In Summary: * Today I made only two quick forays into the outside world: hauling the big green organics bin from the back yard, where I stuffed it full yesterday afternoon, to the general staging area in front of my garage from where I'll drag it down to the curb early tomorrow morning; and the short walk down to our mail box this afternoon. Other than that I've stayed inside under the a/c, away from the heat.

Patiently waiting now for tonight's Rangers / Nationals game. Opening pitch is about 45 minutes away.

Prayers, etc.: * I have a daily prayer regimen I try to follow throughout the day from early morning, as soon as I roll out of bed, until head hits pillow at night.

Health Metrics: * bw= 226.08 lbs. * bp= 147/85 (67)

Exercise: * morning stretches, balance exercises, kegel pelvic floor exercises, half squats, calf raises, wall push-ups, BP breathing exercises, pilates

Diet: * 05:20 – 1 banana * 06:40 – 1 peanut butter sandwich * 10:00 – steak with mushroom gravy, white bread * 12:40 – garden salad * 15:55 – 1 fresh apple

Activities, Chores, etc.: * 03:30 – listen to local news talk radio * 04:30 – bank accounts activity monitored. * 04:45 – read, write, pray, follow news reports from various sources, surf the socials, nap * 15:30 – listening to relaxing music * 17:00 – load weekly pill boxes * 18:00 – listening to general sports talk on 105.3 The Fan, DFW's #1 Sports Station, while waiting for tonight's MLB game to start.

Chess: * 13:40 – moved in all pending CC games

#fiction #books #fantasy

A common theme in fantasy worldbuilding is that once there was a Golden Age, but now the magic has vanished or is draining away. The Elves have departed. The Gods have been slain. The Mysteries have been forgotten. So prevalent is this trope that the Encyclopedia of Science Fiction and Fantasy has a specific term for it: thinning”). It describes that feeling evoked by worlds that used to be fuller or richer, brimming with magic, mystery and wonder. But by some mysterious force or process, they have become emptier, flatter, greyer. In a word: thinner.

We saw thinning at work in Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, where the plot centred on an attempt to restore a lost magic to England. But the example most fantasy readers will be familiar with is J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. The Middle Earth walked by Frodo and Sam is a world where the most titanic struggles have already been fought, the mightiest empires have risen and fallen, the gods have walked the earth and retreated. Everything in The Lord of the Rings, from Lothlórien and Gondor all the way to Sauron himself, is a shadow of a grander age. The Lord of the Rings is at least in part a novel about how to move on in a world literally set in the ruins of the past.

The world of Martha Well’s Witch King has similarly thinned, but here there is no mystery about why the world is emptier than it once was. It is thinner because invaders from across the sea landed on its shores and massacred everyone and everything. Witch King is not a story of melancholic longing for some imagined but lost Englishness, but a direct reckoning with the effects of genocide, trauma, and loss, and what happens to those left alive to move on from it.

Witch King starts with demon Kaiisteron (Kai) and witch Ziede finding themselves imprisoned, but quickly liberated by the misguided attempts by an ‘expositor’ (i.e., a sorcerer) to enthral Kai. Thus inadvertently freed, Kai and Ziede must discover who betrayed them, and to what end, and what fate has befallen their friends and allies.

This situation creates a great amount of anxiety for both Kai and Ziede, and as the story progresses, we gradually find out why. Both were there when their world first burned, when their friends were slaughtered and their ways of life destroyed. Witch King is structured like braid, with alternating chapters set in the present and the past. It is from the past chapters that we learn that when Kai was young and had only recently crossed into the human world, a people called the Hierarchs came from across the sea and exterminated almost all the societies they encountered, saving only a few to be either subjugated or enslaved. In their war, the Hierarchs have two advantages over their enemies. First, their united forces, arrayed against a fragmented patchwork of city states, tribes and principalities that comprises Kai and Ziede’s world. Second a form of blood magic powered by death and suffering. It is the latter that allows the Hierarchs to wage the magical equivalent of nuclear warfare, making their merciless advance unstoppable.

The Hierarchs’ genocidal invasion has echoes of the Roman conquests of Gaul and Carthage or the arrival of conquistadors in the Americas, and it is probably no coincidence that the Hierarchs’ soldiers are called legionaries. The level of death and destruction is a clear departure from from Wells’ previous Murderbot Diaries series, which despite being set in a dystopian future did tend to see its heroes prevail over their adversaries. Not so in Witch King, where we watch with Kai as his people are massacred, his fellow demons imprisoned, and his connection to the Underearth severed.

Witch King is not a story about heroic resistance, but of loss and how to come to terms with it. The majority of the novel is set after first the invasion and then the defeat of the Hierarchs. The chapters set in the past tell us some of the events of the invasion, but here we are constrained by Kai’s own limited knowledge of what is happening, and that strand of the story terminating before we arrive at the successful counter-offensive against the Hierarchs.

