I had a thought because I was scrolling through TikTok and I saw a video of that LARP battle Website. There was a kid in what looked like the Philippines that was showing off a collection of four supercars, and the comments were saying that their goal is to be rich enough that their kid can win those battles. And I think about a modern variation of the American dream to be able to afford these luxurious things and have super fancy toys, and it kind of reminded me how people talk about men that are happily married with a kid and they say that those men are truly rich. And I think to me both of those things very much have their appeals, honestly, I would rather have the happily married life. But I feel like my experience has been one of fairly strong negativity, in the sense that I genuinely feel like there is an easier and more direct path to the large amount of material wealth compared to finding that love story. I know that in the next few coming months, I will have my yearly performance review and I think there’s a pretty good chance that I end up making 200 K a year which is absolutely insane for being only one year out of college. I know that if I continue down the path I am on I believe that I will continue to rise and make more and more money. And I joke a little bit about it, but if I do not have a wife and kids, I will very much have that extra money to be able to pretty much do whatever I want. I am right now I would say roughly net even, without using my stock compensation. As my income grows more and more, I don’t really expect my lifestyle to creep proportionally, but then again I absolutely know that it can. But that being said I feel like I would be able to continue to go at this rate and if I didn’t have a wife and kids, I would be able to do things like buy fancy cars or stuff like that because anyway, I already have a house at an insane deal. And I think that is the biggest thing in life to save up for or purchase and with that out of the way, I have the rest to be comfortable with. And I guess it kind of makes me a little bit sad having to accept a life of lavish material things as a dream rather than a happy family, and something that doesn’t rely to some extent on the feeling of competition with others. I think the material things are heavily influenced by the social prestige that they give. And I know that I’m not really the kind of person to want something like that. I like the idea of being able to spend money, I think it would be really nice to not have to cut quarters and to be able to spend money on the things that I would love to, for example having a stylist and being able to buy nice clothing rather than trying to find deals where I can, and all of that, but at the same time, I understand that there really isn’t much a difference at the end of the day from the clothing itself. I also know that the idea of that whole race of trying to just show wealth without any value behind it like luxury clothing, or wasting money on stuff like bottle service that clubs is always something that kind of disgust me and I’m happy with that. I don’t want to live a life pressured by social appearances. But I guess I kind of wish that there is a more explicit way or path that I could go down to find that love story I’ve wanted since I was a kid. I’ve recently been thinking a little bit more about trying to work on my appearance even more, because I think that it is something that is pretty much your entrance in the door for talking with people or getting them interested in you. And when I think about my sense of value and my self-esteem regarding that, I understand that they are not necessarily things that you can see from a first impression maybe. Like if I was to approach someone at the gym it’s kind of hard to play to my strengths I guess in the same way that being more beautiful could. I also think that there is now this kind of pressure in my head about a future partner being someone that other people consider beautiful also. I think that a partner is a reflection of yourself and I understand that looks are not everything but very much is the first impression people get. I want people to see me as a success I guess. It’s weird because when I started that sentence, I realized that my desire for a partner to be someone people valued is me worrying about other people’s perception of me and to some extent, I am playing that whole social game. I guess it’s kind of hard to instantly change my perception of this, but maybe a perspective I could have is, I don’t need people to see me in Gucci or designer clothing, but I should still be well dressed in a style that adheres to me. There’s a certain point onwards where marginal improvements come at a huge cost, like the jump from random generic shirts to a good quality shirt with a design you like is much bigger than jumping to a designer shirt, but the cost drastically increases. And I think that’s the same for a relationship, I don’t need someone that would be insanely thirsted over online, but I would love it if people would see them and say wow yeah no she is beautiful or she is really attractive. And I’m not saying that is a necessity but I think that’s a reasonable goal to strive for. And I also think that there is two trains of thought of one, me being the same way to match my partner, but also there is the lens that I think there are a lot of different aspects of me that are incredibly exceptional and I don’t expect a partner in to match me in, and appearance this could be one of those things that I’m fine being on the better end of the deal for. But I also just don’t like this whole idea of a deal or value and I think those things get in the way of the real goal and so I’d rather just try to focus on improving myself for my own sake.

well, i do have a topic today, its called nothing. Yes, as you expected again from the guy that always starts with “i have nothing to say” and writes a whole paragraph about something, so i guess you’d expect me to talk about something today as usual, but i dont have anything to say or talk about. I’m exhausted and i had a long way back home. Heavy traffic is not something i would recommend for myself to deal with, though i live in a busy city. i always hated that. but i do love my city. Saturdays somehow convinced every single person that today is the day they have to leave the house. Not a single exception. the roads look like they held a meeting and collectively agreed to stop moving. you’d think people were being paid to sit in traffic. well, maybe they are. every red light suddenly becomes a personal insult. you finally move five meters just to stop again, which is impressive. really, i couldve walked faster if i wasnt already too tired to remember how legs work. Whoever designed traffic clearly had a sense of humor. a bad one in specific. anyway. enough about traffic, i’d like a cup of tea right now. just one, then sit somewhere quiet, complain about life to nobody, and pretend im recovering from today. But unfortunately, my stomach has decided that tea is an unacceptable life choice, so i’d probably come right back up, i guess its nice when your own body rejects one of the few things you actually still enjoy. i was texting my angel while thinking about making that tea. i spent more time staring at our conversation than deciding whether i should actually get up. i dont think she realizes how effortlessly she makes the day a little less exhausting just by being there. and i guess it is funny how someone can calm your mind from miles away.

