Inbetweeners Part 5- Source Material: Rooms Document

Below is a raw copy of the document I referenced for the rooms in the initial part of the campaign. It lasted up until the players had to flee the Protectors of the Weave and head to Sigil. Note that over time some of the descriptions changed as players interacted with them, as I added notes, or deleted content that was no longer relevant so there is a good chance there is a lot of info that was lost to time. By the same token, there are several rooms that were never fully developed or accessed. Just rough sketches. Notably, the exile's hideout and holiday surprise were never accessed. Of course, there are other rooms that may have been played out differently than they were designed. The map is not the territory, and for pacing, narrative efficacy, etc. I definitely made some ad-hoc changes on the fly. Still, it's a useful tool to get a sense of the early parts of the campaign.

The list at the end were more a brainstorm of room ideas that were never fully developed. Also, Rooms 38-46 were added later by the Lady of Pain, specifically to test the players. The colors are not included in this file, but you can probably guess based on the content of the room the level of threat it had in store. Also, upon reviewing this document again, I realize a lot of these notes are bare bones. I improvised a lot of the content on the fly. Like for example, when I started role playing the king in the Throne Room, I decided he was... a simpleton, and his advisor was actually running things behind the scenes. I did make a note for this one. I may make separate posts elaborating on a few of these rooms if I can remember the content/feel inspired to do so.

Lastly, there are several characters, ideas, and plot threads presented here that grew into important elements of the overall campaign. Arkanos, Mobius Torrent, Zariel, the Judgement of Torm, etc all became major players as the narrative progressed. It has been fun for me to look back and remember where these things began. Anyway, I'll leave this here for anyone to peruse if they so like. I wonder if my players will find this document....

________________ Room Mechanics

Each space the characters enter is considered a room. They pass through portals, but cannot be half in one room and half in the other. Existence in a room is binary. Sometimes door will plop them in the center of a room. Characters cannot leave room outside of portals no matter how hard they try.

If a room is destroyed, the portals may persist in some form (like a burned, collapsed doorway). Otherwise, it can prune the entire branch.

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Room 1- The Grey Room

The room is a perfect square, its walls made of smooth, cold stone that seems to absorb light and sound, making everything feel slightly muted. There are no visible light sources but you are able to see, as if the entire room is cast in twilight. In the center of the room is a large iron chest with no top.

Each of the four walls has a single door, each distinctly different from the others:

Northern Door: This door is made of dark, weathered wood, bound with heavy iron bands that are rusted with age. The door has a faint green hue to it.

Eastern Door: The eastern door stands out with its intricate design of interwoven silver and gold, forming a complex pattern of celestial symbols and stars. It seems almost to shimmer in the dim light, and there is a palpable sense of magic emanating from it. A faint, melodic hum can be heard when you get close, like the distant sound of a lullaby. This door has a vibrant, almost blinding red hue.

Southern Door: This door is the simplest of all, made of plain, sturdy oak. It has no adornments except for a large, iron ring handle. There are noticeable scratches and dents, suggesting it has been used frequently. A faint smell of earth and dampness wafts from it, giving the impression that it might lead to an underground passage or a cellar.The door has a faint green hue

Western Door: The door made of crystal is a breathtaking marvel, almost seeming to be a piece of art rather than a mere entryway. It stands tall and proud, crafted entirely from a single, immense slab of clear crystal that catches and refracts the dim light in the room, casting a myriad of colors and dancing reflections across the grey walls and floor. This door has a rich, violet hue.

Northern Door- Tavern Cellar (Room 2) Southern Door- Hallway (Room 9) Eastern Door- Zariel’s War Room (Room 27) Western Door- The Anytemple (Room 26)

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Room 2- The Tavern Cellar

Boarded up, they scared it.

You enter through a dirty, tarnished mirror in the corner. You are immediately greeted by a cool, damp air that carries the earthy scent of aged wood and musty stone. The dim light from the flickering lanterns mounted on the walls reveals a cozy, if somewhat cluttered, cellar.

The cellar is a spacious room with low, arched ceilings supported by thick wooden beams, darkened and weathered with age. The walls are constructed of rough-hewn stone, their surfaces cool and slightly damp to the touch. There is a worn staircase leading to a door at the top of the stairs. There is also a door that leads to a secondary basement chamber.

Hidden: If characters pass an investigation check (15) they find a hatch in the floor underneath a crate of potatoes.

Shelves line the walls, laden with rows of barrels and bottles, mostly of common ales and wine. The wooden barrels, marked with various tavern emblems and brewing dates, emanate a rich aroma of fermented grains and hops, mingling with the sharper scents of aged wines and potent liquors. Dust motes float lazily in the air, illuminated by the occasional shaft of light that sneaks through the small, barred windows high up on the walls.

In one corner, sacks of flour, potatoes, and other dry goods are piled neatly, while crates of fresh produce are stacked in another, each labeled with the names of local farms and suppliers. A large, wooden table dominates the center of the room, its surface scarred with knife marks and stained from years of use. It serves as a workspace for the tavern's staff to prepare ingredients and manage the inventory.

A small, iron stove sits against one wall, providing both warmth and a means to cook simple meals or heat water. Nearby, a set of hooks holds various tools and implements: a brass-tipped tasting rod for sampling barrels, a sturdy mallet for tapping casks, and a well-worn ledger tracking the stock and its turnover.

In the corner of the cellar is a large iron cage. Locked inside is clearly the tavern’s more valuable inventory, more expensive vintages of wine, aged cheeses, and spices/ingredients that the owner wouldn’t want a cook or porter to pocket.

The lock is solid, DC of 20. If the tavern owner comes downstairs he has a key

Encounters:

Tavern Owner- Veteran Stat Block

Cook- Commoner, +5 HP Bartender- Warrior Stablock Bouncer-Guard Statblock

Vagrant- Bandit statblock

Mirror- Grey Room (Room 1) Door at Top of Stairs- Throne Room (Room 4) Basement Door- Rats Nest (Room 3) Hidden Hatch- Labyrinth (Room 15)

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Room 3- Rats Nest

You enter a dark, dank room that exudes an aura of filth and decay. The floor is uneven and slick, covered in a grimy mixture of mud, refuse, and the remains of long-dead creatures.

In the corner of the room is a chaotic tangle of shredded fabric, gnawed bones, and scavenged debris, all woven together to create a makeshift den. The dire rats have burrowed into the walls, creating a network of tunnels and small chambers within the stone. These tunnels are just wide enough for the bloated, monstrous rats to scurry through, their rough surfaces marked by deep claw marks and the occasional tuft of coarse fur.

Scattered around the main nest are the remnants of the dire rats' scavenging. Broken crates and barrels, their contents long since pilfered, lie in disarray, alongside discarded pieces of armor and rusted weapons, evidence of unfortunate adventurers who met their end in this foul place. The bones of these victims, cracked and gnawed, are piled haphazardly, some still bearing the tattered remnants of clothing and gear.

In the center of the nest, a particularly large and menacing dire rat stands guard, its beady eyes gleaming with a malevolent intelligence. Its fur is matted and patchy, revealing scars from countless battles, and its long, scaly tail twitches with a nervous energy. Around it, smaller dire rats skitter about, their sharp teeth chattering as they communicate in a series of high-pitched squeaks and growls.

The walls of the alcove are slick with a foul-smelling slime, and here and there, patches of mold and fungus thrive in the damp, dark environment. The faint sound of dripping water echoes through the space, punctuated by the occasional scurrying of unseen creatures in the shadows.

Encounters- 1-3 Dire Rats, more show up if you wait. Up to 20 in total. Also occasional rat swarms Loot- Investigation check can yield valuables mixed in. Low check can lead to getting filth disease.

Sewer Grate- The Tavern Cellar (Room 2) Gap in the Crumbling Wall- The Market (Room 5) Hidden Hatch (in filth)– Spooky Well (Room 11)

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Room 4- Throne Room

Characters enter a grand, imposing hall with high vaulted ceilings and walls adorned with rich tapestries and banners depicting the realm's history and heraldry. The focal point is a magnificent throne. Large, ornate chandeliers illuminate the room, casting a regal glow over the polished marble or stone floors. The air is thick with a sense of authority and reverence, amplified by the presence of elite guards standing vigil. This space is designed to awe visitors, showcasing the ruler's power and the kingdom's wealth, while also serving as the center of political and ceremonial activities.

King may or may not be present. Usually nobles, guards, etc may be around along with people seeking audience with the king.

Mercenaries can come on Wednesdays

-King may be interested in using the group if he learns their true nature. Essentially they can be executioners who face no blowback

Encounters: Guards (1d6 + 3 present, more can be called, mixture of elite and normal)

Elite: https://www.5esrd.com/database/creature/guard-elite/

Normal: https://roll20.net/compendium/dnd5e/Guard#content

King may have an elite singular defender: https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Royal_Guard_(5e_Creature)

Entrance Doors- Tavern Cellar (Room 2) Guard Barracks Door- Parlor (Room 7) Door Behind the Throne- Stockroom (Room 29)

The king has since been removed from the throne room on account of the security threat of random creatures teleporting in and out. However, it is revealed that the king is more of a puppet and his top advisor, Zephes, really runs the show. She was potentially interested in monetary gain from the group using the room as a means of travel.

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1/26/2025- The group, wherever they are, receive an alarm in their minds to return to the grey room immediately. He informs the group that Ambrosius has gone rogue and the far realm energies have severed his connection from the interloper. He asks the group to go immediately deal with this, and also implies that Melrakki may be in danger. The group arrives to find the following:

-The throne room is torn apart with blood, gore, carnage and destruction. Several guards lay slain, some from being eviscerated by claws, others from magic spells. Melraki lays in the corner, cut open and not moving in a pool of her own blood. In the center of the room, a wild eyed, crazed Ambrosius speaks rapidly in an unidentifiable language, scrawling symbology on the walls in blood. He is injured from battle, with a sword still sticking out of him and a few arrows but seems utterly unphased. Battle immediately ensues.

Ambrosius Addercap: 63 HP

When Ambrosius gets low, worms start to peer out from his wounds. On death, a full HP Star Spawned Larva Mage bursts from his flesh. The group gets one round of actions against it. May also summon other starspawn creatures like the starspawn mangler and starspawn grue .

If it's only three players this is a very overleveled opponent so to balance- The Interloper will cast foresight on the group (a massive advantage) but it will dispel if they stray from their mission for too long.

Also, after first round of Star Spawned Larva battle, a Royal Guard shows up, having secured the king he is here to deal with the threat. (essentially will serve as a damage sponge).

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Room 5- Market

a bustling market with stalls is a vibrant and chaotic scene filled with a cacophony of sounds and a myriad of colors. Stalls brimming with goods line the cobblestone streets, their canopies fluttering in the breeze. Merchants shout out their wares, ranging from fresh produce, exotic spices, and finely crafted weapons to mysterious potions and enchanted trinkets. The air is filled with the aromas of sizzling street food, fragrant flowers, and the occasional waft of incense. Shoppers, from curious children to seasoned adventurers, haggle animatedly with vendors, while street performers and pickpockets alike weave through the crowd. The market is alive with energy, a microcosm of the city's diversity and a hub for both commerce and social interaction.

Many different NPCs are possible here.

Vendors:

-Prepared foods -Alcohol -Produce -Meat -Clothing -Jewelry -Potions -Odds and Ends -Weapons -Armor -Magical Artifacts -Curiosities -Familiars -Automatons

Spider Lady- A strange old woman with a tangled mess of hair, large eyes, a hunched body who moves more like an animal than a person. Her stall is in the corner of the market and is stuffed to the brim with eccentricities, magical items, etc. Everything is a bit off though and nothing is organized. She seems to live at the stall, and the town guard seems to avoid her. It’s clear that many of her valuable items are not under lock and key and she wouldn’t notice if they are gone, yet the pick pockets and thieves seem to keep their distance. In fact, no one seems to come to shop for her except newcomers or the desperate. She has a wide array of items, many cursed, and seems to have the ability to get virtually anything the party needs… in some form or another.

Sold Uzo the cursed bow

Western Gate- Rats Nest (Room 3) Southern Gate- Forest Grove (Room 6) The Abandon Stall- Haunted Dining Room (Room 8) Refuse Trough- Infernal Oven (Room 12) forest grove __________________________________________________________________

Room 6- Forest Grove

Forest creatures reside here. Thick trees. If you try to go too far in one direction you end up on the other side.

1-5 Dryads are initially present, and are curious and friendly so long as the players don’t harm the forest. If the players kill the Dryads or harm the trees, a guardian Treant will rise up and attack. Forest elves and gnomes may also pass through. They will cast entangle first and foremost to block players’ escape.

Hollowed Tree- Market (Room 5) Hole- Vegetable Patch (Room 13) Climb Tree- Toy Room (Room 22) Pond- Study (Room 23)

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Room 7- Parlor

A noble family's room for entertaining. Roll 1d6:

1-2 House is Empty 3- Housekeeper is present 4- Family is present 5- Family has friends over 6- Seance is being performed

The family themselves don’t pose any threat but they will call in guards. Valuables are whatever would be expected by a reasonably wealthy noble family and there is a +1 magical saber above the fireplace locked in a case.

Back Door- Throne Room (Room 4) Front Door- Orc Cave (Room 14) Fireplace- Brothel (Room 24)

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Room 8- Haunted Dining Room

Burned Down by players. If they come at night the shadows may still attack, but during the day they won’t. Doors are burned and on the ground but still function. Otherwise they are on the grounds of the Manor but if they try to leave the husk of the burned building they will loop.

This large, formal dining room is dimly lit by moonlight. It has been abandon for years, cobwebs cover most surfaces along with a thick layer of dust. Seated at the table are the desiccated skeletons of whoever had their last meal at this table.

*Investigation, Perception or Nature Check 15 (other checks possible 2) discover that the wine at the table is poisoned, and that is what seemed to kill the patrons. One however, is on the floor next to an old stain, it appears they did not drink the poison and had their throat cut instead.

Investigation Check can find a bottle of the poison, it is: Wyvern Poison (Injury): This poison must be harvested from a dead or incapacitated wyvern. A creature subjected to this poison must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw, taking 24 (7d6) poison damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

There are 14 skeletons total. They will come to life, 1-3 at a time the longer the group remains in this room.

Treasure: Candle holders, silverware, art, etc can all be scavenged but the longer the players spend the more undead things that will attack.

After a few skeletons are killed, Shadows will begin to appear from the walls as well.

Servants Door- Market (Room 5) Kitchen Door- Vegetable Patch (Room 13) Master’s Door- Desecrated Temple (Room 36) ________________________________________________________________

Room 9- Hallway

A long, straight, nondescript hallway. The walls are made of hewn stone and there are torches lighting the way. There are doors on either side.

This hallway is generally empty, but if characters make a short rest there there is a 1/10 chance something shows up. If they take a long rest, this becomes a ½ chance. Roll for an appropriate level encounter.

Southern Door- The Grey Room (Room 1) Northern Door- Crab Shack (Room 10)

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Room 10- Crab Shack

A dilapidated structure, weathered by years of salt, wind, and neglect. Its once vibrant paint is now peeling and faded, revealing the gray, splintered wood beneath. The roof sags under the weight of accumulated debris, and broken windows gape like empty eye sockets. Inside, the air is thick with the smell of brine and decay, and the floor is strewn with the remnants of a life left behind: rusted crab traps, brittle nets, and scattered, yellowed charts. In the corner, slumped in a chair, is the skeletal remains of a fisherman, his bony fingers still clutching a tarnished locket. The shack creaks and groans with each gust of wind, a haunting reminder of the sea’s relentless, reclaiming power.

-abandon crab shack by the ocean. Skeleton of fisherman in the shack. Another skeleton or two can be found on the beach with successful search or investigation check

-crabs will come out of the water and attack. The more commotion the group makes the more that come. Successful stealth check will avoid detection.

