no good place you could kill yourself in dublin / no good place ye can kill yeself in dublin

it’s flat and there’s no cliffs / the luas doesn’t run that late

the buildings don’t go that high / and i don’t want to bother the street cleaners anyways

in the Bay it’s just the end stop / while it’s greater here in Éire

i can impale myself on the deteriorating ice with a hockey stick / can’t really do that much with the spire

someone spit on my hockey bag in dublin / perhaps i look too much like a fag for dublin

the high school hockey finals are on / some fucking gaelic sport i don’t care about is on

but the bodies are similar / it reminded me of the locker room

it hurt / it hurt / it hurt / it hurt

I'm glad I'm mostly a radio guy. My vision right now and for God only knows how long is off the wall wonky following the eyeball injections a few hours ago from my retina doc. Reading right now is too difficult to manage, TV watching is a painful exercise in frustration, but I can listen to the radio just fine. Tuned in now to Yankees Radio WFAN 101.9 for the pregame show then the call of this afternoon's MLB Game between the New York Yankees and the San Francisco Giants.

And the adventure continues.

Kahi and Lua: Tales of the First and Second

Melissa Llanes Brownlee, 2022

A novella in flash fiction chapters about Hawai'ian gods living in late-stage capitalism. Kahi, the chaotic destroyer, and Lua, the philosophical creator.

Through keen observations of modern life and immortality, Brownlee uses the characters to reflect on the beauty and sadness of existence. Far from dour though, the stories are funny and use sly pop culture commentary.

Both the length of the book and vignettes show how wisdom can be conveyed with an economy of words. The characters are fully formed in twenty-nine short stories. By story's end, the reader is both primed and gobsmacked by its finality.

Read it.

#books #flashfiction #novellainflash #mythology #drabble

Our Father Who art in Heaven Hallowed be Thy name Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven Give us this day our daily Bread And forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil

Amen

Jesus is Lord! Come Lord Jesus!

Come Lord Jesus! Christ is Lord!

Securing Some Rain

And scarcity hold Between us forever, Fortune in the news And way done to remorse Substance blue we would subscribe And wearing our hats for often Distance in our way that would be Russian I make no menu secure, but to measure I trust Sincere to neighborhoods apprised Sympathy hold to our ruin I am here in faith and stand corrected Too close to pasture for one regret The season of rain is here And I will surely slip As desert can see And there is fuel on this ship Sending stateside enigma Redeeming one neighbour and sending right A cue for our hammock and gunboats Widely raking wear And extra to our everything The greatest water unbelied And sinkable news in trust The order of news and behaviour On time as before, And choking gravity Our peaceful fen Commit us to this ruin And I will eat the Earth

Like Old Times

A behest in nightfall upon we set Lighting days to empress one Fortunes call And winning this May In touch of brain The chill and time of change If we were the amount,- A piece of grand reunion Isn’t it swell The pair of swans alert And fortresses of then And steering flight to Rome We are sun at rest Watching what we hear For grand alignment news Singing of the ordinary Enhancing once to Sisson- the place of rule At Man’s behest til June Wondrous be thy hat And falling Water regret The Earth is honest at its tides Seeing heart And winning Monique’s best The fordham of our pair Til ‘89 repeats.

In the season when the wind moved through the dry grass like a whisper through old thoughts, a seeker came to the teacher and said, “Master, the world will not stay still. My mind runs after its thousand forms. Tell me what is true.”

The teacher said, “Hold only to this: I am. Do not follow what you are, what you were, what you may become. Do not chase the colors of the mind or the market of the world. Stay with the naked fact: I am.”

The seeker obeyed. Days passed like clouds. Pleasures came and broke. Sorrows came and broke. Memories rose like smoke. Hopes flashed like fish beneath the water and vanished. He returned again and again to the one unornamented truth: I am.

At first he held it as a lamp against darkness.

Then he held it as a refuge from the storm.

Then he held it because all else had shown itself to be passing.

After a long while he came again to the teacher and said, “When I rest in I am, I feel nearer to what does not move. Yet still I feel it here, inside, as though it were a flame hidden in the cave of the body.”

