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from Being Ashley

An Open Letter to the Men of Ashley Madison on Courting

I want to begin with saying, we know you are trying. We get that it must feel a little bit like the hunger games of pussy, we have heard your stories. We commiserate. For us it is not all that different, except that we are the hunted, and some times you are inadvertently terrifying. Possibly some of you may be trying terrifying on as a potential strategy, I’m going to go ahead and tell you to stop that right now.

I wanted to offer you some advice and assistance as a service to both you and your intended prey, a sort of how to guide for pussy if you will. To keep you focused I am structuring this into a top ten type list based on my experiences. Get your notebooks, I’m waiting.

  1. We get it. Really. You love licking women.

I am not sure who wrote the memo telling men that the way to catch a woman’s attention is to write her lengthy texts on how much you love eating pussy. I am not going to say its a bad thing. I am going to go ahead and say maybe start with something a little more basic. Like hi maybe? How are you? What’s your deal? An opening offer that includes all of my ice cream cone like possibilities, or elaborate scenarios of hanging me from the ceiling while licking me, may not feel quite right to start. I get I don’t speak for all women, and don’t get me wrong, your offer to “lap my juicy wetness all over your backseat” does have an interesting appeal, but maybe tell me your name first.

  1. However you start is now our expectation.

I cannot over emphasize this enough, do not over promise. I know you are excited, its cute really, but if you text us twenty times an hour for the first week we kind of think that’s who you are, and its really confusing when your game changes. Which it will. Because we have jobs and shit. Do not over commit, consider your opening pursuit carefully to avoid later irritating conversations. Also remember that exciting chat is totally an artificial environment, we may be totally mismatched or I might wear a cat as a wig or something, Not that I am judging ladies, you do you.

  1. We all lie about our weight and use overly flattering pictures.

You are doing it, We are doing it, Deal. It’s the human condition, Side note from a friend of mine also on the site; pictures more than six months old are unacceptable, She now asks you to hold up a current newspaper for validation.

  1. Learn what passive aggressive is and stop using it as a life tool.

Sometimes things happen fast, sometimes slow, sometimes not at all. Be clear on your expectations and don’t try and guilt us into changing, This shit can be scary, sometimes we need to assess you are not a serial killer. I am more likely to think you are if you say things like “I just want to get to know you” but then demand a list of all the things I am willing to do in your truck when we meet. Alternately, if things go fast and you get freaked out, don’t make that our fault, you were also there.

  1. I am not turned on by your problems at home.

I understand this is often hard for men in difficult relationships, You don’t tend to talk to other men. You are lonely, again, I get it. Have you considered a therapist? Or maybe a pet? If you spend our time telling me all the reasons your wife is not meeting your needs then you are now just another thing I have to take care of and support in my life, I promise you, this is the opposite of most women’s fantasy, We are already likely taking care of a lot of people’s needs, don’t make yourself another thing draining our life slowly from us, this is supposed to be our escape.

I know that technically a top ten list should have ten things but I feel that five is a good strong start. Do your homework and maybe we can start on the next section. Perhaps we can convince AM to host a Q and A?

Don’t worry, you’ll get this. I know it!

 
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from processimagining

It is necessary for one who wants to attain understanding to raise the intellect above the meaning of words rather than to insist upon their properties which, in any case, cannot be properly adapted to such great mysteries

Intellectual knowledge, alone and unaided, desires and exaggerates the victory of words

~Nicholas of Cusa

#nicholasofcusa #imagination #intelligence #meditations #mystagogy #mysticism

 
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from cytherean

i spent the summer and most of the autumn transmuting & transforming painful emotions after i had already spent most of the spring doing much of the same thankfully i had planned this life ahead of time and did most of my own personal emotional purging from 2010-2015 even with 5 years of full time work this year was too much 2017 was too fucking much

you left me too much you forced too much of your pain onto me and left me alone with no other choice than to do something with it

i can’t even remember what i was asking you the night you slammed your iron wall of defence in my face i just remember you saying something about my ego like i was trying to take something from you trying to use my ego to steal your energy or time or was it control you?

