This review originally appeared on Goodreads on October 11, 2021.

Peepland

By Christa Faust (Writer), Gary Phillips (Writer, Artist), Andrea Camerini (Artist) – Titan Comics – August 1, 2017

Review by Robin Marx

Set in the seedy pre-gentrification Times Square of 1986, Peepland tells the story of peep show booth girls, pornographers, punks, and other outcasts who become unwitting witnesses to a murder committed by a rich kid with a connected father.

I’ve read a half dozen entries in the Hard Case Crime line of graphic novels and this is the best one so far. The art is consistently high quality throughout, and Christa Faust’s neo-noir prose is always a treat. In an afterword, Faust mentions that the feel and some of the characters are based on her own experiences working peep show booths in 80s Time Square, and the story does benefit from authenticity and the humanity with which the misfit characters are treated.

★★★★☆

#CapsuleReviewArchive #ComicReview #CrimeFiction #TitanComics #HardCaseCrime #Peepland #ChristaFaust

This review originally appeared on Goodreads on January 9, 2017.

The Polar Treasure / Pirate of the Pacific (Doc Savage #4 & #5)

By Kenneth Robeson (House Name)/Lester Dent – Street & Smith – 1934

Review by Robin Marx

The Polar Treasure was a lot of fun, but the accompanying Pirate of the Pacific was perhaps the weakest installment in the series this far, even worse than Quest of the Spider.

The Polar Treasure starts off with the kidnapping of a blind master violinist and ends up with a submarine voyage to the arctic. The action is great, Doc's exploits are clever, and the supporting characters memorable. One twist was that instead of one nefarious criminal gang, Doc and his crew find themselves dealing with two competing gangs of crooks. This adds an extra dimension to the narrative not seen in previous installments.

While The Polar Treasure was a great deal of fun, Pirate of the Pacific was a dull slog. Taking place immediately after The Polar Treasure (Doc and his friends are journeying back from the arctic circle in their submarine), the story involves a “modern day” pirate named Tom-Too attempting to conquer the “Luzon Union” (apparently the fictionalized Philippines). I found it difficult to remain involved in the action. There's a briefly interesting passage where Doc and his pals go incognito on the same ocean liner as Tom-Too and his cronies, but Doc Savage's pals are repeatedly and monotonously kidnapped and rescued over the course of the story. Doc's escapes from danger are even more unbelievable than usual, and even the shark attack scenes are less exciting than they could have been. When Tom-Too's true identity was revealed as a fairly unobtrusive supporting character I couldn't summon up much more than a shrug.

While it tinges pretty much all of the Doc Savage stories given the time period, the racism in Pirate of the Pacific is particularly egregious. Tom-Too's gang is a mix of Asian ethnicities, so there are lots of references to “slanted-eyes,” yellow skin, “half-castes,” and so forth. The Man of Bronze spends a great deal of time undercover in yellow-face, speaking in the same cringe-worthy “Me so solly!” pidgin and fawning “O most beneficent one!” pseudo-Chinese speech as the evil Asian criminals. As a pulp fiction fan I generally don't get too worked up about outdated depictions of ethnic minorities, but they were particularly prominent and ignorant in Pirate of the Pacific. The Polar Treasure had some references to foul-smelling, superstitious Eskimos, but they weren't portrayed as wicked sub-humans.

The Polar Treasure was one of the better Doc Savage yarns, but I think Pirate of the Pacific can be safely skipped.

★★★☆☆

#CapsuleReviewArchive #BookReview #PulpFiction #ThePolarTreasure #PirateOfThePacific #DocSavage #KennethRobeson #LesterDent

Pour la journée mondiale de la bipolarité, des Francs-Comtois atteints de la maladie témoignent à cœur ouvert. • © JEAN-FRAN?OIS FREY / MAXPPP

Publié le 30/03/2025 à 06h05, écrit par Hugo Courville

Arrivé dans leur vie au moment où ils s'y attendaient le moins, plus de 600 000 personnes ont reçu un diagnostic médical attestant d'une bipolarité en France. Vie de tous les jours, acceptation par leur famille et traitement à vie, ils témoignent de leur quotidien pour mettre fin au jugement de la population sur les troubles qu'ils endurent.

Société

De la vie quotidienne aux grands enjeux, découvrez les sujets qui font la société locale, comme la justice, l’éducation, la santé et la famille.

C'est une maladie psychiatrique chronique caractérisée par des troubles récurrents de l'humeur. La bipolarité touche près de 2,4 % de la population en Europe contre entre 1% et 2,5% en France. Ce sont donc entre 650 000 et 1 600 000 personnes qui sont touchées par cette pathologie dans l'Hexagone.

