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from Duaynekalade Parnell Bey

SIGHTLESS MIGHT:horus [partA] Pagan babies Vagrant school boys

Trap the damsel In Junior High

Christian schoolgirl Reverend's daughter

Revered position In parishioners’ eyes

Spinster’s ogle They love the preacher

His words are golden A gift from god

His offspring holy Precious angels

Meant for greatness Why do they cry?

[partB] Tears they fall To mourn the fallen

A short life span God's sacrifice

Why did this happen? That darling child

What good can come From sightless might?

[partC] The guilty trod Upon deaf echoes

Of voices pointed At the sky

Repulsive actions A lack of morals

Why are we made In this design?

[partD] Frightened eyes stare From the shadows

Escape they want But that’s denied

Hostile eyes peer Into those shadows

Ears closed off To innocent cries

Alone is painful Especially for a child Familiar to love at home

Unwanted touches The mind goes blank

Why won’t they just Leave me alone?

She screams inside! Her heart is pounding!

She prays from Hell There’s no reply

She feels the hate Disguised as loving Spoiled forever

To sightless might

[Epilogue] The guilty trod Upon deaf echoes

Of voices pointed At the sky

Repulsive actions A lack of morals

Why are we made In this design?

Copyright 2014, Duaynekalade Parnell Bey, All rights reserved

 
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from Shadi Mirza

They aren’t going to save your kid from a school shooter.

Parents, you may have seen this Facebook post kicking around your feed in the past week or so (it’s been shared close to one million times).

I’m not asking you to share it. Nor do I want you to run out and purchase a bunch of doorstops for your kids. Rather, I want you to sit and have a good, hard think about using a small, rubber object as a means of protecting your kids.

Because, baby, what is you doing?

You’re asking too much

Show me a hero and I’ll write you a tragedy. — F. Scott Fitzgerald

Okay, let’s assume the worst happens, and some crazed degenerate of a young, white male (comes barreling into your child’s school to pop off and go loco.

Ignoring everything they’ve been taught in lockdown drills, they whip open the trusty backpack, pull out a $2 doorstop and run toward the classroom door. This is the same door from which, presumably, a school shooter might emerge. To put it another way: you’re asking your kid to be a hero.

Isn’t that the exact opposite of what the doorstop is meant to achieve? Why risk putting your kid closest to where the bullets may fly?

Have you been to a school lately?

Presumably, you’ve been to your child’s school and seen the physical classroom where most of your child’s learning takes place. If so, you won’t even bother sending your kid to school with a doorstop. But let’s say you’re one of those parents who isn’t, ahem, all in.

Newsflash: The doors at every single school I’ve ever been in have opened out. Your doorstop isn’t stopping anyone.

Classrooms. Have. Windows.

Even if, by some miracle, your child’s classroom opens to the inside, and he or she manages to block the door, the kids aren’t in the clear. The funny thing about bullets is that they can go through most doors quite easily.

Also, I don’t know what kind of prison center your kids are being educated in, but I’ve never been inside a classroom that didn’t have windows. Bullets go through glass like a knife through butter.

Exercise common sense.

Before you share a Facebook post or, shudder, follow suit in equipping your kids with a fancy piece of rubber or plastic, take a few steps back from the feel-good social media machine.

This idea is stupid—especially if your motivation is increasing the chances your kids survive a shooting. Because training them to run toward the line of fire is a pretty lousy way of accomplishing that.

#Parenting #GunViolence #SchoolShootings #Éducation

 
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Anonymous

Look in the mirror See what you see Two different eyes And they're looking at me

One in the beauty One in the dark Each of them leads With a different remark

“You're not enough” “Just be who you are” “Your darkness wreaks havoc” “You shine like a star”

-

Look in the mirror ‎See what you see ‎Hide in the covers ‎Climb up a tree

Anxieties are everywhere It's giving me a scare It's something I can't bear Why do people stare?!

