from Darnell (Hard News)

So, after much hesitation, I decided to launch this blog, albeit on an XXX domain.

There are no hardcore people who are dancing in their birthday suits here, although I wanted a site dedicated to discussing some of the more disturbing news we encounter on planet Earth that we need to know about.

Topics will include (but are not limited to):

  • War atrocities
  • Human trafficking
  • Terrorism
  • Actual Genocide (in detail)
  • Internment Camps

These will be topics I cover here instead of my other sites, as they are too depressing or negative.

Anyway, that is the gist of it!

 
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from mimo

Quand j'ai lu la déclaration du premier ministre François Legault voulant qu’il n’y ait pas de crise agricole au Québec, tout au plus des normes environnementales trop sévères, j’ai vu qu'il n'était visiblement pas au fait de ce que vivent les femmes et les hommes qui ont choisi d'œuvrer en agriculture. Il y a bel et bien une crise de l'agriculture et à mon avis, c'est même une crise existentielle.

#Agriculture #CriseAgricole #Québec

D'abord, voici la déclaration du premier ministre:

« Les producteurs maraîchers ont été très clairs, a-t-il rétorqué [au chef de l’opposition officielle]. Quand je leur ai demandé quelle est la cause première de leurs problèmes, ils m’ont dit : ce sont les normes qui ne sont pas les mêmes au Québec qu’à l’étranger. » Pas de crise, mais un problème de normes, selon Legault. La Presse.

Disons que c'était passablement réducteur comme tentative de réduire l'ampleur d'une crise qui n'affecte pas que la production maraîchère. Le ministre de l'Agriculture, des Pêcheries et de l'Alimentation (MAPAQ) a d'ailleurs tenté de ramener la situation à sa plus juste échelle en parlant de «tempête» et «d'enjeux» face à «plusieurs éléments de façon concurrente qui se manifestent en même temps.»

Justement, dans un texte intitulé Crise agricole en Allemagne. À quand pour le Québec?, Maxime Laplante de l’Institut de recherche et d’informations socioéconomiques (IRIS) traite de ces enjeux en les comparant à ceux que vit l'agriculture allemande.

En somme, des problèmes très semblables à ce que vivent les fermes du Québec : dépenses en augmentation, normes environnementales plus exigeantes et coûteuses, augmentation de la valeur des terres, de l’endettement, plus de paperasse due à la bureaucratisation du secteur.

Un peu plus loin dans son texte, Maxime Laplante pointe du doigt l’Union des producteurs agricoles (UPA).

En principe, la fameuse gestion de l’offre devait servir à ça : sécuriser le revenu agricole. Au lieu de ça, c’est devenu une situation de privilèges, gérée en conflit d’intérêts, accentuant la concentration des fermes, l’augmentation de leur valeur, poussant à l’endettement.

Justement, l'Union paysanne présentait le 16 février dernier un mémoire au MAPAQ, dans le cadre de la Consultation nationale sur le territoire et les activités agricoles.

Pour l'Union paysanne, le modèle de la Loi sur la protection du territoire et des activités agricoles du Québec (LPTAAQ) actuel renforce les problématiques que nous affrontons : le nombre de fermes au Québec diminue et la moyenne d’âge des agriculteurs augmente.

À mesure que les exploitations se sont regroupées, que les possibilités de se procurer une terre agricole se sont raréfiées et que le prix des terres a augmenté, il est devenu pratiquement impossible pour les femmes, ainsi que pour les hommes ne venant pas d’une lignée agricole, de se lancer dans le métier. La LPTAAQ a eu des conséquences importantes sur la place des femmes en agriculture, elle continue d’en avoir sur le développement et le renouvellement de l’agriculture aujourd’hui.

Bref, le Québec a trop misé sur une agriculture à l'échelle industrielle, dite agriculture productiviste.

En 2007, à la suite d'un autre mémoire de l'Union paysanne, M. Pronovost qui présidait la Commission sur l’avenir de l’agriculture et de l’agroalimentaire québécois, demanda à la Chaire de recherche du Canada en éducation relative à l’environnement (UQAM), de préciser quels sont les désavantages, les points positifs et les éléments à conserver et à faire évoluer de l’agriculture productiviste.

