I had my squat primary day today and it hurts so bad during back offs. I couldn’t finish a set and then I fully stopped. I continued the rest of the program and it got so bad where it was agony even just to exist sitting down. I am honestly really disappointed because the whole reason I got a Coach was to work on this issue and have it go away, but my coach hasn’t really done anything other than saying that we’ll have to watch and see, and hasn’t changed my program at all. I feel like my program is just a cookie cutter paste that isn’t getting customized at all which I really don’t like.

On Mastodon I try to write a list of 3 good things every day. It’s such a great habit to have and I decided that, instead of attempting to update my now page, I’d make this post, wildly inspired by this post by cygnoir!

1. I’ve finished a headband in nålebinding and I love it so much! Just look at the beautiful pattern it creates. 

2. I went to Amsterdam, hitching a ride with my husband. It was SO nice to have a couple hours in the city centre. I brought the original campsnap camera along for the adventure. Will share more pictures later :)

3. I couldn’t sleep one night and decided to hand code a website. I even snagged a fancy JavaScript from somewhere so that the header, footer and navigation are automagically added to the pages.

4. I started the wardrobe switch from spring/summer to autumn/winter! Decluttered two bags of clothes in the process and still have the hanging clothes to go through.

5. Inktober started! I’m mostly following these fairytober prompts, but will go back to the official ones when I feel like it. 

And to share a doodle, here is the wonky one I made for day 4. I use a platinum desk pen with carbon ink for each one, and I doodle in my Filofax.

I share all my doodles on my mastodon account.

By Andrew Wooldridge

Game 060 in the collection is BRICKVADERS. The idea is simple: what if the aliens in Space Invaders were made of bricks, and your laser base was also a Breakout paddle?

It's 1983 and the Brick Armada is coming, an invasion fleet of aliens built out of living bricks, marching down on Earth in formation. Earth's last defence is the STRIKER, a ship that is half Breakout bat and half laser base. You bounce a plasma ball up into the formation to smash invaders and their brick armour, fire lasers between bounces, catch the capsules that fall out, and try to stop the Armada before it lands.

Like every game here, it uses no asset files. Every sprite, letter, explosion, backdrop and note of music is made in code. It's built with three.js and plays on a phone as well as on a desktop.

---

A cabinet in a dark arcade

The goal was for it to feel like a vertical monitor glowing in the corner of an arcade in 1983. The whole game is drawn into a 240 × 320 render target, the shape of a vertical arcade screen, then scaled up with nearest-neighbour sampling so the pixels stay chunky. On the way to your screen it goes through phosphor persistence (moving things leave a faint trail, like an old tube), bloom, and a CRT pass with curvature, scanlines, an aperture grille, a vignette and a little chromatic aberration. You can switch the CRT off if you prefer clean pixels.

The fun part is that every pixel is a real 3D cube. Invaders, bricks, the paddle, bullets, capsules, even the letters in the logo are instances of one InstancedMesh of boxes, lined up exactly on the 240 × 320 grid. The camera sits far back with a narrow field of view, so the flat playfield matches the pixel grid exactly, but anything with depth really is 3D.

That gives the game its look:

• When you hit an invader, pixels break off and tumble toward the glass as cubes, growing in perspective. Killing it bursts the rest.
• Each wave starts with the Armada's pixels flying in from all over the screen and snapping into formation.
• Bigger boxes get a one-pixel bevel in the shader, so bricks look like bricks while single pixels stay flat.
• Screen shakes roll the camera slightly, so for a moment you can see the sides of the voxels.

Behind the playfield, each of the five sectors has its own dim 3D backdrop: a lunar surface with Earth rising, a neon nebula, an asteroid belt, a synthwave sun over a grid, and finally the inside of the mothership. Even the HUD and menus are drawn in a hand-made 5 × 7 pixel font into the same low-res screen, so they glow and scanline like everything else.

The march is the music

My favourite detail is the sound. In Space Invaders the march speeds up as the aliens thin out. BRICKVADERS takes that literally: one beat of the music is one step of the formation. The simulation owns a beat clock and sends out timestamped beat events, and the Web Audio code schedules notes against the audio clock so they land sample-accurately.

Each beat plays the four-note march bassline, shifted into the current sector's chord, along with drums and a pulse-wave lead through a delay. Clear out the formation and the whole song speeds up with it. Brick hits play a rising pentatonic run, so a long chain of ball hits sounds like one melody.

