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from B.

Here is a little about me...

Over the past year I’ve found myself in a dark place. Eventually I found myself not writing, AT ALL! I have been writing sense I was 8 years old. I used poetry, short stories, and diary entries as a way to cope with the good and bad. I am now working on myself and writing again. As I work I think more and more about someone like me. Someone out there is going through darkness. What if words could help, even if it’s just to let them know they aren't alone? So recently I felt like I needed to start sharing my thoughts with the world. Not many people have seen what is buried in a diary, memory box, or hard drive. But I’m anonymous so I can share and not feel guilty or awkward. I’m ready to give this a try and for what constructive criticism is to come.

Poetry to come... B.

 
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from Strange Vistas

Guy Pearce and Maggie Grace in Lockout

Sometimes the thing you need is a fun, wise-cracking action movie.

Lockout is what you'd get if you lock Guy Pearce in a room for six months with a set of weights and tubs of protein shake, so he can prepare to play Snake Plissken by watching Die Hard and Last Action Hero over and over.

He plays CIA Operative Snow, caught in a double-cross where his friend gets killed. He refuses to cooperate with a Secret Service he doesn't trust. As a result, he is about to get sent to an orbital maximum security prison when (wouldn't you know it) a shit-show at the same jail ends up with the U.S. President's daughter as a hostage.

Wouldn't you know it, our smart-mouthed jackass gets an offer to rescue her, which he takes because a friend of his also happens to have ended up there.

Yeah, the writers locked themselves up only with Carpenter's Escape movies. But while it hews close to its inspiration, considering it a copycat would be a disservice to how much silly fun Lockout is. Hell, it's a better movie than Escape from L.A. and a significant improvement on how you'd adapt Plissken's first outing to recent times. Sorry, John.

You know the rest. Colorful psychos run amok. Snow gets on the station to chew bubblegum and kick ass (but he's... you know). He cracks wise. He gets in trouble. He blows up things and thugs. He banters with his charge, who has a mind of her own about what they should be doing. He works to prove his innocence. Assholes act like assholes throughout and get their comeuppance later.

Anything science-related makes zero sense, because we wouldn't want to distract from the cinematic goofiness. Don't worry about it – there are about 15 seconds of that in the movie, total.

Lockout is the kind of movie where you can tell almost everything you need to know about it in the first 90 seconds. If the way they introduce Snow doesn't at least put a smile on your face, move on. If it makes you cackle, then grab a beer, pour some mixed nuts on a plate, and plonk yourself down for 90 minutes of quips and action.

#lockout #guypearce #snakeplissken #action

 
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from BobbyDraco

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. It's Sunday, and I'm just fine. The weekend was nice. I reloaded the Windows workstation. Installed the Wacom Cintiq and the 3D mouse. Now I have to get used to using these new devices, which will be fun and frustrating at the same time. The loaded the new version of my 3D applications. All said and done, it was a good day. The workstation was having issues and not running very well. The rebuild of the OS and application fixed all the problems I was having.

Download the NY Times data from GitHub and started playing with the data. First tried power BI. Next, I'll try R studio and maybe Splunk later this week.

I also found time to practice the piano. wheeh.

Mood – good.

 
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from jabberlope

Something of a feeling of normalcy today, and I fear it, because it feels like me getting used to this thing, my resolve wearing down, my will beyond being frayed and now it's just gone slack and attenuated and sort of weightless like you see in all those movies about space.

I got a jog in. We got a walk in. Talked to Mom.

Made Skyline for dinner out of the can so it felt like a special thing and not “what we do now because we can't get anything fresh anymore...”

 
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Anonymous

1.

Doyoung masuk ke dalam mobil Johnny dan langsung menaruh tasnya di belakang.

“Lo ngeliat Taeyoung?” tanyanya pada Johnny. Johnny mengangguk sambil menyalakan mesin mobilnya.

“Gue juga kaget, ternyata bener rumahnya deket sama lo,” ujar Johnny. Doyoung memainkan jari-jarinya, dia agak sedikit takut mengetahui fakta itu. Bahwa dia tinggal dekat dengan seseorang yang menyeramkan.

“lo gausah takut kali,” kata Johnny, “Dia juga manusia.”