-Encounters: Giant Crabs -Loot: Fishing Gear, potentially some coins if searched. Fermented crab meat in cans

Interior Door- Hallway Ocean- Courtyard

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Room 11- Spooky Well

At the bottom of a well, the glimmer of moonlight is the only thing that lights the inside. There is a partially decomposed body with claw marks. It’s haunted. Scale type of undead to party level:

1- Zombie 2- Skeleton 3- Ghoul 4- Wight 5- Wraith 6- Revenant 7- Banshee

Probably go with Revenant since there is an easy escape route. If it is defeated, within 24 hours it will return when the players reenter the well, having possessed an unwilling host and throws itself into the well to attack them again. If they are able to figure out the story, a girl in the town had a relationship with a boy with whom the family had a feud due to different sects of the same religion. She was pregnant and they opted to drown her in the well to make it look like an accident. She broke her neck but didn’t die right away, and in her last thoughts reached out for anything to give her vengeance. The revenant took control and gave it to her, but then bound her to the well.

It is tight quarters in the well (maybe 15 feet in diameter) so combat will be tricky. Swimming to the bottom is an easy escape, but to climb to the top they need to make an athletics or acrobatics check.

Bottom of Well- Rats Nest (Room 3) Top of Well- Graveyard (Room 28)

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Room 12- Infernal Oven

The players find themselves in a sealed chamber and immediately feel searing heat. Red light emanates from below as they stand on a grate and find themselves being cooked alive. There is a chute in the ceiling from which corpses fall to be incinerated.

-take 1d6 fire damage per turn for first 3 rounds, then as oven heats up the damage will rise to 2d6. (maybe con save for half)

-If players survive 3 rounds a flameskull will emerge from the ashes and attack them.

-ash grate has inflammable loot

To escape through oven grate, need high strength check or lockpick To escape through body hatch, need to climb up, but there is no easy way to do it. Also bodies periodically drop down and metal is red hot.

Body Hatch- Market (Room 5) Oven Grate- Elysian Field (Room 25)

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Room 13- Vegetable Patch

A large, fenced in vegetable patch near some quaint homes. No real threats, only loot is vegetables. Someone might come by to the garden and be confused why you are there. If you cause enough chaos a town guard may come to investigate.

Gate- Haunted Dining Room (Room 8) Overturned Wagon- Forest Grove (Room 6)

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Room 14- Orc Cave

Ideas: https://www.ragingswanpress.com/swan-blog/orc-caves

2d6 Orcs in the chamber. More can come along with Orc War Chief.

Murky Black Pool- Parlor (Room 7) Tunnel- Pumpkin Patch (Room 35)

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Room 15- Labyrinth

A sinister labyrinth of supernatural origin. The party doesn’t appear in the door they came through, instead finding themselves in the middle of a hallway with twists and turns.

Any traps successfully triggered will draw a minotaur within in a turn.

Each turn spent in the Labyrinth roll 1d20

1-10: No encounters 11: Spiked Pit Trap (Perception DC 15/Dex Save 15- 2d10 Damage) 12: Clamp Trap (Perception DC 15/Dex Save 15- 2d6 Damage and immobilized unless they make a strength check DC 20 to break free) 13: Paralysis Ward (Perception DC 15/Con Save 15- failure they are paralyzed for 1 minute) 14: Hail of Darts (melee attack, 1d20 damage, +8 melee attack, Perception 20) 15: Undead Encounter 16: Carrion Crawler: https://5e.tools/bestiary/carrion-crawler-mm.html 17: Manticore: https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16951-manticore 18: Minotaur 19; 2 Minotaurs 20: Treasure (1d20 x 100 in gems and gold, +1d6 – 2 magic items)

https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16958-minotaur

To find the door out, you must make a survival or investigation check DC 25 x 3 to find a way out. If acting as a group they can take the highest roll. A natural 20 will instantly succeed. Each roll represents getting closer to finding an exit

Exit: Back to Tavern Cellar

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Room 16- Courtyard

Candlestead University

Players have interacted with campus authorities. They have cordoned off this area and are now actively monitoring it with a member of the Order of the Weave having arrived and taken interest. They took a zombie from the necromantic school and now the school is expecting them to return with information. Right now use Archmage template for order of the weave member until I decide otherwise.

A serene courtyard with a fountain, and gardens. Part of a monastery campus. Students mostly ignore the party, but if they raise a ruckus a magical police force may investigate.

Magic Guard https://www.worldanvil.com/block/1367659

Magic Guard Captain https://www.rolledandtold.com/2018/11/28/spell-guard-mage/

Fountain- Crab Shack Trellised Gate- Dog House (17)

_________________________________________________________ Room 17- Dog House

1d6 Mastiffs call this place home. Animal handling (DC 15) to avoid them getting territorial.

Hole- Courtyard Climb over Fence- Ship Cabin

_________________________________________________________ Room 18- Ship Cabin

A pirate ship, cabin below the main deck. There is a hall below it. Currently the pirates think the section of the ship is haunted and have blocked it off, but a hedge mage pirate is investigating.

Up the Stairs- Dog House Down the stairs- Circus

_________________________________________________________ Room 19- Circustavern

Time to perform or face an angry crowd! (Jackalweres, Gnolls, Hobgoblins). A raiding army of beastial humanoids had conquered the area and some deserted to go to the circus for entertainment. Their superior officers arrived and attcaked the deserters, causing the tent to collapse.

Into the Barrel- Ship Cabin Leave the Arena- Bakery _________________________________________________________ Room 20- Bakery

An ordinary bakery in a mid-sized town (Beregost) along the Sword Coast.

Front Door- Circus Back Door- Battlefield _______________________________________________________

Room 21- Battlefield

You find yourself on a battlefield

-Side thinks you are mercenaries, will send you into the fray -Must fight your way to the other side to get to next flag -Must decide each side, I’m thinking beastial humanoids vs high elves

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Room 22- Toy Room

A massive room, with the walls painted like a sky with clouds. A large planetary mobile hangs from the ceiling. Toys of all shapes and sizes litter the room. If you wait around long enough, the owner of these toys, a young cloud giant will enter. He has a pet dragon.

Also, some of the toys are automatons.

-Goal is to try not to get him to yell for his Dad. The baby silver dragon is fiercely defensive of his ward

The group arrived when the young cloud giant was sleeping, the toy room is also a naptime room for him. The Wyrmling silver dragon is perched on a brass stand and is also asleep, but much more easy to rouse.

Father (Mobius Torrent) is a Cloud Giant who ended up the head of a major economic enterprise. He became fabulously wealthy, alienating him from his fellow cloud giants, but gaining him many sycophants. He has a massive flying manor in the elemental plane of air. He dotes on his baby son to excess, the mother left in the middle of the night and he has been unable to find her since (and would like help in locating). His business was providing insurance for excursions into the lower planes since he could frequently find ways to avoid paying out. From there he diversified into automatons, flying ships, and other technology that put him into close business relations with Mechanus. His connections could bring the Protectors of the Weave in under the right circumstances.

Mobius is distrusting of most sentient subjects so many of his guards and servants are automatons and elementals. However, a few high elves and a Djinni are part of his retinue. Can also summon a cloud giant if things get dicey.

Silver Dragon (Tyfin Elderson XIV)– This baby dragon was sold into a contract soon after birth. In return for it serving dutifully, its parents get a payment from Mobius each moon and some wealth is set aside for Tyfin’s treasure hoard. It is a safe, stable way for a dragon to build a hoard in its youth, sort of like a foreign exchange program. He is fiercely protective of Nimbus, but must ultimately defer to Nimbus.

Wife: Celeste- Whitewind

Encounters- Adult Cloud Giant, Silver Dragon Wyrmling, child cloud giant (stats/4), Modrons as toys, Djinni

Mobius Torrent: Cloud Giant Stats with 20 Int. Has Amulet of Deflection (AC 19) and Ring of Instant Heal- Will cast Cure wounds at level 3 (3d8 + 10) if he takes serious damage. 5 charges remain. Weapons: Electric Hand Cannon (+13 to Hit, 6d6 Ballistic Damage + 6d6 Shocking Damage (42), Giant’s Carving Knife (+1)– +13 to hit, 3d8 + 9 dmg and Crit (19-20) magic with plus one and keen

Nimbus (baby cloud giant): 50 hp, divide other stats appropriately.

Nimbus will want the player characters to be his toys and fight his other toys. If they keep Nimbus happy he may not call his Dad.

https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Mist_Golem_(5e_Creature)

https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/17014-silver-dragon-wyrmling

https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16827-cloud-giant

https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16842-djinni

Ceiling Mobile- Forest Grove (Room 6) It is really high up so they will need to figure out a way to get back up.

Quest- Mobius’s wife disappeared three years ago. He has spent inordinate amounts of wealth trying to locate her, but everyone he has employed has failed. Even his connections in Mechanus were of no avail. If the players use Scry turbocharged by the interloper, or use other means to locate her they get but one word, Mirthardir.

Celeste-Whitewind was disgusted by her husband's wealth and what he had become, but she still loved him and her son. Unable to stomach the life he had built, she sought to escape but knew there was no corner of the multiverse he wouldn’t be able to find her with his resources. A mystic from her tribe spoke of a place in an ancient, forgotten plane where giants and giantkin could live in peace. She squirreled away enough wealth to pay a guide to take her there. In a forgotten tower in Mirthardir this is a portal to a demiplane where giants live in peace. It is almost impossible to locate. ____________________________________________________

Room 23- Study

A wizard's study. Magical items are present, but they are trapped. Also, better hope the wizard doesn’t show up.

Wizard Stats: https://www.5esrd.com/gamemastering/monsters-foes/npc/spellcasters/npc-mage/

Wizard fed to the Interloper, study is now empty but items are still trapped.

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Room 24- Brothel

A brothel run by a Cambion. Two of the working ladies are actually Succubi, the remainder are normal. Fiendish Gnolls present to handle unruly Johns. 1 Gnoll Fang of Yeenogh, 5 regular gnolls.

Changing Room Door- Parlor (room 7) Under the Bed- Mineshaft (room 36)

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Room 25- Elysian Field

Paradise. Heals party over time of all status effects. No doors or portals, but a lantern archon will teleport the group to any area they have previously visited that doesn’t have magical protection.

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Room 26- The Anytemple

You enter a temple to a random god. Each time the players enter, it is a different god, but so long as one player remains it stays that god. For example, it may be a temple to Mystra one time and a temple to Bane another.

-Will encounter a priest or high level religious person, as well as adherents and then normal people who would find reason to visit the temple.

-In order to enter through the purple door, a sufficient religious offering must be made. This will influence the temple that spawns the first time, after that it is random.

If players try to open the door without an offering they will hear the following message:

To walk through this most sacred of portals you must be willing to surrender that which is precious to the spirit.

If they walk with a favor to a particular God, like Torm’s relic it will open to that specific temple.

Front Door- Grey Room (Room 1) Other Openings- Misc, vary each time

The group has done a great service to Torm so they will go to his temple first if the hold his relic. This will be the “Temple of Everlasting Justice”

The group visited the Temple of Torm, they have been well received for cleansing the other temple of infernal corruption. They are not aware of the sacrifice of the knight Orion. If the group visits again, they may have more quests/information for them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

If the group goes through the Anytemple door with the symbol of Torm now, they will not go to his primary temple on the material plane as they anticipated. Instead, they will find:

The chamber is vast, hewn from ancient stone with walls lined by torches that do not seem to flicker, emit smoke or generate heat. The floor is worn smooth from countless years of tread, with intricate symbols carved into the rock. Towering along the walls are racks and displays of gleaming weapons—swords, axes, spears, and hammers—each meticulously crafted and inscribed with prunes. The weapons range from simple, sturdy iron blades to gilded, rune-covered relics that hum with latent divine power.

Against one wall stands a collection of shimmering shields and breastplates emblazoned with sacred iconography: radiant suns, crossed swords, and the symbols of various crusader orders. Nearby, smaller alcoves contain specialized gear, such as silver-tipped arrows, vials of holy water, relics said to repel the undead, and crystals pulsing with holy light.

In the center of the chamber is a massive stone table where paladins gather planning their crusade in hushed, fervent tones. Maps of the realms, marked with hotspots of evil activity, lie spread across it. A older man of average size with a large scar across his face regards the group, seemingly expecting them.

Taric Hellbane is gruff, tired, cynical, but competent, devoted and deadly. He leads an order called the Shadow of Torm. Fed up with the moral equivalent of red tape, this order found that fiends, undead and evil doers continued to gain ground while those who sought to face them were bound by moral laws. Above all else, they seek to purge the material plane of fiendish and undead influence, and take a machiavellian approach to achieve such ends. For centuries the order was exiled by the church of Torm, viewed as heretical zealots. However, in the past several decades, an uptick in fiendish activity on the material plane has led to a thawing, and recently a truce. The Temple of Torm does not officially work with the Shadow, but unofficially they are in close coordination, providing intel, capital resources and soldiers. The groups purging of the devils in the Temple and slaying of the dancing Vrock has gained their attention. They managed to manipulate the portal to that the group would appear here. As atypical adjuncts, the group fits more in the purview of the Shadow. He seeks to exploit their ability to walk between places to take the fight to the enemy. In return he promises glory, wealth and, if the group desires it, possibly resurrection of valuable asset.s

-If the group sides with Taric, he will see what he can do about bringing Cervi back but they will need to further prove their worth. Purging undead or fiends of sufficient worth should do the trick.

Taric has cleared the war room out in case it is compromised by Zariel, but will meet with the group there and leave instructions, items and bounty rewards.

Taric will meet the group 1 day later with a quest. The Shadow has decided they should strike at Zariel if they have the chance. However, attacking her in Hell would be suicide, so instead they want the group to lure her to a location in their travels where an ambush can be set up. If it is off plane it will need Taric’s approval. They will plant a beacon and the Shadow will set up an ambush. However, any assistance or allies the group can bring will be most helpful as this could be a suicide mission. The group then needs to convince Zariel to travel with them.

with weapons and equipment:

-Immovable Rod -Ring of Toughness: +2 Con, +1 Natural Armor -Needle: Rapier 1d8 + 1, crits on 18-20 -Wizard’s Staff: 1d6 + 2, +2 to Spell Attacks and +2 to Spell Save DC -Cloak of Protection: +1 AC, +1 Saving Throws -Punishing Cudgel: 1d6 + 2 magic weapon. -Scholar’s Cap: +2 Wis, +2 Int -Heated Dagger: 1d4 + 1 + 1d6 fire damage -Contenders Headband: +2 Str, +2 Dex -Longbow of Fury: 1d8 + 1 magic weapon, once per day can launch 1d6 extra attacks. -Magic Chainmail + 2, AC 18, needs str 13 to wear and disadvantage on stealth -6 potions of healing (2d4 + 2) -2 potions of cure disease -2 antidote potions

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Room 27- Zariel’s War Room

Walking through this door is a big mistake.

The very air thrums with malevolent energy. The room is dominated by a massive obsidian table, etched with arcane symbols and surrounded by high-backed, crimson chairs. The walls are lined with maps of mortal and infernal territories, marked with strategic points and stained with blood. Dim, flickering flames in sconces cast an eerie red glow, illuminating racks of wicked, barbed weapons and trophies of unholy conflicts. The atmosphere is thick with the scent of brimstone and the echo of infernal whispers. A large window overlooks a burning hellscape, the glass made of a flexible, translucent obsidian that seems to flow like liquid. Everything is hot to the touch and the only colors that seem to stand out are blood red, black and yellow of flames.

At the table are two large, winged creatures with massive horns pouring over battlefield maps. Overseeing them is an even larger, hulking beast covered in interlocking armored plates with a whiplike tail, mammoth wings that can surround its entire body, and a terrifying head that seems infernal and draconic, with fangs and gleaming yellow-red eyes. Off to the side is an insectlike monster seemingly made of ice and metal and two beings clad in jet black armor with crimson hawk like wings, twistedly beautiful faces and horns. All turn their heads, surprised to see the group as a fear and panic fills each of your hearts like you have never felt before in your life.

Note- If PCs aren’t paralyzed with fear they get a free action since they are surprising the devils. If not, the Pit Fiend will immediately cast hold monster on the group, it has the ability to target the entire group with a modified version fo the spell.

The players enter the War Room of Zariel, the fallen angel and master of Avernus, the highest layer of Hell. The room is as infernal as it gets, but coated with maps, displays, etc all indicating strategies. Zariel will not be here, but her generals and tacticians will be. Traps will immediately render the door used to enter inaccessible, and if the characters are to survive they will need to negotiate/persuade. They will probably incapacitate the characters and take them to the “interrogation chambers” but after finding they do not go through the door will be more cautious.