you said i was using my ego to attempt to control you by asking where you were by asking if you were ok in the middle of harvey and killernovas and proton x-flares and fires and madness and chaos and i was feeling all of it i was feeling all that energy

i was that energy and i didn’t understand why you were yelling EGO at me like i was some demon attempting to steal your soul when i was just overwhelmed and couldn’t stop crying and i only wanted to know you were someplace far removed from the center of that storm i only wanted to know you were still free not trapped stuck somewhere you couldn’t leave of your own free will i only wanted to know you were safe

i never needed a detailed itinerary of your plans or more than a few minutes of your time because i trust you i only needed you to step into your power and tell me everything was going to be ok

that’s what made me write this now me remembering you yelling EGO at me and i still don’t understand my aries moon my innocent heart will always be pure ego not selfish hurt people on purpose ego it will always be me me me me me me in an very naive way it can’t not be

aries is the baby of the zodiac a teenager at best i can’t make it understand something like a capricorn moon who’s ruled by saturn and is like 75-80 years old capricorn who’s wisdom and knowledge goes back before time even started and some how you expect my aries heart the youngest sign of the zodiac the first sign the spark of creation to understand the reality of things in the same way as your old heart and soul

you punish me when i don’t understand when i don't respond in the way you think i should respond like i intuitively know what this list of imaginary rules and appropriate responses are you've written & rewritten and i’m just stubbornly refusing to do anything the way i’m supposed to & all in a valiant effort to hurt you above all else..

when really i feel like a scared kid who lost his mom at the mall

 
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from write.as

We're excited to announce that November was our first month with positive cash flow 🎉 That means our existing monthly customers and new customers together generated enough revenue to cover all our basic expenses (besides the humans) for the month!

As a bootstrapped company going for sustainability, this is a major milestone for us. It means we're getting closer to profitability, and proving it's possible to build a simple, focused, and ad-free product that sticks around for good. That means you get to enjoy having a reliable home for your words for years to come, and don't have to sacrifice the things you care about (like your privacy) in the process.

We're incredibly excited to see what the coming months hold. To all the customers who have bought our product and thus helped fund us: thank you! We wouldn't be here without you. You're awesome.

On a related note, we've also launched our transparency site, Inside Write.as. There you'll find some of the metrics behind the platform, from how users and posts on the platform have grown over the past 3 years, to our annual revenue. This is just another step towards building a transparent organization that stays accountable to you.

 
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from specious pretexts

Just found out via Facebook news feed that an old friend died yesterday. No explanation. Just friends and family talking about him. Sad emojis, “feeling sad” Facebook-prescribed statuses, and then actual words elucidating their sadness. “See you on the other side” messages.

I don't have that comfort.

Just the reality of this person I knew for a couple short years gone, just like that. I didn't respond to the last text he sent me several months ago. I haven't talked to him in a few years, since I moved an hour down the road. I don't have heaven to wait till and talk to him, nothing to lighten the surprisingly immense weight of his death. The first one I've ever cared about in the course of my life.

Why the fuck didn't I text him back? Why is the world around me suddenly devoid of fuzzy illusions, suddenly crisp and plain and truthful?

A man I knew died, and with that fog lifted I see I cared about him more than I consciously believed. My busy, foggy mind decided not to text him back that day I was on vacation across the country. That same mind never gave weight to the thought that I should text him later. A clearer head might've asked how he'd been, made plans to visit that trailer in the woods and bullshit over a can or 10 of Natty Light. I could've met his new son.

Why the fuck did I think my thoughts were more important than someone else?


Later. And we always want to know how it happened, don't we? It's like death has struck close to home, and we just hope to avoid the same fate. We constantly play ignorant of the infinite ways our fragile lives can suddenly come to an end, so we clamor to hear about these first accounts so we can quietly say, Oh, I definitely wouldn't go out that way. How ignorant we are of the perpetual situation we're in. How ignorant I've been.