“Tapi John,” Doyoung menggantung kata-kata nya. “Kok gue ga asing sama dia,” lanjutnya.

Johnny hanya diam, padahal Doyoung menunggu balasannya. “Ah gatau, paling cuma perasaan gue,” ujar Doyoung sambil mengacak-acak rambutnya.

“Btw tadi dia jalan, kuat amat dia jalan sampe sekolah,” kata Johnny sambil terkekeh.

Akhirnya mereka sampai di sekolah, mereka masuk ke kelas mereka dan mendapati Taeyong sudah berada di tempat duduknya.

“Anjir, dia jalan apa lari apa terbang apa teleportasi cepet amat,” bisik Johnny kepada Doyoung. Namun yang diajak bicara hanya menggeleng tidak tahu dan diam.

Doyoung yang kini sudah berada di tempat duduknya, melirik sedikit ke arah Taeyong. Di sana terlihat Taeyong sedang memegang sesuatu di tangannya.

'hah?' batin Doyoung dalam hati.

Namun, seketika Taeyong langsung menatap ke arah Doyoung. Membuat Doyoung langsung mengalihkan pandangannya dan bergidik.

 
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Anonymous

SYIFA CAHYA MAYSHANDOVA Senin, 30 / 03 / 20

1.Carilah naskah drama tradisioal atau modern di internet! 2.Telaahlah ciri unsurnya dengan melengkapi soal-soal berikut! a.Tema drama tersebut adalah ... b.alur yang digunakan dalam drama tersbut adalah... c.Tokoh dalam drama tersebut adalah... d.karakter atau sifat tokoh tersebut adalah... e.Tokoh yg dpt diteladani atau dijadikan contoh dalam kehidupan sehari-hari adalah... f.pesan moral dalam drama tersebut adalah... g.Drama tersebut terjadi adalah... h.Drama tersebut terjadi di... i.Suasana yang tergambar dalam drama tersebut adalah... j.Bahasa yang digunakan dalam dialog drama tersebut adalah...

JAWABAN. 1. The Legend On The Blue Sea (Drama Traadisional Korea) 2. a) Legenda b) Maju (zaman dahulu ke zaman sekarang) c) Lee Min-ho sebagai Heo Joon-jae Jun Ji-hyun sebagai Shim Chung Shin Won-ho sebagai Tae-oh Shin Hye-sun sebagai Cha Shi-ah Lee Hee-joon sebagai Jo Nam-doo Lee Ji-hoon sebagai Heo Chi-hyun d) Heo Joonjae (Protagonis) Shim Chung (Protagonis) Tae Oh (Deurtagonis) Cha Shiah (Antagonis) Jo Namdo (Deurtagonis) Heo Chihyun (Antagonis) e) Shim Chung. Karena dia mudah membantu orang lain meskipun dia hanya hidup sederhana, dia sering membantu orang dengan kemampuan yang ia miliki f) “seringlah membantu orang, walaupun hidup kalian sederhana” g) Pedesaan (1) Pusat Kota Seoul (2) h) Pedesaan (1) Pusat Kota Seoul (2) i ) Nyaman j ) Tidak baku, bahasa sehari-hari

 
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from olry

I just read an interview (again) from Jenny Odell in Offscreen Magazine, and she is the author of the book “How To Do Nothing” and she is on-point in so many ways. As one member of The Beach Boys said about Charlie Manson “I have never met anyone as tuned-in as him”. I am not glorifying Charlie Manson (or The Beach Boys), but I always liked the phrase: “never met anyone as tuned-in as...”. I think Jenny Odell is more or less “tuned-in” to what is happening with the world in terms of the attention economy, the gig economy, hustle culture, the American economy, and just how to more or less take steps to “up-end” ourselves from the fast-paced, rise and grind, productivity above all attitude(s) people of our generation have cultivated in the modern world.

It is comforting to read someone else say (via interview) the things I have more or less touched upon in self-thought, but never saw put into black ink words on paper before. I also like how she quoted a German writer I had not heard of before and his take on the masses being “caught up in the inferno of the same”. I, have referred to the “Hive Mind” way of thinking (not my term) as “Like Think” (which is my term).

