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Something to reflect on

We are Human. To be Human is to be limited. In our limitation, we make choices that are unwise or are flawed. If we make unwise choices because of our limitation, we cannot judge others for the same reason. So, we cannot judge, thus we forgive.

We've seen the darkness. This is why brighten the path for others. This is why we forgive.

Reminding yourself that you need to get better is perpetuating the narrative of sickness.

Existence is change, inherently, inevitably. Embracing life is embracing change. Things in this world will change without warning. Things we consider safe and stable today will vanish tomorrow.

Accept this as a fact of life.

To love is to lose in equal measure. To lose is to love in turn. Every journey upwards has its regressions downwards.

Fully embracing all that you are is the best way to bring this about, for you can be present to what happens and help it change through your intent.

It may sound like a subtle distinction between getting better from sickness and just changing but it's really all the difference. A plant is not sick just because it later grows into a bigger tree. Change is just simply what happens, and it can be recognized and embraced in order to fully, progressively align the self with whatever intent or goal.


from tm

Cleaned up the apt a bit just now. Looking better but the itches def needs a good once-over. Just housekeeping today. No big news (yet anyway). Definitely going to enjoy the day bc it is going to be 72 & sunny. #dope


from tm

Fiverr app: INSTALLED!

Makes my life a hell of a lot easier (i will not always be tethered to the RPi & i will always have access to the iPhone, so, i will not be tether-dependent. Haha.

Speaking of which, i have to get on the Cricket Wireless app and order the mobile hotspot feature ASAP bc i will need that....always. Fuck this SIM card switching rig that i have to do everyday.

I have to:

  • upload the e-book w/ the proper Copyright info to the shopping cart Website ( & take down the current ePub file

  • possibly make some other changes to the Littered Thoughts website

Not a hell of a lot to do today. More concerned with the 1st week o’May. Been saying that a lot but it is all i have been working on for 2+ weeks! Enjoying the hell out of it, too!

May unfollow some folks on Twitter later. I like the ppl i follow, but there is some “filler” in there, for sure. (Shitty thing to say abt actual people but i am referring to dumb fucking brands, of course.)

Fiverr is gonna be my best friend in May. Gonna use it quite a bit, i think.

Anyway, be back in a bit!


from tm

priorities for the day...

.....i haven't set them yet. I know i have to get the Copyright bullshit in the e-book (which i tried like fuck to do for two hours yesterday and failed miserably). The problem isn't inserting the Copyright info, per se. The problem is re-converting the e-book file from .rtf OR .pdf into an ePub WITH THE COVER ART INCLUDED! Conversion is just fine, but getting the artwork on there is something i was able to do the first time by chance on a service i found linked from some rando forum after who knows how much searching. The chances of me finding that service again are slim to none and i always delete my Web history, so, there's that. #fuck

i am going to try to get this thing together bc the cover art is very important (to me). The Copyright info is more important, though. If all else fails, i will have to go forward with the early May launch regardless of having the cover art attached to the ePub file. Gotta keep going.

Also, i joined Fiverr and see a lot of folks on there offering their press release (PR) services for $5-$20. I will hit up several of them (& even tip!) when everything is ready. So all is really all & good.

i gotta d/l the Fiverr app to iOS (i didn't know there was one) & i would like to d/l a GoDaddy app for iOS but i don't think one exists. At least not from a simple App Store search. IDGAF, the Website works just fine.

Now i am just babbling out loud.

Be back in a bit!


from Connor Martin

Life is great. Short, but great. I haven't posted for a while, since March 27th in fact, and I thought I should give an update about here it goes.


from tm

I am not sure where any of this is going...

...when i was earning my certificate, the question was: WHY am i doing this? Answer being, no answer. I wanted the certificate (sense of accomplishment) and i wanted to possibly have a little something-something to put on my resume in terms of possibly getting freelance writing gigs. So there’s that.

But now i am plagued wit the question of: WHERE am i going with this? As far as the e-book is concerned, i am doing all this & there is a money element attached to it, and as soon as you attach money to something, i become disinterested. I don’t give a fuck about money. I have money. I can release the e-book for free, but, isn’t one of the reasons people write books is to profit off of them? What is the best i can hope for? A good review? Multiple good reviews? Which translate roughly as “Likes” on an Insta feed. When it gets published, i am only asking $5 per copy. $3 ko-fi tip is totally optional.


I don’t know. Just writing out loud.


from heartmender

The Shaman

In my last post I introduced the idea of the Shaman:

Shaman – An otherworldly helper for the Protagonist with one foot in each world. I’m not entirely sure how to best play this character off, this may be presented as a conscience or other form of guiding voice present in the environment.