L'exemple de l'industrie porcine servit à illustrer la réponse de la Chaire: «L’industrie porcine actuelle, dont le développement répondait initialement à l’espoir des bienfaits de la production intensive, montre maintenant de façon fort éloquente les multiples dérives et les fracas de l’agriculture industrielle.» La Chaire invitait également «à envisager de toute urgence des solutions menant au développement d’une agriculture responsable, c’est-à-dire écologique et solidaire.» (Regard sur l’agriculture productiviste à la lumière de l’étude de cas de la production porcine industrielle)

Certes, l'agriculture productiviste a des avantages, dont celui d’augmenter fortement les rendements agricoles et de diminuer les coûts de production, mais depuis un certain temps on assiste à un contrecoup de ses méthodes de production basées sur l'utilisation d'intrants chimiques, mais aussi de ses effets négatifs à la fois sur le milieu agricole et sur tout ce qui gravitait autour de l'agriculture.

Comme l'écrit la Chaire, «l’agriculture productiviste a profondément modifié les rapports des humains avec la terre, la nourriture, la vie.»

Dans l'introduction de son ouvrage Le modèle agricole territorial paru en 2020 aux Presses de l'Université du Québec, Chantale Doucet parle pour sa part de deux logiques d'action en agriculture.

En simplifiant, on peut dire que le développement de l’agriculture fait appel à deux principales logiques d’action, celle sectorielle et structurée par filière fortement encouragée dans le système agricole québécois et l’autre, méconnue, que nous appelons «modèle agricole territorial»

Ce dernier modèle est basé sur des «entreprises agricoles qui misent sur de nouvelles stratégies et valeurs ancrées dans leur milieu avec des modes renouvelés de mise en marché de produits.»

Réalistement, on ne va pas faire disparaitre du jour au lendemain l'agriculture productiviste, mais à tout le moins on devrait de plus en plus tendre vers une autre agriculture qui émerge depuis une vingtaine d’années d'un foisonnement de nouveaux projets collectifs et innovateurs au Québec.

Voilà de quoi nous inspirer afin que notre agriculture puisse continuer d'exister.

Photo: https://www.unionpaysanne.com/

 
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from Roscoe's Quick Notes

Queen Knight Rook Checkmate

I won this server-based Correspondence Chess game this morning when my White Queen Checkmated the Black King. We can see that the King's only possible flight square is occupied by my Knight protected by my e4 Rook.

posted Thursday 28/Mar/2024 #QNMAR2024 #chess

 
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from Peekachello Art

Russian olive bowl with lid

Got some Russian olive from a friend last Saturday. This bowl came out of one of the pieces. There are two cracks that wanted to come apart as I was turning it, and the shape was largely dictated by another crack that did come apart (and which put a dent in the ceiling of my shop).

Russian olive bowl with lid

The lid was part of the chunk that came off. It had a branch near the middle that had rotted, so I filled that with epoxy and stuck on a handle turned from another offcut.

Russian olive bowl with the lid off

Mostly turned with a bowl gouge, but I also used a few scrapers, a carbide turning tool, a skew, and a bedan. Finished with homemade friction finish plus some wax.

Inside of Russian olive bowl

#project #bowl #woodturning

 
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from Uncovering Your Reality

Actually I just completely evaporated for a while. Life started happening, things have been changing, and I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus since.

What changed?

Well, I was able to get my debt paid off. The phone stopped ringing. The collection agencies are gone. I’m free!!

I’ve also been doing about 6 years worth of income tax. I gave up on it for a long time because I thought it was hopeless. I just saw it as a trap that I was going to get caught in, so I walked away. But now I’m working through them. I’ll have them done shortly.

I bought some things for the house, only bought one tarot deck (not 12), bought some new clothes, new slippers, plus a few other things I needed.

Life has been busy but good.

It’s allowed me to re-focus myself, pay for the platforms I use for the next year, doing away with some of those so-called micro-payments. Little things like that make a difference.

But now I’m struggling with my content – or more accurately – I’m struggling with what I talk about, not how I talk about it, or the way in which I share it. I’m not bothered by blogs or books. I’m even thinking about creating a static info site of sorts with all kinds of things on it.

I always have a lot to say. Finding things to talk about really isn’t much of an issue, but I’m being pulled in a very specific direction that I’m not so sure about.

What is that direction?

Non-conformance. Bucking the system. Managing ourselves within the experience in such a way that we can step out of the system, back off from it, and completely do our own thing. Punching holes in the stories we tell about the system and how it works. Poking holes in the idea that we need to fight or struggle or defend ourselves. Allowing the natural laws of balance to balance themselves. We spend a lot of time messing with the balance creating more problems than we solve. Plus many other ideas that I’ve come across over the last few years.

