Enough about my darned hips. They do seem to be getting better, though very slowly.

My correspondence chess work has been occupying more of my time these past several months. Through the late Summer and Autumn months my game load has averaged from 1 to 2 dozen active games most days. New tournaments I've entered have increased my game load quite a bit, and when play starts in one of those new tourneys later this month, and the other in January... well, it's a good thing I'm fully retired.

Jan. and Feb. could see me working on 3 or 4 doz. active games per day. Making 1 move per game per day, and allowing proper reflection and study time between moves won't leave many extra hours.

Here is the final board position of a game I won today. White and I fought for over 60 full moves before I checkmated his King using all four of my remaining pieces and the edge of the board. It was my Bishop that delivered the mating move.

posted Monday 04/Dec/2923 ~16:00 #QNDEC2023 #chess

#001551 – 04 de Dezembro de 2023

Sair de mim. Regressar a mim. Ser o que ainda não conheço.

Ett tyngdtäcke är ett terapeutiskt hjälpmedel som är designat för att vara tyngre än ett vanligt täcke. Typiskt väger dessa täcken mellan 4 och 14 kg, men vikten kan variera beroende på individens behov och preferenser. Vikten i täcket fördelas jämnt över användarens kropp och ger en form av djuptrycksstimulering, vilket kan ha en lugnande och avkopplande effekt.

Tyngdtäckena är ofta fyllda med material som små plastpärlor, glaspärlor eller metallkedjor för att uppnå den önskade tyngden. Denna vikt skapar en lätt tryckkänsla över kroppen, liknande en fast omfamning eller en massage. Syftet med detta tryck är att efterlikna en terapiform känd som djuptrycksstimulering, vilket har visat sig kunna hjälpa till att minska ångest och stress, förbättra humöret och hjälpa till med sömnproblem.

Tyngdtäcken används ofta som ett hjälpmedel för personer med vissa medicinska tillstånd, som autism, ADHD, sömnlöshet, ångest och stressrelaterade tillstånd. De används även av människor som helt enkelt finner den extra tyngden lugnande och behaglig, vilket kan bidra till en bättre sömnkvalitet.

Det är viktigt att notera att tyngdtäcken inte rekommenderas för mycket små barn eller för personer som inte kan flytta täcket av sig själva. Likaså ska individer med vissa medicinska tillstånd, som vissa typer av andningsproblem eller blodcirkulationsproblem, rådgöra med en läkare innan de använder ett tyngdtäcke.

Den senaste forskningen kring tyngdtäcken och deras påverkan på sömnen har fokuserat på olika aspekter, från sömnproblem till dess effekter på psykisk hälsa. En studie vid Karolinska Institutet i Stockholm undersökte hur ett tyngdtäcke med metallkedjor kunde förbättra symtomen på sömnlöshet jämfört med ett lättare täcke med plastkedjor​​. Forskningen har även visat att användning av tyngdtäcken kan öka salivkoncentrationen av melatonin med cirka 32% en timme innan sänggåendet, vilket antyder att tyngdtäcken kan främja en större utsöndring av melatonin vid sänggåendet​​​​.

I en annan studie som involverade patienter med störningar som större depressionsstörning, bipolär störning, generaliserad ångestsyndrom och uppmärksamhetsbrist-/hyperaktivitetsstörning, visade resultaten att användningen av tyngdtäcke i fyra veckor signifikant minskade svårighetsgraden av sömnlöshet, förbättrade sömnkvaliteten, ökade daglig aktivitetsnivå och minskade symtom på trötthet, depression och ångest​​​​​​.

Dessutom antyder en studie om kronisk smärta att användningen av ett tyngdtäcke kan ge större reduktioner av upplevd kronisk smärta, särskilt hos personer med hög ångest, men studien kunde inte fastställa om dessa förbättringar var medierade av förbättrad sömn eller ångestminskning​​. Å andra sidan visar en systematisk översyn att det finns begränsad forskning kring effektiviteten av tyngdtäcken för att minska ångest och sömnlöshet. Denna översyn understryker behovet av ytterligare forskning för att fastställa riktlinjer för användningen av tyngdtäcken i klinisk praxis och för att undersöka deras underliggande mekanismer​​.

