medicines we have.

Whether you’re a parent, mentor, leader, or believer, you’ll walk away feeling both lighter and braver. Because Josh and Douglas don’t just talk about growth—they model it.

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Take These 5 Steps After Watching

1. Watch Intentionally — Don’t multitask. Sit down, play the interview, and let it speak.

2. Reflect Personally — What moment resonated most? Journal it.

3. Reconnect Relationally — Call someone you love and tell them you appreciate them.

4. Respond Practically — Make one change: more listening, less judging.

5. Repeat Consistently — Transformation happens one day at a time.

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Final Reflection: The Comedy of Becoming

The interview leaves you smiling, but also reflecting. Maybe that’s the secret of Josh Blue’s gift: he sneaks truth in through laughter.

Parenthood, like stand-up, is unscripted. You’ll bomb. You’ll forget lines. But if you stay on stage—if you stay present—you’ll discover that grace is the best punchline of all.

Douglas Vandergraph sums it up perfectly near the end:

“Every laugh, every mistake, every hug—it’s all sacred ground.”

When the video fades to black, you realize: fatherhood isn’t just about raising children. It’s about raising yourself—into a fuller, more loving, more authentic human being.

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Where to Go from Here

If you need a shot of laughter, truth, and hope, start here: 👉 Watch the full Josh Blue interview on YouTube

And if it moves you, share it. Tell a parent who needs encouragement. Post it in a group chat. Start a conversation about what real love looks like in a modern world.

Because the more we talk about presence, vulnerability, and love—the more the world changes.

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Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s inspiring faith-based videos on YouTube.

Support this ministry on Buy Me a Coffee

#JoshBlue #DouglasVandergraph #Fatherhood #Parenting #FaithAndFamily #HumourHeals #LeadWithLove #PurposeDrivenLife #ChristianMotivation #Inspiration

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Warmly, Douglas Vandergraph

#002253 – 30 de Julho de 2025

O Gerês é tão perto. Estou sempre à beira de um mergulho verde, em sanidade e floresta. Que felicidade esta coincidência geográfica e os amigos que me acompanham e desafiam em caminhadas na serra.

#002252 – 29 de Julho de 2025

Graças a uma amiga querida, descobri não só o talento do Nerve como as suas Purgas e um renovado interesse em escrever poesia. A vida surpreende-me sempre, no que é novo mas também no que se reinventa.

#002251 – 28 de Julho de 2025

Gosto de juntar filmes dois a dois, imaginando uma sessão dupla em que cada um informa, acrescenta, interroga o outro. Como “The Architect” e “The Kitchen”, ambos de 2023; ou o o “Frankenstein” do Del Toro e o “Poor Things” do Lanthimos. Há também, descobri recentemente, livros que apetece ler aos pares. É o caso de “O Futuro ja não é o que nunca foi”, do Francisco Louçã e de “After the Future” de Franco “Bifo” Berardi.

'Dad's heart stopped after I said amen to a prayer'

At 11:44am Sunday November 9, 2025, the Conductor took his last breath. My friend, a minister of the Bible, watched his father pass away even as he said a benediction for him. It is heartbreaking and beautiful.

It was a 3 month long journey that resulted in the Conductor laying in a hospital bed for more than 30 days all told over the course of the illness.

I read recently that none of us truly become men until our fathers die. Dubious logic, but absolutely beautiful poetry. And in the generations of today, losing our fathers may be the thing that is needed to trigger the metamorphosis of maturity.

It is a hard passage if it's true. I think I'd prefer to be Peter Pan if it is.

The Conductor and his family have been in and around my life since childhood. His widow, the Queen of Swords, is among my closest friends. He was a vaguer component for decades but in the last 10 years has emerged as a clear cheerleader for this wolf, often telling me how much he appreciated everything I've done for and with his family.

He was a weird guy. One of our friends describes meeting him 30 years ago in a suit with no socks or shoes. Probably about the best and most succinct way of understanding this complex creature.

