Want to join in? Respond to our weekly writing prompts, open to everyone.
Want to join in? Respond to our weekly writing prompts, open to everyone.
from
G A N Z E E R . T O D A Y
Fun Andy Weir interview, whose books I never read. I've only watched the movie adaptations, which weren't quite my jam, but judging a film-adaptation is no way to judge an author's work. Either way, the interview is fun and inspiring and does provide some food for thought.
The entire part 1 of COLLIDER by Warren Ellis and Jerome Eyequem, which is being serialized at Warren's Orbital Operations newsletter. Strong STALKER vibes, but clearly far more demented.
Steven Heller on his time as art-director for EVERGREEN, a magazine that “devolved” into a paperback periodical. Didn't even know this was a thing. Somewhere in the back of my mind I've been toying with the idea of a regular paperback zine of sorts for quite a long time now.
Kickstarter for Catherine Tedford's PAPER BULLETS: 120 Years of Political Stickers From Around the World forthcoming from PM Press, which I'm fortunate to have some work in.
Fonts-in-Use looks at fashion designer Tania Marcial's DELIVERY collection. Strong thrift-wear vibes.
More podcast note-taking today and a new plumbing issue I gotta look into, when all I'd really like to do is read and write right now. Should also start thinking about the next edition of the RESTRICTED FREQUENCY newsletter, which is supposed to go out in 4 days. Do what you love and never have to work a day in your life, they said.
#radar
from ptrbs
So, starting a blog, or a journal as you like. How do you even do it? I am currently staring at this blank page trying to put whatever the hell is going on in my brain into words. Let me tell you, it is not easy.
Maybe I can first start with the why? Why would I do this, and why do I think anyone else will care. Well, I don't think they do. It is mostly an exercise for myself to express the “whatever the hell is going on in my brain”. I am not going to stick to a single topic, I will probably be all over the place, but I do think it's helpful for myself to write some things down. If someone else happens to like to read it, so be it. It is also not topics and things I feel like I need to hide from the public.
How many times do I need to write though? Once a day? Once a week? 500 words every post? I think it's easy to try to make some ground rules, but I also think it will hinder whatever creativity I have in myself. So, it is probably going to be quite irregular, and I am fine with that.
One thing I do believe strongly about is that I will not use any AI tools to do any of my writing, proofreading, summarizing, spell-checking or whatever it could potentially do. Sure, this will make my posts flawed when it comes to spelling and grammar, but I am also fine with that.
For today I think a simple introduction is sufficient: Hi, I am Pieter, 39 years old (shit, almost 40), and living in Berlin with my wife and son. Pretty nerdy about technology, loving music + books, and currently recovering from a not so nice burnout at work.
To whoever will read this at some point: Hi to you! Hope you enjoy all the mess I am writing down and hurling into the world. See you soon!
from An Open Letter
I had my squat primary day today and it hurts so bad during back offs. I couldn’t finish a set and then I fully stopped. I continued the rest of the program and it got so bad where it was agony even just to exist sitting down. I am honestly really disappointed because the whole reason I got a Coach was to work on this issue and have it go away, but my coach hasn’t really done anything other than saying that we’ll have to watch and see, and hasn’t changed my program at all. I feel like my program is just a cookie cutter paste that isn’t getting customized at all which I really don’t like.
On Mastodon I try to write a list of 3 good things every day. It’s such a great habit to have and I decided that, instead of attempting to update my now page, I’d make this post, wildly inspired by this post by cygnoir!
1. I’ve finished a headband in nålebinding and I love it so much! Just look at the beautiful pattern it creates.

2. I went to Amsterdam, hitching a ride with my husband. It was SO nice to have a couple hours in the city centre. I brought the original campsnap camera along for the adventure. Will share more pictures later :) 
3. I couldn’t sleep one night and decided to hand code a website. I even snagged a fancy JavaScript from somewhere so that the header, footer and navigation are automagically added to the pages.
4. I started the wardrobe switch from spring/summer to autumn/winter! Decluttered two bags of clothes in the process and still have the hanging clothes to go through.
5. Inktober started! I’m mostly following these fairytober prompts, but will go back to the official ones when I feel like it.

And to share a doodle, here is the wonky one I made for day 4. I use a platinum desk pen with carbon ink for each one, and I doodle in my Filofax.
I share all my doodles on my mastodon account.

from triptych
By Andrew Wooldridge
Game 060 in the collection is BRICKVADERS. The idea is simple: what if the aliens in Space Invaders were made of bricks, and your laser base was also a Breakout paddle?
It's 1983 and the Brick Armada is coming, an invasion fleet of aliens built out of living bricks, marching down on Earth in formation. Earth's last defence is the STRIKER, a ship that is half Breakout bat and half laser base. You bounce a plasma ball up into the formation to smash invaders and their brick armour, fire lasers between bounces, catch the capsules that fall out, and try to stop the Armada before it lands.
Like every game here, it uses no asset files. Every sprite, letter, explosion, backdrop and note of music is made in code. It's built with three.js and plays on a phone as well as on a desktop.
The goal was for it to feel like a vertical monitor glowing in the corner of an arcade in 1983. The whole game is drawn into a 240 × 320 render target, the shape of a vertical arcade screen, then scaled up with nearest-neighbour sampling so the pixels stay chunky. On the way to your screen it goes through phosphor persistence (moving things leave a faint trail, like an old tube), bloom, and a CRT pass with curvature, scanlines, an aperture grille, a vignette and a little chromatic aberration. You can switch the CRT off if you prefer clean pixels.
The fun part is that every pixel is a real 3D cube. Invaders, bricks, the paddle, bullets, capsules, even the letters in the logo are instances of one InstancedMesh of boxes, lined up exactly on the 240 × 320 grid. The camera sits far back with a narrow field of view, so the flat playfield matches the pixel grid exactly, but anything with depth really is 3D.
That gives the game its look:
Behind the playfield, each of the five sectors has its own dim 3D backdrop: a lunar surface with Earth rising, a neon nebula, an asteroid belt, a synthwave sun over a grid, and finally the inside of the mothership. Even the HUD and menus are drawn in a hand-made 5 × 7 pixel font into the same low-res screen, so they glow and scanline like everything else.
My favourite detail is the sound. In Space Invaders the march speeds up as the aliens thin out. BRICKVADERS takes that literally: one beat of the music is one step of the formation. The simulation owns a beat clock and sends out timestamped beat events, and the Web Audio code schedules notes against the audio clock so they land sample-accurately.
Each beat plays the four-note march bassline, shifted into the current sector's chord, along with drums and a pulse-wave lead through a delay. Clear out the formation and the whole song speeds up with it. Brick hits play a rising pentatonic run, so a long chain of ball hits sounds like one melody.
Bosses, challenge stages, the title screen and the ending have their own songs on the same machinery, and there's a full set of generated sound effects, from the paddle blip (pitched by where the ball lands) to the warbling mystery-ship siren.
The ball bounces Arkanoid-style: the angle depends on where it hits the paddle, and it speeds up a little with each hit. Your laser works like the original Space Invaders cannon, with one shot on screen at a time. Every hit the ball makes before it comes back to the paddle adds to your chain, and every five links add ×1 to your score multiplier, up to ×5.
The formation marches left and right and drops at each edge, the way you'd expect. If it reaches the ground, you lose a ship and it gets pushed back up. Mixed in with the invaders are bricks: rainbow bricks (it's Breakout, after all), silver bricks that crack, gold bricks only a fireball can break, TNT bricks that chain-react, and prize bricks that always drop a capsule.