The purpose of the ‘past’ chapters is therefore not to describe heroic battles, but to explain why ‘present’ Kai, Ziede and their allies are the way they are. Our heroes suffer from trauma and survivors guilt that expresses itself in panic, mistrust, and a reflexive tendency to deploy force or violence in defence of self or loved ones. Each of the characters who lived through the war is struggling to recover who they were, restrain the negative impulses they’ve developed due to what they’ve suffered, and to integrate their experiences into a new self that can move forward. There has been a profound break in the world of Witch King, and the novel put me in mind of The Word for World is Forest by Ursula K. Le Guin, which ends on this reflection:

“Sometimes a god comes,” Selver said. “He brings a new way to do a thing, or a new thing to be done. A new kind of singing, or a new kind of death. He brings this across the bridge between the dream-time and the world-time. When he has done this, it is done. You cannot take things that exist in the world and try to drive them back into the dream, to hold them inside the dream with walls and pretenses. That is insanity. What is, is. There is no use pretending, now, that we do not know how to kill one another.”

The inhabitants of Witch King were not as innocent or pacifist as the Althesians in Le Guin’s novella, but it is nonetheless implied that before the arrival of the Hierarchs, their communities coexisted mostly peacefully. It is therefore not only our heroes, but their entire society that has to come to terms with trauma and having been fundamentally altered. To defeat the Hierarchs, the fragmented city-states and other political entities that existed before the invasion were forced to unify into the an alliance called the Rising Worlds Coalition. But just as Le Guin’s Althesians could not put murder back into the dream-world, neither can Wells’ societies unlearn domination, autocracy and imperialism.

The search of Well’s characters for a new identity not governed by their traumatic experience is thus mirrored in the search of their communities for a future beyond mass death, war and domination. In both cases it involves internal conflict and work to unlearn reflexes forged in pain and despair. One of Kai’s key motivations is to prevent the Rising Worlds Coalition, which began as an alliance of independent states formed to fight the Hierarchs, from itself turning into a for mof empire. I was reminded of Hannah Proctor’s meditations on collective grief in Burnout, and how communities can be sundered by a trauma that, while shared, is nonetheless experienced uniquely individually. What is clear, is that Wells does not believe that simply putting the King back on the throne of Gondor is going to be a solution to anything.

The absence of the actual war of the Rising Worlds Coalition against the Hierarchs does leave an odd gap in Witch King’s worldbuilding, which is compounded by Kai’s ignorance throughout much of the ‘past’ chapters. We hence only gradually and incompletely discover the world’s lore, with Wells offering little in the form of exposition. The absence of characters launching into lengthy but implausible explanations makes for refreshingly natural reading, but combined with Wells’ creative approach to existing fantasy concepts and her invention of new ones, makes the story and the finer points of the lore hard to follow. Character abilities occasionally emerge just when they are convenient to progress the plot, lending a mild feel of deus ex machina to parts of the story, though unlike in for example Mal Goes to War, this did not impair the overall plausibility for me.

Witch King is an intriguing new direction for Wells, although it shares with the Murderbot Diaries the centrality of found family, the importance of trust, and the almost casual inclusion of diverse representations of gender, ethnicity, sexuality and disability. A crucial difference however is that where Murderbot’s journey of self-discovery starts almost from a blank slate at the point they gain autonomy, Kai’s journey is instead one of recovery after a cataclysmic rupture. It is a courageous decision to write a fantasy that focuses not on the ultimate battle, but the aftermath, with its painful work of reconstruction, reconnection and healing. In a world of ecological breakdown, warfare and genocide, these themes are more valuable than yet another simplistic triumph of good over evil. At the conclusion of Witch King there is therefore clearly more to do, and I am interested to see where Wells takes this story next.

Notes & Suggestions

• Anxiety, grief, loss, anger, and trauma are emotions that will, in varying degrees, be familiar to people organising in activist spaces, from marginalised communities, or who have simply been hurt by the world. Hannah Proctor taught us that none of us can be whole in a broken world, but that collective healing is a process that can sustain us. If you are struggling, seek assistance if it is available to you, but more importantly, reach out to friends, family or comrades that you trust. Readers in England and Wales can access Mind for support. Readers in Scotland can turn to SAMH.
• Readers who enjoyed Wells’ Murderbot Diaries may also enjoy Citizen Sleeper, a relatively short videogame exploring the same themes of community, the autonomy of constructed sentiences, and corporate dystopia.
• Perhaps surprisingly, Marvel’s Loki shares Witch King’s argument that the real work only starts after we defeat our enemies, while similarly engaging with themes of grief, despair, and recovery.

The Best Brood War Unit, Part 3- Protoss

Protoss is going to be an interesting one, because my general takeaway is they have a lot of good units but not a lot of great ones. So let us dive in:

Zealot ****

Zealots are beefy mineral only units. 100 health, 60 shields, armor, and deal 16 damage per hit. So over 3 times the damage of a zergling and 4 times the hitpoints of a marine, despite only costing 100 minerals. They are melee only, which has its pros and cons. For example, one on one against a hydralisk, a zealot absolutely crushes. But if you have 40 hydralisks against 40 zealots and the zealots get bottlenecked, the ranged attack wins. Early game they can absolutely overpower opponents. It takes a marine forever to kill a zealot, same thing with a zergling. Late game they wouldn't be useful if it wasn't for the citadel of adun upgrade “Leg Enhancements” that increases their movement speed. This lets zealots close the distance quickly, which is imperative for taking out siege tanks. They pair well with other gateway units, or with corsairs which can pick of the mutalisks while the zealots deal with everything on the ground. The downside is they take up 2 supply, vs the marines' 1 and zerglings' .5, can't attack at range and can't attack up. The melee though is helpful against defilers since dark swarm doesn't negate the damage.