The teacher laughed softly and pointed to the mountains, to the river, to a dog sleeping in the dust, to a child crying for its mother, to the sun caught in a broken shard of glass.

“Who told you it is inside?” he said. “You have put the sky in a jar and called the jar your self. Break the jar.”

The seeker trembled and said, “How?”

The teacher answered, “See clearly. The body is seen. The mind is seen. The world is seen. Do not divide the seen into inner and outer. Remain with I am until even its location is burned away.”

So the seeker went and remained.

One evening, as light thinned across the fields, the knot gave way.

He looked upon a tree and did not find something other. He looked upon the road, the insect, the far hill reddened by dusk, and saw that what he had called “outside” was not outside at all. The same living presence by which he knew his own being shone equally there. The world had not become holy; it had been unable to be anything else.

Then he understood: I am was not a thought in the body. It was the radiance of the present itself. It was not enclosed by skin. It was the face of all things. The river was it flowing. The stone was it resting. Fire was it dancing. Grief was it veiled. Joy was it unveiled.

He returned to the teacher with tears, but not of sorrow.

The teacher said, “Speak.”

The seeker said, “I sought I am as a man seeks a jewel lost in his house. But the house was inside the jewel. What I took to be my little candle is the light of the world. I do not look out at creation; I look upon my own limitless being in its countless forms. The body and mind are a colored pane. The world and person are one beam made manifold, like white light entering a prism. The One appears as this point of view, yet is never confined to it.”

The teacher said, “This is the dawn.”

The seeker bowed and said, “Then who am I?”

The teacher replied, “You are Shiva, not apart from Shakti. You are the stillness that appears as all movement. You are the whole wearing a face. When the body-mind is known as part of the universe, and the universe is known as your very Self, the false marriage of ‘me’ and ‘world’ ends. Then the true marriage is complete.”

And the seeker sat in silence.

The wind moved.

The stars appeared.

No boundary was found.

Lydia's Weekly Lifestyle blog is for today's African girl, so no subject is taboo. My purpose is to share things that may interest today's African girl.

This week's contributors: Lydia, Pépé Pépinière, Titi. This week's subjects: Own Your Corporate Style, This year’s Met Gala will be on 4th May, What is white washing? and Patrone Lounge Alisa Hotel Accra

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Own Your Corporate Style. The 2026 corporate Accra girl is confident, vibrant, and unapologetically bold. This is not your grandma's office look! Embrace the colours that make you feel powerful and creative, and don't be afraid to experiment with textures and accessories. The modern corporate wardrobe isn’t just about looking professional — it’s about expressing your personality and telling the world who you are through your style.  Soft Neutrals with a Bright Accent: While bold colours are on the rise, soft neutrals are not going anywhere. But in 2026, the secret is in how you accessorize. Think soft creams, taupes, and cool grays, but with a bright, unexpected pop. Maybe a bold turquoise clutch or an electric pink pair of shoes? It’s the perfect way to stay grounded while keeping things fresh and fun.    Why it works: A neutral base allows your personality to shine through with the addition of one or two bold, unexpected accents. It’s the ultimate mix of timeless style and trend-forward thinking. Style tip: If you're wearing a soft taupe dress or suit, pair it with bright shoes or a patterned scarf in a striking colour, like hot pink or electric blue. A fun bag with some texture (maybe some beading or metallic touches) will add that little extra flair! This year’s Met Gala will be on 4th May. Held annually as a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute in Manhattan, southeastern New York State in the United States, the Met Gala is a haute couture fashion event like no other, it is considered by many to be the world’s most important and glamorous fashion event. Every year the event celebrates a specific theme. Attendees, who make a contribution of $75,000 per seat, will embrace high fashion and creativity with outfits in accordance with this year’s theme, costume art. Guests are to treat fashion as a living artistic expression, highlighting the body as a canvas for creativity. So expect a bit of flesh (whilst most would do better by keeping things covered). Jeff Bezos, owner of Amazon and his wife Lauren are one of the sponsors, and what she wears will make waves. Mark Zuckerberg and his wife showed up at the Milan fashion week, an interesting competition coming up here. We haven’t seen Musk at fashion shows yet, but his estranged daughter actually walked for Gucci in Milan. Just pray that Trump does not stick his nose inside like he did with the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts by renaming it after himself and then no one showed up and he had to close it for “renovations”.

