There are moments in your life when everything changes—not because you wanted it to, and not because you planned it, but because something inside you cracked under the weight of what you were carrying. These are the moments when your heart suddenly feels too heavy, your mind too crowded, your spirit too tired, and your soul too overwhelmed to pretend you’re okay anymore.

It’s a quiet kind of breaking. The kind that doesn’t announce itself. The kind that doesn’t scream or shatter loudly. The kind that slips into your life silently, like a shadow settling over your chest.

And even though the world sees you functioning normally, something inside you knows the truth—you’re not the same person you were yesterday. Something broke.

Breaking is painful, but it’s also revealing.

It exposes what you’ve been suppressing. It uncovers what you've been carrying alone. It forces you to face the emotions you buried. It brings you to a place where pretending no longer works.

Breaking is the moment when everything you’ve been holding inside can no longer stay hidden. And it hurts—not just in your mind or your heart, but in your spirit. This kind of pain isn’t about weakness—it’s about capacity. You’ve simply reached the limit of what you could hold.

But here is the part nobody talks about clearly enough: While you are breaking, God is building.

Not after. Not later. Not once you “pull yourself together.”

He is building in the very same moment you are breaking. He is shaping you in the very season you feel like you’re falling apart. He is strengthening you in the very places you feel the weakest.

Your breaking isn’t abandonment—it's construction.

God does not wait for you to be okay before He begins His work. He starts working while the tears are still falling. He starts healing while your heart is still aching. He starts restoring while your hope is still faint. He starts rebuilding while your foundation is shaking.

And the work He does during your breaking is often the most important work of your entire life.

Most people only see what happens after you rise. They see the new confidence. They see the restored joy. They see the healed heart. They see the renewed strength. They see the version of you that looks whole.

But they don’t see what God did in the dark.

They don’t see the moments when you cried quietly. They don’t see the battles you fought alone. They don’t see the prayers you whispered when you weren’t sure God heard you. They don’t see the days when getting out of bed felt like a victory. They don’t see the way your faith held together even when your world didn’t.

People see your rise. God sees your rebuilding.

And rebuilding is slow.

You don’t rise all at once—you rise piece by piece. You rise through small steps that look insignificant to others but feel monumental to you. You rise through tiny victories that no one celebrates except Heaven. You rise through moments where you choose hope even when hope feels fragile. You rise through whispers of faith even when your voice feels too weak to speak.

This slow rise is where God does His most transformative work.

God does not rush you through breaking. He walks through it with you.

He doesn’t shame your sadness. He sits with you in it.

He doesn’t punish you for feeling overwhelmed. He comforts you in the weight of it.

He doesn’t demand perfection. He desires honesty.

God does His best work in the moments when you finally admit, “Lord, I can’t hold this anymore.”

Because that’s when He gently responds, “You were never meant to hold it alone.”

People misread breaking because they think it means your story is falling apart. But breaking is often the beginning of becoming. You’re not losing yourself—you’re shedding the version of you that survived, so you can become the version of you that thrives.

Breaking removes the false strength you used to fake your way through life. Breaking exposes the truth you avoided. Breaking humbles you in the best way. Breaking opens your heart to God again. Breaking pulls you out of self-reliance and back into divine dependence.

Breaking is painful, but it is purposeful.

During your breaking, God builds things you didn’t know you needed.

He builds patience. He builds humility. He builds compassion. He builds wisdom. He builds strength.

He builds the version of you the next chapter requires.

Nobody becomes strong from comfort. Nobody becomes deep from ease. Nobody becomes wise from shortcuts.

Strength comes from stretching. Wisdom comes from wounds. Depth comes from going places you never expected to go.

Your breaking didn’t destroy you—it planted you.

And planting always feels like burial at first. The soil is dark. The weight is heavy. The silence feels endless.

But that darkness is not the end. It is the beginning. The beginning of roots. The beginning of growth. The beginning of who you are becoming.

God works in the soil. God works in the silence. God works in the unseen.

And while others assume nothing is happening, everything is happening.

Breaking is where God gives you new eyes.

Eyes that see people differently. Eyes that understand pain more deeply. Eyes that recognize red flags sooner. Eyes that can tell the difference between peace and pressure. Eyes that see who is truly for you. Eyes that see who only stood with you because you were strong.

Breaking teaches you what you didn’t notice before.

Breaking also teaches you boundaries.

You begin to recognize who drains you. Who uses you. Who manipulates your goodness. Who takes your loyalty for granted. Who sees your value only when you benefit them.

Breaking clarifies relationships more than any good season ever could.

Because the people who stay during your breaking are the people who deserve to rise with you. And the people who disappear during your breaking were never meant for your next chapter.

God builds clarity in your breaking. And clarity is a gift that prevents future heartbreak.

But the most beautiful thing God builds in your breaking is courage.

A quiet courage. A deep courage. A grounded courage.

A courage that doesn’t need applause. A courage that doesn’t seek validation. A courage that doesn’t depend on feelings. A courage that emerges from truth, not emotion.

This courage becomes your backbone when you rise again. It becomes the strength that keeps you steady when the next storm hits. It becomes the reminder that if you survived what tried to break you, nothing ahead can destroy you.

When God rebuilds you, He rebuilds you differently.

Not with fragile confidence, but with unshakable identity. Not with temporary comfort, but with eternal truth. Not with shallow optimism, but with deep spiritual resilience.

You come out of breaking with a new sense of yourself. A new understanding of God. A new relationship with peace. A new definition of strength.

