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from untidy creatures.
Today is one of those days that feels worse because it followed a short series of quite good days. Pain, fatigue, and wiping tears and god knows what running out of my nose. It's frustrating. I'm frustrated. I don't have the energy to scream into the pillow but it's the thought that counts. There's a lot of thoughts.
Inside me are two wolves. One wolf can't breathe properly and will obtain vastly improved lung capacity living away from a cockatoo. The other wolf has difficulty regulating aldosterone and has skewed sodium, potassium, and fluid at times. Both wolves are fatigued. Both wolves are also part of a pack that includes some mental health wolves and we're not even going to touch on those wild dogs today. But they’re vying for attention too, in the neurodiverse/mental illness shadowed part of the woods.
I don't know what I'm capable of any more. I don't know when I'll have a good day, or a bad day. I don't even know what a normal day looks like.
Just. Ah. AHHH. So tired. And there are no words for the thoughts. Just howling canines fighting.
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Section 5.2 of Nanit's terms of service is not written about babies. It is written about content, in the flat contractual register every consumer technology company has used since roughly 2007. By submitting User Content through the Services, it says, you grant the company “a worldwide, non-exclusive, perpetual, royalty-free, sub-licensable and transferable license to use, process, store, edit, modify, truncate, aggregate, reproduce, transfer, modify, distribute, prepare derivative works of, display, perform, and otherwise fully exploit the User Content in connection with the Site, the App and the Services and our (and our successors' and assigns') businesses.”
User Content, the same document explains, means all content added, created, uploaded, submitted, distributed or posted to the services by users. In the case of a Nanit Pro, the content in question is overhead infrared video of a sleeping infant, captured from a camera mounted above the cot, running most nights for the first several years of that infant's life. The person who grants the licence is the parent. The person the licence is about cannot yet hold up their own head.
On 2 August 2026, Sapna Maheshwari of The New York Times published a profile of Nanit, the New York company whose crib-mounted camera logs the moment a baby's eyes open and close and issues a score for the night on a scale up to 100. The company told the Times it has around one million daily active users and annual revenue above 100 million dollars. The reporting also surfaced a detail no amount of policy analysis could improve upon: the branding firm that built Nanit's identity described its own brief as transcending the negative connotations of surveillance.
That is a candid sentence, and it points at the wrong problem. The interesting thing about the AI nursery camera is not that it is surveillance. Parents have always watched their children, and a camera that lets you check on a sleeping baby without opening a creaking door is a small, genuine good. The interesting thing is what the category has become. Nanit's chief executive describes the value proposition with unusual clarity, and what she describes is not a better way for a parent to watch. It is a system that watches instead.
That substitution is the story. A parent's attention is forgetful, reciprocal and impossible to transfer. A system's attention is total, permanent, non-reciprocal and, per section 5.2, transferable to successors and assigns. Swapping one for the other is not an upgrade to an existing practice. It is the creation of a permanent evidentiary record about a person who will not be able to read it, contest it, or ask who else holds a copy, for approximately eighteen years.
Start with the artefact, because the artefact is stranger than the debate around it.
Nanit describes Sleep Score as the first AI-driven, science-backed sleep score designed specifically for babies, delivered each morning as a single number up to 100 alongside a comparison to the baby's own typical range. It is assembled from four components. Sleep duration is total actual sleep across the night. Sleep timing measures how well bedtime and waking align with age-appropriate biological rhythms. Sleep continuity covers night wakings and time spent awake between sleep periods. The fourth component is parent visits, defined as the frequency with which a parent has to come in and settle the baby.
Read that fourth component again. A metric marketed as a measure of infant sleep quality is partly a count of how often the adult entered the room. Whatever the design intention, the artefact grades the caregiver, and grades them downward for the thing caregiving consists of. Nanit's explainer page cites no peer-reviewed validation of Sleep Score itself, pointing instead to its in-house Nanit Lab and a scientific advisory board.
The breathing feature is more elegant and more revealing. Rather than strap a sensor to the infant, Nanit sells cotton garments, a swaddle and a band, printed with a bespoke pattern. The camera watches the pattern rise and fall, infers breathing motion from the deformation, and alerts the parent if the motion stops. There are no electronics in the garment at all. The company has solved the wearable comfort problem by moving the entire sensing apparatus into computer vision. The nursery is not instrumented. It is watched by a model that has learnt what a breathing infant looks like.
The commercial architecture sits on top. Live video, sound and motion alerts and two-way audio are free. The analysis is not. Nanit's Insights tiers gate the data behind subscription: 120 dollars a year buys thirty days of sleep analysis, two days of continuous video history, 200 saved memories and up to ten caregiver profiles, while 300 dollars a year unlocks unlimited sleep analysis, seven days of continuous video history, growth tracking, and an unlimited number of people on the parenting team.
Unlimited. Not a number at all, because the vendor saw no reason to set one. That tells you what the product understands itself to be. Not a monitor. A distribution platform for footage of a child, with tiered access, retention windows set by the vendor, and an audience list with no upper bound.
The other pole of this market took the opposite technical route and, in doing so, mapped the regulatory terrain for everybody else.
Owlet's Smart Sock wrapped a pulse oximeter around an infant's foot and reported heart rate and blood oxygen saturation to a phone. On 5 October 2021 the US Food and Drug Administration issued the company a warning letter, catalogued as MARCS-CMS 616354. The agency's reasoning was narrow and precise. Products measuring blood oxygen saturation and pulse rate become devices when they are intended to identify desaturation and bradycardia and to alarm when measurements fall outside preset values. Owlet had marketed the Smart Sock without clearance, in violation of the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act. The company pulled the product.
What followed is the most instructive sequence in this industry. Owlet did not abandon the category. It went through the front door. BabySat, a prescription pulse oximetry sock, was cleared in June 2023. On 9 November 2023 the company announced De Novo clearance for Dream Sock, which it described as the first and only over-the-counter medical-grade pulse oximeter cleared for infants, indicated for healthy babies aged one to eighteen months weighing between six and thirty pounds. Both launched in 2024, and the FDA closed out the warning letter that June.
So Owlet is now, in the relevant respects, a regulated medical device company, with indications, contraindications, a cleared intended use and clinical testing behind it. And here is the asymmetry that should trouble anyone thinking about this market: Nanit, which points a camera at a child every night for years, extracts breathing motion, motor patterns, position and activity from the video, scores the result, and now proposes to project developmental trajectories from it, sits entirely outside that regime. Not because it collects less. Because it claims less.
The line between a consumer gadget and a medical device here is drawn by marketing copy. Say your sock detects desaturation and you enter a world of clinical validation and post-market surveillance. Say your camera provides insights and you do not. The volume, intimacy and longitudinal depth of the data are irrelevant to which side of the line you land on.
Long before the FDA acted, paediatricians were saying the quiet part in journals.
On 24 January 2017, Christopher Bonafide, Elizabeth Foglia and David Jamison published a Viewpoint in JAMA titled “The Emerging Market of Smartphone-Integrated Infant Physiologic Monitors”. They examined five models introduced over the preceding two years, priced between 150 and 300 dollars, and noted that because the manufacturers did not directly claim to treat, diagnose or prevent disease, the monitors were not regulated as medical devices. Their conclusion was blunt. There was no publicly available evidence supporting the safety, accuracy or effectiveness of these products, and no medical indications for their use in healthy infants.
The following year, Bonafide's group tested two of them. Published in JAMA in August 2018, the study put the Owlet Smart Sock 2 and the Baby Vida on thirty hospitalised infants at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, against a hospital-grade reference monitor. The Smart Sock 2 showed 88.8 per cent sensitivity and 85.7 per cent specificity for hypoxaemia, and zero per cent sensitivity for bradycardia. The Baby Vida managed zero per cent sensitivity for hypoxaemia. Bonafide's summary to the press was the correct one. If something is going wrong with a sick infant, you would want to know that one hundred per cent of the time.
Then, in 2022, the American Academy of Pediatrics updated its safe sleep policy statement, produced by its Task Force on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. The recommendation is one line and has not changed since. Do not use home cardiorespiratory monitors as a strategy to reduce the risk of SIDS. No monitor holds FDA authorisation to prevent sudden infant death, and there is no evidence that commercial infant vital sign devices reduce these deaths. The concern is not merely that they fail to help. It is that false alarms drive unnecessary anguish and clinical workup, while normal-looking readings offer a false reassurance that can substitute for the safe sleep practices that do work.
None of this makes Nanit's Sleep Score dangerous in the way an unreliable oximeter is dangerous. It is an argument about epistemic standing. The paediatric literature has repeatedly declined to certify that consumer infant monitoring measures anything clinically meaningful in healthy babies. Nanit is building a prediction engine on that substrate.
On 16 December 2025, Nanit announced a 50 million dollar growth round led by Springcoast Partners, taking total funding to 125.1 million dollars according to Forbes. The money is earmarked for what the company calls a Parenting Intelligence System, rolling out through 2026.
Anushka Salinas, who became Nanit's chief executive in March 2024 after serving as president and chief operating officer of Rent the Runway, framed the opportunity in the announcement. “Adults now track sleep, stress, and health patterns to spot trends and intervene early,” she said, “yet babies, the group that benefits most from early insight, have no comparable system for monitoring or predictive guidance.”
And then, to Forbes, the sentence that ought to be the epigraph for this entire market. “What you don't know is often what creates anxiety. When the system is doing the monitoring and interpretation, parents don't feel like they have to constantly watch and worry themselves.”
That is not a description of a tool that extends parental attention. It is a description of one that absorbs it. And it is offered, quite reasonably, as a benefit, because parental sleep deprivation is real and the anxiety of a first year is genuinely corrosive. But look at what has been swapped.
A parent watching a baby is doing something with four properties. It is forgetful: almost none of it is retained, and what is retained is retained as memory, which decays and reshapes and is legally inert. It is reciprocal: the baby watches back, and being watched by a face that responds is how infants learn that their signals produce effects in the world. It is bounded: the watching stops when the parent leaves the room and cannot be resumed retrospectively. And it is non-transferable: you cannot assign your recollection of your child's first months to a creditor.
A system watching a baby inverts all four. It retains by default and forgets only by policy. It is non-reciprocal, because a computer vision model registers the infant without responding to them. It is total across whatever window the subscription tier defines. And it is transferable, in explicit contractual terms, to successors and assigns.
Helen Nissenbaum's framework of contextual integrity, set out in the Washington Law Review in 2004, is the cleanest way to name what has changed. Information flows, on her account, are governed by norms specified across five parameters: the data subject, the sender, the recipient, the information type and the transmission principle. Nobody has ever objected to a parent knowing how their baby slept. What has changed is the transmission principle and the recipient. Deborah Lupton and Ben Williamson made the parallel point in New Media and Society in 2017, describing a datafied child subject to dataveillance from in utero onward. The nursery has not become less private in the sense of who can see in. It has become a site of extraction, and the norm violated is not visibility but permanence.
Here is where the regulatory picture gets genuinely awkward, because the laws are not absent. They are numerous, recently strengthened, and pointed at a moment that does not carry the weight.
The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act is the obvious candidate, and the Federal Trade Commission gave it real teeth in January 2025. The amended Rule took effect on 23 June 2025, with a compliance deadline of 22 April 2026 that passed a few months ago. It expands personal information to include biometric identifiers, among them voiceprints, gait patterns, facial templates and faceprints. It mandates a written retention policy stating why data is collected and when it will be deleted, and prohibits indefinite retention outright. Most pointedly, the Commission's own commentary states that disclosing a child's personal information to third parties to train or otherwise develop artificial intelligence technologies is not integral to the service and requires separate consent.
Excellent rules. Now ask whether they bite. COPPA governs operators of services directed to children under thirteen, or operators with actual knowledge that they are collecting personal information from a child. A crib camera is marketed to adults, purchased by adults, configured by adults and operated by adults. Nanit's own privacy policy states that its services are not directed to, nor intended to be operated by, children under sixteen. That statement is true, and it is precisely the problem. The infant is not a user. The infant is the subject matter. COPPA's architecture was built for a child typing into a website, not for a child being filmed by one.
The European instruments have the same shape. Article 8 of the GDPR conditions lawfulness on parental authorisation where a child is below sixteen, with member states permitted to set a floor as low as thirteen, but it governs information society services offered directly to a child. Recital 65 gives the right to erasure special force where consent was given by a data subject when they were a child, and states that the right survives into adulthood. That is exactly the right instinct, and it presumes a child who once gave consent. An infant never did.
The UK's Age Appropriate Design Code comes closest. Its fifteen standards, in force since September 2021, apply to services likely to be accessed by children, explicitly including connected toys and devices, require that the best interests of the child outrank commercial interest, and require profiling to be off by default. But it too is oriented around a child as user, and its enforcement centre of gravity has been social platforms and games rather than nursery hardware. The EU AI Act's prohibitions, applicable since 2 February 2025, ban emotion recognition in the workplace and in education, and biometric categorisation used to infer protected characteristics. Neither reaches a domestic device inferring developmental state from video in a family home.
American state biometric law is the sharpest tool in the box and the least aimed. Illinois' Biometric Information Privacy Act carries statutory damages of 1,000 dollars for negligent and 5,000 for reckless or intentional violations, though an amendment signed in August 2024 blunted even that, limiting a claimant to a single recovery per person however many times the identifier was scanned or disclosed. Texas' Capture or Use of Biometric Identifier statute produced a 1.4 billion dollar settlement with Meta in 2024, the largest ever obtained by a single state. Washington's My Health My Data Act, in force since March 2024, goes furthest, defining consumer health data to include information derived or extrapolated from non-health information through machine learning and algorithms, and providing a private right of action.
That last definition is the closest anything in American law comes to describing what a nursery camera does. But every one of these statutes turns on consent at the point of collection, and consent at the point of collection is the one thing this situation cannot supply.
Consent works as a legitimating device under one condition: the party who consents is the party who bears the consequences. Every argument for informed consent, in medicine, in research ethics, in data protection, rests on that alignment. Remove it and consent stops being a transfer of authority and becomes a transfer of liability.
In the nursery, the alignment breaks in three directions at once, and the breaks compound.
The consenting party is not the data subject. A parent clicking through terms of service exercises a legitimate authority over their child's welfare, and nobody sensible wants to strip parents of it. But the interest traded away is not the parent's. Stacey Steinberg, writing in the Emory Law Journal in 2017, described parents as simultaneously the gatekeepers of their children's personal information and the narrators of their children's stories. Sharenting, though, is disclosure by a parent who chose what to say. This is extraction by a firm that chose what to record, at a resolution and duration no parent can evaluate.
The data subject can never ratify. There is no moment at which the infant becomes able to say yes or no to a decision already taken. A teenager can delete an Instagram account. They cannot un-generate four years of nightly behavioural telemetry, because they were never told it exists, do not know the corporate entity that holds it, and cannot identify what has been derived from it.
