Want to join in? Respond to our weekly writing prompts, open to everyone.

from Random Notes

I'd probably just waste it.

Instead, I'm embracing that constraint (and others). That, in turn, makes me focus and actually get stuff done. Maybe not everything I want or even would like to do, but whatever I have to do.


from tmo


Finally went through my wardrobe and decided what I ACTUALLY wear and what just sits there on the shelf. Suffice it to say, I have some clothes I am donating to The Thrifty Hanger. Now I have one, nice neat pile of duds (clothes) for Summer and Winter sitting on the floor of my closet (because I have to do laundry).

More on decluttering: I am ridding myself if the backpacking tarp. I may not even sell the thing. I may just GIVE it away or THROW it away seeing as the thing is not even sealed and I cannot really sell it for any decent amount of money for a tarp that cannot even keep the rain out. The Leica Sofort camera stays. I like it too much. Even as just a shelf decoration (because the picture quality sucks).

Tax season is upon us, and I will probably be having some money come back to me, so that means I have to decide on what I willing DO with that money. I know that the people who I need to pay back $$$ to will be paid back BEFORE my tax money arrives. So by the time my tax check comes, I will just have it to spend on myself (whatever the amount may be). I actually do not like money at all. Wish I didn’t have to fucking hassle with it all the time. Like, give me a boatload if it so it isn’t a damn problem or give me an option to live a money-free life. This concept is lost in the sauce in the First World.

Anyway, be back in a bit


from Dino’s Journal

Back in October of 2019, I had the clutch replaced on my daily driver, a 2013 Mazdaspeed3. The clutch started to slip as I neared 90,000 miles on the odometer. From then on, it just started to slip more and more. All I could do at that point was to get the clutch replaced. Here is a list of parts that I had to purchase to get it replaced.

From RockAuto:

From EdgeAutoSport:

  • 6 × Mazda OEM Flywheel Bolt Mazdaspeed 3 2007-2013 | Mazdaspeed 6 2006-2007
  • 1 × Mazda OEM Clutch Release Fork Mazdaspeed 3 2007-2013 | Mazdaspeed 6 2006-2007
  • 6 × Mazda OEM Clutch Pressure Plate Bolt Mazdaspeed 3 2007-2013 | Mazdaspeed 6 2006-2007

Couple of notes on the choices of parts.

  • EdgeAutoSport does sell a Mazda OEM Clutch kit, however as I mentioned in a previous journal entry, I have learned that LUK is an OEM parts manufacturer from Germany. So their parts should be as good as OEM parts, if not better.
  • EdgeAutoSport only sells the Mazda OEM Dual Mass Flywheel, which is very expensive. I decided to go with the cheaper LUK Dual Mass Flywheel from RockAuto.
  • The LUK Clutch Kit, unlike the Mazda OEM Clutch Kit, doesn't come with the flywheel bolts and pressure plate bolts, so I had to get those separately from EdgeAutoSport.
  • The LUK Clutch Kit and Dual Mass Flywheel combo is actually a very good combo. I would even say it is an upgrade over the OEM setup. The clutch pedal was noticeably lighter which makes for a more comfortable daily driving setup.
  • The clutch release fork was something that the service tech recommended I get, since I was getting the clutch replaced anyway. People on forums don't seem to be getting this one though, so you might be able to get by without having to buy this one.

#Cars #Mazda #Mazdaspeed3


from inquiry

> Such is our work, too.

I get the feeling it's less about us doing something (“work”) than to not see what isn't as though it were.

> Instead of REacting to life’s circumstances, and > (foolishly/incorrectly) saying the world is happening TO > me, ACTing on my surroundings and (intelligently/correctly) > saying the world is happening FOR me! > > This is the approach I am taking moving forward into 2020

I'm in favor so long as it facilitates your posting here.

> Today I am 71 years old, plus one day.

Now that I'd never have guessed!

> Is it inappropriate to just type “lol” on and > have it be my title and blog post? I sometimes feel the > need to sub-blog something I see on the WWW, and have no > sosh to do so, so perhaps I can just “lol-it” on the > ole w.a every so often when I am amused (or disgusted) > with a service or body of content on the Internet?

