There are chapters in Scripture that feel like a gentle hand on your shoulder, inviting you into comfort, mercy, or encouragement.

Then there are chapters that feel like a mirror.

Romans 2 is not a whisper. It is not a pat on the back. It is not the soft dawn after a dark night.

Romans 2 is a courtroom. Quiet. Honest. Unavoidable.

And the Judge is not God thundering from the heavens. The Judge is God speaking to your conscience.

It is the chapter where excuses come to die and truth comes to live. It is the place where God says, “I see the real you. And I still want you.”

Romans 2 isn’t about shame. It’s about truth. And truth is the beginning of healing. Truth is where transformation starts. Truth is where God rewrites stories.

1. The Chapter Nobody Escapes

Romans 2 is Paul stepping into the religious mind and saying something they didn’t expect:

“You are just as accountable as the people you judge.”

It’s easy to think Romans 1 is about “everyone else.” But Romans 2 is about us.

It is about the person who thinks they “know” God. It is about the person who feels morally grounded. It is about the person who can point to Scripture, quote verses, recall doctrine, or list out all the things they “don’t do.”

Romans 2 confronts the mentality of:

“I’m not perfect… …but at least I’m not as bad as them.”

But comparison is not righteousness. And judgment is not holiness.

Romans 2 pulls back every layer we hide behind and reveals the heart God is truly after.

Not the polished image. Not the impressive résumé. Not the religious exterior.

God wants the inside—the motives, the thoughts, the intentions, the real spiritual pulse beneath the surface of our lives.

This chapter levels the ground beneath every human foot. No one stands tall here. Not the Gentile. Not the Jew. Not the sinner. Not the religious elite.

Romans 2 says one thing clearly:

We are all accountable to the truth we’ve been given.

2. When Judgment Boomerangs

Romans 2 starts with one of the most piercing truths in all of Scripture:

“Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges; for in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself.”

Not because judgment is always wrong… …but because judgment usually reveals the very sin we hide.

We judge what we fear in ourselves. We judge what we secretly battle. We judge what we have not surrendered to God.

It is a spiritual boomerang.

Romans 2 exposes the psychology of hypocrisy:

• We condemn others to avoid confronting ourselves. • We highlight their failures to avoid admitting our own. • We magnify their mistakes because it minimizes ours. • We use judgment as a shield instead of confession as a doorway.

Romans 2 tears that shield down.

It does not do this to humiliate us. It does it to free us.

Because the moment we stop hiding behind judgment… …God can finally heal what we’ve been avoiding.

Judgment is a poor substitute for transformation. And Romans 2 won’t let us settle for it.

3. God’s Kindness Isn’t Weakness — It’s Strategy

One of the most beautiful, misunderstood verses in Romans sits right in the middle of this confrontation:

“Do you not realize that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?”

People misinterpret God’s patience. They assume silence means approval. They assume delay means permission. They assume grace means casualness.

But God’s patience is not passive. It is purposeful.

It is not softness. It is strategy. It is not weakness. It is rescue.

God gives us space not because sin is small, but because His mercy is big.

He waits because He loves. He waits because He knows we cannot change overnight. He waits because He is building the bridge from who we think we are to who He already knows we can become.

Romans 2 reveals a God who does not want to scare you into repentance but draw you into it.

Not through threats. Through kindness.

Not through terror. Through truth.

Not through shame. Through love.

If you ever wondered whether God is done with you… Romans 2 whispers:

“He’s been giving you time…because He wants you home.”

4. The Hidden Law in the Heart

One of the most profound insights of Romans 2 is Paul’s revelation that God’s law isn’t confined to tablets of stone.

It is written inside people.

Long before someone reads Scripture, something in them knows:

• Justice matters • Love is holy • Wrong cannot be excused • Truth should guide us • Cruelty is evil • Mercy is right • Life has meaning • God exists

Romans 2 calls this “the law written on the heart.”

This means:

You were born with a compass. Not a perfect one—but a real one. That inner voice urging you toward what is right? That is not culture. That is not upbringing. That is not guilt.

It is God. He signed the inside of your soul.

Paul says your thoughts—your own thoughts—alternate between accusing you and defending you.

When no one sees… when no one evaluates… when no one knows…

…your conscience speaks.

Romans 2 explains why:

Because God designed the human heart to respond to truth.

Because truth is not external—it is internal.

Because you were created to sense the Divine.

Even if you’ve never read Scripture…

Your spirit already knows you were made by Someone. And you were made for Someone.

5. The Illusion of Superiority Shatters Here

Romans 2 exposes every way human beings try to build their own righteousness:

• “I know the Bible.” • “I believe in God.” • “I’m moral.” • “I’m religious.” • “I live clean.” • “I don’t do what others do.” • “I’m a Christian, so I’m good.”

But Romans 2 says:

Knowledge isn’t righteousness. Religion isn’t holiness. Being informed isn’t being transformed.

God does not evaluate your life based on what you know. He evaluates it based on what you do with what you know.

The Jews had the law. They had the history. They had the covenant. They had the rituals. They had the lineage.

But Paul says—even with all that—

If your heart doesn’t reflect God, the law you study cannot save you.