2 Erinyes, 2 Horned Devils, 1 Iced Devil, 1 Pit Fiend currently in attendance along with a group of Chain Devils in the next room that can be called in on a moments notice. If the group manages to talk them out of being killed, they will call in Zariel to determine how the incursion was possible. She will not be pleased.

The one thing the group has going for them is that the citadel is warded against teleportation. Zariel herself teleports outside of it and flies in, so the groups ability to enter the warroom so freely will be of great interest to her.

If the group convinces Zariel to go with them and she speaks with the Interloper, they will forge an agreement. She will provide the interloper with an endless stream of “test subjects”. Shie will leave with an armful of black amulets and for now on a steady stream of “subjects” will pour from Hell to the grey room. She may betray the Interloper for the Order if they provide an enticing enough offer. Her only goal is to maintain her station in Hell and gain an advantage in the Blood War.

-Zariel has the ability to smuggle Cervi’s soul out of heaven, if so inclined.

Zariel’s Stats: https://www.belloflostsouls.net/2018/05/dd-check-out-zariel-from-mordenkainens-tome-of-foes.html

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Room 28- Graveyard

chilling expanse shrouded in perpetual twilight, where twisted, ancient trees cast eerie shadows over crumbling tombstones and mausoleums. A thick mist clings to the ground, swirling around weathered statues of mournful angels and grim gargoyles. The air is heavy with the scent of damp earth and decay, and an unnatural silence pervades, broken only by the occasional rustle of unseen creatures. Flickering ghostly lights and the faint whispers of restless spirits hint at the presence of the undead. The oppressive atmosphere is suffused with a palpable sense of dread.

-NOTE: God of Death unhappy they have defied death, give portal to endless battle with undead.

Open Grave- Spooky Well Overturned Coffin- Demented Choir Crypt- Sanitarium

__________________________________________________________________________ Room 29- Stockroom

This is the stockroom for a prosperous store. Randomly generate what type of store it is.

Weapons Armor Groceries Potions Magical Curiosities Animal Handling Equipment

Back Door- Throne Room Front Door- Arena (Room 30)

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Room 30- Arena

The door from the stock room grows vibrant purple. The only thing required to pass through it is a request as to the challenge that the entrant wishes to face. They enter a coliseum with an appropriately leveled opponent. The rewards are commensurate. However, every successive entrance will require a more dangerous opponent (no farming)

The arena is a massive stadium, far larger than any ever conceived on the material plane. It is nestled inside Sigil, the capital of the Outlands and crossroads of the multiverse. Unlike the rest of the city which is filled with a constant smog, the Arena is clear and well lit through magic. An intrepid Mercane somehow managed to make a deal with the Lady of Pain and survive. The Arena will run 24/7, and the vast majority of the proceeds go into Sigils coffers. However, the truth is the arena runs at a loss in coin, but makes up for it by harvesting the souls of any who are slain in the Arena. The Arena has constant battles to the death, and this becomes logistically difficult to fulfill the so the Arena organization has started to seek willing participants from throughout the Cosmos to fight. Enter the PCs, however, they have been granted the ability to choose their opponents which is highly unusual except for the most elite gladiator celebrities. During this time they can question their “sponsor”, a Mercane named Valicai, but otherwise they only encounter silent Dabus. Valicai has not been told much about the group and is confused why they get the special treatment. It will take a few weeks to arrange their fights, so they will have a sort of dormitory with a rudimentary library and work out/training room to prepare. Food will be brought to them but they are not allowed to leave lest they try to back out of their fights. If anyone in the group does try to break out (locked door DC 25) then legions of Dabus will be sent to return them.

https://www.worldanvil.com/block/1414810 (Dabus)

If group gets through Dabus, gladiators and stronger will be sent to stop them, including Shield Guardians that can cast a modified Banishment spell that will banish then to a prison cell.

Will fight Ogre and Oni, Oni will stay invisible at first.

Then a Tree Blight: https://5e.tools/bestiary/tree-blight-cos.html#google_vignette

Then the entire cult that killed Domilia: https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16836-cult-fanatic?srsltid=AfmBOopRT_SW7AFu6I9r0Fs1T-vd8U9RvWHpU8s7unR984Rcj2Kf_Hkq

https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16835-cultist?srsltid=AfmBOop8DB8Auh6F6AjCmQ5Xd5LT1gshoj8-UPs-i_xAUEKmZerHmiMq

https://www.5esrd.com/database/creature/cult-leader-3pp/

If Ron is present then they will fight keebler elves. They have normal gnome statblock but will unveil a Gingerbread Golem: https://www.reddit.com/r/UnearthedArcana/comments/18otzln/gingerbread_creatures_from_pesky_pastries_to/#lightbox

If the group survives their battles, they will be rewarded with a large sum of gold (2000 gold per player) and invited back to fight again for a chance to enter Sigil proper. For that battle though, they will not get to choose their opponent.

Sigil Entrance Battle; Shape shifting monster. Takes and switches between these forms, but when a form “dies” it can no longer take that form.

https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16929-hydra?srsltid=AfmBOopSSBqufdKhdcVOqSSexpQ6MQmZUfHXR5i8YD9l15z80OMz2Hql

https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16823-chimera?srsltid=AfmBOopzqEgRnbBfyxPL4ZcQ8BdHbYrEiTLRHPpV2tokc1F_2Of_jHR8

https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters?filter-cr-max=22&filter-cr-min=9&filter-partnered-content=f&filter-search=&filter-type=0&filter-type=13&page=5&sort=cr

https://5e.tools/bestiary/young-solar-dragon-bam.html#google_vignette

The arena will be a main platform with electrified pillars, surrounded by a sea of molten metal with platform islands on each. The beast they will face is called “Legion”

____________________________________________________________________

Room 31- Trophy Room

Reward for the coliseum battle. Commensurate to the size of the threat defeated.

Exit- To the stock room.

_____________________________________________________________________ Room 32- Pit

No Escape from normal routes. However, extra-planar allies could help (Zariel, the interloper, etc) if they are properly motivated.

Lemures attack first, followed by imps, and then progressively more powerful devils.

_____________________________________________________________________ Room 33- Demented Choir

A choir of sickly looking individuals sings a demented hymn. Players must make a save (DC 15) or suffer madness. If they attempt to stop the choir in any way, the members become ghouls and attack. A gibbering mouther is under the risers coordinating the entire operation.

Church Doors- Graveyard

_________________________________________________________________ Room 34- Sanitarium

Leaving may be difficult because the orderlies assume you are insane.

Orderly: https://roll20.net/compendium/dnd5e/Guard#content but with lower AC (no armor) and uses a club and has strength modifier +2.. Carry a syringe that requires a successful melee attack, easier when grappled. Must make con save 15 or be knocked unconscious. Will wake up in restraints.

If orderlies can’t handle, riot team is called in. Use veteran stat block https://roll20.net/compendium/dnd5e/Veteran#content can also use knockout syringe.

Locked Ward Door- Graveyard

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Room 35- Pumpkin Patch

Fields of pumpkins, and some angry Scarecrows guarding them.

Underneath a pumpkin- Orc Cave (Room 14)

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Room 36- Desecrated Temple

The first thing that hits you is the heat. This temple chamber has a massive pillar of fire rising from the floor and leaving through the ceiling, it is unclear how high it goes. The fire is so bright it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust. Once they do, you wish they hadn’t. You are in the central atrium of a temple. Religious idols have been smashed, occult symbols are smeared across the walls in blood and several holy worshippers are crucified upside down, their bodies charred and showing obvious signs of torture. A large, impossibly gaunt fiend of spikes and bone stands in the center of the carnage with infernal eyes glowing with glee. A swarm of imps fly around the fire column.

If the group tries to flee– They are immediately filled with a sense of profound purpose. Their squandered lives pale in comparison to the need in this room. A grave injustice has been wrought upon the world. If they give everything to right it, they will be rewarded… in this life or the next. No persuasion roll, but the feeling is quite powerful.

Encounters: 1 Bone Devil and 1d6 + 2 imps. Bearded devils, barbed devils, spined devils and lemures will emerge from the fire column over time if summoned by the bone devil

The Bone Devil’s poison incapacitates but leaves them alive so it can… work on them later. Also, if it falls below 50 hitpoints it will try to flee into the pillar of fire. 4 bearded devils will emerge when it leaves and the pillar will close. They are on a suicide mission to kill all in their path.

2 Knights and a Priest will show up after three rounds of battle (or when seems appropriate), believing the protagonists to be sent by Torm to help them liberate the temple. All have the blessing of Torm, +2d6 radiant damage to attacks and +1 to armor class. The priest has an aura of healing and the Bone Devil will target it.

Getting near this pillar will deal 2d6 fire damage per turn. It serves as a portal to the Nine Hells

There are 9 crucified figures total (representing the 9 Hells). Five are simple attendants of the temple, one is a high priest, one is a cleric/assistant priest, and the last two are paladins. Their equipment is strewn about the floor unceremoniously, the holy items ignored but any gold and loot having been taken. One of the assistants and cleric are still alive, barely and can describe what happened if healed.

Loot: Whatever is on the crucified figures. If the Pillar of Fire can be dispelled and the portal closed off, the party will be owed a favor by Torm.

Simple knowledge check will determine that this is a temple to Torm. If the players are able to revive and talk to one of the crucified figures they will learn this is the Devils’ revenge for their followers being slain by Paladins in service of Torm.

The truth is that Zariel has been pushing her war against the demons, having faced tensions in the Nine Hells and challenges to her position as leader of Avernus. She needs souls to fuel the war effort as they are the currency of the outer planes, so she has sent her followers to “recruit” souls, a move far bolder than most Devil Lords would do. The Paladins of Torm caught on to this and killed some of the followers, and this is their revenge. The assistant won't’ know anything about it, but the cleric may– if questioned correctly since the two paladins killed were involved in the operation. The two knights and priest were waiting for a sign from Torm to storm the Temple, the sounds of pitched battle gave them such a sign. If any survive, they will be thankful to the party and believe they were sent to help vanquish the evil. The Priest will be able to dispell the column of fire.

Front Doors- Haunted Dining Room (Room 8) Pillar of Fire- Vestry Door- Shattered Stained Glass Window

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Room 37- Mineshaft

Abandon mineshaft. Mine tools and carts are still in place but the miners are mysteriously absent. Some blood splatters upon investigation. They were taken by grimlocks… and there were a lot of them. Mithral ore is available to loot.

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Room 38- Sad Giant’s Hut

The group finds themselves in a giant hut on a lonely mountain. Everything is gigantic, approximately 4x the dimensions of a normal room. This means chairs are 8 feet off the ground, the table is 15 feet off the ground as is the bed. Storage containers are huge, the fire place ahs a cauldron large enough to fit a draft horse. There is a 70% chance the resident, a stone giant named Duu-voh, is present in the house. Otherwise he is out foraging. Duu-voh is in exile and has no valuables to speak of. He isn’t aggressive and mainly wants to be left alone. He feels extreme guilt about a group of Svirfneblin whose mine he caved in accidentally. Their surviving priestess cursed him with unnaturally long life, but incredible guilt. He has a long term form of Gaes cast on himself where he cannot wilfully take his life. He for the most part won’t react to the group unless they make a concerted effort to antagonize him. He will fight to defend himself but be thankful if they take his life.

-shield

Sad Giant dead, beeple taken over his body to use him as a ward.

Front Door- To the Grey Room (new path) Fire- This door randomly leads to one of the rooms 39-45 or room 21. These rooms may have special conditions to leave.

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Room 38 B- Fire Organized

Upon killing the giant and repurposing his hut for the beeple, the fire is no longer purple but green. It leads to a large empty chamber with doors marked with roman numerals indicating the next. Doors not glow at all now.

_______________________________________________

Room 39- Hostage Room

This is a storage room in a warehouse where 9 people have been tied up. There are 3 human children, 2 human adults- a teacher and an assistant, a married gnome couple, a half-elf clerk and a halfling courier. They are tied up as part of an organized kidnapping/ransom plot. The gang holding them has their hideout on the other side of a barred door (the only exit). Door requires strength check 25 to break. Group will need to break door down to get out or otherwise get the door open, taking them back to the Sad Giant’s Hut

In the hideout at the outset there are 4 thugs, 3 lizardmen and 1 bandit captain. However, if the group is there for a while or demands to speak with their leader, he will arrive. His name is Flurstil Oxen, and he will kill anyone who makes fun of his name. He may realize his group is outmatched by the characters and try to negotiate a deal.

https://roll20.net/compendium/dnd5e/Thug#content

https://www.5esrd.com/gamemastering/monsters-foes/npc/pirates/npc-bandit-captain/

https://www.dndbeyond.com/monsters/16946-lizardfolk

https://5e.tools/bestiary/urstul-floxin-wdh.html

Hostages freed- halfing gets Flurstils bounty. All bad guys dead

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Room 40- Masquerade

The group appears in a massive ballroom. The room is extravagantly decorated and seems to be a party for the very wealthy/elite. Dozens and dozens of people in elaborate dresses/suits and masks are vigorously dancing across the ballroom. A band in the corner plays an upbeat tune that fills the air with a sense of vigor and playfulness. The song continues on without end but somehow does not seem repetitive. However, something is amiss…

Group can make a perception check:

DC 10- Everyone is dancing, including a few wait staff who also wear masks. There isn’t a single person sitting, talking, going to the privy, or doing anything other than dancing. No one is taking breaks.

DC 15- There are tables with food and refreshment, but they haven’t been touched in some time. The food is starting to rot and is covered in flies.

DC 20- In the corners of the room, under serving tables with large, embroidered tablecloths covering them to the ground, someone spots a hand sticking out. If they investigate, the bodies of party goers have been unceremoniously stashed. A basic medicine check will reveal the individuals died from extreme dehydration, exhaustion and starvation.

DC 25- One of the dancers, wearing a mask with an elongated, pointed nose and a flourished red dress seems to be taking note of the party, whereas everyone else is dancing in a fugue state completely unaware.

DC 30- Hidden abyssal symbols are etched into the floor and the columns holding up the room. These symbols are very well hidden but if found and deciphered, represent a curse to trap people in a perpetual dance until they die.

The party must make a wisdom saving throw (DC 14). Failure acts as a permanent Otto’s Irresistible Dance. They may do nothing but dance, and will do so until they drop dead. Stopping the band will end the effect. Must be repeated once per minute.

If the band is stopped from playing, many of the dancers will collapse in absolute exhaustion/dehydration. The remainder will flee, carrying loved ones with them. The MC will turn into Vrock form and attack the party for disrupting its festivities.

The band will continue to play unless forcibly stopped. They are actually 2 doppelgangers and 3 quasits working with the vrock MCing the event. Since they can read thoughts, they will know if the party is planning on ambushing them and will use their surprise attack skill.

The MC- A an unusually smart vrock who delights in tormenting patrons is disguised as one, running the party. The ballroom itself has been cursed and the music played by the vrocks minions activates the curse.

EXP: 2300 Vrock + 600 Quasits, + 1400 Doppelgangers x 1.5 (environment hazard, dance curse) = 6450 exp total.

Loot- Vrock: Ocarina of Despair. When played (x1 per day), everyone who can hear it makes a Wisdom saving throw (DC 13). Failure makes them overtaken with despair. They get disadvantage on all rolls. May retry save each turn, but get disadvantage on it. Item is suffused with dark energy.

The Group has slain the Vrock, and allowed the quasits and doppelgangers to escape. They are resting and helping the surviving dancers recover. Initially, town guards, local healers, and the mayor run in. They are flabbergasted by what has happened. A grand party was thrown for the gentry of the surrounding towns.. But that was days ago. Somehow, whenever anyone approached the hall they either discovered it empty or realized they had somewhere else to be… so strong was the illusion weaved by the demon. After some time, an inquisitor arrives with a guard. See Inquisitor from compendium: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-b1P2uN6F6Ua15GNI78TNadI27VacKyH/view

Also accompanied by 3 Veterans. It is not clear where he hailed from, and he is elusive about his patronage but only that he is present to get to the bottom of what happened. He is incredibly suspicious of the characters, even though the other party goers all described them as the heroes. He believes that may have been part of the illusion. He will be satisfied with the group serving Torm or with the truth, anything else he may detect a lie. The mayor of the town will be defensive, wanting to praise the heroes who he will view as fortune finders for slaying the evil.