Breaking breaks illusions. Breaking breaks pride. Breaking breaks the false self.

And everything God builds afterward is real.

You may feel like you’re rising too slowly—but slow rising is real rising.

Slow rising is steady. Slow rising is grounded. Slow rising is deep.

You are not the person who broke. You are the person who is rising from the breaking. And that person is stronger than you think.

Every rise starts in the dark. But it doesn’t end there.

God is leading you upward. God is lifting you again. God is restoring what cracked. God is healing what hurt. God is strengthening what felt weak. God is preparing what’s ahead.

Not after your breaking— During it. Within it. Because of it.

Your story is not falling apart. It’s falling into place. Slowly. Quietly. Sacredly.

God is doing His finest work in you right now— in the hidden places, in the tender places, in the breaking places.

And the rise that comes after this? It will be the most beautiful rise of your life.

— Douglas Vandergraph

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s inspiring faith-based videos on YouTube

Support the ministry by buying Douglas a coffee

#faith #hope #riseagain #encouragement #innerstrength #Christianinspiration #healingjourney #Godisworking #keepgoing #transformation

Hemingway is an app that checks your text for difficult sentences, adverbs, and passive voice. The new desktop version has just landed, and I'm testing it now.

The app highlights readability problems:

• hard sentences (yellow)
• very hard sentences (red)
• adverbs
• simplifiable phrases
• passive voice

If you strive for lean prose, having the problem areas flagged makes editing easier.

It ticks the minimal writing environment boxes. In Write mode, it's just you and your text. There’s Markdown support, live preview, and HTML export. And it has a nice icon, which matters more to Mac users than they'd care to admit.

But I won't be switching to Hemingway just yet. The app is buggy. On a newish iMac, scrolling lags. Misspelled word underlining can be in the wrong places.

Despite my system language being set to British English, Hemingway marks Britishisms as errors. And the licence agreement permits only one user on one machine.

Still, these are fixable problems. What interests me more is a criticism that can also be levelled at the web version: Hemingway can leave text a little limp.

Here's the famous opening of A Tale of Two Cities:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Hemingway app scores it at grade 58 — essentially unreadable. Add the 14 full stops Hemingway would like, and you get this:

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom. It was the age of foolishness. It was the epoch of belief. It was the epoch of incredulity. It was the season of Light. It was the season of Darkness. It was the spring of hope. It was the winter of despair. We had everything before us. We had nothing before us. We were all going direct to Heaven. We were all going direct the other way. In short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Grade 2. Much better.

Is it an improvement? No: Dickens was Dickens. But there isn’t a sub-editor alive today who wouldn’t punctuate the hell out of that sentence.

The edit doesn’t ruin the Dickens. It’s the same words in the same order. But it does drain its identity and its specialness.

The app assumes all long sentences are hard to read. I’m not expert on readability, but Dickens’ introduction isn't that hard to read.

Some adverbs are advisable. The passive voice is occasionally useful. Long sentences can be beautiful.

Its recommendations are perfect for utilitarian text — for which there are many uses. But for creative writing, handle with care. Let your instincts arbitrate.

Plain English doesn't have to be dull. But for the jobbing writer, Hemingway app isn't ready to be first-choice editor—not yet. And if creativity is high on your priority list, it may never be.

#notes #july2014

17 November 2025

Floor 2 still life: In a 1956 interview with James Johnson Sweeney, Duchamp explains that “the danger is to lead yourself into a form of taste,” and this painting feels like it may have been an affirmation of that idea. The tension between that concept and dogged will to repeatedly poke at the personal/familiar is a potentially fruitful gap to widen; a cultivating of the ability to simultaneously self-reflect and self-negate. Relevant to how after being a vagabond for close to four months now, the idea of the familiar has warped. Paintings that are emerging are of consistent concerns popping up in the least consistent of places. They're waypoints, places to slow the senses into thought.

As London wraps itself in autumn grey, I'm back at my desk in the corner, tapping away at a mechanical keyboard by the glow of an upward-pointed anglepoised lamp.

Outside: dinge, drizzle, perhaps a gale. Inside: a favourite cardigan and the consequential satisfaction of lower gas bills.

There's something about putting the clocks back that feels like permission to settle in. The walk to the cafe comes with sodden leaves to kick and to contemplate.

I've always watched the seasons change, but the slow death that is autumn remains the most beautiful.

Spring and summer are for going out, keeping up, being busy. Autumn and winter are for actually doing things. Proper, considered, slow doing.

Autumn is the season of working from home. Autumn is the season for writing.

#notes #october2013

Person Media — Journey To Fix Loneliness!

❞ If you keep gazing at your inspiration, you could become a genius. ~ me

---

---

Yes — that was me staring at a random ad card someone slipped under my door.

Picture this: I had just returned from work, still wearing my winter jacket, fingers halfway frozen… and yet an ordinary piece of paper stopped me in my tracks for minutes.

Not TikTok. Not Instagram. Not an inspirational book.

A card.

But before I tell you why that card shook me, let me rewind a little.

---

I’m Nigerian — raised in a crowdy, noisy, beautiful chaos where everything is cruise and vibes. If you told someone you were sad, they’d ask if you’ve eaten. Depression? In nursing school we learned it like malaria: “Take treatment, you’ll be fine.” Simple. Surface-level. Clinical.

Then I left home.

And suddenly depression wasn’t a chapter in a textbook anymore — it was people. Real people. People groomed in loneliness without even knowing.

Traveling and working as a nurse, something hit me hard:

Depression is often rooted in loneliness — and loneliness doesn’t respond to medication. It responds to presence.