There are nine kinds of invader, and the later ones change how you play:
Capsules work the way Arkanoid fans will expect: Laser, Expand, Catch, Multi-ball, Fireball, Slow, Barrier, Nova bomb and the rare 1UP. The Nova bomb wipes every enemy bullet off the screen and blasts everything. There's also a mystery ship that crosses the top of the screen, and yes, the old trick still works: your 23rd laser shot always scores the full 300.
A loop is 24 stages: five sectors of three waves and a boss, with a challenge stage after the first four bosses.
SectorBoss1 · Lunar Outpost
King Krabbo, a giant crab of bricks with claw cannons2 · Neon Nebula
The Saucerator, a huge saucer with a spinning light ring and a death beam3 · Asteroid Alley
Rockjaw, an asteroid skull whose steel jaw opens and shuts over its core4 · Synth City
Phantom Queen, a flagship with a giant tractor beam and diver escorts5 · The Hive
The Overmind, a brain in a brick skull, in three phases
The bosses are big grids of cells, and you have to dig through them. There's armour to break, steel that won't break, gun ports that shoot until you knock them out, and a pulsing core that is the only thing that can kill the boss. Bosses rebuild armour around the core over time, so you have to keep at it. Breaking a cell sometimes cracks its neighbour, so tunnels open up. At a quarter of the core's health the boss hits CORE EXPOSED! and its hard armour crumbles for the finish.
The challenge stages are a nod to Galaga: five squadrons of eight invaders fly scripted loops without shooting back. You get rapid twin lasers and a ball that respawns for free. Hit all 40 for a PERFECT!! and 10,000 points.
Beat the Overmind and you get brick fireworks and credits, then Loop 2, where everything is tougher and faster, and it keeps going from there.
I wanted the full cabinet experience, not just the game:
On a phone, the screen sits on top and an arcade control panel fills the space underneath: a ridged spinner pad you drag across, a big red FIRE button and a yellow BOMB button. Turn the phone sideways and the pad moves to the left with the buttons on the right. Dragging moves the paddle relative to where your finger started, so your finger never covers it. It also works with a keyboard, a mouse or a gamepad.
As with the other recent games, the dev/ folder has its own test harnesses:
simtest.mjs has the AI pilot clear every stage of two full loops headlessly in Node, on both difficulties, in about ten seconds. It fails on any exception, any NaN, or a ball that escapes the field.browsertest.mjs drives the real game in Chromium: the attract mode, menus, a game over and initials entry, all 24 stages, the ending and Loop 2, then touch-only phones in portrait and landscape. It fails on any console error.The same bot that runs the tests also plays the demo in the attract mode. The whole game is about 5,500 lines of plain JavaScript modules with no build step.
BRICKVADERS is a tribute to the genre, not a copy of any one game. Every alien, the mystery ship and the shields are original designs. The three basic grunts (GLOOP, a one-eyed goo blob; BUZZ, a shelled space beetle; and PEEPER, a bat-winged eyeball) replaced earlier sprites that looked too much like the classic octopus, crab and squid.
Play BRICKVADERS, or find its statue in the Garden of Games with the rest of the collection. If you want to see how it's built, the design doc covers everything from the voxel shader to the boss phases.
Insert coin. Have fun!
from bios
Reactionary Reviews | Crossed Out | dir: Ernst Roets & Pierre Malan
Crossed Out is a giant temper tantrum of a film. With the visual language of InfoWars, FOX News and myopia, it is, as a film, a batshit rendering of an issue through a selective lens with graphics envisioned by a four-year-old who likes staring into the sun and thinks daddy has abandoned him because he left his blankie in the palatial chicken coop. Somebody needs a fucking nap. The film opens with a terrifying image of the devil himself, Julius Malema, his face transposed over a satellite image of South Africa at night, the word INCITEMENT flashing across the red flag in many fonts (sadly Roets does not use Wingdings). It's night and the blacks are coming! And they're communists!
The word incitement is flashed on screen so many times that it is, well, an incitement.
Roets in VO claims the film is an investigation. An investigation does not start with a conclusion. At no point in the first thirty minutes do Roets and co interrogate what Kill The Boer, the chant, even means. Case in point is the showing of a stadium full of EFF supporters chanting Dubul' ibhunu and then cutting to Trump's explanation of that moment. Trump thinks it’s about individual farmers, lol, but then the film makes the claim that BBBEE is hurting white capital, therefore arguing that the song is actually about what it is about, the end of white monopoly capital. An epistemological own goal. Laduuuuuma!
My favourite part is Roets describing footage of Trump and Ramaphosa in the White House, then showing a clip of the lights dimming before the footage is shown to Trump. The meaning of this moment is explained by Roets. The clip is shown twice. TWICE! Did Elon not give you enough money to buy all the news footage?
You'll notice I said the first thirty minutes. Crossed Out is so irredeemably bad as a film that I couldn't watch much beyond that. A film that starts with a conclusion does not need to be watched until completion.
Crossed Out is a giant cocksuck up to capital, a plea for a saviour, someone, anyone, to rid them of their terrible plight. Because the plight must exist in order to get paid. The stated plight is rural violence, targeted at Afrikaners, the actual plight is that Roets needs his daddy because he can’t pick up a fucking spade and build anything of his own.
In a fake documentary being made in the Woody Allen film Crimes and Misdemeanors, Alan Alda once said, while holding a ruler up to the camera, “If it bends, it's funny. If it breaks, it's not funny.” Yes, I am quoting Woody Allen while discussing a film about the systematic repression of a persecuted minority that is not a persecuted minority. Woody Allen also claimed he was the subject of a witch hunt. If it breaks, it's not funny.
What breaks in Crossed Out, the tragedy of the film, is the weaponisation of trauma. These people were subjected to massive violence and trauma and grief, the people that Roets trots out as evidence of his claims, and no one has disputed that rural violence is something that happens. It is the use of these narratives to support untrue statistical claims that actually feels quite disgusting when you see it on screen (yes, I skipped forward). The pain is real. The claim is not. And in this gap there is a cruelty. What do these victims of violence gain from this film? A promise of an enclave of safety? This usage of grief is so deeply uncomfortable that it feels like Roets is doing something here that should be forbidden. Using people to advance the demands of capital enrichment. But this has never stopped the free market.
The essential problem with Crossed Out is that it never starts to investigate its own assumptions. The secondary problem is that it is just a fucking badly made film. It is a laughable attempt at documentary, and in that it is actually a successful document of our times. A wild misreading of reality. However, it is allowable under the law of Free Speech, much like Dubul' ibhunu. Embracing that is part of living in this strange land. Something Crossed Out refuses to accept.
Three interviews are telling. The first black face we see on the screen arguing for Roets' position (we never see anyone arguing against it in any depth) is credited as being from a Free Market lobbying group. Because capitalism will fix everything.
Then an interview with a member of the New Republican Club explaining a situation he has not experienced.
And then an interview with Martin van Staden, Head of Policy at the Free Market Foundation, explaining a clip of someone explaining what BBBEE is. In the clip she states that there are no race-based laws in South Africa, but there are laws that aim to redress the economic imbalances brought on by the apartheid government's race laws. The clip is shown in short segments, we do not hear the full response, and the woman being quoted is never named. She is black. What we do get is Martin van Staden in a woefully stupid hat, claiming that she said in one breath that there are no race-based laws and in the next that there are. Martin van Staden has as firm a grasp of logic as he does of millinery.