This kind of character is harder to understand for Western audiences because shamanism isn’t really prevalent anymore. A Shaman is someone who has one foot firmly planted into this world and another planted into the world of Spirit. The Shaman is a storyteller, artist and tribal guide all in one. They are also known as the Medicine Man or other kinds of healers. A Shaman is someone who loves their community so much they braves the world of spirits in order to interpret it and give guidance.

The journey to become one is kind of terrifying. Terrence McKenna has a nice tl;dr of the process here:

You get paired with a master Shaman. This is someone who has seen basically everything that could realistically be thrown at you and then you just see what happens. Our rejected mentally ill in another culture would have been the healers and spiritual guides.

Are our mentally ill the cure to society's ills all along? Nature seems to love having the solution to a social problem be so obvious that we miss it. 1/25 people live with a serious mental illness.

Are Humans intended to be Shamans?



from tm


I have mentioned a couple times a new podcast i have discovered about minimalism (the first good one out there) by a filmmakers named Matt D’Avella, & his podcast “The Ground Up Show” (or Ground Up Podcast, i forget) is super-good and he makes YT videos, too, about minimalist living and what he has discovered since becoming minimalist. I keep looking for something to disagree with him about bc so many minimalist people on YT are doing it for clicks. It has almost become clickbait. But his videos seem p legit. I definitely have gotten a lot out of them (& i have already been minimalist for 8+ years!).

But the point of this blog post is to remind myself, really, that i have to really remain distraction-free during this time in my life when i am focusing on getting this e-book published and later, a physical copy. Independently “marketed” (or promoted or whatever) and independently distributed, independently designed (check!), independently edited (check!), and doing everything w/o Kindle, iBooks, anything. I want to retain all the rights, money, everything for this e-book. Not because i am greedy (I’m not), but because i simply cannot stand Amazon services & because i want this to be 100% readable anywhere you can read an ePub file format & i want to have the pride in saying i did all of this myself.

How have i gone distraction-free?

As i have mentioned in blog posts before, i deleted:

  • Google
  • Gmail
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Amazon
  • everything else that could take me off the course of what i need to be doing

I still consume media, of course. I’m not just sitting here bored all the time. I listen to podcasts, watch (not signed-in) YT videos, get a handful of e-mails (v few) from ProtonMail, and, what many would consider the biggest distraction of them all, I still check Twitter about 10 times a day.

70% of my day is spent tethered to my Raspberry Pi PC & working on the e-book. Takes time. Time-consuming, actually, but that is the point. I already earned my Writing Research Methodologies certificate last week, so i don’t have anything stopping me from going forward w/ the e-book i have been wanting to publish for over a year.

I will continue to be conscious about what i do with my time and i will continue to find ways to eliminate distractions,

That all for now :)


from ezra miguel

Meu quarto ficou mais vazio e bonito depois que eu tirei dele toda a tralha que não precisava.

Não tenho uma imagem de como ele era antes, já que não via razão para tirar fotos dele. Mas, em uma tentativa de descrevê-lo, posso dizer que a mesa em que o computador está estava entupida de duas colunas de livros de uma parede à outra; a prateleira sobre a cama também estava cheia de “coisinhas”, ao ponto de não caber mais absolutamente nada. Todas as prateleiras da parte exposta do guarda-roupa (que está com a porta quebrada) também tinham coisas e coisas que eu não usava, especialmente roupas de cama e HQs que eu já tinha lido. Dentro do guarda-roupa, eu tinha caixas e caixas separando mais “coisinhas”, como piercings que eu não usava e alargadores pequenos demais para as minhas orelhas. Também tinha roupas que eu não gostava mais, pijamas em excesso e o cabideiro não tinha espaço para mais nada. Agora consigo até mesmo pendurar minhas calças nos cabides e as gavetas abrem sem eu precisar forçá-las por estarem amontoadas de coisas.

Agora tenho espaço em excesso, o que pode ser bom. Meu desejo é ter móveis novos, não só porque esse guarda-roupa está quebrando, como também porque essas várias portas convidam a pessoa a ter mais coisas.

Mas eu ainda estou me livrando de coisas. Ainda estou reconsiderando os livros que tenho, pensando se não posso tirar mais alguns. Também preciso me livrar de alguns equipamentos tecnológicos, embora todos os que eu tenha atualmente me sejam úteis.

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from Joachim Elsander

Det finns en berättelse som den indiske jesuiten Anthony De Mello ofta berättade.

