Detroit vs Cincinnati

This Friday's MLB game of choice has the Detroit Tigers playing the Cincinnati Reds. Scheduled start time is 5:40 PM CDT so, hopefully, I'll be able to hold onto a good level of alertness through the full nini innings. Finishing the night prayers and getting ready for bed will come after the game.

And the adventure continues.

Where is my God in this moment of abandonment?

And here I am, having to find a way to say goodbye.

For what else is there but to live in the desert of my existence, apart from you— the only real oasis I have ever known.

So go— send me to my banishment, like Moses in his wandering years.

Only my return will not herald deliverance, nor lead anyone home— only mark the end of a long, lonely life,

that grows lonelier still.

---

I cannot wait to see you again... to feel you again.

To hear the air vibrate from you again.

The worst part of cooking is doing that while watching your children. Once again, the evils of multitasking rears its ugly head. While moving a cutting board filled with cooked chicken breasts I knocked my cold brew maker off the counter.

My five cup cold brew maker, the one my wife bought for me, broke into big and smaller pieces. I cursed at myself for being this careless. Luckily, me and my kids didn’t get hurt. I managed to pick up the pieces and vacuum the floor.

During cleaning, my wife bought another cold brew maker for me from Amazon. Which is nice, I love her. I still have two newer and larger cold brew makers, but I still mourn for my old one. I’ve drank from that maker and brought it to fellowships for years.

Well, thank you for your service, five cup cold brew maker. I’ll see if this new one, that’s coming, can fill in your shoes.

#coffee #coldbrew #accident

朝、ベルトを締めたら、穴が一つ狭くなっていた。 腰が少し細くなったらしい。 いい細くなり方だったらいいなと思う。

このまま、まつ毛がいい感じに伸びて、身長も180cmくらいになってくれたらいいのに。 そうしたら、もっとモード系の服が似合うはずだ。

腰が細くなったな、と思っていたら、妻が「今日の卵は爆発した」と言う。 そのせいで弁当はなくなり、昼は外食することになった。

ステーキを200g食べた。 家ではだいたい150gくらいしか食べないので、やっぱり多いなと思いながら、結局は食べきった。

いつもと違う昼だったせいか、コンビニでお菓子が欲しくなる。 「忍者めし 鉄の鎧」というのを初めて買った。 グミに少し硬い飴のコーティングがされていて、これ完全にポイフルじゃないか、と思いながら食べた。

グミはたまに食べたくなるけど、買ったあとで「一つも体に入れない方がいいな」と思うことが少なくない。 体にいい要素がほとんどないからだ。

最近は、舌以外でも食事を楽しめている気がする。 それでも、たまに子どもの感性がよみがえって、お菓子を買ってしまう。 それに、グミを食べているところは、あまり人に見られたくない。

グミを食べているところを見られたら、昇給するものもしなくなる気がする。 いや、そんなことはないか。たぶん普通においしい。

仕事の帰りに、大学時代からの友人がやっているバーのイベントに行く。 ああいう場所でしか、当時の友人にはなかなか会えない。

いい加減、人に会いたいときくらい自分で企画すればいいのに、と思う。 でも、ありがたいことに誘ってくれる人がたまにいるので、つい甘えてしまう。

後輩っぽい振る舞いも似合わなくなってきたし、そろそろどうにかしないと。

週末はタコスのイベントがあるらしい。 それに行ったあと、喫茶店に寄る。

結局、自分にとっては、最後に喫茶店に行くところまでが生活の句点であり、癒しなのだ。

It’s a really weird thing to try to be open about depression when I’m used to childhood or high school where I would just constantly sad post on my private Instagram to friends or with my discord status. And I think that’s not necessarily the greatest way to do it, but at the same time I think that it is important that I learn how to express that I am depressed, if nothing else just so I don’t feel like I have to keep up some kind of mask. I feel like there’s such a big dissonance whenever I hear from people that I am a happy person, and I think part of that is because I really do suffer in silence I’m used to depression being something of shame that I’m supposed to hide and a burden. And I think that they’re very much is such thing as being too open or causing pressure from other people from constantly talking about it with the implication that they need to help you. I posted to close friends today about how I thought about killing myself driving home then had to catch myself thinking that and stop myself, and how I’ve been having to do that for the last two weeks and how it’s super tiring.

Not had much time for the formbook over the last few days, but I’m at least bookending the working week with a couple of selections and you never know, one might be my first winner of the flat season …

1.40 Doncaster This looks to be the sort of race where CANARIA QUEEN does her best work. On good or better, in class 6s over 5f in the last 2 years she is 3541172 which is some of the best form on offer here, albeit it’s a super competitive event. Tim Easterby has been in great nick the last couple of days and at double figure odds, this 6yo could go well and will surely benefit from the pipe opener LTO.

CANARIA QUEEN // 0.5pt E/W @ 14/1 5 places (Bet365) BOG

2.15 Doncaster Another low grade affair and I should maybe have left it alone, but after going through it, I think YAFAARR is worth a bet. He may well have needed his run LTO (all form from breaks of 30 days or less) and that was only his second flat handicap – before that he’s finished a very close 3rd at Redcar. First time tongue tie goes on today and if that has an effect, then this 4yo looks to be open to improvement for Sam England who two places at Beverley yesterday so might just be coming into some form.

YAFAARR // 0.5pt E/W @ 18/1 5 places (Bet365) BOG