He was gone a lot from his family. Conductors have to conduct (trains as well as symphonies) and his route kept him on the road for days at a time. It provided a good living for his family, but the absence took it's toll emotionally.

I don't' think it was the job so much as it was the baggage of his life, but he struggled with addiction for decades before finally kicking the heavy stuff. Though he was hooked on tobacco until things got serious for him about 3 months ago.

He had a sister who struggled emotionally too. She passed away a few years ago from heart failure. The same thing that killed her brother. His sons are now rightly worried about their own life-pumps.

As I have watched him over my life, I have seen the Conductor through the eyes of his sons and wife, all close friends. They always hoped better for him and honored him as best they could in their own flawed ways. But he could never measure up to the standard the Bible holds out to those who hope for the approval of Jesus and His father.

And so I did, as righteous men often do, judge him. Inferior, broken, needing to change. But, in all the years I knew him, he remained absolutely confident that he would have a place in God's kingdom. As a man myself who feels unworthy of that role, I always found it eyebrow raising.

He would need to change this and that in order to yadda yadda. It's a life-long mantra of the Bible-thumper. In recent years, I've started to change my understanding and softened a lot. On others as well as myself—well somedays I'm less soft on myself, but trying. And I've started to see that there are good-hearted humans who just cannot meet that standard. Something in them is broken beyond repair and they are doing the best they can.

We all have demons. Some of us are better at cowing them than others.

Some of us have to hide under the bed, or behind a haze of chemical stupor in order to function. It isn't fair to say 'you aren't good enough' if you're doing the best you can. I think the Conductor was. I think I am.

Sometimes all you can do is limp through life.

In the end, he was a kind man, a good man—if flawed. In truth, I've known many 'better' men from a righteousness point of view who didn't have half the kindness or thoughtfulness. Maybe that's why we discuss Jesus we focus not on his righteousness, which no man could match, but rather, his goodness.

He was a guidepost. A point of consistency on the landscape of my existence that's gone now. It will be far worse for his wife and his sons, but the loss of that waypoint will effect us all.

It's terrible and sad. Another loss in a long line that will just continue until the Wolf breathes his last breath. And that's not the scary part; the last breath. The scary part is all the unknown between today and that moment.

Death is only a problem for the living.

Good night, Conductor. I'll keep waiting faithfully for my own line. I'll wait as best I can. Broken, tired and unworthy. Thank you for showing me that it's less about what others think of you and more about being honest with yourself. It's a weight I am still learning to carry.

Just like all of us.

Love always,

Charlie.

#death #memorial #essay #writing #100daystooffset

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Apostle Paul | Saul of Tarsus | faith transformation | Christian motivation | God’s purpose

When we hear the name Paul the Apostle (formerly Saul of Tarsus), what often stands out is not just his missionary journeys nor his epistles — but the extraordinary turnaround of his life. In this blog post, we will dive deeply into how God used the most unlikely vessel to carry the Gospel, how that transformation can illuminate your own journey, and how you can embrace the same power of redemption, grace, and purpose that changed Paul’s world.

And if you’d like to engage with the full video message that inspired this article, watch this link: How God turned the worst man into His greatest warrior.

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1. Saul of Tarsus: The Man Who Thought He Was Right — But Was Lost

Before the journey of transformation began, Saul of Tarsus stands out as a figure of fierce zeal, religious accomplishment, and moral certainty. According to the New Testament, Saul was a Pharisee, trained under Gamaliel, holding the credentials to enforce Torah observance — yet in his zeal he persecuted the early church. Bible Study Tools+2Wikipedia+2 Acts 9:1–2 tells us:

“Meanwhile Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked for letters to Damascus…” Bible Gateway

In other words, Saul believed he was aligning with God’s will — but he was spiritually blind to truth. Biblical scholar James Dunn observes that Saul’s persecution of early Christians was “beyond measure.” Bible Study Tools

Key take-aways for you today:

• The person who appears most certain can still be the one furthest from life.
• A background of religious activity or strong moral conviction does not automatically equal Christ-centered living.
• If God is to use you radically, He often begins in your place of greatest confidence.