I'm under the impression pretty much anything goes but violations of principles.

Oh my God, “Oats & Blueberries” is one of the most beautiful things I've ever read here.

> (except inquiry, who I consider to be a decent fella)

Oh, wow. That's very nice to know. Thank you!

> But it isn’t just the lack of response, no comments > section, or link with which to find me and send me their > take on what I have written – but the interface of w.a > and having nothing else that possibly COULD distract me > from saying what I want to say is the draw of the service, > I believe.

I can't remember the last time I actually typed directly into the posting buffer.

I run a command from a bash shell within a tmux window within the Chromebook Linux “terminal” application that opens a file in the vi(m) editor, then prompts for a URL after I quit the editor.

After that, I open in one browser tab, then an empty tab in which I press Ctrl-o, which opens an “open file” dialog. Double clicking on the file I edited puts a copy of it in the now no-longer-empty tab, where I Ctrl-a/Ctrl-c to copy it, Ctrl-w to kill that tab, then Ctrl-v the text into the post buffer, after that I click on that right-arrow-ish symbol that results in the post.

Then I Ctrl-a/Ctrl-c in the browser URL/search bar, then Ctrl-v that in the aforementioned URL prompt, which appends the post to a file intended to accumulate my posts, complete with their URL and a timestamp.

I suppose it sounds like a lot of work, but it seems to be the most efficient way given copying an entire file's worth of text from a vi(m) session is a hassle when there's more than a page worth (unless there's a magic command/keystroke that can put the entire content into the copy/paste buffer..?). I tend to despise struggling/fumbling with the trackpad when definitive keystrokes work far better for me.

> Marriage is born of pure sex, never made by deadly hex.

Oh yeah? Then how do you explain 0xdeadbeef?

> To be honest, I don’t know why the cards were dealt > this way, and I remain positive, but, it is atrocious > that my life gets siphoned away into nothingness while > everyone else ...basically wastes their time with frivolous > shit. This is probably another reason I so deeply adore > the desolate, painful genre of Black Metal. It makes me > happy that so many other people out there are in a boat > similar to mine. Some people have lives of isolation > and depression, and I fall into the category of one of > those people. I don’t know why. After years, I stopped > caring why.

Life is a craps table whose house – you know, the only one that wins – is entropy.

Stay healthy, keep your mind as empty of drama (i.e. stories of selves) as possible, learn, enjoy your minimalism, find mentors with the power to make things possible for others, i.e. those in the “who” class of the phrase “it's not what you know, it's who you know”.

And, most importantly (I'm somewhat joking while somewhat not), listen to nothing but Beatles songs for the next two years....

> I still spin some upbeat, fun tracks every so often > (such as stuff from JJAMZ, Great Grandpa, Hop Along), > But mainly it’s darker stuff these days.

The darker stuff reference has me remembering days of borderline worshipping Depeche Mode's “Ultra” and “Exciter” albums.

> They cover the revelations about why the Jewish people > have been persecuted through the ages (you always wanted > to know, didn’t you?)

I could be wrong, but to me it's seemed a special case of how the dumber of the species tend to want to mock – if not persecute/bully – those they (somehow) perceive as more intelligent than themselves.

> This newsletter thing is part of an effort to become more > in line with the slow web, which is basically a way to stop > the firehose of information and opinions we see every time > we look at out phones.

Huh. I'd somehow not heard of that before.

> Maybe the explanation from the Frys corporate office is > valid. Maybe their shelves are empty because they’re in > the process of changing their business and supply model > and maybe the transition is taking a bit longer than anyone > would like.

Three maybe's is some pretty impressive generosity given what we probably can guess.

> We street-proof our kids. Why aren't we data-proofing them?