Roets and co claim they want self-determination, but that is already allowed for in Section 235 of the constitution. They claim they want no BEE for international investors, but that is already allowed for in the Equity Equivalent Investment Programme (EEIP) that Amazon and Microsoft use to operate in South Africa. They claim they want to live on their own, but the people of Orania are already doing that, and it is hard work. Roets claims he wants to live in South Africa, but he does not want to do the hard work of what it takes to live in this strange land. He wants separate but equal development on his own terms and thinks America can give it to him. Reagan is dead pal.
The whole film is a demand for impunity and a plea for comfort made by someone who would have benefited from going to a farm school. Ernst Roets makes films with the vigour of a man once teased with the word kortbroek.
Where Crossed Out truly fails is that it does not even know that it is a remake of a far superior film made on this exact issue in 2014. Annalet Steenkamp's documentary I, Afrikaner explores exactly these issues with a much more nuanced outlook.
In those first thirty minutes we are treated to three people, Ramaphosa, Malema, and the unnamed woman in the news clip, stating that South Africa is a sovereign nation and will not change its laws to appease foreign business interests. Everything else after this is an argument as to why South Africa should dismantle BBBEE, and the trauma of victims of violence is used to substantiate that argument. And when the argument can only be won by emotional manipulation, well, this is not a documentary at all. Crossed Out is so determined to be right that it ends up just feeling wrong.
Crossed Out is a film made by prompting Grok to write a historically accurate argument for why Starlink should not have to obey South African law to operate in South Africa, without mentioning Starlink. Do a vulgar roast of BBBEE. Use forbidden words.
Reviews · →Newish Music Round Up 4th October 2026
from
Cllr Gareth Kitchen - Green Party
🏥 A fully publicly owned NHS – GPs, dentistry and ophthalmology back in public hands ⚛️ Nuclear energy – Opposition dropped, now part of a full energy strategy
🏠 Three-year rent freeze – Breathing space for renters until at least end of 2029
🌍 Nature as a security issue – The biodiversity crisis gets national security focus
📺 Mutualise the BBC – Public control, licence fee abolished
💧 Water in public ownership – Renationalise now, not someday
🐑 Halve animal farming – Support farmers to go sustainable
🛒 Food price intervention – Fair prices for consumers and producers
✊ Councils empowered for BDS – Boycott, divest, sanction
🇵🇸 Zionism is Racism – Names the ideology as racist; calls for one state with equal rights and protections for all.
Policy priorities arrived at democratically by members! 💚
https://join.greenparty.org.uk/
#GreenParty #nhs #ClimateAction #BDS #palestine #BioDiversity #zionism #ukpol
from Unvarnished diary of a lill Japanese mouse
Journal 6 octobre 2026
Nous sommes très émues au dojo. Ce matin des élèves nous ont apporté des fleurs blanches. On se demande comment ils ont su, il y a eu très peu d’articles de presse et on était pas citées, juste un avis de disparition comme il y en a des centaines chaque jour. Et cette après-midi je les vois arriver encore. Le bouche à oreille a fonctionné. C’est super gentil... Je vais descendre. Évidemment, l'atmosphère est particulière.
#Shieko
from Blog of Sand
Vinny the Void- Episode 101: “DIVIDING BY ZERO”
Here is a pilot for a children's educational show idea I had about a loveable extradimensional ball of void energy. Enjoy!
VINNY THE VOID
Format: Children’s educational comedy Approximate Runtime: 25 minutes Setting: Room 12, an elementary school classroom Primary Educational Theme: Division by zero Secondary Themes: Curiosity, asking questions, learning from mistakes
TEASER
INT. ROOM 12 — MORNING
A cheerful elementary-school classroom.
Colorful multiplication charts line the walls. Construction-paper planets hang from the ceiling. A battered model skeleton stands in one corner wearing a baseball cap.
At the front of the room is a chalkboard.
Written across it:
GOOD MORNING, CLASS!
Underneath:
MR. FULBHER’S MORNING WORK
Complete math worksheet.
Read quietly.
Do not sharpen pencils until 10:00.
Mr. Fulbher will be back shortly.
At the teacher’s desk sits a coffee mug reading:
WORLD’S OKAYEST TEACHER
A sport coat hangs over the back of Mr. Fulbher’s chair.
Mr. Fulbher himself is nowhere to be seen.
Twenty CHILDREN sit at their desks.
THEO, nine, curious and mechanically inclined, pokes at a pocket calculator.
MAYA, energetic and fearless, leans sideways toward him.
MAYA How long has he been gone?
THEO Twenty-three minutes.
OLIVER, a cautious boy sitting nearby, looks toward the classroom door.
OLIVER He said he was going to the copy room.
LENA Maybe there was a line.
MAYA For twenty-three minutes?
OLIVER Teachers make a lot of copies.
MAYA Yesterday he went to make copies and Mrs. Cooper saw him asleep in his car.
OLIVER Maybe he was waiting for the copier to warm up.
Maya looks at him.
OLIVER I don’t know how copiers work.
The classroom INTERCOM crackles.
SECRETARY (V.O.) Room Twelve? Has anyone seen Mr. Fulbher?
The children glance at one another.
MAYA Not recently.
SECRETARY (V.O.) All right. If he comes back, tell him Principal Watkins is looking for him.
THEO Okay.
SECRETARY (V.O.) And tell him his car is still running.
A click.
Silence.
MAYA See?
Theo continues entering numbers into his calculator.
LENA What are you doing?
THEO Seeing what the calculator can do.
He presses buttons.
THEO Nine times nine.
The calculator reads:
81
THEO Square root of eighty-one.
9
MAYA Do a really big number.
Theo types.
THEO Nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine times nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine.
The calculator thinks.
Then produces an answer.
MAYA Boring.
THEO Okay. You pick something.
Maya considers.
MAYA Divide seven by zero.
Oliver looks over immediately.
OLIVER Can you do that?
THEO I don’t know.
LENA Mr. Fulbher says you’re not supposed to.
MAYA Mr. Fulbher also says we’re supposed to use cursive.
LENA Good point.
Theo types:
7 ÷ 0
His finger hovers over the equals button.
OLIVER Wait.
THEO What?
OLIVER I just feel like maybe we shouldn’t.
MAYA It’s a calculator, Oliver.
OLIVER That’s what people always say right before something happens.
Maya reaches over.
MAYA Just push it.
Theo presses:
=
The calculator screen flickers.
ERROR
THEO See? It just says—
The classroom lights DIM.
The kids look up.
The fluorescent fixtures BUZZ.
The calculator begins emitting a strange electronic WHINE.
OLIVER Theo.
THEO I didn’t do anything!
MAYA You divided by zero.
THEO You told me to!
A low RUMBLE fills the room.
The chalkboard trembles.
One of the hanging paper planets begins rotating on its string.
Lena stares at the center of the classroom.
LENA Um...
A tiny BLACK DOT appears in midair.
Perfectly black.
Not painted black. Not shadowed.
Black in a way that seems almost wrong.
It grows from the size of a pea...
...to the size of a marble...
...to the size of a basketball.
The rumbling stops.
The lights return to normal.
Floating three feet above the floor is a perfectly black sphere roughly three feet across.
The children stare at it.
The sphere stares back.
Or at least seems to.
It has no face.
No eyes.
No mouth.
Nothing reflects from its surface.
Twenty children remain completely silent.
Then—
VINNY HELLO!
The entire class SCREAMS.
CUT TO TITLE SEQUENCE.
OPENING TITLE SEQUENCE
Upbeat, absurdly cheerful music.
Vinny floats through colorful animated educational scenes with the children.
He hovers over a globe.
He watches a plant sprout.
He floats beside musical notes.