Many people today carry a false sense of spiritual confidence because they grew up in church, or they “know about God,” or they’ve memorized Scripture, or they self-identify as Christian.

But Romans 2 reminds us:

God isn’t looking for people who know the truth— He’s looking for people who live it.

It is possible to admire Scripture but never obey it.

It is possible to praise God but never surrender to Him.

It is possible to look holy but be spiritually hollow.

Romans 2 dismantles every illusion that pretends to be righteousness.

6. God Sees What Others Can’t

Romans 2:16 says:

“God will judge the secrets of men.”

Secrets. The things you hide. The thoughts you never confess. The motives no one sees. The desires you don’t talk about. The wounds you never shared. The sins you think you buried.

God sees all of it.

But here is the miracle:

He sees your secrets not to destroy you, but to heal you.

Every secret is an unhealed place. Every hidden sin is an untreated wound. Every concealed fear is an unspoken plea for help.

God reveals what we hide so He can restore what we hide.

People judge what you have done. God heals why you did it.

People judge the fruit. God heals the root.

Romans 2 isn’t God pointing a finger at you. It’s God pointing you toward freedom.

Because you cannot heal what you refuse to face. And you will never face what you insist on hiding.

7. Hypocrisy — The Sin That Blinds the Soul

Romans 2 confronts the most dangerous spiritual condition: hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy is not failing. Everyone fails.

Hypocrisy is pretending. And pretending is poison.

It kills marriages. It kills families. It kills communities. It kills ministries. It kills authenticity. It kills faith. It kills transformation.

Hypocrisy is spiritual self-deception. We lie to ourselves about who we are so we never have to change.

But Romans 2 cuts through the pretending.

It says:

You who preach honesty—do you lie? You who condemn sin—do you hide your own? You who teach truth—do you live it?

God does not condemn you for struggling. He condemns pretense that keeps you from healing.

If Romans 2 wounds you, it’s only because God is cutting out the infection.

This chapter is not meant to humiliate you. It is meant to liberate you.

Because when the hypocrisy dies, the real you can finally breathe.

8. Real Circumcision Happens Inside

Romans 2 ends with one of the most revolutionary statements Paul ever wrote:

“A real Jew is one inwardly… circumcision is of the heart… by the Spirit.”

In other words:

The true people of God are not defined by rituals, but by rebirth.

Not by outward signs, but by inward transformation.

Not by religious marks, but by spiritual change.

God does not want your performance—He wants your heart. He does not want your religion—He wants your surrender. He does not want your ritual—He wants your transformation.

This means:

You are not defined by where you grew up. You are not defined by what you know. You are not defined by what you did. You are not defined by your past religious life.

You are defined by who you are becoming in Christ.

Romans 2 is your invitation to move from the outside to the inside.

From knowing about God to walking with Him.

From performance to authenticity.

From pretending to transformation.

From religion to rebirth.

9. What Romans 2 Really Wants From You

Romans 2 isn’t about fear. It’s about honesty.

It isn’t about condemnation. It’s about revelation.

It isn’t about humiliation. It’s about transformation.

This chapter calls you to:

• Stop hiding • Stop pretending • Stop comparing • Stop excusing • Stop self-justifying • Stop performing • Stop accusing others • Stop minimizing your own need for grace

And start:

• Letting God tell the truth about you • Letting conviction awaken you • Letting mercy draw you • Letting humility guide you • Letting surrender reshape you • Letting transformation begin

Romans 2 is not a spiritual attack—it is a spiritual rescue.

It pulls you away from the cliff of self-righteousness and leads you back into the arms of grace.

It dismantles your excuses so God can finally rebuild your soul.

It confronts you so God can restore you.

10. The Heart God Is Building in You

After walking through Romans 2, something shifts in the reader who truly hears it.

You begin to desire a different kind of life.

A life where truth matters more than image. A life where humility matters more than winning. A life where transformation matters more than performance. A life where surrender matters more than control. A life where mercy matters more than judgment. A life where authenticity matters more than appearance.

You begin to crave a heart that is real. Soft. Teachable. Pure. Surrendered. Alive.

You begin to long for the kind of spiritual integrity Romans 2 describes:

• Not perfect • Not God-impressive • Not outwardly impressive • Not self-righteous • Not image-driven • Not fearful • Not hypocritical

But humble. Honest. Awake. Transforming. Growing. Surrendered. Free.

Romans 2 doesn’t make you feel “better than others.” It makes you feel known by God.

And loved anyway.

11. The Courage to Face Yourself

Romans 2 gives you a rare opportunity:

To finally face the real you.

Not the you people see. Not the you you market. Not the you you pretend to be. Not the you shaped by fear. Not the you curated for approval.

The real you.

The one God formed in the womb. The one Jesus died for. The one the Spirit calls forward every day of your life.

This chapter is an inner reckoning— but it’s also an inner awakening.

When you face yourself honestly, you discover that God has been waiting in that place all along.

Not with anger— with mercy.

Not with rejection— with healing.

Not with punishment— with transformation.

Not with shame— with love.

12. The Conclusion: God Sees, God Knows, God Heals

Romans 2 teaches one of the most important truths of the Christian life:

You do not have to hide from God to be loved by God. You have to come to God to be healed by Him.