Perhaps because it became politically incorrect to actually parent much at all at least 40 years ago?


from tmo

New Things

(Ok this blog post will admittedly be all about ME)

I wish I were a freak. Like some kind of holistic “soul freak” that had head-to-toe tattoos and howled at the moon in Hawaii without a single possession to my name. One of those oddball folks. I know of people who are like this (people I have seen on the Internet), but I do not know any of them personally. I suppose moving to Hawaii (lots of fruit, sunshine, fresh air, stars at night, and nice beaches (obvs)) wouldn’t be that difficult. The head-to-toe tattoos on the other hand would be very difficult to manage to get done. The howling at the moon is a possibility, too. Being possession-less, I am damn near already there. Haha!

Now, in 2020, everyone in my family has more or less decided to live their best lives. To do what they want to do, and not let anything hold them back. Some people are doing this better than others, I must say. And in all honesty – now that I am no longer going to be burdened (I use that term loosely) with college, I could/can/will live my best life! I do not see why not.

But I must do a re-evaluation first. BEFORE the thing I “really wanted to do” more than anything was to get an AA degree. This proved to be impossible because of the financial strain. I am not rich. In fact, I am quite poor. And financially I cannot swing a college education (though I am “wicked smart”).

So “Plan B” more or less, was to move somewhere exciting. Somewhere fresh and free with a LOT of nature. Most certainly not a city. And not anywhere outside of the United States (kind of a hassle for long term living, imo). Hawaii it could be?

I am going to dwell on this. More later.


from tmo

3.5 Hours Until A Memoriam Post (or this can be the memoriam post)

In 3.5 hours it will be midnight, January 20, 2020. On the afternoon of January 20, 2019 my father passed away peacefully at St Anthony’s Medical Center in ICU. He was surrounded by many people incl us, his immediate family. Tomorrow, in rememberance (spelling?) we are going to a night Italian restaurant to...just be together. He was Irish, though, so he would probably like to see us go to McCormicks Bar or something, but we are not going to do that. Haha.

He’s a good guy and had a good passing in terms of the amount of people who poured their hearts out to him before he went. And he had a HUGE turnout at his wake, as well as for his funeral.

I have written extensively about him and his life and his passing in blog posts dating back a year or so ago, here, on this blog. So I cannot realize summarize or “re-hash” everything that he meant to me. The family is doing a lot better than from a year ago, I can tell you that. 2019 was a time for mourning and grieving, 2020 a year for celebrating and moving forward. Indeed it is.


from M. Roy - Stories. Not a blog.

*This is a post from long ago. Maybe six months or so. Enjoy, but take everything in it with a grain of salt. Nothing has been edited, revised, etc.

(Dream-01TheLion's_Blood) – 2:52am

I had a passive dream with chaotic undertones. By this, I mean that the dream setting itself was passive, but the events in it were not. I woke up about an hour ago, confused and horrified, and decided to record everything before I forgot. I don't know why, but as bizarre as this dream is it feels somewhat important.

This is going to be every Freudian-psychoanalyst's wet dream.

Here goes nothing.

My stepfather took me to a restaurant that belonged to a Salvadorean woman who I (now) believe was his mother or aunt—someone he knew and admired. The restaurant looked rather cold and put together, if you consider the new McDonald's restaurant style that began popping up a couple of years ago -nice-. It was dark outside, and my stepfather and I were running away from snakes which -he- had brought into -my- house. There were at least six (or ten) of them, all in various sizes and colors, and my (poor) mother was left behind to take care of getting them out of the house. My siblings weren't there. I feel like it's important to mention that. It was just -my- mother, myself, and my stepfather (who took me away from home) in -my- home.

My mother was absolutely fantastic in this dream. She protected -me- from all of the snakes and took them out of the house as we discovered them. They never tried to bite her, but they did squirm and hiss when she picked them up and tossed them as far as she could from our home. Our house was bright and clean—safe and comfortable, but in active war mode against the original sinners.

Then my stepfather came in and took me away.