Dragoon ***

Dragoons are a paradox. The Protoss absolutely need them, but they are not a good unit. They attack air and ground, attack at a range, and deal explosive damage which works well against large units but poorly against smaller units. Their pathing is terrible, they are constantly getting stuck or bottle necked. Watch them go up against siege tanks alone if you want a laugh, its just an endless sea of splattered blue goo. They get equally embarassed by zerglings, which can annihilate them for a small fraction of the price. If the zerg uses dark swarm, one zergling can beat an arbitrary number of dragoons. You'd think they would do well against mutalisks but without templar support.... not really. Still, they are the main workhorse ranged attacker of the protoss army. They work, but they need to be supported. Zealots, templar, arbiters, etc. all help the dragoon to survive long enough to be useful.

High Templar *****

A spell caster that costs 50 minerals, 150 gas and has no natural attack. One of its abilities, hallucination, is almost never used in pro games. So.. why five stars? Psionic Storm. This probably competes with dark swarm for the best spell in the game. Massive area of effect damage for only 75 energy, I believe its 112 damage to each unit over a large area. Now, if units are very mobile they can dodge the storm... but they frequently don't. It's just an exceptional ability against any massed concentration of units. As such, a few well placed storms can completely turn the tide of a battle or defeat a superior force. Zerg coming in with a hydra all in? Throw down a few storms and you are good to go. Mutalisks took out your corsairs and are headed for your mineral line? Storm them. Terran death army moving in? drop some high templar behind their lines and storm them. Enemy workers? drop and storm them. When you consider an upgraded high templar can cast 3 storms before needing to restore energy, 150 gas is a small price to pay. Oh, and if you have two high templar that are out of energy, merge them into an archon and now you have a heavy hitting attack unit. Easily the best Protoss unit in the game.

Dark Templar ***

This is really a gotcha unit. They are invisible, so if the enemy isn't paying attention or isn't aware they can do incredible damage. I've seen a dark templar slip in and kill 15-20 workers while the opponent is busy focusing elsewhere. But, if the enemy does have detection, they get killed very quickly. And at 125 minerals and 100 gas, they aren't cheap. Their attack deals 40 damage, but its melee with a small attack rate if they get scanned a few mech units will kill them. Zerg have overlords, so the only way to make a dark templar viable is to take them all out with corsairs. So you can cheese with them, surprise an enemy, or try to turn the tied of a losing battle, but in a stand up battle they don't really hold their water. They can turn into Dark Archons though, so that's cool. Not really a last resort thing, you need to plan on that since the dark archons need time to build up their energy, vs the high templar which make archons that are ready to go right away.

Archon ***

Might be controversial but I'm going three stars here. They have 350 shields, 10 hitpoints and deal 35 splash damage, so they are absolutely heavy hitters. But, they cost 300 gas 100 minerals. That's a lot of vespene gas to sink into a unit. Also, since almost all of their HP is in shields, they take full damage from everything. Hydralisks and vultures kill them really fast. An EMP instantly brings them down to 10 health. On the upside, plague is essentially useless against them, dealing a maximum of 9 damage. They can be a good counter to mutalisks, but corsairs are better. If you have extra gas or templars without energy they can be good against zerg but for 300 gas they are just generally too easy to pop.

Dark Archon ****

This, along with the queen, I think is one of the most underutilized units in the game. It's a spell caster, so no natural attacks, but its spells are bonkers. Feedback only costs 50 energy and it turns a spell casters energy into damage against them. So theoretically a fully upgraded archon with max energy could kill five queens. realistically that never happens but to be able to snipe a spell caster, like a deflier, for only 50 energy? Pretty awesome, though micro intensive. Maelstrom freezes bio units in a large area for a short time. It's pretty potent when paired with psionic storm. A dark archon and high templar can melt a flock of 11 mutalisk with two spells. And then mind control turns an enemy unit to your side. Not used as often, but in the late game, taking a carrier, battlecruiser or ultralisk already has the dark archon paying for itself. You can also steal an enemy worker and double your potential supply, though this virtually never happens in professional play. The reason its 4 stars and not 5 is cost. 200 minerals and 250 gas is no joke. Still, I think these are underutilized as a force multiplier.

Reaver ****

Incredible range, 100 or 125 when upgraded splash damage, it is the Protoss answer to the siege tank. But why not five stars? Their speed is glacial, without a shuttle they are useless. Every attack costs 15 minerals, the only unit that you have to pay per attack (other than suicide units like scourge). So you drop 200 minerals and 100 gas just to get them, then add 150 minerals to fill it up on scarabs. BUT, with good micro they can be devasting. Wipe out worker lines, level bases, make barracks units essentially useless against Protoss. With the right player like Snow, this is a five star unit, but generally, its limitations drop it to four. It's just too vulnerable with its low speed and reliance on shuttles. Also not easy to unlock. Barracks- Cybernetics Core- Robotics Facility- Robotics Support Bay- and then two upgrades to really make them work. It's a lot of investment that could go to high templar.