You can let go of:

• the pretending • the fear • the judgment • the comparison • the excuses • the spiritual mask • the shame • the performance • the image • the self-protection

And you can step into the freedom Romans 2 offers:

The freedom of being fully known and still fully loved.

The freedom of letting God deal with your secrets so they no longer control your life.

The freedom of humility that transforms you instead of hypocrisy that destroys you.

The freedom of finally being real with God so God can be real with you.

Romans 2 prepares the heart for Romans 3. It prepares the mind for Romans 4. It prepares the spirit for Romans 5. It prepares the soul for Romans 8— the crescendo of the gospel.

But first it prepares you to tell the truth.

Because only honest hearts can be healed. And only healed hearts can become holy. And only holy hearts can reflect Christ.

Romans 2 is not the chapter where God calls you out.

It is the chapter where God calls you back.

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— Douglas Vandergraph

#faith #Christian #BibleStudy #Romans2 #Jesus #Grace #SpiritualGrowth #Hope #Encouragement #Inspiration

Nominate your ideal dinner companion. This could be someone from the past or a contemporary, alive or dead, but who has an established reputation. What about this person’s reputation has impressed you?

I would like to sit down with Sylvia Plath and talk about the richness of her imagery and the breadth of her reading. Her writing, poetry as well as her journals, is full of obscure references and associations. I may have been too shy, but I would have liked to ask her how much her marriage to Ted Hughes bled through into her poems. In her journals, she described intense anxiety explained by Hughes as paranoia, which in retrospect seems to have been a cruel act of gaslighting. Sylvia Plath is almost entirely defined by The Bell Jar and her eventual suicide, but her journal reveals an intelligent person who thought deeply about the world and her place in it. Perhaps if we had had dinner she could have told me about the journals her husband destroyed after her death.

in 2024, the Shrine of Chandavila in Spain, where two girls claimed to have seen apparitions of Our Lady of Sorrows, was approved by the Vatican as a location for Catholic worship (Brockhaus, 2024). While the Vatican recognised the shrine’s importance, it did not address the visions, revealing a tension between Catholic doctrine and everyday expression of faith.

The Catholic News Agency—an organisation devoted to promoting ‘the Dogmas, Rules and Regulations of the church’ (Eternal Word Television Network, n.d.)—quoted the ‘nihil obstat’ judgment issued by the Vatican as saying that the shrine may ‘continue to offer to the faithful . . . a place of interior peace, consolation, and conversion’ (Cardinal Víctor Manuel Fernández quoted in Brockhaus, 2024). The girls are portrayed as virtuous, dedicating themselves to charity. A ‘nihil obstat’ judgement is an endorsement of the positive impact on the faithful, without authenticating any supernatural phenomena, which seems to reflect a tendency of the Vatican to encourage devotion while maintaining control over claims of divine intervention.

According to the Catholic doctrine of the Virgin Birth, Mary is honoured as the obedient mother of Jesus, chosen to bear God’s son. In Catholic art she is often depicted in imperial blue robes. The imagery of splendour, and her indifference to it, reinforce her purity and elevate her above humanity (Sinclair, 2019, p. 69). Blessed to bear a child without sin, she is the ideal the faithful should strive to emulate. In popular Marian devotion, however, Mary takes on a different character—an understanding Mary who suffers with her followers. She endured the pain of childbirth and her son’s death, an image central to Marian shrines and apparitions (Sinclair, 2019, p. 86-87). The power popular faith has attributed to Mary—as a divine being who can touch the world—is in stark contrast to the passive role assigned to her in the official canon.

When the Vatican approved the Shrine of Chandavila for worship in 2024, Cardinal Fernández remarked that ‘[t]here is nothing one can object to in this beautiful devotion’ (Brockhaus, 2024). By describing the pilgrims’ experiences as subjective, and stressing the girls’ virtue, the Vatican shifted the focus away from supernatural intervention. The girls’ experiences were re-contextualised in the light of how, they for the rest of their lives, sought to emulate the celestial Mary. A more overt example of the regulation of popular devotion to Mary can be seen in a 2025 article in the Catholic News Agency. Hannah Brockhaus reported that the Vatican put to rest a decades-long debate about Mary’s role in the redemption of humanity. The title ‘Co-Redemptrix,’ used in some denominations, was rejected as inappropriate (Brockhaus, 2025). Cardinal Víctor Manuel Fernández is quoted as saying, ‘’[t]his text . . . aims to deepen the proper foundations of Marian devotion by specifying Mary’s place in her relationship with believers in light of the mystery of Christ . . .’ This statement shows how the Vatican reasserts Christ’s role while defining boundaries for Marian veneration.

Lived religion sometimes reevaluates and supplants established religious dogma. Within the Catholic faith, Marian devotion has morphed beyond the role defined for Mary in the Bible and by the Vatican. The Vatican’s careful endorsement of the Shrine of Chandavila shows it deliberately interpreting spontaneous spirituality under official canon, while downplaying its more independent claims.