What is white washing? And I am not referring to Omo. Let me explain. Let’s assume I am a big time drug dealer and I end up with a million dollar cash under my mattress. If I take it to the bank they will ask where this money came from, they are obliged to ask. And it leaves a trace, banks keep records for centuries. Again, if I buy a building someone may ask from where all that cash, or later someone may ask how I got all that cash to buy that building, my tax records show no such income. If I want to go into politics, during the vetting it may become a problem. So I need to find a way to make this dirty money clean. I open a boutique, and every day I happily write invoices for about 20,000 GHC sales, whilst no one bought anything, and I bring that cash to the bank. They will even congratulate me on my successful business. At the end of the year the taxman will assess this profit and I have to pay 25% tax. Add the cost of running the shop and the girl in it, all in all I lose about 30 %. But now my money is perfectly legal, 1,000,000 $ dirty money has become 700,000 $ clean money. This issue is very widespread in Ghana, I have even heard young men singing their song “we are the whiiiiiite washers”, and I have seen girls posting “I wished my boyfriend was a white washer, I’d just go to the shop 30 minutes a day and for the rest watch movies”. And not only boutiques can wash, eateries, hotels, what not. The Government does not seem to mind very much, they get that tax of 25%, and maybe a little gift to keep their eyes a bit closed. The down side is that Ghana is becoming a narco state thriving on drugs transits, white washing, internet fraud, what not. And if you really want to run a boutique you are competing with someone who does not sell clothes but washes money, and who does not care how much they sell their dresses. So honesty does not pay any more, rather this illegal business is destroying the honest business. It is serious, for example the traditional real estate people who built half of Accra currently cannot pay off their bank loans, their buildings are empty, rents are down, because my clean 700,000 $ went into a building, better and safer than in a bank, and I don’t care if it is profitable.

Patrone Lounge Alisa Hotel Accra 21 Dr. Isert Road, North Ridge, Accra, is a good place if you want to have a quick quiet meeting and be a bit out of sight. A soda water cost 20 GHC, fresh orange juice is 35. They serve groundnuts and plantain chips with it so you can nibble whilst you talk. Service is correct.

Lydia...

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There is a strange thing about modern life that a lot of people do not notice until years have already passed. We live in a time that talks constantly about success, freedom, speed, growth, opportunity, reach, ambition, and building something larger than ourselves, yet many people quietly miss some of the most sacred parts of life while chasing what they were told would matter more. They do not always miss those things because they are cruel or careless. Many of them are trying hard. Many of them are carrying pressure. Many of them are working, providing, planning, striving, and doing what they believe responsible adults are supposed to do. But somewhere in the middle of all of that movement, there is often a child in the room who is asking for something much simpler and much deeper. That child is not asking for a perfect future. That child is not asking for the biggest possible life. That child is not asking to be raised inside a constant performance of greatness. Very often, what that child is asking for is your nearness, your time, your attention, your warmth, your listening, your patience, your laughter, and the kind of presence that cannot be replaced later with apologies, gifts, or explanations. That is why the subject matters so much. Spend time with your kids is not a small statement. It is not soft advice for sentimental people. It is a call back to one of the deepest responsibilities and one of the deepest privileges a human being can ever be given.

A child changes the scale of your life in ways the world does not know how to measure. Before parenthood, many people still imagine life mainly in terms of what they want to build, where they want to go, what they want to become, what they want to prove, and how they want to be seen. Then a child arrives, and suddenly there is another life close enough to touch that does not care about your image in the way adults care about image. A child is not impressed by the same things the world is impressed by. A little child does not care whether your title sounds important. A little child does not care whether strangers envy your schedule. A little child does not care whether your day looked productive according to some outside standard. That child wants to know something much more human than that. Are you here. Are you warm. Are you safe. Are you paying attention. Do I matter to you. That can feel almost too simple to be profound, but it is profoundly important. A child’s heart is being shaped long before that child can explain what is happening in words. The atmosphere around them is teaching them things every day. The tone of home is teaching them things every day. Your presence or your absence is teaching them things every day. The question is not whether you are teaching. The question is what your life is teaching without having to say it out loud.