These kinds of concepts make people mad. They defend the fight quite strongly. I still have this thing where I don’t like to be a sh!t disturber. I enjoy my peace. Creating content like that won’t offer me very much peace.

I get that I don’t have to stay in those relationships. I get that I can walk away. I get that I don’t have to argue. I understand how this works. I can manage myself within the experience. I just want an experience that doesn’t make me manage myself constantly. Does that make sense?

I don’t want to deal with the aggression that comes from challenging the idea that we have to fight with everything. I still like posting things that people agree with and don’t argue with. I like things to be easy. Writing is easy. Writing things that people argue with is easy. Dealing with the arguments after I share what I wrote isn’t easy. I don’t want to deal with the arguments. But then I’m also a healer and that’s actually my job. Showing people the pain is part of the job. If everything I post is easy for other people to handle, then I’m not really doing what I’m here to do.

In all honesty, it all ties back into self-mastery. It’s part of being able to manage yourself within the experience. One of the ways we can do that is by understanding where we’re trapping ourselves through our perception of the world around us. The world around us just happens to include a bunch of messed up systems and ways of being that don’t work. Seeing those clearly is part of how we can free ourselves to be okay. Seeing those clearly allows us to manage ourselves better. When the system offers pain, the idea is to free ourselves from that pain, but to do that we have to understand how our perception affects the pain we feel. If we can heal our perception then we don’t need to try to fix anything outside of ourselves. We can just walk away from the whole thing.

It’s easier just to offer you inspirational quotes all day, but I’d get bored. I won’t do that for an extended period of time. I get bored too easy. I get annoyed quickly by things that feel repetitive. I need the variety of being able to write about different things. Would arguing with people keep me from getting bored? Maybe. But that’s not peaceful is it? Oh, the conundrums I create for myself.

The other piece of this is that the reason I write has changed. I’ve done the work on myself. That’s not to say that I’m completely healed or anything like that. It’s just to say that I don’t need to write for me like I used to. Writing for myself used to offer a steady flow of content. It doesn’t anymore. I’m lucky if I need to write a blog a month for myself these days. Everything I write is now for others. It’s offering me an opportunity to be more creative. It opens up the relationship with my writing considerably. That’s also a bit scary because I never know what’s going to come out until I type it.

My intuition wants me to go with the flow. It’s not until I sit down to type that I get the inspiration. They want me to wing it instead of having a plan. Did I mention that’s complicated for me? I like plans.

I mentioned that I wanted to create a static info site of sorts which would be part course, part essays, and part blog. Maybe even part podcast. It would be a lot of different things. But I’m not allowed to have a plan anymore. I have to wing it. The inspiration will come later. I don’t do so well with that. I still like to have a system in place. I still like a plan. I still want the guidance before I go down the path. I’m being pushed out of the proverbial nest and being asked to go with the flow more.

The shift is real.

Its a bit on the scary side. I don’t really like what I’m being asked to do.

Guess what?

I need to get over myself and figure it out.

Everything I just wrote is a story that I’m telling myself. Everything.

That means that I need to drop the story so that I can move on. That means I need to drop the fear. I need to feel the fear and do it anyway. I need to be okay with winging it. I need to trust the plan will show up. I need to trust the details will appear when I need them. I just need to go with it.

For the moment, I’m not going with it. I’m stopped. That’s all fear and the story of my perception of things at the moment.

Can I get past it?

Of course I can and I will.

It’s never a question of whether or not I’ll get there. It’s only a question of how long it takes me to do it.

How do I know that? Because even when I argue with the relationship, I don’t let go of the relationship. I just figure out how to get okay with it. I just figure out how to manage myself in the experience of that relationship. I accept the relationship with my writing. I accept that I’m a writer. I also accept that I’m a healer. I’m just figuring out how to do both while honoring my intuition so that I can fulfill the reason why I’m here on this planet.

Yes, I feel that this is my path. It is part of my purpose in this human form. I’m willing to go on that journey. I just have to get out of my own way first. That’s what I’m attempting to do by writing this blog. I’m doing what I know. If I want to heal it, then I have to write about it. I could keep it to myself, but what’s the fun in that?