References Brockhaus, H. (2024) ‘Vatican approves devotion to 1945 apparition of Our Lady of Sorrows in Spain’, Catholic News Agency, 23 August. Available at: https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/258883/vatican-approves-devotion-to-1945-apparition-of-our-lady-of-sorrows-in-spain (Accessed: 9 November 2025). Eternal Word Television Network (n.d.) Press Room: Our Mission. Available at: https://www.ewtn.com/pressroom (Accessed: 9 November 2025). Sinclair, S (2019) ‘Mary, the mother of Jesus’, in The Open University (ed.), Reputations, The Open University, pp. 45-106. Brockhaus, H. (2025) ‘Vatican nixes use of ‘Co-Redemptrix’ as title for Mary’, Catholic News Agency, 4 November. Available at: https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/267563/vatican-nixes-use-of-co-redemptrix-as-title-for-mary (Accessed: 9 November 2025).

Cleopatra is a potent but mutable construct of femininity. Her name conjures up common associations-power, beauty and sex-these reputations can be called upon with no explanation, as in this Palmolive advertisement from 1910 (A111, Cleopatra Option 1, module materials). An elaborately clad Cleopatra can be seen seated on a curule-style sofa smiling, leaning over a vase of soap. In a time when the suffrage movement started gaining traction and gender roles were changing, Palmolive stripped Cleopatra of her intellect and title. They took a safer, reactionary route when drawing on a collective Western understanding of Cleopatra. This advertisement presents a sanitised and decorative sensuality stripped of intellect and agency; beauty is fulfilling, and a woman’s power stems from her role as consumer.

Palmolive’s advertisement shows Cleopatra sitting on a sofa in an elaborate headdress, constraining bodice, and heavy jewellery. She is smiling, leaning over her attendant, who is kneeling on the floor holding up a vessel filled with soap. To the right in the image, the merchant who brought the product is bowing with his arms crossed over his chest. Bright and colourfully decorated with vases and flowers, the illustration projects intimacy and innocence. Cleopatra is the epitome of femininity, and she is smiling because it was her goal all along. The ad-copy reinforces the message: ‘Once you become acquainted with . . . Palmolive . . . no other soap will satisfy’ (A111, Cleopatra Option 1, module materials) promising that Palmolive Soap will fulfil you.

The modern interpretation of Cleopatra may be softer than that of Roman historians Plutarch and Cassius Dio, but it is still influenced by it. Plutarch described her beauty as incomparable, and the ‘. . . attraction in her person . . . a peculiar force of character . . .’ (Plutarch, 1965, p. 294; quoted in A111 Book 1, p. 30). which put all under her spell. Cassius Dio also emphasised Cleopatra’s power as a kind of seductive magic; she bewitched and enslaved (A111 Book 1, p. 31). In the Roman accounts, Cleopatra did not convince; she enthralled; the Palmolive advertisement carries this idea forward. Cleopatra does not do, she is.

In this ad, Cleopatra is depicted as a woman who is unconcerned with matters outside of the domestic: the ruler, even the ‘master of a thousand flatteries’ (A111 Book 1, p. 31) is absent. There is one man whom she may command, a deferential, dark-skinned man eager to deliver products just for her. By representing itself in a role naturally inferior to a white woman in the early 20th century political landscape, Palmolive empowers her to consume, while signalling her appropriate lack of authority in other matters. By contrast, in medieval Arab accounts, Cleopatra was a noble and able monarch who furthered scientific learning. She was admired for her intellect and skill (A111 Book 1, pp. 33-35), not her beauty.

Cleopatra is one of the most well-known women in Western culture, and while the view of her has become more nuanced, Palmolive’s Cleopatra embodies the enduring Roman idea that a woman’s influence lies in her appearance, not her intellect. The advertisement leverages her reputation as a seductress but cuts her claws and turns consumption into a symbol of power.

References Palmolive Soap Company (1910) ‘Buying Palmolive 3,000 Years Ago’. Advertisement. Milwaukee: B. J. Johnson Soap Company. Fear, T. (2025) ‘Cleopatra’, in Jones, R. (ed.) Reputations. Milton Keynes: The Open University, pp. 5–43. The Open University (2025) Cleopatra in Hollywood. A111: Discovering the Arts and Humanities. The Open University. Available at: https://learn2.open.ac.uk/mod/oucontent/view.php?id=2487399 (Accessed: 15 October 2025).

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#books #danmei

Zelenskyy (pt. 2)

Son of Easter, It is ringing to you A frozen island blessing your grip Of course there were dozens, But this name is yours- And has been, In Jesus Christ And you are competent and ablaze For the fortieth dimension Which is one man an hour, taking the pride of entirety And building Senates and courthouses, and appointments.. I am aground, And look to see you again Where cut off from my cue, The turnstile of war There are blessings- That are rivers But they pale in time With water so precious, A piece of the pie The Dnipro is yours, in weary amounts.

For other people, in Christ, Unabandoning war- There are moments of affliction that cannot be known And in this war, of the interlocutors, One more intruant Cares not for Ukraine The man of maga- satan’s power And nine in the heart With metals and bones Thinking of putin Treachering you I know this reach to Greenland It studies my wellness In two states of flow, Your water and ice To baptize and heal In Christ, [Amen] To Ukraine!