He accidentally touches a stack of blocks, causing one block to vanish completely.
The children laugh.
SONG
CHILDREN (SINGING) ♪ There’s so much in the world to know, ♪ ♪ So many places we can go! ♪ ♪ We’ll count and read and laugh and play, ♪ ♪ And learn a little every day! ♪
VINNY (SINGING) ♪ I came from somewhere very far— ♪
MAYA (SINGING) ♪ We’re still not sure exactly where you are! ♪
CHILDREN (SINGING) ♪ Ask a question, try something new, ♪ ♪ There’s always more for us to do! ♪
VINNY AND CHILDREN ♪ Come learn with Vinny! ♪
TITLE CARD:
VINNY THE VOID
Vinny bumps gently against the edge of the title.
The letter “D” disappears.
The title now reads:
VINNY THE VOI
VINNY Oops!
CUT TO:
ACT ONE
INT. ROOM 12 — CONTINUOUS
The children have backed against the walls.
Vinny continues floating peacefully in the middle of the classroom.
VINNY HELLO!
Nobody responds.
Vinny waits.
VINNY Is this not a greeting place?
Theo slowly raises one hand.
THEO Hi?
VINNY HI!
The windows RATTLE from the volume.
Oliver covers his ears.
OLIVER Could you maybe say things... quieter?
VINNY Oh.
A beat.
VINNY (very softly) Hi.
Lena cautiously steps forward.
LENA What are you?
Vinny rotates slightly.
VINNY I don’t know.
MAYA You don’t know what you are?
VINNY Do you?
Maya pauses.
MAYA A person.
VINNY Oh!
Vinny turns toward Oliver.
VINNY Are you a person?
OLIVER Yes.
Vinny turns toward Theo.
VINNY Are you?
THEO Also a person.
Vinny rotates slowly, taking in the entire room.
VINNY So many people!
He floats enthusiastically toward them.
Everyone SHRIEKS and scatters.
VINNY stops.
VINNY Did I do something?
Oliver points.
OLIVER You’re a giant floating black ball!
VINNY looks down at himself.
VINNY Yes.
OLIVER That’s unusual!
VINNY Oh.
Vinny considers this.
VINNY You’re beige.
OLIVER I’m not beige.
MAYA Kind of.
OLIVER Maya!
Theo cautiously approaches.
THEO Where did you come from?
VINNY There.
Theo looks.
THEO Where?
VINNY Not here.
MAYA That clears it up.
Theo looks at the calculator.
Its screen still reads:
ERROR
THEO Did you come out of my calculator?
VINNY What is a calculator?
Theo holds it up.
THEO This.
Vinny floats closer.
THEO Wait—
Vinny brushes the corner of the calculator.
There is no flash.
No explosion.
The calculator simply CEASES TO EXIST where Vinny touched it.
Half of it drops to the floor.
Theo stares at the remaining piece.
Everyone freezes.
VINNY Oh.
THEO My calculator!
VINNY I’m sorry.
Theo picks up the half-calculator.
The severed edge is impossibly smooth.
THEO Where did the other half go?
VINNY Away.
MAYA Away where?
VINNY Away.
MAYA Can we get it back?
VINNY No.
Oliver’s eyes widen.
OLIVER You destroy things?!
VINNY I don’t think “destroy” is right.
OLIVER What word would you use?
VINNY Gone.
Oliver points urgently at Vinny.
OLIVER Nobody touch him!
VINNY That is probably a good idea.
Lena had been slowly extending one finger toward Vinny.
She immediately withdraws it.
LENA Good to know.
Maya picks up a pencil.
MAYA What happens if—
OLIVER NO.
MAYA I was just going to—
OLIVER No experiments!
MAYA You don’t even know what my experiment was.
OLIVER Did it involve touching him with something?
MAYA Yes.
OLIVER Then no.
Vinny sounds disappointed.
VINNY I like experiments.
Maya beams.
MAYA See?
OLIVER That doesn't help!
Theo examines the ruined calculator.
THEO You showed up right after I divided by zero.
Vinny perks up.
VINNY Zero!
THEO You know zero?
VINNY No!
Theo looks confused.
VINNY What is zero?
MAYA It means nothing.
Vinny goes completely still.
VINNY Nothing?
MAYA Yeah.
VINNY There is a number for nothing?
MAYA Zero.
VINNY That is wonderful.
Vinny spins slowly in midair.
VINNY You made a symbol for absence.
The kids look at one another.
LENA I guess.
VINNY People are amazing.
Oliver whispers to Theo.
OLIVER I think we broke math.
INT. ROOM 12 — MOMENTS LATER
The children have returned to their desks, though nobody sits particularly close to Vinny.
Theo stands at the chalkboard.
He writes:
0
Vinny hovers six feet away.
THEO This is zero.
VINNY Zero.
THEO It means none.
Theo picks up three pieces of chalk.
THEO If I have three pieces of chalk—
He places them on the tray.
THEO —I have three.
He removes them.
THEO If I take all three away...
The tray is empty.
THEO I have zero.
VINNY You have a tray.
THEO Right. Zero pieces of chalk.
VINNY Ah.
Lena holds up a box of crayons.
LENA If there are twelve crayons in here, there are twelve.
She dumps the crayons onto her desk.
LENA If Maya takes all twelve—
Maya immediately gathers them.
LENA —then I have zero crayons.
MAYA And I have twelve.
LENA Give those back.
Maya does.
VINNY Zero describes something that is not there.
THEO Exactly.
VINNY I like zero.
MAYA You really do seem like a zero kind of guy.
VINNY Thank you!
MAYA I meant—
THEO Just let him have it.
The INTERCOM crackles.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (V.O.) Room Twelve?
All the kids look up.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (V.O.) Has Mr. Fulbher returned?
MAYA No.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (V.O.) Did he happen to say where he was going?
The children think.
LENA He said, “I need five minutes.”
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (V.O.) When was that?
Theo checks the classroom clock.
THEO Thirty-eight minutes ago.
A long silence from the intercom.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (V.O.) I see.
VINNY drifts toward the speaker.
VINNY HELLO!
The children panic.
Theo waves frantically.
THEO Shhh!
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (V.O.) Who was that?
Maya thinks quickly.
MAYA New student.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (V.O.) We have a new student?
MAYA Very new.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (V.O.) Well... tell Mr. Fulbher to call the office when he returns.
The intercom clicks off.
Vinny lowers his voice.
VINNY Did I do it wrong again?
LENA A little.
VINNY I am learning.
ACT TWO
INT. ROOM 12 — LATER
Theo has written a division problem on the board:
12 ÷ 3 = 4
VINNY What is this?
THEO Division.
VINNY What does division do?
MAYA It breaks numbers into groups.
Theo takes twelve plastic counting cubes from a math bin.
THEO Suppose we have twelve cubes.
He counts them onto a desk.
ALL One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
THEO And we want to split them into three equal groups.
He makes three groups of four.
THEO Four in this group, four in this group, and four in this group.
He points to the board.
THEO So twelve divided by three equals four.
VINNY Twelve things become three groups of four things.
THEO Right.
VINNY Division organizes things.
MAYA Sometimes.
VINNY I like division.
Oliver looks suspiciously at Vinny.
OLIVER Maybe don't organize anything yourself.
VINNY Why?
OLIVER Because when you organize things, there might be fewer things afterward.
VINNY That is fair.
Theo writes:
10 ÷ 2 = 5
THEO Ten divided into two equal groups means five in each group.
Vinny circles around the desk, careful to maintain distance.
VINNY What about zero?
Theo pauses.
THEO Zero divided by something works.