I can't see myself I must look again I don't remember Don't know who I am

-

Look in the mirror See what you see Two different eyes And I long to be free

Freedom is beauty Freedom is light Honesty is magic And beauty is bright

Whenever you fear I want you to see You will not be forgotten The truth will set you free

 
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from Shadi Mirza

Or “Why I ate the rotten fish”

Hongeo

People should not be protected from the world. It cripples them.” ― Josephine Humphreys, Rich in Love

While teaching English in South Korea, I watched an episode of Bizarre Foods. Andrew Zimmern, the show’s host, visited the country and sampled a lot of the same foods I’d been enjoying.

One dish that stuck out to me was hongeo.

I’d never heard of it. Basically, skate (a kind of ray fish) is stuck in a basket with some straw and left to rot. The skate pees through its skin, so the ammonia from the uric acid allows the fish to ferment instead of spoiling. 

After broaching the subject with my wife’s co-teacher, he mentioned there was a restaurant specializing in hongeo right in our small farming village. We went there that same night. 

Imagine the dirtiest port-a-potty you can think of. Now, picture putting it in your mouth. That’s what hongeo tastes and smells like.

As we were eating, my co-teacher explained that hongeo is a “nostalgia food” enjoyed by older Koreans who grew up in a time when you ate whatever fish washed up on the shore. 

I choked it all down and withheld the urge to vomit. Did I smell like urine for the remainder of the night? Yes. Was my wife so repulsed that she insisted I sleep in the other room? Naturally. 

But, knowing all this, I’d still do it all over again.

Often, we shield ourselves from uncomfortable experiences. But in doing so, we miss the chance to connect with the world around us. Worse, we fail to grow as individuals and professionals. 

Sometimes, you have to eat the hongeo.

#Korea #Food #Life #PersonalGrowth

 
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from Van Voorbijgaande Aard

Dit kan een ongeinspireerd stukje worden. Ik ben moe van t hardlopen, en ik loop niet eens hard. Ik heb honger gekregen omdat ik snert sta te koken maar dat eet ik morgen pas. Het water loopt me al in de mond, maar de erwtjes staan alleen nog maar te desintegreren in t kokend hete water.

Ben druk in de weer maar het voelt niet nuttig druk, kleine verschuivingen maken in de dag, dit aan de kant, dat daar doen en dat hier, nergens t idee dat t ergens heen gaat. Het strategisch concept mag dan zijn ten alle tijde rustig blijven en wachten, het is soms erg rustig. Dr is wel heeel veeel tijd om te zetten in omtrekkende bewegingen. Gisteren was een drukkere dag en ik heb wat mensen leren kennen. Sociaal gezien is dat een zeldzaam hoogtepunt. 5 mensen op 1 dag, das geen gewone. (yepsie, enig sarcasme, nuttig neer gezet, in de vitrine kast van de taal)

Klinkt als een goed produkt sarcasme, dat je bij de supermarkt kan kopen of een wijn winkel, heeft u een rooie sarcasme? Bittere afdronk..

Vandaag werd ik ingehaald bij het hardlopen, ik was aan t bijkomen van alle mest die mijn lijf plaagde, me doet proesten, rochelen, spugen, snotteren en toch moet ik door Dat gaat met moeite, geen pijn wel moeite, snot en zweet, ook al geen traan. Net op t laatste vetgemeste stuk kwam de loper me voorbij. Dat ligt mij niet, ingehaald worden ligt me niet, gelukkig had ik zo rustig aangedaan dat ik t laatste stuk genoeg over had voor een eind sprint zodat ik dus de loper bijhaalde. Daarna sloeg de eindsprint af en begon ik een hardloop praatje en niet lang daarna moe te worden door vocale uitputting, eigenschuld.

Dat was t, t opmerkelijkste van de dag, hopelijk niet t hoogtepunt want dan is de snert mislukt.

&

Vanavond weer voetbal, de wedstrijd van gisteren heeft me niets gebracht, verveling en wat vaker drukken op de afstandsbediening, goed ontwikkelde vingers. Beide teams deden hun uiterste best om elkaar met een uitgekiende strategie dood te vervelen, zelfs het echte spel was een dood spelmoment. We werden niet vermaakt, zij werden moe van zichzelf en het doelloos rond pulken van de bal, thuis zijn mensen gezapt, volgegeten en gedronken, afgeleid van de afleiding of hebben een 2e, 3e of 5e kind verwekt, in de slaap overleden, of gewoon in slaap gevallen (alleen gewekt door de reclame). Nee dit was een beetje sneu voor de tijd en de moeite van alle betrokkenen, van players tot voyeurs.