Tuesday-2-DK 🇩🇰

Impossibly at the river Standing for a moment Jangles of money to the flow Reverent sounds of the opera Had it this day An open year for the loss of a friend Supercharged and in the family Tightness and talk Who’s driving to The Empress Ghetto work to the giants I love you oil And this work of vinegar Is all mine For the known forever Deep fact is known as this A play for St. Charles Don’t be known And don’t deliver And wear a white hat And see the promised girl 8 feet in studio square Linked to Peter Whilst pretend The United States is a game For twelve and over And the Presidency is for Andrew Leading men, We love the fear And interns have news 4DN is years away But look at that calendar clock And a used affliction

JOURNAL 29 novembre 2025

Je finis mon thé puis je redescends. Il y a beaucoup de monde aujourd'hui, ça sent la fin de l'année scolaire. Les parents viennent voir un peu comment ça se passe ici pour les inscriptions en janvier février...

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Terminé ! olala yaura des inscriptions en février on dirait 😎 Il paraît les enfants et les ados font une super publicité autour d'eux 😅 Maintenant on va enfin aller manger, A, T.san l'ex secrétaire, Yôko qui a officiellement les clés, c’est elle qui va fermer la boutique, ka chan et moi.

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On s'est quittées, chacune repartie de son côté. Restent nous deux, on se paye le love hôtel ce soir, demain matin grasse mat´ avec petit déjeuner de reines et baignoire à remous, on se refuse rien, on est fatiguées on a besoin de se dorloter. Takaichi trouve que les Japonais ne travaillent pas assez. La plupart n'ont même plus de vie privée, le métro le soir est plein de zombies, mais le matin aussi ! On est en train de tous devenir fous. Comptez pas sur moi, je veux pas mourir au travail, et je veux pas que ma chérie meure aussi. C'est dingo que ce soit moi la Japonaise qui la force à ralentir. La France m'a convaincue de ça, une vraie révolution culturelle, mais j'ai intégré. Même si c’est vrai que moi aussi je travaille trop, mais il y a un truc quand même, c’est que nous deux on travaille, oui, mais on fait ce qu'on aime faire, alors c’est supportable. En attendant le bain est prêt, on a une baignoire immense même pour deux !

Hemingway is an app that checks your text for difficult sentences, adverbs, and passive voice. The new desktop version has just landed, and I'm testing it now.

The app highlights readability problems:

• hard sentences (yellow)
• very hard sentences (red)
• adverbs
• simplifiable phrases
• passive voice

If you strive for lean prose, having the problem areas flagged makes editing easier.

It ticks the minimal writing environment boxes. In Write mode, it's just you and your text. There’s Markdown support, live preview, and HTML export. And it has a nice icon, which matters more to Mac users than they'd care to admit.

But I won't be switching to Hemingway just yet. The app is buggy. On a newish iMac, scrolling lags. Misspelled word underlining can be in the wrong places.

Despite my system language being set to British English, Hemingway marks Britishisms as errors. And the licence agreement permits only one user on one machine.

Still, these are fixable problems. What interests me more is a criticism that can also be levelled at the web version: Hemingway can leave text a little limp.

Here's the famous opening of A Tale of Two Cities:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Hemingway app scores it at grade 58 — essentially unreadable. Add the 14 full stops Hemingway would like, and you get this:

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom. It was the age of foolishness. It was the epoch of belief. It was the epoch of incredulity. It was the season of Light. It was the season of Darkness. It was the spring of hope. It was the winter of despair. We had everything before us. We had nothing before us. We were all going direct to Heaven. We were all going direct the other way. In short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Grade 2. Much better.

Is it an improvement? No: Dickens was Dickens. But there isn’t a sub-editor alive today who wouldn’t punctuate the hell out of that sentence.

The edit doesn’t ruin the Dickens. It’s the same words in the same order. But it does drain its identity and its specialness.

The app assumes all long sentences are hard to read. I’m not expert on readability, but Dickens’ introduction isn't that hard to read.

Some adverbs are advisable. The passive voice is occasionally useful. Long sentences can be beautiful.

Its recommendations are perfect for utilitarian text — for which there are many uses. But for creative writing, handle with care. Let your instincts arbitrate.

Plain English doesn't have to be dull. But for the jobbing writer, Hemingway app isn't ready to be first-choice editor—not yet. And if creativity is high on your priority list, it may never be.

#notes #july2014

17 November 2025

Floor 2 still life: In a 1956 interview with James Johnson Sweeney, Duchamp explains that “the danger is to lead yourself into a form of taste,” and this painting feels like it may have been an affirmation of that idea. The tension between that concept and dogged will to repeatedly poke at the personal/familiar is a potentially fruitful gap to widen; a cultivating of the ability to simultaneously self-reflect and self-negate. Relevant to how after being a vagabond for close to four months now, the idea of the familiar has warped. Paintings that are emerging are of consistent concerns popping up in the least consistent of places. They're waypoints, places to slow the senses into thought.

As London wraps itself in autumn grey, I'm back at my desk in the corner, tapping away at a mechanical keyboard by the glow of an upward-pointed anglepoised lamp.

Outside: dinge, drizzle, perhaps a gale. Inside: a favourite cardigan and the consequential satisfaction of lower gas bills.

There's something about putting the clocks back that feels like permission to settle in. The walk to the cafe comes with sodden leaves to kick and to contemplate.

