sur le chemin ancien perdu et retrouvé s'aventure à pas lents le chasseur de lumière

du plus creux des buissons aux rameaux les plus hauts s'échappent les dernières volutes de clarté

puis plus rien que la vibration des feuilles dans le silence et la nuit

---

Photo par Gilles Le Corre – “Following the old abandoned road near the village.” – 2021 September 18th – By courtesy © Gilles Le Corre & ADAGP 2021

We have such peculiar ideas about order. We look at a street, and say it must be clean. Although to be clean of what, is up to many opinions. It could be clean of dirt, which always seem to gather. Or to be clean of people, or a particular kind of people, and from there arises hatred and fences. Or to be clean of traffic, but we don't seem to mind that at all. We also want the house to be orderly, to be clean, to wash the clothes. We put on perfumes to smell nice, because somehow smells of the body is totally unnatural and detested. Then, in our own minds, we dictate order. We say we must have certain knowledge, beliefs, prejudices. We must see the world a certain way. We must have certainty in the mind, so we predict and control. We are afraid of the unknown, the uncontrollable, so we make life into a repetition. Do this everyday. Have good habits. Or escape into the same pleasure, anger, work when a crisis comes. We have been through all this, haven't we? And do we have order? What is order? We talk about order enormously. The politicians talk of law and order, and to them, order is to have a strong police, strong punishments, strong court, so people wouldn't dare infringe upon the law. Not only the politicians, the school teachers are the same. Their authority is absolute, and any attempt to dethrone them is an attack, and must be punished. We see children scolded, beaten, and is it all for the vanity of the teacher? The parents also, are always so authoritarian. The parents think they must be right. So many times, one goes to the parks, natural reserves, and listens to the father lecturing the child, about why this history matters, why this park is special, or about some historical figure and how they were brilliant and brave and so on. Why do we lecture? Why do we feel like what we know, others should know as well? Are we really so egotistic? Do we really think we are so important?

When we say one thing is important, and at its expense disregard others, disorder begins. Then we are in the field of conflict, fights, struggle. Then our life is the game of who is more important, whose opinion is more pleasing, whose army is bigger and whose name is more popular. Then we compare endlessly, trying to figure out the right way to life. Yet can the right way to life be found through comparison? When we so compare, between politicians, lovers, students, teachers, parents, workers, we do not love, right? There is no time to care, to observe, slowly, hesitantly, without judgement, because in comparison we are occupied with judgement. Aren't we judging all the time? Aren't we always comparing? This shoe against another. This person to another. For what? Why are we judging? Why must we always put a name, a label, some sort of description to every thing that exists?

When we so compare, we are really saying, that there is the more important and the less. The more important we are attached to, the less important we throw into the trash. So the poor man without food we don't look for a second, and actively avoid him, because he is utterly unimportant to us. So nature, with its grand and timeless beauty is only a passing sight, we snap a picture and go on with our daily struggle and conflict. Conflict, contradiction is disorder. We are in disorder. Through our constant comparison, we establish the hierarchy, the discrimination, the names, either pleasurable or vicious, so we sow the seed of resistance and violence. When we push another down, we cannot expect the other to not push back. Oppression is the beginning of resistance. No amount of force and power can establish a permanent empire, because the very nature of force means that rebellion is inevitable. When we dictate life, say it must be this way or that, then we invite disorder. Then we are caught in conflict, forever struggling, and never understanding how to end the struggle.

There must be the understanding, that no matter what one wishes or plans, it will only lead to disorder. To wish is to dictate life, to control life's direction. Our wishes are in the air, pervade the entire world. Our life, our society, is simply the competition between different wishes. One wish might come on top, have power over the rest for a while, until another take over. One group dominates another, until a rebellion topples it, and another group sits comfortably in power again. To have power over, to control, is to invite resistance. Will we let go of control? Of course, the necessary things for physical survival, like food and shelter, must be attained through control. But other than these things, which is really simple to do in our age, do we really need to control?