When we sat on a table, the woman made slight conversation and served -me- a (white) plate of rice and beans; but there was barely anything to eat. I could have probably counted the rice and beans in less than fifteen minutes if I'd wanted to; it was that meager. Chunks of cheese (mozzarella, I believe) were also hastily thrown around the dish to give it the appearance of being full, but even that didn't do much. In my waking life, I love eating rice and beans, so I -somehow- began suspecting that something wasn't right when this dish popped up. I was proved right -literally- seconds later.

The beans and rice disappeared, and the woman brought in an oval plate filled with -meat- that looked like a horrified face sculpture made out of ground beef. A watered-down version of tomato sauce covered it (it was actually blood) and she cut a piece and fed it to me before I could protest. I swallowed the stupid thing without much effort and moments later, the woman told me that what I had just eaten was lion -meat-.

I don't know why, but that horrified me. Eating that lion's flesh and -meat- horrified me. I can't describe it. It was sickening. Absolutely sickening. I have had far worse and more chaotic dreams than this, but the idea of eating something that was so powerful, yet endangered just, ugh. It fucked me up. I wanted to wake up, but I couldn't, so the dream continued and got worse. There was a time loop. That's the only way I can describe it. I was in that restaurant and then I was magically back -home-. I had no concept of how I ended up there, but then again no one ever knows how travel works in dreams. Well some might, but...

The house was dark now. A faint light remained and -my- mother was struggling with one (final) snake. She asked me for help and as terrified as I felt, I grabbed the -yellow- snake with my hand and tugged. I tugged so hard it began to hurt her (the snake). She latched onto my younger brother's neck and wouldn't let go. The medium part of its body was wrapped around itself like a cinnamon roll and my mother held onto my younger brother, who was terrified, for dear life. Its muscles contracted with the effort of latching on and it bit down harder. My brother screamed and my mother panicked. I wanted to pass out.

I grabbed the snake's head and pried it open somehow. I don't remember how I did it, but the snake released, and my mother grabbed its head while I held onto its tail and we both tugged. She ripped the snake's head and I tore its body into pieces. Blood splattered everywhere and just like that it was over. I woke up with my legs and feet snugly wrapped around my comforter, dazed and confused. Horrified, because I had eaten lion -meat- and relieved because the snakes couldn't get me anymore.

The irony of it all? I have a snake tattoo on my right arm that stretches from the top of my forearm to about a fourth of the way down my hand.

They are one of my favorite animals.

M. Roy


from tmo

Listening to more music, having coffee, wanting tobacco

Lmao, I am out of tobacco, yet again. I think my package from arrives tomorrow, but I am not sure. Will be nice when it gets here.

Been kind of a “nothing day” hasn’t it? I naturally assume days like this come around every once in a while for everyone and I don’t mean like one person is having an exciting day while someone else is having a bland/boring day, but that EVERYBODY is experiencing the same blandness on such and such day. Odd way to look at it, I guess.

Anyway, I have nothing mythical to add to the conversation today. Just dropping in.


from tmo

Is Jimmy Kimmel, Ellen Degenres, Fallon, etc. super-popular or am I using YT wrong?

I honestly haven’t watched a late night clip in damn near five years, but YT things I can’t get enough of them because it is all it ever recommends for me.

Whatever. Out of my hands.

Today has been a day of listening to (my neighbors) muffled country music through the ceiling and driving me fucking nuts.

I’m going nowhere with this. See ya later.