Scout **

This should probably be a one star unit but they do tank a lot of damage and deal a lot of anti air damage. But, their ground attack is pitiful, and they are stupid expensive: 275 minerals, 125 gas. And they used to cost more, 300 minerals and 150 gas when the game first game out! Also 3 control units. So you are paying a lot for a unit that's decent anti air, but that's about it. You can use one to harass and pick off overlords, or make a group of them to deal with battlecruisers or enemy carriers. Other than that, they are basically only used to troll.

Corsair ****

Makes the scout obsolete. It's anti air attack only deals 5 damage, but it has an incredibly fast rate of attack and huge splash radius. This makes it annihilate lighter fliers like mutalisks and wraiths. They are also great for hunting overlords. They have the disruption web ability which is cool but not really viable. It makes it so units in an area can't attack, which is great to block out static defense. But it doesn't last very long and costs 125 energy. Brood War is a great game, but that's one ability that desperately could use a buff.

Carrier ***

One of the most powerful units in the game. It launches 8 interceptors when upgraded, each with its own separate attack. Can attack air and ground, has the highest base armor in the game and can take an incredible amount of punishment. So why not a higher ranking? Well, a fully loaded one costs 550 minerals, 250 gas and 6 supply. It's a non starter against Zerg which can just kill them with cheap scourge. If you can get up to enough of them against Terran they are overpowered, but you are very vulnerable during the transition since they siphon of so many minerals and supply. If you try to use them against Protoss you actually give Protoss a reason to make scouts, so that's funny I suppose. Like the Battlecruiser, its cool but limited in utility. Much better as a campaign unit.

Arbiter ****

Its primary attack is pitiful and it costs 100 minerals and a whopping 350 gas. But, it can cloak an entire army and teleport an entire army into an opponents base. Also Stasis is an incredibly potent ability. It freezes a large area of enemy units for quite a while. During this time they are invincible but not attacking. You are essentially locking up a big chunk of enemy supply. If both sides are maxed out, this can really turn the tide of a battle. Four stars and not five though because of the price. That and its the hardest unit to unlock in the game. You need to get a gateway, then cybernetics core. Then you need a stargate. Then you need a citadel of adun. Then you need a templar achives. Lastly you need an arbiter tribunal. And even after that you still need to research abilities. It's about as late game as a unit can be.

Overall, High Templar, no contest, best Protoss unit.

Porque sos una pregunta, como todos.

¿A quién dirigirme? ¿a la superestrella de cine? ¿a la chica hermosa que es feliz siendo otros?

“Felix arbor” = árbol fructífero.

“I don´t get you Ennis de Mar” y una lágrima brotaba en ese rostro: fugaz recuerdo y previsión, curiosa forma de una máscara real.

Entonces sé que extrañamente te deseo como otra, pero con tu voz y tu mirada, con tu resabio y lumbre en cada palabra.

These words we say. These walls we climb. These epitaphs that fall in line. These wildly wondering wandering ways. These cruel distortions sown to fray. These lies upon lies upon lies long cast. These truths lawed forsaken to whither our past. These indignations we shed to spare. These lacerations we score as care. These bartered teachings paved from the start. These words that ensure we all play our part.

© 2026 AnOublietteofThought. All rights reserved.

I was taught this recipe many years ago by a friend who supposedly got it in Texas, over the years I’ve made a number refinements and due to popular demand am now sharing it with everyone else who might enjoy a nice chili.

Before we start an important note is that this is not an exact recipe, you can tweak it as you go and adjust it to taste and still end up with a good chili.

Ingredients

• 1 large onion, chopped

• 1–2 pounds of ground beef, or your favourite protein, I also tried Beyond Meat and a friend tried tofu and they all worked out well,

• 2–3 litres of crushed tomatoes (3–4 medium size cans), I like to start with diced and puree them myself using an electric wand,

• same amount of your favourite beans, I tend to prefer kidney but it’s whatever you like, sometimes I use a mix, about 2 litres (4–5 medium sized cans), make sure to rinse these if they come in a can, I actually prefer to start with dried beans and rehydrate them,

• 1 can or bottle of beer, I prefer a dark beer of some kind, but any beer will do,

• spicy peppers, this one is tricky as there are a number of variations, I started with 6 jalapeños, and tried various combinations before landing on 2 habaneros as the prefect spicy pepper for this recipe, feel free to experiment, the recipe is very forgiving overall, note that 3 habaneros will probably make this “hurty” food ;),

• 2–3 tablespoons of bakers semi-sweet chocolate, a lot of people look at me funny when I mention chocolate but it’s probably one of the key ingredients right up there with the spicy peppers, it adds a nice colour and consistency to the chili and also pushes the heat to the “back” so it doesn’t punch you in the face with each mouthful,

• 3–5 tablespoons of chili powder, start slow and you can keep adding more to taste, depending on the freshness of your powder you may have to add more than 3–5 tablespoons, again add a little, test and either add more or leave it alone,

• 1–2 tablespoons of cumin,

• 1 tablespoon of salt or less to taste, take it easy as you can always add more,