Voetbal op tv is zo goed als de laatst gekeken wedstrijd, dit is geen aanmoediging om vanavond weer stil te lijden onder zoveel getrap, geren en geduikel. Toch, ik ben hardleers. Broodje frikandel er bij en koppie groene thee. De geur van snert in huis..mmm. Ik verheug me nu al op die zijwegen van voetbal op tv.

Tijd om erwten te roeren, moet zo nu en dan anders raken ze ontroerd. Niet goed voor een spliterwt. Zijn ze zo gevoelig.

 
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from Naveen

Thoughts on the 2005 Korean film. Directed by Kwang-Hyun Park.

  • We are dropped right in the middle of the Korean war. Three surviving members of a North Korean unit, two South Korean deserters and an injured American pilot all find themselves in a strange village tucked away on a remote mountain where the inhabitants lead an idyllic life; they know nothing of the outside world and are blissfully unaware of the war that is raging on.

Jae-yeong Jeong plays Lee Su-Hwa, a North Korean Chief

Ha-kyun Shin plays Pyo Hyun-Chul, a 2nd Lt. from the South Korean unit

American pilot

  • The North and South Korean soldiers have a go at each other at first, and in the chaos that ensues, a grenade goes off, destroying the stockpile of corn in the storehouse and cutting off the village's food supply for a year.

  • The soldiers then decide to work together and help the village rebuild the storehouse. The rest of the film is centred around how the walls of loyalty towards the soldiers' respective nations crumble as new friendships forge. There's a lot that unravels along the way – goofy comedy, naive love, sadness, introspection on the stupidity of war, brotherhood, as the soldiers begin to drop their veneers and discover their humanity.

  • Of course the narrative isn't inventive, this is staple pacifist terrain mind you, but it was the treatment that refreshingly stood out for me. This is easily the most colourful anti-war film I've ever watched. There's an almost Disneyesque surrealism and an absurdist hue to the proceedings. Testimony to this is a scene where the soldiers and the entire village come together to kill a wild boar. Another director might have conceived this very differently, but here a seemingly simple scene borders on the fantastical, with some inventive use of CGI.

  • The acting is top-notch. Jae-yeong Jeong (Lee) and Ha-kyun Shin (Pyo) play their roles as respective North and South Korean soldiers with effective restraint. I also loved Hye-jeong Kang who plays Yeo-il, a mentally retarded girl. She revels in the comedy scenes, especially in the one where she pulls off a grenade ring, mistaking it for an actual ring, and the subsequent scene when it rains, well, popcorn.

  • This film is supposedly an adaptation of a long-running stage play, but I was constantly reminded of Le Roi de cœur by Philippe de Broca, another comic allegory about war in which a poetry-loving Scotsman is assigned the task of finding a bomb left by the Germans in a French Town that has been abandoned by everyone except the inmates of a mental asylum who crown him king. The difference here is that while the de Broca film is mostly a comedy, Welcome to Dongmakgol has so much more infused into it.

  • The last few scenes are profound in many ways, but one line that effectively encompasses the anti-war pitch is when Pyo tells Lee just when a barrage of bombs are dropped around them and certain death stares them in the eye:

If we had met somewhere else, in some other way, we would have had real fun.

#film

 
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from Duaynekalade Parnell Bey

HOLOGRAPHIC:holographicAA [part-A:] beyond the sea of darkness

and ​though the fog

wading through the murky waters

of your mental

you’ve searched for the home which you haven't entered

since before your fall

all you know is right now you don't belong with the ?