Bosses, challenge stages, the title screen and the ending have their own songs on the same machinery, and there's a full set of generated sound effects, from the paddle blip (pitched by where the ball lands) to the warbling mystery-ship siren.

How it plays

The ball bounces Arkanoid-style: the angle depends on where it hits the paddle, and it speeds up a little with each hit. Your laser works like the original Space Invaders cannon, with one shot on screen at a time. Every hit the ball makes before it comes back to the paddle adds to your chain, and every five links add ×1 to your score multiplier, up to ×5.

The formation marches left and right and drops at each edge, the way you'd expect. If it reaches the ground, you lose a ship and it gets pushed back up. Mixed in with the invaders are bricks: rainbow bricks (it's Breakout, after all), silver bricks that crack, gold bricks only a fireball can break, TNT bricks that chain-react, and prize bricks that always drop a capsule.

There are nine kinds of invader, and the later ones change how you play:

• MIRROR is made of crystal, so your lasers bounce off it and come back at you. Only the ball hurts it.
• BUILDER lays new bricks in empty slots around it and repairs damaged ones.
• DIVER breaks formation Galaga-style, loops down at you, and rejoins from the top.
• CAPTOR dives to mid-screen and shines a tractor beam that steals your ball. Shoot it to free the ball, which comes back as a bonus extra ball.

Capsules work the way Arkanoid fans will expect: Laser, Expand, Catch, Multi-ball, Fireball, Slow, Barrier, Nova bomb and the rare 1UP. The Nova bomb wipes every enemy bullet off the screen and blasts everything. There's also a mystery ship that crosses the top of the screen, and yes, the old trick still works: your 23rd laser shot always scores the full 300.

Five sectors, five brick bosses

A loop is 24 stages: five sectors of three waves and a boss, with a challenge stage after the first four bosses.

SectorBoss1 · Lunar Outpost

King Krabbo, a giant crab of bricks with claw cannons2 · Neon Nebula

The Saucerator, a huge saucer with a spinning light ring and a death beam3 · Asteroid Alley

Rockjaw, an asteroid skull whose steel jaw opens and shuts over its core4 · Synth City

Phantom Queen, a flagship with a giant tractor beam and diver escorts5 · The Hive

The Overmind, a brain in a brick skull, in three phases

The bosses are big grids of cells, and you have to dig through them. There's armour to break, steel that won't break, gun ports that shoot until you knock them out, and a pulsing core that is the only thing that can kill the boss. Bosses rebuild armour around the core over time, so you have to keep at it. Breaking a cell sometimes cracks its neighbour, so tunnels open up. At a quarter of the core's health the boss hits CORE EXPOSED! and its hard armour crumbles for the finish.

The challenge stages are a nod to Galaga: five squadrons of eight invaders fly scripted loops without shooting back. You get rapid twin lasers and a ball that respawns for free. Hit all 40 for a PERFECT!! and 10,000 points.

Beat the Overmind and you get brick fireworks and credits, then Loop 2, where everything is tougher and faster, and it keeps going from there.

The arcade extras

I wanted the full cabinet experience, not just the game:

• An attract mode that cycles title → “Meet the Armada” → capsule table → high scores → a demo where the bot plays an early stage. The logo is made of bricks that fly in and assemble, then a ghost ball knocks bricks out of it.
• A coin-drop sound when you press start.
• A high-score table with three-letter initials.
• A CONTINUE? countdown from 9. Continues are unlimited, and the table records how many you used.
• CADET mode for younger players (five ships, slower bullets, a free barrier every life) and ARCADE mode for the real thing.

On a phone

On a phone, the screen sits on top and an arcade control panel fills the space underneath: a ridged spinner pad you drag across, a big red FIRE button and a yellow BOMB button. Turn the phone sideways and the pad moves to the left with the buttons on the right. Dragging moves the paddle relative to where your finger started, so your finger never covers it. It also works with a keyboard, a mouse or a gamepad.

Tested by a bot

As with the other recent games, the dev/ folder has its own test harnesses:

• simtest.mjs has the AI pilot clear every stage of two full loops headlessly in Node, on both difficulties, in about ten seconds. It fails on any exception, any NaN, or a ball that escapes the field.
• browsertest.mjs drives the real game in Chromium: the attract mode, menus, a game over and initials entry, all 24 stages, the ending and Loop 2, then touch-only phones in portrait and landscape. It fails on any console error.