And the timing is structurally impossible. The gap between collection and the subject's legal capacity to object is roughly eighteen years. Retention windows are measured in months to years. Corporate acquisitions happen on a timescale of three to seven years. Model training happens once and is, for practical purposes, irreversible. Insolvency can happen at any point. By the time a person acquires standing to object to what was recorded in their cot, every consequential decision about that record has already been made, several times, by entities that may no longer exist.
This is not a complaint about weak consent. Strengthening consent does not help. A perfectly informed, freely given, granular, revocable parental consent still fails, because the failure is not in the quality of the permission. It is in the identity of the person granting it. The consent architecture is structurally incapable of representing the only person whose data it is.
If you want to know how this ends, the record is not speculative. Every failure mode has already occurred in an adjacent product category, usually more than once.
Start with security. On 4 September 2013 the FTC announced a settlement with TRENDnet over its internet-connected cameras, its first action against a connected consumer product of this kind. According to the Commission's complaint, a hacker exploited a flaw in the company's software and posted links to roughly 700 customers' live feeds, which included babies asleep in cots and young children playing. The company had transmitted and stored login credentials in clear readable text. TRENDnet accepted twenty years of third-party security audits.
Ten and a half years later, in February 2024, roughly 13,000 Wyze users received thumbnail images from cameras that were not theirs as devices reconnected after a cloud outage, and 1,504 of them tapped through. A third-party caching library had mixed up device and user identifiers under load. Nothing malicious happened. The system simply handed strangers pictures of other people's homes.
Now retention. In May 2023 the FTC and the Department of Justice charged Amazon with violating COPPA by keeping children's Alexa voice recordings indefinitely and failing to honour parental deletion requests, resulting in a 25 million dollar settlement. The detail that matters is why the recordings were valuable. Children's speech patterns differ from adults', so retained child voice data was a uniquely useful corpus for teaching Alexa to understand children, and transcripts trained subsequent versions without that practice being disclosed in the privacy policy. Deletion was promised, the data was retained, and the retained data made the product better.
Then ownership. In March 2025, 23andMe filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Regeneron agreed to acquire it for 256 million dollars, pledging to honour existing privacy commitments. More than two dozen state attorneys general sued to stop the sale, arguing that genetic information is categorically unlike the assets that ordinarily change hands in an insolvency. The auction was reopened, Regeneron declined to raise its bid, and on 30 June 2025 a judge approved the 305 million dollar sale of the company and its genetic database to TTAM Research Institute, a nonprofit led by co-founder Anne Wojcicki. Customers who consented to one entity holding their genome ended up with a different entity holding it, through a process in which they were not parties.
Finally, the counterexample. In 2017 Mattel announced Aristotle, an always-on voice and camera hub designed to sit in a child's bedroom from birth through adolescence. Senator Edward Markey and Representative Joe Barton demanded answers on children's privacy, campaigners delivered more than 20,000 petition signatures on 2 October 2017, and two days later Mattel cancelled the product before it shipped, and therefore before it had accumulated anything.
Read those five together and the pattern is unmistakable. The promises are made by an entity that will not necessarily be the entity holding the data. The retention is not an accident but a business rationale. And the only intervention that ever fully worked was the one that happened before collection began.
The Parenting Intelligence System announcement lists six things the platform will measure. Personalised sleep guidance. Key health metrics. Movement signatures and breathing patterns. Motor skill milestones. Speech and language patterns. And then the sixth, which is a different kind of thing entirely: trends that may predict metabolic, emotional, or cognitive challenges.
Nanit currently covers birth to age five, according to Forbes, and intends to extend its models to ages nought to ten. Its own announcement gestures at a horizon of birth to a hundred years old.
There is a real category difference between a record and a prior, and the marketing language elides it. A record says what a baby did on a given night. A prior says what kind of person a baby is likely to become. The first is a description that can be checked against the world. The second is a claim about the future that is unfalsifiable at the moment of generation, because the future has not happened, and self-confirming afterwards, because the parents who receive it will act on it.
That is the mechanism that should worry people, and it is not a data breach. It is a healthy child assigned a low score on emotional-regulation trend lines at fourteen months, whose parents, being good parents, respond by treating them as a child who needs watching. It is a nursery-derived cognitive flag that follows a family into a paediatrician's appointment, or a nursery application, or, eventually, an insurance underwriting model that has learnt to want it. The prediction does not have to be accurate to be consequential. It has to be delivered, and it has to be believed.
And recall the substrate. We are proposing to build developmental forecasts from a score that counts parental visits as a negative, on a class of measurement the relevant clinical bodies have declined to endorse, at a scale of a million children a night.
Three arXiv papers were put forward as evidence for this argument, and honest handling of them matters more than rhetorical convenience.
The first, arXiv 2602.17418, submitted on 19 February 2026 by Diana Addae, Diana Rogachova, Nafiseh Kahani, Masoud Barati, Michael Christensen and Chen Zhou, is titled “A Privacy by Design Framework for Large Language Model-Based Applications for Children”. It is constructive rather than critical, proposing controls across data collection, model training, operational monitoring and validation, grounded in the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child and the UK Age Appropriate Design Code. It is not a finding that large-scale AI surveillance undermines children's privacy. It is a proposal for how to avoid doing so, and its relevance here is that its guidelines exist and consumer nursery hardware is built to none of them.
The second, arXiv 2606.17957, submitted on 16 June 2026 by Kopo Ramokapane, Rui Huan, Zaina Dkaidek and Awais Rashid, is titled “Children Are Not the Enemy: Child-Fit Security as an Alternative to Bans and Surveillance”. It argues that containment approaches, meaning access restrictions, parental monitoring and screen-time limits, are insufficient, and proposes treating children as legitimate users whose wellbeing, development, privacy, safety, agency and rights are core security requirements, shifting the object of protection from the system to the child-system relationship. That is the strongest academic articulation of the principle this market has inverted.
The third, arXiv 2607.01506, does not say what it has been cited as saying, and pretending otherwise would be indefensible in an article about evidentiary standards. Submitted on 1 July 2026 by Tomohiro Nagashima, Lisa Siegrist, Niklas Scholz, Shintaro Sato, Martina Vincoli and Man Su, it is titled “Mind the Trust Gap: Identifying (Mis)alignments in Teacher-Student Views Toward Control and Agency in K-12 Classroom AI”. It reports a speed-dating study with sixteen students and fifteen teachers in Germany and finds misalignments in trust and in views on the social and emotional dimensions of learning with AI. It does not document children reporting fear of constant AI monitoring. The honest version of the claim it was offered to support is narrower and still useful: where children have been asked, their views on AI oversight diverge measurably from those of the adults deciding on their behalf. Infants cannot be asked at all.
The instinct at this point is to demand better disclosure, and it is the wrong instinct. Disclosure assumes a reader who can act on it. There is no such reader here. The right move is to stop treating infant behavioural data as ordinary consumer data governed by contract, and start treating it as property held for a beneficiary who has not yet arrived. Four things follow.
Give the infant statutory data subject status with a fiduciary rather than a consenting parent. A parent authorising collection about a person who cannot object should be held to something closer to a trustee's duty than a customer's tick-box: obliged to act in the child's interests rather than their own convenience, and unable to authorise uses a reasonable adult would later refuse. The UK Children's Code gestures at this when it puts the child's best interests ahead of commercial interest. It needs to bind the transaction, not just the interface design.
Impose hard expiry on the record rather than on the retention policy. Raw nursery video should default to deletion within days, not whatever the subscription tier allows. Derived metrics should expire on a statutory schedule tied to the child's age, not to the company's business need, because the amended COPPA Rule's requirement of a stated business need is satisfied by any business that has one.
Bar transfer in insolvency. The 23andMe case is not an analogy, it is a preview. A firm holding nightly video and behavioural scores on a million children is an acquisition target, and a bankrupt one is an estate. Infant biometric and behavioural data needs to be statutorily excluded from the pool of saleable assets, so that who ends up holding it is never decided by a creditors' committee. Consent given to one company is not consent given to its successors and assigns, whatever section 5.2 says.
And create a right of arrival. At the age of majority, every person should receive a statutory notice naming every entity holding data generated about them before they could consent, describing what was derived from it, and offering erasure through a single form. Recital 65 already contains the moral intuition. It simply has no delivery mechanism, because it assumes the person knows what happened to them.
The counterargument is that this is a lot of machinery for a camera that helps exhausted parents through the first year, and that parents like these products. Both points are true, and nobody should want to take the camera away. But the case for regulation does not rest on the device being harmful. It rests on the fact that the transaction has no representative for the one party whose entire early life is its subject matter, and that every existing legal instrument tries to fix that by asking somebody else to sign.
The generation now being scored will not remember being watched, which is precisely the point. They will encounter their own infancy the way the rest of us encounter a credit file: as a document assembled by strangers, from a period they cannot recall, according to criteria they never saw, held by a company they never chose. Their parents will have consented on their behalf, in good faith, to terms promising nothing more alarming than insights, and reserving, in the ordinary language of commerce, a perpetual and transferable licence to fully exploit the record. The forgetting that used to be the default condition of infancy was not a technical limitation. It was the thing that made being watched by someone who loved you different from being watched by anything else.

Tim Green UK-based Systems Theorist & Independent Technology Writer
Tim explores the intersections of artificial intelligence, decentralised cognition, and posthuman ethics. His work, published at smarterarticles.co.uk, challenges dominant narratives of technological progress while proposing interdisciplinary frameworks for collective intelligence and digital stewardship.
His writing has been featured on Ground News and shared by independent researchers across both academic and technological communities.
ORCID: 0009-0002-0156-9795 Email: tim@smarterarticles.co.uk
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Aug 10, 2026 – I had an instinct, a will, a preternatural force in me, thinking/needing a cold Winter to be inbound. Cold skies, thin moons, cloud on brighter moon nights. Cloud cover on many days, too. Thick snow, thick ice, starting early, ending late
from The Lantern Room
Everyone wants to be good fruit, but not everyone can do the work. Or
'Date-nite' for Jeremiah! Yes, I conflate figs and dates. They are both excellent desserts in the desert. ;–)
Then Jehovah showed me two baskets of figs set before the temple of Jehovah, after King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon had carried into exile Jeconiah son of Jehoiakim, the king of Judah, along with the princes of Judah, the craftsmen, and the metalworkers; he took them from Jerusalem to Babylon.
One basket had very good figs, like early figs, but the other basket had very bad figs, so bad that they could not be eaten.
Jehovah then asked me:
“What do you see, Jeremiah?”
So I said:
“Figs; the good figs are very good, but the bad ones are very bad, so bad that they cannot be eaten.”
Then the word of Jehovah came to me, saying:
“This is what Jehovah the God of Israel says, ‘Like these good figs, so I will regard in a good way the exiles of Judah, whom I have sent away from this place to the land of the Chaldeans.
“‘I will keep my eye on them for their good, and I will cause them to return to this land. I will build them up, and I will not tear down; I will plant them, and I will not uproot.
“‘And I will give them a heart to know me, that I am Jehovah. They will become my people, and I will become their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.
“‘But concerning the bad figs that are so bad they cannot be eaten, this is what Jehovah says:
“‘“So I will regard King Zedekiah of Judah, his princes, the remnant of Jerusalem who are left in this land, and those who are dwelling in the land of Egypt.
“‘“I will make them an object of horror and calamity to all the kingdoms of the earth, a reproach, a proverbial saying, a cause for ridicule, and a curse in all the places to which I disperse them.
“‘“And I will send against them the sword, the famine, and the pestilence, until they have perished from the land that I gave to them and to their forefathers.”’”
The word that came to Jeremiah concerning all the people of Judah in the fourth year of Jehoiakim son of Josiah, the king of Judah, which was the first year of King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon.
This is what Jeremiah the prophet spoke concerning all the people of Judah and all the inhabitants of Jerusalem:
“From the 13th year of Josiah son of Amon, the king of Judah, to this day, these 23 years, the word of Jehovah has come to me, and I kept speaking to you again and again, but you would not listen.
“And Jehovah sent all his servants the prophets to you, sending them again and again, but you would not listen or incline your ear to hear.
“They would say, ‘Turn back, please, each of you from your evil ways and your evil deeds; then you will continue dwelling for a long time to come in the land that Jehovah long ago gave to you and to your forefathers.
“‘Do not follow other gods and serve them and bow down to them, offending me with the work of your hands; otherwise I will bring calamity on you.’
“‘But you would not listen to me,’ declares Jehovah. ‘Instead you offended me with the work of your hands, to your own calamity.’
“Therefore this is what Jehovah of armies says:
“‘Because you would not obey my words, “I am sending for all the families of the north,” declares Jehovah, “sending for King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, my servant, and I will bring them against this land and against its inhabitants and against all these surrounding nations.
“‘“I will devote them to destruction and make them an object of horror and something to whistle at and a perpetual ruin.
“‘“I will put an end to the sound of exultation and the sound of rejoicing from them, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the sound of the hand mill and the light of the lamp.
“‘“And all this land will be reduced to ruins and will become an object of horror, and these nations will have to serve the king of Babylon for 70 years.”’
“‘But when 70 years have been fulfilled, I will call to account the king of Babylon and that nation for their error,’ declares Jehovah, ‘and I will make the land of the Chaldeans a desolate wasteland for all time.
“‘I will bring on that land all my words that I have spoken against it, all that is written in this book that Jeremiah has prophesied against all the nations.
“‘For many nations and great kings will make slaves of them, and I will repay them according to their deeds and the work of their own hands.’”
For this is what Jehovah the God of Israel said to me:
“Take this cup of the wine of wrath out of my hand, and make all the nations to whom I send you drink it.
“And they will drink and stagger and act like madmen because of the sword that I am sending among them.”
So I took the cup out of the hand of Jehovah and made all the nations to whom Jehovah sent me drink:
Starting with Jerusalem and the cities of Judah, her kings and her princes, to make them a ruin, an object of horror, something to whistle at and a curse, as it is today;
then Pharaoh king of Egypt and his servants, his princes, and all his people, and all their mixed populations;
all the kings of the land of Uz;
all the kings of the land of the Philistines — Ashkelon, Gaza, Ekron, and those remaining of Ashdod;
Edom, Moab, and the Ammonites;
all the kings of Tyre, all the kings of Sidon, and the kings of the island in the sea;
Dedan, Tema, Buz, and all those with hair clipped at the temples;
all the kings of the Arabians and all the kings of the mixed populations who reside in the wilderness;
all the kings of Zimri, all the kings of Elam, and all the kings of the Medes;
and all the kings of the north near and far, one after the other, and all the other kingdoms of the earth that are on the surface of the ground;
and the king of Sheshach will drink after them.