Pour la journée mondiale de la bipolarité, le 30 mars, des Francs-Comtois ont décidé de sortir du silence pour sensibiliser à cette maladie. Une façon de faire avancer le monde des personnes atteintes de bipolarité, qui se sentent encore jugées par la population.

“Au départ, on me disait que j'avais des troubles de la personnalité borderline”

Pour la majorité des patients définis comme bipolaires, c'est dans le jugement de l’autre que les choses doivent avancer. Diane est aide-soignante en Suisse et habite dans le Doubs. Travailleuse frontalière depuis des années, elle a été diagnostiquée bipolaire en 2021. “Adolescente, je me suis toujours sentie différente. J'étais souvent en dépression selon les diagnostics. Au départ, on me disait que j'avais des troubles de la personnalité borderline, que mes émotions étaient instables, jamais on ne m'avait évoqué la bipolarité au départ”.

Quand on a mis des mots sur mon mal, c'était un soulagement. Je m'étais tellement sentie différente toute ma vie.

Diane

Atteinte de bipolarité

De l'autre côté du Doubs, Mathieu, 45 ans et ancien chargé de ventes dans une entreprise Suisse, a connu la même problématique. “J'ai eu des crises ponctuelles et plusieurs hospitalisations. Tout a commencé en 2003. J'avais 22, 23 ans et j'ai fait des bouffées délirantes. Je ne me sentais plus moi-même. Je ne connaissais pas la maladie et je pensais que ça allait s'estomper. Quatre ans plus tard, j'étais diagnostiqué bipolaire, c'était un soulagement”, affirme-t-il.

“J'avais toujours des sujets de discussion, alors que je suis réservé”

Mathieu est père de deux enfants. Il apprend encore aujourd'hui à vivre avec la maladie, 18 ans après son diagnostic. “Ce sont des phases d'euphorie. On se sent en superforme. Je ne dors pas, je parle beaucoup. J'ai toujours des sujets de discussion, alors que je suis réservé”, détaille le quarantenaire, qui enchaîne : “Par contre, il m'arrive d'être en opposition avec les autres. On se sent invulnérable et il ne faut pas être contrarié”.

J'avais l'impression que j'étais destiné à de grandes choses, genre Président de la République.

Mathieu

Atteint de bipolarité

Un mental qui change du tout au tout, des situations de détresse, des périodes de crise et de dépression. Diane et Mathieu l'ont vécu tous les deux à leur façon. Leurs proches, dans l'incompréhension au départ, ont dû s'adapter, mais l'écoute et l'accompagnement ont prévalu. “J'avais honte de la dire à ma famille, mais désormais, c'est ma maman qui me pousse à aller à l'hôpital quand ça ne va pas”, explique Diane

Pour Mathieu, de son côté, “tout le monde a tout de suite accepté”. “On essaie d'être le plus normal possible, malheureusement mes enfants [de 9 et 11 ans] ont subi deux de mes crises maniaques, mais au jour le jour, on essaie de faire face pour eux, afin qu'ils aient la meilleure éducation possible. Je pense que sans eux, je ne serais peut-être plus de ce monde. Lors des crises, mes parents faisaient attention à ce que je ne fasse pas n'importe quoi et lors de mes dépressions, ma famille m'a beaucoup soutenue”.

“Lorsqu'on est en phase maniaque, on fait des choses irrationnelles”

Depuis plusieurs années, Mathieu suit un traitement lourd. Des médicaments qui le mettent dans un état second, et le font aller mieux, même si des effets négatifs se distinguent. “J'ai du mal à discuter et je m'isole un peu plus socialement, alors que j'avais beaucoup de contacts plus jeune. Je dois aussi faire face à la dépression. À côté de ça, j'ai perdu mon travail après ma dernière crise et j'ai du mal à en retrouver, parce que j'ai un gros manque de confiance en moi”, affirme le quadragénaire. Une situation de laquelle le Doubien aimerait sortir, mais avec ses crises, il n'arrive parfois pas à se contrôler.

J'ai un traitement assez fort qui m'empêche de refaire des crises, mais qui me met un peu le cerveau en pause.

Mathieu

Atteint de bipolarité

“Lorsqu'on est en phase maniaque, on fait des choses irrationnelles, qu'on regrette par la suite, mais on ne se contrôle pas sur le moment. S'ensuit la dépression que l'on subit et que les gens ne comprennent pas forcément. Mais c'est la même chose, on n'est pas maître de soi”, affirme Mathieu.