who seem to be everywhere

inside you feel that it's wrong

that you’ve been forced out of your square

and into this squalor called Babylon

where:

dysfunction is the norm

hate is the hub

ignorance is god

and all the hymns are bliss

reality is gone

everything is holographic

everything is false

[part-B:] metal mist in the clouds

nano bits in your manna

trying to cloud the eyeball above your brow

while the system clouds your logic with grammar

glamour can lead you towards a mental chasm

where echoes bounce off the walls of your skull

causing a rung to loosen on Jacob's Ladder

the serpent shed his skin and slid off

left your mouth full of froth ​ eyes wide shut

watching the blue sky fade to dark

as you escape this hologram

for the after naught

© 2014, Duaynekalade Parnell Bey, All rights reserved

 
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from Genetas

虽然近年来国内的刊物被SCI收录的越来越多,但在国际学术界真正有影响力的却屈指可数。中科院上海生命科学研究院创办的《Cell Research》算是很不错的刊物了,影响因子已经达到了15.6。但我们不能忽略的是该杂志每年刊登的Original Research Article数量不足百篇。另外还有几本杂志具有不错的影响因子,但总体说来这些杂志都只关注某个研究领域,我们还没有强大影响力的综合性期刊!

被国人甚至是全世界科研人员奉上神坛、在国际上富有盛名的的CNS(cell, nature, science)尤其是nature和science都是十足的综合性期刊,他们接收来自所有学科的研究论文和评述。医学领域的四大顶级期刊(NEJM, Lancet, JAMA, BMJ)无一例外都是综合性期刊,接收医学领域所有方向的论文。

那么问题来了,如何才能在国内创办一本高影响力的学术期刊呢?

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from Shadi Mirza

Seriously, bedrooms should not be used for punishment.

“You cannot teach children to behave better by making them feel worse. When children feel better, they behave better.” — Pam Leo

One of the many truisms about writing is that the more you do it, the better you get. I wish I could say the same about parenting. While blogging every single day has done wonders for my ego, I often go to sleep wondering if something I did or said to my eldest daughter, Nadia, has irreparably scarred her.

Fortunately, the “Parenting” topic on Quora always gives me a much-needed boost. It’s not that the parents who post questions there are “bad.” In fact, it’s the exact opposite—if you have enough humility to ask for help from other parents, clearly you care.

But this question really got me thinking a) because I’ve never had this issue and b) the solution has an Occam’s Razor-level of simplicity: if you want a break from your three-year-old, tell them to buzz off to their room for a couple of hours. If the child refuses to comply, there are deeper issues—not with your kid, mind you, but with your parenting.

Haters gonna hate (naps).

Before Nadia turned three we managed to get her into a public Montessori school. But there was a problem: this was a half-day program, so the children weren’t allowed to take naps. In fact, one of the requirements for admittance was that Nadia needed to be weaned off afternoon napping entirely.

Which was fine. From the minute she turned two, Nadia seemed preternaturally adverse to naps. You could say she hated them. Faced with the loss of those two hours to relax and watch something other than cartoons, my wife and I worried. What to do?

Enter quiet time.

This is exactly what it sounds like. You ask the child to go to their room and play independently, leaving you free to watch Netflix, read a book or do whatever.

But what if they won’t go?

Here’s the rub: if your child doesn’t enjoy being alone in their bedroom, you need to consider why. Maybe there’s nothing to do in there. Or, perhaps, you send them to their room as a form of punishment. And, thus, being alone in the bedroom makes your kid feel shitty.

Here’s why you should never, ever use the words “go to your room” as a form of punishment:

Decades of research in attachment demonstrate that particularly in times of distress, we need to be near and be soothed by the people who care for us.

But when you put your kid in “time out,” you’re essentially insisting that “they have to suffer alone.” And that sucks for them.

The bedroom is their refuge—and yours.

It also sucks for you. My heart goes out to that poor mom who went to Quora for real advice and instead got countless variations of this solution: make your kid someone else’s problem. She doesn’t need to throw money at the problem. She needs to give her kid a place to play that’s safe and fun.

Yeah, if you want a night on the town, you’re going to need a sitter. But if you just want some peace and quiet in the afternoon, that shouldn’t require forking out cold hard cash. You also don’t have to be the bad guy. Kids should love playing in their bedrooms. Some of my fondest childhood memories involve playing with, and breaking, action figures.

I mean, there was a lot of Nintendo, too, but I also played with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toys.