It’s not just about questioning everything, it’s also about sharing everything. So I’m sharing my struggles with you so you can see how this works and how I manage it for myself. I recognize the stories that I tell. I also have the pleasure of figuring out how to drop them or heal them because that’s my job. That’s what I talk about. That’s what I offer you. It’s what I do for myself every single day.

I live this way and I encourage you to do the same. You can free yourself. It will be okay. You will be fine. You do just have to trust yourself and nothing outside of you. When you can trust yourself, feel the fear and do it anyway. life changes dramatically. It has for me and it will for you too.

Love to all.

Della

 
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from AbiertaPorInventario

Esto ha sido una especie de cita de jueves. De aquellas nuestras. Solo que empezó en miércoles. Hace mil años de esos tiempos. Mil años de las clases de samba. Mil años de tú viniendo a recogerme. Poniéndote celosísimo de presuntos hombres que presuntamente me hablaban, que yo ni percibía. Aquel japo ya cerró. Nos encantaba la terraza, el vino blanco especial sushi. La comida. El ritual. Yo iba siempre echa un asco y tú siempre me veías guapísima. Un poco como hoy.

Otra vez nuestro primer japo en España, porque para qué innovar. Un sitio q hace mucho pasó a ser también mío y de mis amigas. Que eso pase te gusta. Que te guste me encanta. Yo despeinada. La cara lavada después de yoga. Camiseta cortada por el cuello con mis propias manos torpes, que me está gigante. El sujetador de dos posiciones puesto del lado menos sexy (que obviamente es el cómodo) porque los dos sabemos que nadie más que yo va a verlo esta noche. También sabemos los dos que cualquier lado te parecería sexy. Que siempre te gustó no sé si tanto mi espalda como mi obsesión por enseñarla. Es un mapa del cielo austral. Decías. No te pegaba nada decir aquello según nosequién y en cambio yo nunca me sorprendía con tu poética ingenieril. Tus frases lapidarias peliculeras. No sé cómo haces para cuadrar la agenda. Me gusta que lo hagas. No sé cómo hacemos para que todo siga siendo tan sencillo. ¿Te acuerdas de aquel día que no me reconociste en Montera? Llovía más que hoy y te hacía al otro lado del mundo, te saludé y luego lo entendí. Acabamos en Costello. Yo volvía de un concierto. Apareciste de la nada en la red de San Luis. Costello ya no existe. El otro día Ene me escribió a cuenta de OT. ¿Eso qué era? Un concurso de cantantes. Me escribió porque en OT hay una pareja monísima y yo los amo y puse un tuit. Ene dice que cómo soy tan cabrona. Que ella sigue sin olvidarnos a ti y a mi en aquella banqueta. No se cree que eran dos banquetas. Dice que nunca le parecí menuda excepto aquella noche. Que tú eras el único que sabía quién cojones era Drexler en una mesa llena de uruguashos. Que nos sentábamos como si fuésemos uno. Que dábamos asco de tan felices. Tan compenetrados. Que si no me da vergüenza ponerme así con los novios de OT como si fuese algo que nunca he vivido. Yo le respondí que precisamente porque lo viví. Que me hubiera gustado ver lo q ella veía mientras me mandaba mensajes graciosísimos desde el otro lado de una mesa muy larga. Porque no sé cómo estábamos sentados aquella noche. Como siempre, supongo. En mi cabeza esa noche es vestirme dos veces por tu culpa. Llegar tarde porque hay cosas inevitables. Sentirme guapísima. Sentirme odiada por aquella comercial de vodka que tonteaba contigo, te dio una botella preciosa que me entregaste con pompa innecesaria diciéndole “la quiero y ella quería la botella, no tenía alternativa” Llevaba cristales de Swarovsky morados. Ahora está en casa de tus padres porque fue el precio por una consultoría sobre cloud que me salió baratísima. La botella me daba igual. El chiste eras tú luchando por ella. Mr nada me importa. Mr me iré de tu vida en 4 meses. Ha pasado media vida pero cenar contigo en un tatami sigue siendo fácil. Como era fácil trabajar contigo, viajar contigo, andar contigo. Lo único difícil era tu nomadismo vital. Esa necesidad imperiosa de que todo sea provisional por si acaso. Ahora que cenamos de ciento en viento y las horas parecen minutos y sigues riéndote igual aunque ya no tengas ni un solo pelo negro y sigo eligiendo no peinarme, no maquillarme, no arreglarme casi nunca que nos vemos, ahora que ninguno tenemos miedo a nada, todo es fácil y es bonito y es verdad y no es. Aunque tenga un BuJo de piel y corcho portugués, tamaño viaje (debería caber en la mitad de tus bolsillos, dijiste mientas lo montaba), color azul, regalo de los 44 para recordarme que sí es. Es la prueba de que algunos lo entienden. Y con eso ya valdría. Pero es que muchos de mis recuerdos más felices son contigo. Y es un mérito exclusivamente tuyo. Aquella manía que mantienes de escucharme, creerme, tomarme en serio. Y disculparte como nadie se ha disculpado conmigo jamás. Y volver en marzo, siempre que puedes, a recordadme que la magia existe, la suerte existe, la química existe y la gente que cuida lo que importa incluso aunque se equivoque, también existe. Gracias, un año más.