Notice in the first paragraph I say JO knows what is happening “with” the world (in italics) because what is going on with attention economy happenings is not an act of free will. People are addicted. People who are addicts think they do the things they do because of free will because, why wouldn’t they? Everything leading up to that point in their life has been an act of independent agency, so the same likewise for their obsessive social media consumption. Or online gambling consumption. Or online pornography consumption. These are all in the same category as far as the psyche is concerned. And I applaud anyone who recognizes that.

 
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Anonymous

Anything for mama

Taehyung tampak gelisah, soalnya dia harus minta izin pada mama Jeon, suaminya memang mengizinkan tapi dia juga harus punya izin dari mama mertua nya

Kakinya susah dilangkahkan, Taehyung bingung dan mendadak kaku, dia takut tidak dapat izin

Jika kalian bertanya mengapa mama Jeon masih tinggal serumah dengan anaknya yang sudah menikah? jawabannya adalah restu,

Mama Jeon memang belum merestui hubungan mereka berdua, dan mama Jeon membuat aturan jika beliau sudah merestui hubungan yang dijalin anaknya dengan Taehyung, beliau akan pindah dari rumah ini

Entah tradisi atau apa, Taehyung hanya mengikuti, toh, dia menjadi istri Jeongguk saja sudah senang kok

“M-ma?”

Tidak ada sahutan, masih membaca majalah keluaran terbaru, Taehyung menghela nafas

“Ma, adek minta izin keluar ya? sama temen adek, tadi udah minta izin kok sama mas”

Sekitar hitungan ke lima, mama Jeon memutar kepalanya mengarah Taehyung, beliau menatap datar kearah menantunya

Ah, menantu?

Sepertinya, bukan.

“Kenapa minta izin sama saya?”

“A-ah itu, adek-“

“Pergi aja! memangnya siapa yang larang kamu, huh? mau kamu pergi sebentar, lama, sampai gak datang kesini lagi juga saya biarin, saya gak butuh kamu disini, anak miskin”

Taehyung terkejut, tapi sudah terlampau biasa, dirinya sudah terlalu kebal dengan hinaan mama Jeon, begitu juga beliau adalah mama mertuanya, mamah dari suami tercintanya

“K-kalo gitu, adek pergi, adek bakal pulang sebelum makan malam, adek janji”

“Saya ga peduli mau kamu pulang sebelum makan malam atau gak, gausah pulang sekalian juga saya senang”

Taehyung tersenyum tipis, mungkin mood mama Jeon sedang tidak bagus jadi sedikit sensi

“Adek pamit ya, ma. As-“

“Eh, sebentar!”

Mama jeon berdiri, beliau tampak berpikir lalu tersenyum lembut pada Taehyung. Ah, dia paham-

ini bukan hal baik

“Kamu udah minta izin kan sama anak saya?”

“U-udah, ma”

“Berarti anak saya kirim uang ke rekening kamu?”

“M-“

“Sini handphone kamu”

Taehyung berkedip dan menatap bingung, mama Jeon berdecak, memutar bola matanya

“Kamu tuli? Siniin handphone kamu!”

Taehyung menyerahkan handphone nya pada mama Jeon, wanita paruh baya yang sudah berkepala tiga itu mengotak-atik handphone nya

“Nih”

Taehyung mengambil handphone nya barusan, meneliti apa ada yang salah dengan handphone nya sampai mama Jeon meminjam handphone nya?

“Anak saya ngasih kamu sepuluh juta, dan saya tau, kamu pasti gak mau kan uang sebanyak itu, ah, bukan gak mau tapi gak pantas, jadi, karena saya baik sama kamu-“

Mama Jeon kembali duduk dan meraih majalah yang barusan dia baca, menyesap teh hangat beliau sebelum kembali bicara

“-saya ambil semua uangnya dan sisain seratus ribu buat kamu”

Taehyung membelalak, badannya kaku dan dirinya sedikit tak percaya, uang 10 juta yang dikirim Jeongguk diambil mama Jeon dan dirinya hanya disisakan 100 ribu?