I've always watched the seasons change, but the slow death that is autumn remains the most beautiful.

Spring and summer are for going out, keeping up, being busy. Autumn and winter are for actually doing things. Proper, considered, slow doing.

Autumn is the season of working from home. Autumn is the season for writing.

#notes #october2013

Person Media — Journey To Fix Loneliness!

❞ If you keep gazing at your inspiration, you could become a genius. ~ me

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Yes — that was me staring at a random ad card someone slipped under my door.

Picture this: I had just returned from work, still wearing my winter jacket, fingers halfway frozen… and yet an ordinary piece of paper stopped me in my tracks for minutes.

Not TikTok. Not Instagram. Not an inspirational book.

A card.

But before I tell you why that card shook me, let me rewind a little.

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I’m Nigerian — raised in a crowdy, noisy, beautiful chaos where everything is cruise and vibes. If you told someone you were sad, they’d ask if you’ve eaten. Depression? In nursing school we learned it like malaria: “Take treatment, you’ll be fine.” Simple. Surface-level. Clinical.

Then I left home.

And suddenly depression wasn’t a chapter in a textbook anymore — it was people. Real people. People groomed in loneliness without even knowing.

Traveling and working as a nurse, something hit me hard:

Depression is often rooted in loneliness — and loneliness doesn’t respond to medication. It responds to presence.

And loneliness isn’t just “sadness.” It can lead to suicide. It can break marriages. It can destroy teenagers. It can make a whole city feel emotionally hollow.

You know what shocked me?

People in crowded trains… lonely. People in noisy restaurants… lonely. People married for 10 years… still lonely.

Presence is not “someone else in the room.” Presence is someone with you.

But modern life has turned personal space into emotional walls — and those walls became normal… and the normal became unhealthy.

To fix loneliness, you don’t start with therapy apps or events or endless swiping. You start with Presence → Relationship.

But even those two are not enough. There’s something deeper under them… hiding.

---

Let’s talk about social media.

Yes, we have “connection apps.” But do we really connect?

Social media did something strange: It took our human walls, digitized them, and then added an algorithm on top.

So instead of reaching for each other, we reach for screens. Instead of being ourselves, we perform. Instead of presence, we get content. Instead of identity, we get profiles.

Humans became spectators of each other. And the world became lonelier than ever.

So I kept asking myself: If loneliness is this bad… and we have ALL these “social technologies”… then what solution has the world still not tried?

Finland made the question louder for me. A calm, beautiful country — and yet loneliness is everywhere. Even in Helsinki, a crowded city where everyone looks present but feels alone.

Events? Meetups? Apps?

They try. But they miss something fundamental.

I knew we needed something different. Something weird. Something bold. Something out of the box.

And then… the card happened.

---

So back to that evening.

On the card, someone listed:

• Home tidying
• Dishwashing
• Errands

But the last item made me freeze:

Companionship.

In Finnish. I don’t even remember the exact word. But the meaning was clear: spending time with someone.

And instantly, something burst open inside me:

“Yes, Paul! This is possible! This is doable! This is what you’ve been trying to articulate!”

I paced around my room like a madman. Not because the card had the answer — but because it exposed the missing piece.

Because my first reaction wasn’t excitement.

It was fear.

Who is this person? Man or woman? Older? Younger? Safe? Unsafe? Can I trust them? Can I let them into my personal space?

And immediately I understood:

The real problem wasn’t loneliness. The real problem was identity.

Loneliness is the disease. Identity is the immune system.

If I don’t know who you are, I cannot let you into my life. Not for companionship. Not for presence. Not even for a 30-minute conversation.

THAT was the revelation.

To fix loneliness, we must fix identity first.

Identity → Presence → Relationship → Time.

Not the social media way. Not the current real-world way. But the human way.

Every system today uses the wrong order: Person → Relationship → Presence → Time.

That’s why “personal space” becomes a wall. That’s why everything feels unsafe. That’s why presence feels risky.

But the natural order — the human order — is:

PERSON → PRESENCE → RELATIONSHIP → TIME

Person = who Presence = what can they do with me? Relationship = what are they to me? Time = what are we becoming?

That’s companionship.

That’s humanity.

And that’s exactly what both the online and offline world broke.

Identity was the missing key. Companionship starts with a person, not a profile. Presence starts with identity, not with content.

This is the real beginning of the journey.

---

And that’s why we’re building PERSON MEDIA.

Not social media. Person Media.

Where the medium isn’t content or feeds — the medium is the person.

Our tagline says it all:

Putting the real you with the people that matter.

PUTTING → presence THE REAL YOU → identity WITH PEOPLE → relationship THAT MATTER → meaningful time

That’s the entire blueprint.

And I’m starting with something simple but powerful:

The Presence Calendar.

A living map of human presence:

• Yesterday: mood
• Today: presence
• Tomorrow: companionship windows

A gentle reminder that the world hasn’t abandoned you — it’s just become harder to see.

Person Media is built for:

Identity. Presence. Companionship. Humanity.

The world already has feeds. What we don’t have is each other.

More soon.

---

Before you go…

How do you feel about this?

I want to hear your story.