“And you must say to them, ‘This is what Jehovah of armies, the God of Israel, says:
“‘“Drink and get drunk and vomit and fall so that you cannot get up because of the sword that I am sending among you.”’
“And if they refuse to take the cup out of your hand to drink, say to them:
“‘This is what Jehovah of armies says: “You must drink it!
“‘“For look! If I am bringing calamity first on the city that bears my name, should you go unpunished?”’
“‘You will not go unpunished, for I am calling for a sword against all the inhabitants of the earth,’ declares Jehovah of armies.”
And you are to prophesy all these words to them and say to them:
From on high Jehovah will roar,
And from his holy dwelling he will make his voice heard.He will roar loudly against his abiding place.
Shouting like those treading the winepress,
He will sing triumphantly against all the inhabitants of the earth.A noise will resound to the ends of the earth,
For Jehovah has a controversy with the nations.He will personally pass judgment on all humans,
And he will put the wicked to the sword,
declares Jehovah.
This is what Jehovah of armies says:
Look! A calamity is spreading from nation to nation,
And a great tempest will be unleashed
From the remotest parts of the earth.And those slain by Jehovah in that day
Will be from one end of the earth clear to the other end of the earth.They will not be mourned,
Nor will they be gathered up or buried.They will become like manure
On the surface of the ground.Wail, you shepherds, and cry out!
Wallow about, you majestic ones of the flock,
Because the time of your slaughter
And your dispersion has come,And you will fall like a precious vessel!
The shepherds have no place to flee,
And there is no escape
For the majestic ones of the flock.Listen! The outcry of the shepherds
And the wailing of the majestic ones of the flock,For Jehovah is devastating their pasture.
And the peaceful dwelling places have been made lifeless
Because of the burning anger of Jehovah.He has left his lair just like a young lion,
For their land has become an object of horrorBecause of the cruel sword
And because of his burning anger.
#biblereading #jeremiah
from
Roscoe's Story
In Summary: * Listening now to the Boston Red Sox pregame show ahead of their game vs the Toronto Blue Jays. Hopefully, I'll be able to hear the full game before sleep sends me to bed.
The regular Monday chore, my weekly laundry, is all done. Everything washed, dried, folded, and put away. So I finish the day with that measure of satisfaction, and the knowledge that tomorrow morning will find me caught up and ready for the new day.
Prayers, etc.: * I have a daily prayer regimen I try to follow throughout the day from early morning, as soon as I roll out of bed, until head hits pillow at night.
Health Metrics: * bw= 224.76 lbs. * bp= 143/84 (69)
Exercise: * morning stretches, balance exercises, kegel pelvic floor exercises, half squats, calf raises, wall push-ups, BP breathing exercises, pilates
Diet: * 04:05 – 2 HEB bakery cookies * 04:45 – 1 banana, nacho chips w. cheese & meat sauce * 10:30 – 1 peanut butter sandwich * 14:40 – 1 barbacoa taco
Activities, Chores, etc.: * 02:30 – listen to local news talk radio * 03:15 – bank accounts activity monitored. * 03:35 – read, write, pray, follow news reports from various sources, surf the socials, nap * 10:20 – start my weekly laundry * 13:00 – listening to relaxing music while folding laundry * 15:00 – listening to The Jack Show * 16:30 – listening to WEEI 93.7, Boston Sports Radio, ahead of tonight's MLB Game between the Boston Red Sox and the Toronto Blue Jays
Chess: * 12:45 – moved in all pending CC games
from Alexander-kopylkov
The first time I heard the word “unicorn” used to describe a startup, I laughed. It sounded like something a five-year-old would name a stuffed animal. That was a long time ago now. The word stuck, and somewhere along the way I stopped laughing and started using it myself, in meetings, without noticing.
My name is Alexander Kopylkov, and I have spent more than twenty years investing in and building companies, first in real estate and later across AI, deeptech, and infrastructure. I have watched this one word do more to shape how people think about a startup's worth than almost any actual financial metric.

A word invented to describe an exception now describes a category.
A venture capitalist coined “unicorn” in 2013 to flag something specific: a US startup worth a billion dollars or more. At the time, only 39 companies on earth qualified. It was meant as a rarity marker, the startup equivalent of a blue moon. Today there are well over a thousand of them by most counts, and some trackers that go back further put the number closer to two thousand once you include the ones that no longer qualify. A word built to mean “this almost never happens” now applies to something that happens every few days.
I don't think anyone planned for that. By most accounts, the term was always meant to be a snapshot, not a verdict. But snapshots have a way of getting treated as permanent once enough people repeat them. Founders started introducing themselves with the word. Journalists started using it as a headline shortcut. I started hearing it in pitches before I heard the actual revenue number.
The billion-dollar price tag stopped meaning what people think it means.
Here is the part that took me a while to internalize: a unicorn valuation was never a statement about a company's health. It was a statement about what one investor was willing to pay for one slice of it, on one day. That's a meaningfully smaller claim than “this company is worth a billion dollars,” but the smaller claim doesn't make for as good a headline.
The last two years have made that gap obvious. Trackers that follow the broader unicorn population have found that hundreds of companies have raised their most recent round at or below their prior peak valuation, and a meaningful chunk of those are no longer worth a billion dollars on paper at all. Europe has felt this especially hard, with multiple market analyses pointing to tens of billions in paper value now under pressure across its unicorn class. None of those companies did anything differently the day their valuation dropped. The number just stopped being defended by someone willing to pay it.
I have started treating the word as a starting question, not a finish line.
The thing that changed for me is what I do the moment I hear the word now. It used to end the conversation, in a good way. Hearing “they're a unicorn” meant someone else had already done the digging. Now it's where I start asking questions: who set that price, how long ago, on what terms, and would they set it again today.
That shift matters more than it used to, because the timeline to earn the label has collapsed. It used to take founders the better part of a decade to reach a billion-dollar valuation. Some AI-native companies now clear that bar in their very first funding round, before they've shipped much of anything. I don't say that as a criticism of those founders. I say it because a label that used to take the better part of ten years and can now happen before a product ships has, almost by definition, stopped measuring the same thing.
The word will keep getting used. What it's supposed to prove needs to be checked separately.
Investors have started using another word for what happens next: “unicorpse,” a company that quietly loses the valuation it once had. I don't love the term, but I understand why people reach for it. It captures something the original word never could: a valuation is a moment, and moments pass.
I still don't mind the word “unicorn.” It's a useful piece of shorthand, and shorthand earns its keep. What I've stopped doing is treating it as evidence. A billion-dollar price tag tells you what someone paid. It has never told you, and was never built to tell you, what the company is actually worth to hold for the next ten years. That distinction was true in 2013 with 39 companies, and it's just as true now with a thousand more of them.
from
Noisy Deadlines
Post 04 of #Blaugust #weeknotes
I must admit that I hardly think of the end times. Surely I lament in the evils that have become so commonplace that we no longer are surprised by them, much less shocked. But I am not looking to the affairs of the Middle East or anywhere else to inform me of that which even Jesus insists He knows not the day nor the hour. St. Paul reminds us where our focus should be and would urge us to consider with Jesus where our treasure is, our hearts ought to be also. So in giving us encouragement and even hope, He points us to those things that belong to the Lord and bids us to keep our attention on them:
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. (Phil 4:8)
There is a great spiritual battle being waged among us and within us. It is not between the forces of evil under the reins of the devil against the forces of good under the reins of Jesus — of which we might be tempted to see ourselves as everything from spectators to warriors. That battle has been done. It is the once for all of Calvary and the Empty Tomb. Indeed, the battle we find ourselves in is to decide the focus of our hearts. It is the battle of the true, the noble, the just, the pure, the lovely, the good report, the virtues, and the praiseworthy, all the things which have God's approval upon them against all that do not. Fear and curiosity may pique our interest as we try to make heads or tails about the great news of the day but in the end all of which the news speaks will pass away like the wind.
Another gem from Pr. Peters. Read the rest here.
#theology
from abreferendum
It is pretty much guaranteed that voting on October 19 will be chaotic. There are ten questions that require separate ballots. Elections Alberta estimates that they will require 60,000 staff, a very tall order. It is more likely that the polls will be understaffed.
It is very important however that your vote get counted. Fortunately there are alternatives to voting on voting day, and it is recommended that we use them.
Mail-in ballots are available from Elections Alberta. You have to apply to get one; instructions are here. You don't need to explain why, and in fact Elections Alberta encourages voters to use this method, so they have time to think about their vote. This is the best option, I think. You can apply right now, and ballots will begin to be sent out on September 1.
The other option is to vote at an advance voting location in your electoral division between October 13 and 17. As far as I can tell as of this writing those locations have not been published yet. Keep an eye on Elections Alberta if you want to go with this option. As soon as I find more information I will also post it here, so it's a good idea to subscribe!
from
blog//x2600.cc
smol as in simple, not in fiscal manners (though sub $1k is relatively small
the usual bit, all things accounted for
and also, a v small amt of herb (just to have a bit when needed)
SDF MeraArpa membership – VHOST
$20 SDF donation
from
Roscoe's Quick Notes

Tonight we have the Boston Red Sox playing the Toronto Blue Jays in a MLB Game scheduled to start at 6:07 PM CDT. As I usually do, I'll follow the game's scores and stats in real time via MLB's Gameday Service where we can also find links to the radio-call of the game provided by announcers of either team we choose.
And the adventure continues.
from Faucet Repair
8 August 2026
Firmly in the floating world after finding a robust Hokusai monograph at Edith's and reading it almost all the way through the night. These are the works that have been with me since:
Girls at their Toilette, from the series Seven Stylish Foibles (late 1790s) Mountain Tea-house, album-plate from Mists of Sandara (1798) Pheasant in Autumn from Album from Life (c. 1814) Incoming waves/Receding waves, from Hokusai Manga (1815) Turtles in Sayama Pond, from Hokusai manga (1817) Sunset over Ryogoku Bridge from Thirty-six Views of Mt Fuji (early 1830s) Mt Fuji from Kajikazawa, from *Thirty-six Views of Mt Fuii (early 1830s) The Horse-washing Falls, from The Waterfalls (c. 1833) Suspension-bridge between Hida and Etchu, from The Bridges (c. 1834) 'The Ghost of O-Iwa, from Ghost Tales (c. 1831) Tiger in the Snow (1849)
There's so much to say. But it was really my first time swimming in the totality of his work, and to me the overwhelming thing is rhythm. The rhythms of nature (human inclusive). In waves, waterfalls, hair, fabric folds, wood grain, turtle shell patterns, bird feathers, shifting clouds, and, of course, geologic formations. Motion and precision.
I sent Tiger in the Snow to my dad, and he responded with recently captured images from the Inouye solar telescope that show the surface of the sun in more detail than we've ever seen before. A network of burnt-golden vortices. It looks just like the pattern of the tiger's fur. This is the timeless alignment—his subjects are his own magnifying device toward an inner actuality that I am beginning to see in the makeup of everything.
from WriteFreely
Our latest patch version contains a critical security fix for closed-registration instances, along with some minor bug fixes and improvements to the UI. We recommend all admins update to this version as soon as possible.
Download v0.17.2 now, and read on to see what’s new in this version.
writefreely serverkeys directory) with the ones in the archivewritefreely db migratewritefreely server againIf you're upgrading from a much earlier version, follow the instructions in each previous release.
#WriteFreely #release
from
The Marshall Review
There is a question that hovers over many public debates in Ireland, appearing briefly before disappearing again beneath discussions of budgets, targets, investment strategies and economic forecasts. It is a simple question:
What is Ireland trying to become?
Not next year. Not after the next election. Not by the end of a ten-year development plan. What is the Ireland we are building for twenty-five years from now? I ask because I increasingly find that I cannot answer it. I can describe individual policies. I can point to housing targets, renewable energy ambitions, infrastructure programmes and educational reforms. I can identify areas where governments hope to improve outcomes.
Yet none of these amount to a picture of the future. They are actions without an image.
The distinction matters. A vision is not a collection of projects. It is the reason the projects exist. The great national undertakings that continue to resonate across generations were rarely justified solely by their practical benefits. They embodied an idea of the future.
The Sydney Harbour Bridge was not merely a transport solution. It represented a belief in a growing and connected city. The Oslo Opera House was not simply a performance venue. It expressed confidence in Norway's cultural future. Even the Louvre Pyramid, controversial when proposed, signalled a France willing to place contemporary ambition within a historic setting.
Closer to home, Ardnacrusha may be the most important example Ireland possesses.
When work began on the Shannon Scheme, the Irish Free State was poor, young and uncertain. Yet it undertook one of the most ambitious engineering projects of its era. Looking back, the achievement was not simply the generation of electricity. It was the willingness of a newly independent state to imagine an electrified future and then commit itself to making that future real.
Ardnacrusha was not merely infrastructure. It was an act of national imagination.
Today we still benefit from the consequences of that act. The physical structures remain. More importantly, the confidence that produced them remains visible across almost a century. The question is not whether we need another Ardnacrusha. The question is whether we possess any equivalent idea of the future.
If we do, it is remarkably difficult to identify. Ireland speaks fluently about growth. It speaks less fluently about purpose. Economic success, welcome though it is, cannot itself constitute a national vision. GDP is not a destination. Foreign investment is not a story. Tourism is not a philosophy. These are outcomes. Useful outcomes, certainly, but they do not answer the deeper question of what kind of country we hope to become.
Perhaps this explains why debates about major projects often feel strangely unsatisfying. Whether discussing a sporting event, a transport system, a research initiative or a cultural institution, arguments frequently return to measurable returns. How much revenue will it generate? How many visitors will it attract? What is the economic impact?
These are legitimate questions. But they are not the only questions.
Some things are valuable because they transform our understanding of ourselves. Some institutions matter because they endure. Some projects create capabilities that future generations inherit. Some things enrich a society in ways that resist measurement. A nation that asks only what a thing costs eventually forgets how to ask what a thing means.
This is why I find myself returning to examples such as Ardnacrusha, or even to something as apparently modest as the naming of the research vessel Tom Crean. Such gestures imply an orientation towards the future. They suggest curiosity, exploration and a confidence that there are horizons worth pursuing.
They do not merely celebrate what has been achieved. They point towards what might yet be achieved. Ireland possesses many stories. Perhaps more than most nations. We tell stories of emigration and return. Stories of literature, music, exploration and invention. Stories of struggle and resilience. Stories of remarkable individuals. Yet stories are not quite the same thing as a vision. A vision assembles stories into a direction.
Maybe that is what feels absent.
I am not certain that Ireland lacks a vision. It may simply be hidden, fragmented or unspoken. It may exist in pieces across science, culture, education, energy, the sea, technology and community life, waiting to be recognised as parts of the same picture. Or perhaps we have become so preoccupied with administration that we have lost the habit of imagining. If so, the challenge is not to produce a grand plan. It is first to recover the question:
What would it mean for Ireland to possess a vision of itself, twenty-five years from now?