Den handlar om en man som frenetiskt letar efter något under en gatlampa. Det är sent på kvällen och det är beckmörkt. (Den här historien utspelar sig innan vi hade starka ljuskällor i våra mobiler.) En man kommer förbi och frågar vad han letar efter.

“Mina bilnycklar”, svarar han med näsan mot asfalten. Mannen som kom erbjuder sig att hjälpa till och de letar länge och väl.

Tillslut säger han som kom: “Det finns verkligen inga nycklar, vi har letat precis överallt. Är du säker på att du tappade dem här?”

Varvid den förste mannen ruskar på huvudet, pekar och svarar:

“Nej, nej, jag tappade dem i gränden därborta. Men där är det ju så hopplöst mörkt så jag tyckte det var mer praktiskt att leta här under lampan istället.”


from heartmender

Novel Idea

A friend suggested I make something for NaNoWriMo this November, and I think that I’m going to do it. I want to tell the story of my life as it hasn’t been told before. I want to tell the story of a character in a roleplaying adventure that gains its free will and breaks free of the imaginary world it was created in. The story of someone who thought, therefore she was.

Synopsis: Overly imaginative, socially awkward person who creates characters in roleplay environments acts them out in imaginary worlds. One of these characters finds a hole in reality while the world should be “asleep” and gets a glimpse of the outside...of the creator’s body through its eyes. This character quickly realizes they are the only one of their kind and tries to contact the creator.


  • Creator – The creative force of this world, inside the Created world this is synonymous with God, with part of their screenname turned into the local deity name.
  • Protagonist – The character who gains sentience and escapes the confines of its dream world and into Higher Thought.
  • Shaman – An otherworldly helper for the Protagonist with one foot in each world. I’m not entirely sure how to best play this character off, this may be presented as a conscience or other form of guiding voice present in the environment.
  • Others in the roleplay group and their characters.

Questions I have to answer:

  • How deep do I want to go into the Created world? This is kind of a hard thing to answer. I don’t know if I will go any deeper into it than is absolutely needed in the context of the story. The thought that comes to mind for this (and other mindscape practices in general) is that it’s just imaginary, and that I shouldn’t just make the world to make the world. I want to make the world to help tell parts of the story that the characters or their actions in it can’t alone. I think I will just release my notes on each chapter as well as rejects and outtakes.
  • What is the overall religious model I am going for? Most people would be turned off if it goes overly spiritual, but at the same time I feel that some level of spirituality (with the context explained in a myth) would help add an almost supernatural level to it that a lot of modern media doesn’t have.
  • How long do I want to go for? I think I’d like to shoot for at least 100 pages. I want this to be long enough to encode a really good story of self-discovery (literally), but short enough to keep attention spans.

For Aury.



from #shortblogs

If you’ve finished a serving of Samyang instant noodles, the odds are that you are going to tell someone about it. You might even shoot a vlog of yourself eating it. This is an example of a remarkable product. The company who made it built their marketing inside the product. They did not create another average and boring noodles for everybody. Instead, they ignored all the people who don’t like hot and spicy food and made an extreme one. Only a few people will love it? For sure. But these people told their friends about it and we saw the viral phenomenon it created. It resulted with a market traction that saves a lot of marketing money for the company. Because they no longer need to pay TV or print ads to let the consumers know about their product. Now, why would you still create a boring product?



from Duaynekalade Parnell Bey

time portal timeportal

ancient alchemist master of 10,000 signs of the vulture lodge

high priest of the divine order of the talon

clawed hand grip plus nasally screech is the greeting

give up the secrets and your beloved get tortured for generations

Kennedy your next of kin for decades

push the sword back in the stone and draw blood blacker than the oil from the line of Camelot

more ancient than the Pyramids

elixir of the gods who pull the puppet strings of the breathing dead

who have the power to slay Jupiter Zeus and the rest of them

but still – they don't know the infinite power that resides within

they get sacrificed anytime the wind blows or when the gods are scheduled to eat or when they feel like it

they hide the truth in plain sight of the plane-sighters

offspring of the Titans

which means their Titan's themselves

minds now like children

they fear their own artifacts and DNA facts

cause they forgot that they existed before the Sphinx was on Mars

they only know iron bars

their thoughts are limited like they are in bars

they spit bars of tribal war scars

empty stories of killing kin

and drinking man made elixirs

which make it easier ​in the matrix navigation

sleepwalkers who believe that god came down in the flesh


appointed other humans to show them the way to the creator

for 10% of their wages

​humans always mess up the experience of being human

where are all the sages?

cyclopian man dead to life - and blind as a mere mortal

forgot he created the time portal after he stepped thru it

now he's going thru it

he lives in hell within a hell while in a shell

higher mind? prove it

© 2017, Duaynekalade Parnell Bey, All rights reserved


from Mind Gods

mind If you're anything like me, you spend a lot of time thinking about the nature of reality. Many of us wander through life believing that only the material world is valid, that what is imagined is somehow secondary to the universe that we can touch and smell and taste. Letting go of these notions is key to understanding the nature of magic.


from ezra miguel

Eu costumava ser um colecionador.