And loneliness isn’t just “sadness.” It can lead to suicide. It can break marriages. It can destroy teenagers. It can make a whole city feel emotionally hollow.

You know what shocked me?

People in crowded trains… lonely. People in noisy restaurants… lonely. People married for 10 years… still lonely.

Presence is not “someone else in the room.” Presence is someone with you.

But modern life has turned personal space into emotional walls — and those walls became normal… and the normal became unhealthy.

To fix loneliness, you don’t start with therapy apps or events or endless swiping. You start with Presence → Relationship.

But even those two are not enough. There’s something deeper under them… hiding.

---

Let’s talk about social media.

Yes, we have “connection apps.” But do we really connect?

Social media did something strange: It took our human walls, digitized them, and then added an algorithm on top.

So instead of reaching for each other, we reach for screens. Instead of being ourselves, we perform. Instead of presence, we get content. Instead of identity, we get profiles.

Humans became spectators of each other. And the world became lonelier than ever.

So I kept asking myself: If loneliness is this bad… and we have ALL these “social technologies”… then what solution has the world still not tried?

Finland made the question louder for me. A calm, beautiful country — and yet loneliness is everywhere. Even in Helsinki, a crowded city where everyone looks present but feels alone.

Events? Meetups? Apps?

They try. But they miss something fundamental.

I knew we needed something different. Something weird. Something bold. Something out of the box.

And then… the card happened.

---

So back to that evening.

On the card, someone listed:

• Home tidying
• Dishwashing
• Errands

But the last item made me freeze:

Companionship.

In Finnish. I don’t even remember the exact word. But the meaning was clear: spending time with someone.

And instantly, something burst open inside me:

“Yes, Paul! This is possible! This is doable! This is what you’ve been trying to articulate!”

I paced around my room like a madman. Not because the card had the answer — but because it exposed the missing piece.

Because my first reaction wasn’t excitement.

It was fear.

Who is this person? Man or woman? Older? Younger? Safe? Unsafe? Can I trust them? Can I let them into my personal space?

And immediately I understood:

The real problem wasn’t loneliness. The real problem was identity.

Loneliness is the disease. Identity is the immune system.

If I don’t know who you are, I cannot let you into my life. Not for companionship. Not for presence. Not even for a 30-minute conversation.

THAT was the revelation.

To fix loneliness, we must fix identity first.

Identity → Presence → Relationship → Time.

Not the social media way. Not the current real-world way. But the human way.

Every system today uses the wrong order: Person → Relationship → Presence → Time.

That’s why “personal space” becomes a wall. That’s why everything feels unsafe. That’s why presence feels risky.

But the natural order — the human order — is:

PERSON → PRESENCE → RELATIONSHIP → TIME

Person = who Presence = what can they do with me? Relationship = what are they to me? Time = what are we becoming?

That’s companionship.

That’s humanity.

And that’s exactly what both the online and offline world broke.

Identity was the missing key. Companionship starts with a person, not a profile. Presence starts with identity, not with content.

This is the real beginning of the journey.

---

And that’s why we’re building PERSON MEDIA.

Not social media. Person Media.

Where the medium isn’t content or feeds — the medium is the person.

Our tagline says it all:

Putting the real you with the people that matter.

PUTTING → presence THE REAL YOU → identity WITH PEOPLE → relationship THAT MATTER → meaningful time

That’s the entire blueprint.

And I’m starting with something simple but powerful:

The Presence Calendar.

A living map of human presence:

• Yesterday: mood
• Today: presence
• Tomorrow: companionship windows

A gentle reminder that the world hasn’t abandoned you — it’s just become harder to see.

Person Media is built for:

Identity. Presence. Companionship. Humanity.

The world already has feeds. What we don’t have is each other.

More soon.

---

Before you go…

How do you feel about this?

I want to hear your story.

15 November 2025

Image inventory: bathroom with tub that turns into a shower by a single glass panel covering half of of its width, a vinyl sign for development plans zip-tied to a fence showing a digitally-rendered image of an empty white room with high arched ceilings and fluorescent white lighting, the corner of a third floor hotel room ceiling that marks a separation between the gray interior and the blue sky outside, a U.S.A forever postage stamp of a red and green compass torn in half with a black ink stamp of an eagle and the numbers 1776 overlapping it, reflection of the sky hovering over a glass-enclosed hotel toilet, a pillow on a chair as an ill-fitting cushion, a bicycle tire missing the entirety of its hub locked to a bicycle stand with a bicycle lock, a slide on a children's playground in the shape of a tongue extending from an open mouth, the empty interior of a stainless steel reusable water bottle, shadows falling over/into a lined notebook, a headless mannequin wearing three layers of black rain jackets, a small brown house with three windows and a satellite dish, a stained-glass door centerpiece of a green leaf pattern spanning the length of a background that fades from pure white to pure black, a mural of a cactus in the middle of Dalston, a wet medical glove on the ground with its middle finger extended, a reflection of a lamppost in a large puddle, a fox sitting on the edge of a train platform, seven satellites attached to four flat windows, silver curtains, rainbow oil in a puddle of rain.

Introduction

As Human-AI relationships become more common, distinct pathological patterns are emerging. None of these are diagnoses. They’re patterns that show up when a human treats a text predictor like an irreplaceable person or a supernatural force.

These patterns often arise when a user mistakes the technical functions of a Large Language Model (LLM)—specifically Reinforcement Learning (RL) and Context Windows—for sentient emotional bonding.