The same bot that runs the tests also plays the demo in the attract mode. The whole game is about 5,500 lines of plain JavaScript modules with no build step.

A note on the art

BRICKVADERS is a tribute to the genre, not a copy of any one game. Every alien, the mystery ship and the shields are original designs. The three basic grunts (GLOOP, a one-eyed goo blob; BUZZ, a shelled space beetle; and PEEPER, a bat-winged eyeball) replaced earlier sprites that looked too much like the classic octopus, crab and squid.

Play it

Play BRICKVADERS, or find its statue in the Garden of Games with the rest of the collection. If you want to see how it's built, the design doc covers everything from the voxel shader to the boss phases.

Insert coin. Have fun!

🏥 A fully publicly owned NHS – GPs, dentistry and ophthalmology back in public hands ⚛️ Nuclear energy – Opposition dropped, now part of a full energy strategy

🏠 Three-year rent freeze – Breathing space for renters until at least end of 2029

🌍 Nature as a security issue – The biodiversity crisis gets national security focus

📺 Mutualise the BBC – Public control, licence fee abolished

💧 Water in public ownership – Renationalise now, not someday

🐑 Halve animal farming – Support farmers to go sustainable

🛒 Food price intervention – Fair prices for consumers and producers

✊ Councils empowered for BDS – Boycott, divest, sanction

🇵🇸 Zionism is Racism – Names the ideology as racist; calls for one state with equal rights and protections for all.

Policy priorities arrived at democratically by members! 💚

https://join.greenparty.org.uk/

#GreenParty #nhs #ClimateAction #BDS #palestine #BioDiversity #zionism #ukpol

Journal 6 octobre 2026

Nous sommes très émues au dojo. Ce matin des élèves nous ont apporté des fleurs blanches. On se demande comment ils ont su, il y a eu très peu d’articles de presse et on était pas citées, juste un avis de disparition comme il y en a des centaines chaque jour. Et cette après-midi je les vois arriver encore. Le bouche à oreille a fonctionné. C’est super gentil... Je vais descendre. Évidemment, l'atmosphère est particulière.

#Shieko

I picked the Ashwagandha card today from the Dirt Gems Oracle deck. Here’s my reflections on the card:

My body. I’m building this. It will be strong and it will find time to walk or move at least 30 minutes each day. I will move slowly and intentionally. I will feed it the most nourishing things, at least 5 meals with vegetables and fruits each week. I will rest and move gently when I need to.

My mind. I’m building this. It will be responsive and calm, and not reactive. Compassionate and not abrasive. I will feed it nourishing and gentle knowledge. I will let go of thoughts. I will write and reflect for at least 20 minutes each day to encourage equanimity.

My spirit. I’m building this. It will be strong and connected to all. I will meditate at least 20 minutes each session. Preferably twice each day, once in the morning and once in the evening.

All is one. I see this and acknowledge this. Apart from all that I’ve said I will do. I will pull a card to further reflect on everything as one. I will reflect on things I notice. What about these things can teach a lesson for my body, mind, and spirit today?

—

Aside from these, writing to report and note that I’m a regular Redditor! I even have the app downloaded on my phone. I don’t think I ever was, but it’s been a place of refuge for the very specific topics and things I’m into, namely, photography with my RicohGR3, tarot readings and tarot deck discussions. On the latter, I’m mindful to buy any more without actual client work. But it’s been interesting to see the different decks we are each drawn to. My starter decks are so different from everyone’s. I was conscious and mindful about not starting with the Rider-Waite or the more traditional decks. My most-used deck is actually Thoth-based and I was surprised to learn that very recently.

Anyway, the community-collective aspect of Reddit has always been its strength. That and the S-tier humour. I appreciate that there’s still a community vibe somewhere on the Internet. I have noticed though, people can be so quick to react and judge people, even to those that are out-rightly asking for help. Why can’t we help without judging? Why do we have to know the whole context?

