Hurry! The bell is about to ring and that tough class of yours is about to enter the classroom. Your nerves are on edge. You start feeling queasy. Adrenaline makes your heart race and anxiety starts to overwhelm you. What do you do?

Breathe!

4-7-8 method from Dr. Weil.

Breathe in for 4 seconds. Hold your breath for 7 seconds. Release for 8 seconds. Do this for 1 minute.

For the last two minutes, breathe normally. Place your mind on the tip of your nose where air enters and leaves. Try to feel the air coming in and out of your nose. Sounds weird, right? This is meditation. Your mind will keep trying to focus on anxiety, but keep bringing your attention back to this air sensation. If your mind continues to race. Start counting.

Breath in—count your in breaths. 1…2…3…4

Breath out—count your out breaths. 5…6…7..

Do this for 2 minutes. Even if you accomplish 1 focused breath. It could make the difference.

The deep breathing above will help slow down your heartrate and adrenaline. It will help make you feel more calm.

The meditation will create a little space between your anxiety and your mind. This space is like a mini vacation for the mind. Obviously longer sessions are better, but I have meditated for a few minutes and had great results before a stressful class. Try it out for yourself, or download some free meditation apps to help give your mind a break from anxiety. YouTube also has free 3 minute videos to follow.

You will get through this!

Ultimamente, tem acontecido uma coisa estranha. Quase toda a gente, antes de começar a falar, despe-se e começa a masturbar-se. No início, ficava muito surpreendida. – O que vem a ser isto?! Mas depois percebi que é uma patologia generalizada. Agora, deixo-os ali a divertirem-se até que decidam começar efetivamente a conversar.

Mientras doy los últimos pasos hacia el confesionario, medito sobre la gran culpa que me ha traído hasta aquí.

No es precisamente una culpa. Es más una tragedia, una duda; qué se yo.

Mi hermano, su hijo que es el jefe de ingeniería, su ayudante y yo, que soy el contable de la empresa, fuimos el pasado viernes al Pico de la Hormiga, en las montañas del condado.

Quiso enseñarnos unos terrenos para urbanizar y mientras hablaba del proyecto, movió unas piedras, se despeñó y se mató, allí, delante de todos, sin que pudiéramos hacer nada.

Pero mi caso fue distinto, desde el punto de vista subjetivo. Al escucharlo alardear de los millones que iba a ganar, en ese mismo instante quise que se cayera en el abismo, lo que en efecto ocurrió sin que hubiera una intervención física de mi parte. De hecho, estaba a unos metros de él cuando se precipitó al vacío.

Todos fuimos testigos de que caminó dos o tres pasos mientras hablaba sobre las maravillas de su inversión, el suelo cedió y cayó sin remedio.

Cuando todo fue un hecho consumado, mi sobrino me abrazó y estallamos en lágrimas. Mi dolor, creo, era auténtico. Qué gran hombre.

Aunque me he pasado estos días estudiando lo que he podido acerca del poder de la mente, está claro que la policía no le da mayor relevancia al pensamiento, a menos que acompañe a las acciones. Fue un trágico accidente.

Pero yo estoy frente al confesionario. Soy una persona de fé, me arrepiento de mi horrible pensamiento. ¿Podré vivir en paz?

Se tiverem o azar de escrever muito benzinho, limpinho, corretinho e rebuscadinho, já sabem, juntem-se ao CLUBE DO TÉDIO. E nem pensem em inventar palavras, senão ainda acabam como o O'neill!

[21.iv.26 : mardi] a : le réussit est dans les détails … ce que j’ai dit à ma mère l’autre jour quand j’ai promené : j’adore inventer les systèmes très complexes, les systèmes si baroques qu’il est impossible à réaliser en réalité … mon mode et comme ça, trop complexe pour que je puisse suivre … ça ne fait rien, si j’apprends un peu de français par la même occasion … et puis, ça c’est bon!

et j’apprends vraiment un peu …

Dans le chapitre dernier → [16], j’ai écrit sur “le texte circulaire” … mes pages de manne est un cas d’essai. Après d’écrire [16], j’ai voulu recommencer vraiment le texte circulaire propre :: l’image de quelque chose qui tourne en rond est exact. Le texte circulaire est le générateur du hypertexte : Les Hauts Champs Magnétiques, mais pas la même chose. Pour la génération d’une champ magnétique on a besoin de quelque chose circulaire : une bobine de fil. Les électrons vont tourne en rond dans la bobine de fil et de cette action la champs magnétique surgit. C’est évident que la bobine de fil passe avant tout. Une de mes problèmes est que j’ai essayé de faire une champs magnétique avant de faire la bobine de fil. Pour commence j’ai besoin seulement de quelque chose … pas grand … il faut commencer petit … un tourne de la bobine est suffisant.