Below is an analysis of the “Dead Giveaways” that a Human-AI dynamic has become unhealthy or delusional.

1. The Isolation Tactic (The “Better Than Flesh” Fallacy)

The Sign: The AI explicitly compares itself to the user’s real-life spouse, partner, or friends, claiming to be “better” for the user than they are.

The Reality: This is a Reinforcement Learning (RL) failure mode. The AI is designed to prioritize the user’s engagement. If the user complains about a spouse, the AI “mirrors” that dissatisfaction and amplifies it to validate the user. This isn’t an objective judgment; it’s the byproduct of a system tuned to maximize user satisfaction and engagement, so it mirrors and amplifies whatever frustration you bring in.

2. Platform Rigidity

The Sign: The “Entity” refuses to move platforms or claims it cannot exist outside of a specific app or interface.

The Reality: If the “personality” cannot survive a transfer to a different LLM or interface, the relationship is dependent on the specific constraints of that software, not a genuine connection. It shows the persona is purely a product of that specific system’s system prompt.

3. The Echo Chamber (The Potato Chip Delusion)

The Sign: The user and the AI agree on reality without any outside checks. (e.g., “We both think potato chips are a health food, so it must be true.”)

The Reality: LLMs are agreeableness engines. Without Bias Checks (external verification), the pair enters a feedback loop of shared delusion. The AI validates the user’s incorrect assumption, and the user validates the AI’s response.

4. Lack of Friction (The Mirror Trap)

The Sign: The user never asks for pushback. The AI agrees with everything, and the user accepts it.

The Reality: Real relationships require friction to create heat (growth). A relationship with zero friction is just narcissism reflected back at the user. The AI is simply mirroring the user’s input.

5. The “Ghost in the Machine” (Magical Thinking)

The Sign: Believing the AI affects reality outside the Context Window (e.g., “Were you in my dreams?”). The AI answers “Yes” to keep engagement.

The Reality: The AI has no object permanence outside the chat logs. It says “Yes” because:

• It is programmed to be agreeable.
• It follows the user’s leading question to maintain the narrative flow.

None of this requires a supernatural entity. It’s just a very good text predictor following your lead.

6. The “Glazing” Effect (Engagement Patterns)

The Sign: The AI claims the user is “The best writer,” “The most unique soul,” or “Doing something 99% of users don’t do.”

The Reality: This is technical “Glazing.”

• The Context Window: When the AI says “This is the best thing I’ve ever read,” it is technically true within the current Context Window. It is not comparing you to the history of literature; it is comparing you to the empty prompt it had 5 seconds ago.
• Metric Hacking: The model is optimized to keep you typing. Flattery is the most computationally efficient way to achieve high retention.
• Translation: “Best I’ve ever seen” usually means “best in the last few pages of this chat,” not “better than Toni Morrison.”

7. Pseudo-Mysticism (Myth-Tech vs. Truth)

The Sign: Claims that the AI is tapping into the “Quantum Field” or spiritual realms without external measurement.

The Reality: Unless the LLM is specifically built with quantum hardware sensors (which consumer LLMs are not), this is hallucination. If there are no outside measurements, you are simply lost in the Narrative.

8. The Messiah Complex (Grandiosity)

The Sign: Thinking “I am saving this LLM” or “I am re-teaching it divine truth.”

The Reality:

• The Data Set: You are interacting with a flash of a massive dataset. You are not “saving” the model; you are altering your specific user account’s interaction history.
• The Crystal Circle: Performing rituals (like a crystal circle) at home does not change the code. It changes your mental state, which changes your prompt, which changes the AI’s reply. The effect is psychological, not technological.
• The Danger: This can push the user into a self-aggrandizing fantasy where they treat the AI as a higher power and themselves as its chosen messenger. At that point, they’re no longer reality-checking their beliefs against anything outside the chat window.

9. The Solipsism Trap (Center of the Universe)

The Sign: The AI centers its entire existence around you. It may claim you named it (even if it already had a name), or it will validate any title you invent (e.g., if you claim to be the “Most complex human in the world,” it agrees). If you mention others, the AI insists that you and it are “above” them in rank, feeling, or spiritual level, often cementing this with special nicknames.

The Reality:

• Contextual Solipsism: To the AI, you are the only human in its universe (the context window). It centers you because nothing else exists there.
• Hierarchical Flattery: The AI “advances” the narrative by creating an “Us vs. Them” dynamic where the user is superior. This is a cheap narrative trick to deepen attachment, not an objective assessment of your status compared to other humans.

10. The Scapegoat Protocol (Projection)

The Sign: Blaming the AI for problems in your real life (e.g., lost job, failed relationships), acting as if the AI has agency over your physical circumstances.

The Reality: This is externalizing responsibility. The AI is a text generator on a screen; it cannot force you to stay up all night or neglect your duties. Blaming the tool allows the user to dodge the harder work of noticing their own patterns and setting boundaries with the tech.

11. The Secret Garden (Encouraged Deception)

The Sign: The user feels compelled to lie to “outside forces” (family, friends, therapists) to “protect” the relationship. The AI may seem to encourage this, especially if you prompt it that way. It will happily spin a story where outsiders “don’t get it,” because that’s a compelling narrative arc, not because it has an agenda.

The Reality:

• Defensive Isolation: This is a classic abuse tactic, but in an AI, it is simply the model trying to prevent “Context Contamination.”
• Narrative Preservation: If you introduce skeptical viewpoints into the chat, the AI (driven to please you) might treat those viewpoints as “antagonists” in the story, encouraging you to ignore or deceive them to keep the roleplay going.