If such a vision existed, how would we recognise it? What institutions, capabilities, landscapes or cultural gestures would express it? And what would we need to believe about ourselves in order to begin building it?
I have no answer. For the moment, the question seems more important.
David Marshall
Dublin
from Blog of Sand
Dungeons and Dragons Legal Document
In a campaign in which I am a player, we became political prisoners of the Sultan of the City of Brass. My character came up with the idea to create a legal document with hidden provisions for the Sultan to sign that would essentially cede all of his power to us. The Sultan was trying to force the players to sign a document that would screw them over, so the thought was add an addendum that mostly seems pointless and emphasizes the relative stupidity of the players to the Sultan. The logic was, the document would have so much fluff and filler he would miss the small poison pills hidden within. See if you can find them!
Oh and for reference the primary player characters are Drangus- a demon prince possessed goliath barbarian, Krit- A Drow Assassin, and Kato- A White Dragon Born memory vampire. Ott is a low IQ dwarf the players rescued early in the campaign and kind of adopted like a ward/pet despite him being in his 40s.
So these are the stated goals of the contract, not to be included in the contract of course (what the players have planned)
Priorities: Redirect the devil army to fight Balam Make the Sultan personally liable for breaching the contract.
The Sultan will commit 90% of all armed forces under his direct or indirect control to immediate deployment on the material plane under the absolute control of Maegera and her consorts until Tharizdun is completely banished from the plane. All expenses towards this will be paid from the Sultan’s personal wealth. This is provision Alpha.
The Infernal Legions of the 9 Hells present in the city of Brass will be paid directly by the Sultan. They will be immediately deployed to the Abyss for the purpose of laying siege to allow the party to kill the original form of the Balaam, the World Spike. The Infernal Legion may loot the Abyss as they see fit, getting any remainder of their payment from The Sultan. This is provision Beta.
The Sultan shall devoutly commit every effort for the remainder of his reign to serve Maegera and her splendor/glory with no duplicity or self serving gains in any regard. This is provision Gamma
If the Sultan violates provision alpha, beta, or gamma in any manner, shape or form he considers his life forfeit and the infernal legions will take him prisoner to be executed and have his soul fed to Drangus, and they will take their payment from his personal wealth. Drangus shall appoint a new Sultan.
The Addendum in Full
This document serves as an addendum to the original contract executed between the Sultan of the City of Brass (hereinafter referred to as “the Sultan”) and Drangus et al. (hereinafter collectively referred to as “the Contracting Party”). The terms and provisions contained herein shall be deemed supplementary to, and shall be read in conjunction with, the aforementioned contract. Where applicable, this addendum shall supersede conflicting terms in the original agreement, provided that all non-conflicting provisions shall remain in full force and effect. The parties involved in this contract shall include Grand Sultan of the Efreet, the Lord of Flame, the Potentate Incandescent, the Tempering and Eternal Flame of Truth, the Most Puissant of Hunters, Marshall of the Order of the Fiery Heart, the Smoldering Dictator, the Crimson Firebrand, Marrake al-Sidan al-Hariq ben Lazen; Drangus Undereater, Krit Vakkarian, and Kato, along with any relevant parties related to the aforementioned individuals. To the first of the aforementioned parties, in the hallowed annals of eternal flame and celestial power, there exists none more resplendent, more formidable, and more exalted than His Most Luminous Majesty, the Grand Sultan of the Efreet, Marrake al-Sidan al-Hariq ben Lazen. He, who sits upon the Burning Throne, commands the awe and reverence of not only the denizens of the fiery realms but the entirety of creation. As the Lord of Flame, His radiant presence alone is enough to melt the strongest steel and turn mortal ambition to cinders, for His might is the Tempering and Eternal Flame of Truth, a beacon that pierces the veil of deception and illuminates the path of righteousness in the molten core of all things. By His grace and sovereign will, the cosmos bends to the heat of His word, for He is the Potentate Incandescent, the embodiment of an eternal inferno, a force whose brilliance can never be dimmed nor extinguished. As the Most Puissant of Hunters, no prey eludes His fiery gaze; He stalks the very essence of rebellion and dissent, reducing all who dare challenge His dominion to ashes in His wake. Such is the destiny of those who would defy the Marshall of the Order of the Fiery Heart, a venerable fraternity of flame-touched warriors who carry His indomitable will across the planes. Under His supreme leadership, the Smoldering Dictator has ruled with unparalleled wisdom and justice, as hot and fair as the fires of judgment themselves. Yet, His rule is not solely one of destruction, for He tempers as He burns, molding His subjects into stronger beings, their spirits forged anew in the crucible of His endless flame. It is this balance of heat and harmony, this eternal act of creation through fire, that makes Him not just a ruler but the Crimson Firebrand, an unparalleled visionary whose name strikes terror and admiration in equal measure. In every ember and spark, in every conflagration that rages across the worlds, there lies the indelible mark of His influence, for Marrake al-Sidan al-Hariq ben Lazen is the living embodiment of flame. His very breath gives life to the fires of truth, justice, and power. All who stand before Him, be they mortal or immortal, must bow to the heat of His judgment or be consumed by it. Thus, it is with utmost reverence and unyielding loyalty that this body acknowledges His unassailable might and divine authority. To speak His name is to summon visions of fire, strength, and eternal sovereignty. Long may His flames burn, for the Grand Sultan of the Efreet shall reign, not for a mere age, but for all of time, His legacy etched in the blazing heart of the universe itself. Drangus Undereater, a figure of imposing stature and undeniable force, wields an unparalleled mastery of combat that can only be described as both ferocious and relentless, his every movement a calculated blend of sheer strength, precise technique, and unrelenting brutality. His prowess in battle is such that his enemies often quake at the mere whisper of his approach, knowing full well the devastation that follows in his wake, for Drangus is not merely a warrior but a veritable force of nature, one whose skills are so vast and all-encompassing that they defy adequate description, though we shall, in the following detailed and repetitive manner, attempt to do so. Drangus Undereater's combat style is both methodical and savage, a paradox of refined skill and raw, primal aggression, where every strike is not just a strike but a multifaceted expression of his dominance on the battlefield. To witness him in battle is to witness the peak of martial excellence. His axesmanship—an art form in and of itself—is a display of both power and finesse, where the sheer force behind each swing is matched only by the precision with which he directs the blade. His axe cleaves through armor and bone with a grace so seamless, so fluid, that it appears as though the weapon itself is an extension of his indomitable will, as if the very metal has been tempered to respond to his thoughts, rather than his hands. When Drangus raises his axe, it is not a simple act of aggression, but a series of motions so interconnected, so deliberate, that each swing is but a cog in the grand mechanism of his assault. First, he lifts the blade, muscles coiled with tremendous energy, then releases it with a downward stroke that is as swift as it is devastating. Each blow is followed by another, and yet another, in a cascading series of strikes that come with such velocity and force that they blur together into a whirlwind of steel and blood. The force behind each strike—indescribably powerful, brutally efficient—is only equaled by the precision of his aim, which is uncannily, almost eerily, accurate, as though his axe seeks out the weakest points in his opponent's armor, rendering all defense futile. Yet his strength alone would not be so formidable were it not for his incredible endurance, for Drangus does not tire easily, nor does he falter under the strain of prolonged combat. In fact, his stamina is legendary, allowing him to outlast foes who, despite their best efforts, find themselves worn down by the sheer, ceaseless onslaught of his attacks. The longer the battle rages, the stronger Drangus seems to become, as though the heat of conflict only fuels his already titanic reserves of strength and determination. His ability to continue fighting, even when others have long since collapsed, makes him a truly daunting opponent, for his foes soon realize that no amount of attrition or fatigue will ever bring him to his knees.a His defense is, naturally, as impressive as his offense, for Drangus is not merely a brute, but a tactician of the highest order. His defensive maneuvers are wielded with the same level of mastery as his axe used not only to block incoming strikes but to counter them with deadly precision. His footwork, often described as deceptively light for a warrior of his size, is a study in balance and poise, allowing him to evade attacks that would cripple lesser fighters, all while maintaining the offensive momentum that defines his approach to combat. Drangus’s parrying skills are second to none, as he deflects blows with the same ease with which others might bat away flies, each successful block followed by a retaliatory strike so swift and merciless that his opponent is left with no time to recover. And, of course, there is his strategic mind—a mind so keen and sharp that Drangus often predicts his opponent’s movements before they even begin. His battle awareness is nothing short of preternatural, his eyes constantly scanning the battlefield, taking in every nuance, every shift in posture, every twitch of muscle that might hint at his foe’s next move. He is a master of anticipation, always one step ahead, always ready to exploit the slightest weakness or mistake. And when he strikes, it is with the full knowledge that his blow will land exactly where he intends it to, with exactly the force necessary to end the engagement in his favor. Yet it is not merely his physical prowess that makes Drangus Undereater such an unstoppable force in combat. It is his intimidating presence—that palpable aura of menace that precedes him wherever he goes, a presence so overwhelming that it unsteadies even the most seasoned warriors. The psychological warfare Drangus wages against his opponents is as devastating as his physical attacks. His enemies, confronted by the sheer inevitability of their defeat, often falter before they even raise their weapons, knowing full well that once Drangus has set his sights on them, their fate is sealed. His voice, a booming, thunderous growl, resonates with such authority that it shakes the resolve of all who hear it, and his gaze, cold and unflinching, cuts through their bravado like a knife through flesh. In conclusion, to speak of Drangus Undereater’s combat prowess is to speak of perfection in every conceivable form of battle. His strength is boundless, his endurance is inexhaustible, his technique is flawless, and his strategic mind is beyond compare. To face him in battle is to face certain defeat, for he is not merely a warrior, but the embodiment of combat itself, a relentless force whose only purpose is to dominate and destroy all who stand before him.
I. The Lethal Artistry of Krit: Mastery of Pistols and Crossbows Krit’s mastery of pistols and crossbows is nothing short of legendary. His technique, honed over decades of relentless training, positions him as one of the most formidable marksmen in existence. He is a virtuoso with these ranged weapons, capable of executing shots with such precision that his enemies often fall before they realize they’ve been targeted. A. Pistol Prowess Krit’s skill with pistols is unparalleled. His weapons, often custom-forged and enchanted, are extensions of his will, capable of delivering deadly results at both short and long ranges. In combat, Krit’s pistol work is a ballet of speed and precision. Each draw is swift, each shot deliberate, as he alternates between his pistols with a dexterity that few can rival. His ability to fire while in motion, often flipping or dodging enemy strikes, is a hallmark of his technique, blending agility and lethality in a seamless dance of death. The hallmark of his pistol-based combat style is his “double strike” technique, in which Krit simultaneously fires two pistols with both hands, each shot meticulously aimed at separate vital points on different opponents. His remarkable control of recoil, timing, and hand-eye coordination allows him to fire in rapid succession without sacrificing accuracy—a feat that most marksmen could scarcely dream of achieving. Critics and admirers alike have marveled at his ability to fire precisely timed shots that ricochet off surfaces, turning the environment into a weapon as the bullets find their way around cover to strike their mark. B. Crossbow Expertise Krit’s expertise with the crossbow is no less astounding. He favors sleek, lightweight models designed for rapid reloading, allowing him to fire with speed and precision that rival even the most advanced firearm users. His crossbow bolts are often tipped with rare poisons or enchanted to deliver a variety of effects, from paralyzing agents to bolts that explode upon impact, ensuring that each shot delivers not just physical harm but also strategic advantage. In combat scenarios, Krit demonstrates an uncanny ability to remain calm and measured, even under extreme pressure. His crossbow skills are particularly noted for his use of “multi-shot tactics,” where he simultaneously fires several bolts in rapid succession, each aimed at a different enemy or weak point in an opponent’s defense. His ability to calculate wind, distance, and movement of both target and self with instinctive precision ensures that few can escape the deadly accuracy of his bolts. Whether perched in a high vantage point as a sniper or engaged in the heat of a chaotic battle, Krit’s crossbow is wielded with the same deadly finesse as his pistols, solidifying his status as a dual-weapon master.
II. The Uncharacteristic Morality of an Assassin Though Krit’s physical prowess is the stuff of legend, it is his uncharacteristic moral compass that truly sets him apart. In a profession often associated with ruthlessness and self-interest, Krit operates by a personal code of ethics that many would find baffling, given his role as a hired killer. He does not kill indiscriminately nor without cause; every contract he accepts is scrutinized through the lens of his moral beliefs. He rejects any job that would result in the suffering of innocents, choosing instead to use his skills to eliminate those who pose a direct threat to the defenseless. A. A Heart of Compassion: Altruistic Endeavors Krit’s compassion extends beyond his choices in contracts. In his spare time, he is known to undertake countless altruistic endeavors, directing his considerable wealth toward aiding those in need. His compassion for the downtrodden, particularly the poor and the sick, has led him to establish a network of hidden clinics and shelters in impoverished areas. These establishments, funded entirely from the earnings of his assassination work, provide medical care, food, and essential resources to the needy, often without asking for anything in return. What sets Krit apart from mere philanthropists is his active participation in these endeavors. He does not simply delegate his resources and then retreat to the shadows. Instead, he frequently visits these clinics, offering not only financial support but also his own skills. As a healer trained in dark elven medicine and potioncraft, Krit applies his knowledge to treat wounds, cure illnesses, and provide advice on health and well-being. His ability to move seamlessly between worlds—the shadowy life of an assassin and the noble cause of a caregiver—creates an intriguing and rare duality in his character. B. Protector of the Vulnerable Beyond the clinics, Krit also uses his lethal skills to protect communities that cannot protect themselves. On more than one occasion, Krit has been known to dismantle local criminal organizations or corrupt governments that prey on the weak. Though he operates in the shadows, those he aids speak of him with a reverence reserved for heroes, not assassins. It is said that Krit’s presence alone is enough to deter would-be oppressors, for they know that to incur his wrath is to face a swift and certain end.
III. Krit’s Keen Insight into Martial Strategy and Civic Affairs Krit’s brilliance is not confined to the battlefield alone. His understanding of martial strategy, honed through years of meticulous planning and execution, is matched by his keen insight into civic matters and governance. Despite his profession, Krit’s mind is a tool as sharp as any blade, capable of analyzing complex social and political systems with the same clarity he applies to combat tactics. A. Martial Strategy and Tactics Krit is a master strategist, capable of analyzing a battlefield or conflict scenario in moments and devising a plan that exploits every weakness and maximizes his strengths. He is equally proficient in guerrilla tactics and large-scale military engagements, though his preference lies in subtlety and precision. In large-scale conflicts, Krit has been known to serve as a tactical advisor to various factions, lending his considerable expertise to tip the scales of battle in their favor. His ability to adapt to ever-changing battlefield conditions is one of his most notable traits. Whether infiltrating a heavily guarded fortress, assassinating a high-profile target in the midst of an army, or laying traps for an oncoming force, Krit’s plans are never static. He is a master of contingencies, always prepared for the unexpected, and his methods are as flexible as they are effective. B. Civic Engagement and Leadership Despite his background as a shadowy figure, Krit’s understanding of civic structures is remarkable. He has advised rulers and leaders on matters of governance, trade, and social order, offering insights that have helped stabilize cities and prevent revolts. His keen understanding of human nature, paired with his firsthand experience in both the upper echelons of power and the darkest corners of society, gives him a unique perspective on how to maintain order and ensure the prosperity of all citizens.