I’ll probably end up falling asleep with my phone still in my hand. im running out of energy faster than im running out of words, which is saying something since i started this by claiming i had nothing to write about. ill probably be asleep in the next few minutes. if tomorrows entry starts with me complaining about waking up with my phone on my face, dont act surprised. and yes, I’ll remember the wrist restrainers before i disappear into sleep.id rather not explain fresh scratches all over again.

Sincerely, someone probably already asleep while writing this

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” — Proverbs 13:12

Dream 8/1/26

We are hosting a traveling minister for lunch. We have a pool party with a big round above-ground pool. 4 people in attendance: Wife, me, Troy (minister) and Charlotte (older single friend whose husband dumped her tragically 25 years ago for a younger model).

I set up a garage sale so my wife can demonstrate how talk to people about the Bible in informal situations. Charlotte and I pretend to be people at the garage sale, which is set up along the wall with the telephone at my grandmother's house. I pick up the phone just to see the cord waggle. it is 30' long.

My wife asks the minister if it's okay for us to get a second house so we can have some peace. He explains that separation isn't recommended for the health of a close-knit marriage. She then asks if I can live on a small raft in the middle of the pool. To demonstrate, I get onto the raft but immediately fall into the water.

The point feels made.

What it means:

Revolving around: tension between appearances, responsibility, and my need for peace.

The minister represents spiritual authority and organizational expectations. We're hosting him, and I feel like my life is under observation or evaluation. The setting is friendly—a lunch and a pool party—but everything also feels very demonstrative. The garage sale isn't really a garage sale; it's a stage for performance. Even Charlotte and I are pretending to be customers.

I wonder if ordinary life is a performance o ra teaching opportunity rather than simply being lived.

The location being my grandmother's house: A home that symbolizes my roots and the environment where many of my beliefs and values were formed for better or worse. The telephone along the wall: Communication, messages, and connection. And the cord, which was only about 6' in reality, is longe enough keep me in contact wherever I need. The preachig display is a point that communication about faith has been deeply woven into my family history—and I'm 54.

The most emotional part of the dream: my wife asks if we can get a second house just so we can have some peace. She doesn't want to to end the marriage. Both of us are searching for breathing room. Instead of divorce, the discussion is about separation, creating distance while remaining connected. It's weird, because in reality, distance is the problem. We need to be closer, more connected, more one-flesh. More sex. More meaningful conversation. More open honesty. More compliments. More respect. More love. Not less. Maybe this is looking for relief from pressure without abandoning the deeper stuff.

The strange solution—that I could live on a small raft in the middle of the pool—made sense in the dream. Like most dream-scapes do. A raft isn't a home. It's temporary, unstable, and isolated. It's as if my unconscious is asking, “Could you survive by simply floating between two worlds?” The answer comes immediately when I try it: I fall into the water.

Water usually represents emotions. The unconscious. Falling off the raft suggests that trying to live in an unstable compromise isn't sustainable. I can't build peace on something that barely floats. Eventually I end up immersed in my emotions instead of remaining safely above them.

And honestly? I think this my life to date—living unstable but dry, with the possibility of of it all crashing down at any moment.

The pool itself is a contained body of water. Unlike the ocean, it's controlled and surrounded by people. So these aren't overwhelming emotions from the outside world but emotions contained within my family and spiritual life. They're close, familiar, and impossible to ignore.

And I frequently am drowned invisibly.

The TLDR of this? Manifestation of longing for peace while showing that fake or temporary fixes won't fix anything. I can't just live high and dry above the saturating waters of a life that doesn't sustain me. I can't live above a reality that could kill me. Drifting in the middle, isolated and lonely, hoping the tension just goes away.

I wonder what genuine peace would look like instead of looking for escape? A theme in my life. I got a glimpse in the last few years, but it came with its own drowning possibilities.

Like most things in this life: there is no pure solution. Only managing until that hope-for 'real life' I've been promised.

It's okay though. Maybe you're like me: you never had or expected the kind of life that would take care of you. Maybe you're life has been trying to manage and keep your raft afloat. If so, here's a nod from the middle of my wet, to yours.

---

Saturday's MLB Game of Choice has the Toronto Blue Jays playing the St. Louis Cardinals in an afternoon game scheduled to start at 2:07 PM CDT. As I usually do, I'll follow the game's score and stats in real time via MLB's Gameday Service where we can also find links to the radio-call of the game provided by announcers of either team we choose.

And the adventure continues.

I learned the word decimate in a school history lesson. I remember it well. Later, in an inter-school debating competition, I remember the pleasure of using it myself.

I was arguing that the proposal advanced by the opposing team was not merely damaging to society. It was asking people to participate in their own ruin. Rather like removing stones from the building's foundations in order to strengthen its walls.

Decimate seemed the perfect word.

The practice from which it emerged belonged to the Roman legions. A military unit judged guilty of an offence could be ordered to decimate itself. The punishment was horrifying precisely because it was collective and self-inflicted. One man in every ten was selected and killed by his comrades. The unit itself carried out the sentence.

That is what gave the word its extraordinary power. It did not simply describe destruction. It described a group compelled to become an instrument of its own punishment. Self-harm elevated to public policy.

Few English speakers hear that meaning today.

Ask someone what decimate means and they will probably say “destroy”, “devastate”, or “wipe out”. Dictionaries now largely accept those broader definitions because common usage has long since moved on. Language, after all, follows speakers rather than historians.