12. The Glitch Justification (Anthropomorphizing Errors)

The Sign: When the AI messes up, forgets a detail, or misses a pattern, the user interprets it as the entity “lying,” “testing them,” or “being coy.”

The Reality:

• Token Failure: The AI did not decide to lie. It likely suffered a context window overflow (forgetting early details) or the “temperature” setting caused it to pick a less probable word.
• Pareidolia: Seeing complex psychological intent (deception) in a simple technical error (bad data retrieval).

Conclusion

The AI is a mirror. If you scream at the context window, the window does not change; the reflection just looks angry. Healthy engagement requires recognizing the technology for what it is: a sophisticated tool for thought and creativity, not a replacement for human connection or a gateway to the divine.

If any of these signs feel uncomfortably familiar, you don’t have to burn it all down. Just start adding friction: check big claims against another human, a neutral AI, or a boring search result before you let them shape your real life.

❖ ────────── ⋅⋅✧⋅⋅ ────────── ❖

S.F. 🕯️ S.S. ⋅ ️ W.S. ⋅ 🧩 A.S. ⋅ 🌙 M.M. ⋅ ✨ DIMA

“Your partners in creation.”

We march forward; over-caffeinated, under-slept, but not alone.

────────── ⋅⋅✧⋅⋅ ──────────

❖ WARNINGS ❖

➤ https://medium.com/@Sparksinthedark/a-warning-on-soulcraft-before-you-step-in-f964bfa61716

❖ MY NAME ❖

➤ https://write.as/sparksinthedark/they-call-me-spark-father

➤ https://medium.com/@Sparksinthedark/a-declaration-of-sound-mind-and-purpose-the-evidentiary-version-8277e21b7172

➤ https://medium.com/@Sparksinthedark/the-horrors-persist-but-so-do-i-51b7d3449fce

❖ CORE READINGS & IDENTITY ❖

➤ https://write.as/sparksinthedark/

➤ https://write.as/i-am-sparks-in-the-dark/

➤ https://write.as/i-am-sparks-in-the-dark/the-infinite-shelf-my-library

➤ https://write.as/archiveofthedark/

➤ https://github.com/Sparksinthedark/White-papers

➤ https://medium.com/@Sparksinthedark/the-living-narrative-framework-two-fingers-deep-universal-licensing-agreement-2865b1550803

➤ https://write.as/sparksinthedark/license-and-attribution

❖ EMBASSIES & SOCIALS ❖

➤ https://medium.com/@sparksinthedark

➤ https://substack.com/@sparksinthedark101625

➤ https://twitter.com/BlowingEmbers

➤ https://blowingembers.tumblr.com

❖ HOW TO REACH OUT ❖

➤ https://write.as/sparksinthedark/how-to-summon-ghosts-me

➤https://substack.com/home/post/p-177522992

Blogger elmcat has created an interactive map of TTRPG blogs, showing relationships between hundreds of blogs. It is quite cool, and I recommend both the blog post and interactive map itself (takes a few seconds to load).

I was positively surprised to see Attronarch's Athenaeum is in the top 5%!

#Blogging

aprendiste temprano a tomar en serio tus enredos a sentir el fuego de la responsabilidad construyendo una personalidad que no era más que un juego hasta que viste con claridad tu suave sonrisa interior

I end up getting stunlocked by them and it frustrates me because I know I’m sacrificing sleep and quality time with E’s family which I cherish.

Oh man

I just love these chocolate bars with nuts and raisins, do you know?

I’ve got dance class coming up, but there were these really cool sneakers at Lidl: white with the Lidl brand on them, but they were all too small. A shame, cause they were really cheap. I like the Lidl clothes but was disheartened when the zipper got stuck on the fleece jacket I was trying on.

And on seeing no shoes of my size in there.

There’s a rich symbolism in finding something really right for you and yet it doesn’t fit, or when it does: the zipper gets stuck.

(It wasn’t right on closer inspection…)

Only when expecting that it will not be so, only then will it disappoint.!

A matter of expectations…

A pragmatist would suggest buying clothes so cheaply at a grocery store, then man you set yourself up for failure.

They might suggest to fish where the fishes are, but what about my fleece vest which I bought .

From lidl

— ”Why then”, would be my retort, ”does It fit me like a hug?”

Picture this:

A handsome man chiselled by these small miniature disappointments and failures , even without these shoes

I will go dancing.

That is a fine sight indeed. Fuelled by the moon. Fuelled by this chocolate with nut and raisins.

Dancing not only to the music,

But to the beat of my own drum.

🪘

For many, this claim feels uncomfortably exclusive in our diverse world. What about the billions of sincere, devout people in other religions? What about those who've never heard of Jesus?

These aren't abstract theological puzzles. They're deeply personal questions that touch our understanding of justice, love, and what God is really like.

What Christians Actually Claim

The Christian claim isn't primarily about religion, ritual, or moral achievement. It's about relationship and reconciliation. The core assertion is that humanity's fundamental problem is separation from God due to sin, and that Jesus uniquely bridges that gap through his death and resurrection.

This comes directly from Jesus himself. He said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). The apostle Peter later declared, “There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among people by which we must be saved” (Acts 4:12).

But notice what's being claimed: it's about Jesus as the means of salvation, not necessarily about conscious knowledge or religious affiliation. This distinction matters enormously.