from (Voorheen) van Voorbijgaande Aard

Ik ben over mijn slaap heen. Dat is raar want ik was goed op weg. Nu moet ik weer naar dat onzichtbare punt. De top van de weg naar de slaap. Ik weet niet hoe dit punt er uit ziet. Ik lig op mijn knieën op de vloer. Ik pak een stofje op, bekijk het, leg het terug, stap er over, niks. Dat was het dus niet. Ik haal mijn tablet uit de beschermhoes, het over de slaap punt kan tussen tablet en de hoes zitten. Ik geef een licht tikje op tablet en de hoes maar er valt niks uit. Ik zet toch een stap over niks. Ik word niet opeens moe. Ik zap, ik drink thee, ga naar de wc, ga van de stoel naar de bank maar de slaap vind ik niet. Ik zoek op internet. Waar is de slaap als je d'r overheen bent? Ik surf langs websites met matras reclame, promotie voor appneu de app tegen apneu, kijk slaap tv op Joubuis, lees informatie over slaap verwekkende medische middelen zelfs daar word ik niet slaperig van. Ik kijk de wanhoop nabij naar het TommyTV kanaal daar heb ik mijn slaap vaak terug gevonden. Niet dat ik het punt kan herkennen maar dan is het er opeens weer. Na Tommy is er nog Family7, dat is wel echt een paardenmiddel, dan ben ik serieus radeloos. Ik zoek het punt liever ergens anders. Mijn ziggopakket heeft vele E nummers, wel vaak E16-4 nu kijk ik naar Pebble TV E 16-4 'Deze zender zit niet in je televisieabonnement. Of is de smartcard nog niet geactiveerd? Kijk op E16 hoe je dit oplost.' Mooi niet ik los nog liever zelf op. Ik ga proberen door intense concentratie de smartcard te activeren dan kan ik naar Pebble TV kijken, leuk uren kijken naar kiezelsteentjes, wat een belevenis. Het scherm geeft niks prijs. Of zouden dit zwarte pebbles in het donker zijn? Cobble TV kan ik hier jammer genoeg niet ontvangen. Het kan wel maar dan moet ik heel veel meer betalen voor een Rock TV abonnement op TV extra extra extra. Het lukt niet om de smartcard met mijn hersengolven te activeren. Door al mijn omdwalingen ben ik wel terug op de langzaam oplopende weg naar slaap. Dit komt trouwens verdomd goed uit, het is tenslotte bedtijd.


from a.nihil

or fuck your Thunbergs and other false Jesuses

Fridays for the Future, Extinction Rebellion..streets around me are full of hope and excitement for activism, young students going to demonstrations and coming back with badly designed flyers and a general conversation at workplaces and university cafeterias about that friend that has gone vegetarian or vegan. Oat milk replacing cow milk, soya and legumes taking the place of meat. There is no problem for a society to shift towards healthier and environmentally conscious avenues, but the dialogue with which we're immersed in this transition bothers me more. For now, it is mostly a narrative in the educated classes of developed nations making them united for a cause that is suitable for some armchair activism and subtle lifestyle changes in their otherwise saturated, mono-dimensional lives. This is what it feels like, something greater than themselves, a replacement to a God and money they have seen dying over the years.

Yes, money is dying in a way. It offers nothing that we don't know and the rush of making and spending money has become predictable, turning ourselves into self-optimizing machines in the process. The areas for insight in the developed world are few, almost every aspect of daily life has been made efficient with precision. This is no space for humans as it has been too desensitized, it is hard to believe that we as a species ever came from the jungle to having domesticated plants and some millennia later be where we are. In retrospect is cause for the discontent, money asks too much from ourselves to be in possession of it, and we have to drive ourselves bone dry to achieve its objectives.

This lifestyle dysfunction turned towards a very real problem of climate change creates interesting avenues for discussion and how this problem can be solved with a Utopian tinge. It is the same reasoning for the counter-cultural movements that happened in the West (I have absolute contempt for this word. West of fucking what?), coupled with the booming businesses of yoga, mindfulness and organic food. This brings me to the point, where did the opposites for all these modes of living arise in the first place? Considering India as an example, one sees that the country was introduced to fast food, economic liberalism and unchecked expansionary capitalism as a response to a globalized world view first created by the powers in the developed world. Now, the fancy pants in Europeans capitals boast about their all-grain vegan diets and lactose + gluten free milkshakes while on the other hand India gets hooked onto greasy burgers and deals with the problem of unchecked capitalism taking over the psyche of its residents.