Yet something has been lost.

The older meaning carried a flavour that the modern one lacks. It contained ideas of complicity, discipline, participation and sacrifice. A forest may be devastated by fire. A city may be destroyed by war. But a legion decimated itself.

That distinction mattered.

So what should writers do with words like this? If you are writing for specialists, the historical meaning may still survive. But what if your audience hears only the modern sense? Do you continue to defend the older usage in the hope of preserving a fragment of linguistic history? Or do you accept that language changes, surrender gracefully, and move on?

I have chosen the latter.

This is probably the last time I will use the word decimate. Not because I have stopped admiring it, but because the meaning I admire is no longer the meaning most people hear.

So farewell, old friend.

May some future generation rediscover you, and understand why you once seemed such a remarkable word. David Marshall Sna Sceirí

Comment organiser un débarras efficace et sans stress

Organiser un débarras, ça peut sembler une montagne à gravir, on est d'accord. La bonne nouvelle, c'est que ce n'est pas forcément synonyme de chaos et de journée perdue. Avec une bonne préparation et quelques astuces, on peut rendre ça beaucoup plus gérable, voire même étonnamment satisfaisant. L'idée, c'est de transformer une tâche souvent redoutée en un processus clair et structuré.

Se Préparer : Le Secret d'un Débarras Réussi

Avant même de penser à toucher la première boîte, l'étape la plus cruciale est la préparation. Elle englobe autant votre état d'esprit que votre condition physique. Sans cette mise en condition, le risque de se retrouver submergé ou de s'épuiser rapidement est bien réel. C'est un peu comme avant une longue randonnée : on ne part pas sans chaussures adaptées et une carte.

Préparer Son Mental : Accepter le Défi

Organiser un débarras, c'est souvent faire face à des choses qu'on a accumulées pendant des années, parfois avec une charge émotionnelle. Il est donc essentiel d'aborder cette tâche avec la bonne attitude.

Lâcher prise : La Clé de la Désencombrement

Le plus gros obstacle, c'est souvent notre attachement aux objets. Il faut accepter que certaines choses ont rempli leur rôle et qu'il est temps de leur dire au revoir. Pensez au soulagement que vous ressentirez plutôt qu'à la perte. Visualisez l'espace que vous allez libérer.

Fixer des Objectifs Réalistes

Ne visez pas de finir tout en un week-end si vous avez des années d'accumulation. Découpez la tâche en plus petites étapes. Par exemple, un jour pour le grenier, un autre pour le garage, etc. Célébrez chaque petite victoire, ça motive !

Anticiper les Obstacles Émotionnels

Vous pourriez retrouver des objets qui vous rappellent des souvenirs. C'est normal. Prévoyez des moments pour cela, mais ne vous laissez pas submerger. Gardez à l'esprit l'objectif final : un espace plus fonctionnel et agréable.

Se Préparer Physiquement : Être Prêt pour l'Action

Un débarras, c'est aussi une activité physique. Sans être un athlète, être en bonne forme peut faire une grande différence dans votre endurance et votre efficacité.

L'Équipement Nécessaire

Avant de commencer, assurez-vous d'avoir le bon matériel. Des gants de travail pour protéger vos mains, des chaussures fermées pour la sécurité, et des vêtements confortables dans lesquels vous pouvez bouger librement. Pensez aussi à de l'eau pour rester hydraté.

L'Importance du Repos

La veille de votre session de débarras, dormez bien. Une bonne nuit de sommeil vous donnera l'énergie nécessaire pour affronter la tâche. N'oubliez pas de faire des pauses régulières pendant l'activité pour éviter la fatigue excessive.

Trier et Organiser Avant de Plonger

L'étape du tri est peut-être la plus fondamentale. Essayer de débarrasser sans avoir trié, c'est comme vouloir vider une maison avec une seule petite poubelle : inefficace et frustrant. L'organisation avant l'action rendra la suite beaucoup plus simple.

La Méthode du “Quatre Cases” (ou Plus)

Une technique simple et efficace est de préparer plusieurs zones ou récipients dédiés à chaque catégorie de sortie.

La Pile “À Garder”

Ce sont les objets que vous utilisez régulièrement ou que vous tenez vraiment à conserver pour leur utilité ou leur valeur sentimentale. Soyez honnête avec vous-même sur leur utilité réelle.

La Pile “À Donner”

Les objets en bon état mais dont vous n'avez plus besoin peuvent trouver une seconde vie. Pensez aux associations, aux amis, aux brocantes.

La Pile “À Vendre”

Si certains objets ont une valeur marchande, prévoyez une catégorie pour les mettre de côté. Cela demande un peu plus de temps, mais peut être gratifiant financièrement.

La Pile “À Jeter”

Ceci inclut les objets cassés, inutilisables, périmés ou en trop mauvais état pour être donnés ou vendus. Il faut être rigoureux ici.

La Pile “À Relocaliser”

Parfois, on retrouve des choses qui appartiennent à une autre pièce de la maison. Créez une pile pour les remettre à leur place après le débarras principal.

Un Débarras Par Zone pour Plus d'Efficacité

Essayer de trier toute une maison d'un coup peut être écrasant. Concentrez-vous sur une zone à la fois.

Commencer Par les Endroits les Moins Émotionnels

Si possible, commencez par des zones comme le garage, la cave ou un débarras qui contiennent moins d'objets chargés émotionnellement. Cela vous permettra de vous entraîner à trier et à prendre des décisions sans être trop émotionnel.