En studie publicerad 2015 i Journal of Sleep Medicine and Disorders involverade 31 vuxna med kronisk sömnlöshet. Deras sömn spårades under en vecka med deras vanliga sängkläder, sedan två veckor med ett tyngdtäcke, och sedan en ytterligare vecka med deras vanliga sängkläder. Fyra av fem deltagare i studien tyckte om tyngdtäcket. De som använde tyngdtäcket sov längre och vaknade mindre under natten. De rapporterade också att det var lättare att somna med tyngdtäcket och kände sig mer utvilade nästa morgon. Teorin är att tyngdtäcken kan fungera delvis genom att ge fast och djup tryckstimulering, vilket ger en lugnande och omslutande känsla​

Forskningen pekar alltså på att tyngdtäcken kan vara effektiva för att förbättra sömnen och minska symtom på ångest och depression hos vissa individer, inklusive de med sömnproblem som gör att de vaknar och har svårt att somna om. Dock krävs mer forskning för att fullt ut förstå deras effekter och mekanismer.

Right now I just feel like I don't have a voice. It feels like the things I say do nothing, and mean nothing. I kinda just wanna stay quiet from now on. What's the point of facing basically rejection when I talk about things that aren't inherently agreed upon. I thought after leaving my family it would change, but it kinda feels like nothing changed. I know I'm depressed right now, and so my present feels like all there is, but still. I can't help but feeling like it's my fault that they don't hear what I'm saying.

My dad's currently looking at getting a new car, and he wants to get rid of the old car that he currently has. That car is pretty much my dream car, and he's getting offered below market rate for it. But he won't let me buy it from them, and he's only giving me through proxy a bullshit reason, and so it doesn't even matter what I say as it feels like he doesn't respect me enough to tell me why not.

I kind of just accepted this because this normally happens, and I can't go through life expecting people to be upfront with me. I still hate it.

I asked a friend if they wanted to join me in some other friends taking some rec classes, and they kept giving me different reasonings or excuses. I always assume that people are going to be honest and upfront with things, so when their reasons why they couldn't take it turned out to be avoided, they changed the reason. I have no issues with people saying no, but when I feel like they have to lie to me or give a fake reason why not, that makes me doubt a lot of things. Maybe it's because I'm just not doing the best mentally right now, but it really did upset me because it feels like again they aren't respecting me enough to just say no. Now I'm forced to wonder if it's some more sinister reason like they do not want to hang out with me, or things like that. I wouldn't feel this way if they had just told me no that's not a class I want to take.

“That person should have done that for me. They knew I wasn’t (Fill in the blank with your problem.).”

Ever said that?

You weren’t feeling well and your partner didn’t automatically empty the dishwasher for you.

You think it’s obvious. You expect them to know and do automatically and they don’t.

Whose problem is it? Who is at fault? What’s the issue here? Is your partner just being insensitive?

Let’s talk about it.

The expectation that people can interpret the needs of others offers us a lot of pain. I lived with that expectation for a long time, too, and it created a lot of pain in my life.

What I had to realize was that it wasn’t up to the other person to interpret my needs. It was up to me to communicate my needs. Guess what? The same is true for you.

This is hard isn’t it?

Every time you get sick you just want your partner to get up and empty the dishwasher, do the household chores, and take over those things without you having to ask. But they don’t and it’s annoying.

The question for you is simple. Why is it annoying? Why do you feel like you shouldn’t have to communicate every time?

Why are you bothered by the idea of needing to communicate your needs? Why are you bothered that you need to communicate the same need repetitively?

This comes down to expectations. We expect people to pay more attention than that. We expect people to learn the first time we request something. We expect people to figure it out. When they don’t we get grumpy. We don’t feel supported. We don’t feel loved. We don’t feel valued.

It’s the expectation that causes you pain because you interpret the unmet expectation as a lack of support, a lack of care, concern, compassion, and value. You interpret it as a lack of your own worthiness.

Those stories aren’t true. The person just simply doesn’t connect the dots and they aren’t going to. The deal is that you just have to get okay with that. You just have to allow that to be there. You can’t make them connect the dots.

The illusion in our perception is that people should do these things automatically. That illusion offers pain. That’s not to say that you couldn’t find somebody that would do it, but therein lies the choice.

If you want somebody that can intuitively see a need and respond to it without requiring communication, then you have a choice of what to do with your existing relationship. You either accept your current partner as they are or you leave and find what you’re looking for.

Now you have some additional awareness of what you want versus what you currently have. How much of a problem is that for you? Are you willing to leave your relationship in order to create that for yourself?

