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a whisper of snow upon the last breath of spring unheard by summer I watched the frost turn to dew and thought of your thin smile

In this world where everything is fake we need to learn how to separate ourselves from the people who share the same “faith.” I was told by God to tell you.

Praying is your connection with God. When you pray you're building your relationship with him. A relationship is a give and take connection. If you can't do your part then it will fail.

1) Never giving thanks: Before you eat or drink you should be thankful that you've been given enough to eat. There are people out there who share with a village with scraps while we continue to live gluttonous lives. How would you feel if you gave someone you love a gift and they take it without saying “thank you” ?

2) Never defending Him: I've been faced with this many times where people gang up on me and try to convince me God isn't real. If you don't defend Him then why would He defend you when we've reached the end? If you're caught in a situation you would want your best friend to have your back right?

3) Never reading the Bible: When you read the bible you are learning more about Jesus. There's 2 ways to read: reading for the hell of it and reading to gain information. Just because you read something doesn't mean you retain the information. Would you want to stay in a relationship with someone who is self centered and talks without giving you a turn? That's how it's like when you don't read the bible or remember his words.

4) Continuing to sin: We're born into sin so we'll always sin. The ones who sin yet never repent or change their ways will get their reward. Death. It's the same as being in a violent relationship. You're going to get tired of their lies, no effort in changing, yet they continue to cheat. One day you're going to have to leave because you've had enough. That's exactly what God will do. “You're neither hot nor cold, therefore, I will spit you out of my mouth.” Revelation 3:16

5) No results from praying? : Before you blame God for not answering your prayers why don't you think about your actions and what you're asking for. No one wants to maintain a one sided relationship. There's only so much a person can give before they give up on you. God just wants you to live by his rules, remember him, love him, thank him, and serve him.

6) Faking appearances: It's better to be a non believer than to accept Him into your life and live the same life as a non believer. Why waste your time going to church if you don't want to be there? It's the same as having plans to hang out with your friend and the entire time your friend is busy on their phone or doing everything except give you their time.

7) Preaching things that aren't in the bible: Would you spread rumors or lies about your friends/family? Would you allow strangers to spread rumors or lies about your friends/family? If no then start fighting back! You can start by reading the bible to know his words.

I think you guys get the point and see the points I'm trying to make. When the end is here you will have nothing except your faith. Do you think you could save your soul with your faith? I know I can.

Last night I had a dream about Jesus Christ. I was living in a world that everyone believes is real but I was the only one who could see the world for what it really is. No matter how much I told people the truth and try to tell them about Jesus, they wouldn't believe me and would reject me.

I can't remember what else happened but then it went to me flipping through instagram. All I saw was Trisha Paytas as if she took over instagram and all her nudes/adult entertainment stuff was all over the social app. It was disgusting. Then Jesus brought down his hand grabbing me. I wasn't crushed but his hand was lifting me from the world and in that moment I knew that I would be facing judgement. His hand was huge! The feeling was the same as falling from the top of a roller coaster except I wasn't going down. I was being lifted from the false reality into heaven. Before I could find out what my judgement was my alarm rang and woke up.

Looking back at it I'm not sure why He wanted me to tell you this story but he did. So there it is.

in this other world beyond wall and waking dream the sun flickers out; amidst the stars' perfect light the moon rises in darkness

thoughts scatter like leaves like words, strewn far and drying now that you are gone autumn settles in at last and the world's feet are heavy

yet the stars still shine. by their light I bring those leaves together again— as you wrote because of me so I write because of you.

Taking a break..

Day 3:

Backstory

Am I a smartphone addict? Maybe, maybe not. Today it is day 3 since renouncing myself from smartphone use. Currently, I am using the age old Alcatel's flip phone. Yes, I bought it off shelf from T-mobile's store in San Francisco (it's weird they still have those) and I've decided to use it hence forth for at least 60 days.

Let's dive back a few years ago as to what transpired this decision. 2012. Right out of college I had received my first paycheck and all I had on my mind was to buy a smartphone. Samsung Galaxy S3 it was. All I had heard before that was how my friends chatted in groups on WhatsApp, how they boasted of accessing Facebook without visiting their terminals, those eye catching games (bubble blast!) and much more.