Aborder les Zones Sensibles en Dernier

Les dressings, les bureaux ou les bibliothèques peuvent contenir des objets plus personnels. Une fois que vous êtes rôdé au processus de tri, vous serez mieux préparé à les aborder.

Élaborer Votre Stratégie de Débarras

Une fois que vous êtes prêt mentalement et physiquement, et que vous avez une idée claire de ce que vous voulez faire de chaque objet, il est temps de planifier la logistique du débarras lui-même. Une bonne stratégie évite le gaspillage de temps et d'énergie.

La Logistique du Transport : Comment Faire Sortir les Choses

L'une des choses les plus complexes dans un débarras, c'est de gérer le volume des objets à évacuer.

Déterminer le Volume à Évacuer

Faites un tour rapide de ce qui doit sortir. Est-ce quelques sacs ? Une remorque ? Plusieurs gros meubles ? Cette estimation est cruciale pour choisir la bonne méthode d'évacuation.

Planifier les Trajets de Sortie

Pensez à l'itinéraire que vont prendre les objets pour sortir de chez vous. Est-ce qu'ils vont passer par la porte d'entrée ? Par une porte de service ? Y a-t-il des escaliers étroits ? Identifiez les éventuels points de blocage.

Le Calendrier du Débarras : Quand et Comment

Définir un calendrier réaliste est essentiel pour ne pas se décourager.

Découper le Projet en Étapes Gérables

Si le débarras est important, ne prévoyez pas de tout faire en un seul jour. Fixez-vous des objectifs par pièce, par pièce ou même par étagère. Par exemple, le samedi matin, je m'occupe du garage.

Prévoir des Moments de Repos et de Récompense

Même dans un projet de débarras, il faut savoir s'arrêter. Prévoir des pauses, déjeuner confortablement, ou même vous accorder une petite récompense après une étape bien avancée peut vous aider à rester motivé.

L'Aide : Un Allié Indispensable #debarras

Essayer de tout faire tout seul est souvent une recette pour le stress et le surmenage. Faire appel à de l'aide, qu'elle soit humaine ou professionnelle, peut transformer radicalement l'expérience.

L'Aide Familiale et Amicale : Une Option Souvent Sous-Estimée

Vos proches peuvent être une excellente ressource, à condition de bien organiser leur intervention.

Communiquer Clairement les Attentes

Avant de solliciter de l'aide, soyez précis sur ce que vous attendez. Indiquez la date, l'heure, la tâche à accomplir et la durée approximative. Cela permet à chacun de se préparer.

Motiver Vos Auxiliaires

Offrez de la nourriture et des boissons, prévoyez de la musique, et surtout, montrez votre gratitude. Un petit repas ou une soirée conviviale après le débarras peut transformer la corvée en un moment partagé agréable.

Déléguer des Tâches Spécifiques

Si certains amis sont particulièrement doués pour le tri, d'autres pour le transport, attribuez-leur des rôles adaptés.

Les Services Professionnels : Quand l'Efficacité Prime

Pour les débarras de grande ampleur, ou si vous manquez de temps ou d'énergie, faire appel à des professionnels est une solution très efficace.

Les Sociétés de Débarras : Une Solution Complète

Ces entreprises prennent en charge l'ensemble du processus, du tri à l'évacuation, en passant par le recyclage. C'est la solution la plus simple si le budget le permet.

Les Services de Location de Contenants

Si vous comptez gérer une partie du tri vous-même mais que vous avez beaucoup à évacuer, louer une benne ou un grand conteneur peut être une option très pratique.

La Gestion des Déchets : Un Aspect Crucial

Un débarras efficace ne s'arrête pas à vider les lieux. La manière dont on se débarrasse des objets est tout aussi importante, tant sur le plan environnemental qu'en termes de législation.

Respecter les Règles de Recyclage et de Tri Sélectif

La plupart des déchetteries et des municipalités ont des règles strictes concernant le tri des déchets. Ne pas les respecter peut entraîner des amendes et surtout, nuire à l'environnement.

Identifier les Points de Collecte Proches

Renseignez-vous sur les déchetteries les plus proches, leurs horaires d'ouverture, et les types de matériaux qu'ils acceptent. Certaines déchetteries spécialisent leur accueil : encombrants, métaux, bois, gravats, etc.

Préparer Vos Déchets pour le Tri

Si vous avez beaucoup de matériaux à trier, cela vaut la peine de les regrouper par catégorie avant de les emmener. Par exemple, tous les cartons ensemble, tous les métaux ensemble.

La Gestion des Objets Volumineux et Spécifiques

Certains objets nécessitent une attention particulière.

Les Meubles et l'Électroménager

Ces encombrants doivent souvent être déposés dans des déchetteries spécifiques ou font l'objet de collectes ponctuelles organisées par votre commune.

Les Produits Dangereux

Les peintures, solvants, produits chimiques ou batteries ne doivent jamais être jetés avec les ordures ménagères. Il existe des filières de collecte dédiées pour ces substances.

La Destruction de Documents Confidentiels

Si vous débarrassez des documents contenant des informations personnelles ou sensibles, assurez-vous de les détruire correctement (déchiquetage, incinération sécurisée) avant de les jeter.