This means, do we need to control the future? Our career, family, friendship, fame, power. When we control its direction, we must be in the field of conflict. We must compete with others, fight for power and position. We must try to control another, either a family member or your spouse. We all know how it feels to be controlled, to be told what to do, don't we? Yet we spare no time, without consideration, go full tilt into control when there is something we want. This craving for the more, the better, is what brings about oppression and injustice, is the very beginning of disorder. To control another, either through money, blackmail, psychological influence, the slightest suggestion is the beginning of conflict, isn't it? How many times do we tell each other, you should wear makeup, you should dress this way, you should have more sex or less sex, you should read more, you should exercise, you should become like your father or mother and so on. Why are we so inclined to tell another what they should do? And we also listen to all the others who tell us what we should do. So in life, we end up telling each other what everyone should do. This is most of our life. It might be astonishing but this is a fact. Our life is organized by this factor, of the should and should not. We also tell ourselves all the time, when we cry that we should not cry, when we are angry that we should behave differently, when we disappoint another that we should change and so on. We seem to be forever discontented with ourselves and each other, right? So much discontent that it is incredible we are still functioning.

One carries the frustration at work to the home. When there is oppression from somewhere, unleash that oppressed energy to somewhere else, through violence, protests, slogans and so on. Disorder moves. It moves from one to another, from one country to another, and so our world is filled with it. To our children, we are teaching disorder. We are teaching them how to obey, control, dominate. We are teaching them the ways of conflict, contradiction, of being on top, competition. We are telling them, compare yourself, you are never enough, be better, stronger, more powerful, more erudite, and so on. How tiresome such a life is, and how routine, repetitive, boring it is. Endless conflict, in private and public, in the house or in the company, at the border or inside the city, and somehow we are justifying all this, we are letting this by, without some thoughtfulness, that maybe what we have been doing is utterly irrational, insane, and there can never be love, peace, or joy in the way we live, which is conflict, which is disorder.

What happens when there is no control? Why not find out? Without control then things happen anew, don't they? Then you deviate from the path you have always taken, and find out new things, things that you might never know existed. Life is short, so very short, and we waste it on competition, on our drive and goals, so the beautiful scenery, the lovely people and nature pass us by. Only without control, can love be. In control, there is only the self-imposed cruelty, the satisfaction of self-projected desire. Love is without the self. Selfishness destroys any sense of care and gentle attention. When one stop being the dictator of life, then life reveals itself to you. You can never order life, because life has its own law. We might study it, imitate it, but its constant newness and surprise is beyond any framework or theory, any utopia or hope. Life has its own order. Therefore, without control, one listens to it, to the subtle sounds, the beautiful movement either big or small. It is full of vitality, and its vitality needs no ego to be, no self to exist. One must see that the ego, or the self, is so small, petty, and therefore insignificant in life. Life and its immense movement can only be watched, without judgement and opinions. The secret is the obvious. There is no secret to life, because life is the secret, and we simply have no time or patience to listen to its story.

#SeeingthatWhichis

In the past, I have written why I believe a good leader ought to talk about risk with their team and how this kind of discussion should happen regularly. I argued that it is a powerful way for the leader to deal with the fear of letting people down.

Of course, there is also an ethical aspect to it; people deserve to know what kind of adventure they embarked on.

There is another important reason why one should be open about complex topics with their team. It's a benefit that ultimately outweighs the threat of creating a wave of panic within the group.

Talking about problems and challenges allow everybody to partake in their resolution, and in the culture. People develop a feeling of ownership as they see the whole picture—a nuanced picture with both good and bad.

Communicating on the positive exclusively makes employees suspicious. People are smart. They often recognize partial or deceitful communication.

Consequently, voluntarily omitting the negative and the sensitive topics can lead individuals to think that the leader has an ulterior motive.

But when the leader openly discusses some of the organization's difficulties and the thought process towards their resolution, then communication becomes a powerful means of engagement.

It chokes the rumors and invites people to build solutions together.

After her social media debut on Thursday morning, just four short days ago, I’m pleased to report that Nancy has an application. Lucky 13 Rescue is in the process of checking references and doing a home check. If all goes well Nancy will soon rest well in her forever home.

So many people have asked about Nancy, shared her, and want to adopt her that I thought a little explanation as to how Nancy came to me might be helpful. Especially since I obviously love her and actually want her for myself. Seems counterintuitive to tell everyone to adopt the dog you want, right?