By the way, this isn’t a need. This is in the “nice to have” category. Why? Because the need to not communicate comes from a place of powerlessness. It comes from a lack of willingness to manage your own experience via communication. There is pain in that idea.

For you to manage yourself within your experience, you have to be willing to communicate, even repetitively, your needs and wants with other people. If you’re not willing to do that yet, then you’re not fully managing your own experience.

But what if they say no?

That’s in their prerogative to do, isn’t it? They are allowed to say no. That is their choice. But again, that offers you a choice because you have to decide what to do with that relationship. If you just take on the pain and become wounded, you won’t get anyway. You’re just going to end up stuck in the pain.

But, if you can become aware of the choice that’s being offered to you, then you can do something about it. You can accept that the other person isn’t able to meet those needs or wants and be okay with that or you can leave that relationship. Either way, you don’t have to stay stuck in the pain.

Any story that says that it shouldn’t be that way just makes you argue with it. It makes you defend the problem. It doesn’t offer you a way out of the pain. What should be happening isn’t what’s happening. That puts your power outside of you. It takes your power away from you. Your power is in your ability to make a new choice. Your power isn’t in your ability to decide how things should be instead.

Your perception is offering you powerlessness and you’re taking that on. That’s got nothing to do with the other person. That’s all you. It’s your job to decide to shift your perspective and do something different. It’s not on the other person to change their behavior so it matches the perspective you want to have. It’s your job to learn to see things as they are without all the pain clouding your perception.

I’ll say it again – it’s not easy to do. Questioning this stuff is challenging, especially when you first start out. But you can challenge it and that’s the key. Challenging it is what offered me freedom from the pain that I was experiencing. It can do the same for you when you’re ready.

Love to all.

Della

I'm selling off the following OSR products I backed on Kickstarter and never opened, and let alone played. Everything is in mint condition. Shipping from EU, bank transfer preferred, otherwise PayPal. Scroll to the end for photos.

Ultraviolet Grasslands and the Black City €60

• Kickstarter edition: UVG hardcover, UVG bookmark, pink & black dice, UVG gatefold GM screen, UVG vertical fold out map.
• DTRPG page and Kickstarter page.

Jacob Fleming lot €50

• Three great adventures, perfect for kicking off OSR campaign. All are Kickstarter editions with supplements (cards & maps).
• In the Shadow of Tower Silveraxe (DTRPG, review)
• Through the Valley of the Manticore (DTRPG, review)
• The Scourge of Northland (DTRPG)

Mork Borg lot €40

• For grimdark one-shots.
• Mork Borg Kickstarter bundle with hardcover rulebook, poster map, character sheets, and trifold adventure. DTRPG page.
• Mork Borg Feretory Kickstarter edition, still shrink-wrapped. DTRPG page.

Knock! Issue #3 €30

• Kickstarter edition.
• OSR magazine.
• DTRPG page and Kickstarter page.

Seekers Beyond the Shroud €80

• Solo RPG.
• Out of print.
• Limited Hardcover (196/210).
• DTRPG page and Kickstarter page.

Disciples of Bone and Shadow €20

• Solo RPG.
• Out of print.

#Sale #OSR

Micah 4:1-5

Advent, Day 2

They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.

As we fully enter into the Advent season, I am looking forward to reading and meditating on the prophets. Each year most of the readings come from them during this season.

Advent is a time of preparation and fasting and waiting and hoping.

As I read Micah 4:1-5 today there was all kinds of good stuff in just a brief passage. But, the second half of verse three resonated deeply with me.

I don't know about you, but my heart is breaking because of the war and violence that seems to be everywhere. Israel and Hamas, Russia and Ukraine, the genocide of the Uighurs in China, the ongoing violence in Haiti, the never-ending wars on the continent of Africa, not to mention the violence that leads news broadcasts locally every day.

Of war and violence there seems to be no end.

All would seem hopeless if I didn't have the hopeful promise of a day coming when, “They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks.”

What is fascinating to me is the beginning of verse three, “He will judge between many peoples and will settle disputes for strong nations far and wide.” This is not a pie in the sky kind of hope. This is a rugged and real hope. The days of peace will not be without disputes. It's just that the day I long for will have the disputes settled without violence because the Lord will settle them.

Oh how I long for this day!

I’ve recently decided to give away all of my writing that’s not currently under contract to a publisher. Novels, short stories, whatever. If I write it, I’m making it available for free. I’ve thought about this a lot, and I’d like to share my personal and political rationale for this.