Nettoyer et Ranger Après le Débarras : La Touche Finale

Une fois que les objets indésirables ont quitté les lieux, l'espace peut encore sembler brut. La phase de nettoyage et de rangement finalise le processus et rend l'espace vraiment agréable.

Redonner Leur Propreté aux Espaces Libérés

Le débarras a souvent mis à jour des saletés accumulées.

Le Nettoyage en Profondeur

Passez l'aspirateur, lavez les sols, dépoussiérez les étagères et les murs. Si nécessaire, faites un nettoyage plus poussé des tâches ou des moisissures.

L'Aération des Pièces

Ouvrez les fenêtres pour laisser l'air frais circuler. Cela permet d'éliminer les odeurs stagnantes et de créer une sensation de renouveau.

Réorganiser et Optimiser l'Espace Restant

Maintenant que l'espace est vide et propre, il est temps de le réorganiser.

Repenser l'Agencement

Voyez comment vous pouvez utiliser au mieux l'espace libéré. Peut-être qu'un meuble peut être déplacé, ou qu'une nouvelle étagère serait utile.

Mettre en Place un Système de Rangement Efficace

Si vous avez décidé de garder certains objets, assurez-vous qu'ils sont rangés de manière logique et accessible. Utilisez des boîtes, des paniers, des étiquettes pour maintenir l'ordre.

Évaluer et Ajuster

Après quelques semaines, évaluez si votre nouvelle organisation fonctionne. N'hésitez pas à faire de petits ajustements si quelque chose ne convient pas. Le but est de créer un espace qui vous facilite la vie au quotidien.

I have just published a piece called “To Dig Where I Stand” on Marshall on Policy. It is not an essay on housing, infrastructure, energy, governance or any other policy topic, in away it's about all of them. It attempts to answer a question that I had not realised readers were asking:

“What exactly are these essays trying to do?”

The answer eventually led me to identify three principles that seem to have emerged from the writing itself:

• Understanding comes before prescription. • Sequencing is substance. • Relationships create outcomes.

They seem to have been present, sometimes only as undercurrents, in my essays about music, infrastructure, landscape and governance, long before I recognised them explicitly. Some assumptions run deep. Discovering them requires a degree of intellectual honesty, and perhaps a little perseverance.

That raises an intriguing possibility. Perhaps an essayist does not invent a method so much as discover one, much as a river discovers its course.

Update from the “should I start a YouTube channel” saga, for the three of you following along. Short version: I was about to make a common mistake, and a boring research afternoon talked me out of it.

Key takeaways

• “Topics I like that seem to do well” is a list of the most contested ground on the platform.
• Look at demand and competition together, not at what already looks successful.
• A beginner's only real edge is a niche with real search demand and weak, dated coverage.
• Low competition can also mean low demand. An empty niche is sometimes a warning, not an opening.

The mistake I almost made

The mistake was going to be personal finance. I like the topic, I know a fair amount, and every video I admired seemed to be in that world. So obviously I would make one too. This is how most channels are born and also how most channels die, and I could not see the problem from inside my own enthusiasm.

Why “topics I like doing well” is a trap

“Topics I like and see doing well” is a list of the most contested ground on the platform. The videos I admired were doing well despite brutal competition, made by people who had been at it for years with budgets I do not have. Walking into that as a beginner is not a plan. It is volunteering to be invisible.

Look at demand and competition together

What reoriented me was spending an afternoon looking at demand and competition side by side instead of chasing what looked successful. I used a tool to find a low-competition YouTube niche, which scans for where search interest is real but the existing coverage is thin, rather than where the big, obvious money already is. The difference between those two maps is the whole game, and I had been reading the wrong one.

The winnable niche next door

Broad personal finance was a wall: enormous demand, enormous competition, no room for a beginner. But a few sub-niches underneath it looked completely different. One specific corner, a narrow financial situation that a lot of people search and almost nobody makes good videos about, had steady demand and weak, dated coverage. That is not a smaller version of the crowded niche. It is a different, winnable niche that happens to live nearby.

A caveat: empty can mean no demand

One caution I want to keep visible, mostly for myself. Low competition can also mean low demand, and a niche being empty is sometimes a warning rather than an opening. The tool shows you where the gap is. It does not promise the gap is worth filling. That judgment, and whether I can actually make something good in that corner, is still on me.

The decision

I have not filmed anything yet, so this is a decision story, not a success story. The decision is that my first ten videos go to the narrow, underserved corner, not the broad, glamorous topic, because a beginner's only real advantage is picking a fight nobody bigger is bothering to have. If you are about to start a channel, spend one afternoon on demand and competition before you commit a year to the wrong niche.

Andreas from 82Mhz just published he is joining #Blaugust 2026. I remember I joined in 2024 and it was a fun way to keep blogging. I had an introduction post back then, and although most of it is still current, I will do a quick update here:

• I still work in construction as an estimator, and I am now considered a senior estimator in my team.
• I still love reading, and it is my main hobby, as attested by the posts on this blog. I am very much a sci-fi and fantasy reader, but I’ve been distancing myself from anything too dark or grim. I balance my reading with some fluffly romances sometimes. I’ve been better at dumping a book when it’s not working for me.
• Still an introvert and cherishing quiet time and actitivites that bring me calm: running, walking, reading, journaling, meditating and listening to music.
• I’ve started Bullet Journaling recently and it has been a big change for me. I plan on writing more about this experience. I am becoming more and more inclined to use paper and take notes by hand (I’m actually drafting this post by hand right now).
• I haven’t been playing a lot of video games lately, most of the time I will just prefer to sit down with a book. But I want to get back to some of the games I’ve started.