I am actually Nancy’s vacation foster. Which means there was a foster before me who wanted to take a vacation. But she had this broken dog. Loretta, the first foster, got Nancy from a boarding facility that received Nancy, along with several others, from a breeder release. This means that a breeder has used up the dog and is benevolently giving it to a cash-strapped rescue to rehabilitate and find a home for. * insert eyeroll *

The boarding facility held onto Nancy until Loretta came looking for a small dog to foster and potentially adopt. Loretta is a sucker and when she saw Nancy, just had to take her home. We’re not laughing at you, Loretta! We’re laughing with you. Seriously. My dog Max ruined my life for eight solid weeks before I gave in and just adopted him. Best poor decision I ever made.

Loretta did the hard work. When she brought Nancy home Nancy was unresponsive and would just lay there with her eyes closed. Loretta pampered and loved her and Nancy slowly started to come out of her shell; just a teensy bit. When Loretta dropped Nancy off at my house, she had to full-body wrestle Nancy up the three stairs into my apartment. Loretta is tiny and I will forever regret not recording that.

At this point, Nancy wasn’t listed on the website, as she was too shut down to consider adopting out. But she did so well learning from Max, observing my cats, and being with the neighbor dogs coming to liven things up . . . Nancy is a total love. And I knew she would be ready for the right family.

There’s only one Nancy to go around. She’s getting adopted, and it’s probably not by you. But listen. There are enough Nancy’s to go around. You can find your Nancy the same way I found Nancy. And Max. And Herschel Holstein and Molly and Jake and Serenity and Arnold and Daisy and Schmidt and those puppies that almost killed me.

Become a Foster.

If you can’t commit to a long-term foster be a vacation foster! Fostering is so rewarding . . . until you need to travel for work or to save your marriage (no, not because you’ve got too many dogs) or for a reunion or a funeral. You’ll be helping saving two lives; a dog and another human. Vacation fostering offers a short-term commitment way to help.

Walk shelter dogs.

OK, so maybe you have legit reasons for not fostering. I get it. * insert thought bubble that says whatever * You can still help by volunteering to walk dogs at the closest shelter to you. Or, help transport dogs from foster homes to adoption events. This is where we take foster dogs to meet random strangers in the hopes of making a love connection. Not because we’re desperate! OK, fine. We’re desperate and need a little help.

Volunteer

Work. It gets in the way of everything, right? If you can’t volunteer your time outside your home, volunteer from home. Manage databases and the website, handle social media, write content, perform home checks, or process applications.

Procure Supplies

Leashes, peanut butter, ropes, toys. Beds! Host a toy drive at work, church, or book club. Look for bargains, and pounce!

Donate

You know what I hate more than giving money? Asking for money. Lots of people have thanked me for helping Nancy. Called me an angel and good human and such. But I couldn’t foster without the rescue. And the rescue couldn’t rescue without volunteers. And funds. When making up your budget (yes, please budget so you don’t end up needing to surrender your own furry) please consider your favorite pet rescue amongst your giving.

Represent

Buy a cool t-shirt! Who doesn’t need more t-shirts?

If you’re still with me, I hope you find your Nancy and that you’re wearing a Lucky 13 shirt when you do.

~ Peace All

PS We’ll know more after our morning walk, but I think Nancy ate half a sponge today.

Day 1/365

I’m embarking on a new project. It’s very simple. Post one B&W photo a day along with a reflection of that day. The reason for this project is that I learned today one of our family friend's sons has passed away. He is younger than me by more than a decade. Lately, I have been hearing plenty of sad news around me. This has made me grateful for our limited time in this world.

If there's one thing you can do today, then kiss your loved one and tell them they mean the world to you because they do.

#project365

Day 1 of #100DaysToOffload

Nothing has opened my eyes to the real cause of the downfall of civilization than becoming a school teacher.

It's quite simple, really.

Most people are hiding from what genuinely creates a better future, which is investing in children.

They find six figure jobs, or minimalist existences with no contact/investment in children, etc.

There's no mystery here, people.

Argue as your ego feel it must about which side/tribe is more full of shit.

I say all of you avoiding sharing your person/knowledge/wisdom/empathy with the true representatives of our future have less than shit for brains.