Ah, Taehyung ayolah sadar, kamu hanya benalu di hubungan mama dan anak ini

Taehyung paham, setelah dirinya menikahi Jeongguk, semua uang hasil kerja keras Jeongguk diberikan padanya dan sisanya pada mamanya, mungkin mama Jeon kesal dengan itu

“Cukup kan? Lagian, kamu gak pantas megang uang sepuluh juta, buat apa? perawatan? sadar, kamu terlalu kampungan, atau....belanja? belanja pakaian? Haha, pakaian kota mana cocok sama kamu, jadi jangan mimpi”

“Oh ya, seratus ribu itu mungkin cuman cukup buat makan, kamu keluar cuman buat makan sama temen kamu kan? ga belanja kan? ah, kalo dia belanja pun kamu gak akan bisa beli, mana ada baju seharga seratus ribu”

Taehyung menunduk, matanya panas dan berair, tidak, dia harus kuat, demi Jeongguk dia harus kuat

“Yaudah sana, kamu halangin saya, saya muak liat muka kamu”

Taehyung membungkuk lalu berjalan keluar, air matanya menetes dan buru-buru dia hapus, Jimin sudah menunggu ternyata

Berat memang, tapi ini adalah pilihannya. Mama Jeon tidak menyukainya tidak apa, yang penting, Taehyung memiliki Jeongguk di keluarga ini, hanya Jeongguk sumber bahagianya

Dan dia akan bertahan demi suaminya, yah, untuk kali ini biarkan dia seperti ini

 
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from Mikes Thoughts

It’s Monday so a new week here in Hanoi. Today I decided to switch back to the FujiFilm X-T30 camera from my iPhone 11. Maybe because of new firmware that landed or that I need to do stuff a bit different. I don’t take challenges or have goals or responsibilities any more. They are counter productive to my slothful well being. Instead I find something for awhile or longer I want to go do. I decided last night to go do the camera and practice and learn more again on it. It’s a fine piece of kit and I have two lens for it. Each lens requires learning more as each offers something different. The 18-55mm kit lens is a fine lens. How it’s called a kit lens is a mystery. It does so much! Then there is the F2 35mm prime lens. Fast and furious and this lens shrinks the camera size down.

The X-T30 is likely an excellent all round camera but it’s size and features make it worthy for travel. When you have comparable features to the high end X-T3 camera it makes the cost and use very compelling.

I say all this because the camera offers me learning and fun just like the iPhone photography but not tied to classes or goals or requirements. I go at no pace but my own.

So today when I walk in Hanoi later I will use the camera. I’ll take JPEGs only because I’m lazy and I don’t like editing RAW photos. I will do some study on ISO and make a feeble attempt to get off auto ISO. That’s probably doomed. Because I am lazy and the camera can do the work. I may shoot on program mode too.

but now...

Now is morning and coffee and being retired. I decided to delete an Instagram account that had nothing in it because I hate Instagram. I deleted a twitter account because I cannot tweet. It leaves me with the preferred things to share with others. Perhaps I’ve outlined them before but here they are again,

  1. Mastodon. I like my instance a lot. It’s named photog.social and I have a home there. I find mastodon more engaging, often disruptive and friendly. This instance offers photographers or wanna be or maybe something in between the chance to share to the wider world.

  2. Facebook. Only for fun really but most of my Vietnamese friends rely on it. I don’t like or hate it. If it wants to track I was at Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum the other day ok. I know I was there too. So go for it.

  3. This blog. The blog fills the desire to communicate and share but not be hammered with categories and followers and likes. Write.As provides a slate for me to fill in each day. It’s words on virtual paper and that’s it. We all know real bloggers use Wordpress. It’s ok. Real photographers use Instagram as well. Right? The blog gives me space in the world to create and discuss and cuss.

Those are the three. Then there is a Day One journal I fill every day. Sometimes I wonder about the intersection of blog and journal. It all turns out somewhat right though. And life in Hanoi goes on anyways. My coffee in the big red cup calls to me.

See you tomorrow. Thanks for reading.

 
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from olry

I was reminded by a blog post on here of the existence of IRC (Internet Relay Chat) and how I heard Google was kind of bringing it back, making it cool again. A couple rudimentary DDG searches later, and I see there are IRC apps for iOS (that cost $$$) as well as Android apps for IRC (that cost $$$, as well).