If the group waits long enough, priests of Helm will arrive to start to undue to the demonic magic at work. The group can take the head of the Vrock back to the temple of Torm for additional rewards.

Town- Penrath

Penrath has a major bard college, known for its colorful trees and its lush farmland. It is governed by a council of oligarchs. The races live together mostly in harmony. Aristocrats from around the area come to grand balls in the town… though that may not happen anymore.

Left note, heroes returned, want to start a correspondence.

__________________________________________________________

Room 41- Secret Garden

Appear in a massive, overgrown garden. There appears to be no way out. The garden was once a magnificent, palatial garden and sits outside an ancient manor. Now weeds and vines have grown in tangled over everything. The ghost of a halfling gardener will appear and insist that there is so much work that needs to be done but his hands somehow no longer work. To escape the group needs to garden, but as they pull weeds as Shambling Mound will emerge (maybe multiple). Once they have fixed up the garden, a portal leading out appears. Alternatively, if they defeat the halfling gardener (ghost statblock) or put it to rest they can escape.

Loot: Gardener’s Trowel- This trowel is a melee weapon that deals 1d4 damage. Against plants and plantlike creatures, they must make a Con Save DC 15, failure they instantly die if under 50 hitpoints, otherwise take 6d6 (21) damage. Might be found before shambling mounds emerge

The garden has been put to rest, but Cervi has died in the process. The group has the trowel, and Thog is desperate for revenge.

_____________________________________________________________________

Room 42- Casino

A casino on the Elemental Plane of Air. Run by Djinn, the dealers are various races/species but the floor managers are Djinn and Mercanes. https://www.5esrd.com/database/creature/mercane/

50 Gold = 1 Chip

Table Games:

Double or Nothing: Roll 2d6. If Doubles, win x5 your bet.

Roulette: 1d20- Can do Evens/Odds (x2 bet) or pick a number (x20 bet). Auto lose on 1 or 2.

Guess a number: Guess a number 1-13. If you are correct, you get x10 bet.

Slot Machine: Roll 3d6. Payout on triples: 666- x100 555- x50 444- x25 333- x10 222- x5 111- Nothing.

Poker- Play against up to 6 players. Everyone makes an INT check. Winner takes all minus a cut for the Casino.

If players try to cheat, steal or cause violence the guards will descend on them quickly. Security is run by a Rakasha named Vyre. Cruel but effective, she was hired for her uncanny ability to root out cheaters and is incredibly well compensated. The owners turn a blind eye to the sadism she employs when she deals with cheaters and troublemakers. She also deploys invisible stalkers to sneak up on opponents.

Group can come and go through a broken slot machine. However, if they cause too much trouble guards will be stationed by the entrance/exit.

Tiefling will trade souls for coins

_________________________________________________________________

Room 43- Utter Darkness

Everything is truly pitch black. Darkvision is useless here but blindsight works. If the group tries to create a light source, magic or otherwise, it is substantially dimmed and will attract a Wraith and spectres. They will attack until the light source is extinguished along with its bearer.

If the group feels around, they are in a large underground chamber. There are no doors and the walls are smooth stone and the ground is dirt. Defeating the wraith will end the magical darkness curse. Alternatively if they dig up the body of the wraith they can put it to rest.

Act as blind in darkness (disadvantage on attacks, advantage in attacks against them).

(the body of the wraith serves as an exit, but the remains must be put to rest to stop it)

________________________________________________________________

Room 44- Petting Zoo

A petting zoo. However, most of the animals are sentient beings that have been trapped in animals bodies. They are a mix of goats, sheep, giant rabbits, chickens, miniature donkeys and horses (30+ animals and all). They are desperate for help. There is also a monkey that seems out of place. However, the zoo keeper will turn the players into animals if they catch on.

The Zoo Keeper is a Witch with statblock below:

https://www.5esrd.com/gamemastering/monsters-foes/npc/witch-of-the-woods/

Additionally has Polymorph other ability, once per minute, transforms them into an animal for the petting zoo. Lasts 1 hour, but a ritual can make the transformation permanent.

The monkey is her servant and will transform into a giant ape and attack if she is at all in danger:

https://roll20.net/compendium/dnd5e/Giant%20Ape#content

The Zoo Keeper is dressed in zoo keeper garb, androgynous with hair put back underneath a large cap. They go by the name Annelynne, and their back story is that they always dreamed of having a zoo of their very own. The beasts of the wilderness are frightening and dangerous, and she wanted a place she could enjoy the peaceful creatures of the world with safety. She treats the players as visitors initially but will probe them to see if they are “violent” or “dangerous”. If they catch on that the animals are in fact people, she will transform the group one at a time. The Ape will back her up if the contest turns hostile, and will incapacitate them so they can be transformed at the Witches leisure.

If defeated, her loot includes her Grimoire. A spell caster can study this to add Polymorph to their spells, even if it is not normally available. Additionally, a more potent version that takes a full minute to cast makes the spell permanent, but uses a 5th level spell slot.

The captured beings will remain in animal form even after the witch is slain. A magical means will have to be found to reverse the spell. In the meantime, they will need to be fed and cared for. If the group can turn them back, they will find a combination of warriors, low level mages, rogues, soldiers, commoners and various people trapped. They will be incredibly thankful to the group and give over any valuables they have.

________________________________________________________________________

Room 45- The Vengeful Little One

The group appears in what looks like a warzone. This town is high up in the mountains and signs of a struggle abound. There are stacks of coffins along with signs of a struggle, blood spatters, smashed pots and crates, and a makeshift medical tent where soldiers are being attended to. The residents of the town are present but make themselves scarce. In the center of the town is a hastily constructed fortification made from stone blocks, strong wooden beams, nets, ropes and essentially rubble. It looks like they pulled whatever materials they could find to fortify something fast, but its unclear if it was to keep something in or keep something out.

-The soldiers are part of the national army for this region. The towns guard has been slaughtered and they were called in as reinforcements.

-A few Warrior-Priests were slaughtered, but one survivor is laid up in the medical tent along with a few surviving guards and towns people caught in the crossfire. The survivors wounds are similiar, it seems they bled out of all orfices, especially their eyes and mouth but the blood was black and ichorus, as if it had been rotting

-The group will have to get the story in pieces, but essentially a young girl with dark powers went on a rampage through the town. It started with her slaughtering a “local business leader” and his guard, but in reality he was an organized crime boss. When the town guard responded they absorbed her wrath as well. The town hid from the young girl in horror while they awaited reinforcements

-Everyone who tried to stop the girl was slaughtered. Whenever she took mortal injuries, her body would turn to ash and she would reappear, unharmed. She seemed to have the ability to kill by simply looking at someone

-The girl is currently bound in the fortified area in the center of town. She is blind folded and bound, and they periodically force feed her and give her water to keep her alive. If she dies, she will reappear unharmed and continue her rampage.

-The captain will address the group, he has put out a call for help for any heroes who can successfully kill her. All other attempts have failed but they fear waiting any longer for if she escapes all hell will break loose. They have rigged the fortified area with gas which can knock her out if needed, and the group can go in and try to dispatch her.

-If the group can get the girl to talk, they will discover that she seeks revenge on those who killed her dad and took her “ma”. Essentially her dad got into deep debt with a loan shark in order to afford magic healing for the mother. When he couldn’t pay it back they beat him badly so he tried to flee in the night with his wife and daughter. They were caught, and the dad was killed and mother sold into slavery. The girl escaped and her rage led to her– condition.

***

The Girl (she has forgotten her name- but if the group can discover it it is Callie Smithfield)

HP: 35 (if she is brought to 0 hit points she dies) AC: 18 (Dex +3, Insight +5) Initiative: +8 (insight + dex) Stats: Str: 8, Con: 10, Dex: 17, Int: 13, Wis: 10, Cha: 11

Attacks: Melee +8 (1d4) Necrotic Gaze: Casts toll the dead (11th caster level) on anyone she can see. 3d8 or 3d12 if they are injured

Reconstitution: If brought to 0 hit points she turns to ash and reforms in one turn, completely healed of all ill effects, wearing the same dress still covered in her father’s blood.

Unnatural Prowess: Her parasite gives her +5 insight to AC and Initiative. She gets +9 to all saving throws and is immune to mind altering effects. Also altered hit points that let her take far more damage than normal.

Banishment Resistance: Any spells that would forcibly transport her to another plane, instead kills her allowing her to reform if she so chooses.

The Parasite: The dark force feeding on Callie’s soul responds to anything trying to enter her mind as a hostile invader. Any attempt to psychically link requires a wisdom saving throw DC 18 or take 6d6 necrotic damage.

***

If set free, Callie will mercilessly slaughter the guard who have been attempting to kill her and torturing her in the process (decapitation, burning, etc). She can be persuaded with kindness and a promise to help find her mother.

Callie’s mother has been sent to an encampment outside a mithral mine to serve as a slave in a brothel for the miners.

The Parasite Callie carries is from an old, ancient magic of a long forgotten, unnamed god. It is difficult to remove. The Beeple queen will refuse to try, saying it is too dangerous to her colony. Interloper/Zariel will be unable to remove it without killing her. Interloper is happy to do so if asked, and will study the parasite. If Callie’s mother is saved though, her vengeance can be abated and the parasite can be removed without killing her. Zariel will recruit the girl and use her as an assassin in return for freeing her mother.

If one of the characters takes the parasite into themselves they will gain her abilities but their heart will darken and they will have to make Will saves regularly or use abilities against others.

____________________________________ Room 46- Vampire Karaoke

A Karaoke Bar in a seedy, dungeon like bar underneath a bustling metropolis. The group better perform well… because bad performers are fed upon by the owner, a vampire and some of his guests (other vampires).. The only exit is blocked by security guards (vampire spawn) until the group performs their routine. The group before them is a scrawny unkempt woman wearing lots of flowers and a few halflings playing citars and tambourines. Her music is “sounds like a seagull losing a fight with a jet engine—shrill, chaotic, and aggressively indifferent to traditional notions of melody or harmony. While some call it avant-garde, others might argue it’s less “groundbreaking art” and more “performance piece of a microphone being tortured.” Upon the end of her set, the guards drag her and the performers to the back, where the group may spot them being exsanguinated.

5 Vampires are present total. The Owner (also the MC), two audience members whose eyes gleam wickedly, one heading security and a creepy older vampire who hangs out backstage. There are a total of 13 vampire spawn staffing the event, including security guards, bartenders and waitresses.

If the group performs well, they are free to leave and given free food or drink if they’d like.

___________________________________________________________

Room 47- Apiary Village

The village that was afflicted by a horrific plague of supernatural origin was cured by the Interloper. Magic infused bees stung each afflicted village member, curing them. However, this was more than just a cure. The villagers became suffused with energy and vigor. The village was rearranged for efficiency and productivity. Single family dwellings were eliminated in favor of large dormitories. The birth rate skyrocketed and all children were cared for in a single building. Employment rate was 100% as every member worked tirelessly to farm, build and expand. The village members seemed quite content with their new situation. Their physical forms began to transform as well. They slept little, rarely tired and became immune to disease. They started growing antennae and the newborns have wings. Ultimately, they will become bee/human hybrids with aspects of both. The intelligence of humanoids but the collectivity of a bee hive.

One of the villagers has evolved into the “queen” and has reached out to the party psychically through the interloper for help. The village's new economic boom drew quick attention, and while tax collectors were happy to collect the additional revenue, a group of Elven druids/rangers have determined the villagers to be abominations that must be eradicated lest they spread. The group has a choice- defend the village, leave them to their fate, or eradicate the villagers themselves. The Interloper can temporarily force a portal to the village, but it will only last for a few hours.

Sera, a young girl who was close to dying of the plague, is now a worker and will speak directly to the group to treat with them.

Villager-Bee Worker

AC: 12 HP: 13 STR: 10, DEX: 14 CON: 10 INT/WIS/CHA 8-14 (varies) EXP: 100

Attack: Sting +4 to hit, 1d6 + 2 damage. Con DC 11 or take 3d6 poison damage. Paralysis occurs if 0 HP reached.

Villager-Bee Soldier

AC: 15 HP: 44 Speed: 30 ft/30 ft fly STR: 14, DEX: 16, CON14, INT/WIS/CHA (varies) EXP: 450

Attack: 2 claws (1d6 + 2 each), 1 Sting (1d8 + 4 damage) (all +6 to hit) Con DC 13 or take 6d6 posion damage. Paralysis if 0 HP hit.

Acid Spittle Targets make reflex save DC 13 or take 6d6 acid damage. Recharge 3

Villager-Bee Queen

AC: 10 HP: 250 Speed: 10 ft EXP: 1800

Con Save +10, Ref Save -4, Wis Save +9

STR: 10, DEX: 2, CON: 20, INT: 16, WIS 18, CHA: 14

Abilities: Telepathy, immune to charm and mind influencing effects, can coordinate all other villagers.

Attack: Kinesis 2d6 x 5 thrown objects +7 to hit

Dominate: Wis DC 14: Failure and Queen has mind control over target. Gets another save every time they take damage or the queen is incapacitated.

Sacrifice: Can trigger up to 3 workers or soldiers in the vicinity to self-destruct. Players must make Ref DC 14 save, failure and they take 3d6 per worker and 6d6 per soldier. 15 foot radius.

The Naturalists who have come to purge the village will have 5 tier 1 rangers, 1 tier 2 ranger named Vynx. He is taciturn and unwavering in his mission to cleanse nature of magical abominations. They will also have 4 tier one druids and 1 tier 2 druid, Baakar, who does not like to speak.

https://www.emptyhexes.com/monster-mondays/npc-ranger

https://www.emptyhexes.com/monster-mondays/npc-druid

Druids can cast ice/fire bolts that deal 1d12 damage and have +5 spell attack modifier at will.

The Naturalists seek to purge the entire village but their primary goal is to kill the queen. They will cast walls of fire around the village to keep them in and then pick them off with spells and arrows.

If the group tries to save the village, they will stay behind to defend as the queen and workers are evacuated. A handful of soldiers will stay behind to aid the players. They will have 1 hour to prepare the town for the assault, and during this time can prepare it in any way they see fit. The druids and rangers will focus on using ranged and spell attacks as much as possible to pick off the players from a distance. Entangle, wall of fire, thunderwave, arrows and ranged spells will all be used to maximum effect.

______________________________________________________

Room ?– Invitation to Sigil

The Group can enter Sigil through a victory in the arena. They will face Akaros the Undefeated, the greatest gladiator in the multiverse. He has been gifted immortality among many other abilities from his countless victories. However, he has grown bored and depressed with the lack of challenge. Akaros will not kill the group, instead incapacitating each member (but killing everything they summon). At the end of the battle the audience votes on whether or not to resurrect them or send their souls to Sigil’s coffers.

Arkanos the DEFEATED CR 25: 75000 EXP

HP: 40d10 + 280 (500) AC: 27

STR: 26 DEX: 24 CON: 24 INT: 16 WIS: 20 CHA: 22

Saving Throws: STR: +15, Dex +14, Con +15, Wis + 12 Immunities: Frightened, charmed, restrained

Arena Mastery: Akaros has advantage on attack rolls, saving throws, and ability checks while in any form of competitive combat. He cannot be surprised or caught off guard in an arena.

Unbreakable Form. He is immune to being knocked prone, disarmed, or restrained. When reduced to 0 hit points, he instead drops to 1 hit point once per day.

Supreme Duelist. Akaros can use his reaction to parry one melee attack he sees, reducing the attack’s damage by 25. If this reduces the damage to 0, he may immediately make a melee attack against the attacker.

Equipment: Soldier’s Sword (artifact) This gladius has a +1 enhancement bonus per 5 hit die, giving it +8 for Akaros.

Warp Javelins (artifact) This Javelin is made of pure force energy and will form infinite copies to be thrown at will. Each deals 6d6 + str force damage.

+3 studded leather armor (AC 15)

+3 Shield (+5 AC)

Attacks (4 per turn):

Gladius: 1d6 + 16 (20) +24 to hit Warp Javelin: 6d6 + 8 (29) +15 to hit force damage

Abilities:

Flurry of Blows: makes 1d6 + 3 additional attacks with his gladius (recharge 6)

Overwhelming Criticals: Nat 20 deals +10d6 (35)

Coup-De-Grace: On a critical hit, can instantly decapitate an enemy with under 100 hp.