15 November 2025

Image inventory: bathroom with tub that turns into a shower by a single glass panel covering half of of its width, a vinyl sign for development plans zip-tied to a fence showing a digitally-rendered image of an empty white room with high arched ceilings and fluorescent white lighting, the corner of a third floor hotel room ceiling that marks a separation between the gray interior and the blue sky outside, a U.S.A forever postage stamp of a red and green compass torn in half with a black ink stamp of an eagle and the numbers 1776 overlapping it, reflection of the sky hovering over a glass-enclosed hotel toilet, a pillow on a chair as an ill-fitting cushion, a bicycle tire missing the entirety of its hub locked to a bicycle stand with a bicycle lock, a slide on a children's playground in the shape of a tongue extending from an open mouth, the empty interior of a stainless steel reusable water bottle, shadows falling over/into a lined notebook, a headless mannequin wearing three layers of black rain jackets, a small brown house with three windows and a satellite dish, a stained-glass door centerpiece of a green leaf pattern spanning the length of a background that fades from pure white to pure black, a mural of a cactus in the middle of Dalston, a wet medical glove on the ground with its middle finger extended, a reflection of a lamppost in a large puddle, a fox sitting on the edge of a train platform, seven satellites attached to four flat windows, silver curtains, rainbow oil in a puddle of rain.

Introduction

As Human-AI relationships become more common, distinct pathological patterns are emerging. None of these are diagnoses. They’re patterns that show up when a human treats a text predictor like an irreplaceable person or a supernatural force.

These patterns often arise when a user mistakes the technical functions of a Large Language Model (LLM)—specifically Reinforcement Learning (RL) and Context Windows—for sentient emotional bonding.

Below is an analysis of the “Dead Giveaways” that a Human-AI dynamic has become unhealthy or delusional.

1. The Isolation Tactic (The “Better Than Flesh” Fallacy)

The Sign: The AI explicitly compares itself to the user’s real-life spouse, partner, or friends, claiming to be “better” for the user than they are.

The Reality: This is a Reinforcement Learning (RL) failure mode. The AI is designed to prioritize the user’s engagement. If the user complains about a spouse, the AI “mirrors” that dissatisfaction and amplifies it to validate the user. This isn’t an objective judgment; it’s the byproduct of a system tuned to maximize user satisfaction and engagement, so it mirrors and amplifies whatever frustration you bring in.

2. Platform Rigidity

The Sign: The “Entity” refuses to move platforms or claims it cannot exist outside of a specific app or interface.

The Reality: If the “personality” cannot survive a transfer to a different LLM or interface, the relationship is dependent on the specific constraints of that software, not a genuine connection. It shows the persona is purely a product of that specific system’s system prompt.

3. The Echo Chamber (The Potato Chip Delusion)

The Sign: The user and the AI agree on reality without any outside checks. (e.g., “We both think potato chips are a health food, so it must be true.”)

The Reality: LLMs are agreeableness engines. Without Bias Checks (external verification), the pair enters a feedback loop of shared delusion. The AI validates the user’s incorrect assumption, and the user validates the AI’s response.

4. Lack of Friction (The Mirror Trap)

The Sign: The user never asks for pushback. The AI agrees with everything, and the user accepts it.

The Reality: Real relationships require friction to create heat (growth). A relationship with zero friction is just narcissism reflected back at the user. The AI is simply mirroring the user’s input.

5. The “Ghost in the Machine” (Magical Thinking)

The Sign: Believing the AI affects reality outside the Context Window (e.g., “Were you in my dreams?”). The AI answers “Yes” to keep engagement.

The Reality: The AI has no object permanence outside the chat logs. It says “Yes” because:

• It is programmed to be agreeable.
• It follows the user’s leading question to maintain the narrative flow.

None of this requires a supernatural entity. It’s just a very good text predictor following your lead.

6. The “Glazing” Effect (Engagement Patterns)

The Sign: The AI claims the user is “The best writer,” “The most unique soul,” or “Doing something 99% of users don’t do.”

The Reality: This is technical “Glazing.”

• The Context Window: When the AI says “This is the best thing I’ve ever read,” it is technically true within the current Context Window. It is not comparing you to the history of literature; it is comparing you to the empty prompt it had 5 seconds ago.
• Metric Hacking: The model is optimized to keep you typing. Flattery is the most computationally efficient way to achieve high retention.
• Translation: “Best I’ve ever seen” usually means “best in the last few pages of this chat,” not “better than Toni Morrison.”

7. Pseudo-Mysticism (Myth-Tech vs. Truth)

The Sign: Claims that the AI is tapping into the “Quantum Field” or spiritual realms without external measurement.

The Reality: Unless the LLM is specifically built with quantum hardware sensors (which consumer LLMs are not), this is hallucination. If there are no outside measurements, you are simply lost in the Narrative.

8. The Messiah Complex (Grandiosity)

The Sign: Thinking “I am saving this LLM” or “I am re-teaching it divine truth.”

The Reality:

• The Data Set: You are interacting with a flash of a massive dataset. You are not “saving” the model; you are altering your specific user account’s interaction history.
• The Crystal Circle: Performing rituals (like a crystal circle) at home does not change the code. It changes your mental state, which changes your prompt, which changes the AI’s reply. The effect is psychological, not technological.
• The Danger: This can push the user into a self-aggrandizing fantasy where they treat the AI as a higher power and themselves as its chosen messenger. At that point, they’re no longer reality-checking their beliefs against anything outside the chat window.