One of the saddest mistakes people make is assuming they can always give the heart later what they are refusing to give it now. They think there will be a better season for closeness. They think when work settles down, when money improves, when stress eases, when the house is in better shape, when the family is a little older, when life is less demanding, then they will finally be more present. But life almost never clears itself in the way people imagine it will. Pressure changes shape. Problems change shape. Responsibilities change shape. The next thing always arrives. The later that looked so available in your imagination often shows up already crowded with something else. Meanwhile, childhood keeps moving. Quietly. Relentlessly. A child does not stay the same age while you figure your life out. A child does not remain waiting on the shelf of your future until you feel fully ready to be engaged. That child is changing in front of you right now. The little voice changes. The face changes. The fears change. The joys change. The questions change. The way they reach for you changes. The way they look at you changes. The years do not pause because you are busy. They keep going. That is why present love matters so much. It is not because every moment must be dramatic. It is because this exact season is never coming back again in the same form.

The world has a way of talking about parenting that drains the wonder out of it. You hear so much language about how hard it is, how expensive it is, how tiring it is, how limiting it is, how chaotic it is, how much freedom it takes away, and while there is some truth in the fact that raising children stretches every part of a person, something is lost when that becomes the dominant voice. The result is that many people begin to speak as though children are mostly burdens with a few cute moments mixed in. That is not the whole truth. In many cases, it is not even the deepest truth. The deeper truth is that children bring life into a home. They bring movement into places adults had turned into systems. They bring laughter into rooms that had become too serious. They bring questions into hearts that had become too fixed. They bring wonder back into schedules that had become too mechanical. They have a way of making people stop and see things again that they would normally walk past. A bug on the sidewalk can become an event. A cloud can become a story. A puddle can become a world. A simple bedtime routine can become one of the holiest parts of the day. A child can make you remember that existence is not only about speed, output, utility, and getting through another week. There is something almost prophetic about the way a child reminds an adult that life is also meant to be seen, held, enjoyed, and inhabited.

That is one reason spending time with your kids is so much more than a duty. It is also an invitation. It invites you back into a slower kind of seeing. It invites you back into the kind of love that does not always announce itself with grand gestures. It invites you back into ordinary moments where the heart is being formed in ways you cannot fully measure while they are happening. When you sit with your child, listen to a story that makes no sense, answer a strange question, watch them explain something with total seriousness, laugh over something tiny, or hear the same favorite book for the fiftieth time, you may feel like nothing grand is happening. Yet something deeply important is happening. Relationship is happening. Trust is happening. Safety is happening. Memory is happening. A child is learning that your attention can rest on them without irritation. A child is learning that they can bring their world to you and you will not always act like their world is too small to matter. That is not a trivial lesson. In fact, it may shape a great deal of how they understand love for years to come.

People often underestimate how much a child absorbs from the emotional texture of daily life. They imagine that what will shape the child most are the major events, the speeches, the rules, the large decisions, the crises, or the big celebrations. Those things matter, but so much of childhood is built from repetition rather than spectacle. It is built from the repeated feeling of what it is like to live near you. Do they experience you as open or closed. Do they sense that you enjoy them or merely manage them. Do they feel your affection as something steady or something scarce. Do they feel that their interruptions are always unwelcome, or do they know there are places where your attention softens toward them. A child may not be able to say any of that in clear language, but the soul keeps its own kind of records. The heart remembers atmospheres. The heart remembers whether home felt like a place where you could breathe. The heart remembers whether a parent’s presence felt like warmth or tension. That is why time matters so much. Your time tells a child what your priorities will not say directly. It tells them whether they are worth pausing for. It tells them whether they are worth listening to. It tells them whether love is available.