 
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from processimagining

The hovering of imagination can be thematized as separation, that is, as a spacing in which two moments are kept separate, each in its difference from the other. Yet to keep the moments separate is at the same time to hold them together. For separation is also relatedness; that is, one moment can be kept separate from the other only insofar as, in connection with the one moment, account is taken of the other–hence only insofar as a relatedness is maintained.

~John Sallis, Logic of Imagination, 162-3

#imagination #separation #relation #spacing #process #anaesthesia #johnsallis #alfrednorthwhitehead #parallel

 
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Anonymous

“We have so much in common!”

Is what you said to me as we roamed the somewhat busy streets of downtown Norfolk that Saturday. We muttered glorified gibberish to each other for what seemed like eternity. The sound that managed to escape our scarves rang in out ears like sleigh bells. You wanted to live in New York. I wanted to live in New York. With both of us living in the small town that we did, we yearned for the two day release of the weekend that permitted us to surround ourselves by the skyscrapers and inhabitants of the city. You were an avid lover of Fashion, and I could scroll through inspiration albums for days. You were a renowned dancer, and Music was my daily fuel, driving my brain like coffee. You were virtually a model, and I was practically a mistake. Ridden with facial imperfections, messy hair, and emotional baggage, I was trash compared to your glowing aura, perfect looks, and positive outlook. Every day after classes, you would go to slave away at your dance studio. I would exert all my remaining energy at practice. Neither of us had time for a relationship. I had never dated a single person in all the years that I lived. You had a strong, reliable, and charming boyfriend.

We had so much in common, yet we remain so far apart.

 
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from snap.as

Hey there! After a few years of planning, we're about to launch our very first complement to Write.as this week: a photo-hosting service called Snap.as.

We're still in the very early days of this product, so we're calling our initial release an alpha version — very bare-bones, not completely polished, but still useful right out of the gate. When we launch, you'll be able to quickly upload photos, save a note for each (more on this below), and get their URLs to include them in your Write.as posts.

We were planning to include the ability to import any existing images on your Write.as blogs, so they could have a permanent home within the Write.as suite of products. This is still coming, but not with the launch. We decided it's better to make sure this core product is solid, then add that feature next.

We are including the option to save text along with your photos. You'll see all it can do as we evolve, but it's part of what will set Snap.as apart in the future as a photo blogging platform. For now, you can save a short blurb or a Markdown-formatted essay with each photo, and some of it will be used as the photo's alt text, and it'll be saved for later. Include hashtags and they'll come in handy down the road.

Snap.as will be open to all active Write.as Pro users from day one, and we'll keep it available only to Pro users for the foreseeable future, as we think this product makes that monthly $4 subscription fee go much farther.

We can't wait to show you what we've built (and have planned). Stay tuned here and on Twitter for more updates!

 
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from Being Ashley

When What You Want Isn’t What You Need

As I sift through my own mind to try to better understand my patterns and current situation there is one thing that is abundantly clear, often the thing I think I want is not actually the thing I want, and certainly not the thing I need.

In getting to know other humans intimately I am able to see this a lot in others. People who are so used to wanting a certain thing they have become attached to that wanting, it’s like an old friend now, and they fail to be able to see they may not even want that thing anymore. They likely don’t need that thing, in fact, it almost always is causing them pain.

I too am attached to the wanting. The idea of a thing that will meet my needs, largely in the form of another person. I am inherently disappointed and I know that one likely reason is that I don’t actually need the thing I think I want. I am just deeply attached to the idea of it. And so. I am surprised when I become ambivalent to it, when a man I think I want reaches out to me and I feel the urge to shrug with indifference. I engage, I think, I want this, I better take advantage of it’s presence, what if it goes away and I have nothing?