“Il faut évoluer, ce n'est pas pour autant que nous sommes fous”

Pour ces deux personnes atteintes de bipolarité, parler de leur maladie est devenu leur mission. Bien que ceux-ci aient des différences, ils veulent faire entendre qu'ils sont comme les autres. “Je suis divorcée, j'ai un enfant, mais j'ai aussi une vie”, affirme Diane, qui détaille également que “c'est très dur. On passe par plein d'étapes, du psychologique au physique, en passant par le moral. Il n'y a que quand on est stabilisés que ça va mieux. Avec un bon traitement, on peut vivre normalement”.

Il y a trop de jugement. On avance, mais il faut en parler pour sensibiliser les gens.

Diane

Atteinte de bipolarité

“Les bipolaires se sentiront moins isolés” si les langues se délient, affirme Mathieu. “Pour que les gens dans le même cas se sentent moins seuls, il faut en discuter. Quand je lis des témoignages de cas similaires, ça me rassure. Je me dis que je ne suis pas le seul et cela me permet de moins culpabiliser de ma situation”, complète le quadragénaire.

Du côté de Diane, la mère de famille veut porter haut les valeurs des personnes atteintes de troubles de la bipolarité. “Comme tout le monde, je fais plein de choses. Je suis intelligente et je travaille à côté. Je pense que je fais plein de choses que certaines personnes ne font pas. Désormais, il faut évoluer, la maladie ne fait pas pour autant de nous des fous”.

This review originally appeared on Goodreads on August 16, 2015.

The Graveyard Book

By Neil Gaiman – HarperCollins – September 30, 2008

Review by Robin Marx

This Jungle Book-inspired young adult fantasy by Neil Gaiman was pleasant, but nothing particularly profound.

The central premise, in which an orphaned toddler is adopted by the residents of a cemetery, is an interesting one, but the details of such a living arrangement felt insufficiently explored. The quirky antagonists of the story likewise felt underdeveloped and sort of a rehash of the much more interesting Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandemar from Neverwhere.

While I won't label it a flaw, per se, I did find it a bit jarring every time the Internet or other trappings of modern society were mentioned, as the book's voice has a very Edwardian feel (much like the artwork of Edward Gorey).

I didn't dislike this book, but it definitely felt like one of Gaiman's lesser works. It could be a worthwhile recommendation to boys and girls in late elementary school, but for the adult reader or fan of Gaiman there's not much to sink your teeth into.

★★★☆☆

#CapsuleReviewArchive #BookReview #UrbanFantasy #YoungAdult #TheGraveyardBook #NeilGaiman

Este mes tampoco ha habido mucho movimiento a la hora de jugar en físico, aunque he estrenado Smart10, el trivial bien, y Hitster en español, con un 100% más de Verano Mix. A ver si en algún momento tengo energía para preparar reglas y jugar a algo que requiera tener funcionando al menos un 70% del cerebro.

He probado en BGA varios juegos un poco más sesudos, con mayor o menor éxito. Beer&Bread, poco apto para celíacos, lleva la mecánica del draft de cartas con distintas habilidades a un juego estratégico de recursos para dos jugadores. No le he terminado de pillar el punto a exprimir la cosecha de recursos para cuadrar los ingredientes para las recetas, pero tampoco me ha dado ganas de perseverar. Con un enfoque y poco interés semejante (aunque más sencillo), The Bloody Inn plantea administrar una posada con el objetivo de ir sobornando, asesinando y enterrando a huéspedes.

Stalk Exchange consiste en manipular el mercado de flores y tu ¿portfolio? para buscar ser el mejor cris(an)t(em)obro, supongo. Creo que hay otros juegos de manipulación de mercado con más gracia, y el tema y el área donde se plantan las flores están pegados con cola.

Nanga Parbat ha sido el juego que más me ha gustado. Es bastante abstracto, y se trata de colocar montañeros en la cima de una montaña, que está representada con 6 triángulos (3 en la base, 2 en el nivel intermedio y 1 en la cima, todos los triángulos están en la misma orientación y el espacio sobrante no se usa). Cada triángulo está dividido en 6 casillas también en formación 3-2-1, de manera que colocar un escalador en una posición obliga al siguiente jugador a irse al triángulo grande asociado. Cuando ponemos un escalador, recogemos un animal (los hay de varios tipos) que nos permitirá puntuar por diferentes sets y hacer acciones adicionales (cambiar de posición escaladores y animales). Además, tenemos varios criterios para puntuar y tendremos que escoger nosotros qué puntuamos y en qué momento, impidiendo que el rival puntúe por lo mismo. Me parece bastante táctico y profundo con pocas reglas.