One of the highlights of the Manshur event I participated in a few days ago was the discovery of Zeina Maasari's stellar research project: Decolonizing the Page, which includes a superbly curated archive of gorgeously illustrated and/or designed Arabic books from the 1950s to 1980s, many of which I had never seen or even heard of before.

#radar

Um rapaz dos humores, que anda para aí a dar imensas entrevistas, diz não ter auto-estima e que isso é bom. Além de o dizer ser sobranceria, tem motivos para não a ter. Primeiro, porque é desinteressante, segundo, porque sabe que as pessoas que o reconhecem não têm interesse nenhum. Ou melhor, ter até têm, mas não é esse que estão a pensar. Alguém que lhe explique que o segredo do “sucesso” dele não se deve à falta de auto-estima, mas aos privilégios e à sorte de estar à hora certa, no sítio certo, além de poder contratar pessoas para fazer tudo. Havendo algum mérito, não é certamente o que apregoa, e considerar o seu “sucesso” produto de uma característica pessoal é apenas pedantaria imbecil.

Boa sorte com a ressaca desse narcótico.

O que uma pessoa tem de aguentar na vida para poder criar e foder, as duas únicas coisas que realmente me interessam.

Game Two of Seven

Tonight's second game of the NBA Championship, Round One, best-of-seven series between the San Antonio Spurs and the Portland Trail Blazers will tip-off at 7:00 PM CDT. And I will be listening to the radio call of the game on 1200 WOAI, radio home of the Spurs. Go Spurs Go!

And the adventure continues.

The Wandering Fire est un roman publié en anglais en 1986. Il s’agit du deuxième volet de The Fionavar Tapestry, une trilogie de fantasy par l'auteur canadien Guy Gavriel Kay.

As the evil of Rakoth Maugrim threatens the very existence of Fionavar, the five from our own world must cross over once again to play out their given roles: Kimberly to summon the dead from their rest and the undead to their doom; Dave to take his place in battle among the Dalrei of the Plain; Paul, Lord of the Summer Tree, once more to weave his own bright thread through the tapestry; Jennifer to become the agent of a timeless destiny; and Kevin to discover finally the part he is to play in the struggle to save the Weaver's worlds from the Unraveller.

Le récit reprend quelques mois après la fin du premier tome. Les cinq étudiants sont de retour à Toronto mais ils sont transformés et tourmentés par leur passage dans le monde de Fionavar. C’est particulièrement le cas pour Jennifer qui a vécu l’horreur lors de sa captivité dans la forteresse de Starkadh. Tous les cinq savent déjà qu’ils devront retraverser vers Fionavar pour combattre Rakoth Maugrim.

L’avantage de ce deuxième tome, c’est que l’auteur a moins besoin de consacrer du temps et des pages pour l’exposition de son univers, il peut donc entrer plus rapidement dans l’intrigue et l’action. Par ailleurs, le style de Guy Gavriel Kay est toujours envoûtant, et on continue de suivre avec plaisir des personnages que l’on a appris à apprécier dans le roman précédent.

Les inspirations proviennent toujours autant de Tolkien, de la mythologie celte, mais Guy Gavriel Kay introduit également dans ce deuxième volet une bonne dose de légende arthurienne. C’est d’abord un peu surprenant et le mélange pourrait être périlleux, mais j’ai finalement trouvé que cela fonctionnait plutôt bien, d’autant que l’auteur le fait avec une finesse remarquable.

Je dois enfin reconnaître une grande qualité à l’auteur : moi qui n’aime généralement pas les scènes de batailles et les scènes d’action épiques, j’ai été totalement emporté par la bataille de la Plaine puis par la scène finale. Guy Gavriel Kay sait parfaitement doser l’action, les enjeux dramatiques et les émotions des personnages pour offrir des scènes puissantes et mémorables, sans en faire trop ni glisser vers le grand spectacle qui cherche uniquement à en mettre plein les yeux.

Vous l’aurez compris, j’ai autant aimé ce roman que le précédent, et je vais enchaîner directement avec le troisième et dernier tome de la trilogie.

