In Summary: * A steady driving rain almost all day prevented us from hauling more stuff out to the trailer. Maybe tomorrow the weather will be more cooperative and let us get more moving done. We've got so much stuff boxed that we need to get over to the trailer, so we can bring the empty boxes back to the house and load them up with more stuff.

Prayers, etc.: * I have a daily prayer regimen I try to follow throughout the day from early morning, as soon as I roll out of bed, until head hits pillow at night.

Health Metrics: * bw= 219.14 lbs. * bp= 147/86 (65)

Exercise: * morning stretches, balance exercises, kegel pelvic floor exercises, half squats, calf raises, toe raises, wall push-ups, BP breathing exercises, pilates

Diet: * 04:00 – 1 banana * 05:30 – pizza * 12:00 – Mongolian beef lunch plate, steamed rice, egg drop soup. * 14:00 – dish of ice cream

Activities, Chores, etc.: * 03:00 – listen to local news talk radio * 04:00 – bank accounts activity monitored . * 06:00 – read, write, pray, follow news reports from various sources, surf the socials, listen to music * 11:30 – met with mover * 12:00 – lunch with the wife * 13:00 – go to bank * 13:30 – back home in the steady, driving rain. * 15:00 – listen to the Jack Riccardi Show * 17:00 – just back from the jeweler's with new watch bands on my two wrist watches, the favorite and the backup.

Chess: * 14:50 – moved in all pending CC games, winning one.

Chapter 1: When You Notice You Have Been Somewhere Else

Sometimes the realization comes in a very ordinary moment. You are standing at the kitchen counter, looking at a cup you poured twenty minutes ago and never touched. Your phone is nearby. There are messages waiting, something unfinished in another room, and one more thing you promised yourself you would handle before the day ends. Nothing is falling apart, but you feel as though you have been everywhere except where you actually are. That is the heart of this Christian video about slowing down and remembering what matters when life gets busy, because sometimes the greatest loss in a crowded season is not time. It is presence.

I know how easy it is to tell yourself that you will be more present later. After this week. After this project. After the next appointment. After the pressure eases. You keep moving because the things in front of you are real, and many of them genuinely matter. Yet eventually you may notice that this related Christian reflection on keeping faith and life in their proper place is not really about escaping responsibility. It is about recognizing when responsibility has begun occupying places in your heart that belong to something deeper.

There are quiet things in life that rarely fight for your attention. God does not force you to stop scrolling and pray. The person who loves you may not interrupt when they see you are overwhelmed. A tired body may keep going long after it should have rested. Even your own thoughts can wait patiently while you spend another day answering everyone else. That patience can fool us into believing those things will always be there whenever we finally make room for them.

Maybe that is what makes busyness so deceptive. It does not usually arrive as something obviously harmful. It often comes dressed as responsibility. You are helping someone, finishing something important, keeping a promise, or trying to build a better future. All of that can be good. But good things can still crowd out better things when we stop paying attention.

Jesus lived among people who constantly needed Him, yet the Gospels show Him stepping away to pray. I find comfort in that because it means stepping back is not the same as abandoning what matters. Sometimes stepping back is how we remember what matters.

You may not need a dramatic change. Maybe tonight you need ten quiet minutes without your phone. Maybe tomorrow morning you need to pray before checking messages. Maybe you need to sit beside someone you love and actually hear the whole story instead of listening while thinking about the next thing.

Those moments can feel small compared with everything demanding your attention.

But your life is made of small moments.

And some of the most important ones are still waiting quietly for you to notice them.

Chapter 2: The Cost of Always Being Available

There is a particular kind of weariness that shows up when your phone lights up again and you already know you are going to answer it. Maybe you are sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to wind down, when another message arrives. Someone needs advice. Someone has a question. Someone wants a decision. You care, so you respond. Then another message comes in, and before long the few quiet minutes you had left belong to everyone except you.

Being needed can feel meaningful. It can also become a habit we are afraid to break.