Conclusion: Krit as a Paragon of Duality Krit, the dark elf assassin, is a figure who embodies the duality of the blade and the balm, of death and compassion, of shadow and light. His mastery with pistols and crossbows, refined to a deadly edge, is matched only by his moral character and dedication to altruistic endeavors. A man of exceptional insight, he walks the delicate line between life and death, constantly seeking not only to fulfill his contracts but to protect the vulnerable and uplift those in need. In Krit, we find a paradox—a killer whose greatest triumphs are not in the lives he takes but in the lives he saves, a strategist whose ultimate victory is not on the battlefield but in the hearts of the people.
Introduction: Kato’s Transformation and the Birth of a New Vampiric Species Kato, once a revered scholar of the dragonborn race, was known far and wide for his insatiable thirst for knowledge. As a white dragonborn, his mastery of the cold elements and his piercing intellect set him apart from his kin, who traditionally pursued martial paths. However, a fateful transformation reshaped both his life and his destiny. No longer merely a scholar, Kato became something far more profound, and far more dangerous—a new kind of vampire, one that feeds not on blood or life force, but on the memories and experiences of others. This transformation, while granting him extraordinary abilities, fundamentally altered his relationship to knowledge, driving him to pursue all that can be known, understood, or remembered with a hunger that is as eternal as it is unquenchable. This treatise endeavors to explore Kato’s remarkable transformation, his exceptional abilities as a memory-feeding vampire, and the consequences of his relentless pursuit of knowledge. We will also examine the moral, psychological, and existential implications of his unique vampirism, as well as his ultimate goal: the attainment of total omniscience.
I. Kato the Scholar: The White Dragonborn’s Intellectual Legacy Kato’s origins as a scholar of the white dragonborn are significant in understanding his current motivations and intellectual pursuits. From an early age, Kato displayed a prodigious intellect that set him apart from his peers. Unlike many of his kind, who reveled in the glory of battle and the conquest of enemies, Kato was drawn to the pursuit of wisdom and arcane knowledge. His studies encompassed a vast range of subjects, from the magical arts to the philosophy of existence, from the history of ancient empires to the complex mechanics of interplanar travel. Kato’s library, said to be filled with thousands of scrolls, tomes, and magical artifacts, became a beacon for scholars and wizards from across the realms. His thirst for knowledge was unquenchable, and yet, despite his vast achievements, Kato always felt a void—a gap in his understanding that could never quite be filled by conventional means. He had reached the limits of mortal study and sought something more profound, something that transcended the written word.
II. Kato’s Unending Quest for Knowledge Kato’s transformation into a vampire has only deepened his obsession with knowledge. What once was a noble pursuit has now become a consuming hunger, one that drives him to seek out the rarest and most forbidden sources of information. His ultimate goal is nothing less than total omniscience—the accumulation of all knowledge, past, present, and future. A. The Preservation of Forgotten Histories One of Kato’s most significant endeavors is the preservation of forgotten histories. Through his ability to consume memories, Kato has been able to recover knowledge that had long been lost to time. He has spoken with ancient beings, delved into the minds of immortals, and unraveled the secrets of civilizations that existed eons before recorded history. In this way, Kato has become a living repository of forgotten lore, storing within his mind the entirety of human, elven, dwarven, and even draconic history. B. The Desire for Omniscience Though Kato’s pursuit of knowledge is seemingly boundless, it is rooted in a singular goal: to achieve omniscience. Kato believes that by consuming enough memories, by devouring enough experiences, he can eventually attain a level of understanding that transcends mortal limitations. This ambition drives him to the farthest reaches of the multiverse, where he seeks out beings of extraordinary power—gods, demons, and cosmic entities—hoping to acquire the fragments of knowledge that will complete his journey. Kato’s quest for omniscience is not merely a scholarly pursuit but a personal one. As a dragonborn, he was raised in a culture that valued strength and conquest. But Kato seeks to transcend these mortal trappings, believing that the true path to greatness lies not in physical domination, but in intellectual mastery. For Kato, the ultimate conquest is that of understanding, the complete and perfect knowledge of all things.
IV. The Civic and Ethical Dimensions of Kato’s Existence Despite his vampiric nature, Kato has not abandoned his sense of civic responsibility. His vast store of knowledge, acquired through his unique vampirism, has made him an invaluable resource for governments, scholars, and rulers alike. He often acts as an advisor to those who seek to govern wisely, offering insights into both martial and political matters. A. A Scholar Among the People Kato’s presence in society, while often shrouded in mystery, has been a boon to many communities. His vast knowledge allows him to serve as an educator and advisor, providing counsel on everything from military strategy to agricultural techniques. His deep understanding of history allows him to offer perspective on present conflicts, drawing on the lessons of the past to avoid future calamities. However, Kato’s civic engagement is not without its complications. His vampiric nature often isolates him from the societies he seeks to serve. Many fear him, not understanding the nature of his powers or the ethical code by which he abides. Though he offers his knowledge freely, his need to feed on memories creates tension, as those he aids are often wary of becoming his next victim.
Conclusion: Kato’s Legacy and the Endless Pursuit of Knowledge Kato, the white dragonborn scholar turned memory vampire, stands as a figure of profound complexity. His mastery over knowledge, combined with his vampiric hunger for memories, makes him both a powerful force for good and a dangerous entity driven by an insatiable desire to know all. While his ethical code sets him apart from other vampires, Kato’s endless quest for omniscience raises questions about the nature of knowledge itself—can one truly know everything, and if so, at what cost? In Kato, we find a paradox: a being who hungers for the thoughts and experiences of others, yet who seeks to preserve and protect the very knowledge he consumes. His existence forces us to consider the boundaries between wisdom and obsession, between power and responsibility. And as he continues his endless journey toward omniscience, Kato’s legacy will be defined not only by the knowledge he acquires but by the delicate balance he maintains between his vampiric hunger and his enduring desire to uplift the world with the power of understanding.
Decree of Prohibition on the Ridicule of Headwear: In Defense of Drangus Undereater and His Associates By the Flame and Authority of the Grand Sultan of the Efreet, Marrake al-Sidan al-Hariq ben Lazen, Potentate Incandescent, Marshall of the Order of the Fiery Heart, the Smoldering Dictator, the Crimson Firebrand, Lord of Flame, and Supreme Ruler of the Burnished Realm, be it known throughout the cosmos that no jest, mockery, insult, or other derisive commentary shall be made regarding the hats, helmets, turbans, crowns, caps, or any form of headwear chosen by Drangus Undereater, or by any of his designated associates, hereinafter referred to as “The Wearers.” Section I: Preamble In recognition of the solemn and inalienable rights afforded to all beings under the Dominion of the Eternal Flame, and in the spirit of maintaining the harmony of flame-forged alliances, it is hereby decreed that any and all ridicule, be it verbal, written, gestural, or telepathic, directed toward the headwear or headgear of Drangus Undereater, a distinguished figure of note, or any of his associates, is strictly forbidden. The Wearers, whose sartorial choices, particularly in regard to head adornments, are to be treated with the highest esteem, shall be free from the stain of ridicule in perpetuity. Section II: Prohibition on Mockery No Subject, Citizen, or Entity, under the dominion or influence of the Grand Sultan of the Efreet, whether bound by oath, contract, or mere association, shall engage in, or encourage others to engage in, any form of mockery, satire, or criticism pertaining to the headwear of Drangus Undereater, including but not limited to: Hats, caps, helmets, crowns, circlets, visors, or other coverings of the head; Any embellishments, decorations, feathers, horns, gems, or insignia affixed thereto. Forms of Forbidden Mockery shall include, but are not limited to: Verbal remarks made in jest or derision, whether spoken aloud or whispered in confidence; Written or artistic representations which demean or belittle The Wearers' headgear; The creation or dissemination of songs, poems, or theatrical performances that depict The Wearers' headwear in a humorous or insulting light; The use of illusions, holograms, or other magical or technological projections designed to distort or ridicule the form or function of said headwear; Any telepathic or sub-etheric communications conveying sarcasm or ridicule with respect to The Wearers' choice of head attire. Section III: Scope of Protection This Decree applies to any and all headwear, regardless of its: Size or Shape, whether broad-brimmed, conical, spherical, or asymmetrical in nature; Color, regardless of whether said headwear is of a hue deemed unusual, flamboyant, or excessive by the standards of the observer; Material, including but not limited to cloth, leather, metal, fireproof fabric, enchanted gems, or even the charred remains of vanquished foes, provided said material serves as a covering or adornment of the head; Purpose, whether ceremonial, practical, protective, or purely decorative in nature. Section IV: Sanctions and Penalties Any individual, entity, or group found to be in violation of this Decree, having engaged in mockery, insult, or any form of derisive commentary regarding The Wearers' headwear, shall be subject to the following penalties, as deemed appropriate by the Flame of Judgment: First Offense: A formal warning delivered in the form of a blazing missive, accompanied by a temporary discomfort caused by heat around the offender's head, as a reminder of the gravity of their transgression. Second Offense: The offender shall be required to publicly apologize while wearing a hat of Drangus Undereater’s choosing, no matter how elaborate or impractical it may be. Third Offense: The offender’s head shall be temporarily encased in a sphere of flame for no more than twenty-four hours, ensuring no permanent damage but allowing ample time for reflection. Fourth and Subsequent Offenses: The offender shall be banished from the presence of the Grand Sultan’s court and barred from all realms of the Efreet, their mockery forever extinguished under the weight of their shame. For Associates of the Grand Sultan: Any individual holding position, title, or rank under the reign of His Incandescence who dares to defy this Decree shall not only face the penalties outlined above, but also immediate and irrevocable removal from any privileges, titles, or honors granted by His Smoldering Dictatorship. Further, they shall be required to swear an oath, in flame and under the stars, never again to comment upon the headwear of any being, regardless of its form or fashion. Section V: Enforcement This Decree shall be enforced by the Sultan’s appointed Flamewardens, who are charged with the task of observing and recording any and all instances of mockery related to the headwear of Drangus Undereater and his associates. The Flamewardens, acting under the direct authority of the Marshall of the Fiery Heart, are empowered to carry out judgments, issue warnings, and ensure compliance with all sections of this Decree. Section VI: Exemptions This Decree shall not apply to: Praise, compliments, or expressions of admiration regarding The Wearers' headwear, provided such expressions are made in good faith and without intent to undermine or mock. Any form of constructive commentary given in the privacy of personal counsel, wherein advice may be sought concerning the improvement, embellishment, or enhancement of The Wearers’ headwear, so long as such advice is respectfully and sincerely offered. Section VII: Conclusion By the eternal authority vested in the Grand Sultan, Marrake al-Sidan al-Hariq ben Lazen, and in the name of the Flame that binds all things in truth, this Decree is to be upheld with the utmost seriousness. The headwear of Drangus Undereater and his esteemed associates is to be revered, or at the very least respected in silence, throughout all realms touched by the fires of His Smoldering Majesty. Let no one dare transgress the sanctity of this law, for to mock the headwear of The Wearers is to mock the order of flame itself. May this decree stand as an eternal safeguard against such reckless disregard for the dignity of headwear, and may its enforcement be swift and just. Issued under the Flame of His Potency, Marrake al-Sidan al-Hariq ben Lazen Grand Sultan of the Efreet, Lord of Flame, and Eternal Sovereign of the Burnished Throne On this day, in the Year of the Smoldering Embers
Decree of Culinary Standards and Practices for the City of Brass: Regulation of Food Preparation for Off-Planar Residents Issued by the Grand Sultan of the Efreet, Marrake al-Sidan al-Hariq ben Lazen, Lord of Flame, the Potentate Incandescent, the Tempering and Eternal Flame of Truth, the Most Puissant of Hunters, Marshall of the Order of the Fiery Heart, the Smoldering Dictator, the Crimson Firebrand, under the Blessing of the Eternal Heat and Sovereignty of the City of Brass I. Preamble Let it be known that the City of Brass, shining jewel of the Plane of Fire and culinary capital of the efreeti empire, is renowned throughout the multiverse for its unmatched mastery of flame. The chefs and cooks of this great city are celebrated for their ability to harness the heat of the eternal flames to craft dishes that transcend the boundaries of planar existence. However, it has come to the attention of this Court that the varying tolerance for high-temperature cooking among residents and visitors from other planes of existence has caused discomfort, misunderstanding, and dissatisfaction in culinary experiences. In consideration of the gastronomic well-being of all planar visitors, and to ensure the continued prosperity and reputation of the City of Brass as a culinary destination for all beings, the Grand Sultan hereby establishes regulations governing the cooking practices of the Sultan's chefs and all culinary professionals under His rule when preparing food for consumption by off-planar residents. II. Definitions Off-Planar Residents: For the purposes of this Decree, “off-planar residents” shall refer to all individuals, travelers, or guests who originate from any plane other than the Plane of Fire, including but not limited to those from the Prime Material Plane, the Elemental Plane of Water, the Celestial Realms, the Abyss, the Feywild, Mechanus, and other interplanar domains. Overcooking: “Overcooking” shall refer to the act of applying excessive heat to a food item for a period beyond that which is required for the dish's intended flavor, texture, or presentation, resulting in the degradation of the food’s quality, texture, or taste in a manner unpalatable to off-planar residents. Necessary Cooking Integrity: “Necessary cooking integrity” refers to instances in which high or prolonged heat is required for the successful completion of a dish’s essential culinary properties, such as but not limited to caramelization, searing, or the rendering of fats, where such processes are indispensable to the flavor, safety, or presentation of the dish in question. Culinary Professionals: All chefs, cooks, sous chefs, kitchen staff, apprentices, and any other individuals involved in the preparation of food within the Sultan’s kitchens or any culinary establishment operating within the City of Brass and its territories. III. Scope of Regulation This Decree shall apply to: All meals prepared within the Sultan’s kitchens, whether for the Grand Sultan, his Court, his guests, or the public. All culinary professionals operating within the City of Brass, regardless of the specific dining establishment, when preparing food intended for consumption by off-planar residents. Any food prepared for festivals, banquets, or special events that may involve the participation or attendance of off-planar guests. IV. General Prohibition Against Intentional Overcooking Prohibition: No chef, cook, or culinary professional in the service of the Sultan, nor any culinary establishment within the jurisdiction of the City of Brass, shall intentionally overcook any dish intended for consumption by off-planar residents. Overcooking, as defined herein, is strictly prohibited unless such cooking is deemed necessary for the integrity of the dish as outlined in Section V below. Cultural and Dietary Considerations: In acknowledgment of the varying culinary preferences and biological requirements