 
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from Intel + Graphy

I turn off Bluetooth whenever I'm not using my wireless earbuds.

I do not have my phone in front of public cameras, let alone have anyone next to me peek, when I'm inputting passwords, especially for sensitive accounts such as banking.

I put tape on webcams and back cameras on my devices. I rarely use the former anyways.

 
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from Telmina's notes

表題の通り、私は今春、お花見に行くことはなさそうです。

 昨年は、メイド喫茶主催のお花見に参加しておりました。

 ところが、今年は平日開催になるようで、休暇を取得しない限り参加は不可能です。

 それ以前に、どうも今年はお花見を洒落込むような気分には到底なれないのです。

 昨年11月に電車通勤を再開して以来、昨夜述べたように連日一方的にストレスを押しつけられています。そのため、ある意味仕事以上にエネルギーを使ってしまい、土日は可能な限り安静に過ごしたいというのが本音です。

 それに、どうも個人的に、過去に参加したお花見と称するイベントに対し、あまりいい印象を抱いた覚えがありません。残念ながら昨年参加したお花見も例外ではありませんが、昨年はまだマシだったほうで、大抵は大して親しくもない人間に囲まれて場の雰囲気になじめず浮いてしまい、しかも飲みたくもない酒を飲まされたという記憶しかありません。

 いったい、お花見の何がいいのか、私には到底理解出来ないのです。

 かくいう私は、

  • 花より団子
  • 団子よりきれいなおねいさん

という考えの持ち主ですので、まあ、花見を楽しめるはずもありませんよね。まあ昨年はきれいなおねいさんが何人もいたからまだよかったようなものですが(ぉぃ)。

 自分はただでさえ人混みに近寄りたくない人間ですので、今年は遠くからさくらを眺める程度で済ませようと思います。写真撮影すらしないと思います。

best quality,4k, realistic, masterpiece, RAW photo, back view, Some tall Japanese voluptuous short-haired intelligent beautiful girls are going to cherry blossom viewing party in the rainy day.

This image is created by NMKD Stable Diffusion GUI.

#2024年 #2024年3月 #2024年3月29日 #ひとりごと #雑談 #花見

 
もっと読む…

from Kroeber

#001647 – 09 de Março de 2024

Trabalho em ritmo acelerado. Chuva em fôlegos surpreendentes. Fleet Foxes, Volcano Choir e Beirut a sossegar a alma.

 
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from nahzhluh

Claire Keegan's So Late in the Day

Intro in “The Long and Painful Death”:

“It was three o'clock in the morning when she finally crossed the bridge to Achill Island. There at last, stood the village: the fisherman's co-op, the hardware and grocery, the chapel of reddish stone, every building locked and silent under the dimly burning street lamps. On she drove along a dark strip of road where, on either side, tall rhododendron hedges had gone wild and out of bloom. Not one person did she see, not one lighted window, just sleeping, black-legged sheep and later a fox standing fearsome and still in the headlights. The way grew steep then rounded into a wide, empty road. She could feel the ocean, the bogs; immense, open space. The turn for Dugort wasn't marked – but she felt confident in turning north along the uninhabited road that took her to the Böll House.”

Chills! Keep thinking about this. Just effortless.

 
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from ldstephens

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote that I had sold my M2 11” iPad Pro and iPad Mini.

So, in the spirit of simplifying my life, I decided to ditch the iPads so there's no more internal struggle about underutilizing them. I traded them in for an iPhone 15 Pro Max, joining my trusty M1 MacBook Air. With Apple Silicon Macs, everything changed for me. They are a game changer!