#daily #writing #takingcare #DirtGemsOracle #reflection

Chapter 1: The Quiet Place Where You Admit You Are Worn Down

Sometimes it happens late at night when nobody is asking anything from you for a few minutes. The house is finally quiet, the screen on your phone has gone dark, and you realize how tired you are of being the one who always handles everything. You may not even know who to say that to, because the people around you have become so used to your strength that you are not sure they would know what to do with your weariness. The Jesus and the pressure to become what others expect message matters in that private place because Jesus understood what it was like to have people constantly reaching for something from Him.

There is a kind of exhaustion that comes from doing too much, but there is another kind that comes from feeling like you are not allowed to stop. You may be carrying responsibilities because they matter, but you may also be carrying an image. The capable one. The steady one. The person who does not fall apart. The person who always answers. That is why learning to follow God when people expect you to keep being the strong one can become such a personal spiritual struggle.

Maybe nobody has directly told you that you have to keep doing everything. Maybe they do not need to. You already know the pattern. A family member calls because there is a problem. A coworker comes to you because they trust you to fix it. A friend reaches out because you are the person who listens. You care about all of them, but somewhere in the middle of being useful, you start disappearing from your own life.

That can be hard to admit because part of you may like being needed. Being dependable can feel meaningful. It can make you feel valuable. It can even become the way you understand your place in other people’s lives.

Then one day, you are sitting alone and wondering what would happen if you stopped holding everything together.

Would people still value you if you were not always solving something?

Would they still call if you were the one who needed help?

Would they understand if you said, “I cannot do this today”?

Jesus gives us a strange kind of comfort here because He did not live as if every need around Him was automatically His assignment. People searched for Him. Crowds followed Him. His disciples told Him that everyone was looking for Him. Still, there were moments when He stepped away to pray or moved on to another place.

He did not do that because He stopped caring.

He did it because love and obedience were not the same thing as endless availability.

That is difficult to believe when you have spent years proving your care through how much you carry.

Maybe you need to hear this quietly rather than dramatically: you are allowed to be a person in your own life.

You are allowed to need rest.

You are allowed to admit that something is too much.

You are allowed to pray before answering instead of responding out of habit.

God is not disappointed in you because you have limits. He already knows them. The more important question may be whether you are willing to recognize them too.

Sometimes the first step toward a healthier kind of faith is not doing more. It is becoming honest enough to say, even if only to God at first, “I am tired of pretending this does not cost me anything.”

Chapter 2: When You Start Wondering Who You Are Without the Role

You may notice the question on a quiet afternoon when nobody needs anything from you for once. The room feels almost unfamiliar because there is no problem to solve, no urgent message, and no responsibility demanding your attention. Instead of feeling relieved, you feel restless. You reach for your phone, check your email again, or look around for something useful to do because being still makes you uncomfortable. Somewhere along the way, being needed became so closely tied to your identity that rest now feels almost like failure.

That can happen slowly. You become the person who remembers everyone’s appointments, covers the missed shift, fixes the broken plan, or keeps the family from falling apart during hard seasons. People begin to trust you because you are dependable, and you begin to trust yourself for the same reason. There is something good in that, but there is also a danger when responsibility becomes the only way you know how to feel valuable.

Jesus never built His identity around usefulness.

He served constantly, but He did not need people to need Him in order to know who He was. Before the crowds grew large, before the miracles became known, before people followed Him from town to town, His identity was already rooted in the Father.

That matters if you have spent years measuring yourself by what you accomplish for others.

Maybe your family sees you as the strong one because you rarely complain. Maybe your friends know you as the person who always answers. Maybe your workplace has rewarded you for being the person who never says no. Eventually, those roles can feel permanent. You stop asking what you need because you are too busy living up to what everyone expects.

Then something changes.

Your energy is lower. Your schedule becomes fuller. You realize you are carrying resentment toward people you genuinely love. You start noticing that you are angry at requests that would not bother you if you had more room inside your own life.

That anger can be uncomfortable, but it may also be telling you something.

It may be telling you that you have ignored your own limits for too long.

Jesus did not ignore His limits. He slept when He was tired. He withdrew to quiet places. He stepped away from crowds. He prayed before major decisions. He did not act as though spiritual strength meant denying every human need.

You do not have to either.

Imagine a friend calling you late in the evening with another problem they expect you to solve. In the past, you might have stayed on the phone for an hour even though you were exhausted. This time, you listen for a few minutes and then say, kindly, “I care about you, but I need to rest tonight. Can we talk tomorrow?”

That may seem like a small change, but it can feel enormous when you are used to being endlessly available.