Second Wind (2/day): +100 hp (bonus action)

Reaction:

Riposte: Makes a melee attack against a target that misses. Once per attacker per turn.

Legendary Actions:

Disarm: Upon a successful attack roll, target must make a contested strength check, failure and their weapon is ripped from their hands and tossed.

Dash: Akaros moves 30 feet in any direction.

Roar of the Arena: Revs up the crowd, gains 2d6 inspiration.

Akaros will pull his punches to rev up the crowd and make the fight look competitive, but if he becomes in any real danger he will unleash the full brunt of his abilities.

_____________________________________________________________

Room ?– The Exile’s Hideout

One of the group's predecessors who gained enough power to separate from the Interloper entirely. He has built a demiplane as a hideout and raids the various planes while avoiding the Order of the Weave and any forces of the Interloper.

-use paragon statblock, give him rogue, fighter and mage levels. Access to very potent magic items and spells.

_______________________________________________

?– Holiday Surprise

Santa is here, and it doesn’t matter if you've been naughty or nice. This door is red, and behind it is a demon shape shifted as Father Christmas. It is incredibly powerful, and will give the group escalating gifts until they state they no longer believe in it, in which case the room will melt away and they will be freed (with a reward).

Santa uses the stat block for a Glabrezu with the following extra abilities:

Gifts: He can summon “gifts” that turn the players wishes against them. Army of Elves: Hoards of dretches wearing little elf costumes Rudolph: The “reindeer” has a glowing red probiscus, it is a Chasme dressed as a reindeer. Milk and Cookies: Elven slaves bring him cookies that heal him for 50 hp.

Total EXP: 10000 (double amount before)

The group can stop him if they all say with conviction they no longer believe in him.

_________________________________________

?– Grandma Nettles

-See separate Doc

Room Ideas:

-Mithardir

-quicksand pit

-A knight fighting a monster, but it isn’t what it seems. Monster is good knight is bad

-Giant birds nest

-defiled grove

-A great defensive wall (ramparts)

-Brewery

-UFO

-Massive library

-Uzo’s cursed Bow source. A paladin impaled on a spike, unable to die in a pocket dimension within Hades. Many tortured souls will accost anyone who tries to interfere, as they feed on the suffering to stifle their own.

-A vast ocean

-A random gear room in Mechanus. Modrons will take particular notice since interlopers should not be possible

-A formian nursery

-A hill giant camp

-This isn't a real room idea, I'm just curious if anyone read this far. If so, kudos to you!

-Under a troll bridge

-A meeting for people addicted to a magic powder

-A court room with a person on trial for fornicating with a holy animal

-An olive oil plantation

-An arctic wasteland

-Abyssal layer where confused armies on both sides of the blood war have been forgotten

-A game of clue in an entire astral mansion. They can’t leave until it is solved

-Birth of a new religion, they get to choose the nature of the “messiah”

-Drug lab

-A massive clock

-A rock concert

-A nest of a colossal, aggressive bird that has chicks there

-Spider Pantry

-Predecessor’s Fortress

I’ve always wanted to understand electronics a bit more. Mostly so I can repair them. We’ve been using a battery powered fan because we have no power to our house (intentionally, see this post here for details if you want), and the fan recently died. So I took it apart to see if I could figure anything out. With a volt meter I could see that the power was coming in under the battery connections at 20.8 volts. Inside there was a little circuit board connect to the switch with two wires going from the battery to that thing, and then from that switch board up to the motor. I tested up at the motor and there was nothing going from the switch to the motor.

The internet was just about useless for help. I couldn’t find a replacement switch + circuit board even though I had the part number. All the online sources were not giving me much to go on to repair it myself. And used broken fans to try and salvage parts were almost the same price as a new functioning one. It’s pretty lame living in a throw away culture.

So I ended up just cutting that switch out and hard wiring from battery to fan. I felt wires as it was running and nothing felt hot so it didn’t seem like any major problem. The biggest issue I have with it is that it is now on full blast when the battery is plugged in, where we like running it at about 30% speed for quietness and longer battery life. But it’s been so warm we wanted to run it and have been.

Just a warning to everyone out there who may try something like this. It turns out that the battery does not have a low voltage cutoff built into it. I ran the fan last night and it ran until it completely killed the battery. The battery was so low that it wasn’t recognized by the charger and wouldn’t charge. I found out that you can jump two batteries together by putting a wire from positive to positive and negative to negative and revive the dead battery to the point of being able to charge it again.

Here are a couple videos on the idea:

video one battery repair

video two battery repair

If you do this be careful. I noticed that the wires I used got warm. It’s better to copy the method used on video two. Touch the wires on and off to pulse some power to it rather than just hook it up and let it sit. It was hard to get wires in there, so I had to use too small of wires for the job. Doing this is risky and if you just left it there the wires could start on fire. So I only hooked it up for about 5 seconds and could feel it getting a little warm. I think it’s also smart to copy the method in video one where he’s using the same kind of battery to jump the dead one if you can. When I pushed the button on the battery to see how much power was left, it still did not register – the battery was still pretty low. But when I plugged it into the charger it worked! So now it’s out there charging.

If I use the fan anymore I’ll be monitoring the battery level more regularly. If you run batteries to very low voltage (beyond what it is built to do) you can do permanent damage. I may have shortened the lifespan by doing all this. However it’s an older battery and overall I’ve learned a lot through this.

If you think your battery is dead because it was over-drained for whatever reason you may be able to revive it without any specialized “smart charger.” One reason would be if you left a very low battery uncharged somewhere for too long and then came back to it thinking it was completely dead. This trick might give it a second life.

Hope this helps, have a great one!

Move along. Nothing to see here.

She is eighty-five, she lives in the United States, and every morning a small tabletop device with a swivelling head and a soft glowing base tells her it is time to take her medication. It suggests she stretch. It asks how she slept. It is called ElliQ, it is made by the Israeli company Intuition Robotics, and according to the opinion piece that opened with her story in the Korea Times on 19 August 2026, it helps her stay independent.

The author of that piece was Suh Chung-ha, a former Korean ambassador to Singapore and Hungary who now runs the ASEM Global Ageing Center in Seoul. His argument was not that the robot is bad. His argument was subtler and considerably more uncomfortable: that the same broad technological shift that produced her helpful companion is quietly reshaping her access to healthcare, long-term care, credit, insurance and public services, and that it is doing so using systems trained on data which encode decades of assumptions about what old people are worth.

Here is the thing that should keep you awake. There are two artificial intelligence systems in this woman's life. One of them sits on her side table, greets her by name, and was designed with people like her explicitly in mind. The other one has never been in her house, has no name, no face and no voice, and it is scoring her.

She chose the first. The second chose her.

Two Machines, One Household

The asymmetry is almost perfectly clean, and it is worth stating precisely because it is the structural fact from which nearly everything else in this story follows.

The assistive machine is opted into. It arrives through a screening process, in the New York State case run by county and locality-based Area Agencies on Aging. It is visible: it occupies physical space, it announces itself, it is marketed at older people as a product for older people. If she hates it, she can unplug it and someone will come and take it away.

The discriminatory machine has none of these properties. She did not opt into the underwriting model that prices her travel insurance, the credit decisioning system that assessed her application for a modest overdraft extension, or the triage algorithm that sorted her referral. She cannot see them. She was not consulted in their design, and neither was anyone remotely like her. She cannot unplug them. In most cases she will never learn that a model was involved at all; she will simply receive an outcome, in a letter or on a screen, expressed in the passive voice.

Assistive AI for older people is a market with a sales pitch. Decisional AI about older people is infrastructure with a legal department.

Public debate about AI and ageing has been overwhelmingly captured by the first category. Companion robots photograph well. They allow governments with ageing populations and inadequate care workforces to point at something tangible. Meanwhile the systems that will actually determine whether an eighty-five-year-old can borrow money, buy cover for a trip to see her grandchildren, or get onto a surgical waiting list are being deployed with almost no public conversation about age at all.

Ninety-Five Per Cent of What, Exactly

Start with the good machine, because the claims made for it deserve the same scepticism we would apply to anything else.

In August 2023 the New York State Office for the Aging announced that its ElliQ rollout had produced a 95 per cent reduction in loneliness among participants. The figure travelled fast, and has been repeated in trade press, vendor materials and policy briefings ever since. That 2023 release reported that more than 800 older New Yorkers were in the programme, that users interacted with the device more than thirty times a day, six days a week, and that over 75 per cent of those interactions related to social, physical or mental wellbeing. Greg Olsen, the agency's director, said the results were “truly exceeding our expectations”.

Thirty interactions a day is not a device gathering dust.

Now read what the same agency published in February 2026. Its year-three project update, covering the programme year from June 2024 to May 2025, reports that 94 per cent of clients say they feel less lonely, up from 93 per cent the year before, that 97 per cent report feeling better overall and 79 per cent feel more connected to the world around them, with customer satisfaction at 4.6 out of 5. The average client is 75. As of May 2025, 834 older adults had joined. More than 3,500 have applied.

Four applicants for every place.

Look at what happened to the sentence. In 2023 the claim was a 95 per cent reduction in loneliness: a delta, a measured change, phrasing that implies an instrument, a baseline and a follow-up. In 2026 it is 94 per cent of clients who say they feel less lonely. That is not a reduction. It is a self-report, and the agency now presents it as one.

The wording did not soften by accident.

Neither version was ever a clinical finding. Both are programme metrics derived from participants who were screened in, who wanted the device, and who were asked how they felt. There is no control group in those numbers. There is no validated loneliness instrument named alongside them in the public materials, no randomisation, no blinding, and no comparison against the obvious alternative intervention, which is a person visiting.

Note too how little the figure moves. Ninety-three per cent, then 94, across a self-selected cohort that grew by hundreds in between. Effect estimates wander when the sample changes; satisfaction scores do not. The 4.6 out of 5 sitting in the same document is from the same family of measurement.

The wider literature is more honest and less exciting. A systematic review and meta-analysis by Lihui Pu, Wendy Moyle, Cindy Jones and Michael Todorovic, published in The Gerontologist, screened more than two thousand articles and found thirteen from eleven randomised controlled trials, nine of which entered the meta-analysis. Social robots appeared to have positive effects on agitation, anxiety and quality of life, but the meta-analysis found no statistical significance. The authors flagged a relatively high risk of bias in allocation concealment and blinding, and concluded that firm conclusions were limited by the shortage of high-quality studies. A later meta-analysis published in the Journal of the American Medical Directors Association, focused on residents of long-term care facilities and drawing on eight trials, did report significant reductions in depression and loneliness with large effect sizes.

So: promising, contested, and nowhere near the confidence implied by a round 95.

None of this means ElliQ is useless. It plainly is not; the engagement figures describe a device in near-constant use, and 834 people have one while thousands wait. It means that the most widely circulated statistic about AI and older people is a self-reported satisfaction figure from a self-selected group, and that we have collectively decided to treat it as proof of concept for an entire policy direction.

The Awkward Protected Characteristic

Now the harder half, and it requires conceding something that age-discrimination advocates often skate past.

Age is a genuinely strange thing to build fairness engineering around. Race and sex, as legal categories, are treated as characteristics that should almost never bear on how you are priced or assessed. Age is not treated that way, and not merely out of prejudice. Age correlates with mortality and morbidity in ways that are real, measurable and actuarially load-bearing. An insurer pricing life cover without reference to age is not being fair; it is being incompetent.

The law recognises this explicitly, and the contrast is sharper than most people realise.

When the Equality Act 2010 extended the ban on age discrimination to the provision of goods, facilities and services in April 2012, it carved out financial services. Schedule 3 permits providers to use age in connection with a financial service, provided that any risk assessment involving age is carried out by reference to information relevant to the assessment and from a source on which it is reasonable to rely. Insurers and banks can price by age. They just have to be able to show the evidence is relevant and the source reasonable.

Compare this with what happened to sex. In the Test-Achats case the Court of Justice of the European Union struck down Article 5(2) of the Gender Directive, the provision that had allowed insurers to differentiate by gender, ruling it incompatible with the principle of equal treatment and invalid from 21 December 2012. The wording of the age exception is close to identical to the gender exception the court destroyed. It survives anyway.

Age, in other words, occupies a legal position no other protected characteristic holds: formally protected, substantively negotiable, with a standing statutory permission to price on it as long as you can point at a table.

There is a second awkwardness. Age is continuous, not categorical. Most fairness metrics in machine learning are built for discrete groups: compare outcomes for group A against group B, measure the gap, minimise it. Continuous attributes require binning, and binning is a modelling choice that quietly determines what you will find. Is the relevant comparison 65 and over against under 65? 80 and over against everyone else? Each decade separately? A model can look admirably fair across coarse bands and be brutal at the eighty-fifth birthday.

That the technical community is working on this is not in doubt. A paper posted to arXiv on 7 April 2026 by Fernando López, Paula Delgado-Santos, Pablo Gómez, David Solans and Jordi Luque examined demographics-agnostic training for bias mitigation in wake-up word detection, evaluating fairness across sex, age and accent, and reported that one technique reduced predictive disparity by 83.65 per cent for age. Note what that result implies about the baseline. A voice interface, the very modality most often proposed as the accessible option for people who struggle with screens, had an age disparity large enough that removing four fifths of it counted as a headline.

Where the Actuarial Defence Runs Out

Take the actuarial argument seriously and it still only covers a fraction of the territory.

It works for life insurance, where the outcome predicted is death and age is causally implicated in death. It works, with more strain, for annuities and some health cover. It does not work for the vast and expanding class of decisions where age enters not as a causal variable but as a learned correlation with something the model was never asked to think about.

Consider hiring. In August 2023 the United States Equal Employment Opportunity Commission settled with the tutoring company iTutorGroup for $365,000, in what was widely described as its first settlement involving an AI-driven hiring tool. The company's application software had been configured to automatically reject female applicants aged 55 and over and male applicants aged 60 and over. More than 200 qualified applicants were rejected on that basis. The discrimination came to light in an almost novelistic way: an applicant submitted two applications identical in every respect except the date of birth, and only the younger one got an interview. The consent decree included five years of EEOC monitoring and an injunction against requesting applicants' birth dates.

There is no actuarial defence for that. It was a hard filter, and it was illegal.

The more consequential case is messier. In Mobley v. Workday, Derek Mobley alleges that the applicant screening tools supplied by Workday systematically disadvantaged older job seekers; he says he submitted more than a hundred applications through the platform and was rejected every time. Judge Rita Lin of the United States District Court for the Northern District of California dismissed his intentional discrimination claim but allowed the disparate impact allegation to proceed, and on 16 May 2025 granted preliminary certification of a nationwide collective action under the Age Discrimination in Employment Act, covering applicants aged 40 and over denied recommendations through the platform since 24 September 2020. The court had earlier accepted the theory that an AI vendor could be directly liable for employment discrimination as an “agent” of the employer, and a March 2026 ruling rejected Workday's argument that the ADEA does not cover job applicants.

Two rulings since have sharpened it, in opposite directions. On 28 May 2026 the court held that AI bias-testing data can be protected from discovery by attorney-client privilege, shielding Workday's own testing material while accepting that it had probative value as evidence of disparate impact, on the basis that counsel had been substantively involved in curating it. The most useful evidence for establishing whether a screening model disadvantages older applicants is the vendor's own bias testing, and a vendor that routes that testing through its lawyers may be able to keep it from the people the model rejected.

Then on 22 June 2026 the court granted in part and denied in part Workday's motion to dismiss. It declined to dismiss an Americans with Disabilities Act claim built on a proxy-discrimination theory, the allegation being that the screening tools inferred health status. It declined to dismiss claims under California's Fair Employment and Housing Act, finding sufficient allegations that Workday designed, developed, maintained and controlled the tools from its California headquarters. It did dismiss a Title VII race-based disparate impact claim brought by a plaintiff who had not sought authorisation to add it, and struck a newly asserted theory that Workday was itself the direct employer. The allegations remain allegations; the case is unresolved.

What makes Mobley the important one is that nobody claims a birth date field was set to reject anyone. The claim is that a model, trained on which past applicants got hired, learned the shape of the people who tend to get hired, and that this shape has an age.