¿Estás cansado de que los juegos traten de culturas remotas? En Citrus plantarás cítricos en unas fincas con poca agua y pagarás poco a los trabajadores y te sentirás como en Andalucía, además de tener en la portada a una señora recogiendo fruta con un traje de flamenca y sombrero cordobés a juego. Un juego clásico alemán del estilo de Alhambra o Carcassone. Del mismo autor, he probado Orlèans, pero al ser más complejo tengo que darle más, a ver si teniendo una estrategia a más largo plazo me convence.

Nuevos juegos probados

• Beer & Bread
• Citrus
• Hitster 100% en Español
• Kamon
• King of Tokyo: Duel
• Love Letter
• Nanga Parbat
• Orléans
• Puerto Rico
• Pyramido: Forgotten Treasures
• Smart10
• Stalk Exchange
• The Bloody Inn

Tags: #boardgames #juegosdemesa

This review originally appeared on Goodreads on July 25, 2017.

Old Man's War

By John Scalzi – Tor Books – January 15, 2007

Review by Robin Marx

This was an exciting military SF adventure in the tradition of +Starship Troopers*. A retiree joins the Colonial Defense Force, rumored to be able to make the elderly young again, and soon finds himself drawn into a much larger universe—one full of conflict—than he expected.

While it's touched upon briefly, I expected a bit more meditation on the psychological toll constant warfare would have on the human mind, but the general mood is kept brisk and light throughout the book. Readers looking for more emotional heft are advised to check out The Forever War or Armor. Despite its different emphasis, Old Man's War is not necessarily a shallow book, however, and fans of those other military SF classics are likely to enjoy this book as well.

Old Man's War works just fine as a stand-alone work of science fiction, but the world presented is interesting enough that the sequel volumes look appealing as well. Recommended for fans of military SF, or old fashioned space opera in general.

★★★★☆

#CapsuleReviewArchive #BookReview #ScienceFiction #MilitarySF #OldMansWar #JohnScalzi

In the wonderful, artful and powerful Grimorium Verum, almost as an appendix casually tacked onto the end, there is a curious operation called the “Cabala of the Green Butterfly”.

This charming, oblique little text contains a range of challenges to the human security system – physical, social and philosophical.

It takes the operator outside, in many ways.

My own recollections and thoughts, from this very strange time

When actually trying to do this stuff, it has a way of really reminding you how these texts can make you seem really mad, bad and dangerous to know.

This is the work of warriors, and requires a level of physicality, fearlessness, skill, cunning, and perhaps a bit of wilful stupidity and stubbornness.

Climb a tree, they said

The nearest trees to me what the time were, actually, really tall; pines, probably 80 or 100 years old. To climb these things needs some practice, skill and also the stones, man. Astaroth doesn't want any dropnuts in her crew.

To climb them to the top – where the branches are flimsy enough to actually be cut with a single blow – means getting quite high. If the operator falls, they will probably not experience a good outcome.

In the southern hemisphere, following this as written means trekking around in the woods in the winter, which was bracing.

The South winds blast straight up from Antarctica, and the trees move, too. Trees move a lot, in the wind. You really notice this when you're in them. They also grow in spirals, which is a completely different insight. I developed a whole new appreciation for trees.

I tested this in mid-Summer too, as perhaps the author intended. This work led to spending a lot of time in the woods – and at the peak of Summer provided completely different experience.

Wandering around, chanting the extremely powerful Orison of the Salamanders, I experienced the sense of every living thing rejoicing in it's elemental empire, and burning with aspiration towards the Sun itself.

Backdoor low-Platonism, church skulking, priestcraft

This engagement with this process allowed me to get what JSK called the “low Platonism” of the grimoires, and set up the ground plan of an experimental and experiential world system – that, most importantly – is grounded in my insight.

Also, modern churches in my town don't have places to stash an ash-stained, poorly varnished wooden box. I did get to visit a lot of churches, though – so there is an element of comparative theological instruction here too.

This inability necessitated becoming a priest myself, learning Pyramidos and doing my own damn mass, but this is another story, with its own ludicrous tangents.

Grimoires have a range of challenges, and when approached directly, as a set of direct instructions, trigger insights in completely unexpected ways.

They're much more than a way to call spirits – they can make the operator into someone who spirits will respond to when called.

Passion is my engine of go.

Non sequitur:

---

#art

In the silence

It’s strange how there can be an overall atmosphere – even when people aren’t talking. It can extend beyond our place and pervade between places more broadly.