But I know. I don’t want this. I am sure of it now. Now the job is to figure out how to let go of the wanting and recognize the pattern for what it is.

 
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from Vijayendra Mohanty

We are apes. We came from an ape-like ancestor roughly ten to fifteen lakh years ago. We have made our way on this planet by using a few qualities that evolution bestowed upon us. One of these qualities is imagination. Yuval Noah Harari (author of Sapiens) calls the acquisition of this gift the Cognitive Revolution.

From human imaginations came structures that hold society together. These structures were not physical ones, but they did end up being the foundation for a lot of physical things in our lives — places of religious value, sacred artifacts, clothes that mark some members of society as being different from others (priests and monks), ideas like good & evil, morality, and even justice.

I have personally come to the conclusion that the idea of justice, more than anything else, is the reason behind the idea of an afterlife.

Think about it. What is justice? It is the assumption that human beings are responsible for the consequences of their actions. Nations have legal frameworks that ensure justice is meted out. Holy books of many religions speak of what constitutes good deeds and bad deeds. They even contain elaborate descriptions of the consequences that people will suffer for their deeds. Some of these consequences come to us while we are still alive — prison, a thousand lashes, stoning, banishment etc. Other consequences — punishments and rewards so great that nothing in this world can possibly measure up — are said to belong in the life after death.

Religions are stories that we made up to make sense of our place in the world. These stories grew in size and scope and listeners became followers and then actual characters in the stories. The rules of the stories began to apply to the people who were listening to them. It is not something that is often readily apparent, but the stories you listen to, can swallow you whole. It starts when you cry while reading a novel, or while watching a movie. The next thing you know, you are cosplaying at the comic con. Humankind, the species of ape that is us, was swallowed by the stories it told when it did not have a very good grasp of the way the world works.

Justice does not exist. It has no reality outside of human imagination. It only works because we make it work with the help of each other. And often, it doesn’t even work then. You don’t need me to give me examples. We all know good people who have suffered and bad people who have gotten away without punishment. Justice is a fiction that must be real if human society is to work.

So here we are. We need to believe justice exists (otherwise, what’s the point?). But we can see with our own eyes that there is no absolute justice in the world. So we push the boundaries of our story and tell ourselves that justice does exist, that the good will be rewarded no matter what, and that the bad will be punished no matter what. We tell ourselves that death is not the end and that there is space for justice to work even after a human being ceases to exist. And since the imparting of justice requires judges law enforcers, and punishers, the afterlives we imagine are full of gods, angels, demons, and divine jail keepers.

 
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Anonymous

Dear Four Blue Hearts,

Thanks for the message. Sorry for the delay I wasn't sure how to respond. Part of me didn't want to respond, but I don't want to play game and a part of me feels like Im playing a game if I don't respond. When I texted you a few weeks back, it was wrong of me, it created an awkward situation for you. Now I find myself in a similar awkward narrative.What we both need to do is put the walls back up and pretend we don't exist. We've caused each other too much pain. What I need is closure and you will never give that to me. The only way I will get closure if to put the wall up and walk away from this narrative in my life. I love you, I will always love you Aspi.

From 💙💙💙💙

 
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from Storyflock Journal

Cosmic radiation

I have taught Design, Art and Media Art theory (practice and process) at the graduate as well as the post-graduate levels, so when I spell out specific problems that the so-called “creative-sector” is dealing with in India, I come from a point where I have had the opportunity to observe how some of the the brightest and youngest professionals are trained. The “creative sector” is composed of the design and content service providers (henceforth referred to by the term “design services,” “design talent” and “design sector” depending on the context) is facing a value arbitration of sorts.