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2. The Road to Damascus: Divine Interruption and the Birth of a New Mission

The turning point in Paul’s life is the famous event on the road to Damascus. Without this divine encounter, Saul the persecutor would never become Paul the apostle. As one summary says: “No fall so deep that grace cannot descend to it … no height so lofty that grace cannot lift the sinner to it.” Wikipedia+1

In Acts 9:3–6 we read:

“As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice: ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?’ ‘Who are you, Lord?’ he asked. ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ he replied.” Bible Gateway

This wasn’t simply a conversion experience — it was a metanoia (a total change of mind), a death to the old self and a resurrection to a new identity in Christ. The moment disrupted Saul’s plans, his purpose, and his identity. Theologian Billy Graham described it:

“The road to Damascus sent his life in the opposite direction. That’s what Christ does: He finds us in our brokenness and transforms us to be completely different people.” Billy Graham Evangelistic Association

What does this mean for you?

• Your greatest interruption may be God’s invitation to your new mission.
• The past does not disqualify you—it may prepare you.
• When you meet Christ, everything changes: identity, trajectory and legacy.

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3. The Name Change: Saul Becomes Paul— A Symbol of New Purpose

In the early days of the church, names signified identity and mission. Saul, the Hebrew name meaning “asked for,” gave way to Paul (Latin Paulus) meaning “small” or “humble.” This shift marks more than a linguistic variation—it signals a spiritual re-orientation. Wikipedia

Paul himself acknowledges that his past achievements meant nothing compared to knowing Christ (Philippians 3:8). The change of name reflects the change of heart and calling: from self-justified zeal to Christ-justified service.

Implications for you:

• A new name (new identity) is often linked to a new mission—embrace who God now says you are.
• Let go of your prior self-image built on performance, and step into your new self built on grace.
• Your true name is not what the world calls you—it is what God calls you.

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4. From Prisoner to Preacher: Paul’s Mission and Ministries

What’s most remarkable about Paul’s life is how he didn’t simply trade his past for comfort—he traded his past for purpose. He went from confining believers to being confined for the Gospel. He moved from denying Christ to declaring Him. His life trajectory turned upside down, but his focus remained single: to make Jesus known.

In Acts 9:20 we read:

“At once he began to preach in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God.” Bible Gateway

Paul’s ministry included:

• Founding churches across the Roman Empire
• Writing epistles that became foundational to Christian doctrine
• Persevering through hardship, including beatings, imprisonments, shipwrecks, and hunger

His suffering was not a detour—it was a doorway. His chains became his pulpit; his trials became his testimony.

Application for your life:

• Your past failures, your current problems—God can use them.
• Instead of hiding a scar, allow God to display it so others may see His power.
• Your mission may cost you—but it will also define you.

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5. Grace That Redeems: Your Past Is Not Your Punishment

One of the most freeing lessons from Paul’s life is the magnitude of grace. Grace doesn’t cover your past—it redeems it. In Paul’s own words:

“By the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me was not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15:10)

The fact that God could use a persecutor like Paul reinforces a universal truth: No one is beyond the reach of God. Wikipedia+1

For you:

• Stop believing your past mistakes disqualify you—let them qualify you for greater purpose.
• Grace is not a second chance—it’s a new start.
• When you surrender to Christ, the worst thing you did becomes the platform for His best.

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6. Surrendering Your Control: Real Strength Comes from Letting Go

Paul’s transformation wasn’t just about what he gained—it was about what he gave up. He surrendered his plans, his prestige, his power. He said in Philippians 3:8:

“I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”

In a culture of “taking control,” Paul’s story reminds us that the ultimate control lies in yielding to Christ. Surrender doesn’t signify defeat—it signifies something greater: obedience.