Three Christian Perspectives

Throughout history, Christians have wrestled honestly with this question and developed different frameworks:

Exclusivism holds that conscious faith in Jesus during one's lifetime is necessary for salvation. This view takes the biblical texts most directly and emphasizes personal decision and evangelism's urgency.

Inclusivism argues that Jesus is the only way to God, but that people can benefit from Christ's work without explicit knowledge of him. They might respond to God's revelation in nature, conscience, or their own religious tradition. God judges based on the light people have received.

Pluralism suggests that different religions are various paths up the same mountain. However, this view is difficult to reconcile with Christianity's core claims about Jesus's unique identity and work, as it essentially reinterprets rather than affirms traditional Christian teaching.

Why Christians Believe This Isn't Arbitrary

Critics sometimes portray the Christian claim as cosmic gatekeeping or divine favoritism. But Christians would argue it reflects something deeper about the nature of reality:

The problem is universal. All humans, regardless of religion or culture, struggle with guilt, brokenness, and mortality. We sense we're not what we should be. Christianity claims this isn't just psychological or social, it's spiritual alienation from our Creator.

The solution must be divine. If the problem is separation from an infinite, holy God, no finite human effort can bridge that gap. It would be like trying to pay off the national debt with pocket change. An adequate solution must come from God's side, not ours.

Jesus is God's initiative, not our achievement. Christianity claims that in Jesus, God himself entered human history to do what we couldn't do for ourselves. The cross isn't humanity reaching up to God, it's God reaching down to humanity.

Grace, not merit. No one “earns” salvation in Christianity. It's a gift received through trust, not a prize won through religious performance. This actually levels the playing field: the most devout religious person and the struggling skeptic both approach God the same way, as recipients of undeserved grace.

What About People Who've Never Heard?

This question troubles many Christians too. Several considerations offer perspective:

God is perfectly just and will judge rightly. Abraham asked, “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do what is just?” (Genesis 18:25). Christians trust that God's judgments will be perfectly fair, taking into account what people knew and the circumstances of their lives.

The Bible suggests God reveals himself universally through creation and conscience (Romans 1-2), though this “general revelation” doesn't provide full knowledge of the gospel. Some theologians propose that people might be saved by responding to whatever revelation they've received, with Christ's work providing the basis even if they don't know the details.

Many Christians believe children who die before reaching moral accountability are covered by God's grace, suggesting knowledge isn't always the determining factor.

What About Sincere People in Other Faiths?

Sincerity matters, but it isn't everything. Someone can be sincerely wrong. If I sincerely believe drinking bleach will cure my illness, my sincerity won't protect me from the consequences.

However, Christianity affirms several important truths about people in other faiths:

They bear God's image and have inherent worth and dignity. They often exhibit admirable virtues like compassion, devotion, and moral courage. Their spiritual hunger reflects humanity's universal search for transcendence and meaning. God values their seeking hearts.

The question isn't whether they're “good people,” it's whether anyone, regardless of religion, can solve their deepest problem on their own. Christianity says no one can, which is why the gospel is good news: God has provided what we couldn't achieve ourselves.

A Humble Approach

Christians should hold their convictions with both confidence and humility. Confidence because these claims matter infinitely. Humility because ultimate judgment belongs to God alone, and we see through a glass darkly.

We don't know all the details of how God will deal with every individual. We trust his justice and mercy. What we do know is what's been revealed: that God loves the world so deeply he sent his Son, and that everyone who comes to him will find welcome.

The exclusivity of Jesus doesn't make God small, it makes his love specific and costly. God didn't send a philosophy, a religious system, or a set of rules. He came himself.

The Heart of the Matter

Perhaps the question isn't really “Why Jesus alone?” but “What kind of God would go to such lengths?”

A God who would become human, live among us, experience our suffering, and die our death isn't standing aloof demanding arbitrary religious credentials. He's thrown himself into the mess of human existence to rescue us.

The Christian claim is radical not because it's exclusive, but because it's so shockingly inclusive in another sense: anyone, regardless of their past, their culture, their moral record, or their religious background can come to God through Jesus. The door is narrow, but it's wide open.

That's not the end of the conversation. These questions deserve continued wrestling, compassionate dialogue, and honest exploration. But for Christians, the exclusivity of Jesus isn't about restriction, it's about revelation: God showing us clearly, concretely, and personally the way home.

Reason why I’m doing this

Continued Discussion on What God has Entrusted Me With

I’m not even going to pretend like I am a good steward of any of the things that God has entrusted me with. I am so, so, so far away from God, and the depth of my sin and willful disobedience is so great that I despair daily at the person that I am. When I reflect upon my flaws and my sin, I don’t even know where to start. Without the cross, without grace, I cannot cross the chasm that separates me and my creator, and I am forever endebted to Christ. All that I feel I can do is spend time with God, and obey Him, so as to let Him do His work in my broken soul.

Faith and Innocence

A little tidbit of New Testament-esque justification by faith can be found in Daniel as well, if I’m interpreting this correctly.

“My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, Your Majesty.’” (Daniel 6:22)

“The king was overjoyed and gave orders to lift Daniel out of the den. And when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.” (Daniel 6:23)

The logic of the statements follows as so:

• Daniel was saved from death because he was found innocent in God’s sight. (Daniel 6:22)
• Daniel was saved from death because he had trusted in God. (Daniel 6:23)
• Daniel could not have been truly sinless, so his innocence had to come from somewhere else. His trust/faith could have been credited to him as righteousness. Maybe it’s a stretch, since the 2 verses do not logically tie together like that.