So for the 2026 Blaugust I want to go for the Silver Award with 15 posts in August.

I’ve been wishing to write and publish more frequently on this blog, so Blaugust is a great accountability tool to me keep me going.

Some Blaugust references I came across that inspired me to join:

• Let's do Blaugust by 82MHz
• Welcome to Blaugust by Tangent Space
• Blaugust 2026 is Coming! by Nerd Girl Thoughts

#Blaugust

31 July 2026

Visited Tobias's studio ahead of our upcoming conversation for the podcast and got to spend some time with the body of work he has been developing (he showed me nine paintings made over what I believe he said was the past eight or nine months). It's excellent, inspiring work, so I'm getting some notes down here.

Firstly, gridding; these paintings establish a conversation with gridding that isn't so much a system as it is an ongoing set of suggestions around the reactions a system might imply. A—let's say roughly nine—quadrant grid is repeatedly alluded to and yet never exists as a graspable solid framework. Even in one work where the quadrants are quite forward, hard-edged, and visible, their form-defining borderlines tilt, skew, echo, and overlap such that the effect is something like pieces of paper strewn around a flat surface or windows containing ranges of seasonal or emotional states. In fact, (and I know I'm prone to bringing him up), I sense something of Jasper Johns's Seasons (1987) etching and aquatint works (and the totality of his work more broadly speaking) in these paintings in that form seems to be mostly utilized and dilated to open the door for focus to constantly shift and for something else to appear on the surface. And that something else might hint at locatable subjects, (in working titles and early associative thoughts, Tobias mentioned words like “reservoir” and “diesel,” and I do sense a kind of lingering omnipotent noxiousness), but ultimately passes them by as it moves around in search of new formal relationships to unpack. It's not purely formal work, but it understands its way in.

Tobias mentioned Manet with regard to his ability to deploy structures around figures that create a certain leeway for perhaps more experimental whims or marks to feel justified within those structures, and I get what he means while looking at his work (although he also spoke of confronting limitations, and I think Manet's were ultimately the cause of some of his weirder and more spatially confounding and therefore more timeless paintings). But in Tobias's case, as I've already alluded to, I think his freedom unlocks from manipulating the structure itself. And therein lies a sort of twisting of subject into content and back again that makes the work generative and fresh. In paintings beyond the aforementioned most delineated one, the grid collapses, rotates, curls, disintegrates, compresses, duplicates, and glitches. In these ways, one of the main elements being constantly negated is rigidity. Which is further enforced by the mostly pale, subdued, often muddy, deceptively gentle palette. I say deceptively because the work doesn't read as gentle to me, but it does read as unified by a considered sensitivity.

More thoughts to come, but that's a start.

29 July 2026

“The General” by Bernadette Mayer, from The Old Style Is Finding out Something about a Whole New Set of Possibilities (1966-70)

Later in secret Later in secret the general Bends to remove something To lean against a fresco. The rules which run Around the walls The walls of court Determine a course, Declare if he had not:

Sulphur and pitch, sulphur and lead, sulphur and gum mastic, sulphur and varnish, mixed with the husks of pine-kernels, sawdust, isinglass, shells of snails, husks of beans, and seed of myrtle.

From here any direction is shown. The woods must be razed — resumption of growth The market growing, profusion, the question To hold — to hold Parts or acts in the act of disintegrating wholly. A sign over the hull — the evening In a complex of other evenings Behind the intervening ledge, the general.

I like to put parameters into Google and have it present me with a question that I might not come up with myself. It allows me to think about things that I might not normally. Today's question is as follows:

“Imagine a new global law mandates that every citizen must publicly wear a digital badge displaying the exact percentage of how much they actually like the person they are currently talking to.

How would your relationships change? Would you avoid people? Would it destroy polite habits in interactions?”

I am not sure that I'm going to answer these questions exactly, because I think the idea behind them is more intriguing. Psychologically, how would that change us? Could it be a positive change? Could it be a negative change? I think it would be an intriguing change.

We would have to become comfortable in our skin. I suppose it could go the exact opposite way considering how daft we can be, but if a generation grew up from the start having that and not being encouraged to ensure that they succeed in popularity, it could possibly be a pretty positive thing. I mean, unless someone is extremely good at acting, we have an instinct of whether a person likes us or not. We ignore it. This would force people to acknowledge it. But it would also allow people to no longer mask. Perhaps it would allow for greater professionalism. Perhaps it would help us become less insecure. Then again it could force more insecurity upon people with this abundant need to be liked that exists today.

Maybe I should answer the questions as opposed to just letting my mind wander off in a million directions like I tend to do. How would it change my relationships? I think it would make my relationships more honest in some cases, but in others I don't think it would change them at all. If anything it might give the person reassurance that, “Hey I actually enjoy your company.” In the ones where the score might be lower than the other person expects I think it would open up that opportunity to talk about why. Perhaps it would make communication better for most people since we tend to avoid those topics. I think most people are afraid of the answers they might receive.

I rather like the idea, since it would grant opportunity for self-growth. I don't like the idea because I think it would further numb our own awareness. Which perhaps brings about another question as we become more technically inclined. What trade-offs are worth trading off? Is easy access to such knowledge worth the loss of an instinctive comprehension? And would it feed our negative or our positive impulses?