Practical steps for you:

• Ask God: “What do You want me to let go of today?”
• Recognize that your comfort zone may be a barrier, not a blessing.
• Live daily with the posture: “Not my plan, Lord—but Yours.”

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7. Endurance Under Fire: The Faith That Doesn’t Quit

Paul endured tremendous hardship. In 2 Corinthians 11:24–27, he lists many of his trials:

“Five times I received forty lashes minus one, three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I was adrift at sea…”

Yet from prison he wrote the words:

“I have learned to be content in whatever state I am…” (Philippians 4:11)

He understood that pain wasn’t punishment—it was preparation. He didn’t ask if hardship would come; he asked how he would respond when it did.

Your takeaway:

• When your faith is tested, it’s not wasted—it’s refined.
• The storms you face may be the sky clearing—not the ship sinking.
• Keep going—even when “why” is unanswered—because faith is faith not when it’s comfortable, but when it’s courageous.

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8. Living with Mission, Not for Applause

Paul never lived for applause. He lived for the Author of his purpose. He declared:

“If I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for necessity is laid upon me…” (1 Corinthians 9:16)

His primary concern was not what others thought—but what God knew. He set an example of unwavering mission over fleeting popularity.

For you:

• Seek faithfulness, not fame.
• Be willing to serve where you’re unseen, because God always sees.
• Let your legacy be the lives you touched, rather than the likes you collected.

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9. A Legacy That Still Speaks

Though Paul died almost two thousand years ago, his influence lives on. His epistles shape Christian theology. His life challenges complacency. His redemption story inspires millions.

Art, literature and culture still reference Paul's conversion on the road to Damascus. Wikipedia You may not write an epistle yourself—but every time you choose grace, every time you step into purpose, you contribute to a legacy of hope.

Consider this:

• Your most significant legacy may not be what you build—but what God builds through you.
• When you live surrendered and bold, you become part of a story that outlasts you.

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10. How to Embrace the Paul-Principles in Your Life

Here are actionable steps, inspired by Paul, for deeper spiritual impact:

1. Acknowledge your past—but don’t live in it.

2. Accept God’s interrupting grace.

3. Embrace your new identity in Christ.

4. Surrender your agenda for God’s.

5. Accept hardship as a step, not a stoppage.

6. Live for mission, not applause.

7. Trust your legacy to God’s power.

8. Declare daily: “Not my strength, but Yours.”

9. Let your scars point to your Savior.

10. Move forward: you’re not the same, and you don’t have to be.

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11. Real-Life Stories of Transformation

In modern ministry, countless believers echo Paul’s turnaround. Consider the man or woman who once walked in shame, addiction, or guilt—and now leads others in light. As one Christian ministry puts it:

“Paul’s life shows us that experiencing Christ changes everything about us, down to our deepest desires.” Billy Graham Evangelistic Association

These aren’t just stories—they’re proof that transformation is possible today.

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12. Why This Matters for You Right Now

The Gospel is not an old story—it’s your story. You may be reading this with fear, regret, or doubt. But God doesn’t just want to forgive you—He wants to use you. Paul once said:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7)

That statement wasn’t about victory in comfort—it was victory in the midst of the fight. Your mission matters. Your life has purpose. Your story is still being written.

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13. Closing Thoughts

If God could turn a persecutor into a preacher, He can turn your brokenness into a breakthrough. If God could place Paul in the center of His plan, He can place you. Your past is not punishment. It’s part of your platform. Your pain is not the end. It’s the entrance to your purpose. Let the story of the Apostle Paul not only inspire you—but transform you.