Personal:

I love to write. I also need to write. I fully believe that engaging in creativity is essential to having a fulfilling life. And writing is what I’m good at. Well, that and cooking.

And I hate marketing. I’m a bad salesperson and have never felt fully comfortable asking people for money.

And, of course, the publishing industry is done with me. I had my shot and got a lot of books published in the years 2002-2012, so I can’t really complain. Part of this is age discrimination, part is my underwhelming sales record, and part may well be a sincere belief that my work isn’t marketable anymore. This is entirely possible! My sensibility is not what you’d call mainstream, and for whatever reason the work I was doing ten to twenty years ago was able to appeal to people in publishing in a way my current work can’t.

Whatever the case, trying to get my work noticed by publishing professionals saps the fun out of what is otherwise a very fun process for me. I know my work is good, but wow is it discouraging to query 16 agents and get 4 rejections and 12 ghostings. And even getting an agent might not be a win—I’ve had agents for most of the last 10 years who couldn’t sell a thing I wrote.

So—the publishing industry is done with me, and I’m also done with it. And I’m actually fine with that. After 7 years in the part-time wilderness, I got a full-time job last year, and my salary is modest, but I’m able to (mostly) pay my bills, so I’m no longer hoping that one big (publishing) score will magically pull me out of penury. Now I get to just have fun!

My friend Emily had a similar publishing drought and recently got her historical novel The Lioness of Boston published. (It’s good! You should read it!) And she’s spent the better part of a year hustling. Visiting bookstores and bookgroups and networking and going to conferences and doing all the things an author needs to do to move copies.

She’s very good at this stuff. I’m not. (Like when a publisher arranged a networking dinner for a bunch of writers and librarians at the ALA conference years back and I said how much I hated a book that was popular at the time, and the librarian at the table said, “I gave that book a starred review in Booklist.” OOPS!). And even if I had time to do all those things, I don’t want to. I have no desire to hustle.

Also, when I was regularly getting published, I found myself constantly defining success upwards. Which brings me to the

Political,

though of course the personal is political and vice-versa. When you measure the success of your art by how much money you make from it, the problem is that you can almost always define success as what’s happening to someone other than yourself. Here’s an example: for about two years, I made a sustainable living from my writing. And rather than being like, “Ha! I’ve made it!” I was constantly comparing myself to other people. So instead of happiness, I got envy. Where’s my bestseller? Where’s my movie deal? My book is as good as or better than books by clowns who are having more monetary success than me!

I have heard that there are people who can avoid this trap. I was not one of them.

Defining success in monetary terms sucks, but also it’s a way that we reinforce the structures of capitalism in our minds. Even if, intellectually, you recognize that capitalism has poisoned the earth and our minds and made life measurably worse for everyone in the last few decades, you buy into it the second you define success in terms of money.

Ultimately, for me, success in writing means that someone besides me reads it and hopefully likes it. Money devalues this. This started with my first book, It Takes a Worried Man. It was a commercial disappointment, selling “only” 5000 copies in hardcover. Thousands of people read my book, and I walked around feeling like a failure, and like those people who engaged with my work didn’t matter because there weren’t enough of them.

That’s what capitalism does. It devalues people. It devalues the part of art that’s essential, which is the human connection it fosters. Now, no disrespect to anyone selling their art as I did for many years—it’s just that I’m in a place in my life where I don’t want to and don’t have to. So I’m not going to.

Have fun. Give stuff away! Connect with people! Go grab some free books!

First, we need to over clock the word computer.

Over clock? Amp it up. Turn it to eleven. Overload.

Everything is a computer. Laptops are computers. Desktops are computers. Notebooks are computers. Phones, even flips, are computers. Watches are computers. Cars are computers. Video game consoles. Video game cartridges. Lore-based computers inside the video game cartridge. People are computers. Everything is a computer, yes, even me and you.

Hi. I am Ty, a transmedia storyteller, formerly an engineer at Netflix, and now I am building and am a creating a game for boosting computer literacy and a book that explains all the mysteries.

What's a transmedia storyteller?

Stories have always grown alongside available technology at the time. Before written language, all story was spoken. With the advent of the printing press, a rush of knowledge spread from pages flying around the world faster than ever.

Classic childrens fairy tales became animated with musical scores and silver screens. Eventually, drawing boards became graphics cards and paper became Silicon Valley.

But books never went away. Paper remained, despite increasingly more advanced technology. Why?