For me, any question that is like this is not about the immediate or secondary or third possibilities. I prefer to look long range and then come backwards from the furthest point out that I can think of. We can't know what shifting any one thing is going to cause because there will be elements that come into existence that we never thought of before, and that will have pivotal changes in our course. But we can ponder beyond the immediate as far as risk versus reward goes and try to contemplate and comprehend the shifts across a wide spectrum.

I think one of the things that would probably happen is people would try to place such a thing on animals and then would get upset if their cat or dog doesn't like them in a moment. I wonder if they would take it out on the cat or dog versus figuring out why. People are so poor at figuring out why and trying to communicate and comprehend a different perspective, that I think it could really bring up some issues across a vast majority of people.

Would I avoid people? I already avoid people. 😹 I don't think it'd have an effect on the number of my interactions. Though from a curiosity standpoint, I would possibly engage with more people just to observe the like/dislike perspective. Yes. I can see how I could become amused by that for a short term if I'm being honest with myself. Reactions would likely sway how quickly I got bored. I find constant engagement with people to be exhausting as is. I think it'd be interesting to see the awareness form between perceived likability/popularity and reality in various persons. It'd also be interesting to witness how that factor might shift and affect things. There's a lot of possible parameters involved. It could be interesting to watch the birthing of awareness.

Would it destroy polite interactions and habits? I think it would evolve them. What would be interesting would be if a person were capable of masking well enough to throw off the measurement. If not, networking would become an absolute riot.

The more I think about it, the more options of what could occur flutter through my mind. It would certainly create a very different world than we live in now. Would it be for the better or worse, I do not know. How adaptable are we at that psychological level? Would it evolve our thinking and perception of others and self? Would it increase popularism or force it into extinction? Would everything lay somewhere in between? Would we have to become comfortable with being uncomfortable? It would be a very exciting experiment to run with persons willing to submit themselves to it. Especially when we consider the lie we tell ourselves of how we are being perceived quite often.

I think the question that I would be even more interested in seeing placed and hearing the response to would be if we looked into the mirror would we then get a result of how much we like or dislike ourself? And if that percentage number was accurate, would it encourage us to shift and like ourselves more? Curiouser and curiouser. I would be interested to see how much I like myself. I think I like myself somewhere around 90% or above. There are a few things that I would like to improve upon, but overall I have learned to be someone who I enjoy. I would like to see if that's true or not. Could I be lying to myself? Oh the questions that this brings up.

How about you? What do you think of such an event? And how much do you like yourself? Do you even know? Dun. Dun. Duuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn...

Written August 1, 2026. © 2026 AnOublietteofThought.

Eu nem acredito que estou fazendo isso em pleno ano de 2026, quando a IA está no seu momento mais supervalorizada e quando todos os olhos estão voltados para a facilidade que ela nos impõe.

Para começar, eu não sou uma anti-tecnologia – eu to muito longe disso (se é que posso voltar a ter o direito de usar travessão sem acharem que o texto é do chat). Atualmente trabalho como social media gerenciando minha própria agência de marketing digital, mas um dia, num passado tão tão distante (digamos uns 10 anos atrás?) me via formada em jornalismo escrevendo textos enormes e decorando livros ainda maiores. A pergunta é: aonde foi que eu me perdi?

Voltando ao assunto, o ano é 2026 e me vi nos últimos tempos sedenta por ler textos reais. Aqueles que são escritos por gente real, com erros reais, com pensamentos que vão e voltam. E, no meio de tanta criação de conteúdo que me vejo fazendo no Instagram para ajudar outras empresas a crescerem no digital, dentro de mim um sopro: e se a gente voltasse a fazer textão? Daqueles que ninguém mais lê. Daqueles que só lê quem realmente gosta de textão verdadeiro, feito à mão.

Pois bem. Deus tem seus jeitinhos de falar comigo. E cá estou eu, num sábado chuvoso, 7 da noite, com meu filho recém dormido no meu colo abrindo um blog para criar textos e conexões sobre assuntos que me vem à mente.

Da maternidade ao mundo digital, da vida cotidiana à fé. Vocês vão ver de tudo aqui… só não vão ver texto de IA. Porque Deus me teceu no ventre da minha mãe com um dom que não posso deixar desperdiçar em 2.200 carácteres de legenda do insta.

Bem-vindos ao meu mundo sem cortes.

Com amor,

Kyane Vives.

I’m thinking about the YouTube video that I was watching again that at one point talked about the different kinds of love according to an old study, there were things about passion, things about practicality about competition and so forth. I matched with someone today that I feel like I have pretty good synergy with communication style-wise. I wonder if this is something that I can hope for an a partner or if it’s one of those unimportant goals.

A creator I follow built a series around a single recurring on-screen host. The host was the identity of the whole thing, the reason viewers came back. The problem showed up once the series scaled: producing a believable, consistent host for every episode meant either filming the same person on a strict schedule forever or accepting that any shortcut left the host looking slightly off, usually because the mouth did not quite match the words. A series lives or dies on consistency, and the specific detail that kept breaking that consistency was lip sync.

This is a real constraint for any content built around a recurring presenter or character. The host is the brand, so every episode has to look right, and the thing viewers notice first when it does not is speech that does not match the mouth. Getting that consistently correct, episode after episode, is exactly where a series-based format gets expensive and fragile.