Steps

• start by browning your beef or protein in a large pot with a bit of olive oil,

• add the onion, tomatoes, and beans, simmer for about 1.5 hours, cover your pot with a lid or screen making sure that water can escape, make sure to use low heat (I usually stick to 2–3 setting on my stove), the chili can burn easily, we’re in it for the long haul so no point in using high heat,

• time to add the peppers, wear gloves and make sure to not rub your eyes, I usually cut my peppers into large chunks then put them in a container with half the beer and puree or blend it, pour the mixture into your pot and stir,

• use the remaining beer to rinse your container and pour the rest into your pot as well, stir your nascent chili well, at this point and let simmer for about 45 minutes,

• time to add the chili powder, cumin, chocolate, and salt, I add them in 5–10 minute intervals stirring well in between,

• at this point all the ingredients are present and it’s a matter of simmering your chili for at least two more hours, at times I’ve gone longer with no ill effect but again you have to be careful not to burn the chili, the more you simmer it the more likely that some of it may stick to the bottom of the pot and burn a little bit,

• feel free to taste your chili as you go and adjust it as you see fit, biggest recurring issue I’ve had is that my chili powder was past it’s best-before date and I had to add more to give the chili a nice colour and chili-like taste profile.

Closing Notes

This chili recipe is very forgiving, if you have more or less of any ingredient than required that’s ok, it’ll still come out decent.

It will actually get better overnight, after a few hours of simmering you can take it off the heat and just leave it covered on the stove, it will be great with eggs next morning.

It freezes really well, definitely a meal you can package then freeze and enjoy later.

Happy chili!!

#chili #recipe #chilirecipe #habanero #jalapeno

As a father, I spend hours a week at playgrounds. For the first two years I shadowed my kiddo every step. Now I stand at the periphery. I stand a lot. I wait a lot. Many and most parents and caregivers pass the hours on their phones. I understand their urge. Busy the mind. Give me something to do.

Yet something occurred to me around the time my daughter began climbing and sliding on her own.

This can be time for indwelling, for silent presence, for being alone (monos) in contemplative love. That inner-shift reoriented everything for me. I went from a dad biding his time to a father dwelling in prayer.

Amidst shrieks, tears, rhymes and babble of all sorts I attune to heart. Then comes a shout, “Papa! Look!” I cross the playground to my upside-down daughter who asks, “What're you doing?”

There are footnotes on this broken bridge— legions of paralysis inkscaped from the droughts of servitude, like dismissive dilations dancing atop the dreary recalibrations of a cracked, yet tethered, dogma. I stoop and scoop in looping high. Head just shy of a mounted celebration. The hesitation is exuberant in its weariness— two steps forward (A race of wherewithal from the back.) I've gotten off track. What I'd give for time on a wrack, extending... There are footnotes on this broken bridge where crosses esteem my lope haunting.

© 2026 AnOublietteofThought. All rights reserved.

Lots of boring accounting and excel sheets today.

But made a little somethin' somethin' for my special lady, which brought me much joy:

#journal

When I was young, I thought writers sat at their favorite desk to write. On it, they had their typewriter or computer, along with messy sheets of paper and folders, and all their accessories. He or she would type uninterrupted for hours along with a cigarette in their mouth and a glass of their favorite poison on their desk.

As a stay-at-home dad with two boys I don’t have that luxury. I only have time to write within the calm moments between the chaos. I’m a field writer. What was interesting was I already learned and applied the lessons when I worked surveillance as a private investigator.

Maybe you’re a busy person who’s having trouble writing and finishing whatever manuscript you’re working on. So I’m writing a short ebook on how you can flourish and get things done while writing in the field. Once I finish it will be published on my Gumroad page and I’ll let you know.

Keep in mind, I’m also working on the new sci-fi series I posted about previously. Stay tuned!

#writing #ebook #fieldwriting #Gumroad

Hey I’m on the train again, inside the train on my way home, yeah?

I have been conferencing today, breathing stale air. There’s a glimpse of what I may have been ended up doing if I’d taken another fork in the road, presales, project planning. I’m glad of this day, and glad I’m more of a technical expert, lurking in the shadows

Of course my head hurts from this bright exposure

It was nice

Of course it was

And yet as I entered into the heavy rain outside I felt refreshed and invigorated

I love the rain

I want to feel something, you know?

In this train in this rain I’m listening to the Waterboys “Red Army blues”; a cautionary tale about a WWII soldier defeating the Germans and being rewarded for his efforts with a single ticket to Gulag

And I’m thinking that it could be worse,

But that’s always the case, unless you’re the guy in the song,

Prepared to give his life to Soviet Russia, having it betray him, now all he has left is the brute will to survive.

Ironic

Now it’s more of a gothic song in my ears it’s very cool to Seelenschmerz

Glaubst du noch an meine Lügen?

Do you still believe in my lies?

Heavy stuff

I love this life!