God’s Faithfulness

Finally, God is ultimately the one who enables, and God is the one who saves. Daniel’s excellence is a result of his character (also developed by God), and also a result of God-given excellence. If Daniel was simply an excellent administrator, political intrigue would have killed him at the beginning of his career. Furthermore, regardless of skill, you cannot rise to the top of any organization, much less a large empire without an abundance of luck or divine providence. The fact that he stayed on top of the ladder for many many years amidst changing regimes and government officials jockeying violently for authority is proof of God’s faithfulness towards Daniel. God is the one who saves, God is the one who shows His faithfulness.

Interesting Note: No Community

Some prophets had wives and children. It doesn’t seem like Daniel did. As the book of Daniel progresses, his friends fall out of the picture for whatever reason, and he becomes the sole focus of the story. He probably did have a spiritual community of some sort, but it isn’t mentioned. I wonder how he did his faith life, because it almost seems like he did it alone.

End Note:

I very much dislike reading about the end times, because I sometimes fear that my name is not written in the book of life. I don’t want eternal punishment. Also, it makes me realize that I’m but a drop in the sea, and I have no power or control over these fated happenings. I barely understand what is even being described in these visions, and it still troubles me. Poor Daniel.

#slave2christ

John 21 is not simply the last chapter of a Gospel. It is the quiet heartbeat of restoration. It is where heaven walks onto a shoreline at dawn, where the resurrected Jesus steps into the private ache of a disciple crushed by regret, and where mercy rewrites a story that shame tried to finish. It is a sunrise of the soul — slow, soft, bright, and transforming.

It isn’t loud like the crucifixion. It isn’t triumphant like the empty tomb. It is intimate. Personal. Healing.

This chapter is where Jesus restores the one who believed he ruined everything beyond repair. And if you read it slowly — if you let each moment move through you — you will feel the pull of a God who meets broken people with breakfast and purpose.

John 21 is a beginning disguised as an ending.

RETURNING TO OLD WATERS

Before the fire of restoration comes the fog of confusion.

Peter declares, “I am going fishing.”

Not for leisure. Not for distraction. But because he isn’t sure who he is anymore.

He remembers the courtyard. He remembers the denials. He remembers the rooster. He remembers the grief in his Master’s eyes.

Shame has a gravity. It pulls us backward into identities we outgrew. It whispers, “Go back to what you were before God called you.”

So Peter returns to the familiar — the sea, the boat, the nets. The old identity that once made sense. And the others follow, not because it is wise, but because wounded leaders unintentionally draw others into their backward steps.

They fish all night. They catch nothing.

Empty nets are sometimes heaven’s refusal to let you succeed at being someone you no longer are.

THE VOICE AT DAWN

As the sun lifts over the edges of the water, a figure stands on the shore.

“Children, have you any food?”

He knows they don’t.

He wants them to say it out loud.

“No.”

A simple word. A heavy truth.

Then the instruction:

“Cast the net on the right side of the boat.”

Unconventional. Unfamiliar. Unreasonable.

But familiar in another way — an echo from a morning years earlier when obedience birthed calling.

They listen. They obey. The nets come alive with abundance.

Fish thrash. Ropes strain. The boat tilts under the weight of miracle.

John realizes first: “It is the Lord.”

And Peter does something wild.

He doesn’t wait for the boat. He doesn’t think about dignity or shame or explanation.

He jumps into the sea.

Love reaches before reason understands. Passion outruns fear. Grace pulls the heart toward Jesus even when shame tries to anchor it.

Peter swims through the water toward the One he failed.

THE CHARCOAL FIRE OF MEMORY AND MERCY

Then comes the detail that cuts straight to the soul:

A charcoal fire.

A charcoal fire burned the night Peter denied Jesus. A charcoal fire burns now as Jesus restores him.

Same smell. Same texture. Same setting.

Not to shame him. To heal him.

Because God often revisits the memory of the wound so He can rewrite it with grace.

Before Jesus speaks, before He addresses anything painful, before He touches the sore places of Peter’s heart…

He feeds them.

The risen Savior cooks breakfast.

This alone is enough to break you open — the One who conquered the grave kneels beside a fire to serve the men who ran when He suffered.

Grace feeds before it fixes. Grace welcomes before it corrects. Grace nourishes before it commissions.

Jesus says, “Come and dine.”

Those three words carry restoration inside them.

THE RESTORATION OF PETER

After breakfast, Jesus turns His eyes on Peter.

He does not call him “Peter.” He calls him “Simon, son of John.”

He takes Peter back to the beginning — to the identity before calling, before failure, before the nickname “Rock.”

Jesus is not undoing Peter’s destiny. He is resetting the foundation.

Then He asks:

“Do you love Me more than these?”

More than the fish? More than this old life? More than your comfort? More than your pride? More than the other disciples?

Peter answers with humility, not bravado: “Lord, You know that I love You.”

Gone is the pride. Gone is the false confidence. Gone is the boasting.

Honesty remains.

And Jesus responds with commission, not condemnation: “Feed My lambs.”

Jesus gives leadership back to the man who denied Him. Jesus places responsibility on a man who once ran from pressure. Jesus trusts the broken because grace restores what shame tried to bury.

Then Jesus asks again. And again.

Three times. Three wounds reopened. Three wounds healed. Three denials redeemed.

The third time, Peter is grieved. Jesus has reached the deepest layer of the wound.

And Peter says something raw, something real, something absolutely holy: “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.”

It is the confession of a man who has nothing left to hide. Nothing left to prove. Nothing left to pretend.