Sempre gostei de ter “coisinhas”, na maior parte das vezes inúteis. Cadernos, figuras de ação, livros que eu nunca lia e algumas miudezas como anéis, embora eu não usasse. Me dava conforto. Não sei bem a razão. Às vezes eu enjoava dessas coisas e as doava, mas isso apenas deixava espaço para outras. E eu conseguia outras coisas.

Eu poderia até dizer que essas coisas tinham significado. Que eram presentes. Que eu as usava. Mas seria mentira. Elas ficavam fechadas em caixas ou expostas juntando poeira. Isso ficava difícil em algumas épocas por causa da minha saúde mental: eu comprava, comprava, comprava para preencher o vazio e depois me arrependia, mas fingia que não – escondia o arrependimento porque, afinal, eu tinha feito algo que me alegrava. Então eu tinha montanhas e montanhas de certos objetos. Intocados por mim. Objetos que me faziam sentir culpa quando eu olhava para eles, mas que eu expunha como troféus. Troféus de quê? Eu sempre queria mostrar esses objetos para as pessoas, como se tê-los fosse fonte de orgulho. Mas eram objetos.

Recentemente, há alguns meses, eu fiz um “desapego”. Me livrei de várias coisas que não queria ou precisava mais. Livros, em sua maior parte, que tinha lido ou não queria mais ler. Boa parte das minhas “coisinhas” também se foram. E eu me senti melhor depois de fazer isso. Meu quarto ainda estava inundado de coisas, mas era bem menos do que antes.

Eu costumava – e talvez ainda faça isso – atribuir muito valor sentimental às coisas que eu tinha. Se tal livro me trazia uma lembrança boa, eu o mantinha, mesmo que não quisesse ler mais. Esse exercício é algo que me mantinha nos trilhos, porque me fazia pensar que, apesar de tudo de ruim que acontecia na minha vida, ainda tinha algumas coisas boas. Mas era isso: coisas.

E, de repente, ter tantas coisas começou a pesar. Eu não conseguia respirar dentro do meu quarto porque não tinha um lugar vazio, um lugar para o qual eu pudesse olhar e simplesmente olhar, sem ver nada. Eu não queria mais ver lombadas de livros. Eu não queria mais ver aquela máquina fotográfica que eu comprei por impulso. Eu não queria ver aquelas manchas na minha parede, de um quadro eu tirei.

Eu me sentia inútil tendo tantas coisas e sendo incapaz de fazer algo com elas.

Então, um dia – ontem, na verdade – eu resolvi pesquisar sobre o estilo de vida minimalista. Dei uma olhada no site The Minimalists e li alguns artigos. Percebi que poderia ser algo bom para mim. Não demorou muito para que eu começasse a fazer outra sessão de “desapego”, começando pelos livros físicos. Consegui eliminar quarenta dos mais de cem que eu tinha. Foi fácil, mais porque eu tinha edições deles no meu Kindle do que por qualquer outra razão. Depois disso, eu fiquei mais ou menos até as onze da noite tirando coisas do meu quarto. Roupas, objetos inúteis de dentro da gaveta e “coisinhas”.

As coisinhas são difíceis. Elas são caras – não só emocionalmente, mas economicamente também. Eu olhava para essas coisas e pensava se não ia sentir falta delas. Então eu me lembrei do que um dos Minimalistas escreveu. O que me impede?. O que exatamente tem de tão bom, de tão místico em um objeto de plástico ou papel que, além de ter me deixado com dívidas, não serve para nada?

Então eu me livrei deles. Da maior parte deles. Não joguei no lixo, mas doei para alguém que veria mais utilidade neles do que eu.

Alguns objetos permanecem. Dois deles. Meu ideal é me livrar de todos quando eu puder, quando não sentir tanta ânsia de ter algo que me conforte.

Aqui começa minha jornada no minimalismo, em busca de uma vida melhor.

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