#Parenting #Fatherhood #Discipline #Children #Psychology

 
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from Duaynekalade Parnell Bey

REPERCUSSION:daath Sun dried hearts Dumbfounded by repercussion

Never thought that it could happen

Neutralized all open ends

Burned the evidence And vacuumed up the ashes

At times the guilt rises to the surface So they try to pretend Like everything is giggles and laughter

But behind closed doors Tears they shed

Blood runs red In all beings They found out the real way

So their days consist of looking over their shoulders Awaiting the pay back —  Trying to avoid the repercussion

But as the days grow older They tend to relax —  Because they believe the past won’t touch them

But your past foes emotions burn hot When glory is not theirs to try on

So they express the sour grapes theory Baring canine teeth Updating Aesop’s translation

To fit that space in time ​Where envy becomes indignation

And the scourge of society becomes you —  And everything that you’re about

So they have to wipe you out

©​2015 ​Duaynekalade Parnell Bey, All rights reserved

 
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from Connor Martin

Hi there. I am Connor Martin and I would like to welcome you to my little space on the web.

I am a student of History from the United Kingdom and in the ever growing technological world, I wanted to document my thoughts about the endless subject in the virtual online world, especially as I head to university to a BA (Hons) in History.

Until next time, tally ho!

Connor

 
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from Duaynekalade Parnell Bey

TOWER OF BABEL: towerofbabel

totem pole vernacular

hierarchy arrogance

foe of the faux fakes vs false

opinionated Droids wearing their skin suits

Roddy Piper they live

alive with pleasure landing on a new port

marooned under the sign of cancer

smoking on a twig it's part of a culture

dead for eons

no king to honor matriarchal the heritage

we entered the physical thru her gateway

straight from the ethers

that time is forgotten we've entered a new age turned a new page

but most are illiterate and can't read the signs

unless it's written on their foreheads

looking in the mirror the words are backwards

but they are dyslexic so it's clear day

ink stains on their pineal in the sharp of a cross

telling the world

I don't give a fuck about what you say

I'm on my own time

©​ 2017 Duaynekalade Parnell Bey, All rights reserved

 
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from Duaynekalade Parnell Bey

IRON SPINE RECOMMENDED:muur run with the wind brethren

when this hunt is over a new one begins

adults form a circle - surround the children

put their lives on the line for their next of kin

first bite hurts

but it doesn't draw any blood

the second bite burns like fire

hind leg goes numb

tumble in the dust vertebrae busts ​ribs get sliced out spill the guts

predators come alive from the blood lust

in the wild killers thrive when the heart pumps

​adrenaline

through lines where the blood runs

it's only a crime when it's done for fun

life is only real for the last one

standing

iron spine recommended

demanded

© 2015 Duaynekalade Parnell Bey All rights reserved

 
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from hopectorax

I've got this horrible habit of completely withdrawing, becoming miserable, and moping around. After some sort of conflict, I tend to totally shut down, and it's definitely noticeable by people around me.

It really bothers my girlfriend in particular as well. I've been really doing some soul-searching on this and trying to figure it out. I'd say it's a huge problem. Probably the biggest thing threatening our relationship. It makes her feel like she needs to walk on eggshells around me, it makes her feel extremely unloved, and it's sure to put her into a tizzy.

I know it's happening when it happens, and I feel trapped by it. I'm usually not successful in breaking through it and moving on, and it's really harmful. It's a horrible pattern, and it seems to happen more and more with conflict now. I can see her shields go up anytime any sort of conflict starts to arise, which makes me feel ashamed. She should feel 100% safe to be herself with me and to not worry about what my reaction is going to be at any given moment.

Some Background

In thinking through this and trying to process it, I thought back to my childhood. My parents are divorced, and every couple of weeks, I would visit with my father, usually at my grandmother's house.

More often than not, if something upset my father he would become angry. Usually this would escalate into yelling and screaming and him storming out and leaving my sister and I there with my grandmother (and usually my step mom). I'd go as far as to say this was traumatizing every time it happened.

What's Going On?

I think this has affected me in a couple of ways. I think one way is that it has contributed to my non-confrontational nature. I will avoid conflict at all costs and bottle everything up inside, which is a harmful thing to do. I'll withdraw from whoever I am having conflict with and just have minimal contact with them until I feel like I've resolved the issue in my own head. I think this stems from seeing conflict with my father escalate into such trauma. I began to associate any sort of conflict with that level of brokenness and the pain involved in it, and in an attempt to avoid those feelings, do everything in my power to not go there. This is something I've been fortunate enough to identify within myself and I've been working on changing my balance of when to avoid and when to embrace conflict.