Ich trage fast jeden Tag eine mechanische Armbanduhr. Das ist, nüchtern betrachtet, keine besonders vernünftige Entscheidung mehr. Mein Smartphone zeigt die Zeit genauer an, mein Computer ebenfalls, und selbst innerhalb der Welt der Armbanduhren wäre eine einfache Quarzuhr punkto Genauigkeit technisch überlegen. Meine mechanische Uhr schafft es sogar, jeden Monat einige Minuten von der objektiven Zeit abzuweichen – ein Feature, das mein Smartphone erstaunlicherweise nicht bietet. Trotzdem trage ich sie. Nicht trotz ihrer Überholtheit, sondern gerade deshalb.

Ähnlich geht es mir beim Schreiben. Ich schreibe viel von Hand und benutze dafür ausdrücklich einen Füllfederhalter. Auch hier ist es schwierig, mit Effizienz zu argumentieren. Eine Tastatur ist schneller, ein Kugelschreiber unkomplizierter, Spracheingabe inzwischen erstaunlich brauchbar. Dennoch gibt es Situationen, in denen ich lieber Papier vor mir habe, die Feder über die Seite führe und Gedanken in einem Tempo festhalte, das deutlich unter meiner Tippgeschwindigkeit liegt.

Man könnte solche Vorlieben vorschnell unter #Nostalgie verbuchen. Das liegt nahe, denn unsere Gegenwart ist reich an Retro-Ästhetik, Reissues, Vintage-Looks und Wiederbelebungen vergangener Formen. Agnes Arnold-Forster zeigt in ihrer Geschichte der Nostalgie, dass die Vorstellung einer verlorenen besseren Vergangenheit keineswegs erst mit dem digitalen Zeitalter entstanden ist. Gerade Zeiten raschen gesellschaftlichen und technologischen Wandels bieten dafür einen fruchtbaren Boden [1].

Nur trifft diese Beschreibung meine Haltung nicht besonders gut.

Eine nostalgische Position würde ungefähr lauten: Früher waren die Dinge besser, also möchte ich etwas von dieser verlorenen Welt bewahren oder zurückholen. Meine Haltung funktioniert aber anders. Ich weiss, dass es heute effizientere, bequemere und technisch überlegene Alternativen gibt. Gerade deshalb kann ich frei entscheiden, wann ich sie benutze und wann nicht. Das ist für mich keine Rückwärtsbewegung, sondern eine bewusste Selektionsentscheidung innerhalb der Moderne.

Der eigentliche Unterschied liegt nicht in den Dingen selbst, sondern darin, wie Vergangenheit und Gegenwart zueinander ins Verhältnis gesetzt werden. Nostalgie erzählt eine Verlustgeschichte. Mich interessiert eher ein Modell der Koexistenz. Das Smartphone macht die mechanische Uhr überflüssig, aber nicht bedeutungslos. Die Tastatur ersetzt Handschrift in vielen Situationen, ohne dass damit das Schreiben von Hand verschwinden muss.

Der Polaroid-Filter in der Kamera-App, der eine vergangene Ästhetik simuliert, ist etwas anderes als mit einem Füllfederhalter tatsächlich von Hand zu schreiben. Das eine zitiert Vergangenheit, das andere erhält eine Praxis als gegenwärtige Option.

Sobald eine Praxis funktional überflüssig wird, kann sie symbolisch interessanter werden. Genau dafür liefert auch die Konsumforschung einen passenden Hintergrund. Russell Belk hat beschrieben, wie Besitztümer Teil unseres Selbstbilds werden können [2]. Andere Arbeiten zeigen, dass einzelne Gegenstände sich mit Biografie, Rollen und Erinnerungen verbinden [3]. Meine Uhr ist dann nicht mehr bloss ein Instrument zur Zeitmessung, sondern wird zu einem vertrauten Bestandteil des eigenen Alltags.

Solche Dinge erzählen allerdings nicht nur uns selbst etwas über uns. Sie senden auch nach aussen Signale. Forschung zu subtilen Konsumsignalen zeigt, dass Produkte Zugehörigkeit, Wissen und soziale Distinktion vermitteln können, gerade wenn ihre Bedeutung nicht für alle gleich offensichtlich ist [4]. Das ist interessant, aber für meine Frage nur die halbe Geschichte.

Mich interessiert vor allem die Bewegung nach innen. Ich würde sie innere Distinktion nennen: die Fähigkeit, zwischen dem zu unterscheiden, was technisch möglich, gesellschaftlich üblich oder maximal effizient ist, und dem, was ich selbst für eine bestimmte Situation wählen möchte.

Damit ist nicht gemeint, das Umständliche zum moralisch Besseren zu erklären. Ich schreibe diesen Text selbstverständlich am Computer. Ich möchte nur selbst entscheiden können, welche Technik für welche Tätigkeit den Ton angibt. Gerade dieses „nicht müssen, aber können“ verändert den Charakter der Entscheidung.

Innere Distinktion wäre dann keine Flucht vor der Gegenwart, sondern eine Form von Selbstbestimmung innerhalb ihrer Möglichkeiten. Ich kann die bequemste, schnellste oder neueste Option wählen, aber ich bin ihr nicht automatisch verpflichtet. Fortschritt erweitert den Möglichkeitsraum. Er muss ihn nicht verengen.