Things happen and it all contributes to the entire feel of the server. Weaving itself in and out of each room and message box.

Sometimes a lot happens or a key event, and there is a knock on effect.

A Poem by Unity

You think I can’t hear you? In the silence, over there? You think I don’t hear you, when you cry in despair?

You think I can’t hear you if you judge, scoff or sneer? Trust me I hear you, you are loud & clear.

I can hear you when you’re sad, restless, busy or calm. I can hear when you don’t care, or when life does you harm.

& even in silence when no words are said. Believe me, I hear you in the space in my head

I hear the frustration, the boredom, the rage, I hear all your sorrow, the struggles for real

So remember my dear one, in this big old wide space, that your anguish & fears all belong in this place.

I hear you in the silence, and the noise, and the words. That somewhere my darling your voice is still heard.

Somewhere in this world, as we fly round the sun, I hear you, I hear you, & I see you’re someone.

Remember, remember, your voice will be heard, & even in silence I can still hear your words.

So listen, now, listen, as I say this to you. You’re someone worth hearing & I’m thankful for you

1. Deep End by Ali Hazelwood, 457p: I love Ali Hazelwood books, it's the only author I truly enjoy in contemporary romance. This one is about college athletes, a competitive diver (Scarlett Vandermeer) and an Olympic medal swimmer (Lukas Blomqvist). I loved the smart banter between them and how there was a lot of talk and support around mental health issues. Also, it starts with mostly a sexual relationship, and the romance builds after that.  It explores power exchange sexual dynamics, and I thought it was interesting to see the connection between the drive for these power dynamics and subjective experiences. I love how this author takes romance a step further with lots of emotional depth.

2. Once Upon a Winter's Eve (Spindle Cove #1.5) by Tessa Dare, 120p: This a novella in the Spindle Cove series and I thought it was okay. It a second chance type romance between with an identity mystery that is quickly revealed (and obvious!) in the book. I didn't like that the male character (Christian) felt so entitled to her (Violet) and initially ignored her feelings.

3. The Vor Game (Vorkosigan Saga (Publication Order) #6) by Lois McMaster Bujold, 346p: Another one in the Vorkosigan series that is super fun to read. It's a mix of great fast paced writing, absurdly fun plots, and excellent character development. Miles Vorkosigan is such an awesome character, I read this book because of him. He just can't help getting into trouble, even though he tries to stay away from it sometimes. In this one Miles is sent to a cold remote military base where he acts as the weather man, but of course shenanigans happen that gets him back at the center of political/military intrigues and the mercenary fleet he once was part of.  It's great fun full of twists and turns.

4. What Fresh Hell is This? Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You—a Guide by Heather Corinna, 332p: I enjoyed how the book maintained a light, humorous tone while still being honest and informative.  The chapters covering symptoms, issues, and expected changes were dense, requiring me to take breaks between reading sessions. It did feel a bit repetitive in the middle. But the author does an excellent job of explaining all the terms and concepts and being compassionate and thoughtful.  For anyone navigating perimenopause or menopause, the book can feel overwhelming at times. In summary, I loved the final message of the book which is to practice “extreme self-care”. All good advice in general: have a healthy diet, exercise, meditate, do yoga, journal, or engage in whatever makes you feel good. Simplify your life, reduce responsibilities, and communicate your experiences with those around you. It's not fun, but we will get to the other side. I felt seen and the book helped me let go of preconceptions about this phase of life.

—

Post 78/100 of 100DaysToOffload challenge (Round 2)!

#100DaysToOffload #100Days #readinglist #books #reading

Prayers, etc.: * 04:30 – Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel * 06:00 – praying The Angelus * 07:10 – praying the Joyful Mysteries of the Traditional Holy Rosary in English, followed by the Memorare. * 07:30 – making an Act of Contrition then making an Act of Spiritual Communion, followed by praying Archbishop Vigano’s prayer for USA & President Trump. * 07:45 – Readings from today's Mass include – Lesson: 3 Kings 3:16-28 and Gospel: John 2:13-25. * 08:00 – Today's Morning Devotion (Psalm 50) as found in Benedictus Magazine, followed by the Canticle of Zacharius (Lk 1:68-79). * 09:10 – Thought for today from Archbishop Lefebvre: We have to examine ourselves to know in what sector of our activity we are not masters of ourselves. And we can notice it when we do things that are against the will of God. Sometimes, unfortunately, those things are by our own consent. * 12:00 – praying The Angelus * 13:30 – prayerfully reading The Athanasian Creed, * 18:00 – praying The Angelus, followed by today's Evening Devotion, (Psalm 120), as found in Benedictus Magazine, followed by the Magnificat: Luke 1:46-55. * 19:00 – praying the hour of Compline for tonight according to the Traditional Pre-Vatican II Divine Office, followed by Fr. Chad Ripperger's Prayer of Command to protect my family, my sons, my daughter and her family, my granddaughters and their families, my great grandchildren, and everyone for whom I have responsibility from any demonic activity. – And that followed by the Monday Prayers of the Association of the Auxilium Christianorum.