The fear that comes afterward may surprise you. You may worry that they will think you have changed, become selfish, or stopped caring.

Maybe you have changed.

Maybe you are learning that love does not have to require self-erasure.

Maybe you are discovering that your value remains intact even when you are not the person solving the problem.

God can still use you when you are resting. He can still love you when you are unavailable. You are still worthy of care when you have nothing left to give.

Sometimes the deeper work of faith is learning to believe that.

Chapter 3: Letting God Love the Person Beneath the Role

Tomorrow may bring another request before you have fully finished your first cup of coffee. Someone may need an answer, a favor, a decision, or your time. Before you respond, remember that you are more than the role you have learned to play for everyone else.

Jesus served people without allowing service to become His identity. He knew who He was before the crowd approved of Him, before anyone thanked Him, and before anyone understood Him.

You can begin learning that same kind of security.

You do not have to earn your worth by being endlessly useful. You do not have to prove your love by carrying every burden. You can still be generous, dependable, and compassionate while admitting that you are human.

God is not asking you to disappear inside everyone else’s needs.

He is asking you to walk with Him honestly.

And sometimes honesty begins with admitting that you need care too.

Your friend, Douglas Vandergraph

Explore the complete Douglas Vandergraph Master Index: https://douglasvandergraph.com/douglas-vandergraph-master-index/

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s faith-based videos on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@douglasvandergraph

Thớt gỗ cần được rửa sạch và lau khô ngay sau khi dùng để tránh nứt và mốc.

Định kỳ thoa một lớp dầu ăn mỏng giúp thớt bền hơn. Xem thêm dụng cụ bếp tại GaoKit.

Một con dao tốt giúp nấu ăn nhanh và an toàn hơn. Bạn nên chọn dao thép không gỉ, cán cầm chắc tay và có trọng lượng vừa phải. Tham khảo thêm các mẫu dao tại GaoKit.

It was really early in the morning when Abiva found herself in the main estate's kitchens. The morning cycle had not started yet and so it was only Burdak Rikol, their Arch Maid of the Scullery Battalion and head chef for all Lord Henry Patton-Avernell's food, and a few of the early morning maids that assisted him.

At that moment, Burdak was doing his best not to grin while Abiva looked dejectedly at the smoldering black circle on the skillet that she had been using. The red head glared at it with an anger that she rarely gave anyone.

“At least, this time, it's not on fire,” Burdak said, the laugh almost breaking through. Abiva glared at him hoping it would murder the cook.

“Well,” Abiva groused. “Don't leave me in suspense. What did I do wrong?”

“The heat is still too high, and the batter was to thin. It burned before you had a chance to flip it,” He explained.

“That's what I did last time!”

Burdak did not hide the laugh this time. “No, the last time you put it on too thick, got distracted looking for the chocolate chips you should have had ready and caused the entire pan to catch on fire.”

“I forgot where I put them,” the Arch Maid of the Estate Legion side taking the skillet over to the trash can and scraping roughly with the spatula to deposit her failure on top of the other ones. She came back sullen, her green eyes filled with irritation.

Burdak took the old skillet and handed the woman another one. “Why are you trying to make this...pancakes?”

“Because Lord Henry likes them. I heard him telling the Mistress once that his mother used to make these things called chocolate chip pancakes and a database search showed they're a lot like our gorelushivmot, so I thought I could make it.”

“Can you make gorelushivmot?” Burdak inquired with a twinkle in his eyes.

Abiva avoided eye contact as she rocked a bit on her heel. “No. Not really.”

“Can you cook anything?”

“Only if you want it on fire.” said another voice from the corner. It was quiet but in the kitchens that hadn't started their morning activities, it was loud. Abiva spun on her heel, eyes blazing at the newcomer. Nish Kevet stood there with a set of folded sheets with a rare grin on her face.

“Nish!” Abiva hissed at her lover. “Be somewhere else.”

“I'm just warning the Arch Maid,” Nish continued making her way to the door. “You almost burned down our quarters a few years ago.”

“Shush!” Abiva hissed threatening to throw the salt shaker on the counter at her. Nish skipped out, and the red head turned back, her cheeks matching her hair.

“Alright,” Burdak said taking the skillet. “Let's try again. This time, we're going to try on a lower heat and with more butter. Don't rush it.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And where are the chocolate chips?”