I’ll get in on this someday

 
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from BLOOD AND KISSES

Jason’s house was in the barrio at 11th Avenue and Van Buren, not too far from Don’s, but a different world. He shared it with a bunch of other people. I was glad to see his car was parked outside, but when I looked in his bedroom window I saw he wasn’t in the room. That made sense—he wouldn’t be in bed this early—but it would have been fun to find him asleep.

I opened the window and climbed in.

I sat on the bed. I could hear voices and TV coming from the living room. I texted Jason: “Come to your bedroom.” Thirty seconds later, he did.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he said, shutting the bedroom door behind him.

“What do you think?”

“How did you get in?”

“How do you think?”

I stood up and let my dress fall off me. I wasn’t wearing anything under it.

He closed his eyes. “Holly—” He didn’t hear me move toward him, so he was startled when he opened his eyes again and found me right in front of him. I reached between his legs and felt the hardness of his cock through the black denim of his jeans.

“Mmm…” I said. “Nice to see you too.”

“Holly…” he said again, as I rubbed him.

“Want me to stop?”

He didn’t answer.

“Want me to stop? Answer me.”

“No,” he whispered. “Don’t stop.”

I stopped, and took a step back. “Take off your clothes,” I said.

He did. When he was naked, I shoved him onto the bed so that he was lying on his back. I bent over him and licked him from his balls to the head of his cock, till some pre-come leaked out. I licked it off. Then I straddled him and looked in his eyes.

“Please,” he said.

“Please what?”

“Please fuck me.”

I kissed him, fucking his mouth with my tongue. “You know what’ll happen if I do?”

“Yes.”

I took him inside me. He groaned as I rode him. My wetness ran down his cock and over his balls. I saw his face contort and knew he was about to come. I grabbed his wrists and pinned his hands above his head. “Give it to me,” I whispered.

He cried out, filling me with his come, and as he did I sank my fangs into him where his neck met his shoulder. He whimpered as his orgasm subsided and his blood pumped into my mouth. I kept swallowing until I’d had about a pint, about as much as he could safely give, and then I pressed my tongue to the wounds, and kept it there until the blood flow stopped.

I lay beside him and looked at him. He was trembling, his eyes closed. “Are you okay?” I said.

“I feel really weak and dizzy.”

“You should drink some orange juice, and eat some spinach or kale. I took more than usual, so you need to replenish.”

“This isn’t cool,” he said.

“I need to go,” I said. “I need to get to work.”

“I have a girlfriend now, and you made me cheat. Even worse than cheat.”

“You didn’t cheat. You didn’t have a choice.” I got up and put my dress on. I hadn’t come, and I briefly considered making him get me off, but he was so weak now I knew it wasn’t a good idea, and I didn’t have much time. Besides, I’d gotten what I needed. “I’m leaving,” I said. “Seriously, drink some orange juice, and eat something with folate.”

When I was perched outside on the window sill, I heard him call after me, “Holly, I revoke my invitation. You may no longer enter.”

Shit. I shouldn’t have told him about that.

I jumped to the ground, started to run, felt the change, and then I was gliding through the hot, dark air.

I made it to work just on time. I was a clerk at the Circle K not far from my house.

#horror #fiction #vampires #urbanfantasy #paranormalromance #erotichorror

 
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from BLOOD AND KISSES

The table was strewn with beer bottles, coffee cups and full ashtrays. The vampires, zombies and elves sat around it in ratty old armchairs.

I looked at my watch. The sun would soon rise, and I was the only vampire who had to avoid the daylight.

I chugged my beer and put the empty bottle on the floor next to all the others. “I need to get in my coffin,” I told the others at the table.

Lynette, the new girl, laughed. Nobody else did. “Holly really does have a coffin,” Garyn said to her.

“How come?” Lynette asked.

“Because I’m a vampire,” I said.

“Me too,” she said.

I stood up. “Goodnight. Or good morning.”

“Do you really have a coffin?” Lynette asked.

“Like I said.”

“Can I see?”

“If you like. But you’ll have to be quick. Come on.”

She looked at the others. The role-playing game had been going on all night, and it wasn’t going to end yet. “Be right back,” she said to them, and followed me to my bedroom.