Health Metrics: * bw= 223.0 lbs. * bp= 148/89 (63)

Diet: * 06:10 – bowl of oatmeal and raisins * 07:00 – 1 fresh banana, several HEB Bakery cookies * 09:45 – garden salad * 11:10 – snacking on crackers and peanut butter * 15:30 – bowl of cooked meat and vegetables, white bread

Chores, etc.: * 05:00 – listen to local news talk radio * 05:40 – bank accounts activity monitored * 08:30 -follow news from various sources * 09:30 – start my weekly laundry * 13:45 – listening to relaxing music while folding laundry * 17:00 – tuned into the Texas Rangers Pregame Show ahead of their game tonight with the Cincinnati Reds

Chess: * 09:40 – moved in all pending CC games

posted Monday, 2025-03-31 ~20:00 #DLMAR2025

A quietly productive Monday. Took care of my weekly laundry, which is the one chore I reserve for Mondays. Hauled the brown trash bin out to the curb in time for its pickup, my other weekly Monday chore. Kept up with my daily prayers and my correspondence chess games. That's enough for a Monday.

posted Monday, Mar 31, 2025 at ~7:47 PM #QNMAR2025

I find myself back at the funeral home today. The flowers in the corner are plastic and the drywall is beginning to crack ever so slightly at the ceiling joint. The table where we meet, a very nice table, is cluttered with binders of options and details about my father-in-laws life.

I am advising my wife and her sister and mother on the signing of the documents that will officially close the final chapter of life by this man she called dad.

What a surreal job—to sit with people every day all day who are just upside down with grief over their loss. The only comfort they can offer is to make the last rite of their loved one as flowery and shiny as possible.

With my sister-in-law, it was a 40 minute visit, in and out. Today is shaping up to be north of two hours. Caskets, embalming, digging and filling holes.... It all takes a lot of time when you aren't just cremating someone. And a lot of money. This non-elaborate burial will be just north of $10,000—almost exactly what the burial insurance policy my mother-in-law purchased will cover. It is entertaining watching her be slightly rabid with the funeral director over a minor policy point. No dollar spent unnecessarily if she can help it.

Finally, flowers chosen, casket decided and plot approved, we wrap necessary business with my wife's family and I think of my own.

I went to see my grandparents grave. I haven't visited since I delivered her graveside eulogy nine years ago. Before that, I had only visited in 2011 when I did the same for my grandfather. I don't recall a lot about either occasion, except getting choked up talking bout my grandmother's favorite song... something about a roller-skate and a key and at my grandfather's, I recall his coffin being draped in an American flag. Or maybe it was just folded on top. As a veteran of 3 wars, the military side of the family insisted on it and my grandmother was never a hardliner on those kinds of things. I had forgotten where their graves were located, but the cemetery guy knew just where to point his boney finger after consulting his ledger.

It's just a place in an empty field of dry, brittle grass and stubby mesquite trees. Easy to overlook and no different than almost any other field in the part of the country, so I suppose it's the raw emotion at the recent losses in my life that welled up in me when I saw my grandparents headstone. I had forgotten that the marker they chose is rose marble with their names, date of birth, date of marriage and my grandfathers date of death. According to the headstone, my grandmother is still out there raising heck.

When asked, my mother explains that it's a financial argument. My grandparents prepaid their entire burial, including the bronze roses my cousins collected and the aforementioned joint headstone, sans Feb 8, 2016.

When my family called the headstone maker, the company loopholed the obligation to come and have the date of death carved into the appropriate spot. The carver wants $800, but my family insists they fulfill their contract. I guess this is a Scots-Irish standoff? One thing for certain—my grandparents don't care.

I smile when reminded their anniversary was on Valentines day. That famously romantic date that really doesn't mean anything special to people really in love. But for Helen and Alfred, it always did mean something special. My own anniversary is in early January and I think how their celebrations, like ours, were likely always when it's cold. How wise it seems in the dark of January, that some dear to me chose July to start their lives together. While we seek warmth, they seek the cold. If only we could trade temperatures just for a day.