Some of us have spent years becoming the dependable person. We are the one who answers. We are the one who helps. We are the one people trust when something goes wrong. There is something good in that. Serving others is part of a faithful life. But being useful to people is not the same thing as being available every minute.

Even Jesus stepped away from people who wanted something from Him.

That matters to me because it removes some of the guilt from saying, “Not right now.”

Maybe your example is a family member who calls while you are already carrying more than you can handle. You love them, but the conversation can wait until tomorrow. Maybe it is a work message after dinner that feels urgent only because someone sent it late. Maybe it is the habit of checking your phone every few minutes because silence makes you wonder whether somebody needs you.

You are allowed to create space where nobody has immediate access to you.

That does not make you uncaring. It may actually help you become more loving because you stop giving people the most depleted version of yourself.

There is another reason this matters spiritually. Constant noise can keep us from noticing what is happening inside. When every quiet moment gets filled, we never have to face the tiredness, sadness, gratitude, fear, or questions that have been waiting underneath everything else.

God often meets us there.

Not always in the dramatic moment. Sometimes in the silence after the phone is set down. Sometimes in the few minutes before sleep when we finally admit, “Lord, I am tired.” Sometimes in a morning when we stop trying to sound spiritual and simply tell Him the truth.

You do not need to earn those moments by completing everything first.

There will always be another person who wants something. There will always be another task that can be done.

But there are parts of your heart that cannot stay postponed forever.

Give them a little room.

God may already be waiting there.

Chapter 3: What You May Be Missing While You Hurry

You might notice it while standing outside for a moment longer than usual. Maybe the air is cooler than you expected. Maybe the sky has changed color while you were inside working. For once, nobody is talking to you, and nothing in your hand needs an answer. You realize how long it has been since you simply noticed where you were.

That kind of moment can feel almost unfamiliar when life has been moving fast.

We can become so focused on what comes next that we stop receiving what is already here. We rush through breakfast because of the meeting. We rush through the meeting because of the next responsibility. We rush through dinner because there is still something to finish. Then we wonder why the days seem to disappear.

Maybe they disappear because we keep trying to get through them.

Faith invites us to live differently. Psalm 118:24 says, “This is the day the Lord has made.” That verse is easy to quote, but harder to live when the day is crowded. It asks us to see today as more than something to survive on the way to tomorrow.

That matters especially during seasons when life feels demanding. You may be caring for someone who needs you. You may be working harder than usual. You may be dealing with financial pressure, family strain, or responsibilities that cannot simply be ignored. None of that makes presence easy.

But presence does not require pretending the pressure is gone.

It can be as simple as noticing one good thing before the day ends. Maybe someone checked on you. Maybe you laughed when you did not expect to. Maybe you got through something that felt difficult this morning. Maybe you had food on the table, a safe place to sleep, or a few quiet minutes when you could breathe and remember that God was still with you.

Gratitude is not denial. It is attention.

It is deciding that pressure will not be the only thing you notice.

There is something deeply freeing about that. You do not need to wait until your life is less complicated before you start living it. You do not need an empty calendar before you can have peace. You do not need everything fixed before you can thank God.

You can meet Him here.

Right in the middle of the unfinished day.

And maybe that is where we begin to recover the parts of life that have been waiting quietly all along.

Your friend, Douglas Vandergraph

Explore the complete Douglas Vandergraph Master Index: https://douglasvandergraph.com/douglas-vandergraph-master-index/

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s faith-based videos on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@douglasvandergraph

In pigmented fray, drops scatter— aloof only in frailty's disbursement of self. Brushed. Stroked. Drowned within a shot glass of reason, fear squats amongst the broken walls barricading discipline's endorsement. Line after line after line after line after the unstable guidance of displaced residue reeks havoc beneath painted squalor. Our uncrafted magnitude blisters obscene — forever impeding smoothed portraits... debased.

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___

It's raining! It's raining! EeeeEeeeeEeeee!!!

Henry Patton pushed his light brown hair out of his eyes as he admired what he had set up. They were on a support road near the fields, a stretch that was almost never used, and everything was just the way he had wanted it since the Terran had come up with the idea.