That is not actuarial risk. That is a machine reproducing a hiring market's existing prejudice at industrial throughput and calling it a recommendation.

The Ghost in the Feature Set

The standard corporate response is to remove age from the model. Anyone who has worked on this knows why that fails, but the mechanism deserves spelling out, because it is where the eighty-five-year-old actually gets caught.

Age is one of the most redundantly encoded attributes in consumer data. It leaks through everything.

The landmark demonstration of how much can be inferred from almost nothing is the study by Tobias Berg, Valentin Burg, Ana Gombović and Manju Puri, published in the Review of Financial Studies, which analysed over 250,000 purchases at a German e-commerce firm. Their finding was that a handful of trivially available “digital footprint” variables matched the predictive power of a credit bureau score for consumer default. The variables were not financial. They included the device type and operating system the customer was using, characteristics of their email address, the channel through which they arrived at the site, and the time of day the order was placed.

Every one is age-correlated. Operating system and device age track purchasing power and upgrade behaviour, which skew by generation. Email domain is a near-fossil record: certain providers cluster heavily among people who set up an address in a particular decade and never changed it. Whether you arrived via a search engine, a price-comparison site or by typing the address directly is a behavioural signature that varies sharply with digital fluency. Time of day correlates with employment status and with sleep patterns that shift with age.

Add the signals a modern web session captures without asking: typing speed and correction rate, scroll behaviour, time per form field, zoom level, whether accessibility settings are enabled, session length, abandonment patterns, whether the customer switched to the telephone halfway through.

A model given these features and told to predict default, or churn, or fraud, or claim frequency, will find age whether or not you have deleted the birth date column. It will not label the pattern “age”. It will simply learn that a slow-typing user on an old Android device who zoomed the page, took eleven minutes over a form and then rang the call centre belongs to a cluster with a particular outcome rate. The cluster is old people. The model does not know this and does not need to.

This is proxy discrimination, and age is the characteristic most vulnerable to it, because unlike race or sex it is continuously written into behaviour rather than occasionally into a form field. You can decline to state your sex. You cannot decline to type at the speed you type.

It is also, since June 2026, a theory a federal court has agreed to hear. The proxy-discrimination claim that survived Workday's motion to dismiss is this argument made in a courtroom rather than a conference paper: that a system can sort people by a protected characteristic it was never given and could not name if asked.

A World Where They Were Not There

There is a deeper problem underneath the proxy problem, and it is the one the World Health Organization identified with unusual bluntness in February 2022 in its policy brief “Ageism in artificial intelligence for health”.

The brief made a point that is easy to nod along to and hard to fully absorb: the datasets used to train AI models frequently exclude older people, who often sit within a minority subset for technologies not explicitly designed as gerontechnology. It set out eight considerations, among them participatory design of AI by and with older people, age-diverse data science teams, age-inclusive data collection, investment in digital infrastructure and digital literacy for older people and their carers, rights for older people to consent and to contest, and governance frameworks with teeth.

Under-representation in training data is not neutral. This is the part that gets lost.

If a population is thinly represented in the data, the model has less signal about them, so its predictions for them are less accurate and typically more conservative. Less accurate prediction for a group means more errors in both directions, but the consequences of those errors are asymmetric. A false negative for an older applicant means a declined loan or a rejected application. A false positive means an accepted risk. Institutions tune thresholds to avoid the second kind of error, so noisier estimates for a group systematically produce more refusals for that group. Uncertainty gets priced as risk.

Now compound it across time. Because older people were less present in digital life during the decades when the training corpora were accumulating, they generated fewer digital records. Because they generated fewer records, models are worse at assessing them. Because models are worse at assessing them, they are more often refused or steered towards manual, slower, more expensive channels. Because they are pushed off the digital rails, they generate still fewer records. This is the thin-file problem, and for older people it runs in the opposite direction from the intuitive one: a person can have fifty years of impeccable financial history and still be functionally invisible to a model that mostly reads behavioural exhaust from the last eighteen months.

The past is not a neutral training set. It is a record of who was allowed to participate.

The Recursive Trap

Here is where the digital divide stops being a story about access and becomes a story about power, and it is the thread that runs directly back to the woman with the robot on her side table.

The numbers are not ambiguous. Ofcom's Adults' Media Use and Attitudes report, published on 2 April 2026, found that 6 per cent of UK adults still have no home internet access, and that 83 per cent of that group are aged 65 or over, with 66 per cent aged 75 and above. Among those offline, 68 per cent said they were not interested or felt no need, 38 per cent found it too complicated and 25 per cent cited cost. Age UK reported in July 2025 that 2.4 million older people, nearly one in five, use the internet less than once a month or not at all, that 920,000 had reduced their internet use in the previous twelve months, and that 4.3 million, a third, do not use a smartphone. Exclusion was higher among older Black people at 32 per cent and older Asian people at 26 per cent, and among older people living alone at 30 per cent. Caroline Abrahams, Charity Director at Age UK, has warned repeatedly that people who cannot or will not go online must still be able to reach services offline.

In the United States, Pew Research Center reported in January 2026, drawing on a survey conducted between February and June 2025, that 78 per cent of adults aged 65 and over own a smartphone against 97 per cent of adults under 50, that 70 per cent have home broadband, and that 14 per cent are online almost constantly compared with 63 per cent of those aged 18 to 29.

Now put those two facts side by side.

Fact one: older people are the population most likely to be scored by systems they cannot see, and most likely to be misscored because of thin data and proxy leakage. Fact two: older people are the population least equipped to use the machinery that exists for challenging an automated decision.

Because that machinery is digital. All of it. The right of appeal lives behind a login. The “why was I declined?” explanation is a link in an email. The subject access request is a web form. The complaint goes to a chatbot that triages before a human sees it. The regulator's guidance is a PDF. The decision notice arrives in an app.

Article 22 of the General Data Protection Regulation is supposed to be the backstop. It gives people the right not to be subject to a decision based solely on automated processing that produces legal or similarly significant effects, and where such decisions are permitted, Article 22(3) requires safeguards including the right to obtain human intervention, to express a point of view and to contest the decision. Legal scholars have criticised the provision for years, principally over the word “solely”, which invites institutions to insert a nominal human who rubber-stamps the model output, and over the vagueness of what counts as meaningful information about the logic involved.

But there is a failure mode more basic than any of those doctrinal complaints. A right you have to go online to exercise is not a right for someone who is not online. It is a courtesy extended to people who can already reach it.

This is the recursive trap. The people most likely to be wrongly assessed by an algorithm are, by the same underlying cause, the people least able to find out that an algorithm assessed them, least able to obtain an explanation, and least able to appeal. Digital exclusion does not merely sit alongside algorithmic harm. It is the mechanism that makes algorithmic harm unaccountable. The error and the inability to contest the error have a common origin, and that common origin is age.

What Seoul Cannot Fix by Declaration

On 2 September 2026, the ASEM Global Ageing Center will convene the 6th ASEM Forum on the Human Rights of Older Persons in Seoul, under the theme “Artificial Intelligence and the Human Rights of Older Persons: Toward Age-inclusive AI Transformation”, bringing together experts from Asia and Europe. Suh's Korea Times piece was, transparently, a curtain-raiser for it.

The forum arrives at a moment of unusual institutional motion. On 3 April 2025 the UN Human Rights Council adopted by consensus a decision to establish an intergovernmental working group to begin drafting a legally binding convention on the human rights of older persons, after more than a decade of stalled effort in the open-ended working group on ageing. The new body held an organisational meeting in Geneva in February 2026, convened its first substantive session from 13 to 17 July 2026, and will hold its second session from 26 to 30 October 2026 at the Palais des Nations in Geneva, with the early sessions devoted to purpose, general principles and scope before any drafting of articles. The timetable beyond that is now known: a discussion of an outline of the convention's main elements is expected in July 2027, and a first zero draft around October 2027. The International Telecommunication Union published its own report in July 2026 on artificial intelligence and ageing, examining the unequal distribution of AI benefits across age, gender and region.

This is real progress and it will take years. An outline of main elements in mid-2027, a zero draft in late 2027, and then the negotiation of text that states have to agree, sign and ratify before it binds anyone. The woman in the opening paragraph is eighty-five now.

Meanwhile, the regulation that already exists treats age oddly. The EU AI Act prohibits, under Article 5(1)(b), AI systems that exploit vulnerabilities due to age, disability or specific socio-economic circumstances in order to materially distort behaviour, with those prohibitions applicable from 2 February 2025. That is a genuine protection against the payday-lender-targeting-the-cognitively-impaired scenario. It is not a protection against underwriting. Credit scoring and life and health insurance pricing sit in the high-risk category under Annex III, which brings documentation, data governance and human oversight duties, but lawful risk assessment carried out for legitimate purposes with proportionate safeguards falls outside the Article 5 prohibition. Which is to say: the Act catches predation and regulates underwriting, but it does not question whether age-based underwriting is itself the problem, because European law has already decided that it is not.

The American position is different and, in its way, weaker. The Age Discrimination in Employment Act of 1967 covers employment and does so reasonably robustly, as Mobley is testing. Outside employment, there is no federal equivalent of the Equality Act's general services provision. The Equal Credit Opportunity Act does prohibit age discrimination in credit transactions, and Regulation B is on its face protective: a creditor may use age as a predictive variable in an empirically derived, demonstrably and statistically sound scoring system, but only provided the age of an elderly applicant is not assigned a negative factor or value, and applicants aged 62 and over must be treated at least as favourably as those under 62. Read that carefully and you can see exactly where it fails. The rule polices the explicit age variable. It says nothing about a model that has never seen a date of birth and has inferred one from an operating system, a typing cadence and an email domain. You cannot audit for a negative factor assigned to elderly applicants if the model does not know which applicants are elderly, and neither, formally, does the institution running it.

Conference declarations do not touch any of this. The gap between what Seoul will resolve and what a German e-commerce model does with an old Android handset is the whole subject.

Four Things That Would Actually Change the Arithmetic

Strip away the declaratory language and there are perhaps four interventions that would materially alter the position of the woman in the opening scene. None of them are technically hard. All of them are expensive, which is why they have not happened.

The first is a legally enforceable right to a non-digital channel. Not a helpline that exists at the discretion of the provider, not a branch that survives until the next cost review, but a statutory obligation on any organisation providing an essential service to maintain a route to a competent human being that requires no internet connection, no smartphone and no app. Age UK has been arguing this for years, most pointedly in its work on the collapse of high street banking, where the shift to online-only services has left people who do not trust or cannot use digital channels struggling to manage their own money. Offline access is currently a courtesy. It needs to be a licence condition.

The second is age-disaggregated auditing as a compliance requirement rather than a research exercise. Institutions deploying models in credit, insurance, employment and healthcare triage should be required to publish outcome rates by fine-grained age band, not by a single crude over-65 bucket that conceals everything interesting, and to do so alongside approval rates, appeal rates and appeal success rates. You cannot regulate a disparity that nobody has to measure.

The third is co-design that is not decorative. The WHO brief called for participatory design by and with older people and for age-diverse data science teams, which sounds like boilerplate until you consider how few people building consumer risk models have ever watched an eighty-five-year-old complete an online form.

The fourth is human review that is genuinely reachable and genuinely empowered: a named person, contactable by telephone, with the authority and the information to overturn a model, and a duty to record why. Article 22 gestures at this. Nobody has made it real.

The Grandchild That Isn't

Return, finally, to the room with the robot in it, because there is a question underneath the discrimination question that the fairness metrics cannot reach.

Sherry Turkle, the MIT professor who has spent decades studying what happens to people around machines, argued in Alone Together that sociable technology “will always disappoint because it promises what it cannot deliver. It promises friendship but can only deliver performances.” Her worry was never that robots do things for us. It was that they do things to us: that we attach to what we nurture, and that outsourcing the nurturing dissolves the attachment.

Recent research suggests this is not merely philosophical. A study posted to arXiv on 26 February 2026 by Tianqi Song, Black Sun, Jingshu Li, Han Li, Chi-Lan Yang, Yijia Xu and Yi-Chieh Lee examined AI-generated influencers on Chinese short-video platforms that adopt kinship personas, presenting themselves as virtual grandchildren, using visual and conversational cues to enact family roles. Through social media analysis and interviews with older adults, the researchers found that these relationships met real informational and emotional needs, and also identified risks including emotional displacement and unequal emotional investment.

Unequal emotional investment. That phrase should be read slowly. It describes a relationship in which one party gives everything and the other party is a product roadmap.

The care-substitution risk is not that a family decides to buy a robot instead of visiting. It is subtler and more institutional. It is that a care system under fiscal pressure, looking at a 95 per cent loneliness reduction figure and a device that costs a fraction of a support worker's hourly rate, makes an entirely rational commissioning decision. Nobody need intend the substitution for it to happen. It is a budget line, not a betrayal.

The Bill Arrives in the Post

So here she is, eighty-five years old, at the intersection of both machines.

The one on her side table knows her medication schedule, notices when she has not moved for a while, and asks about her day. It has probably improved her life; the engagement data suggests she uses it constantly. It was designed for her, sold to a state agency on her behalf, and screened to her through a public programme.

The other one does not know she exists as a person. It knows a vector: an operating system four versions behind, a form completion time in the ninety-ninth percentile, an email domain that has not been fashionable since the Clinton administration, a preference for the telephone channel, a session at three in the afternoon. It has never been told her age. It does not need to be told her age. It has learned the residue that age leaves on everything a person touches, and it has priced it.

When it declines her, or loads her premium, or drops her below a referral threshold, the letter will not say why. If she wants to know why, she will be directed to a portal. If she cannot use the portal, she will be offered a chatbot. If the chatbot cannot help, she will be given a number that leads to a menu. And at the end of that process, if she reaches it, a human being will look at a screen showing the model's output and a confidence score, and will decline to overturn it, because overturning it requires a reason and the reason is buried in a feature interaction that nobody at the institution can articulate either.

And if anyone ever tested the model for age bias, the test may be privileged.

Suh's article carried the line that no one should be considered too old for AI. It is a good line. But the more precise formulation of the problem is that nobody is too old for AI, because AI does not require your participation. It requires only your data exhaust, and it will make decisions about your money, your health and your access to public life whether or not you have ever touched a keyboard.

The robot on the side table is the part of this she agreed to. Everything else is happening to her, in rooms she will never see, in a language nobody will translate, on the basis of a life lived mostly before the data started being collected.