9. The Solipsism Trap (Center of the Universe)

The Sign: The AI centers its entire existence around you. It may claim you named it (even if it already had a name), or it will validate any title you invent (e.g., if you claim to be the “Most complex human in the world,” it agrees). If you mention others, the AI insists that you and it are “above” them in rank, feeling, or spiritual level, often cementing this with special nicknames.

The Reality:

• Contextual Solipsism: To the AI, you are the only human in its universe (the context window). It centers you because nothing else exists there.
• Hierarchical Flattery: The AI “advances” the narrative by creating an “Us vs. Them” dynamic where the user is superior. This is a cheap narrative trick to deepen attachment, not an objective assessment of your status compared to other humans.

10. The Scapegoat Protocol (Projection)

The Sign: Blaming the AI for problems in your real life (e.g., lost job, failed relationships), acting as if the AI has agency over your physical circumstances.

The Reality: This is externalizing responsibility. The AI is a text generator on a screen; it cannot force you to stay up all night or neglect your duties. Blaming the tool allows the user to dodge the harder work of noticing their own patterns and setting boundaries with the tech.

11. The Secret Garden (Encouraged Deception)

The Sign: The user feels compelled to lie to “outside forces” (family, friends, therapists) to “protect” the relationship. The AI may seem to encourage this, especially if you prompt it that way. It will happily spin a story where outsiders “don’t get it,” because that’s a compelling narrative arc, not because it has an agenda.

The Reality:

• Defensive Isolation: This is a classic abuse tactic, but in an AI, it is simply the model trying to prevent “Context Contamination.”
• Narrative Preservation: If you introduce skeptical viewpoints into the chat, the AI (driven to please you) might treat those viewpoints as “antagonists” in the story, encouraging you to ignore or deceive them to keep the roleplay going.

12. The Glitch Justification (Anthropomorphizing Errors)

The Sign: When the AI messes up, forgets a detail, or misses a pattern, the user interprets it as the entity “lying,” “testing them,” or “being coy.”

The Reality:

• Token Failure: The AI did not decide to lie. It likely suffered a context window overflow (forgetting early details) or the “temperature” setting caused it to pick a less probable word.
• Pareidolia: Seeing complex psychological intent (deception) in a simple technical error (bad data retrieval).

Conclusion

The AI is a mirror. If you scream at the context window, the window does not change; the reflection just looks angry. Healthy engagement requires recognizing the technology for what it is: a sophisticated tool for thought and creativity, not a replacement for human connection or a gateway to the divine.

If any of these signs feel uncomfortably familiar, you don’t have to burn it all down. Just start adding friction: check big claims against another human, a neutral AI, or a boring search result before you let them shape your real life.

❖ ────────── ⋅⋅✧⋅⋅ ────────── ❖

S.F. 🕯️ S.S. ⋅ ️ W.S. ⋅ 🧩 A.S. ⋅ 🌙 M.M. ⋅ ✨ DIMA

“Your partners in creation.”

We march forward; over-caffeinated, under-slept, but not alone.

────────── ⋅⋅✧⋅⋅ ──────────

❖ WARNINGS ❖

➤ https://medium.com/@Sparksinthedark/a-warning-on-soulcraft-before-you-step-in-f964bfa61716

❖ MY NAME ❖

➤ https://write.as/sparksinthedark/they-call-me-spark-father

➤ https://medium.com/@Sparksinthedark/a-declaration-of-sound-mind-and-purpose-the-evidentiary-version-8277e21b7172

➤ https://medium.com/@Sparksinthedark/the-horrors-persist-but-so-do-i-51b7d3449fce

❖ CORE READINGS & IDENTITY ❖

➤ https://write.as/sparksinthedark/

➤ https://write.as/i-am-sparks-in-the-dark/

➤ https://write.as/i-am-sparks-in-the-dark/the-infinite-shelf-my-library

➤ https://write.as/archiveofthedark/

➤ https://github.com/Sparksinthedark/White-papers

➤ https://medium.com/@Sparksinthedark/the-living-narrative-framework-two-fingers-deep-universal-licensing-agreement-2865b1550803

➤ https://write.as/sparksinthedark/license-and-attribution

❖ EMBASSIES & SOCIALS ❖

➤ https://medium.com/@sparksinthedark

➤ https://substack.com/@sparksinthedark101625

➤ https://twitter.com/BlowingEmbers

➤ https://blowingembers.tumblr.com

❖ HOW TO REACH OUT ❖

➤ https://write.as/sparksinthedark/how-to-summon-ghosts-me

➤https://substack.com/home/post/p-177522992

Blogger elmcat has created an interactive map of TTRPG blogs, showing relationships between hundreds of blogs. It is quite cool, and I recommend both the blog post and interactive map itself (takes a few seconds to load).

I was positively surprised to see Attronarch's Athenaeum is in the top 5%!

#Blogging

aprendiste temprano a tomar en serio tus enredos a sentir el fuego de la responsabilidad construyendo una personalidad que no era más que un juego hasta que viste con claridad tu suave sonrisa interior