“Awesome,” she said when she saw the coffin. “Where did you get it?”

“I was buried in it.”

“How long ago?”

“I’ve lost count.” I hauled the lid off the coffin and let her see the red velvet padding.

“Awesome,” she said again. “I want one.”

I didn’t say anything. I’d heard that before.

“You really sleep in it?” she said.

“Do you see a bed?”

“This is so cool.”

“Okay, I need to get some sleep. Later.”

“See you later,” she said, and went back to the living room.

I closed the door behind her, and locked it. I took off my black dress and put on a white nightgown. Then I turned off the light, which made no difference to how clearly I could see. All that affects that is when I close my eyes. I climbed into the coffin. I could have leapt like a cat, and sometimes I do, but I was tired. Sitting up, I reached for the lid, and then pulled it over me as I lay down.

I read somewhere that all people dream when asleep, whether they remember their dreams or not. I don’t know if that’s true of vampires, but I know I’ve never remembered a dream, and I’m almost sure it’s because I don’t dream. Being without beginning, if I did dream it would mean I never, ever got a break.

When I woke, the sun was setting. I couldn’t see it, but I could feel it. Still in the coffin, I used my cell phone to send a text to Jason. “What are you doing tonight? I’m thirsty. Can I come over?”

I lay there for a few minutes, coming fully awake. My phone beeped, telling me I had a text message. It was from Jason. “I guess you didn’t check your email yet,” was all he wrote.

I pushed up the coffin lid, eased it to the floor, and climbed out. There was still some daylight, but it was shadowy enough for me to be okay. I sat cross-legged on the floor, booted up my laptop and read the email he’d sent me. It was short:

Holly, I don’t want to play with you anymore, cuz it seems like all you want is play, & there’s somebody else I like & she wants more than play. So we shouldn’t see each other anymore. I’m sorry. Jason

I’d hoped to see him before my appointment with Don, which was at 7:30. It was almost 6 now, so that meant I didn’t have to hurry, and at least I’d have something to talk to Don about.

I went to the kitchen and brewed coffee. The house was silent—some of my housemates were asleep, others at work. I drank a cup of coffee, took a shower, did my hair and put on a black dress and flat black shoes. I don’t wear makeup—I always look like I have some on. I drank another cup of coffee, and then went out. It was almost dark. It was late winter, so it was only warm instead of hot as hell like it would be soon. I could hear police sirens, and gunshots not far away. Ah, the children of the night—what music they make.

My house was at 40th Street and Buckeye, where everybody was scared to live, which was why my rent was cheap. Don ran his practice out of his house in Encanto, which is the other side of town. Nothing in Phoenix is near anything, so to get anywhere fast you need a car. You do, I mean. I don’t.

I walked quickly, then faster, then started to jog, then started to move into a run, but then the change came, as always, and I was flying. I swooped under a streetlight, enjoying seeing how I didn’t cast a shadow, and then I went higher and headed Northwest. Ten minutes later I was at Don’s. I circled over his house a couple times to make sure no one was around to see me land, and then I felt the change happen again as I slipped down and landed on my feet.

The side door to Don’s house led to the waiting room. I was early, so he was still with the client he was seeing before me. As usual, I was his last client of the evening, but I wasn’t alone in the waiting room. There was the ghost.

She talked to everybody who came into the house, but nobody but me ever answered her, because they couldn’t see or hear her like I could. She looked like she was in her late teens, she was dressed like it was the 1930s, and she’d been stuck in that house for a long time. I don’t think she ever remembered seeing me before, because she always asked me the same question, and she asked it now:

“Can you go outside?” she said, looking at the door I had just come in.

“Yeah,” I said, gently. “Yeah, I can.”

She spoke sadly. “I can’t go outside.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“I wish I could go outside.”

I wished she could too, but I didn’t say anything else. I don’t know why she had to stay in that house. I sat down, and she went past me and stood at the window and looked out. Then she faded away.

The door to Don’s office opened, and a couple came out. They looked so angry, I didn’t think his therapy was helping them much. He wasn’t a great therapist, but he was one of the few I’d been able to find that saw clients in the evenings, which obviously was a major factor for me, so I’d been seeing him for a few months. But we didn’t agree about my issues. I thought I was lonely and bored, and he thought I was mentally ill because I thought I was a vampire.