A book can be left on a shelf for centuries, picked up and continued. The pictures are drawn in by the mind of the reader.

Aphantasia is a phenomenon that leaves the person experiencing it incapable of picturing things in their mind. Put another way, a picture is worth 1,000 words, for a person with aphantasia, they'll want to see a picture and not just read 1,000 words.

Cognitive understanding is different from perceptual understanding.

Show a person with aphantasia a picture of the 1,000 words they just read and they'll say, “Oh, I see what you mean now” from their eyes and not their mind's eye.

Snow White began as a book, became a film, then a global phenomenon and eventually even became cloned from Reality Animated into Reality Reality in the performers that bring their digital Snow White twin to life.

Transmedia storytelling is bringing characters like Snow White from your imagination to the page, the stage, and the screen— whether that screen is in a theater or on your computer— whether that computer is a laptop, desktop, notebook, phone, watch, car, or even a video game.

The key to transmedia storytelling is that the medium is the message. Blog posts will be more in depth, some might even say, “dry.” Radio ads will be 30 seconds. Billboards have a tagline or two. Watches have four buttons. Episodes will have a few characters. Films will have every character and a complete arc for each. Books will be the absolute tell all that'll make everything make sense.

The game will have your character with the tools you need to tell your transmedia story. Immersive interactive experiences— transmedia stories.

Pre-orders coming soon.

Video Game Main Quest (all platforms): $30 Video Game Strategy Guide (book+all platforms): $30

The end of the year holidays always means one thing: traveling to see family.

Lorena and I recently returned from visiting Connecticut for a couple of weeks to spend Thanksgiving with her sister, parents, and cousins who flew in from Chicago. As always, it was great to see everyone and of course to spend time with our nephew and godchild.

We get a short break in California before hitting the road again to Cincinnati to see my grandfather (who, at 88 years old, isn’t doing so well after his recent hip surgery). We then drive up to Michigan to spend time with my parents for Christmas.

Afterward, we then close out the year by hosting Lorena’s parents and sisters at our place in California for the New Year.

Something that is a bit challenging is that our family is located across two countries and various states. California, Illinois, Michigan, Connecticut, and Mexico. There are times when I wish we all lived closer. It would certainly make the holiday planning easier and less stressful for all involved.

#personal

Wow, November went fast. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Thanksgiving cut into writing time and overall productivity this month — but seeing family was worth it.

Book 2

I am chipping away. I'm reading through it again after adding some draft material. On this read through I am tweaking prose (always tweaking prose), but also reorganizing and borrowing a scheme from Steinbeck's East of Eden. Essentially I am adding a subheading, and having a new chapter every time I switch locations. This will hopefully add some clarity for the reader, and break it up into nice chunks that can be read in short sessions. I will undoubtedly run into difficulties with this, but hopefully it will be worth it, and at the end of the read through I'll be looking at adding more draft material and trying to draft new material through to the end of the story.

Dawn Must Follow Night Audiobook

This fell by the wayside as I tend to prioritize writing book 2 when I don't have time for anything else, but I did re-record a section of bad audio that was blocking my editing. So now I should be able to pick up the editing and start getting chapters exported. Those will go up on Patreon when I get them done. Then I will schedule PeerTube videos, and lastly weekly YouTube videos. The best way to get and listen to the audiobook is definitely Patreon, since the YouTube process is slow, not to mention the organization of everything. All Patreon subscribers get access to a podcast feed, and you get to listen to new chapters as soon as they go up.

I should mention that I will be working on a map to use as the background of the audiobook videos (as well as Book 1 2nd edition and Book 2), and I will probably upload it to Patreon when it's done.

Music

Was able to jam with the guys and it was a lot of fun. I have been thinking about recording an album for Bandcamp and trying to perform out at a couple places for a long time — but the key phrase there is “thinking about it”. I don't know when I'll have the time to make it a reality, but I'll keep trying.

Podcast

Eric and I haven't forgotten about it. We just have a family and kids. Might not get anything recorded until after the holiday season.

Marketing

Ugh. I'm trying to get more comfortable with marketing and self-promotion. It is difficult, but I am tired of making virtually nothing from my work. I do feel the quality I put out is at least as good as some bigger channels/authors/musicians. I don't really have much ambition beyond having a few supporters and readers, and maybe enough income to allow me to do more writing once the kids are in school, and it's time to get back into the workforce. Right now I'm just trying to start with a newsletter through this blog.