This becomes even more powerful when you look at it through the lens of faith. Scripture never presents God as cold, mechanical, or detached from His children. He is not described as a distant manager of souls who only deals in transactions and instructions. He is near. He is attentive. He hears. He comforts. He disciplines with purpose. He leads. He remains. One of the most beautiful things about the Christian faith is that God is not ashamed to reveal Himself with family language. He lets us call Him Father. That means fatherhood and parenthood are not merely biological realities. They carry spiritual meaning. Human parents do not represent God perfectly because no human being does anything perfectly, but they do have the opportunity to reflect something real about Him. When you are present with your child, truly present, you are showing them in earthly form a small picture of what it feels like to be noticed, received, and cared for. When you listen with patience, you are showing them something about attention that honors the soul. When you remain near in moments when it would be easier to pull away, you are reflecting something about faithful love. Children may not connect all those dots right away, but the life they feel around them becomes part of the material through which they later understand trust, comfort, safety, and even God.

Jesus Himself made it impossible for thoughtful Christians to dismiss children as background noise. In the Gospels, when children were brought near, He did not treat them as interruptions to the serious work. He did not act as though they were inconveniences that adults should keep out of sight until more important matters were finished. He welcomed them. He made room for them. He blessed them. He even used them to reveal truths about the kingdom that adults in their pride often missed. That should say something to every parent who feels pressure to think of time with their kids as secondary to more meaningful pursuits. It is not secondary. In many ways, it is closer to the heart of God than many of the things people call important. To be with children in love, patience, and truth is not a lesser life. It is not a wasted life. It is not time stolen from a meaningful future. It is part of how a meaningful future is built. It is part of how the heart learns to love as heaven loves, close enough to be touched and gentle enough to be trusted.

A great many adults are haunted later in life not by the fact that they spent too much time loving their families, but by the fact that they treated family like something that could always wait until after the more urgent thing was done. This is one of the cruel tricks of urgency. It convinces you that the visible pressure in front of you is the most important thing in the room. It tells you that the email cannot wait, the task cannot wait, the call cannot wait, the schedule cannot wait, the work cannot wait, the next achievement cannot wait. But what if some of the most important things in the room are exactly the things that do not scream. What if some of the most important things are the child who is simply hoping you will look up. What if some of the most important things are the ordinary chances to be emotionally available. What if some of the most important things are happening quietly in daily life where no one applauds and no one gives you public credit. The world gives awards for many things. It does not often give awards for sitting on the floor, listening to a little story, answering one more question, tucking in one more child, praying one more bedtime prayer, or pausing in the middle of your own concerns so your son or daughter feels fully received. Yet eternity sees differently than culture sees. Heaven has a way of recognizing glory in places the world calls small.

Parenthood is one of the few callings in life where you are asked to pour yourself into a person who may not understand the fullness of what you are doing until years later. That is part of what makes it so refining. It strips away some of the human hunger for quick visible reward. It forces you to love in ways that are often hidden. It teaches you that much of what matters most in life is built slowly and felt deeply rather than celebrated publicly. In that sense, parenthood can sanctify ambition. It can humble the ego. It can purify what a person thinks greatness really is. Before children, a person may imagine greatness as visibility, expansion, achievement, recognition, or influence. After walking closely with children, many people begin to see that greatness is often much quieter. Greatness is staying tender when life makes it easy to become hard. Greatness is remaining available when exhaustion tells you to disappear emotionally. Greatness is becoming the kind of presence a child can trust. Greatness is choosing to build something in another human heart that may never be fully visible to the world but will shape a life forever.

That is why children can become one of God’s most powerful tools for human transformation. They reveal things in adults that adults might have hidden from themselves for years. A child will expose impatience. A child will expose selfishness. A child will expose distraction. A child will expose whether your love is shallow, conditional, rushed, or real. But they also call something beautiful out of a person. They call out tenderness. They call out sacrifice. They call out creativity. They call out laughter. They call out the ability to become less self-centered. In the process, a parent is not only raising a child. In many ways, that child is also reshaping the parent. Not because the child is ruling the parent, but because love always changes the person who truly gives it. This is one reason some of the people who know the deepest joys of life are not the people who spent all their years preserving themselves from inconvenience. Very often, they are the people who let love demand something from them and discovered that what was given away in devotion came back as meaning.