There was so much to take into consideration. The fact that he had to bring Siv in to it (because Henry was very aware of the need for decorum since humiliation was so bad for Xalteans) for setting up and importing what he needed. Nish Kevet, his Estate Legion Arch Maid, was brought in because she knew how to keep her mouth shut and knew how to route the field crews so the rest of the estate personnel wouldn't stumble onto the road. Both were sworn to secrecy on pain of everything he could do to them. Now, it was just time to wait.

When the woman he was waiting for came around the bend, he had to stop for a moment to admire her. Mistress Maevin Maer was beautiful, and only a fool would not notice that. Her soft but striking features, long black hair, and blue eyes that seemed to rip your very soul apart. Henry had seen many a maid cower in front of her wrath. This time though, they were filled with suspicion, darting around as if she were walking into a trap. It probably didn't help that she was wearing a fitted athletic top and a pair of sports shorts, the fabric a fraction of what she was used to, and she kept tugging at the hem.

“Maevin!” Henry said grinning and walking over to her. Her eyes locked on his though the suspicion lessened seeing him. “Promise. It's not an ambush.”

“Not that I would think you would do that, my master, but you cannot blame me. Siv insisted I wear this because you requested it, and then she refused to tell me why.”

Henry had bought the outfit himself, and Siv had been under strict orders to see that Maevin wore it. Siv herself walked two steps behind, her two-toned strawberry and straw hair catching the sunlight. She gave Henry a very pleasant and conspiratorial smile. The Mistress must have caught on as her head snapped around glaring at the other maid who dropped her head but not her smile.

“What are you plotting?” Maevin growled.

“Siv, if you and Nish could please start what I asked.”

The young woman bowed and hurried off. Henry strode up to his Mistress excitedly and motioned towards the long, empty stretch of packed dirt road with the fields rolling out on either side. In the middle of it was a bicycle.

“What...is that?” Maevin said, her eyes narrowing.

“A bicycle! We talked about it a month ago, remember?” Henry continued gently placing his hand on her arm and leading her toward it.

“You mean the foot powered device that your people use to get around places?”

“Yes! You had mentioned it would be interesting to see, so I had Siv import one from the Earth Alliance.”

“Why?”

“Because I can show you!”

With the ease of someone who grew up using them, Henry threw his leg over the blue bike and began to ride around on it, forgetting how much he loved it as a child. He didn't stay on the road though, going out onto the grass along the edge of the field, pedaling up the embankment and then riding back down it with no hands. God, how much he missed this.

When he came to a stop, the look of sheer consternation on Maevin's face made him wish he had a camera. Kicked down the kickstand, he got off of it with a hop, skip, and sore muscles that weren't used to such things.

“That...is interesting,” Maevin offered. “I can see how useful it would be if powered vehicles aren't present.”

“Your turn!” Henry said grinning. “I'll teach you!”

“No.”

The way she responded was abrupt and final which made Henry only want to laugh. He didn't though. The way she used the word was not the imperious command of a Mistress but that of a child refusing to do something their parent told them to do.

“Oh, come on,” Henry said letting the grin escape. He tugged on her arm, but she refused to budge.

“It would be undignified for me to be on that...thing,” Maevin countered. “And in this.”

“Already thought of that. You told me how much embarrassment and shame is in your culture. That's why I had Siv pick this secluded road, Nish plan today's field routes around it, and put them on guard, so there isn't anyone to stumble in on us.”

Henry gestured to the tall, dense hedgerow that bordered the road, easily twelve feet high. “There is no way anyone would see you and I told Siv that both of them are going to get the cane if anyone sees you.”

Mistress Maevin stared at the metal contraption in front of her, the hesitation still on her face. “If you order me to, I shall do it.”

“But I don't want to order you,” Henry countered. “I want to show my friend. You'd make me happy if you did it.”

Maevin's face twisted for a moment before she relented. “That's worse, Master.”

The woman walked over, staring at the seat and then began to look around.

“What? Something missing?” Henry asked surprised. “I made sure no one was around.”

“I need a cushion for that narrow seat of rubber,” she responded nonplussed.