VINNY It does?
Theo removes all the cubes.
THEO Suppose we have zero cubes and four groups.
He places four paper circles on the desk.
THEO How many cubes go in each group?
VINNY studies the empty circles.
VINNY None.
THEO Right. Zero.
He writes:
0 ÷ 4 = 0
VINNY Zero divided by four equals zero.
LENA Because you can't share something you don't have.
MAYA My brother does that all the time.
LENA What?
MAYA He says he'll share his candy after he already ate it.
Theo writes another expression:
12 ÷ 0 = ?
VINNY moves closer.
VINNY This is the one.
Theo nods.
THEO This is what I put in the calculator.
VINNY What is the answer?
THEO Apparently...
He gestures toward Vinny.
THEO You.
VINNY I am twelve divided by zero?
MAYA Maybe.
Oliver stands.
OLIVER No. We should not tell the giant space hole that he is a math answer unless we are sure.
VINNY That seems reasonable.
Theo thinks.
THEO Okay. Let's figure it out.
EDUCATIONAL SEGMENT — “TRY IT WITH GROUPS”
Bright MUSIC begins.
A colorful graphic appears beside the children:
LET’S TRY IT!
Theo places twelve counters on the table.
THEO Division can mean splitting things into equal groups.
VINNY We have twelve.
THEO Right.
VINNY And we need zero groups.
Theo nods.
Vinny waits.
THEO waits.
Everyone waits.
VINNY Where are the groups?
THEO There aren't any.
VINNY Where should I put the twelve things?
THEO That's the problem.
Maya picks up one counter.
MAYA We could put them here.
THEO Then that's one group.
Maya puts it back.
Lena points to another spot.
LENA What about over there?
THEO That would also be a group.
OLIVER If there are zero groups, there isn't anywhere to put them.
VINNY So twelve things cannot be divided into zero groups.
THEO Exactly.
A little animated equation appears:
12 ÷ 0 = ?
A cheerful question mark BOUNCES.
VINNY Maybe the answer is zero.
Theo writes:
12 ÷ 0 = 0 ?
THEO Let's check.
He writes underneath:
division ↔ multiplication
THEO Division and multiplication are connected.
MAYA Like opposites.
THEO Sort of.
He writes:
12 ÷ 3 = 4
Then:
4 × 3 = 12
THEO If twelve divided by three equals four, then four times three has to equal twelve.
VINNY I see.
Theo returns to:
12 ÷ 0 = ?
THEO So if twelve divided by zero had an answer, we could call the answer—
He writes:
?
MAYA Question Mark.
THEO No.
MAYA Kevin.
THEO Why Kevin?
MAYA We need a name.
VINNY I like Kevin.
THEO Fine.
Theo writes:
12 ÷ 0 = KEVIN
THEO If Kevin were the answer, then—
He writes:
KEVIN × 0 = 12
THEO This would have to be true.
Vinny pauses.
VINNY What number times zero makes twelve?
The children think.
Lena raises her hand.
LENA None.
THEO Exactly.
Theo writes examples.
1 × 0 = 0 5 × 0 = 0 100 × 0 = 0 1,000,000 × 0 = 0
VINNY Every number multiplied by zero equals zero.
THEO Right.
VINNY So no number multiplied by zero can equal twelve.
THEO Which means there is no number that works as the answer to twelve divided by zero.
Maya dramatically crosses out KEVIN.
MAYA Sorry, Kevin.
A cheerful animated stamp appears:
UNDEFINED
THEO That's why we say dividing a nonzero number by zero is undefined.
VINNY Undefined.
LENA It doesn't mean the answer is really huge.
THEO Right.
OLIVER It doesn't mean infinity.
THEO Right.
MAYA And it doesn't mean Vinny.
Everyone looks at Vinny.
VINNY Probably.
The music STOPS abruptly.
Everyone considers that.
MAYA Probably?
VINNY I do not know why I am here.
OLIVER Fantastic.
SONG: “YOU CAN’T DIVIDE BY ZERO”
A bouncy classroom tune begins.
Theo taps two counting sticks together.
THEO (SINGING) ♪ If twelve is split in groups of three, ♪ ♪ Four in each is what we see! ♪
LENA (SINGING) ♪ And zero split four ways is fine, ♪ ♪ There’s none for yours and none for mine! ♪
MAYA (SINGING) ♪ But take a number, any you know, ♪ ♪ And try to divide it by zero— ♪
ALL CHILDREN ♪ There’s no number that will do! ♪
VINNY ♪ Not four? ♪
CHILDREN ♪ No! ♪
VINNY ♪ Not ten? ♪
CHILDREN ♪ No! ♪
VINNY ♪ A billion? ♪
CHILDREN ♪ No! ♪
VINNY ♪ Kevin? ♪
CHILDREN ♪ NO! ♪
VINNY AND CHILDREN ♪ You can add with zero, subtract it too, ♪ ♪ Multiply by zero, we know what to do! ♪ ♪ But when zero is what you divide by, ♪ ♪ There’s no ordinary answer to try! ♪
A beat.
VINNY ♪ And sometimes you might summon a void guy! ♪
The children stop singing.
Theo looks directly at Vinny.
THEO I don't think that's usually part of it.
VINNY Oh.
The music resumes.
ALL ♪ Dividing by zero is undefined! ♪
They strike a pose.
Vinny spins happily.
He gets too close to a stack of worksheets on Mr. Fulbher's desk.
The corner of the stack disappears.
The children stare.
VINNY ...Undefined?
MAYA No, that one was definitely you.
ACT THREE
INT. ROOM 12 — AFTERNOON
The classroom now has a strip of masking tape on the floor making a large circle.
A handwritten sign reads:
VINNY ZONE
Vinny floats happily inside it.
OLIVER This is six feet in every direction.
MAYA You measured it four times.
OLIVER I like being alive.
VINNY I will stay inside the Vinny Zone.
LENA Unless we go outside.
VINNY Then we will make another Vinny Zone.
OLIVER Good.
Theo enters the circle carefully, carrying a long wooden pointer.
OLIVER Theo!
THEO I'm not touching him.
Theo extends the pointer.
The tip passes into Vinny.
It vanishes.
Theo pulls it back.
The pointer is now six inches shorter.
Maya's jaw drops.
MAYA Do it again.
OLIVER No!
VINNY I really am sorry about the things.
THEO It's okay.
OLIVER It is not okay.
THEO I mean, it's okay as long as we’re careful.
Vinny droops slightly.
Despite being a sphere, he somehow looks sad.
VINNY I do not want to make your things gone.
Lena smiles.
LENA Then don't touch them.
VINNY I will try.
MAYA Can you touch yourself?
Everyone turns toward Maya.
MAYA What? It's a valid question.
Vinny thinks.
VINNY I am always touching myself.
Maya's eyes widen.
MAYA Whoa.
OLIVER No.
MAYA What?
OLIVER Whatever thought you're having, no.
Theo looks at the board, where the earlier equation remains:
7 ÷ 0
THEO I still don't understand why you appeared.
VINNY Neither do I.
THEO What were you doing before?
VINNY Being.
THEO Where?
VINNY There was no where.
LENA Were there other people?
VINNY There were no people.
MAYA Other voids?
VINNY There were no others.
The children become quieter.
Theo looks at Vinny.
THEO Were you lonely?
Vinny doesn't answer immediately.
VINNY I did not know there were people.
LENA That's kind of sad.
VINNY It was not sad then.
A beat.
VINNY It would be sad now.
The children smile.
Then Oliver points cautiously at Vinny.
OLIVER You're still not hugging anybody.