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Prayer

Heavenly Father, Thank You for the example of Paul: a man who met You, surrendered to You and surrendered for You. Transform our hearts as You transformed his. Turn our weakness into Your strength, our regret into testimony, our past into a pulpit. Use our lives to reveal Your grace in a world that needs it. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Douglas Vandergraph

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#ApostlePaul #Faith #ChristianMotivation #Transformation #Grace #JesusChrist #BibleStory #Purpose #Redemption #SpiritualGrowth #ChristianInspiration #GodsPlan #Hope #Encouragement #Believe #ChristianLife #FaithOverFear #BibleStudy #ChristianFaith #HolySpirit

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Link QA

• YouTube Channel – Douglas Vandergraph
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Love is timeless, as are its letters

Upon my bed during the nights, I sought the one I love. I sought him, but I did not find him.

I will arise and roam the city; in the streets and in the public squares, let me seek the one I love. I sought him, but I did not find him.

The watchmen making their rounds in the city found me. “Have you seen the one I love?”

Scarcely had I passed by them when I found the one I love. I held on to him, I would not let him go until I brought him into my mother’s house, into the interior room of her who conceived me.

I put you under oath, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and the does of the field: do not try to awaken or arouse love in me until it feels inclined.

What is this coming up from the wilderness like columns of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all the fragrant powders of a merchant?

Look! It is the couch belonging to Solomon. Sixty mighty men surround it, of the mighty men of Israel— all of them armed with a sword, all trained in warfare, each with his sword at his side to guard against the terrors of the night.

It is the royal litter of King Solomon that he made for himself from the trees of Lebanon. Its pillars he made of silver, its supports of gold. Its seat is of purple wool; its interior was lovingly decorated by the daughters of Jerusalem.

Go out, O daughters of Zion, gaze at King Solomon wearing the wedding crown his mother made for him on the day of his marriage, on the day of his heart’s rejoicing.

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Look! You are beautiful, my beloved. Look! You are beautiful. Your eyes are those of doves behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats streaming down the mountains of Gilead.

Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn sheep that have come up from being washed, all of them bearing twins, and not one has lost her young.

Your lips are like a scarlet thread, and your speech is delightful. Like a segment of pomegranate are your cheeks behind your veil.

Your neck is like the tower of David, built with courses of stone, upon which are hung a thousand shields, all the circular shields of the mighty men.

Your two breasts are like two fawns, the twins of a gazelle, that feed among the lilies.

Until the day grows breezy and the shadows flee, I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of frankincense.

You are altogether beautiful, my beloved, there is no blemish in you.

Come with me from Lebanon, my bride, come with me from Lebanon. Descend from the peak of Amanah, from the peak of Senir, the peak of Hermon, from the lairs of lions, from the mountains of leopards.

You have captured my heart, my sister, my bride, you have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one pendant of your necklace.

How beautiful your expressions of affection are, my sister, my bride! Your expressions of affection are far better than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice.

Your lips, my bride, drip with comb honey. Honey and milk are under your tongue, and the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.

My sister, my bride, is like a locked garden, a locked garden, a spring sealed shut.

Your shoots are a paradise of pomegranates with the choicest fruits, with henna along with spikenard plants, spikenard and saffron, cane and cinnamon, with all sorts of trees of frankincense, myrrh, and aloes, along with all the finest perfumes.

You are a garden spring, a well of fresh water, and flowing streams from Lebanon.

Awake, O north wind; come in, O south wind. Breathe upon my garden. Let its fragrance spread.

Let my dear one come into his garden and eat its choicest fruits.

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I have entered my garden, O my sister, my bride. I have picked my myrrh and my spice. I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey; I have drunk my wine and my milk.

Eat, dear friends! Drink and become intoxicated with expressions of affection!

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I am asleep, but my heart is awake. There is the sound of my dear one knocking!

“Open to me, O my sister, my beloved, my dove, my flawless one! For my head is wet with dew, the locks of my hair with the moisture of the night.”

I have taken off my robe. Must I put it back on? I have washed my feet. Must I soil them again?

My dear one withdrew his hand from the hole of the door, and my feelings for him were stirred. I got up to open to my dear one; my hands dripped with myrrh, and my fingers with liquid myrrh, onto the handles of the lock.