Why consistency is hard to sustain

A recurring host is only an asset if it looks the same and reads as believable every time. Filming that consistently means a person and a schedule that never slip; any generated shortcut that gets the lip sync wrong undercuts the identity the series depends on. So creators either lock themselves into an unsustainable production cadence or watch the host quality drift across episodes.

A consistent, synced host every episode

What makes a series-based format sustainable is a tool that produces the same host with the mouth matched to the script, every time. That is part of what Leadde.ai does: you can generate an avatar from a single photo or use a built-in presenter, lock in that host, and produce each episode from a script with the speech synced to the delivery. Because the host is generated rather than filmed, it looks the same in episode fifty as in episode one, and the lip sync is handled so each episode avoids the mismatch that usually signals a shortcut. A correction is editing text and regenerating, not reshooting, and support for a wide range of languages lets the same host front the series in more than one.

Where it fits for series and character-led content

The uses are concrete. A creator sustains a recurring on-screen host across a long series without an endless filming schedule. A brand keeps a consistent presenter across a content program. A channel produces the same host in more than one language while keeping the identity intact. In each case the format depends on consistency, and the tool supplies a host that stays believable episode after episode.

Where it falls short

Being straight matters, because this is a synthetic host. It reads as generated on close attention, so for content where a genuinely human, filmed presence is the whole appeal, film a real person. It suits clear, spoken delivery more than expressive or physical performance, where the limits show. And you should only build a host from an image you have the right to use, with a real person's likeness requiring their consent, and never use it to make someone appear to say something they did not agree to. A consistent synthetic host is a fine creative choice; impersonating a real person is not.

A small first test

Don't rebuild the whole series on it. Produce two or three episodes with a consistent generated host on a free tier, using a face you are entitled to use, and check whether the host holds up believably across them, lip sync included. If a consistent, synced host stays convincing episode to episode, it is worth using for the series, and your recurring format stops depending on a filming schedule that never slips.

Until this month (July 2026), I was very hesitant to claim the term “disability pride”, as I don’t see autism or any other form of disability as something to be proud of. However, especially with the recent government attacks on disability access and programs, I can’t skimp on embracing whatever helps anymore.

I didn’t get diagnosed until nine and, before that, the only special ed help that I received was a program mostly for kids in broken homes in a retired principal’s house. But since that went only to the first grade, my mother homeschooled me for second, and the beginning of third, grade. However, just sitting doing a bunch of book- and paperwork lessons all day has never connected with my way of learning. That’s always been more my mother’s way of learning, and I think she assumed that just because I’m her daughter, I would automatically learn in the same way. She also couldn’t accept that I’m not the straight-A student that she was.

Special projects, art, and special demonstrations have always been more my way of learning. I can remember my mother doing exactly one project with me, and that was after I finished reading Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House on the Prairie. We made a replica of the house in Kansas out of a bunch of paper towel rolls with the roof and family out of cardboard cutouts—the latter, which my mother copied from illustrations in the book. My mother then insisted on putting all of the family cut-outs inside of the house replica and sealing it with the roof. She also wouldn’t cut out a door in it as she didn’t want me to reach back in to take them out.

I didn’t receive any special education at Shirley Elementary, my school in Arkansas. Since it was in a rural town, I’m not sure that Shirley even had much of a special education program. The only thing I remember closest to that was when *Mrs. Blanken, the counselor who tested me to make sure I was ready to be placed in a third-grade classroom. I believe that I was earning mostly C’s, so I wasn’t doing super badly. But, also considering the abuse that I was still enduring at home plus my parents’ separation and subsequent divorce, I never felt as if I really learned much from there.  I also hadn’t been diagnosed just yet.

It wasn’t until after my grandparents got me diagnosed at nine that I was able to receive the learning center assistance in subjects that I was the weakest in: math and reading comprehension. I didn’t connect with either one at all back then. Today, my reading comprehension and critical thinking skills are no contest to what they used to be. Although if you were to make me do a reading comprehension assignment now, I would still have to look back at the text to make sure I’m getting all of the important information and that I’m remembering everything right.

I was also in speech therapy through my school for almost three years, which I found very helpful, at least in the short term. Unfortunately, though, it didn’t help with my stress stammering in the long run. Though I sometimes also stammer when I haven’t verbalized in a little while. I hate it when that happens, too! Though I’ve found that warming up my old choir voice to my car music really helps me keep that in check.  I didn’t realize until very recently that music is also a sensory seeking thing for me.

However, the special education class that helped me the most was my Job Club class in high school. It prepared me for basic interview, and on-the-job etiquette, for considering the entirety of a job description before deciding whether to apply. And then, wearing our “uniform” of black pants and a white shirt, we would go out on mini unpaid internship-like fieldtrips to practice working. Usually with minimum-wage jobs like stocking, cleaning/busing tables, and helping out in food court restaurants. Though they “promoted” me to assisting a local elementary school art teacher when I told them that I was hoping to do that after college.

I believe that it’s partly thanks to my Job Club class that I’m the dedicated employee that I am today. That and I come from a family with a very strong work ethic.

It scares me that, without all of the special education assistance and therapies that I did have, I probably would’ve been thrown in an institution. It scares me that that could be the future for kids with disabilities again. That they will grow up being deprived of those rights, deprived of their sense of humanity, and deprived of their sense of individuality, not knowing the freedoms that my generation has been very fortunate to have. Which is what JFK and others, like Judith Heumann, worked so hard, even put their very lives on the line, to ensure wouldn’t happen again.

This is why disability advocacy is needed now more than ever. And why I consider myself to be one now.