VINNY I know.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY / ROOM 12 — CONTINUOUS
Footsteps approach.
The kids hear them.
Maya looks toward the door.
MAYA Someone's coming!
Oliver gasps.
OLIVER Principal Watkins!
Theo looks around.
THEO Hide Vinny!
The children freeze.
MAYA Where?
They all look at the three-foot-wide sphere of perfect nothingness.
OLIVER Closet!
THEO He'll erase the closet!
LENA Behind the curtain!
MAYA He's a black ball the size of a washing machine!
VINNY I can be quiet.
THEO It's not the noise that's the problem.
The classroom door handle turns.
Maya grabs a rolling chalkboard and pushes it in front of Vinny.
Vinny is completely hidden.
The door opens.
We do NOT see Principal Watkins fully. Only a hand and part of a suit sleeve enter frame.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) Children?
ALL Hi, Principal Watkins!
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) Everything all right?
ALL Yes!
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) Where is Mr. Fulbher?
Silence.
Maya looks at Theo.
Theo looks at Lena.
Lena looks at Oliver.
OLIVER We don't know.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) His car is gone.
MAYA Maybe he moved it.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) His coat is still here.
The children look at the coat hanging on the chair.
LENA He has other coats.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) His briefcase is here too.
They look under the desk.
Indeed, a briefcase.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) And his lunch.
A brown paper lunch bag sits beside it.
MAYA Maybe he forgot them.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) All of them?
MAYA He's very forgetful.
A long pause.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) That is true.
Behind the chalkboard, Vinny slowly drifts sideways.
His surface touches the corner of the board.
A perfectly circular chunk of chalkboard disappears.
Theo's eyes widen.
Through the missing section, Vinny is clearly visible.
Principal Watkins remains positioned just outside the doorway at an angle where he cannot see it.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) Well, the office received a phone call from Mr. Fulbher.
The kids lean forward.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) Apparently he's at home.
MAYA At home?
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) He says he went there during his planning period.
THEO Planning period was two hours ago.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) Yes.
Silence.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) He says he lost track of time.
Oliver mouths:
WOW.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) He also says there's a lesson plan in the blue folder on his desk.
All the kids groan.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) I'll send someone down to cover the class.
VINNY shifts again.
Another piece of chalkboard disappears.
Maya desperately holds the board still.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) Is something wrong with your chalkboard?
MAYA No!
A beat.
MAYA Old building.
PRINCIPAL WATKINS (O.S.) Right.
The door closes.
Footsteps recede.
The children exhale.
Maya rolls the ruined board away.
VINNY Was I hidden?
OLIVER Not well.
INT. ROOM 12 — MOMENTS LATER
Theo opens the blue folder on Mr. Fulbher's desk.
Inside is one sheet of paper.
He reads.
THEO “Independent study.”
The class groans again.
MAYA That's the whole lesson plan?
Theo turns the page over.
Blank.
THEO That's the whole lesson plan.
Vinny floats closer, staying carefully within his taped boundary.
VINNY What is independent study?
LENA It means Mr. Fulbher doesn't teach anything.
OLIVER It means we work by ourselves.
VINNY But you are not by yourselves.
Everyone looks at Vinny.
VINNY I am here.
Theo smiles.
THEO Yeah.
VINNY We could learn something.
MAYA Like what?
Vinny looks around the room.
There are books.
Maps.
Plants.
A globe.
Art supplies.
Science models.
Numbers.
Letters.
Music posters.
Vinny slowly rotates, overwhelmed by possibilities.
VINNY Everything.
The children laugh.
LENA You can't learn everything today.
VINNY Why not?
THEO There's too much.
Vinny considers this.
VINNY Then we should start now.
Theo picks up a piece of chalk.
THEO What do you want to learn first?
Vinny looks at the board.
At the number zero.
VINNY More numbers.
MAYA I vote dinosaurs.
LENA Animals.
OLIVER Safety.
MAYA You would.
Vinny spins happily.
VINNY We can learn all of those!
THEO Not all at once.
VINNY One at a time?
Theo nods.
THEO One at a time.
Vinny settles in front of the class.
The children return to their desks.
For the first time, the arrangement resembles a classroom with a teacher.
Except the teacher is a floating sphere of extradimensional nothingness.
VINNY Hello, class!
CHILDREN Hi, Vinny!
VINNY Today we learned that you cannot divide by zero.
THEO Right.
VINNY Because there is no number that works as the answer.
LENA Right.
VINNY And zero is not the same thing as nothing being important.
The kids pause.
THEO What do you mean?
VINNY Zero represents nothing.
Theo nods.
VINNY But you use it to understand things.
A beat.
VINNY So nothing can be useful.
Maya thinks about that.
MAYA That's actually pretty good.
Vinny sounds delighted.
VINNY I taught something!
OLIVER Technically Theo taught most of it.
VINNY We taught something!
THEO That's better.
The INTERCOM crackles.
SECRETARY (V.O.) Room Twelve?
THEO Yes?
SECRETARY (V.O.) We can't find anyone available to cover Mr. Fulbher's class.
Maya grins.
MAYA That's okay.
SECRETARY (V.O.) Are you sure?
Maya looks at Vinny.
Vinny floats proudly at the front of the room.
MAYA We've got it handled.
SECRETARY (V.O.) All right. Mr. Fulbher says he'll definitely be in tomorrow.
The entire class exchanges knowing looks.
OLIVER Sure.
SECRETARY (V.O.) What was that?
OLIVER Nothing!
The intercom clicks off.
Vinny gasps.
VINNY Nothing!
He points, metaphorically, at the word on the board.
VINNY Zero!
THEO Not exactly.
VINNY Oh.
Vinny pauses.
VINNY I still have much to learn.
THEO That's okay.
MAYA So do we.
Vinny bobs happily.
VINNY Then tomorrow we learn again!
The children cheer.
Vinny gets excited and floats backward.
THEO Vinny—
VINNY bumps Mr. Fulbher's coffee mug.
Half the mug vanishes.
The remaining half falls onto the desk.
Everyone stares.
VINNY Oh no.
MAYA That's Mr. Fulbher's favorite mug.
OLIVER He's going to notice that.
The children stare at it.
Then at one another.
Then toward the door.
THEO Is he?
A beat.
Everyone bursts into laughter.
Vinny laughs with them.
CLOSING EDUCATIONAL RECAP
A brightly colored graphic appears.
VINNY’S BIG IDEA
Vinny floats beside a cartoon chalkboard.
VINNY Today we learned about dividing by zero!
The board displays:
12 ÷ 3 = 4
VINNY Twelve divided by three is four because twelve can be split into three equal groups of four.
The board changes:
0 ÷ 4 = 0
VINNY Zero divided by four is zero. If there is nothing to share, each group gets nothing.
The board changes:
12 ÷ 0 = ?
VINNY But twelve divided by zero does not have an ordinary numerical answer.
Theo enters.
THEO If twelve divided by zero equaled some number, then that number times zero would have to equal twelve.
Maya enters.
MAYA But every number times zero equals zero.
She points.
5 × 0 = 0
100 × 0 = 0
1,000,000 × 0 = 0
THEO So no number works.
VINNY That means dividing a nonzero number by zero is—
ALL Undefined!
VINNY And remember—
Oliver rushes into frame.
OLIVER Don't try to summon anything with your calculator!
Everyone looks at him.
OLIVER What?
VINNY That is also a good rule.
END TAG
INT. ROOM 12 — LATE AFTERNOON
The room is empty except for Vinny.
Late sunlight enters through the windows.
Vinny floats alone near the chalkboard.