5 phrases de passe

mon sommeil outrAge les !1001? nuits

le 100tier des souvenir$ est trop &3 pour ma mémoire

7 bONnes raisONs de prendre la F8 vers l'horizON

mais quel est le chemin @ prendre % aller + loin ?

espiègle cerise acerbe traverse verbe attendu

#000735 – 02 de Setembro de 2021

Aguardo os meus triskates, a minha halfbike, a minha gravel bike.

I was talking to a friend about a book that I currently read and about the childhood trauma part, when that realization came to me;

Something 'bad' that happened, cut us too deep, and left scars within us, is not a trauma. It was just another less favourable events of life.

What then turns it into a traumatic experience was our reaction. We avoided what we felt at that moment with all cost, for whatever reason we had back then. And mostly, we believed at that time, that what happened to us was the end of everything in our lives. It is natural that anything we surpressed so hard, eventually left deeper marks, blown worse, and became traumatic for us.

So, if we could change that perceptions and re-establish our reactions towards any less favourable event, we could prevent on creating another traumatic experience in our lives, and we could actually speed-up any healing process towards our past traumas.

In other words, we could prevent any trauma to build, or heal our old traumas, by shifting our perceptions and changing the way we deal with anything that happen in our lives.

Many would argue that they won't be able to think or analize anything deeply when something so heartbreaking and emotional, happens.

But, based on my experiences, we always have that 'moment' of decision making, or pause time during our shock, or something that we call as a 'blank-mind' moment, which actually wasn't blank at all. It was a short moment when we try to process the information we just received, and the mind was basically asking us “what should I do?”

I read a research somewhere years ago on babies and kids' behaviourals, where some babies cry after they fell down, while some others didn't. Turns out, babies don't cry straight away after they fell down. Instead, they look at their most emotionally-bonded person around them first, and watch their (adult) reactions towards the event (they fell down).

The babies who cried, usually have their parents (or siblings, nanny, or any emotionally-bonded closest person around) panicked, afraid, worried, or any other difficult emotional displayed on their faces. This signaled to the babies that something was wrong, and their first reaction was to cry.

The babies who didn't cry, usually have their emotionally-bonded person chill. Some parents would just smiled and told them that it's alright. This signaled to the babies that they were safe, and it was natural to fall down. They then didn't cry at all and just tried to stand up again.

Similar to the babies, we also have that short moment to analize. That was the moment before we react such as cried, shout, yell, angry, or even faint. And yes, we actually know how that initial information that we received, will make us feel. We just don't know what to do with it. And well, it is fair to say that to adult like us, the complication of feelings and process might be less simpler than what happened on the babies.

What we can do to hijack our reaction on those short moments are only two; take a deep breath as much as we could, and allow (not avoiding) what we feel to flow at any circumstance and any condition that we are facing.

Yes, we acknowledge that it will hurt. That is terrible. That will tear us apart. That will change everything. And we are in deep sadness and pain, yes.

Cry if we must. Shout and curse if we have to. Punch the wall and fall to the ground, or lock ourselves alone if we need to. But when that pain strikes us hard, don't fight it. Just take our time and let it flow.

When the storm of pain and sadness have settled down a bit, try to make ourselves understand that what happened was never the end of everything in our lives. Nothing is always as good or as bad as it seems.

It surely hurts and was devastating, but time will always heal. What had happened did, and will change many things in our lives, but so does everything else that happens in life. Life does bound to changes, it is the essence of life; to change (evolve). Everything that has happened, was everything that should happen, in either ways.

Next, what could we do to heal the past trauma?

Always know that emotions and memories behave like waves. They come and go. Sometimes they come slowly like a small wave, while some other times, we could surf on top of them; the big waves. No matter how big and small, they come and go, and will pass eventually. So, don't avoid or ignore them. Instead, accept and try to understand them.

We couldn't heal what we feel untill we resolve and heal the experiences. And by resolve and heal the experiences, doesn't mean that we re-write what has happened, instead we re-write our narrative and the way we perceive it.

Write down on a blank paper:

• Each trauma that happened in our whole lives that we still remember, or still makes our hearts wrench. Who said what, what happened, how, etc in details – with a black pen. This is the fact section.

• Write down how did we exactly feel at that time on each given situation. Be very honest and open. Afterall, this is only for you to read.– This is the hard emotion section, write it with red pen.