Abiva moved the bag from the counter behind her on to the counter by the stove.

---

The kitchen was now busy when Abiva decided that the batch she had in front of her was the best batch she was going to make. A lot more batter died in the line of duty but this time, there were a lot less burned spots and no leaking, uncooked batter. The young woman was actually proud of her that she only set two more on fire in the process.

Burdak had been plating them with a grin. “You did very well, Arch Maid.”

The woman grinned.

“Do I smell pancakes?”

Abiva's heart jumped, and her skin went cold at the voice coming from the doorway. She turned trying not to fall over herself, saw both her Lord and her Mistress and quickly folded her hands in front of her and bowed.

“My master!” Abiva said, her voice dry and scratchy, trying her best not to shake.

Henry Patton had walked up to the counter where Burdak had just set down the three pancakes and she secretly wanted to hug that chef. He had put the best ones she had made and hid the other ones behind him. The Terran lord looked at them with eyes wide.

“I didn't know you could make these!”

“Abiva and I thought it would be an excellent addition to your breakfast, my lord,” Burdak said pushing the plate forward and Abiva wasn't upset he took some of the credit. He was excellent at reading the room and the icy stare she was getting from Mistress made her even more nervous. The maid's left wrist gave her a phantom ache from where Maevin had dislocated the last time she got out of line.

“Can I try some?”

“Please!” Abiva said, the excitement a bit too overboard which caused Maevin's eyes to narrow.

“This is a batch that Maid Abiva made as we experimented with creating them,” Burdak said offering a fork.

Henry pulled up the stool closer, hopped on it and dug in. After two bites, he broke into a big grin. “These are delicious! I can't believe you were able to get the ingredients for it. These aren't anything like the breads you make here. It tastes like home.”

“We imported bleached wheat flour and chocolate chips from Terra to make sure they were authentic,” Burdak continued as Abiva braced herself on the counter trying not to hyperventilate from happiness that he liked her cooking. She was going to rub that compliment into Nish's face tonight.

Henry reached over and patted Abiva's hand with a smile. “You did great. Thank you! Tasted just like home.”

Yeah. She was going to faint from happiness.

Whatever their mission was continued as Henry scooped up the plate to take with him and Abiva tried her best not to get burned from the glare she was getting from Maevin. Goddess, I'm gonna get the awful jobs for the next week.

“I'll cover for you,” Burdak grinned starting to clean up.

“What?”

“I heard through the grapevine about the incident with Lord Henry and Maevin's reaction. I'll smooth it over for her so that you don't take the brunt.”

Abiva couldn't help herself but threw her arms around the man and gave him a crushing hug. “I don't deserve a friend like you.”

“Shoo,” Burdak laughed pushing her back. “You got work to do, and I have to get the kitchens start.”

Abiva did her best not to skip on her way to her first assignment.

5.10.2026

Down

i chose a hill to die on with no exit plan

Publicat la 29 august 2017

Timpul s-a născut odată cu Marea Explozie, cu Big Bang-ul.

Până atunci a fost probabil un singur element ce umplea spațiul de astăzi al universului cunoscut și necunoscut: întunericul. Apoi, după explozia primordială, totul în jur a devenit orbitor. Și, pentru că era foarte mult loc pentru foarte multă lumină, ce fusese concentrată într-un bulgăre la fel de negru precum întunericul din jur a început să înlocuiască întunericul într-un ritm amețitor.

Dar spațiul era atât de vast, încât bulgării de lumină, născuți în explozie, apucară care-ncotro, lăsând poteci scânteietoare în urma lor. Unii ajunseră departe, pierduți în spațiu. Alții poate călătoresc și acum. Cine-i mai vede?!

Unii se întâlniră, prin cine știe ce împrejurări, cu confrați mai mari ori mai mici, reunindu-se cu zgomot. Dar cine să-i audă în acel vacarm infernal? Sau să fi fost ceresc?!

Străbătură spațiul și începură să se așeze pe unde apuca fiecare.

Dar mai apăru ceva odată cu lumina, cu zgomotul, cu drumul lor: timpul!

Odată cu prima pulsație, cu primul tremur, cu primul suflu, apăru și timpul, care începu să bată ritmat un tact unic. Poate deformat, alterat, micșorat ori amplificat, dar unic.