He looks at the equation:
7 ÷ 0
Then down at the broken calculator still resting on Theo's desk.
VINNY Seven divided by zero.
A beat.
VINNY Vinny.
He sounds pleased.
The classroom door opens just slightly.
We see no person.
Only the edge of the door.
A tired OLD MAN'S VOICE speaks from the hallway.
MR. FULBHER (O.S.) Did I leave my lunch in here?
Vinny turns toward the door.
VINNY HELLO!
A long silence.
The door slowly closes again.
Vinny waits.
VINNY Hello?
From far down the hallway:
MR. FULBHER (O.S.) I'll get it tomorrow.
Vinny turns back toward the classroom.
VINNY What a nice man.
CUT TO BLACK.
END.
from 3c0
I picked the Ashwagandha card today from the Dirt Gems Oracle deck. Here’s my reflections on the card:
My body. I’m building this. It will be strong and it will find time to walk or move at least 30 minutes each day. I will move slowly and intentionally. I will feed it the most nourishing things, at least 5 meals with vegetables and fruits each week. I will rest and move gently when I need to.
My mind. I’m building this. It will be responsive and calm, and not reactive. Compassionate and not abrasive. I will feed it nourishing and gentle knowledge. I will let go of thoughts. I will write and reflect for at least 20 minutes each day to encourage equanimity.
My spirit. I’m building this. It will be strong and connected to all. I will meditate at least 20 minutes each session. Preferably twice each day, once in the morning and once in the evening.
All is one. I see this and acknowledge this. Apart from all that I’ve said I will do. I will pull a card to further reflect on everything as one. I will reflect on things I notice. What about these things can teach a lesson for my body, mind, and spirit today?
—
Aside from these, writing to report and note that I’m a regular Redditor! I even have the app downloaded on my phone. I don’t think I ever was, but it’s been a place of refuge for the very specific topics and things I’m into, namely, photography with my RicohGR3, tarot readings and tarot deck discussions. On the latter, I’m mindful to buy any more without actual client work. But it’s been interesting to see the different decks we are each drawn to. My starter decks are so different from everyone’s. I was conscious and mindful about not starting with the Rider-Waite or the more traditional decks. My most-used deck is actually Thoth-based and I was surprised to learn that very recently.
Anyway, the community-collective aspect of Reddit has always been its strength. That and the S-tier humour. I appreciate that there’s still a community vibe somewhere on the Internet. I have noticed though, people can be so quick to react and judge people, even to those that are out-rightly asking for help. Why can’t we help without judging? Why do we have to know the whole context?
#daily #writing #takingcare #DirtGemsOracle #reflection
from Douglas Vandergraph | Quiet Christian Reflection

Chapter 1: The Quiet Place Where You Admit You Are Worn Down
Sometimes it happens late at night when nobody is asking anything from you for a few minutes. The house is finally quiet, the screen on your phone has gone dark, and you realize how tired you are of being the one who always handles everything. You may not even know who to say that to, because the people around you have become so used to your strength that you are not sure they would know what to do with your weariness. The Jesus and the pressure to become what others expect message matters in that private place because Jesus understood what it was like to have people constantly reaching for something from Him.
There is a kind of exhaustion that comes from doing too much, but there is another kind that comes from feeling like you are not allowed to stop. You may be carrying responsibilities because they matter, but you may also be carrying an image. The capable one. The steady one. The person who does not fall apart. The person who always answers. That is why learning to follow God when people expect you to keep being the strong one can become such a personal spiritual struggle.
Maybe nobody has directly told you that you have to keep doing everything. Maybe they do not need to. You already know the pattern. A family member calls because there is a problem. A coworker comes to you because they trust you to fix it. A friend reaches out because you are the person who listens. You care about all of them, but somewhere in the middle of being useful, you start disappearing from your own life.
That can be hard to admit because part of you may like being needed. Being dependable can feel meaningful. It can make you feel valuable. It can even become the way you understand your place in other people’s lives.
Then one day, you are sitting alone and wondering what would happen if you stopped holding everything together.
Would people still value you if you were not always solving something?
Would they still call if you were the one who needed help?
Would they understand if you said, “I cannot do this today”?
Jesus gives us a strange kind of comfort here because He did not live as if every need around Him was automatically His assignment. People searched for Him. Crowds followed Him. His disciples told Him that everyone was looking for Him. Still, there were moments when He stepped away to pray or moved on to another place.
He did not do that because He stopped caring.
He did it because love and obedience were not the same thing as endless availability.
That is difficult to believe when you have spent years proving your care through how much you carry.
Maybe you need to hear this quietly rather than dramatically: you are allowed to be a person in your own life.
You are allowed to need rest.
You are allowed to admit that something is too much.
You are allowed to pray before answering instead of responding out of habit.
God is not disappointed in you because you have limits. He already knows them. The more important question may be whether you are willing to recognize them too.
Sometimes the first step toward a healthier kind of faith is not doing more. It is becoming honest enough to say, even if only to God at first, “I am tired of pretending this does not cost me anything.”
Chapter 2: When You Start Wondering Who You Are Without the Role
You may notice the question on a quiet afternoon when nobody needs anything from you for once. The room feels almost unfamiliar because there is no problem to solve, no urgent message, and no responsibility demanding your attention. Instead of feeling relieved, you feel restless. You reach for your phone, check your email again, or look around for something useful to do because being still makes you uncomfortable. Somewhere along the way, being needed became so closely tied to your identity that rest now feels almost like failure.
That can happen slowly. You become the person who remembers everyone’s appointments, covers the missed shift, fixes the broken plan, or keeps the family from falling apart during hard seasons. People begin to trust you because you are dependable, and you begin to trust yourself for the same reason. There is something good in that, but there is also a danger when responsibility becomes the only way you know how to feel valuable.
Jesus never built His identity around usefulness.
He served constantly, but He did not need people to need Him in order to know who He was. Before the crowds grew large, before the miracles became known, before people followed Him from town to town, His identity was already rooted in the Father.
That matters if you have spent years measuring yourself by what you accomplish for others.
Maybe your family sees you as the strong one because you rarely complain. Maybe your friends know you as the person who always answers. Maybe your workplace has rewarded you for being the person who never says no. Eventually, those roles can feel permanent. You stop asking what you need because you are too busy living up to what everyone expects.
Then something changes.
Your energy is lower. Your schedule becomes fuller. You realize you are carrying resentment toward people you genuinely love. You start noticing that you are angry at requests that would not bother you if you had more room inside your own life.
That anger can be uncomfortable, but it may also be telling you something.
It may be telling you that you have ignored your own limits for too long.
Jesus did not ignore His limits. He slept when He was tired. He withdrew to quiet places. He stepped away from crowds. He prayed before major decisions. He did not act as though spiritual strength meant denying every human need.
You do not have to either.
Imagine a friend calling you late in the evening with another problem they expect you to solve. In the past, you might have stayed on the phone for an hour even though you were exhausted. This time, you listen for a few minutes and then say, kindly, “I care about you, but I need to rest tonight. Can we talk tomorrow?”
That may seem like a small change, but it can feel enormous when you are used to being endlessly available.
The fear that comes afterward may surprise you. You may worry that they will think you have changed, become selfish, or stopped caring.
Maybe you have changed.
Maybe you are learning that love does not have to require self-erasure.
Maybe you are discovering that your value remains intact even when you are not the person solving the problem.
God can still use you when you are resting. He can still love you when you are unavailable. You are still worthy of care when you have nothing left to give.
Sometimes the deeper work of faith is learning to believe that.