The couple nodded to me, walked past me and left. Then Don stuck his head out of his office and invited me in. “Hi, Holly. Enter freely and of your own will.” It bugged me a bit when he said that, because I knew he was humoring me. I only have to be invited into a place with those words the first time I come in. After that, I can enter whenever I want, whether you want me to or not—as Jason was soon going to find out. I’d told Don he had to say it the first time or else I couldn’t come in, but he’d been saying it ever since then, and I found it condescending. I was afraid that if he ever realized I actually was a vampire, he’d mansplain vampirism to me.

I said hi to him, went into his office, and sat down on my usual chair. He sat in his chair facing me. He thought of himself as an old biker type, but he rode a scooter and he was so bald that his mullet was more of a skullet.

“So…how are you doing, Holly?”

“I could be better. I just got broken up with.”

“Oh? I didn’t know you had a partner. Is this a new or recent relationship?”

“He’s not my partner. Wasn’t my partner. We weren’t dating or anything, though he wanted to.”

“If you weren’t dating, what were you doing? What’s the relationship that he’s ended?”

“I was having sex with him and drinking his blood.”

He almost sighed, but managed not to. “I see.” He waited for me to say something else, and when I didn’t he said, “How much of this is fantasy?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, like your fantasy of being a vampire. Does this man you say broke up with you even exist? You haven’t mentioned him before.”

“He does exist, and I am a vampire.”

“Holly…”

“I haven’t mentioned him before because I’m not all that into him. He loved having sex with me, I liked it with him, but the most important thing was that he gave me blood so I didn’t have to hunt. Now I’m going to have to figure something else out.”

“I’m going to have to be straight with you, Holly.” (Ever notice that when people talk down to you, they use your name a lot?) “I think you really do believe that you’re a vampire…”

“I do, because I am. Can we talk about Jason?”

“Vampires don’t exist, and your delusion is keeping us from doing the therapeutic work that you need to do.”

“I should never have told you.”

“Why did you tell me?”

“Because when I decided to try therapy, I did some reading about it, and I read that for it to be helpful you have to be totally honest with your therapist and not hide anything.”

“That’s true, and it’s good that you didn’t hide your delusion from me. That makes it possible for me to help you.”

“Oh? How are you doing to do that?”

“There are two possible interventions we can try. The one I recommend is a chemical intervention.”

“You mean meds?”

“Yes. I think an antipsychotic such as Haldol might make an enormous difference. I can’t prescribe it—I’m a psychologist, not a doctor—but I can write you a recommendation, and a doctor will prescribe it.”

“I don’t think I need meds, except for an antidepressant, maybe.”

“But if you’re not open to trying this, then I think we should consider a more radical intervention—inpatient treatment in the state hospital.”

I sat there and looked at him. “Are you threatening to lock me up?”

“Holly, I’m not threatening you with anything. I’m not threatening you. I’m trying to help you. And you’re very ill.”

“Can we drop this subject for now and discuss what I want to discuss?”

“We can’t, really. There’s no way to move forward until you have a view of your life that’s based in reality.”

“Okay,” I said. I looked around the room. There were no mirrors, and the curtains were closed. “Would you open the curtains?”

“Why?”

“I want to show you something. Just let me show you, and then if you don’t believe me I’ll accept whatever treatment you recommend.”

“All right.” He got up and walked over to the window. I followed him and stood behind him. He opened the curtains. It was completely dark outside. “Now what?” he said.

“Look at your reflection in the window.” He did. “Now look for mine.”

“You’re not—” he froze, staring at the window, then turned and looked at me. Then he looked back at the window. I moved close behind him and rested my chin on his shoulder.

“So where’s my reflection, O ye of little faith?”

He shook me off, looked at me, looked back at the window, back at me. “How are you doing that?” he said.

“I’m not doing anything.”

He kept looking from my face to the window, where he could find only his own reflection. “How… How…?”

“You’d better sit down, Don.”

He just stood there. I took his arm, led him to his chair, sat him down on it. “Now watch this,” I said. “And I’ll see you same time next week.”