“Why? I bought the shorts so you'd be comfortable.”

“These are scraps of fabric, my master, and I am not accustomed to wearing anything beneath what I wear. So, unless you plan to massage my legs after, I need a cushion.”

“Cushion it is!”

Henry darted across to the nearest door of the field supply shed, found the smallest cushion workers would use on the bench inside, and came back. He offered it to her with a grin and she glared.

“What?”

“You're enjoying this too much.”

Yes, yes he was.

Laying the cushion down on the seat, Maevin tugged the hem of her shorts down once more, as if that would do anything, and swung her rather flawless leg over and sat down on it. She put one foot to the pedal and wobbled as she tried to lift the other. Henry walked up and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Balance is better if you start moving.”

“I gathered.”

She began to move, and it wobbled again, and before he could think, he stepped forward and held on to her waist. Maevin looked over her shoulder at him but didn't say anything. Henry was quite aware this was closer and more contact than both were used to, especially with so little fabric between his hands and her, but he wasn't going to let his friend fall.

After a few pushes on the pedal, she nodded, and he let her go, watching her ride slowly but with a grace that he hadn't actually expected. It was when she hit the grass that he saw it lurch and her begin to overcompensate. Henry ran over to her, dove, and caught her in his arms before they all tumbled to the ground in a mixture of limbs and bicycle. She was half sitting in his lap, her cheeks and ears bright red.

“That was humiliating,” she groused.

“That's why I kept everyone away,” Henry responded trying to catch his breath and not freak out that there was a woman in his lap leaning up against him also breathing hard. For a moment, they just sat there, her warmth pressed up against him and maybe a bit too long. Both seemed to realize it and began to scramble to their feet.

She brushed the dirt and grass off herself and tugged her top and shorts back into place with as much dignity as the outfit allowed.

“Well, I tried it,” she said with wounded pride.

“It takes a little practice. We can try again tomorrow or—–”

“No.”

That word had a lot more finality than it did last time. Henry laughed.

“Alright, alright. But thanks for trying.”

“You're welcome,” she said, one of those smiles he enjoyed crossing her face, but then it darkened. “If you tell anyone, master, I shall find ways to exact my revenge.”

“Are you threatening me?” Henry said his grin getting bigger.

Her only answer was a little smirk.

Okay, last night and today were a lot better. I was able to keep food down and the dizziness is to a minimum. My main issues today are feeling a lot of pressure, some pain, discomfort, and feeling really, really tired.

Thank you for your message. I am currently out of office — but not for much longer.

It has been 111 days since my last day of work and I am on day one of recovery from surgery. A procedure I kind of had to rush into due to my benefits ending in just a couple of days. It makes me a little mad to be honest, but anyway.

Today was horrible. I had the absolute worst nausea of my life, couldn’t keep anything down and even looking at my phone or the wall or cars moving outside would make me dizzy. It was awful. I have no idea how I found the strength or energy to make brownies yesterday, but I am so mad I can’t even have one.

I hope this gets better soon.

Thank you for your message. I am currently out of office — but not for much longer.

Surgery day! I woke up way earlier than I needed to but didn’t bother going back to sleep knowing I would be under anesthesia and sleepy the rest of the day anyway. I got my teeth brushed, and myself ready to head to the surgery center. I was out like a light and everything went well. Then my dad brought me home and made me some yummy chicken soup. I mostly ate the broth, but it was the greatest meal ever.

I was very loopy and out of it. Spent the rest of the day in and out of napping. Somehow I found time to make sweet potato brownies – I do not recommend doing this on the day of surgery. The nausea comes later and they are just sitting there taunting you.

Thank you for your message. I am currently out of office — but not for much longer.

It is like the second when your eyes meet, then you look away, and blush before blushes, the second the scent of skin seems to come over you because you move closer, but not close enough, like when a thousand butterflies land and come together before you get dizzy, and yes, swoon, very much like the time, walking arm in arm at night, when it occurs to you that you could actually faint, just before you faint, and the comets meet you at eye level, then rain down on you

#poetry