My approach to marketing can be summed up by a couple Needtobreath songs:

“All of this work and I ain't seein' any wages. I ain't gonna stop until I do” — Tyrant Kings

“Don't wanna know where the money is, it's just another tragedy trying to take its toll again, Don't wanna know where the money is.” — Where The Money Is

It is probably not the most lucrative approach, but I don't want marketing to take me over. I am not too proud to think that I can't be influenced by that world. In a way, I am kind of glad I didn't find much success with the first book. I wonder what it would have done to my ego. I am at a place now where I can say with some confidence that I don't think I would change my process even if I became a bestseller. I have always valued the art more than what the art earns, and I don't really want to compromise my creative freedom just to sell some copies. And if I were successful, and I could write full time, I might not have as much to draw from because I would not be living a real life. I would forget what it is like to struggle at a job, to take care of kids, to budget tightly.

I often think about this quote from Francis McDormand: “You have to get away from the theater or from the set and live life. If you work constantly from job to job, you're living in a fantasy world and you have nothing else to offer than fantasy.”

I am speaking from a place of privilege since I don't depend on my writing income (thank God), but with AI threatening writing jobs, isn't it time we stop valuing art for what it earns? I think most people would tell you they don't like things just because they are popular, yet it seems the only way to communicate that something is “good” or successful is if it has sold a lot of copies. What about artistic success? What about the vision? What about the message? How many of us can truly look at a piece of art or read a book and say with confidence that it is “good” unless we also know that a lot of other people say it is “good?”

I wonder if we should start labeling art the same way we label our food. It would introduce similar difficulties with food in that the labels can be misleading. But maybe we could say art that is made by a single person or a few people whose primary motive is art for art's sake is #organic.

I don't have any answers, and I'm not really in a place where I can find them. Regardless, I'll keep writing. I hope you do too.

What I've been reading

This month I read a collection of Wordsworth's verse, selected by R.S. Thomas (a random library pull) that I really enjoyed. I took my time with it since it's old poetry, but man was it worth it. Some of it definitely flies into the stratosphere, but when it lands (and it often does), it sticks:

“Sweet is the lore that Nature brings; Our meddling intellect Mis-shapes the beauteous forms of things: — We murder to dissect.”

— From The Tables Turned

The power of Nature to teach and feed our soul is one theme I noticed, as well as the power of childhood memory and the way it shapes and informs the rest of our lives. It saddens me that the long form poem is going out of style, and even when long poems are written they are barely read. It is a rich experience that can be compared to listening to a concept album, but more rich lyrically, and more free to branch out and paint with impressions and visions.

Some of my favorites were the Ode to Duty, Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood, and To Sleep among many others. I felt like underlining and/or sharing on every other page.

I also read a random Terry Prachet book about Poo that was fun, and Alan Noble's You Are Not Your Own. I really loved You Are Not Your Own, and while I think Noble sometimes overstates in his effort to challenge culture and its way of thinking, his thesis is very solid. He asserts that we live in a world that tells us that we are our own and responsible for our every action. This is a great freedom and also a crushing weight, since life often runs contrary to what we envision for ourselves. The result is that we turn to coping mechanisms such as social media, TV, online games, porn, drugs, and more. But those coping mechanisms let us down. Ultimately, our only comfort is belonging to Christ. Maybe that thesis turns you off, but he tempers it and balances it with a lot of examples and a balanced presentation that I would recommend for anyone whether they are a believer or not.

#update #reading #writing #organic #december2023

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To echo a sentiment from Thomas Hardy, I greatly regret that I will never be able to meet you in person and shake your hand, but perhaps we can virtually shake hands via my newsletter, social media, or a cup of coffee sent over the wire. They are poor substitutes, but they can be a real grace in this intractable world.

---

Send me a kind word or a cup of coffee:

Patreon | Ko-Fi | Podcast | Mastodon | Twitter | Github

Van Voorbijgaande Aards Boer en Boos associatie lied

Deluxe 1 hour anniversary orchestral 12'' remix edition inc. liner notes

Alle boeren zijn boos alle boeren zijn boos zelfs de lieve boeren zijn vaak heel erg boos soms zijn ze even rustig maar dan komt er iemand aan en moeten ze weer met de vuist op tafel slaan

la la la la (Mannenkoor Hoge Noot en Smægmååns Symfonie Orkest)