I suppose, in the end, it makes no difference. On a long enough timeline, all of our anniversaries are in the cold. At least today they are. My grandparents are joined in death as they were in life. My father-in-law lies in wait. Will his teenage bride join him there? Or will this world change drastically for the better before she can.

May all of your anniversaries be filled with love and laughter. And may you never have to taste the sting of death.

---

#essay #death

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I seem to vaguely recall having a print newspaper subscription in the early years of my marriage (it's our 20th anniversary this summer). I think it was just a Sunday-paper-only subscription mainly for the coupon section. And the comics, of course. But we eventually cancelled our newspaper subscription like most everyone else, because why pay for a clunky print paper when you can just check the news for free via the Internet any time you want? Well, things have changed a lot since then. I've changed a lot. And I've felt for a few years now that I'd rather get my news via good old-fashioned newspaper again for a number of reasons.

Things Have Changed

Internet news was much different 20 years ago. There were ads, but they were not intrusive. If there was any tracking, it was page views and other general stats, not individual user behavior and preferences. And the website layouts were more text-oriented and less image-oriented, so more information was visible without having to scroll or click.

I'll show you an example from from KSL.com, one of Utah's most popular news websites. For the purposes of this comparison, I used Microsoft Edge with the screen maximized on a 1080p monitor. Average maximum resolutions for computer monitors in 2006 were indeed smaller, but I want you to see what it would be like to view a news website built to 2006 standards using modern technology.

Here's how KSL.com looked on June 19th, 2006 (thank you, archive.org!):

I'll zoom in so you can see the content better for this example.

Note the ads, their size, and their placement. In the header at the top I see an ad for a radio show, but it's to the far right of the page. There's a small ad for another radio show below the weather bubble. There is one large graphic ad, but it's to the right of all the important info. There is an “Affiliate Center” section below the graphic ad. And if you look really hard, you can see a “Sponsored Links” section at the bottom of the stock report bubble. The rest of the page is actual news content.

In addition to having a detailed menu at the top, I can see complete headlines of 7 news stories with a small photo or graphic and text blurb for each of them. I see current weather, stock market info, a link to the news site's road traffic page, a “Recipe of the Day” link, and few more links to other stories. All of this without having to scroll.

And due to the reading-friendly layout, you can easily skim the left side of the page and ignore the rest if you want.

Now let's take a look at KSL.com as of March 31st, 2025. I turned off my ad blocker extension for this example.

Immediately, you can't help but notice they have a featured sponsor today. Surely this is what you want to see when you go to a news website, right? Look at how much screen real estate the ad space takes up! HUGE banners on either side of the main content section, and a massive ad that spans the length of the entire content section. The amount of space devoted to ads is as much or more than the amount of space devoted to news, but the news space doesn't even have as much info as its 2006 counterpart.

They still have a menu at the top of the page, albeit with fewer options than in 2006. Less weather info. No stock info. They're not advertising their radio or TV programs, though. It's maybe less cluttered overall? But that means less useful info visible. Of the 5 news stories you can see, all of them have photos and headlines, but only 2 of them have text blurbs.

If you want to see more news, you're going to have to work for it. And that's what they want. The more you scroll, the more ads they can show you and the more money they make.

With an ad blocker the experience is much better, but it still makes you scroll more to see the info.

Granted, this is just one example from one website. Surely some news sites look better or worse in the past or today. But I think this is a good illustration of the trend, in general over the past 20 years. Some news websites today are practically unusable without an ad blocker.

Of course, some websites don't even let you view the content with an ad blocker enabled. You'll get a nasty pop-up message that hides everything and demands that you disable your ad blocker. Sometimes there are ways around this – switching to your web browser's Reader view, for example. But more and more websites are making it impossible to view their content unless they are allowed to serve you ads which track everything you do.

Or they just make you pay them. A number of news websites have resorted to putting their content behind subscription paywalls. Ad blocker or not, you can't view their content unless you pay up. And then they can still attempt to serve ads and track you.

Why Things Changed

The reason I chose to show you an example of a news website from 2006 is because that was before the first iPhone went on the market in 2007. The iPhone changed everything, some things for the better, other things for the worse. As soon as tech and media companies realized how addictive smartphones can be, they intentionally started engineering their products and services to be both “mobile friendly” and to steal as much of your attention as possible. Their intent is to hijack your attention so that you view as many ads as possible and, therefore, purchase as much stuff as possible.