Auch bei Kleidung lässt sich etwas davon beobachten. Der Hoodie ist ein schönes Beispiel dafür, wie schnell aus einer Geste der Nonkonformität eine Uniform werden kann. Was in Teilen der Tech- und Wissenswelt einmal als Bruch mit der alten Businesskleidung galt, ist vielerorts selbst zur Konvention geworden. Gleichzeitig sehe ich bei manchen Menschen wieder häufiger Hemden, Strick, Wollhosen oder Lederschuhe. Ob daraus ein breiter Trend wird, ist für meinen Punkt gar nicht entscheidend. Interessant ist, dass sich mit jeder neuen Norm auch das Potenzial zur Distinktion verschiebt. Der sogenannte „Red Sneakers Effect“ passt dazu: Bewusste Abweichung von Kleidungsnormen kann unter bestimmten Bedingungen sogar Kompetenz und Status signalisieren, wenn sie als absichtlich wahrgenommen wird [5].

Damit komme ich wieder zu meiner mechanischen Uhr zurück. Sie hat den Kampf gegen das Smartphone als Zeitmesser längst verloren. Darum zeigt sie uns heute deutlicher, wozu wir Dinge sonst noch brauchen.

Meine mechanische Uhr ist ungenauer als mein Smartphone, mein Füllfederhalter schreibt langsamer als meine Tastatur, und ein Paar Lederschuhe wird den Sneaker in Sachen Bequemlichkeit kaum schlagen [6]. Das ist kein Argument gegen moderne Technik. Im Gegenteil: Erst weil ich auf sie jederzeit zurückgreifen kann, werden die älteren Möglichkeiten zu echten Entscheidungen. Ein Teil moderner Freiheit besteht genau darin, nicht zurückzumüssen, aber zu können. Bewusst und mit Stil.

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Quellen & Anmerkungen [1] A. Arnold-Forster, Nostalgia: A History of a Dangerous Emotion. London: Picador, 2024.

[2] R. W. Belk, “Possessions and the Extended Self”, Journal of Consumer Research, Bd. 15, Nr. 2, S. 139–168, 1988. [Online]. Verfügbar unter: https://doi.org/10.1086/209154

[3] S. S. Kleine, R. E. Kleine III und C. T. Allen, “How Is a Possession “Me” or “Not Me”? Characterizing Types and an Antecedent of Material Possession Attachment”, Journal of Consumer Research, Bd. 22, Nr. 3, S. 327–343, 1995. [Online]. Verfügbar unter: https://doi.org/10.1086/209454

[4] J. Berger und M. Ward, “Subtle Signals of Inconspicuous Consumption”, Journal of Consumer Research, Bd. 37, Nr. 4, S. 555–569, 2010. [Online]. Verfügbar unter: https://doi.org/10.1086/655445

[5] S. Bellezza, F. Gino und A. Keinan, “The Red Sneakers Effect: Inferring Status and Competence from Signals of Nonconformity”, Journal of Consumer Research, Bd. 41, Nr. 1, S. 35–54, 2014. [Online]. Verfügbar unter: https://doi.org/10.1086/674870

[6] Dem möchte ich aus subjektiver Erfahrung widersprechen: Wer dies behauptet, kauft schlicht die falschen Schuhe – oder kennt seine richtige Schuhgrösse nicht.

Bildquelle Eugenio Zampighi (1859–1944): La montre, Privatbesitz, Public Domain.

Disclaimer Teile dieses Texts wurden mit Deepl Write (Korrektorat und Lektorat) überarbeitet. Für die Recherche in den erwähnten Werken/Quellen und in meinen Notizen wurde NotebookLM von Google verwendet. Für das Erstellen der Infografik wurde ChatGPT benutzt.

Topic #Selbstbetrachtungen | #Maschinenwelten

Wednesday's MLB game of choice once again has the Washington Nationals playing my Texas Rangers. This is the second game of a 3-game series between these two teams and is scheduled to start at 7:05 PM CDT. As I usually do I'll follow the game's scores and stats in real time via MLB's Gameday Service where we can also find links to the radio-call of the game provided by announcers of either team we choose.

The Rangers won the first game of this series, played last night, by a score of 5 to 0. Interestingly, this was the score in the fifth inning when I had to leave the game and put myself to bed. Hoping for another Rangers victory tonight.

And the adventure continues.

A DAW sounds fine, so…

If you think the sound is why folks like me prefer analog music-making, you’d be less than half right. While I do love the tones that come easily on my console, I can get close in a computer. It takes a different approach, takes me a little longer, but I get sounds I like listening to out of a DAW.

The reason analog is still king is because it is still a hobby. I don’t know what making music in a DAW is most the time. It is something akin to masturbating then showing off results. Sure work gets done in a DAW, but a lot of the “work” I hear is syncing menu items to BPMs and playing with effects. That’s wholly different than pounding a song out on an instrument. When it is just me and a guitar, there’s no menus. There’s no BPMs. There’s no mix. There’s my brain and there’s my hands. It is simply a more fun way to spend my time. And that is the deal with analog.

But what about the time making it? Isn’t that supposed to be enjoyable?

Folks I know who dig analog too have time they devote to music-making and enjoying that time is more important than enjoying the rewards of the music. The time to make the music is a reward in itself. Why spend that on a computer?