Then comes along, conveniently, the issue of climate change and the fad of activism in the West. People dance behind wagons playing deep techno, screaming in between the need for a better planet. Sure, this activism is for the greater good. But the good has to happen within the domain of the system they are living in — the protests and demonstrations still happen in a very controlled space under the auspices of the local police and perhaps the local intelligence community. So the change first appears in form of corporate acceptance where companies greenwash at every possible instant: at bus stops signs, petrol stations and inside supermarkets while buying oranges in winter. The irony is not visible as this messaging is confirming one's own beliefs but a taking a deeper look one sees the invisible hand of capitalistic trickery in play.

A time will come when political action will be taken against polluters and new trade deals will be signed under the pretense of the environment. The rules will be written by the polluters and the blame will be shifted to all those barbaric people in the developing counties. India should not consume so much coal, Indians should not be throwing plastic in the water, Indians should not follow the American dream and buy a car and whatever the fuck they need. This would create an optimum business creating situation where the polluters find new technologies to tackle with the problem they have created in the first place. Then they will shove it down everyone's throat in a rent seeking push to fatten their bottom line and the circle exists where these rich countries become richer with the blame fair and square always on the countries that are historically poor because of colonial and economical conquests of these rich countries in the first place. It is in this context the armchair activism of the average Westerner is problematic, it aims to solve a problem without tackling the inherent system within which it functions, because who wants to let go of the luxuries of living in a hyper-capitalistic society? Capitalism always tries to find newer methods of profit generation and the climate crisis is a cow waiting to be milked and slaughtered.

The effects of this activism is not yet seen in India but for now there is rampant deforestation and a reliance on energy guzzling devices and cars. That is a symbol of prosperity and changing this view just when it has come within reach will seem hypocritical. The aims of the Thunbergs and your local café hipsters it should not involve holding colorful placards but engaging people across the world in conversations. What the climate crisis is about is essentially a problem with consciousness itself — we have at some point forgotten our origins as animals and have gone so deep in immersing our make-believe reality that we forget that the planet is a home shared between millions of species. It is not going to be solved through sanitized protests that don't involve all the stakeholders and by that it means looking beyond borders and creating a common culture of understanding and some foundation in economics.

Our enemy is not the polluters but the system itself. As people, we have a common cause ahead of us, this should not become another trope for unequal exploitation as that would be the perfect recipe for global strife. Technologies should be freed of their patents and the knowledge of our future should be free for all. Remember that the planet does not have borders, we do.



from ego echo

Zo, lekker aan het chillen? Ja-ja, chillen-ja! Fijn, maar kan het wel wat zachter? Ja-ja, chillen-ja!

Ik loop weer terug naar mijn plek op de achterste stoel in de trein. De muziek gaat inderdaad wat zachter. Ik had natuurlijk gewoon moeten zeggen dat het helemaal uit moest, omdat het kapotirritante sociale armoede is – hij keek mij niet eens aan, ook dat nog. Maar ja, je hoopt tegen beter weten op een soort zelfstandig verbanden leggend (iets met 1+1?) organisme. Dat de context op zich voldoende is om te besluiten dat je gedrag misschien enigszins aso is, met je poten tegen de leuning en je blikje energy-drank lekkend naast je.

Ach, de voordelen zijn legio hoor. Ik ben niet in elkaar geslagen door de merkwaardige heliumklinkende amoebe. Mijn vraag sorteerde in elk geval letterlijk genomen effect. En ik heb, nadat ik twee minuten zachtjes wat voor mezelf heb zitten trillen van misplaatste opluchting, mijn boek uit kunnen lezen. Dat is toch ook allemaal heel wat waard. Weet je, nog hooguit een jaar of veertig volhouden en dan heb ik er allemaal geen last meer van. Zoals Monty Python al neuriede: Always look at the bright side of life. Daarom.

Overigens, dat boek: wederom een dikke aanrader. Oorsprong (hoe de aarde de mens heeft gevormd) van Lewis Dartnell. Een duizelingwekkende combinatie van geschiedenis, aardrijkskunde, geologie, sterrenkunde, politiek en nog veel meer. Allemaal op een hoop en toch duidelijk, helder en wow! Schitterend interessant, echt. Ik weet nu alles. Terwijl ik dus dacht alles al te weten, kun je nagaan. Als ik je zo gek mag maken: lees Harari, Bregman, Kingsnorth en Dartnell. Dan roep je daarna heel hard kwartet! en moet jij eens zien hoe je wijsneus tintelt. Ga je vanzelf stevig van niezen waardoor je de ene oerknal na de andere veroorzaakt. Zoiets dan. Met een toefje zout en snotterige fantasiakorreltjes.