This carried on for the next 4 to 5 years. I let the monster in me satisfy his thirst. Trying out new apps, unlocking the nerd in me with rooted devices and Cyanogenmod, tons of games like CoC, PUBG, etc. Of course now I realise all this was the result of an acceptable resolution to run away from the loneliness I was facing. Being away from family most of the year, being away from my wife, those monotonous software engineering routine, lack of health awareness, I could go on and on. I read about how people are addicted to smartphones and how there aren't much useful resources about it. Sometimes I boxed myself like a teenager (I'm more than 25 now!) hooked on to my smartphone and stubborn enough to not move on with my day despite realization. What for? All this amounts to what? It was a filler. Filler for the empty time I had. I was ok with it since it didn't make me sad. It ate up my time.

But this went on to the next level. I was hooked on to my phone even when I was with my friends. I was guilty of hanging my head down when having that one precious video call with my wife or with my parents. I could predict which top users would be on my instagram feed; obviously learning a pattern by historically opening the app tons of thousands of times in a day. Those circulation of fake news on Facebook and fake forwards on WhatsApp, Twitter trolls, Snapchat, it just bottled all the saturation I could until one day.

No, no. Not at the point where I give up my smartphone yet. Until that one day when I recollected a couple of instances where a friend of mine was blocked from WhatsApp for trying out some fake client of it. He was timed out of using it for 3 days. Another incident happened when the same guy dropped his phone dead on the ground. He had to wait for a week to get it fixed and used a regular cell phone. His feedback: he loved it. It's been a few months since I thought of giving up smartphone life and trying this reboot. This is a reboot. Just like Joe Cross who went on a 60 day juice diet. I thought of trying out this experiment where I give up smartphone for 60 days. I couldn't come to terms with giving up a smartphone though. It just couldn't happen with me.

One day, I woke up, went straight to T-mobile's store. Bought the Alcatel flip phone, came home, master reseted my Samsung Galaxy S8+ and hoped to live a better life since.

Observations

I feel much better. Not physically, but mentally. I am having time. Time to do nothing. I have time to think. Time to have a contiguous stream of thought. It was difficult to have that; says a lot about my concentration level, sadly. I am receptive to my surroundings. I observe when waiting for a bus that just like myself, more than half of the people around me have their heads hanged down (not in shame) in smartphone. I am receptive to how wind brushes the leaves of trees. How the the NBA champs of 2018, Golden State Warrior's flags are around the city fluttering in the gushing wind. How it is painstaking to walk by a homeless draped in light to nearly no clothing in bruising wintery nights.

I had to catch up with friends during weekend. This was a challenge since I had no Uber or Lyft now. I Googled directions for the destination, jotted them down on a piece of paper and head out. When I arrived at the nearest MUNI (the public transportation system of San Francisco), I noticed there was huge map! Freak, was it there since the beginning? I had never noticed. Google maps said there were 'significant delays' so I was expecting something would screw up my travel. Well, as it turned out, I started noticing boards. The display there said more information about the directions that had alternate arrangements to my destination. I was flabbergasted. Had it not been for that, I would have simply sat under it, reading up Quora or Reddit and eventually ordering an Uber well past the desired time to reach my destination. FYI, I reached my destination in 20 mins! (Hell yeah!).

During my commute to office, I sit with closed eyes. I try to meditate, I am currently unable to since I find it difficult to broaden my concentration span. I've seen far worse cases of smartphone addiction but I believe those are in their teenagers and eventually they come out of it. I think I am trying to be proactive in giving up smartphone life.

Yes, it's a bit difficult. It's difficult to commute. Difficult to read paper based maps. I'd say but you eventually learn it. You learn to look for the right block of info and ignore the rest. Just like you intuitively know how to use a new social app, it's the same, just with paper and signs! Giving up smartphone life didn't mean giving up my social life. I still love to meet my friends. They are the ones who have a huge contribution in keeping me of sound mind. They are the ones I fight with. My intention is to simply roll myself 10 years back, that time when I could stay connected to my digital life but only with a computer. I am writing this blog right after browsing my Facebook feed, tweeting how awesome the Warriors parade was. It doesn't mean giving up all of this. It simply means cutting it down and being a better planner. Looking up directions on my laptop before I head home. Planning an hour rather than 15 minutes before I want to catch a movie. Relying on SMS, yes, teenagers, it's a messaging system. Nobody told you because you inadvertently know about it. Remember where you receive all your verification codes! Alright, that might be too arrogant.