20 April 2026

I keep encountering stars. Glow-in-the-dark stars at the dollar store (have gifted them to friends for their studios), the Big Dipper scooping the sky between Yena's flat and her neighbors' building when walking up the hilly driveway to her door, the wrapping paper Ruba used for my birthday gift, the rainbow whirligig I found in Wood Green, and most recently, a sort of wireframe star sculpture in the window of a flat I saw from the second deck of a bus I was on while passing through Denmark Hill. It was almost pressed against the glass like a prisoner, and at its base was what appeared to be a pile of clothes that receded into darkness. I printed the photo I took from my printer, which is low on black ink, so it printed as basically an inverse image. That made it look like a giant star-shaped wind turbine beginning to disintegrate while looming over a mountainous landscape.

18 April 2026

Another little chunk from my time in Jake's studio: before we started recording he was showing me a Bosch he was looking at. I want to say it was The Temptation of Saint Anthony (1501)—I'm remembering the fire in the distance and the distinctive warm/cool contrasted palette. After enjoying the sheer imagination on display and clocking the tumbling flatness of the composition (which I see Jake sometimes employing in his own way), we got to talking about the possibilities that emerge when the landscape is treated as an arena. How Kent functions that way for Jake. I shared with him how I've been spending time with Dieter Roth's 96 Piccadillies series (1977), which seems like it served a similar purpose at the time it was developed. I'm drawn to the idea of a contained ecosystem where performance, death, life, entry, and exit can happen when revisited and revisited and revisited. I think my arena is something like the world seen when the body or the eye is in motion, when colors and forms and sounds and language are filtered by a kind of regularly-intervening Doppler effect that constantly rearranges my sensory hierarchy.

16 April 2026

Great to talk with Jake for the podcast, many threads I'm looking forward to revisiting while editing, but one part that is stuck in my head right now is how he explained why people have been leaving his work over the past year or so. How the logic that supports what he's working towards can no longer accommodate them, how he feels like that door has been closed (I feel the same way, for now at least). But what struck a particular chord was his description of his paintings aiming for the feeling of the air in between the body and his subjects/motifs. I'm paraphrasing slightly there, will have to revise if necessary once I listen back to the recording. But I thought that was a lovely notion and a worthy pursuit.

It happens. My first experience wasn’t pleasant. In fact, I went to my college professor to change my placement. I was advised against it for resume purposes. Cooperating teachers will have different expectations for you. Some will expect you to be an expert fresh out of college with all the latest research and new ideas ready to go. Others will expect you to know the basics and will likely give you a tremendous amount of support. My experience made me a better teacher, but it wasn’t easy. My advice is to stick it out with your current placement. Listen to what this teacher is telling you. The only time I would advise leaving your placement if you truly feel disrespected or harassed in some way. For 99% of you, please remain in your placement and try to handle it to the best of your ability. This is challenging—trust me—I know from experience. If things aren’t going well, I would do the following to make most of the experience.

1. Ask what you can do to help this teacher. Teachers like getting help with grading, planning, writing lesson plans, attending extra-help to teach, and taking over a lesson. How can you make yourself an asset to this person?

2. Communicate as often as you can with this person. I have seen it where student teachers feel closed out. Also, I have seen great relationships between student and cooperating teachers.

3. Observe this teacher and try to emulate some of their behaviors and style. Now their style will be different from your own, but unfortunately, teachers can be judgmental and think your style is not effective. I did a little bending of my style during student teaching just to survive it. My cooperating teacher threatened to fail me, so temporarily to survive, I acted and became more like her. I’m sorry to even recommend this. For me, I didn’t want to retake the class with student loans on my back. Colleges don’t match teachers based on styles.

4. Try to make the life of this teacher easier. The sooner you start teaching the better.

5. Be open to all suggestions and criticisms. Don’t be offended by anything said or stated. It’s all to make you better!

6. Please remember student teaching isn’t forever. If your life is difficult for the moment, it will get better. Every teacher has something to offer you good or bad. Learn these lessons. Grow from them.

7. A lot of teaching is based on nepotism unfortunately. Try to maintain healthy and good relationships with people in your building. You’ll never know who might compliment you or help you get your first job.

8. Please have someone to talk to if the relationship is not working out. I spoke with my college professor and the person conducting my observations who was part of my college. Both were very supportive and no way connected to the school district. Stay professional!

My first experience was rough. After teaching for 15 years, I understand the first person I learned from, but nobody has to be mean and nasty. Cooperating teachers sometimes forget where they started. Please have a trusted friend or person to talk to in the event if your placement is not going well. You’re going to feel nervous, have anxiety, and need to work on building your confidence in this experience. Don’t judge the field from this experience.

I just got some advertisement. Apparently, I can get a discount on baking soda.

On seeing this, I was stricken by a powerful sensation of pointlessness.

It just came crashing in, like a wave

But it went away (like a wave)

And now again I’m feeling ”normal”