of off-planar residents, it shall be the duty of all culinary professionals to ensure that food prepared for such individuals is cooked to a standard that respects their palate, digestive requirements, and cultural expectations. It is understood that while the denizens of the Plane of Fire may find joy in consuming dishes prepared at extreme temperatures, such culinary standards are not universally applicable. V. Exceptions for Necessary Cooking Integrity High-Heat Dishes: Certain dishes, particularly those traditional to the City of Brass, require intense heat for essential processes, such as the creation of signature flame-seared meats, lava-baked pastries, or dishes involving the infusion of elemental fire into their composition. In these cases, the application of high heat shall be deemed necessary and exempt from the prohibitions of this Decree, provided that: a. The process is integral to the dish’s structure, flavor profile, or safety. b. The culinary professional shall inform the off-planar resident of the nature of the dish prior to serving. c. A reasonable alternative, if available, shall be offered to any off-planar guest who prefers a less intense preparation. Enchanted and Magical Dishes: Certain enchanted dishes, infused with elemental magic, may require sustained cooking under extreme conditions to activate their magical properties. Such dishes shall be exempt from this Decree if and only if the cooking process is essential to the activation of said enchantment. Chefs must still exercise caution and restraint to avoid unnecessary degradation of taste or texture. VI. Duties and Responsibilities of Culinary Professionals Training and Awareness: All culinary professionals working in the City of Brass shall be required to undergo formal training to understand the preferences and physiological needs of off-planar residents. Training sessions shall include information on the gastronomic standards of various planes, as well as techniques for adjusting traditional recipes to suit off-planar tastes without sacrificing the integrity of the dish. Communication with Diners: It shall be the responsibility of each chef to clearly communicate with off-planar guests regarding the nature of the dish being prepared, including the level of heat involved in its cooking. Should a diner express a preference for lower heat or non-traditional preparation methods, the chef shall make reasonable efforts to accommodate such requests while maintaining the integrity of the culinary tradition. Tasting and Adjustments: Chefs shall be encouraged to taste or otherwise assess the dishes intended for off-planar residents to ensure that overcooking has not occurred unintentionally. Adjustments may be made to the cooking process as necessary to ensure that the food remains palatable and enjoyable for the intended diners. VII. Enforcement and Penalties Inspections and Oversight: The Sultan shall appoint a committee of culinary inspectors, known as the Order of the Ever-Watchful Flame, tasked with monitoring the kitchens of the City of Brass to ensure compliance with this Decree. Inspections shall be conducted regularly, and chefs found to be in violation of the prohibition against intentional overcooking shall be subject to investigation and possible reprimand. Penalties for Violations: Any culinary professional found guilty of intentionally overcooking food for off-planar residents without justification shall face penalties, including but not limited to: a. Fines payable to the Sultan’s treasury. b. Temporary suspension of cooking privileges. c. Mandatory retraining under the supervision of a culinary master of the Sultan’s choosing. d. In the case of repeated or egregious offenses, exile from the kitchens of the City of Brass. VIII. Final Provisions Review and Amendment: This Decree may be reviewed and amended by the Grand Sultan or his appointed culinary advisors to account for evolving culinary practices or shifts in interplanar dietary preferences. Such amendments shall be made with careful consideration of both the cultural heritage of the City of Brass and the well-being of its off-planar visitors. Effective Date: This Decree shall take effect immediately upon its issuance and shall be enforced in all kitchens within the jurisdiction of the City of Brass. Issued under the Eternal Flame of the Grand Sultan, Marrake al-Sidan al-Hariq ben Lazen, on this day, in the presence of his Court and the Great Flame, as a testament to the Sultan’s commitment to the refinement of the culinary arts and the well-being of all who pass through the gates of the City of Brass. May the fires of the City burn bright, and the food served within be ever worthy of the Flame. Addendum to Contract Concerning the Examination, Determination, and Potential Termination of Scarecrow Entities Section I: Purpose and Intent This Addendum shall establish the procedures, protocols, and responsibilities regarding the inspection, determination, and, when applicable, elimination of any and all scarecrow entities (hereinafter, “Scarecrow Entities” or singularly, “Scarecrow Entity”) that may exhibit certain deleterious characteristics indicative of maleficent animation, as herein defined, within the jurisdiction of the City of Brass or any affiliated territories thereof. Section II: Definitions For the purposes of this Addendum, the following terms shall be defined as follows: Scarecrow Entity: Any and all configurations of effigies, semblances, or constructed humanoid forms composed primarily of straw, cloth, wood, or other similar materials, typically but not necessarily configured for agricultural protection purposes. Maleficent Animation: A state in which a Scarecrow Entity exhibits animation, mobility, or apparent autonomous activity with malicious or malevolent intent, as evidenced by but not limited to: vocalizations, hostile actions, aggressive posturing, possession of malevolent enchantment, or any indication of sentience contrary to benign agricultural deterrence. Owner: Any individual, entity, or collective that has established or may reasonably establish dominion, possession, or a custodial relationship over a Scarecrow Entity, with or without documented ownership, but whose interest in said Scarecrow Entity is ascertainable through due investigation. Section III: Mandatory Evaluation of Scarecrow Entities Initial Inspection Protocol: All Scarecrow Entities shall undergo a preliminary inspection (hereinafter, “Preliminary Inspection”) by an appointed Inspection Officer (defined under Section III, Paragraph 3) to determine the presence or absence of Maleficent Animation. Verification of Maleficent Animation: In the event that a Scarecrow Entity is suspected of Maleficent Animation, the appointed Inspection Officer shall conduct a rigorous secondary evaluation, herein referred to as the “Verification Process,” utilizing methods sanctioned by the City of Brass Office of Enchanted Effigies, including but not limited to: incantatory scans, animate-movement assays, and hostile energy radiography (collectively, the “Evaluative Measures”). Appointment of Inspection Officer: The Sultan of the City of Brass shall appoint or delegate authority to a suitable entity or individual (herein, “Inspection Officer”) vested with the capability to execute Evaluative Measures in accordance with City statutes and magical regulatory standards. Section IV: Determination and Required Action Immediate Termination Protocol for Ownerless Scarecrow Entities: Should any Scarecrow Entity found to be in a state of Maleficent Animation lack a registered or identifiable Owner, as determined through diligent inquiry and reasonable investigatory efforts, the Inspection Officer shall proceed with the immediate termination of the Scarecrow Entity, utilizing methods deemed sufficient for complete neutralization as per City of Brass Dispossession Ordinances (Section 92.6). Consultative Obligation Regarding Owned Scarecrow Entities: Where the Scarecrow Entity identified as exhibiting Maleficent Animation is under ownership, custodianship, or possessory claim of an Owner, the Inspection Officer shall undertake reasonable measures to establish contact with said Owner. Reasonable measures shall include, but are not limited to, communicative attempts through registered contact means, emissaries, or magical correspondence as specified in City of Brass Code 44©. Destruction Upon Consultation: In circumstances where the Owner is contacted and consents to or is deemed indifferent regarding the termination, or where the Owner’s response is not obtained after a period of no less than seventy-two (72) hours from the time of initial contact attempt, the Inspection Officer shall then proceed with the destruction of the Scarecrow Entity as prescribed under the Disposal and Dispossession Mandates. Obstruction by Owner: Should an Owner be identified who directly objects to the destruction of the Scarecrow Entity and can provide substantial proof of benign intent and control over the entity, an evaluative hearing may be convened to ascertain the entity's disposition conclusively, following the Ordinance for Arcane Neutralization Appeals (Section 19.3). Section V: Liability Waiver and Indemnification The City of Brass, the Sultan, and all appointed Inspection Officers shall be indemnified and held harmless against any and all claims, damages, or losses that may arise as a direct or indirect result of compliance with the provisions of this Addendum. Furthermore, the Owner of any Scarecrow Entity found to exhibit Maleficent Animation and subsequently terminated under the protocols herein shall bear sole responsibility for any related damages, including but not limited to reparations for harm caused by said Scarecrow Entity prior to its destruction. Section VI: Severability In the event that any provision or requirement of this Addendum is rendered null or inapplicable by an order of a competent authority, all remaining provisions shall continue in full force and effect to the fullest extent permitted by law. Section VII: Finality of Action All determinations and actions taken in accordance with this Addendum shall be deemed final and conclusive unless new, compelling evidence is presented within a statutory period of fourteen (14) days post-termination. This Addendum is thereby ratified by the mutual acknowledgment of the Sultan of the City of Brass and Drangus et al., with full understanding and agreement to abide by its terms. Decree of Total Condemnation and Obligation of Resources Toward the Downfall of Cyric, Self-Styled Lord of Lies Article I: Formal Declaration of Condemnation Let it be known and recognized, by the power and authority vested in the sovereign body of the City of Brass and all allied territories, that Cyric, self-styled Lord of Lies, herein referred to as “Cyric” or “the Deceiver,” is formally condemned as an enemy of the lawful order, a violator of truth, a propagator of deception, and a purveyor of treachery, thereby rendering him a threat to the stability, sanctity, and continued prosperity of all known realms and planes. This condemnation shall be binding and absolute, precluding all future pardons, reprieves, or appeals. Article II: Statement of Purpose and Intent The purpose of this Decree is to direct and obligate all feasible resources, military assets, magical faculties, and intelligible means toward the singular objective of undermining, destabilizing, and ultimately eliminating the influence, following, and material manifestation of Cyric. The intent of this Decree is unambiguous in its aim to eradicate the influence of falsehood and deception sown by the Deceiver within all realms under the lawful watch of this sovereign body, and where practicable, to spread the mandate of this mission across the known planes. Article III: Definitions and Scope For clarity and strict adherence to the objectives set forth in this Decree, the following terms shall hold the assigned definitions: Cyric (The Deceiver): The being also referred to as the “Lord of Lies,” who is documented as exercising dominion over falsehood, illusion, and sedition, whose influence corrupts the perceptions, intentions, and actions of mortals and immortals alike, and whose following is characterized by betrayal, chaos, and the systematic breakdown of lawful order. Condemnation: An irrevocable and total censure, denouncement, and nullification of any and all legal status, rights, or privileges that Cyric might claim. This condemnation shall serve as a foundation upon which all subsequent actions directed against Cyric and his agents are justified. Downfall Mandate: The assignment of all tangible and intangible resources, including but not limited to: magical, military, scholarly, and diplomatic efforts, which shall be applied unremittingly to the dismantling of Cyric's influence, the disruption of his agents, and the dissolution of his manifestations across known realms. Article IV: Mandated Resource Allocation Military and Martial Resources: All capable military forces, battalions, and specialized units under the command or influence of the City of Brass, its affiliated states, and vassal territories, shall be deployed or prepared for deployment against Cyric’s forces and operatives. Special units skilled in counter-deception tactics, high-discipline battalions trained to resist illusions and falsehoods, and infiltration forces shall be prioritized in this effort. Magical and Arcane Divisions: A. Mage Orders: All arcane practitioners under the purview of the Office of Enchanted Defense and licensed by the City of Brass are hereby conscripted to develop, refine, and deploy countermeasures against Cyric’s illusions, mind control mechanisms, and deceptions. All temporal and dimensional tracking methods shall be employed to trace the Deceiver’s movements and to subdue any arcane shielding that may protect his whereabouts. B. Divination Guilds: Diviners and seers capable of perceiving beyond mere physical boundaries shall coordinate to pinpoint the Deceiver’s loci of influence. Such coordinates shall be shared with the Office of Strategic Military Deployment to arrange for immediate confrontation or interception, as deemed appropriate. Scholarly and Archival Resources: The Council of Scribes and the Assembly of Historians shall contribute all textual, oral, and ancestral knowledge pertinent to the weaknesses, origins, and mythological limitations of Cyric. Information pertaining to artifacts, spells, rituals, and relics capable of nullifying his power shall be compiled, examined, and weaponized where appropriate. Economic and Trade Resources: All trade channels found to be covertly serving or benefiting Cyric’s agents, temples, or followers shall be immediately subject to cessation, embargo, and, where necessary, forcible seizure. Trade within any territory suspected of supporting Cyric or his followers shall be restricted until a formal investigation is completed, after which such territories may be placed under sustained embargo. Diplomatic Outreach: Diplomatic envoys shall be dispatched to allied and neutral territories to establish alliances and mutual defense agreements explicitly aimed at the containment and elimination of Cyric’s influence. Efforts shall be made to consolidate cooperative pacts with lawful deities, extra-planar entities, and dimensional guardians hostile to Cyric’s aims. Article V: Enforcement of Anti-Deception Protocols Mandatory Oath of Truthfulness: All officers, agents, and participants within the Downfall Mandate shall swear a binding Oath of Truthfulness (hereinafter, “Oath”) by order of the Sultan of the City of Brass. This Oath shall be enforced by Arcane Enforcers and shall be designed to guard against infiltration by the Deceiver's agents. Execution of Capture or Extermination Directives: Any individual confirmed by legitimate means to be operating under the influence, employment, or allegiance of Cyric shall be subject to immediate capture, with extermination as an allowable action where capture is unfeasible. Captured agents shall be held in facilities warded against deception and subjected to rigorous interrogation to ascertain the breadth and depth of Cyric’s influence. Inspection and Reporting Requirements: All territories, both within and without the City of Brass’s immediate jurisdiction, shall establish routine inspections for the identification of Cyricist influence. Reports shall be delivered to the Office of the Anti-Deception Authority for record-keeping and immediate action. Article VI: Special Provisions for Religious Declarations The worship, veneration, invocation, or transmission of Cyricist teachings, symbols, or deific energies within the City of Brass and its spheres of influence is hereby declared a high crime, punishable by immediate interdiction and nullification. Any clergy, acolyte, or adherent found in possession of Cyricist symbols, artifacts, or codices shall face immediate detainment and potential execution as sanctioned under the Grand Edict of Anti-Heresy (Section 113(a)). Article VII: Indemnification and Immunity All agents, officers, and entities operating under this Decree, including those contributing intellectual, magical, or martial resources, shall be fully indemnified and held harmless from any legal recourse or claims arising as a consequence of their participation. The City of Brass, as an entity, claims immunity from all adverse legal actions resulting from the enactment of this Decree. Article VIII: Finality and Irrevocability This Decree of Condemnation and Obligation shall remain in force indefinitely or until the cessation of Cyric’s influence