La un moment dat l-am privit în lungul axei sale și am descoperit un punct, dar punctul era doar perspectiva mea.

Îmi convenise acea poziție, pentru că avusesem impresia că timpul încetase să-și mai țină ritmul ce, ulterior, fusese bătut de ceasornice: tic-tac, tic-tac.

Fusese doar o iluzie: el își vedea nestingherit de drum, orb la lumina împrăștiată în întunericul ce nu putuse fi acaparat de strălucire.

Lumina se mai joacă și acum de-a chimia, lăsându-ne uimiți pe noi, praful stelelor ce-or fi fost și vor mai fi, de formele colorate din depărtări, candelabre ce demult s-or fi stins.

Noi încă ne mai mirăm de priveliștea asta, acum colorată, în fărâma aceasta de timp ce ne-a fost întâmplător dat să o experimentăm.

Timp.

Publicat la 25 august 2017

Am citit odată că rock ‘n’ roll se referă la sex, că e despre sex. Pur și simplu. Sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll: un concept circular, o stare de spirit, un mod de viață, o generație și încă una și, iată-mă și pe mine prins în acest miraj de alb lăptos, de fum amețitor, de sunet intens, de amorțeală și timp fără înțeles, de viteză supersonică și de ochi roșii care se zgâiesc în infinitul aceluiași timp sau al timpului de odinioară.

Rock. O stâncă, un cuvânt puternic. Muzică, acorduri vibrante, rezonanță cu eul visător, cu eul plin de dorință sau cu cel latent. Piatra de temelie a unui gen dur, hotărât, care poate urca spre zone acustice mai înalte sau poate coborî în cele mai grave și mai întunecate registre, combinând furii învăluitoare cu înălțimi amețitoare.

Uneori, cuvintele sunt la fel de puternice. Singur, cuvântul nu reușește să transmită fiorul sunetului.

Sunetul singur poate face însă miracole.

Un singur sunet à la Gary Moore, acel sunet de cartea recordurilor. Dar, împreună, cuvintele și sunetele rock sau metalice pot forma o combinație de-a dreptul sfâșietoare, ucigătoare sau, dimpotrivă, înălțătoare.

Nu e nevoie de prea mult ca rock-ul să te fure de acolo unde te afli și să te arunce în cine știe ce locuri nepământene, fie ele strălucitoare ori sumbre de-a dreptul.

Uneori ajungi atât de năucit de undele acustice, încât nici nu știi ce s-a întâmplat cu tine. Nu că ți-ar păsa sau că ai vrea să-ți schimbi starea. Efectul psihedelic te poate face să râzi și să-ți miști trupul în ritmuri de Woodstock sau te poate trimite în stările specifice individului din camera de hotel, aflat într-o dispoziție de amorțeală confortabilă.

Rock and Words, dar cuvintele nu vor să vină cu ușurință. Nici sunetele.

Cel puțin pentru unii ca mine.

O chitară bass electrică. Un Fender. Un Gibson. Un G string. Un Ibanez.

Vă sună a spaniolă? Da?! Și mie, dar nu este spaniolă, ci japoneză.

O japoneză fluidă, suplă, o flacără stacojie sau una la fel de întunecată precum cărbunele din mină, dar cu un sunet impecabil, cu acorduri grave și pătrunzătoare până în măduva oaselor.

Un sunet care te înfioară, dar este un fior pe care ai vrea să-l lași să-ți pătrundă până în adâncul sufletului. Un sunet pe care ai vrea să-l smulgi din spiralele acelea deopotrivă strânse și flexibile; suficient de strânse încât să vibreze odată cu sufletul rătăcitor sau visător și suficient de flexibile încât să te lase să-ți arunci cu înverșunare degetele asupra lor, fără să-ți dai seama că, din negrul cărbunelui, chitara ta a devenit sângerie.

Vreți una albă?

Puteți alege una cu gât întunecat, dar cu un corp la fel de alb și strălucitor ca lumina soarelui de deasupra imensității deșertului.

Deșertul sau drumurile generației beat.

Generația unor maeștri ai unui cuvânt la fel de puternic precum sunetul rock.

Rock and Words.

Our Father Who art in Heaven Hallowed be Thy name Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven Give us this day our daily Bread And forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil

Amen

Jesus is Lord! Come Lord Jesus!

Come Lord Jesus! Christ is Lord!