So I thought I would update you on how that has worked out. Honestly, I don't miss having an iPad at all. Between my iPhone 15 Pro Max and M1 Air, I get everything done. It has simplified my life. No more wrestling with whether the iPad fits in my tech hardware stack. What a relief!

 
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from bruegge.dev

A hedge made from dead wood, with a blue sky and some clouds

Today, again a summary of 2 weeks. This time there is a bit more to say. :)

The Good

🤘 I was at 3 concerts in 1 week, Botch and Heavysaurus, The Halo Effect and Meshuggah. Quite an endeavor, but it made a lot of fun. The Heavysaurus concert was also the second together with my oldest child.

🏡 We made good progress in and around our house. In the following weeks we will get heaters in the Cellar. ~50% of the walls a painted and the rest is waiting to get plastered. Outside the house, we finally got rid of our sand heap, which was there for around 4 years. After getting rid of all our hedges, there was room to fill in the sand.

🏗️ In Week 11 I've signed a new contract for my next development project. In Week 12 I started with a soft onboarding because there were colleagues on vacation.

📈 Some weeks ago, I've opened a depot and bought some ETFs (ISHSIII-CORE MSCI WLD DLA) to get familiar with this topic. I bought them at the right time, where they had a high. 😅 I need to take some more time and explore this topic more to get the best out of it.

The Bad

👶 The Kita rejected our blind child after promising they will take care of him from August on. When I heard it, I was paralyzed and speechless. This made my furious. We did all we can to support them with it. We got one-to-one support and had support from all the authorities, and still, they rejected him.

🧑‍💻 Currently, with all the stuff ongoing on our house and with the kids, there is not much time for me to program on my side projects. Let's see what eastern would bring. Maybe some time. 😂

🤖 I've fucked up my paperless-ngx installation again. And again, I didn't make a backup. After I re-added my documents and tags, I need to force me to make a backup and think about a periodic solution. ☝️

🪟 I haven't used Windows since XP. Sometimes in a VM to Test webpages with Internet Explorer, but I never installed it on a physical machine. So I thought I will never get a Project which completely is tied to Microsoft and Windows. Sure, in the past, you had Teams and all the office and Azure stuff, but Windows? I thought this was a thing of the past. Let's see how this is going, after 9–10 years of Linux and 1 year of Mac as a Freelancer.

The Ugly

😠 I'm furious and feel a lot of hate for the Kita people responsible for rejecting our blind child. I don't want to feel like this, it makes me sad, but at them moment I don't know how I should handle this. Especially when you have to go to the Kita every day and leave your oldest child there. For him, you have to pretend that everything is fine, but inside you could scream at these people. It's hard because they put you in this spot out of egoism and maybe fear of changing their daily life for no reason… But I think we have to get used to this because this will not be the last time we are confronted with something similar. It makes me so sad because he is such a lovely child with a lot of joy to live.


18/100 of #100DaysToOffload

#log #GoodBadUgly

 
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from The Poet Sky

Winter, she's alright for staying in and curling up tight but I'm looking to break out and sing When we all wake up in Spring Autumn leaves are beautiful So are trees with orange and brown bountiful But I want to see flowers blooming All of them smiling at Spring

The Summer sun smiles on everyone Young and old, all out to have fun But there's nothing like seeing hope shining As the world comes alive in Spring

I look forward to seeing her year round Whether leaves or snow on the ground When I see her awaken, I'll run out dancing Cos I'm living for Spring

#Poetry #Joy #Spring #Nature

 
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from Flat Mountain Dispatches

A brackish archipelago; faint smell of sea-weed from tideless waters. Reeds and grasses billowing where polished bedrock plunges into the Baltic. A coastline of ash, beech, thick old growth oak. Stoney shores growing juniper, sloe, common heather. Linnets picking over bitter berries. Crowding scant windbent mountain pine.

▽ | #journal

 
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from An Open Letter

And today, with 2 days left I finished it off.

135 –> 265 bench

135 –> 315 squat

165 –> 425 deadlift

for a grand total of 1005 pounds, all within a year of starting the gym!

I technically haven’t pushed squat yet, that will be in 2 days, but no matter what I’ve reached my goal. I didn’t feel any pleasure after it, I was pretty depressed so I felt nothing really. But at least I did it.

R – 3 breaths

E – I hit my unreasonable goal, and I didn’t feel happy or overwhelming joy in any way. I was just depressed, and so pretty much nothing would have changed that.

S – Give it some time, and then celebrate later

T – Be kind to yourself.

 
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