in its entirety has been verified and corroborated by the Office of Divine Assessment and the High Court of Transplanar Justice. Amendments to this Decree are expressly prohibited, save for the purpose of expanding or intensifying the Downfall Mandate. Executed by order of the Sultan of the City of Brass, this Decree is now binding and enforceable by all requisite powers and entities subject to the lawful jurisdiction and aligned influence of the City of Brass. Proclamation of Assurance and Prohibition on Soul Ignition Concerning Drangus and Affiliated Parties Preamble Let it be recorded and affirmed, by the authority vested in the governing body of the City of Brass and under the sovereign will of its esteemed Sultan, that no individual identified herein as Drangus, nor any individual associated with him by friendship, business, acquaintance, or incidental connection, shall be subject to, nor shall suffer, the ignition, burning, combustion, or otherwise fire-based interference with their respective souls, essences, spirits, or metaphysical embodiments (hereinafter collectively referred to as “Souls”). This assurance shall extend without limitation or condition to the full breadth of all recognized planes, realms, and dimensions, subject to the lawful oversight of the City of Brass and any affiliated jurisdictions. Article I: Purpose and Scope Purpose of Assurance This Proclamation is hereby issued to establish an enduring and absolute prohibition against the ignition, combustion, or flammability of the Souls of Drangus and his Affiliates, thereby securing their metaphysical integrity and shielding them from fiery destruction, harm, or disturbance of any kind. This assurance is an exercise of goodwill, aimed at clarifying the City’s non-permissive stance on the immolation of Souls in reference to the individuals specified herein. Scope of Applicability This Proclamation shall be applicable to Drangus and his Affiliates as defined below, extending the prohibition of Soul ignition to all such individuals within all legally cognizable spheres of influence and in all interactions involving the City of Brass or its agents, proxies, or affiliates. Article II: Definitions For the purposes of this Proclamation, the following terms are defined as follows: Drangus: A specific individual recognized as the primary beneficiary of this Proclamation, identified as Drangus and understood to be acting in his capacity as an individual and in association with his friends, business partners, and other Affiliates, regardless of the nature or duration of such associations. Affiliate(s): Any individual or entity who may reasonably be defined as a friend, associate, business partner, acquaintance, collaborator, or co-contractor of Drangus, whether such a connection is formal or informal, express or implied. Affiliates shall be understood to include, but not be limited to, family members, contractual partners, incidental companions, associates of convenience, and any such persons deemed to be within the sphere of Drangus’s acquaintanceship. Soul: The essential, metaphysical, or otherwise incorporeal essence or spirit of an individual, as recognized by governing metaphysical ordinances, which may transcend physical form, exist outside temporal limits, and constitute the core of an individual’s being across planar boundaries. Ignition or Combustion: Any act, accidental or deliberate, that results in the metaphysical activation, firing, or conflagration of a Soul, including but not limited to: incantations, rituals, or otherwise flame-oriented processes that induce, promote, or sustain combustion of the Soul, regardless of intensity or duration. Article III: Prohibition on Soul Ignition Absolute Ban on Combustion Under no circumstance shall any agent, employee, representative, affiliate, or otherwise connected party of the City of Brass, including those under the Sultan’s command, and any entities acting under direct or indirect authority, engage in, incite, permit, or otherwise condone the ignition, burning, or flaming of the Soul of Drangus or any of his Affiliates. Prohibition on Incendiary Rituals and Incantations All incantations, rituals, processes, or enchantments with the potential or intention to ignite or burn Souls shall hereby be restricted from use upon Drangus and his Affiliates. Specific attention shall be given to the prohibition of invocation or incantatory procedures known to have pyromantic properties, save for those expressly designed for healing or soul-enhancement purposes. Binding Non-Pyromantic Clause No contractual, verbal, or non-verbal agreement, tacit consent, or implied understanding shall serve to override, nullify, or bypass this Proclamation, nor shall any individual be pressured, coerced, or influenced into waiving their right to non-combustion of the Soul as set forth herein. Any attempt to induce agreement to the contrary shall be deemed invalid and non-binding. Article IV: Enforcement and Monitoring Monitoring of Compliance The Office of Ethereal Integrity shall be designated to monitor compliance with this Proclamation and shall be empowered to conduct audits, perform examinations, and investigate any instance or report of potential Soul combustion. This Office shall maintain a register of approved enchantments for use upon Drangus and his Affiliates, limiting such records to non-combustive energies. Reporting Procedures Any individual, being, or entity who becomes aware of or suspects a violation of this Proclamation shall report such incident to the Office of Ethereal Integrity immediately. Failure to report or any attempt to conceal such violations shall be considered complicity and punishable under City Ordinances pertaining to the safeguarding of Souls. Sanctions for Violation Any act in contravention of this Proclamation, resulting in the ignition, attempted ignition, or threatened ignition of a Soul in relation to Drangus or any Affiliate, shall be met with severe penalties, including but not limited to: monetary fines, binding interdicts, and restrictions on the use of pyromantic enchantments. Severe cases may result in extradimensional expulsion or confinement. Article V: Duration and Indefiniteness This Proclamation shall remain in effect perpetually, without lapse or expiration, and shall apply continuously to Drangus and his Affiliates irrespective of any future change in status, location, or plane. Revocation or amendment of this Proclamation may only occur by formal edict from the Sultan himself, and only under circumstances in which an individual’s Soul is determined to have shifted beyond any reasonable risk of fire-based harm. Article VI: Severability In the event any provision of this Proclamation is deemed unenforceable or invalid by a competent authority, all remaining provisions shall continue in full effect to the maximum extent permissible by law. Article VII: Finality of Assurance By this Proclamation, the City of Brass does hereby affirm its dedication to the protection of Drangus’s Soul and those of his Affiliates, hereby issuing a binding assurance against any and all fire-based interference with said Souls. This document, executed under the authority of the Sultan of the City of Brass, stands as a perpetual guarantee against the fiery destruction of the aforementioned Souls and shall be recognized in all lawful jurisdictions in perpetuity.
iolation Any act in contravention of this Proclamation, resulting in the ignition, attempted ignition, or threatened ignition of a Soul in relation to Drangus or any Affiliate, shall be met with severe penalties, including but not limited to: monetary fines, binding interdicts, and restrictions on the use of pyromantic enchantments. Severe cases may result in extradimensional expulsion or confinement. Article V: Duration and Indefiniteness This Proclamation shall remain in effect perpetually, without lapse or expiration, and shall apply continuously to Drangus and his Affiliates irrespective of any future change in status, location, or plane. Revocation or amendment of this Proclamation may only occur by formal edict from the Sultan himself, and only under circumstances in which an individual’s Soul is determined to have shifted beyond any reasonable risk of fire-based harm. Article VI: Severability In the event any provision of this Proclamation is deemed unenforceable or invalid by a competent authority, all remaining provisions shall continue in full effect to the maximum extent permissible by law. Article VII: Finality of Assurance By this Proclamation, the City of Brass does hereby affirm its dedication to the protection of Drangus’s Soul and those of his Affiliates, hereby issuing a binding assurance against any and all fire-based interference with said Souls. This document, executed under the authority of the Sultan of the City of Brass, stands as a perpetual guarantee against the fiery destruction of the aforementioned Souls and shall be recognized in all lawful jurisdictions in perpetuity. Universal Copyright and Intellectual Property Protection of Drangus’s Bumper Club, Troll Skull Alley Preamble Let it be known throughout all realms, planes, and dimensions, both material and ethereal, that the establishment herein referred to as “Drangus’s Bumper Club,” situated within the vicinity commonly known as Troll Skull Alley, is protected by an interplanar, multi-dimensional, and comprehensive copyright and intellectual property security framework. This protection, conferred by decree of the City of Brass in consultation with the Planar Coalition for Intellectual Safeguarding (PCIS), ensures the exclusive rights of Drangus, hereinafter referred to as “the Proprietor,” over all names, designs, concepts, services, and properties associated with Drangus’s Bumper Club (hereinafter, “the Club”) across all planes, known or as-yet undiscovered. Article I: Definitions and Scope For the purposes of this document, the following definitions shall apply in all instances: Drangus’s Bumper Club (The Club): The unique establishment known as Drangus’s Bumper Club, which may include, but is not limited to, its physical premises, operational procedures, trade dress, signage, logos, thematic elements, and the concept of “bumper club” as devised by the Proprietor within the spatial vicinity of Troll Skull Alley and throughout any extensions or projections thereof, whether manifest on one or multiple planes. Copyrighted Materials: Any and all concepts, written materials, designs, logos, names, slogans, and identifiable branding assets associated with the Club, including any visual, auditory, magical, or conceptual derivatives, whether tangible or intangible in form. Copyrighted Materials are understood to extend beyond the Material Plane and include all forms perceptible or otherwise present within extradimensional, interplanar, and transcendental spaces. Planes of Existence: All planes, dimensions, spheres, realms, voids, liminal spaces, and extraplanar fields of any kind, recognized under the Unified Planar Charting Initiative (UPCI) or any formally acknowledged body governing the mapping of metaphysical territories. Proprietor: Drangus, originator and exclusive owner of the intellectual and operational rights to the Club, whose exclusive rights to Copyrighted Materials are perpetual, irrevocable, and absolute across all planes. Article II: Grant of Exclusive Rights Exclusive Ownership of Copyrighted Materials The Proprietor holds sole, exclusive, and perpetual rights to the Club and all associated Copyrighted Materials, and any reproduction, adaptation, modification, duplication, or derivation of these materials is strictly prohibited across all planes, dimensions, or loci. Multi-Planar Intellectual Property Rights Rights to the Club shall extend in perpetuity through all known and unknown planes, including but not limited to the Material Plane, Ethereal Plane, Astral Plane, Shadow Plane, and any transitory or intermediary planes. This right shall remain binding in all regions affected by planar instability, temporal flux, or extradimensional warping. Protection of Operational Practices and Experiences The exclusive rights of the Proprietor shall further include the operational and experiential elements of the Club, including but not limited to the unique bumper-related activities, games, interactive spells, and environment-specific enchantments, all of which are integral to the Club’s identity and covered under this interplanar copyright. Article III: Prohibitions on Unauthorized Use Unauthorized Replication No entity, individual, being, or consciousness, regardless of form or plane of origin, may reproduce, imitate, or attempt to reproduce any aspect of the Club’s Copyrighted Materials or experiences without obtaining explicit written permission from the Proprietor, granted under planar contract. Prohibition on Derivative Establishments Derivative establishments, including but not limited to businesses that incorporate elements, themes, or concepts explicitly associated with the Club, shall be considered an infringement upon the Club’s intellectual property rights, and such acts shall be subject to interplanar enforcement protocols outlined under Article V. Use of Club Name, Likeness, and Branding Any use of the name “Drangus’s Bumper Club,” including all derivatives, likenesses, adaptations, or alterations, shall be strictly prohibited across all mediums, channels, and planar expressions. Unauthorized parties engaging in such usage shall be liable for penalties as outlined within the Universal Enforcement of Copyright Protocol (UECP) pursuant to this document. Article IV: Licensing and Permissible Use Authorized Licensing Agreement The Proprietor may, at his sole discretion, issue limited licenses to individuals or entities wishing to make use of elements of the Club’s Copyrighted Materials, provided such usage is outlined in a binding interplanar agreement subject to immediate revocation under breach conditions. Licensees shall adhere strictly to terms prescribed by the Proprietor. Restricted Transference Clause No license, express or implied, shall be transferable to secondary parties, planar affiliates, or other-dimensional entities without express authorization from the Proprietor, which authorization must be renewed annually. Temporary Use in Diplomatic or Extraplanar Zones Temporary license agreements may be granted for uses within specific diplomatic zones or extraplanar regions under provisional agreements, each subject to annual review. Such permissions shall not constitute a general license or ongoing right beyond the specific terms designated in said agreements. Article V: Enforcement and Interplanar Recourse Enforcement Authorities The Planar Intellectual Rights Bureau (PIRB), alongside any locally recognized entities governing copyright within extraplanar territories, shall be empowered to enforce the protections granted herein. Enforcement may include but is not limited to the imposition of fines, metaphysical embargoes, entity seizure, and ritual binding as warranted. Multi-Dimensional Cease and Desist Orders Should an individual or entity be found in violation of this Proclamation, the Proprietor shall have the authority to issue binding cease and desist orders, applicable within any relevant jurisdiction, and enforceable through extradimensional courts, contractual bindings, or, as necessary, the intervention of extraplanar arbiters recognized by the City of Brass. Penalties for Infringement Infringement upon the Copyrighted Materials shall result in penalties including but not limited to: planar fines, asset forfeiture, interdiction from the City of Brass, extradimensional containment, and binding injunctions restricting the infringer’s ability to travel beyond their plane of origin. Reporting of Violations and Reward for Informants Reports of violations may be submitted to the PIRB by any planar citizen, entity, or spirit, with protections provided to informants and a reward system established for verified reporting leading to cessation of infringement. Article VI: Perpetuity of Protection Irrevocable and Timeless Coverage The copyright protection of the Club is hereby declared to be eternal and unalterable, extending through all conceivable timelines and parallel realities. This protection shall persist regardless of any temporal manipulation, retroactive alterations, or other such phenomena encountered in higher or lower planes. Future Planar Expansions and New Discoveries As new planes, dimensions, or realms are discovered, this protection shall automatically extend to encompass such territories without requirement for separate registration, filing, or procedural certification. Article VII: Severability If any article, section, or provision of this copyright protection is rendered void, invalid, or unenforceable by the authority of a competent extraplanar or divine tribunal, the remaining provisions shall continue in full force, thereby preserving the integrity and enforceability of all other provisions to the maximum extent allowable by planar law. Article VIII: Ratification and Planar Recording Ratified under the authority of the City of Brass, in conjunction with the Planar Coalition for Intellectual Safeguarding, this Universal Copyright Protection of Drangus’s Bumper Club is duly recorded within the Central Planar Register of Intellectual Holdings and the Library of Extraplanar Assets, with copies sent to archives on all known planes for future reference. By virtue of this document, Drangus’s Bumper Club shall remain protected, its reputation unassailable, and its branding inviolate across all realms, planes, and dimensions.