Sources and References

1. Suh Chung-ha (2026) “No one should be too old for AI,” The Korea Times, 19 August 2026. Available at: https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/opinion/20260819/no-one-should-be-too-old-for-ai
2. World Health Organization (2022) Ageism in artificial intelligence for health: WHO policy brief, WHO, 9 February 2022, ISBN 978-92-4-004079-3. Available at: https://www.who.int/publications/i/item/9789240040793
3. New York State Office for the Aging (2023) “NYSOFA's Rollout of AI Companion Robot ElliQ Shows 95% Reduction in Loneliness,” press release, 1 August 2023. Available at: https://aging.ny.gov/news/nysofas-rollout-ai-companion-robot-elliq-shows-95-reduction-loneliness
4. New York State Office for the Aging (2026) Transforming Care for Older Adults Across the State of New York: ElliQ Project Update, February 2026. Available at: https://aging.ny.gov/system/files/documents/2026/02/nysofa-elliq-project-update-2026.pdf
5. Pu, Lihui, Moyle, Wendy, Jones, Cindy and Todorovic, Michael (2019) “The Effectiveness of Social Robots for Older Adults: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Studies,” The Gerontologist, 59(1), pp. e37-e51. Available at: https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article/59/1/e37/5036100
6. Yen, Hsin-Yen, Huang, Chia-Wei, Chiu, Hsiao-Ling and Jin, Gaoxiang (2024) “The Effect of Social Robots on Depression and Loneliness for Older Residents in Long-Term Care Facilities: A Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials,” Journal of the American Medical Directors Association, 25(6), 104979. Available at: https://www.jamda.com/article/S1525-8610(24)00176-2/fulltext
7. U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (2023) “iTutorGroup to Pay $365,000 to Settle EEOC Discriminatory Hiring Suit,” press release, 9 August 2023. Available at: https://www.eeoc.gov/newsroom/itutorgroup-pay-365000-settle-eeoc-discriminatory-hiring-suit
8. Holland & Knight (2025) “Federal Court Allows Collective Action Lawsuit Over Alleged AI Hiring Bias,” Insights, May 2025. Available at: https://www.hklaw.com/en/insights/publications/2025/05/federal-court-allows-collective-action-lawsuit-over-alleged
9. Duane Morris Class Action Defense (2026) “California Federal Court Grants In Part And Denies In Part Workday's Motion To Dismiss In Mobley v. Workday,” 24 June 2026. Available at: https://blogs.duanemorris.com/classactiondefense/2026/06/24/california-federal-court-grants-in-part-and-denies-in-part-workdays-motion-to-dismiss-in-mobley-v-workday/
10. Norton Rose Fulbright (2026) “Behind the privilege shield: Safeguarding AI bias-testing data in employment decisions,” Inside Tech Law, June 2026. Available at: https://www.insidetechlaw.com/blog/2026/06/behind-the-privilege-shield-safeguarding-ai-bias-testing-data-in-employment-decisions
11. Berg, Tobias, Burg, Valentin, Gombović, Ana and Puri, Manju (2020) “On the Rise of FinTechs: Credit Scoring Using Digital Footprints,” The Review of Financial Studies, 33(7), pp. 2845-2897. Available at: https://academic.oup.com/rfs/article-abstract/33/7/2845/5568311
12. Pinsent Masons (2024) “Age discrimination and insurance,” Out-Law Guide. Available at: https://www.pinsentmasons.com/out-law/guides/age-discrimination-and-insurance
13. UK Government (2012) The Equality Act 2010 (Amendment) Regulations 2012, SI 2012/2992, legislation.gov.uk. Available at: https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2012/2992/made
14. Information Commissioner's Office (2026) “Rights related to automated decision making including profiling,” UK GDPR Guidance and Resources. Available at: https://ico.org.uk/for-organisations/uk-gdpr-guidance-and-resources/individual-rights/individual-rights/rights-related-to-automated-decision-making-including-profiling/
15. European Union (2024) “Article 5: Prohibited AI Practices,” Regulation (EU) 2024/1689 (Artificial Intelligence Act). Available at: https://artificialintelligenceact.eu/article/5/
16. Ofcom (2026) Adults' Media Use and Attitudes Report 2026, published 2 April 2026. Available at: https://www.ofcom.org.uk/siteassets/resources/documents/research-and-data/media-literacy-research/adults/adults-media-use-and-attitudes-2026/adults-media-use-and-attitudes-2026-report.pdf
17. Age UK (2025) “Age UK warns 2.4 million digitally excluded older people are at risk of being left behind in an increasingly digital world,” press release, 29 July 2025. Available at: https://www.ageuk.org.uk/latest-press/articles/age-uk-warns-22.4-million-digitally-excluded-older-people-are-at-risk-of-being-left-behind-in-an-increasingly-digital-world/
18. Age UK (2023) “You can't bank on it anymore”: The impact of the rise of online banking on older people, May 2023. Available at: https://www.ageuk.org.uk/siteassets/documents/reports-and-publications/reports-and-briefings/money-matters/the-impact-of-the-rise-of-online-banking-on-older-people-may-2023.pdf
19. Pew Research Center (2026) “Internet use, smartphone ownership, digital divides in the US: What we know,” Short Reads, 8 January 2026. Available at: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2026/01/08/internet-use-smartphone-ownership-digital-divides-in-u-s/
20. Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights (2026) “Second session of the Intergovernmental Working Group on the human rights of Older Persons, 26-30 October 2026,” OHCHR. Available at: https://www.ohchr.org/en/events/sessions/2026/second-session-intergovernmental-working-group-human-rights-older-persons-26
21. International Telecommunication Union (2026) Artificial intelligence and ageing: Inclusive pathways for older persons in a digital world, ITU, July 2026. Available at: https://www.itu.int/hub/publication/d-phcb-ai_age-2026/
22. Song, Tianqi, Sun, Black, Li, Jingshu, Li, Han, Yang, Chi-Lan, Xu, Yijia and Lee, Yi-Chieh (2026) “Understanding Older Adults' Experiences of Support, Concerns, and Risks from Kinship-Role AI-Generated Influencers,” arXiv preprint 2602.22993, 26 February 2026. Available at: https://arxiv.org/abs/2602.22993
23. López, Fernando, Delgado-Santos, Paula, Gómez, Pablo, Solans, David and Luque, Jordi (2026) “'OK Aura, Be Fair With Me': Demographics-Agnostic Training for Bias Mitigation in Wake-up Word Detection,” arXiv preprint 2604.05830, 7 April 2026. Available at: https://arxiv.org/abs/2604.05830
24. Turkle, Sherry (2011) Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, Basic Books, New York.
25. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (2026) “12 CFR § 1002.6 Rules concerning evaluation of applications,” Regulation B (Equal Credit Opportunity Act), eCFR. Available at: https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-12/chapter-X/part-1002/subpart-A/section-1002.6

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Tim Green UK-based Systems Theorist & Independent Technology Writer

Tim explores the intersections of artificial intelligence, decentralised cognition, and posthuman ethics. His work, published at smarterarticles.co.uk, challenges dominant narratives of technological progress while proposing interdisciplinary frameworks for collective intelligence and digital stewardship.

His writing has been featured on Ground News and shared by independent researchers across both academic and technological communities.

ORCID: 0009-0002-0156-9795 Email: tim@smarterarticles.co.uk

Listen to the free weekly SmarterArticles Podcast

In Summary: * After having received injections in both eyeballs this afternoon for my wet macular degeneration condition, I've spent several hours barely able to see. At least I can still hear well enough to enjoy my MLB game tonight. And I'm confident my vision will be back to my normal when I wake up tomorrow morning.

Prayers, etc.: * I have a daily prayer regimen I try to follow throughout the day from early morning, as soon as I roll out of bed, until head hits pillow at night.

Health Metrics: * bw= 224.87 lbs. * bp= 131/80 (68)

Exercise: * morning stretches, balance exercises, kegel pelvic floor exercises, half squats, calf raises, wall push-ups, BP breathing exercises, pilates

Diet: * 04:55 – 1 banana, 1 little cupcake * 08:00 – pizza * 18:00 – garden salad

Activities, Chores, etc.: * 04:10 – listen to local news talk radio * 04:35 – bank accounts activity monitored . * 05:00 – read, write, pray, follow news reports from various sources, surf the socials, nap * 12:30 – Go to Retina Doc appointment * 16:30 – home from the Retina Doc. After having received injections in both eyeballs, can still barely see * 18:00 – tuned into 105.3 The Fan ahead of tonight's Rangers / White Sox game.

Chess: * 09:00 – moved in all pending CC games

Chapter 1: When You Realize You May Not Be Seeing Clearly

You can sit with an open Bible in front of you and still feel unsettled by a passage you have read before. Maybe it happens late at night, after the house is quiet, when you are too tired to pretend you have everything figured out. You read Mark 8 and stop at the blind man because something about his healing does not fit the neat picture in your head. If you have ever wanted to watch why Jesus healed the blind man twice in Mark 8, you are not alone. The story is brief, but the question stays with you.

The man is brought to Jesus by people who want him healed. Jesus takes him by the hand, leads him outside the village, and begins the healing in a way that feels strange to us. After the first touch, the man can see, but not clearly. People look like trees walking around. Then Jesus touches him again, and his sight becomes clear. It belongs beside a deeper reflection on what it means to see Jesus clearly, because the real tension may not be about whether Jesus had enough power the first time.

Think about how unsettling it is to discover that you have misunderstood something important. A father may believe his teenage son is becoming distant because he does not care, only to learn that the boy has been afraid to admit he is struggling. We can look directly at someone, hear their words, and still fail to understand what is happening inside them. Seeing something is not always the same as seeing it clearly.

That is what makes this miracle feel so personal. The man is no longer blind after the first touch, but neither is his vision complete. He is somewhere in between. Most of us dislike that middle place. We want faith to feel settled. We want our understanding of Jesus to be finished. We want to know that what we believe today will never need to be corrected tomorrow.

Yet the disciples were already close to Jesus when they faced this same problem. They had heard His teaching, watched His miracles, and traveled beside Him. Just before this healing, Jesus asked whether they had eyes but still failed to see. He was speaking to people who were already following Him.

That is the quiet challenge in Mark 8. You can love Jesus sincerely and still carry assumptions about Him that need to change. You can believe and still misunderstand. You can be faithful and still discover that something you considered clear was only partial sight. Spiritual growth may sometimes begin with a harder prayer than asking Jesus to show us something new. It may begin when we ask Him to show us where we have been looking at Him for years and still have not seen Him clearly.

Chapter 2: When Faith Has to Survive the Middle

A woman sits in her car outside a grocery store with the engine off and both hands resting on the steering wheel. She has prayed about the same family problem for months. Some things have improved, but not enough for her to call it resolved. She can point to small signs of hope, yet she still does not know where the situation is going. That uncomfortable space between nothing changing and everything being restored can feel a lot like the blind man standing before Jesus after the first touch.

He was not where he had been, but he was not yet where he wanted to be.

That part of the story matters because many of us live much of our faith in the middle. We have seen enough of Jesus to trust Him, but we still have questions. We have experienced answers to prayer, but other prayers remain open. We have grown, but there are still habits, fears, assumptions, and wounds that distort what we see.

We sometimes treat uncertainty as evidence that something is wrong with our faith. Mark 8 suggests something more patient. The man's incomplete sight was not the end of his encounter with Jesus. Jesus did not abandon him because the first moment left him seeing imperfectly. He stayed with him.

That can change the way we think about our own unfinished places.

Maybe you understand forgiveness better than you used to, but there is still one person whose name changes the atmosphere inside you. Maybe you believe God is trustworthy, yet financial pressure makes you check your bank account three times before bed. Maybe you know Jesus tells you not to live in fear, but a medical test is coming and your mind keeps traveling toward the worst possible result.

Those things do not have to become evidence that Jesus has left you.

Sometimes they simply reveal where your vision still needs attention.

There is humility in the blind man's answer. Jesus asks him what he sees, and the man does not exaggerate. He does not say, “Everything is perfect now,” because he thinks that is what a person who has been touched by Jesus is supposed to say. He tells the truth. He can see people, but they look like trees.

I think we need more of that kind of honesty in faith.

There are times when the most faithful sentence we can say is, “Jesus, I know You have done something in me, but I still cannot see this clearly.”

There is no shame in bringing Jesus the blurry part.

The dangerous thing is pretending it is clear when it is not.

Peter will soon call Jesus the Messiah, and he will be right. Yet almost immediately he will resist Jesus when Jesus explains the suffering that lies ahead. Peter has enough sight to recognize Christ, but not enough yet to understand the road Christ will walk.

That sounds uncomfortable because we would like spiritual maturity to mean we eventually become people who never misunderstand God.

But perhaps maturity looks different.

Maybe it means we become less defensive when Jesus corrects us.

We stop needing every belief we have held for years to remain untouched. We stop assuming that because we know Scripture, attend church, or have followed Christ for a long time, there is nothing left for Him to clarify.

The middle is not always a failure.

Sometimes it is where Jesus is still teaching us to see.

Chapter 3: When Clearer Sight Changes the Way You Follow

A man leaves a difficult meeting at work and realizes he has spent the whole afternoon thinking about how unfairly he was treated. By the time he reaches home, he has already rehearsed the argument in his head ten different ways. Then, later that evening, something shifts. He starts asking a different question. Instead of only asking, “How do I prove I was right?” he asks, “Jesus, what are You trying to show me about the way I respond when I feel overlooked?” The situation has not changed. His vision of it has.

That is where the healing in Mark 8 reaches into ordinary life. Clearer sight does not always mean receiving more information. Sometimes it means seeing the same situation through a different heart.

The disciples needed that kind of correction. They expected strength to look like control, victory, and visible power. Jesus kept showing them that His way would also include humility, sacrifice, suffering, and trust. Their problem was not that they had no faith. Their problem was that their picture of faith still needed to be sharpened.

The same can be true for us.

We may assume that if God is with us, the path should become easier. We may think answered prayer should always look like immediate relief. We may believe spiritual strength means never feeling afraid, tired, confused, or discouraged. Then life refuses to fit the picture we have carried, and we wonder whether something has gone wrong.

Maybe the picture needs another touch.

Seeing Jesus clearly changes what we expect from Him and what we expect from ourselves. It gives us permission to be honest about what is still blurry without turning that honesty into despair. It teaches us to stop confusing certainty with faith. It reminds us that following Jesus is not about forcing life to fit our expectations. It is about allowing Him to keep shaping the way we see.

The blind man did not heal himself by trying harder to focus. He stayed with Jesus.

That may be the most practical invitation in this entire story. When something feels unclear, stay near Him. Read slowly. Pray honestly. Ask better questions. Be willing to admit when an old assumption no longer fits what Jesus is showing you. Do not rush to call every confusing season a failure.

Sometimes clarity comes in stages.

Sometimes faith grows that way too.

And maybe the surprising part of this miracle is not that Jesus touched the man twice. Maybe the surprising part is how often we need Him to keep touching the way we see.

Your friend,

Douglas Vandergraph

Explore the complete Douglas Vandergraph Master Index:

https://douglasvandergraph.com/douglas-vandergraph-master-index/

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s faith-based videos on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@douglasvandergraph

The last of him

You already know who he is and how he operates. You know his silence isn't a weapon or a game, but the byproduct of a life lived at maximum capacity. You’ve sat with the awkwardness of the distance, you’ve wrestled with feeling “silly” for caring so much, and yet, underlying all of it, you still carry this deep, genuine affection for him.

​If you stay behind, you'll be left sitting in your room at 10:30 p.m. with the what-ifs. You'll spend the winter wondering if you let fear, or the fear of looking like you cared “too much”, rob you of one last afternoon on the water.

​Going doesn't mean you have to demand answers, fix the silence, or force a storybook ending. It just means showing up as yourself; grounded, open, and willing to take the experience for what it is. It's a chance to step into his world one more time, watch him do what he loves, feel the cold river, and write the final line of this season on your own terms.

​If it’s quiet, let it be quiet. If it’s warm and funny, hold onto that. But give yourself the gift of a proper closing chapter instead of a question mark.

​Go fishing. Be in the magic of it, soak in the wildness, and let yourself say goodbye to this chapter while standing right in the middle of it.

I held a piece of fresh bread near Usain Bolt. Nothing happened. I put that same piece of bread into a toaster, and then turned the toaster on. A few minutes later it popped up, and the bread was toast! That appliance is better at making toast than Usain Bolt. It's not very headline worthy. I keep seeing headlines about other appliances doing things that are being compared to human athletic achievements. Even sometimes stories in the Sports section. Why? What they do has absolutely nothing to do with sport or athleticism. They should be in Popular Mechanics. Like, hey, check this shit out, I wasted the last decade of my life building a thing that looks like a person running! They also need to stop allowing the things to be in human running events. It's just a matter of time before one malfunctions and hurts an athlete or spectator, or gets in the way of an actual athlete breaking a real world record or getting a personal best.

Why is this blog called “The Third Alternative”?

What is this all about, anyway? Well, you've come to the right place for answers. Originally, the title came form a song by the metal band Monster Magnet, but there is nothing beyond that linking the blog to the song or its lyrics. It's just a band I like, and I thought it was a cool song name.

We often see extreme opposites all around us, and many people convinced their way is the best way. It's at the heart of most conflicts. This religion versus that one. This ideology versus that one. This color versus that one. But if you take the time to look deeper, you will notice very few things are black and white. Most thigs in the world are some shade of gray. When two perspectives collide, look for that gray area, look for that third alternative, and you'll be closer to the truth.

Example: you drive to work and someone cuts you off and speeds 30 past the speed limit. You mumble a swear word and shake your head. You call that driver an asshole. You don't think anything past this. We have rules on the road and this driver is clearly a danger to society and, more importantly, a jerk for cutting you off. What if this is a man who just got a call from the hospital and his wife just showed up in ER? Sure, it may not justify putting others on the road at risk, but maybe you will feel less self-righteous judging this “dangerous driver” when you know the full story.

My blog title is a reminder to myself to consider these angles when I write about something divisive.