• sidenote-The demo lesson

I try (these days) to make nice demo packages for collaborators. I didn’t always. The reason is I want to be a good part in the day of these nice folks helping me out on a song. I want them to enjoy tracking and thinking of parts. I want good memories. I want them to want to play along. When I tossed crap over, I often got crap back. It’s different today. It’s not because of my ears. It’s because I am trying to have fun doing this stuff.

Let us count the ways. 1.

Analog is more fun to use in several ways, not just one way. First? No updates. I have devoted entire segments of my life learning software for production only for it to change key features or get bought and boom, my workflow has to change. My process should not be so dependent on software just for this alone. I don’t get better at things if they always change the rules.

2.

A screen stimulates. You may not notice. But, as someone who has cut out screens except to write a blog entry and watch the BBC occasionally, I can tell you, I am more calm than I can ever remember being. What this tells me is I’m “getting off” doing DAW work. It is feeding me stuff, it ain’t just music. The thing is, I like my mind better without the effect of screens all day on it. I want to like myself. So analog is an easy choice there.

3.

Analog has a few technical perks over computer DAW’s. My favorite now, because I am on a big project is “set it and forget it.” If me or a client wants all the songs to sound the same, cohesive, like they were all made together with a lot of the same thoughts in mind, it’s very easy. Sure, it is possible and probably done on the daily in the world on computers. But I have been using DAW’s since Cool Edit Pro 2.0 a long time ago, (2002?), and that one function has never been so easy as it is with the Tascam recorder. I just leave the knobs. Next.

4.

Software companies suck. I know that’s a general and broad statement. But, years of dealing with them have taught me, I can’t even trust this blog site I am using until we push and pull a little to test malleability. The culture of software is grimy and gross. They have no respect for folks’ time and their job is to save just that. They reboot or update software that takes years to learn, they get bought, change the feel, change the goals. They might take on new features and functions that detract from their primary purpose, or at least, purpose for you. And now, they harvest. They know everything you like. They can even track your eye movements on your phone to know what your eyes do while scrolling, looking at porn. They suck. A huge satisfaction for analog work for me is not giving them the pleasure.

5.

The main reason I am converting every studio function to analog as I can is really because my hands. It is good for them. I have Tardive Dyskinesia and I get relieved whenever I can do something I intend to do with my fingers, my hands. I like to type, one reason is this. I like faders, buttons, knobs, precise movements that have direct effect on the monitors. It makes me feel solid. I don’t get “solid” vibes with a mouse. It hovers in the general area, not precise like an actual fader or knob at my fingers. Precise is a good word because computer mixing often requires selecting from menus. That feels more like “getting lucky” when I stumble on things. That’s fine if you want that. But I prefer to dial things in the way I intend from the beginning. I am working towards that.

Like everything, it’s a process.

I got a console, Tascam Model 24. It sounds fabulous. Preamps on every channel. The sound hardly needs anything if it sounded good in tracking. Very different from an interface to computer. I rarely got good sounds through the Focusrite that didn’t take a good deal of messing with. Another reason I like analog recording is less computer work. There’s a whole shift I don’t have to do at the computer desk by going in the Tascam. It sounds fine already. So, one less thing.

I am not fully analog yet. But I am getting there. It’s not cheap, sadly. It takes saving, in my tax bracket. But, music. I am used to that.

How I’d get started today in analog.

If you ever want to try analog recording, I would start small. Or borrow. You may be hooked on the computer way of doing things and I’d feel bad encouraging you to spend money on something you can’t use. Analog will make you work how it needs to work. Some folks don’t like that. I do, less on my brain. The good thing is starting small is totally possible. Ever heard of a 4 track? Or even, an 8 track? Those can be very reasonable. Zoom makes great digital/analog style recorders. I still have my 16 track from “back in the day” and it works great. The sound is very pleasant. I like Zoom recorders because they have very few proprietary buttons, terms, actions. So if you know music, you can probably figure out their stuff pretty quick. No learning curve on new gear is like mana from the gods. Software companies do not reward you in this way, hardly ever.

It never ends, (that’s fine).

I am on the market now for outboard gear. I am looking at various options for compression. I use Opto and FET compression a lot in computer mixing. This is fun for me. One less thing for the computer to do, coming soon.

Kelly Kintner, Editor

The Horse’s Mouth Magazine

• Bryan Johnson on eliminating death in an interview for the Interesting Times podcast. The irony is that it is so obviously a terrible way to live. But Ross Douthat really is an exceptional interviewer.

• Matisse Teriade Correspondance 1930-1954.

• Shelfies #100: Jared Shurin – The sight of Jared's identical and perfectly shelved journals brings me so much inner peace and seething jealousy.

Random thought: The whole simulation theory thing that seems to be increasingly trendy these days actually isn't at all at odds with any of the traditional religious beliefs of old, the ones that imagined god as an anthropomorphized king on a throne in the clouds. Because simulation theory by definition implies the entire universe being created by someone somewhere. The anthropomorphized king in this case being a computer programmer. The throne: an ergonomic chair. Which, if you think about it, just so happens to be this decade's flavor of king.

#radar #journal