• Then, write down the healing section with a blue pen. How do we actually feel now about that particular point or topic? Does the fact still matter to us? Does it still affect us? What could we do differently, should we deal with similar situation someday in the future? What can we do now to make this experience better for us? What did we gain from this?

This process will give us clear understanding of what happened, how did we feel, and how do we actually feel about them now. It will give some clarity that is needed to see things fairly.

This process doesn't change those experiences, doesn't erase our memories, or make them less valid than they should be. However, this gives them and ourselves some proper space and respect needed, to continue our earned lives through better directions.

*Please note that I'm not an expert on psychology or trauma matters. What I wrote here was only based on my understanding and experiences, mostly for my personal use. Please do reach to the experts and professionals for a better outcome, proper techniques, and formal results.

Jemand schreibt Dir und sagt, „Hey Du kennst Dich doch mit LaTeX aus. Weißt, ich hab da meine Diss, und ich müsste da drei Zentimeter Seitenrand haben, das kannste doch bestimmt schnell, oder?“

Du weißt, was kommen wird. Sagst aber trotzdem, komm schick rüber. Und bekommst, was Du befürchtest hast: Ein uraltes Ding, Template aus den Neunzigern und eine Präambel direkt aus der Hölle 😫

Du beginnst, zu überlegen, was Du lieber machst: Raussuchen, wie man in article mit a4 die Seitenränder anpasst, ohne alles zu zerstören. Oder alles auf Koma umstellen, und den ganzen alten Kack rauszuwerfen.

Und ganz kurz, aber wirklich nur ganz kurz, denkst Du, dass es vielleicht einfacher wäre, die Freundschaft zu kündigen 😬

---

Am Ende war’s dann aber doch nur ein a4paper in den Optionen für geometry. Glück gehabt.

The past

In the past I've journalled in a very specific and rigid way on a very regular basis, however covid saw that habit change and pretty much disappear, this has given me enough of a break from it to re-evaluate and I've reached the conclusion I'm going to change how I journal

Digital Journal

Firstly I went digital, using obsidian, having templates, the ability to search, plugins to encrypt information, internote linking etc makes the journal entries much more usable – but in this “journal” I mostly use it for bullet points, a quick rundown of the day a chronology. Then I will also use other templates as/when needed I will include the templates below.

Daily template

# Journal
## morning
- [ ] Something you're grateful for
- [ ] Go over yesterdays note (if applicable)
- 
## afternoon
- 
## evening
- [ ] A nice memory
- [ ] meditation
- 



---
[[month-21]] #month #journal 

Work template (based on newports idea of deep work)

# Work Start
#### How do you feel?

#### What do you plan to do today?

#### Why do you want to do these things?

#### What might get in your way?

#### How can you overcome this?

# Work End
#### Did you do good enough today?

#### What did you do?

#### What helped you?

#### What hurt you?

#### How do you feel?

#### How do you plan to rest tonight?

---
[[<% moment().format("DD-MM-YY") %>]]
#<% moment().format("MMMM") %>
#work 

Stressed template

# Stressed

**List things making you stressed:**
- 

*Highlight the most important*

**What can you do about it?**


**Is there anyone you can talk to about it?**


**Why are these things making you stressed?**


**What do you think you should do?**
- 

**What was the outcome?**

---
[[<% moment().format("DD-MM-YY") %>]]
#<% moment().format("MMMM") %>
#events

How it's used

I use plugins to create new notes with both work and stressed templates then insert a link to those notes in the daily note, this is all a hands off process and since they're separate notes in separate folders it keeps everything free from clutter and organized.

The structure

• Journal/
  • 00-Events/
    • 2021/
  • 00-work/
    • 2021/
  • January-21/
    • 01-01-21.md

Physical Journal

My physical journal will be used more for long form thoughts and feelings about life, mine and others. A more sort of decompression, I'll carry it wherever but will think before writing in it, the format and structure will be simple, on the front will be month-year month-year so I know when it was start and when it was full, inside it'll just use a title and month on each entry, anything more granular gets lost in the pages anyway, if I need to know specific things about a specific date then I should just ctrl+f my digital journal, if I want to reflect then dates aren't nearly as important and neither is a chronology of what you did on that day.