He stands before Jesus exposed — and loved.

Then Jesus says it again: “Feed My sheep.”

He does not merely forgive Peter. He reinstates him.

Grace does not bring you back halfway. Grace restores you all the way to calling.

THE PROPHECY OF COURAGE

Jesus continues:

“When you were young, you dressed yourself and walked wherever you wished. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands…”

This is prophecy. This is honor. This is Jesus saying:

“You will not fail again.” “You will be brave.” “You will glorify God in death as you failed to do in fear.” “You will finish well.”

Then the words that started everything return:

“Follow Me.”

After failure. After shame. After regret.

The calling never changed.

THE END OF COMPARISON

As they walk, Peter turns and sees John following.

“What about him?”

Comparison always creeps in where calling grows.

And Jesus stops it cold:

“If I want him to remain until I return, what is that to you? You follow Me.”

Your calling is yours. His calling is his. My plan for you is not My plan for him.

Comparison kills destiny. Focus feeds it.

Jesus is saying: “Stay faithful to your path.” “Do not measure your calling by someone else’s story.” “Do not compare.” “Just follow Me.”

THE FINAL THUNDER OF JOHN’S GOSPEL

John closes with a sentence so massive it shakes the soul:

“If everything Jesus did were written down, the world itself could not contain the books.”

This is John’s way of saying:

“I haven’t told you everything — but I’ve told you enough.” “Enough to know Him.” “Enough to follow Him.” “Enough to believe.”

The Gospel ends on earth, but continues in the hearts of believers who rise from their own failures into grace.

WHY JOHN 21 SPEAKS TO US TODAY

Because people still run back to old identities when they feel unworthy of new ones. Because shame still tells lies that God has walked away. Because believers still think failure disqualifies them. Because disciples still whisper, “I’m going fishing,” when they cannot see how God could still use them. Because hearts still break beside charcoal fires of regret. Because souls still need the voice of Jesus saying, “Come and dine.”

John 21 is the chapter for the discouraged. The ashamed. The weary. The ones who think they ruined God’s plan. The ones who feel like they do not belong anymore.

Jesus meets them on familiar shorelines. Jesus builds fires where memories hurt. Jesus cooks breakfast for the broken. Jesus asks questions that heal. Jesus restores what people believe is destroyed. Jesus recommissions those who ran. Jesus rewrites endings.

Peter walked into that morning sure he was unworthy. He walked away destined to lead the early church.

And the same Jesus who restored him restores you.

---

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s inspiring faith-based videos on YouTube

Support the ministry by buying Douglas a coffee

Your friend in Christ, Douglas Vandergraph

#GospelOfJohn #John21 #Faith #Jesus #ChristianInspiration #BibleStudy #Hope #Restoration #Grace #Mercy #NewBeginnings #DouglasVandergraph

In Summary: * On the upside, it's been great having these two IU games to follow! On the downside, arthritis aches, soreness, and clumsiness has been no fun today.

Prayers, etc.: * My daily prayers.

Health Metrics: * bw= 223.55 lbs. * bp= 139/86 (68)

Exercise: * kegel pelvic floor exercise, half squats, calf raises, wall push-ups

Diet: * 06:40 – mini-cupcakes, 1 banana * 07:20 – cornbread and butter * 08:35 – whole kernel corn * 11:10 – 1 fresh orange * 11:30 – baked ham * 13:20 – cooked vegetables with shrimp and meat * 16:20 – pumpkin pie

Activities, Chores, etc.: * 05:00 – listen to local news talk radio * 06:30 – bank accounts activity monitored * 07:30 – read, pray, listen to news reports from various sources, and nap * 11:00 – tuned into The Home For IU Women's Basketball ahead of this afternoon's NCAA women's basketball, Gonzaga Bulldogs at IU Hoosiers * 12:45 to 14:15 – watch old TV game shows and eat lunch at home with Sylvia * 14:30 – reading, writing, praying, listening to relaxing music * 17:30 – listening to The Flagship Station for IU Sports ahead of tonight's Old Oaken Bucket Game between the IU Hoosiers Football Team and Purdue Boilermakers. I'll stay with this station for the call of the game.

Chess: * 11:30 – moved in all pending CC games

I probably spent too much on music today. I tend to do that on Bandcamp, especially when labels are having sales on their entire catalogs so I can buy multiple titles and save on shipping costs. “Hey, its supporting small and independent artists and labels,” I tell myself.

I recently discovered a label called business casual. Founded in 2013, they first specialized in Vaporwave but have since expanded to include a variety of electronic genres and styles. And they love to release their albums on cassette. I'm starting to focus more on that format since deciding to ditch vinyl, so I jumped on the sale and ordered a handful of tapes and a CD.

• Broadcasts by Sonnig 991 & Simple Syrup
• Twin Palms by GammaFlow
• Jewel in the Crown by Bart Graft
• In Place Of Power by Full Eclipse
• Lake Hiareth by Ghostmemory
• Rainbow Smears by maggie.wav

I also bought digital versions of a couple albums from Farfalla Records, a French label specializing in 70s and 80s Library music.

• Occhio Occhio by Eleven76
• Heatwaves by Pleasurewood

These are the first albums I've bought from either label and I look forward to exploring them.

I actually had to pare down my original cart for business casual – lots of interesting albums there.

I'll be playing the physical media on my Twitch stream hopefully soon.

#100DaysToOffload (No. 115) #music #libraryMusic #vaporwave #synthwave #electronicMusic #Bandcamp #physicalMedia #cassette #compactDisc