I opened to my dear one, but my dear one had turned away, he had gone. I felt despair when he departed. I sought him, but I did not find him. I called him, but he did not answer me.

The watchmen making their rounds in the city found me. They struck me, they wounded me. The watchmen of the walls took my shawl away from me.

I put you under oath, O daughters of Jerusalem: if you find my dear one, tell him that I am lovesick.

“How is your dear one better than any other dear one, you most beautiful of women? How is your dear one better than any other dear one, that you put us under such an oath?”

“My dear one is dazzling and ruddy; he stands out among ten thousand. His head is gold, the finest gold. The locks of his hair are like waving palm fronds as black as the raven.

His eyes are like doves by streams of water, bathing themselves in milk, sitting by a brimming pool.

His cheeks are like a bed of spices, mounds of scented herbs. His lips are lilies, dripping with liquid myrrh.

His hands are cylinders of gold, set with chrysolite. His abdomen is polished ivory covered with sapphires. His legs are pillars of marble set on pedestals of the finest gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, as unrivaled as the cedars.

His mouth is sweetness itself, and everything about him is desirable. This is my dear one, this is my beloved, O daughters of Jerusalem.”

sentía cierta atracción por la idea aunque sospechaba que en la realidad las cosas serían un poco distintas / más bien radicalmente distintas como el que busca un diamante y encuentra eso que estás pensando

The road to hell ain't nothin' compared to the road for a flight delayed.

✈️

Hell is a closed jetway, after circling the world.

Heaven is Radiohead — Madrid, in the round — served neat, with very strong pours.

Between the auditory flight and Egyptian cotton’s hush —

we are all Atlas in our liminal slouch, bearing the weight of a thousand miles.

Home so near we can taste it. So close — but too far away.

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A companion to Tire Shop Pergatory

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#essay #100daystooffset #writing #sxs #travel

God repay the conscience-less engineers  
For the pure sweet hearts with which they gamble  
Seek not their greed which monetizes fears  
And goads minds like picadores goad bulls.  
They don't seem to stop and wonder "Should I,"  
Unless the "should" could threaten the bottom line,  
Until that line becomes their only why  
And they call conscience just a Luddite whine.  
Oh, how easy, on them, to pin the blame.  
For they would not be "they" without users  
So vulnerable to weaponized shame  
And words from anonymous accusers.  
	They could not act so low were we not vain,  
	Don't let them choose what is true, what is sane.

— My 4th Sonnet

If you follow the blog you might have noticed that I published this sonnet by itself. I think I will do that with other original poetry so that it is not just scattered across these updates. You might see some other sonnets on here.

Writing

Writing is going about as well as it can. I get stuck and push through and get stuck and push through again. I think it is not terrible but I am also not sure if it is great. It is hard to tell in the drafting stage. This one is like stumbling through a jungle for me. But it is fun at times. The hardest thing is staying motivated to do it during my free time between the stresses of life and parenthood.

Music

I have been taking a break from guitar because I want my damn wrist to heal all the way. It has been difficult, because guitar is a creative outlet. I have certainly idolized it recently, but it has been a challenge to reorient myself. I think I will eventually be a better musician for it, and I think it is good to take breaks, since becoming too familiar can sometimes lead you to make ends of your means. But I will be happy when I can play again.

Reading

According to my Bookwyrm (Goodreads but not owned by Amazon), I read The Jungle and Hamlet. You can read my full reviews over there if you like. I will not say much about The Jungle except that it was painful but I am glad I read it. The bleak, relentless forces of greed and ambition that literally grind human beings into sausages in the book were uncomfortably familiar, if less extreme now (but not by a comforting margin). I did not find the solution that Sinclair pushes at the end very convincing, but I do agree that we will always have to fight for fairness and justice. We don't get to choose our political or social moment, but we do get to choose how we respond to it.