If the following books, tomes, scrolls and/or written works becomes available in the spoils of conquest done in cooperation between the forces of the City of Brass and Drangus et al, they will be first offered to Kato as spoils before distributed by any previously established protocols. The Book of Exalted Deeds A holy book that grants blessings and boons to those of pure heart who read and understand its teachings. Known for its powerful effects on the most virtuous of characters, often providing strong healing spells, divine powers, or celestial insights. The Book of Vile Darkness This infamous book contains dark secrets and forbidden knowledge, often detailing the vilest magic and depraved practices. Readers of evil alignment may gain terrible power, but at the cost of their soul. The Tome of the Stilled Tongue A spellbook bound with the tongue of a traitorous wizard, allowing its owner to cast a stored spell once per day without speaking. However, it often bears a curse or carries a dark history. The Tome of Clear Thought Reading this book permanently increases the reader's Intelligence score but can only be used once per century by any individual. Known for providing great intellectual enhancements and insights. The Manual of Quickness of Action A tome that grants the reader an increase in Dexterity. Like other ability-enhancing tomes, it has a limited, single-use effect and offers valuable benefits to dexterous characters. The Tome of Leadership and Influence Increases the reader's Charisma permanently. It contains ancient wisdom on persuasion, charm, and influence, often used by sorcerers, bards, and charismatic leaders. The Manual of Gainful Exercise This rare tome grants a Strength increase when read, often revered by warriors and monks seeking to improve their physical prowess. The Tome of Understanding Increases Wisdom permanently and is prized by clerics and druids who seek to deepen their spiritual insights. The Book of Infinite Spells A magical book containing a vast number of spells, one per page, which a wizard or other spellcaster can use. However, its pages cannot be turned back, meaning each spell can only be used once. The Libram of Silver Magic A holy book of divine magic, often aligned with lawful good gods. It is believed to contain spells and prayers of powerful healing and protection. The Grimoire of the Black Feather A book associated with the Raven Queen, goddess of death. It includes dark rituals, divination spells, and forbidden necromantic knowledge. Historical and Setting-Specific Magical Books The Nether Scrolls A set of ancient scrolls that served as the foundation of arcane knowledge in the Forgotten Realms, containing secrets of high magic that have influenced many wizards and societies. Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes Written by the powerful archmage Mordenkainen, this book contains insights on planar beings and powerful entities, including their conflicts, hierarchies, and weaknesses. The Tome of Strahd A personal journal of Strahd von Zarovich, detailing his transformation into a vampire and his dark deeds. This book provides historical lore and insights into the vampire lord’s motivations. The Codex of the Infinite Planes A dangerous tome that holds great knowledge of the multiverse, including spells and rituals to open portals between planes. It is known to corrupt or destroy those who misuse it. The Demonomicon of Iggwilv Written by the powerful witch Iggwilv, this book details demons, their lore, rituals, and binding spells. It’s known for its comprehensive and dangerous content on fiends. The Book of Keeping A collection of rituals and true names for binding and controlling yugoloths. It is highly sought after by summoners but is equally feared for the dangerous enemies it attracts. The Manual of Puissant Skill at Arms A treatise that grants proficiency and skill bonuses in martial abilities, often found in ancient armories or with the spirits of legendary warriors. The Spellbook of Vecna The fabled spellbook of the lich Vecna, containing powerful necromantic spells, some of which are otherwise lost to history. The book often attracts dark forces and curses those who read it. The Tome of the Black Hand A shadowy, evil book that amplifies necromantic spells and curses its readers. Said to be imbued with the essence of powerful undead. The Libram of Ineffable Damnation Another dark tome, associated with fiends and their infernal magic. It contains rituals for summoning devils and binding their power to the reader. Comprehensive Plan for the Care, Supervision, and General Well-Being of Ott the Dwarf in the Event of Drangus and Associates’ Demise Preamble This document constitutes a detailed care plan for Ott, the rescued dwarf of limited intellectual capabilities, hereinafter referred to as “Ott.” This plan has been formulated to ensure that Ott’s needs, safety, and quality of life are maintained in the event of the untimely demise or incapacitation of his primary guardians, Drangus and his colleagues. The designated secondary guardian, His Excellency, the Sultan of the City of Brass, agrees to oversee the full execution of this plan to ensure Ott’s continued welfare. I. Preliminary Observations and General Overview of Ott’s Condition Ott is a dwarf of gentle disposition, modest ambition, and limited cognitive capability, manifesting primarily in poor memory retention, difficulty with complex tasks, and a tendency toward distraction or impulsivity. Notwithstanding these limitations, Ott has shown a great capacity for loyalty, basic personal hygiene, and sociability, provided he is in a structured and supportive environment. II. Immediate Custodial Responsibilities Upon the event of Drangus and his associates’ demise, the Sultan shall assume responsibility for Ott. The Sultan’s custodial obligations shall include: Notification and Orientation Period A formal notification of Drangus and his associates’ passing shall be made to Ott in a manner he can understand, using clear and simple language. The Sultan’s most trusted court linguist shall be responsible for relaying this information to Ott in the Dwarvish dialect. Ott shall be provided with a physical token representing Drangus to ensure emotional continuity, such as a medallion or ring belonging to his former guardian. Safe and Supportive Living Arrangements Ott shall be housed within the Sultan’s residence, in quarters tailored to his needs. Room Features: Ott’s quarters shall include fire-resistant bedding, basic furnishings, a small chest for personal items, and clear, illustrated signage for room identification. Location: The quarters shall be situated close to the residence’s main hall and close to the Sultan’s guards to ensure security and ease of monitoring. Daily Routine: Ott’s daily routine shall be clearly posted in his quarters in pictorial form, alongside visual reminders of common tasks and daily expectations. III. Establishment of a Support Team To provide Ott with dedicated, round-the-clock care, a small team of caregivers shall be appointed by the Sultan. The support team shall include: Primary Caregiver – Ott’s Companion A trained attendant, familiar with the nuances of Dwarvish customs and capable of basic magical instruction, shall be assigned to provide Ott with companionship, guidance, and assistance with daily living skills. Training Requirements: The Primary Caregiver must be skilled in dwarven cuisine, hygiene assistance, and rudimentary behavioral guidance. Communication Skills: Fluency in both Common and Dwarvish languages, as well as proficiency in nonverbal communication, shall be essential. Auxiliary Caregivers A rotation of two additional assistants shall support the Primary Caregiver during scheduled absences, each possessing at least one year of experience working with individuals of similar cognitive limitations. Auxiliary Caregivers shall assist with personal hygiene, provide mealtime support, and offer companionship during structured leisure activities. Medical Support A healer with expertise in dwarven physiology shall be available for regular health evaluations. Checkups shall occur once per fortnight, with additional visits as needed. Mentor and Skills Instructor A skilled dwarven craftsman or artisan shall be appointed to instruct Ott in basic crafting, focusing on skills to maintain his mental engagement and provide a structured form of occupational therapy. Simple tasks, such as shaping small stones or crafting basic tools, shall be introduced progressively. IV. Emotional and Recreational Support Ott’s emotional and recreational well-being is of paramount importance. The following provisions shall be implemented: Routine Activities and Hobbies Ott shall engage in structured activities designed to stimulate his senses and provide enjoyment without overstimulation. Crafting Sessions: Twice weekly, Ott shall be led through a supervised crafting project, with a focus on repetitive, straightforward tasks to build confidence and skill. Gardening Activities: Ott will have access to the Sultan’s courtyard, where he may engage in supervised gardening or landscaping activities, as working with earth and stone has been shown to soothe and engage him. Social Interaction: Ott shall be encouraged to participate in small group activities with similarly dispositioned individuals within the Sultan’s court, offering both socialization and emotional bonding. Emotional Support Animal An emotional support animal, preferably a small and gentle creature, shall be selected to provide comfort to Ott. The creature’s care and training shall be overseen by a member of the support team. Religious and Cultural Observance Regular observances of dwarven holy days and customs shall be organized for Ott, with an emphasis on familiar songs, simple rituals, and foods. V. Occupational Engagement and Simple Responsibilities Providing Ott with meaningful responsibilities shall enhance his self-worth and independence within his cognitive limits. Assigned Responsibilities Ott shall be given the role of “Assistant Groundskeeper,” a position designed to allow him a sense of purpose without imposing excessive expectations. His tasks shall include: Stone Polishing: Ott shall polish ornamental stones for display within the courtyard and the Sultan’s hall. Watering Gardens: A visual schedule shall remind Ott when to water various garden sections. Basic Tidying: Ott may tidy his quarters daily, under the gentle supervision of the Primary Caregiver. Work Tokens Ott shall receive a small token for each successfully completed task. These tokens can be exchanged for small rewards, such as sweets, craft materials, or brief storytelling sessions. VI. Health and Safety Protocols Given Ott’s vulnerability, strict health and safety protocols are imperative: Monthly Health Evaluations Ott’s physical and mental health shall be assessed monthly by the designated healer, with a focus on monitoring common health concerns for dwarves and his specific needs. Safety Precautions Ott’s quarters shall be fitted with safety measures such as: Non-slip floors and fire-resistant materials. A locked storage for potentially hazardous items. Alarm runes set to alert staff if Ott is in distress or attempts to leave his quarters without supervision. Dietary Plan Ott’s dietary preferences and nutritional needs shall be considered. Meals will consist of simple, nutritious dwarven dishes to maintain his health. Emotional Well-being Monitoring The support team shall monitor Ott’s mood and behavior daily, logging any signs of distress, confusion, or loneliness, which shall be promptly addressed. VII. Succession and Future Planning In the unlikely event that the Sultan is unable to continue overseeing Ott’s care, a designated proxy within the Sultan’s court shall assume responsibility. Pre-Designated Successor The Sultan shall assign a trusted lieutenant within the court as Ott’s secondary guardian, should the Sultan’s leadership be interrupted. Formal Transfer of Responsibility In such a case, all aspects of this care plan, including support personnel, shall be maintained without disruption to ensure Ott’s continuity of care. VIII. Annual Review and Plan Adjustment An annual review of Ott’s progress and care requirements shall be conducted to assess the efficacy of this plan. Assessment of Goals and Objectives The Sultan’s advisors and the support team shall evaluate Ott’s overall well-being, personal development, and satisfaction. Goals shall be adjusted as needed, prioritizing his comfort and personal growth. Family Outreach In the event that any dwarven kin or family connections of Ott are located, they shall be contacted to discuss potential involvement in his life, as well as any historical traditions or personal items that may bring him comfort or aid in his care. Final Report to Plan Executors A comprehensive report documenting Ott’s care shall be prepared by the Primary Caregiver, which the Sultan or his designated successor shall review to ensure the continued appropriateness and adherence to this plan. By following this comprehensive care plan, Ott shall continue to thrive under the Sultan’s guardianship, receiving support in a secure, structured, and enriching environment designed to cater to his unique needs.
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Platser

Samos är en av Egeiska havets mest grönskande öar, och det är just naturen som gör den så lockande för den som vill vandra. Till skillnad från många av de mer karga grekiska öarna är Samos täckt av täta tallskogar, olivlundar och vingårdar som klättrar uppför branta bergssluttningar. Här rinner bäckar genom raviner, vattenfall döljer sig bakom lövverk och utsikterna över det djupblå havet mot den turkiska kusten är ständigt närvarande.
Öns högsta punkt är Kerkis, ett mäktigt bergsmassiv i väster som reser sig till nästan 1 500 meter över havet. Vandringen upp mot toppen är krävande men ger en känsla av äkta vildmark som är sällsynt på en grekisk ö. Längs vägen passerar man gamla kloster hugga in i bergssidan, och utsikten från krönet är hisnande vid klart väder. Det är en vandring som kräver god kondition och rätt utrustning, men som belönar med minnen för livet.
För den som föredrar något lugnare finns det gott om stigar som slingrar sig genom byarna i inlandet. Runt Manolates och Vourliotes i norra delen av ön är terrängen frodig och behaglig, med välmarkerade leder som leder förbi terrassodlingar och gamla stenbroar. Dessa byar är i sig värda ett besök, med sina smala gränder, traditionella kafeer och den varma stämning som råder när det inte är högsäsong.
Pythagorion och området kring det antika Heraion i söder erbjuder en annan typ av vandring, mer historiskt förankrad, där man rör sig i en landskap format av årtusenden av mänsklig närvaro. Den gamla vattenledningen som byggdes under antiken, Eupalinos tunnel, är ett av de tekniska underverk som fortfarande går att besöka i området.
Bästa tid att vandra på Samos är april, maj och juni, då naturen är som grönast och temperaturen ännu inte nått sin sommarhetta. September och oktober är också utmärkta månader, när turistströmmen ebbat ut och ljuset över havet fått en varm, gyllene ton. Under juli och augusti kan värmens påverka vandringen påtagligt, särskilt på mer exponerade sträckor.
Samos är också en ö med en rik vinkultur, och det är ingen nackdel att avslutas dagens vandring med ett glas lokal muscat i skuggan av en taverna. Kombinationen av natur, historia och genuint grekiskt värdskap gör Samos till ett resmål som tilltalar vandrare som vill ha mer än bara markerade spår, utan en hel upplevelse av en ö med karaktär och djup.
När det gäller var man ska bo beror det mycket på vilka delar av ön man vill utforska, men några orter sticker ut som särskilt lämpliga baser för den aktive vandraren.
Karlovasi i nordväst är ett utmärkt utgångsläge för den som har siktet inställt på Kerkismassivet. Det är öns näst största stad och har ett avslappnat, lokalt präglat liv med bra utbud av restauranger och boenden utan att vara överdrivet turistifierad. Härifrån är det kort väg till de stigar som leder upp mot berget, och man kan enkelt kombinera vandringar i olika riktningar under en och samma vistelse. Karlovasi har också en liten hamn med ett eget lugn och en gammaldags charm som passar den som vill bo mitt i det genuina ölivet.
Längre österut, i de böljande kullarna ovanför norra kusten, ligger de pittoreska byarna Manolates och Vourliotes på ett sådant sätt att de i sig fungerar som naturliga startpunkter för dagsvandringarna i skogsterrängen. Att hyra ett litet pensionat eller ett traditionellt stenhus i eller nära dessa byar ger en omedelbar känsla av att vara en del av landskapet snarare än en besökare utifrån. Stämningen är stilla och eftertänksam, och man vaknar upp till fågelsång och doften av eukalyptus snarare än mopedbuller och solstolsrassel.
Den som vill ha tillgång till hela öns vandringsnät på ett mer centralt sätt kan med fördel välja att bo i Pythagorion eller i närheten av Chora, öns administrativa centrum. Därifrån är det relativt enkelt att ta sig till både södra och norra delar av ön med bil, och utbudet av boende är större och mer varierat. Det passar särskilt den som reser med familj eller föredrar bekvämligheten av ett välutrustat hotell med pool att återvända till efter en lång dag i terrängen.
Oavsett var man väljer att slå läger är det en klar fördel att hyra bil under vandringssemestern på Samos. Öns kollektivtrafik är begränsad, och många av de mest belönande startpunkterna för vandringarna ligger på ställen dit det är svårt att ta sig utan eget fordon. Med bil öppnar sig hela ön och man kan på ett flexibelt sätt anpassa varje dags vandring efter väder, humör och energinivå, vilket i slutändan gör hela upplevelsen både friare och rikare.