The point is, it's a step to put on a filter before having the urge to access what your friends are up to or having the urgent need to stay connected. I'm ok if I am not, I have some time for myself.

Wish me luck.

-

“Always strive to elevate your craft!” – Jiro Ono

#quote #jiroono

I wanted to read this book written by Bronnie Ware for many years, but I kept delaying it. Glad that I've read it at last. The single most inspiring book I've ever held in my hands! It allows you to see life and the human experience from a completely different perspective. Man, how sacred life is!

Here are the five most common things the dying regrets when facing the end of the journey:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This book is filled with so much wisdom from cover to cover, I don't think I've ever highlighted this much stuff in a book. It took me months to read it, but not because of its length. It was too much to absorb at once so I rather walked away to let it sink in, and I returned for more later. The end of the book was really hard to absorb, the dark days the author faced after stepping away from caring for all those dying people, and how she managed to overcome it to start a new chapter in her life.

If I should choose only one book to recommend to others, I would pick this one without hesitation! I'm glad I didn't read it back in 2012 when I read an article about it. I was a different person back then, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have gotten that much out of it like I did now in 2018. This book is a real gem, but don't worry if you don't see its beauty now. It just means you aren't ready yet like I wasn't back in 2012. It takes time to dial down the noise, and listen to the signal. We all get there at some stage of your lives. Until then we should just take it easy and enjoy the ride!

#goodreads #reading #bookreview

Today I tried to brush my teeth with activated charcoal. I got mine from the vitamin section. It came in gelatin capsules for ~$9.

What is your experience like? I saw videos and photos of before and after with the charcoal and my teeth did not look like that. I took the capsule apart and poured the charcoal onto my brush. Started brushing my teeth and after rinsing my teeth with water I saw all the charcoal is in the small spaces or lines of my teeth. It didn't look brighter. No matter how much I rinsed the charcoal wouldn't come out.

I will not be trying this again and will stick to baking soda.

The other day I found out my cousin, Dee, misses me and wishes she could talk to me or be a part of my life again.

I'm so over it and wanted to vent. The reason why I cut her out of my life is because:

1) never texts back: I'm always the one reaching out and when I do text her 9 out of 10 times I never get a response. When I get a response it's always, “Sorry I'm busy right now. I'll talk to you later.” We both work a lot and went to school but she can't manage to get 1 text a lot of the time.

2) never give gifts: I normally don't mind giving gifts. Growing up she didn't have as much as me and was always moving. I use to give her gifts whenever I made some extra money. I stopped when she would never attempt to send me anything or actually send me anything.

3) feeling like I don't matter: this could be in my head but I always felt she responded to her friends quicker and more often than me. We use to be really close growing up. On her social media I would always see her posting pics partying with her friends.

4) feeling used: not only would she not respond but she would always ask for something whenever she reached out to me first.

It's been a while since I talked to her and I'm glad I cut her out. Honestly there's no difference from when we talked and now. I would never hear from her.

Idk everything that happened in her life before. All I knew is that she went to a university and worked a lot. I didn't go to a university but I was a full time student during the same time as her and worked my butt off too. Now she's a hairstylist and nail technician with debt from the university probably working a lot still. I don't think she understands my schedule. I use to work Monday-Saturday and sometimes I would be working for a month straight still managing to text her. I don't work crazy hours anymore but I still work full time hours.

Whenever I work with someone from the middle east they always react this way. Maybe it's their culture but it's annoying.

First of all they are all really slow. There's always a language barrier no matter how long they've been here. Like they don't pick up the language after several years.

Second, they refuse help even if they're struggling. When I try to help I don't think I'm rude or mean about it but they act like I'm insulting them. They always respond, “I know. I know.” If you really know then you wouldn't be making so many mistakes or looking lost majority of the time.

Third, after denying my help several times they will come to me a minute later and ask, “How do you do this?” If I wanted to be an ass I would respond, “Oh I thought you already know.” I have said it before to someone.

I also noticed this too. They always make other people accomodate them but they never change to accomodate other people. The only ones that aren't like that are the ones that are born in the US.

From an anonymous source, with thanks:

Had to share this !!!! The admin of a flipping Coronation Street fan page has started peddling his Herbalife now, shocking!!! To 76k members, and he knows he can, as he created the group! Terrible! You should repost this as it’s so manipulative and so many vulnerable people with learning difficulties in the group—I’m so mad!

#CoronationStree #Herbalife #antiMLM #MLM