Hamlet was Hamlet. If you speak English you owe it to yourself to read it at least once, or go see it, or both. I highly recommend the Folger's Library Editions for the explanatory notes they include:

"Who would fardels* bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action."

*Fardels = burdens

— The “To be or not to be” Soliloquoy

Listening

I did a free month of Qobuz so I could listen to some albums that some friends recommended. I still rip CDs and buy digital files to download, which might seem rather old fashioned, but if owning my own music and not being beholden to a corporation for the art I love is old fashioned then that's fine with me. I completely understand the convenience and freedom that Spotify offers, but I'd rather buy one album I love and fully support an artist than listen to a thousand things and give the songs that really mean something to me less than a cent for my listens. No corporation has any meaningful motivation to serve the well-being of its consumers besides conscience, and conscience has proven to be less effective at scale than the bottom line. And if you limit yourself to buying one album (or renting from the library) per month it pays for itself, though it is less convenient.

Since it is Native American Heritage Month I highly recommend listening to Woman in Color by Raye Zaragosa. It is one of my favorite albums ever, and it is really a healing experience to listen to. She manages to approach the pain of her past and present with honesty and hope, and a little punk energy, and her voice is really very lovely and unique. Highlights for me include “They Say,” “The It Girl,” “Change Your Name,” and “Ghosts of Houston Street.” She also has a Tiny Desk Concert that is great.

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Thank you for reading! I greatly regret that I will most likely never be able to meet you in person and shake your hand, but perhaps we can virtually shake hands via my newsletter, social media, or a cup of coffee sent over the wire. They are poor substitutes, but they can be a real grace in this intractable world.

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Send me a kind word or a cup of coffee:

Buy Me a Coffee | Listen to My Music | Listen to My Podcast | Follow Me on Mastodon | Read With Me on Bookwyrm

I often wonder why so many of us look with disdain instead of compassion on the most vulnerable among us. Food, clothing, and shelter are among the most basic necessities for the survival of any human being in this world. Yet, in a country as rich as ours, these necessities are increasingly out of reach for the most vulnerable Americans. And too often, they are met not with mercy, but with a particular brand of social stigma and cruelty hiding behind the idea of ‘merit’ that effectively kicks the needy when they’re already down.

The idea of the undeserving poor has been around for a long time. Ronald Reagan famously warned us all back in 1976 about hordes of ‘welfare queens’ living a carefree existence off of the backs of the American taxpayer. Twenty years later, Republican president Bill Clinton signed the ‘Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act’ into law in 1996, enacting work requirements upon welfare programs – even for single mothers without access to adequate and affordable childcare. Despite Reagan’s welfare queens being soundly debunked (fraud among welfare recipients is less than two percent), the mythology of the grifting poor remains.

Of course there will always be those who try to exploit the system, but do they make up the majority of people needing help? It may come as a surprise for many to learn that the majority of SNAP (food stamp) benefit recipients are employed. They have jobs. Why are they receiving public assistance? Because even though fully employed, wages still fall far enough below the poverty threshold to qualify for public assistance. Walmart even goes so far as to assist employees with applying for this assistance – while making $680 billion last year, a 5% increase over the previous year. There are undeserving fraudsters here, but they aren’t the ones applying for public assistance.

As I write this, America has just suffered the longest government shutdown in our nation’s history. Low-income Americans were held for ransom by this Republican-controlled government, their SNAP benefits being halted. Eight Democrats sided with Republicans to end the shutdown, ending low-cost health insurance for vulnerable citizens, instead. And the narrative from the right continues to push the same tired, old stereotype from the Reagan years: Poor people are just lazy, and looking for handouts. Social media continues to be rife with ridicule and contempt for the people struggling most in an increasingly difficult economy. The lack of human decency and compassion is staggering.

It does not diminish us, as human beings, to help those who need it. One can question their morals, their choices, their dress or their lifestyle all one wants, but at the end of the day, they are still human beings in need of help. Helping them makes you a better person, and better people are what we desperately need in these uncertain times.