Goed. Laten we ondertussen, met Oorsprong in gedachten, lekker gaan slapen met de troostende gedachte dat uiteindelijk werkelijk alles gewoon allergievrije sterrenstof is.

#waanvandedag #dartnell #oorsprong #origins #boek #trein



I felt much better after chatting to Alice about everything but it was hard for even me to work out what was going on. It could be the big changes on the horizon. I am getting that feeling like I have to do something to be better. Loose weight, run, stop drinking and wanking. That sort of thing.

Or it could be the last year or so catching up with me. I have had a lot that I have dealt with. A miscarriage late 2018. Many panics throughout huggsies pregnancy and a realisation that I was suffering from PTSD. Waking up to Alice having gone to the bathroom would induce a panic attack, reliving the moments after I woke up the day pengu left us.

I have signed up to online CBT through Camden. I am interested to see what it might be like and how it might work in practice


from Juan Mirieth Auriel

The White Magician

The Foundation of the Two Towers

14 years before the opening of The White Magician (2005), I, Juan Mirieth Auriel, was in high school as a Freshman. I was in my second year of my Venus alchemical period (15 years old). Freshmen are former middle-school students who have made entry into high school. In the level of grade, all freshmen are 9th graders. The number nine also relates kabbalistically the 9th Sephiroth: Yesod (יסוד).

Here I was in English Composition I. English Composition I (One), or English I, is basically the foundation point of English Composition. I had a teacher, who goes by the name of Peter. This name is also symbolic. Peter is a Latin, masculine word for Patar, meaning rock or stone. The rock or stone is shemen/semen, the sexual force. In the biblical story of David and Goliath, David defeated Goliath using the foundation stone.

The foundation of the two towers actually began with a project regarding of Yin and Yang given unto us by Peter. Before we go any further, I will discuss a topic outside of Gnosis; however, this topic does have resourceful insights when properly utilized, yet it can be misleading if you are not very careful. My Yin-Yang project was Star Wars: Jedi and Sith.

Please see also:

At the same year, the cinematic movie called Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith was released in theaters. Another word for Magic in Star Wars is the Force. Jedi is the White Magician in Star Wars, a force-user taking the path of the light side. Sith is the Black Magician in Star Wars, a force-user taking the path of the dark side. The light side relates to white magic and white tantra. The dark side relates to black magic and black tantra. Those who walk on the straight and narrow path to final liberation is on the path of the light side. Those who turned to fornication and awakened the Abominable Mother Kundabuffer has turned to the dark side. Those who turned to the dark side walk on the path of sorcery. Jedi is the white, eastern tower. Sith is the black, western tower.

I also remember writing the famous quote on my poster board, taken itself from Revenge of the Sith by the following words (reference provided):

“You were the Chosen One! “It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them! “Bring Balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!” – Obi-Wan Kenobi

( – link to the quote starting at 2:24, ending at 2:37.

When the quote is translated non-literally, it is spoken by the following words:

“You were among the Chosen Few! “It was said that you would kill the “I”, not obey it. Recommending scientific chastity, not recommending fornication!”

This apparent message is for those who choose to renounce the path of the Razor's Sharp Edge, and walk the path of sorcery, fornication, adultery, and all forms of impurity. He who turns to the dark side has degenerated into black magic and fornication.

The Chosen One represents the selected few who walk on the path of righteousness. For all to inspire, yet some to imitate, only a few can understand this knowledge. To destroy the Sith is to kill the “I”, the Ego, Satan, sinning “I”, which is pluralized “I” is made of legion. Those who obey the “I” are worshiping their black master: the Guardian of the Threshold. To bring balance to the Force is to utilize scientific chastity for goodness and virtue. Those who recommend fornication pollute the world with continuous acts of impurity.