Chapter 3: Letting God Love the Person Beneath the Role
Tomorrow may bring another request before you have fully finished your first cup of coffee. Someone may need an answer, a favor, a decision, or your time. Before you respond, remember that you are more than the role you have learned to play for everyone else.
Jesus served people without allowing service to become His identity. He knew who He was before the crowd approved of Him, before anyone thanked Him, and before anyone understood Him.
You can begin learning that same kind of security.
You do not have to earn your worth by being endlessly useful. You do not have to prove your love by carrying every burden. You can still be generous, dependable, and compassionate while admitting that you are human.
God is not asking you to disappear inside everyone else’s needs.
He is asking you to walk with Him honestly.
And sometimes honesty begins with admitting that you need care too.
Your friend, Douglas Vandergraph
Explore the complete Douglas Vandergraph Master Index: https://douglasvandergraph.com/douglas-vandergraph-master-index/
Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s faith-based videos on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@douglasvandergraph
from GaoKit Notes
Thớt gỗ cần được rửa sạch và lau khô ngay sau khi dùng để tránh nứt và mốc.
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from GaoKit Notes
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from Dallineation
I got the results of the blood labs from my annual physical and I'm doing pretty good in all areas except one: my LDL (bad) cholesterol is too high.
This has been something I've struggled with for years and have managed to keep it down with diet and exercise, but it's higher now than it has been in a while. I'm fairly certain I have a genetic predisposition for it. It runs in my family and it's definitely something that can be hereditary.
Although I have tried walk at least 2 miles a day 6 days a week since April of this year, I have not been paying attention to my diet. I feel like I need to make some pretty drastic changes to reverse the trend. Both with diet and exercise. I want to avoid taking medication if at all possible.
I talked with some relatives who have been dealing with the same issue and they have shared what has worked for them with respect to diet and exercise. They report significant weight loss, more energy, and better overall health. I figure it can't hurt to try.
My doctor asked for a follow-up visit tomorrow. I'm going to talk to her about all of this and make a plan. And I'm going to start as soon as possible.
This year I have focused more on my physical, mental, and spiritual health than ever before. There's so much I need to work on.
#100DaysToOffload (No. 170) #health
from
Tales Around Blue Blossom

It was really early in the morning when Abiva found herself in the main estate's kitchens. The morning cycle had not started yet and so it was only Burdak Rikol, their Arch Maid of the Scullery Battalion and head chef for all Lord Henry Patton-Avernell's food, and a few of the early morning maids that assisted him.
At that moment, Burdak was doing his best not to grin while Abiva looked dejectedly at the smoldering black circle on the skillet that she had been using. The red head glared at it with an anger that she rarely gave anyone.
“At least, this time, it's not on fire,” Burdak said, the laugh almost breaking through. Abiva glared at him hoping it would murder the cook.
“Well,” Abiva groused. “Don't leave me in suspense. What did I do wrong?”
“The heat is still too high, and the batter was to thin. It burned before you had a chance to flip it,” He explained.
“That's what I did last time!”
Burdak did not hide the laugh this time. “No, the last time you put it on too thick, got distracted looking for the chocolate chips you should have had ready and caused the entire pan to catch on fire.”
“I forgot where I put them,” the Arch Maid of the Estate Legion side taking the skillet over to the trash can and scraping roughly with the spatula to deposit her failure on top of the other ones. She came back sullen, her green eyes filled with irritation.
Burdak took the old skillet and handed the woman another one. “Why are you trying to make this...pancakes?”
“Because Lord Henry likes them. I heard him telling the Mistress once that his mother used to make these things called chocolate chip pancakes and a database search showed they're a lot like our gorelushivmot, so I thought I could make it.”
“Can you make gorelushivmot?” Burdak inquired with a twinkle in his eyes.
Abiva avoided eye contact as she rocked a bit on her heel. “No. Not really.”
“Can you cook anything?”
“Only if you want it on fire.” said another voice from the corner. It was quiet but in the kitchens that hadn't started their morning activities, it was loud. Abiva spun on her heel, eyes blazing at the newcomer. Nish Kevet stood there with a set of folded sheets with a rare grin on her face.
“Nish!” Abiva hissed at her lover. “Be somewhere else.”
“I'm just warning the Arch Maid,” Nish continued making her way to the door. “You almost burned down our quarters a few years ago.”
“Shush!” Abiva hissed threatening to throw the salt shaker on the counter at her. Nish skipped out, and the red head turned back, her cheeks matching her hair.
“Alright,” Burdak said taking the skillet. “Let's try again. This time, we're going to try on a lower heat and with more butter. Don't rush it.”
“Yes, sir.”
“And where are the chocolate chips?”
Abiva moved the bag from the counter behind her on to the counter by the stove.
The kitchen was now busy when Abiva decided that the batch she had in front of her was the best batch she was going to make. A lot more batter died in the line of duty but this time, there were a lot less burned spots and no leaking, uncooked batter. The young woman was actually proud of her that she only set two more on fire in the process.
Burdak had been plating them with a grin. “You did very well, Arch Maid.”
The woman grinned.
“Do I smell pancakes?”
Abiva's heart jumped, and her skin went cold at the voice coming from the doorway. She turned trying not to fall over herself, saw both her Lord and her Mistress and quickly folded her hands in front of her and bowed.
“My master!” Abiva said, her voice dry and scratchy, trying her best not to shake.
Henry Patton had walked up to the counter where Burdak had just set down the three pancakes and she secretly wanted to hug that chef. He had put the best ones she had made and hid the other ones behind him. The Terran lord looked at them with eyes wide.
“I didn't know you could make these!”
“Abiva and I thought it would be an excellent addition to your breakfast, my lord,” Burdak said pushing the plate forward and Abiva wasn't upset he took some of the credit. He was excellent at reading the room and the icy stare she was getting from Mistress made her even more nervous. The maid's left wrist gave her a phantom ache from where Maevin had dislocated the last time she got out of line.
“Can I try some?”
“Please!” Abiva said, the excitement a bit too overboard which caused Maevin's eyes to narrow.
“This is a batch that Maid Abiva made as we experimented with creating them,” Burdak said offering a fork.
Henry pulled up the stool closer, hopped on it and dug in. After two bites, he broke into a big grin. “These are delicious! I can't believe you were able to get the ingredients for it. These aren't anything like the breads you make here. It tastes like home.”
“We imported bleached wheat flour and chocolate chips from Terra to make sure they were authentic,” Burdak continued as Abiva braced herself on the counter trying not to hyperventilate from happiness that he liked her cooking. She was going to rub that compliment into Nish's face tonight.
Henry reached over and patted Abiva's hand with a smile. “You did great. Thank you! Tasted just like home.”
Yeah. She was going to faint from happiness.
Whatever their mission was continued as Henry scooped up the plate to take with him and Abiva tried her best not to get burned from the glare she was getting from Maevin. Goddess, I'm gonna get the awful jobs for the next week.
“I'll cover for you,” Burdak grinned starting to clean up.
“What?”
“I heard through the grapevine about the incident with Lord Henry and Maevin's reaction. I'll smooth it over for her so that you don't take the brunt.”
Abiva couldn't help herself but threw her arms around the man and gave him a crushing hug. “I don't deserve a friend like you.”
“Shoo,” Burdak laughed pushing her back. “You got work to do, and I have to get the kitchens start.”
Abiva did her best not to skip on her way to her first assignment.
from AnOublietteofThought
With backward glance craze pith of bloom. Construct abrupt thee dweller's tomb. Sway knots aggression shroud offshore. Foal bleak this stasis erred as moor.
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