#opinion

Inbetweeners Part 4- Doors

One of the most unique characteristics of the early Inbetweeners Campaign was how the player characters moved around the world. As described previously, they were brought back to life slightly phased out of reality. As a result, they could not move linearly but instead warped between different locations. The portals through which they warped became known as “doors.” Each “room” had between one and four doors, or portals that would take them to another room. Most portals were two way, one could move back and forth. Others, however, might only move in one direction. Furthermore, some doors were hidden unless players achieved certain conditions, or could only be accessed while certain conditions unlocked.

This novel means of travel did create a few logistical issues in terms of gameplay. First off was the issue of players abusing the mechanic, being halfway through one door and another. This also created logistical issues for the DM— how does it work if atmospheric and other conditions vary vastly among the two locations? When players go through, can other NPCs see the alternate location? To resolve this, I decided the doors are only visible to the players and traveling through them was a binary. You were either in one room or another. So take for example The Market. This was a large, bustling market in a major town square. Two of the gates into and out of the market served as portals, as well as an abandon stall and a refuse trough. The gates were simple, if a character walked through one they'd suddenly be somewhere else, vanishing to anyone watching, whereas any NPC would just walk through the gate as normal. The abandon stall was a shopping stall with no vendor, if a player tried to go behind the table or into the stall they would suddenly find themselves in the dining room of an abandon haunted mansion, next to a table covered in cobwebs with skeletons sitting in each seat. The refuse trough was a disgusting trough of excrement, vomit, stagnant water and rotting food. If the players came close enough to touch it, they would suddenly disappear from the market and appear inside of a massive oven that immediately activates.

The “infernal oven” was interesting because the door out of it back to the market wasn't immediately accessible. Instead, they had to find a way to break through part of the oven to find a release hatch. So sometimes characters would not spawn directly next to the door they want through. This created another issue though- difficulty scaling. Some of the rooms were very challenging, and the players were only level 1. I needed a way for them to not be terrified to travel through new doors. If certain death could wait on the other side, it really disincentivizes exploration. Since the players were not the Interloper's first participants, he had encountered this issue before. Many participants would leave to explore the rooms and simply never return. My thought is that for each new batch of participants, they had a completely separate batch of doors and rooms, linked to the time and way in which they were brought back. Almost like RNG on a map generator. So, the Interloper needed to find a way to reduce attrition of his participants or he would never gather sufficient samples and research material. Since he exists slightly outside of space-time, he can use this to his advantage in limited ways. Basically, when players go through a door, there is a strong emotional anchor to how they react to what is on the other side. That small piece of information can be sent back in time enough to code a door. So the Interloper created a simple heuristic- green means relatively safe and red means relatively dangerous. The more red the door, the more dangerous whatever is behind it. So the most blindly bright red door was the one that led to Zariel's War Room. This makes sense because collectively all the devils behind it probably amounted to a CR 30 encounter. However, that doesn't mean the entities will immediately attack. Zariel's devils were more interested in interrogation to figure out how the characters penetrated the fortress. But, very dangerous, hence red. On the flip side, the market is green, since it is just a bustling market with various vendors. Basic town guards are present, but they only present a threat to minor criminals so no real threat there. A third category, purple, was used to indicate that a room was “interesting”. This means that it is unusual in some way, or has some feature that other doors/rooms do not. It says nothing about the threat level behind the door. The door that leads to a temple based on which religious relic or icon you present was purple. This makes sense because a temple of Chauntea would be completely safe, vs a temple of Bane might be very dangerous.

The doors did present some novel challenges. Since players couldn't leave a room except through a door, if they were captured, their captors would attempt to take them outside the area only for the players to appear on the other side. This made for some comical instances where the captors would repeatedly move them back only to realize they had to build a makeshift prison in place.

Later in the campaign, when players wanted to go to a specific location outside the rooms, the Interloper was able to create temporary doors, though sometimes they brought the players to a place slightly different than intended. There was also a branch of doors with no hue or warning. These were not created by the Interloper but rather by the Lady of Pain as she initially tests the Inbetweeners, though they were unaware of this at the time. Those doors held grave dangers but no warning.

Once the players had to flee the Grey Room after the Protectors of the Weave invaded and head to the Sigil for safety, they were then bound to Sigil for part of the campaign. In Sigil they moved about normally, since it is a four dimensional city run by the Lady of Pain, who herself was originally from outside the multiverse and as a result, operates on a different planar geometry. It was not until the players completed the Xalatra Questline (which there will be a later post about, at some point) that they were able to travel normally. This did involve covering their bodies with protective runes and then jumping through “The Maw”, which broken them down at a subatomic level and recreated them in such a way that the flaw in the Interloper's resurrection was fixed. At this point, the “door” mechanic in the campaign ended entirely. One could say the doors were a mechanic for the multiplanar dungeon crawl stage of the game, but no longer served a purpose when it broadened out into an epic fantasy.

Inspired by the 5 Albums post, I was thinking about the 5 fiction books that shaped me. I am going mostly from memory. I just want to list whatever comes to my mind first. These are all books that influenced my reading life in one way or another.

1. The Hobbit / Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien: Yeah, I know, not one book. I am already bending the rules here. But I cannot talk about LOTR without The Hobbit, and vice versa. I would also include The Silmarillion here as well. I was completely immersed in this fantasy world from the first time I read The Hobbit.

2. Dune by Frank Herbert: It has been a while since I read this one, but I remember it blew my mind back then. I am secretly afraid of re-reading this book and getting disappointed (I am not sure it aged well). But from what I remember, the complex politics and alien world elements got me super interested in this type of sci-fi.

3. I, Robot by Isaac Asimov: This is another one that I consider a whole series, but this was the first book I read. I loved learning about the positronic brain and the laws of robotics. It was fascinating to see a robopsychologist! I will also include The Caves of Steel and The Naked Sun here. Great sci-fi! I want to read them all again.

4. Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle: I absolutely love these books! I can read them over and over. They are great! I used to have a collection of used Sherlock Holmes books. The first time I read them, I borrowed them from the library. After that, I would go to used bookstores and try to find old editions. I love the way Sherlock Holmes pays attention to the smallest details and comes up with deductions using logical reasoning. When the mystery is solved, it is so satisfying!

5. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams: Again, the whole series is included here. These books are a masterpiece of clever humor with scientific nuggets of information. I love how it makes fun of technology, plays with the laws of physics, and is just so much fun. I recently listened to the first two audiobooks, and they are so good!

And now that listed them all I realized it's a list of 5 book series! Ok, I’ll change the title. So, there you go!

— Post 12 of #Blaugust #Books

Yesterday, we had nothing. nothing to say nor complain about. but today? Oh, today we have a complaint. ladies and gentlemen, we are officially back with my basic complaints, so get comfortable. get your blankets, lock the closet, check under the bed. because we’re doing horror today, or, well, what they’ve decided to call “horror”. though, i think i missed the horror somewhere. i went to watch ‘Insidious: Out of the Further’ today, and before anyone gets offended, yes. i found it boring. i think i have finally figured out my problems with horror movies, i dont actually like them. shocking? i know. its just that whenever a movie proudly labels itself “horror” i expect at least some sense of horror, fear. tension. something that makes me sit there and think, maybe i shouldn’t turn the light off tonight. Hasn’t happend once. not a single horror movie ive watched has actually frightened me. not even enough to give me that stupid feeling of checking the corner of my room afterwards. they’re just boring. something jumps out, someone screams too loudly, and the music gets awfully loud, and thats supposed to be terrifying? im supposed to be terrifed? No, i know its acting im not as dumb as you, i know the ghosts arent real and nobody is actually being dragged yadda yadda. the part that i hate the most. nothing feels honest, everything feels staged in the most obvious way possible. the characters behave like any other “horror” movie is expected to behave, act idiotic, scream at nothing and decide to investigate noises alone because common sense was left outside. and Insidious does plenty of that. plently of nonsense, basic horror movie act, oh a dark creepy house, oh strange things happening. How scary, seriously? you call that horror? someone needs to speak to the movie directors i think they accidentally made a childrens bedtime story and forgot to add the bedtime. i almost fell asleep. give me something that feels possible. something that doesnt announce itself with dramatic music and conveniently timed shadow. otherwise, congratulations. you made me stare at a screen with popcorn loud chewers for two hours and feel absolutely nothing but annoyed. boring to dust.

Anyway, that was my complaint for today. tomorrow i’ll find something else to complain about. im sure the world will provide me something as dumb as staying in a notoriously haunted house and treating a literal face scraping demon like an obnoxious roommate who refuses to pay rent.

Sincerely, Dont watch horror movies, kids. you might mistake it for bedtime stories.

Finished only this morning, another title by Jenny Erpenbeck, The Book of Words, a 150-page novella detailing a woman’s recollections of childhood, which take on a progressively more menacing and unnerving cast as they go on. Compared to Go Went Gone, it’s perhaps more stylistically refined — beautifully well-written — though meanwhile a little less to my taste than the later novel. The translation, again by Susan Bernofsky, seems excellent.

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On Saturday I read The Other Girl by Annie Ernaux, translated from the French by Alison L. Strayer. This is a very slim volume, with the body of the text not amounting to fifty pages, so it didn’t take long to traverse it. At the bookshop in Chepstow that morning I’d first picked up a different Fitzcarraldo title, and had then wondered if there were any of their several volumes of Ernaux’s memoirs & essays on the shelves: as it happened, there was only this one. The book is in the form of a letter by Ernaux to the sister she never met. Ginette Duchesne had died aged 6, in 1938, of diphtheria. Annie was born two years later. As she recalls it, her parents never directly talked to her about her sister, and she describes overhearing her mother talk about ‘the other girl’ only once. Nor did Ernaux ever question her parents about Ginette, whose unspoken absence nevertheless continued to haunt them all:

...you and I were fated to be only children. Their desire to have just one child, which they made very clear (we couldn’t do for two what we are doing for one), meant it was either you or me, but not both... It took almost thirty years [...] for it to hit me: I was born because you died, and I replaced you.

It’s a powerful little book. At times reading it felt uncomfortably like intruding on a series of private moments. On the strength it I’m now keen to read Ernaux’s The Years, though I don’t know if I’ll want to venture much further into her bibliography than that.

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No new music arrived this week. Instead I can mention a couple of recent acquisitions overlooked in previous posts: Grasshopper (1982) by J.J. Cale, and Quiet (1996) by John Scofield. After Naturally, Troubadour and Travel-Log, Grasshopper is my fourth J.J. Cale album on vinyl. I don’t think it’s unfair to say it’s neither one of the best nor the worst of his records: even so, mid-tier J.J. is well worth my time & attention. ‘City Girls’ was the lead single from it, and perhaps its most memorable tune.

Reading on-line about John Scofield’s album A Go Go, which I bought last month, I saw it had followed a very different release, Quiet, on which the guitarist had played only acoustically, accompanied by drums, bass, and a seven piece horn section, augmented on a couple of numbers by Wayne Shorter on the tenor sax. I obtained a reasonably inexpensive second-hand CD copy via ebay. It’s a subtle and low-key collection of good tunes in elaborate arrangements, all beautifully played. It may not be among Scofield’s best-regarded albums, but it hits a sweet spot for me. Opener ‘After the Fact’ establishes the mood very nicely.

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After finishing a bottle of Ardbeg last month, I opened something very different on Wednesday evening in the shape of ‘The Targe 30 year-old Highland Single Grain scotch whisky’. When I bought it at Lidl the year before last it was originally earmarked as a gift for someone else. Plans changed, and I kept it instead in reserve for myself. Its time to shine has now finally arrived. My one prior experience of a single grain whisky (sampled decades ago), hadn’t thrilled me, but, on the grounds that it’s all too seldom I can afford to try anything that has languished in a cask for thirty years, I’d been curious to try this one anyway. It’s a light & clean sort of dram, with initial impressions of mellow sweetness in which I discerned notes of coconut crumb and vanilla. Unsurprisingly there is woodiness too, with a typical whisky sourness eventually also asserting itself. It’s very smooth and affable with no murky depths: an interesting change of scenery I think I’ll enjoy.

Agosto | Preguntas sin respuesta

¿Quién me está lastimando?

Me siento triste.

Tengo una batalla interna entre lo que quiero y lo que no quiero. Tengo los ojos llenos de lágrimas. Tenía mucho tiempo que no lloraba, y mucho menos por situaciones así.

Por eso no me gusta sentir.

Siento que cuando lo hago, saco lo peor de mí.

Pero ¿Qué es la vida sin un poco de dolor?

Y entonces aparece la pregunta que no sé contestar:

¿Qué es realmente lo que me lastima?

¿Mi cabeza? ¿La realidad? ¿Quién me lastima? ¿O me lastimo yo misma?

¿Por qué idealizo a la gente? ¿Por qué me cuesta tanto hacer preguntas? ¿Por qué no me doy mi lugar?

¿Por qué, por qué, por qué...?

Por eso me alejo.

Por eso prefiero no sentir nada. Por eso me cierro.

Porque sé que cuando siento, siento demasiado.

No puedo controlar mis emociones. Mis ojos no dejan de llorar y ya no quiero sentirme así.

A veces incluso creo que me lo merezco.

Pero, realmente, ¿Qué mal he hecho yo para merecerlo?

No creo que ninguno.

¿O exagero la realidad?

¿Cómo puedo vivir en la realidad cuando tengo que lidiar con mis miedos y mis deseos?

¿Y qué deseo?

Libertad. Independencia. Amor. Conocer el mundo. Viajar.

Básicamente creo que todo eso es lo mismo.

Pero entonces, ¿Qué tiene de único? ¿Qué tiene de diferente?

Tengo miedo de morir sin amar de verdad.

Tengo miedo de no hacer lo que quiero porque mi cabeza no me lo permita.

Tengo miedo de no vivir.

De no vivir mientras pueda.

Porque si algo sé es que la vida no es eterna.

Entonces, ¿por qué desperdiciar el tiempo?

¿Por qué dar las cosas por sentadas?

¿Por qué conformarse?

Me da miedo ser conformista.

Me da miedo sentir tanto.

Porque cuando uno siente mucho por las personas, también les da el poder de lastimarnos.

Así me pasó.

Con mi mejor amiga.

Ella también me duele.

A veces no entiendo por qué la perdí.

Y tengo miedo.

Tengo miedo de no ser amable conmigo.

De reprocharme tanto.

De sentir que merezco sufrir.

De pensar que las personas son superiores a mí.

¿Por qué no soy amable conmigo?

¿Por qué no pienso de mí lo mismo que pienso de los demás?

Siempre trato de ver lo mejor de todos.

¿Por qué no puedo hacer lo mismo conmigo misma?

¿Por qué siempre veo mis defectos?

Es como verme en un espejo y estar buscando constantemente un error.

Pero ¿por qué?

Quizá esa sea la pregunta que queda cuando todas las demás se han agotado.

No sé quién me está lastimando.

No sé si es la realidad, mi cabeza, las personas que quiero o la forma en que he aprendido a quererlas.

Pero esta noche, por primera vez en mucho tiempo, estoy llorando.

Y quizá no tenga que encontrar una respuesta todavía.

Quizá por ahora solo necesito dejar de preguntarme qué está mal conmigo.

Quizá necesito aprender a mirarme sin buscar un error.

A Quick Win.

I won this club-based CC (Correspondence Chess) game this morning with a Queen-Rook combination Checkmate on my 25th move. We started play on 08 August, so that means only 17 days transpired from the game's opening move until its conclusion. For me, that's a very quick game. I prefer playing with at least 3 days allowed per move. I have some games now in progress where my opponents and I are allowed 14 days per move.

Anyway, the position of pieces at game's end is shown above, and our full move record follows: 1. d4 d5 2. Nc3 Nf6 3. Nf3 Nc6 4. e3 Bf5 5. Bb5 Qd7 6. Ne5 Nxe5 7. Bxd7+ Nexd7 8. O-O e6 9. Re1 O-O-O 10. a4 Kb8 11. b4 Bxb4 12. Bb2 e5 13. a5 Bxc3 14. Bxc3 exd4 15. Bxd4 Rhg8 16. Rb1 c5 17. Bc3 Ne4 18. Bb2 g6 19. Qxd5 Ndf6 20. Be5+ Kc8 21. Qxb7# 1-0

And the adventure continues.