In the Star Wars franchise, there are six words by the following: to redeem to the light side. To redeem to the light side of the Force is to renounce black magic and black tantra, including the Black Tower, and convert oneself once again to a disciple of the White Tower. To convert oneself to a disciple of the White Lodge is to practice scientific chastity and the Arcanum A.Z.F. in order to walk the path of the Razor's Sharp Edge. An example to this is Beelzebub. Beelzebub was formerly a student of the Black Lodge, and with the help of Samael, Beelzebub defected the Black Lodge in order to be converted into the disciple of the White Lodge.

Please see also:

The tool for the Jedi and a weapon for the Sith is the Lightsaber. The Lightsaber, in the Star Wars Franchise, represents the Flaming Sword. Typically, the colors of the lightsaber used by the Jedi are green, blue, and purple. The only color of the lightsaber used by the Sith is red. The color of the White Tower (Jedi) is ultraviolet, and the color of the Black Tower (Sith) is infrared.

The power of the Jedi is similar to the White Magician. The White Magician utilizes the Seven Heavenly Virtues and Ahava (love). The White Magician utilizes his sexual energy and willpower the right way, which is peace, calmness, and goodness. The power of the Sith is similar to the Black Magician. The Black Magician utilizes only the Seven Deadly Vices and hate. The Sinning “I” only knows hate; the “I” cannot truly love. The Black Magician utilizes his sexual force and willpower the wrong way, which is violence and desire.

For the record, all of these events that I unfolded are autobiographic, and thus these events have actually happened. As of this point, I no longer have this project on hand, yet this project is my inspiration for this post.

Bonus #1: Dyad in the Force

Upon the mysteries of the 2019 cinematic release: Star Wars IV: The Last Skywalker, I have first heard of the word “dyad in the force” before typing this post. Here are the insights that I, Juan Mirieth Auriel, recently discovered.

Dyad means a group of two in Ancient Greek from the greek word: dia (two in Greek). Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) is the masculine force. Rey is the feminine force. A dyad in the force is the group of two working together in magic. Symbolically, it represents the irreversible bond of priest and priestess-spouse, created by the sexual act. The Dyad in the Force (Magic) can only be created in the immaculate sexual act of man and wife. With the dyad of the magic (or the magical bond of man and wife) in full effect, the couple can think alike, talk alike, walk alike, etc. Man and wife are merged not only physically, but also psychologically.

Please see also:

Bonus #2: Skywalker

A skywalker is an initiate who has the capability to astral-project. To skywalk is to astral-project. He who awakens his consciousness is able to skywalk into the higher dimensions. At a higher level of the Kundalini awakening (upon waking the heart chakra), he can place his whole body into the Jinn State with the proper use of sexuality. This is called White Jinn.

Bonus #3: Jedi Mind-Trick

A Jedi Mind-Trick is hypnosis. Hypnosis is not used in the White Lodge nor it is recommended to use hypnosis. When you use hypnosis on someone in order to manipulate others, it is black magic.


from (Voorheen) van Voorbijgaande Aard

Hij raakt de bal helemaal verkeerd! Hij raakte de bal aan de binnen in plaats van de buitenkant, zijn voet schoot door het leer de bal in. Zo maakt hij natuurlijk nooit een goal. Gelukkig staan die trouwens al op het veld daar heb je hem eigenlijk niet voor nodig.

Ze gaan wisselen om tijd te rekken en met succes de wedstrijd duurt voor het gevoel minstens 15 minuten langer.

Hoe werkt dat scouting apparaat? Nou, je drukt op die knop dan gaat de scout naar rechts, dan trek je aan het scoutingshendeltje dan gaat het apparaat naar voren rollen. Kijk zo, met deze toetsen combinatie gaat de scout omhoog en met dit knopje kun je de grijparm besturen, dit is de versnellingspook, hier zit de terugtrap rem, na vijf dagen intensief oefenen kun jij in principe het apparaat redelijk besturen.


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