I opened the window. Then I started to walk around the room, clockwise, walked faster, started to jog, and felt the change. When Don saw it, he screamed, curled up in the chair, and pissed in his pants. I could smell it and hear him screaming as I flew out the window.

#horror #fiction #vampires #urbanfantasy #paranormalromance

 
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from olry

LOL, just another one in the can. In #quarantine through all of it. Boring. Lame. Super-depressing. It wouldn’t have been as depressing if my back didn’t feel out-of-whack from the mattress, though it is basically fine now.

I am sure this whole Stay At Home All The Time With No Human Contact No Matter What thing will go over juuuuust great with people who have attachment issues. I’m sure it will all work out great. #sarcasm

Me? I think I will do the self-quarantine thing OK as I have been doing it for what seems like years leading up until now. I basically only visit family/friends about once per week, and even those visits are fairly short lived. So...yea. No big changes.

It’s the isolationism of a nomad in a new country (as opposed to a familiar one) where they don’t know anyone, but the downsides of it being your own home, not going anywhere, seeing anything. I have never been nomadic (unless you count homelessness in Florida in 2005), so I am not sure what life would’ve like when you were “living the dream” “experiencing new places/things” “trying great food” etc. but I am assuming the isolation that could come from it is a more or less a minor trade-off for all the fun/adventure.

Quarantine is NOT fun NOR an adventure. It’s hyper-lame and super-boring. And as bad as things seem to be, they may only get worse. Economically, I think the stock market will see an unrecoverable “Rock Bottom” in very short order and we will get to see what The Greater Depression looks like. It’s truly surreal, in my eyes.

And if I am being honest, I thought (at one time) of writing a book about a possible worldwide depression (taking inspiration from a book titled “Jihad” by Geoffrey Clarkson, that I incidentally read while in Florida). I was going to call this depression in the book “The Black Ages” and it was going to be complete with famine, melting ice glaciers, out of control disease, crumbling stock markets, business closures, a heating equator, floods, re-wilding and rewinding of advanced civilizations, etc. It was going to truly be over the top, for sure. And I am not saying all that that is happening at the moment, but a taste of it has already happened, is happening as I write this, and will increase in frequency over time.

People say it, #CV19, isn’t as bad as the Bubonic Plague, but there are similarities.

Anyway. Weird world.

 
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from the joyride.

I took a screenshot that I felt was pretty representative of how things might seem in the moment of the “Stay home! Stay safe!” and “Social distancing” mantras.

It is easy to feel separated, helpless, and under siege by the very world that we live in. Here, the weather has been warming up and spring is moving in. The beauty of the sun and the mountains are eclipsed by the walls of waiting.

As I said in my previous post, I plan to make most the downtime and rather than give into worry, create a sense of joy and hope. So far, I have...

  • I have taken the time to connect/reconnect with my online communities. I have done live chats, video chats, and caught live recordings of various podcasts.
  • I have gotten back into gaming and made use of some of my various Humble Bundle purchases and Steam purchases.
  • I have redone my home network with an updated Pi-Hole setup and included a new Open Media Vault pi setup for serving out my music, my ebooks, and hopefully soon backups of my DVD movies.
  • I have redone my web server, IRC bouncer, gopher server, and git server. Next up my RSS reader.
  • I have contributed processing power to the “Folding at Home” project to help battle not only COVID-19 but other diseases.
  • I have made my desk usable!
  • I have reached out to a friend in education to help with the her new needs in remote teaching.
  • I have finally used my “snap.as” integration.

Those are just some of the highlights. I have picked up my crochet hooks again (I cannot rightfully say that I have gotten passed my chain stitch yet, but I plan on working on it) and I have made my programming books a little more accessible so that I might actually learn and start using Python.

 
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from olry

Today was a weird day. Had a lot of back pain due to the warped mattress and the pain only alleviated itself when I flipped he mattress around and laid on it (napped) for a while. Now my back is feeling much better. Was a sunny day today, too. Expected the worst from #stlwx but got close to the best. I read the news once this AM. Once a day will suffice, for now.

The coffee is hot, delicious, but I wasn’t really in the mood for coffee, so... meh.

Anyways.....

 
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