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from Syntax Error

Hi,

It has been 15 days since you dropped the bomb on me. Still, I have trouble believing that you are getting married, these 15 days have been full of drama in my life the most horrible days. I have never been this low at any point in time so far. we both had it coming, we both were aware that this is going to happen, you and I can never be together, so why so much pain now??? It took me these 15 days to realise why I'm so hurt and in this pain, not because of you for telling me all of a sudden that you are getting married, or that you already like that girl so much that you don't say I love you to me anymore when we chat or talk over phone, or now you indulge in chatting with her on the last day of us being together, or you ignoring me and asking me to stop messaging you anymore as it is better for both of us....NO..... these are not the reasons for my pain. Because it is the truth and its bound to happen as you are starting your life with that girl.

Then what is the reason??

  1. I never put 100% efforts in convincing my parents for us. never fought for my love as you did because something or the other thing came up with my parents, they were going through so much pain that I couldn't be the reason for another shock for them.– I regret...

  2. I took you for granted. yes, you must be waiving your head right now saying it's not true but when I think of all the fights that we had on silly stuff, we took breaks in our relationship so many times because of me, apart from that I didn't make you feel special ( I messaged you on the other day about not buying lace lingeries and nighty that you adore so much)– I regret...

  3. Karma is a bitch- although we both knew we are never going to get married, I always thought that I'll be the first one to get married, it would have been an easier transaction for me. I was going for an easy way, I never thought what will happen to you, how will you live your life without me in it, I was being so selfish.... but karma ....!!! you are getting married first, I was not prepared for it at all and that is the major cause of pain for me.– I regret now that I never thought about you, I should have....

My Apologies: I apologize for acting out all these 15 days like a crazy bitch, but u understand my pain, I think you are going through it too.

My expectations: when I was groom hunting, I always use to say that you are my husband and the next guy is going to be a compromise for me, now I don't expect that from you because some girl is leaving her parents house for you and you are responsible for her well-being and happiness. but, as your girlfriend and your best friend from last 5 years, I expect you to maintain contact with me, you had made some promises to me too, I want you to keep those promises- promise to keep me in your heart forever, loving me endlessly, I want nothing more than this. your friendship is all I seek now from you.

I am going to cherish all the moments we had together and will keep you in my heart forever.

I know it is not easy for you, but still, you have her now so it's easy comparatively. don't neglect me as if I am some girl behind your life, who will mess things up in your married life, I'm not that person you should know that. You just messaged me saying that stop messaging me it will be better for both of us, kind of broke my heart.

Guideline for our new relationship:

  1. I'm going to write you every night 1 email about my day, just like we use to do it before.– want to keep some connection with you.
  2. it is all up to you if you want to reply back or just delete the email as you receive it- I will be happy if you reply. I would have done it for you if I would have gotten married first.
  3. If I can't stop the urge to message you, I will message you on facebook messenger, it is safer than WhatsApp if you have an issue with it, let me know I will not do it, also I'll reply back to you on WhatsApp only when you ping me.
  4. please please reply nicely, we are friends, not strangers. I was not the only one in love in our relationship. you have responsibilities too.

there is a lot to write but this is it as of now. I'll keep the trend going, I hope you do too.

 
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Anonymous

You've heard the story of Pandora's Box, right? Most people have. It's usually a good story, and a hopeful one. But I realized something about it, something that explains the one detail that doesn't make sense. Just to remind you of the story, in case you've forgotten anything: One day the gods decide to punish a man called Epimetheus. As the first part of their plan, they give him a woman, called Pandora, and a box, which he is told not to open. But the gods, as another part of the plan, had given Pandora gifts like beauty, musicality, eloquence, and curiosity. One day, this final gift led her to open the box. And held in the box was every evil that exists now: death, fear, hunger, war, and many others. And in the bottom of the box, the only thing that stayed, was Elpis, whose name means hope.

It sounds uplifting, doesn't it, that they find hope at the end of the story. I think, though, that the gods' true punishment was giving hope to mankind. The other evils were only there to make us turn to something else. To hope, the worst demon of the lot. And we do. Every time. We hope for something better. None of us ever gets it. And so, in the end, the gods just sit and watch us... and laugh.

 
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