Alle boeren zijn boos vreselijk boos alle boeren zijn boos soms worden ze even gekalmeerd maar dan horen ze iets kletteren en dat valt altijd verkeerd alle boeren zijn iedere dag boos Alle boeren zijn boos in elk agrarisch kerstpakketje stoppen ze razernij in een doos zelfs Yvon is boos haar geitjes zijn boos de bokken bokkig de koeien chagrijnig de sla laat ik dat maar niet hard op zeggen om u kinderen te beschermen de kippen willen niet eens leggen

la la la la la la la la (Mannenkoor Hoge Noot en Smægmååns Symfonie Orkest)

Alle boeren zijn boos dat duurt al een hele poos ze willen wel lief en aardig zijn maar ze vinden het hier niet fijn dat is nou eenmaal zo dat krijg je zomaar cadeau daarvan zou iedereen boos worden maar de boeren nog het meest maar als de boeren niet meer boos zijn dan wordt het leven één groot feest

Alle boeren zijn boos boos op iedereen zelfs op boze boeren en boos op het gras op de lucht en op de waterplas boos op de natuur op het om zich heen grijpend vuur boos op de ploeg op de trekker en in de kroeg boos aan de kant boos in de kerk boos op het land boos aan het werk

la la la la la la la la la la la la (Mannenkoor Hoge Noot en Smægmååns Symfonie Orkest)

Alle boeren zijn overal boos dat duurt nu al een hele poos straks weten ze niet eens meer waarom zeggen ze gewoon 'daarom' zo moeten we onze dagen door boos zijn is zoals het hoort zo heeft de lieve heer ons geschapen dat en de trekker is ons verdedigingswapen wat moeten we anders zijn dan het is omdat het niet anders kan

la la la la (Mannenkoor Hoge Noot en Smægmååns Symfonie Orkest)

Alle boeren zijn boos ontzettend boos abnormaal boos zouden ze niet boos zijn dan lijden ze fysieke pijn moeten ze afkicken van de woede wees dan maar op je hoede want afkicken is geen liefhebberij zelfs niet op een kinderboerderij dat is bepaald geen kattenpis zonder boosheid boeren dat is een gemis toch komt er hulp bij de nare consternatie een medische liefdadigheid vaccinatie ... Alle boeren zijn blij vreugdevol op de boerderij rijden weer lekker rond op de trekker ploegen soepel voort makkelijk in het karrenspoor te hooi en te gras komt die vrolijkheid van pas alle boeren zijn blij het hele land een kinderboerderij

la la la la la la la la la la la la (Mannenkoor Hoge Noot en Smægmååns Symfonie Orkest) la la laat me met rust

dying liner notes

Again and again I have this feeling on Mondays...

That I'm not good enough for this work that I'm trying to do, that I don't enjoy this work enough to be good enough at it. And after some hours, listening to some music in order to tune out the voices of my colleagues, I eventually get into the flow of doing things, of writing something, of measuring something, coming up with new ideas, analyzing things... After all the day passes quickly and it's getting dark again and I can see the point in time approach when it's time to get home.

Un respiro, mar encandilado. Suspiros incontrolables dentro de un corazón latente. El corazón representa la porción despreciada de la humanidad, arrojada como si careciera de valor, sin significado para una mente tan simple, con pensamientos tan radicalmente escasos en mentes tan vacías. Personas con ideas carentes de sustancia, como aquellos que no aprecian el arte o el amor sin propósito. Carece de conversaciones que generen chispas, con una reciprocidad sin dudas. Una conversación tan profunda que el mar siente celos de una mente tan embravecida y salvaje, que no se rige por sistemas ni mundos paralelos.

Existe un corazón, a veces contaminado por las sucias pestilencias de bocas que no supieron reconocer la fuente de sus propios problemas. No hay mundo que la contemple, no hay existencias que la contengan. Es tan salvaje que, por su color, podemos observar el asesinato de una criminal en serie con ideas tan decididas. Nadie podría hacerla cambiar, a menos que alguien toque su capa y la haga sonreír.

Todos tenemos un sol, un ecosistema completo ante un universo pequeño que sigue reduciéndose a medida que avanzan las manecillas del reloj. Un reloj que la odia pero que pronto se enamorará de ella. Porque solo ella sabe cómo avanzar, y el tiempo la teme. Quien sigue caminando, teme su velocidad, así como sus latidos aumentan con cada soplo del viento.

Es una estrella decidida a cambiarlo todo.

(Sandra Carmona Romero)