This is harmful in a serious relationship, where conflict is sure to arise, and where my coping mechanism of avoiding it is unacceptable and cannot be employed. So I bottle stuff up, but don't withdraw to process it, and so nothing gets resolved. Once something happens where confrontation is occurring, I get into the mindset that this is going to be a big blow out fight, so I might as well just pour out everything I have inside. Which I'm sure is very jarring and surprising to those on the other end of it – stuff that shouldn't be a big deal, stuff that should have been resolved ages ago (or things that I've sworn up and down I was over), and stuff that I didn't even know was an issue come spilling out.

Ironically, my way to then resolve the conflict is to stop participating and totally withdraw. This leads to not having any sort of actual resolution, no shared understanding, nothing beneficial. Just a wake of hurt behind me, a pair of people with hurt feelings, and no real reconciliation. So I then become miserable and withdrawn – I've been told I just become a shell. I know I'm not pleasant to be around when I'm like that, and I know that it's harmful, but I never really understood what was going on before so I couldn't even really counteract it. It's just the sort of thing I need to wait out (apparently very predictably too – once this happens, my girlfriend can mark the “back-to-normal” day on the calendar, and as long as nothing re-triggers me in the interim, it tends to hold true).

A Misguided Act of Love?

Another way I think this affected me was it teaching me that abandonment followed conflict. There would be this big blow out fight, and then my father up and left and abandoned the mess. I hated that.

So when this happens, I don't want to inflict that on people I love. So I don't take a timeout, I don't leave, and I just cling harder to the person I've just had a fight with. In my mind, I've created (or heavily contributed to) a whole mess of hurt, and it would be more unloving for me to just abandon the situation at that point. Now, maybe this is true. But when you mix that with my new state of mind, one in which I feel trapped in being angry, hurt, and like I need to maintain a rift in the relationship, it becomes very damaging. I'm passively inflicting further pain on everyone around me by not just letting the issue go, not removing myself or letting others remove themselves from the situation, and not taking steps to actually resolve anything.

Further irony comes in here in that I've been told this comes across as a punishment. Somebody has upset me, and now I'm punishing them by subjecting them to this. But that's not my intention at all! In my head, it's the opposite of punishment – it's showing that I can mess things up, but I'm going to sit there in pain and unhappiness as an act of love instead of just running away and coming back when everything is fixed.

What Can I Do?

I think just understanding these thought processes is very beneficial in breaking this cycle and learning new strategies for dealing with conflict and resolving the conflict.

This begins with not avoiding conflict. If I have something to say, I need to get comfortable saying it. It doesn't have to be said in a mean way, it doesn't need to push anyone away, but I need to learn to get it off my chest sooner rather than later. That means no more bottling things up. This lets the issue be cleared up sooner rather than later. I've been trying to learn and explore strategies for expressing these sorts of feelings (rather than repressing them).

The next is learning how to manage conflict when it does arise. I need to work on giving others the benefit of the doubt more. That's my default state, but once I poke holes in my own head in my reasoning behind that, I become set in the opinion that they've set out to harm me and that whatever was done was a direct assault on me. That's a very self-centered view to take, and it's almost never even true anyway!

Third, I need to communicate what is going on and why. I probably need to talk about this when I'm not in that state, and open a dialog on figuring out what exactly to do to cause the least harm when this does happen. I'm not perfect, so there needs to be a contingency plan in for when I inevitably bottle something up and this happen. My hope is that just understanding this in myself (and having others around me understanding exactly what's going on) will make it easier to fight it in the moment AND have others on my side, instead of taking it as punishment.

It's going to be important to learn how to get over these feelings faster as well. If this is going to happen, I need to learn the right thought patterns to get back on track faster.

 
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from process imagining

the emergence of life

The emergence of life is better conceived as a bid for freedom on the part of organisms, a bid for a certain independence of individuality with self-interests and activities not to be construed purely in terms of environmental obligations.

~Alfred North Whitehead, Symbolism, 65.

#anwhitehead #symbolism #life #independence #environment

 
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