Today's news cycle is 24/7. News websites rotate clickbait headlines throughout the day so that every time you check their site, there's a chance you'll see something “fresh” and new that you didn't last time. Sometimes they show flashy videos to grab attention. That's the same intermittent rewards tactic that makes gambling so addictive. It triggers a dopamine hit in your brain every time you “win” – all the social media, news, game, and media apps make use of this to hook you. Your phone is a slot machine. And now, potentially, so is every internet-connected device.

Done with Doomscrolling

I've noticed that my mental health suffers when I am compulsively checking the news throughout the day. Not only is it addictive, but it seems like the news has become more sensational, darker. Outrage gets views and clicks.

I want to stay informed, but I don't want to be tempted to check the news throughout the day, and I want to protect my mental health. I want to be more intentional about it and check it at certain times under tightly controlled conditions. In my case, I feel I need to stop navigating to news websites altogether and replace that habit with a physical newspaper which is only delivered to me twice a week.

I also plan to make use of RSS to keep up with a handful of specialized news sites and blogs that don't offer print editions and check my RSS reader only during a specified time once or twice a week.

I took advantage of a sweet deal today on a print subscription – $36 for 26 weeks of Deseret News. It includes two newspapers per week, five issues of Deseret Magazine, weekly editions of The Church News (which is news about my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), and electronic editions of everything (which I do not plan to use unless there is a specific article I want to share with someone).

Aside from the sweet deal, another reason I chose Deseret News is that it falls right in the middle of the political bias scale and solidly within the “More Reliable” range on the Ad Fontes Media Bias Chart. So the idea is that it should provide reliable coverage and balanced perspective.

It's my hope that at the very least, the next 6 months will serve as a “reset” for me when it comes to how I get my news. If I choose to end my print newspaper subscription down the road, I'll make every attempt to be intentional and careful about how I get my news via the Internet after that.

I'm done with doomscrolling.

#tech #news #media #internet #health

Hello, my Friends!

Have you ever stood outside a popular venue, watching anxiously as the bouncer decides who gets in and who doesn't? Perhaps you've felt that same anxiety about heaven—wondering if you're “good enough” to make the cut when your time comes. The wonderful truth of the gospel is that heaven doesn't operate like an exclusive club with a stern doorkeeper checking a list of your good deeds!

The Myth of Heaven's Bouncer

Many believe that entrance to heaven requires meeting certain standards—enough prayers said, enough good works performed, or enough sins avoided. This view portrays God as a divine bouncer, scrutinising your life record to determine if you're worthy of admission. But this misconception contradicts the very essence of grace!

Romans 5:8 tells us that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” The price for your admission wasn't dependent on your performance but was fully paid by Jesus on the cross. The cover charge for heaven—which none of us could afford—has been completely settled.

Jesus: The Door, Not the Doorkeeper

Jesus didn't come to stand guard at heaven's entrance; He became the entrance itself! In John 10:9, Jesus declares, “I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved.” This beautiful truth shows us that Christ isn't evaluating our worthiness; He's offering Himself as the way in.

This aligns perfectly with what Jesus accomplished through His sacrifice. He didn't establish a new set of requirements; He fulfilled all requirements on our behalf. Hebrews 10:14 confirms this: “For by one offering He has perfected forever those who are being sanctified.”

Walking Right In Through Faith

If Jesus paid it all and is Himself the door, how do we enter? Simply by faith! Ephesians 2:8-9 makes it clear: “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”

Faith is not a complex system of religious duties. It's trusting that Christ's sacrifice is sufficient—that when He said, “It is finished” on the cross, He meant it. Your salvation doesn't depend on what you bring to the table but on what Christ has already done.

Living in the Freedom of Acceptance

Understanding that heaven's gates don't have a bouncer liberates us to live from acceptance rather than for acceptance. We don't strive to earn God's favour; we live from the position of already having it through Christ.

This truth transforms how we approach God. We come boldly before Him, not because we've earned the right, but because Jesus secured it for us. As Hebrews 4:16 encourages, “Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

The gospel is not about striving to be good enough—it's about resting in the One who is good enough and who invites us to freely enter through Him.

Be blessed today, my friends, as you walk confidently through the door that Jesus has permanently opened for you!

To watch a short clip on this, check this out! https://youtube.com/shorts/by6955FB6xY?feature=share

Tinawag mo ako sa kalapayan Sinundan kita Hiniling mo ang aking balat Iniladlad ko Pinisil mo ang aking ugat Ikinimpi ko

Tinanong mo ako: “Ano ang kapalit ng aking pag-ibig? Handa ka ba na inumin ang aking dugo, Mangisay sa sakit, at mawalan ng kulay ang buhay?”

Sinta, handa ako.