We buy things we don’t need  We drive cars we can’t afford   We go to places social media says are cool We invest in neighborhoods we don’t resonate with We do drugs to feel better for the moment  We drink alcohol to forget We consume destructive music and entertainment  We date people we don’t love We stay friends with people who flake on us  We eat food with no nutritional value  We eat “healthy” food unfit for our designs  We overwork to avoid facing ourselves We stay in careers we think we should be in  We escape to exotic destinations  We stay busy to feel important  We spend our time and energy on the wrong people We blame our problems on other people  We hold on to our outdated beliefs really hard

Then we hit rock bottom

We realize we are not well  We have no idea who we are  None of these external factors makes us happy  We can’t keep escaping  We can’t keep going like this anymore

This is when we break

Everything we’ve held on to no longer works  We experience a massive amount of loss  In relationships, health, jobs, and things we own

The loss ends up working in our favor It’s spring cleaning time Everything that holds us back, is out  To create more space for new things to enter

We encounter people who challenge and test us They are here to urge our growth We encounter people who instantly feel like family  They are here to remind us we are not alone in our journeys  And that we deserve to love and be loved

We finally start facing ourselves  It’s uncomfortable  But we can’t go back  We have no other choice  So we keep going inward  The darkness of the tunnel feels like forever

Then we start seeing the light We start remembering who we are  Who we want to be  Who we don’t want to be moving forward What we like  What we don’t like

We realize all our problems stem from our childhoods We revisit our painful pasts  We work through them with grace and courage  This time, we got this  Our awareness is on another level  We’ve been collecting the dots this whole time   We finally get to connect them  It’s time to feel whole

We’ve reached the state of inner peace We accept where we are and who we are We accept the painful pasts We accept the wrongdoings of other people We see ourselves in others We surrender and love

Our journeys continue.

#writing

One of the things that I have enjoyed about taking my first Lenten journey this year is rediscovering my love of writing.

My desire to write flows from taking time each day to contemplate, read, and study. Before Lent, I had filled every free moment with mindless distractions and entertainments, so I had almost no desire to write.

But now I feel almost compelled to write. Not only to record and share what I'm thinking and learning, but as an exercise that helps crystallize and organize those thoughts. It's similar to “thinking out loud” when you're talking through something with another person, except this is thinking on paper? Thinking in text?

This blog is an excellent outlet for my writing, but I have also taken up keeping a personal journal again, too. This past Sunday I re-subscribed to Day One and wrote an actual journal entry for the first time in almost two years.

And I reactivated my IFTTT applet that automatically adds posts from this blog as journal entries in my Day One journal, so everything I write here is captured for posterity.

I'm hoping I can keep the distractions in check permanently this time. Although they require time and intention, I have found writing, reading, contemplation, and other such activities to be illuminating and more fulfilling than playing a video game or mindlessly scrolling social media.

#writing #intentionism