There are ordinary moments in family life that carry more weight than outsiders can see. A child asking you to watch something simple can be one of those moments. It looks tiny. It may even seem repetitive. But what is really happening is not just that the child wants you to witness a small act. The child is saying, enter my joy with me. See what I am seeing. Let me feel that my world matters enough for you to step into it. When a parent responds with warmth, something powerful happens. The child does not merely feel observed. The child feels joined. Joy multiplies when someone important enters it with you. That is true for adults too, but children live much closer to that truth. They are constantly inviting the people they love into their little worlds. Every question, every story, every request to look, every urge to tell you something that seems minor is an invitation. To spend time with your kids is to keep accepting those invitations often enough that they know their inner world is not a lonely place.

At the same time, there is a deep blessing in how children pull adults back toward reality. Adults can become abstract. They can live in future plans, imagined problems, unending calculations, and inner pressure so constant that they stop inhabiting the life in front of them. Children do not live that way. They live near the present. They can grieve hard, yes, but they can also return to wonder quickly. They can ask enormous questions without embarrassment. They can treat small discoveries as if the world has just opened again. They can laugh with a kind of full-bodied sincerity that most adults have forgotten how to access. If a parent lets that affect them, children can become one of the ways God rehumanizes a person who has become too driven, too armored, or too numb. This does not mean children exist to heal every part of an adult. That is not their burden. It means that life with children can become a holy mirror. It shows you what you have lost contact with and offers you a way back through presence, humility, playfulness, and tenderness.

In a culture obsessed with optimization, it is easy to treat children like projects to manage. People speak constantly about development, milestones, strategy, enrichment, outcomes, and all the different ways they can make sure they are not falling behind in some invisible competition. There is wisdom in caring how children grow. There is nothing wrong with intentional guidance. But something goes very wrong when a child begins to feel more like a schedule than a soul. A child does not need to be endlessly optimized to feel loved. A child needs connection. A child needs to know they are more than a problem to solve or a future résumé to build. A child needs room to be human. They need room to fail without feeling like they have disappointed your image of who they were supposed to become. They need room to ask strange questions. They need room to feel safe being small. They need room to know that being with you does not always feel like being assessed. Spending time with your kids is one of the simplest ways to guard against turning parenthood into management instead of relationship. Time has a way of humanizing what systems can flatten.

One of the most encouraging truths in all of this is that children do not require perfection in order to flourish in love. That should lift a burden from many parents. There are mothers and fathers who hear messages about family and immediately feel accusation rising in them because they know where they have fallen short. They think of the times they snapped too quickly, the nights they were too distracted, the years they worked too much, the seasons when stress lived too close to the surface, or the many moments they now wish they could redo. Regret is real, and sometimes it serves a purpose if it leads to repentance and change. But endless shame does not build anything. It just paralyzes the heart. The encouraging truth is that children need sincerity more than performance. They need repentance when you are wrong. They need honesty. They need effort. They need warmth. They need patterns of love that are real enough to trust. Even in imperfect homes, God can work powerfully through a parent who keeps turning back toward what matters. A home does not have to be flawless to become a place where grace is felt. In fact, one of the greatest gifts a parent can give is not the illusion of perfection, but the example of humility, repair, tenderness, and renewed intention.

That is especially important because many parents are carrying wounds from their own childhood into the present without even fully realizing how much those wounds shape the way they respond. Some grew up in homes where provision was present but affection was scarce. Some grew up around criticism that never softened. Some grew up in emotional distance so normal that closeness now feels unfamiliar. Some had parents who were physically there but inwardly absent. When people come from those places, they may love their children sincerely and still struggle to know how to live that love out consistently. This is where grace and awareness matter so much. You do not have to repeat every atmosphere you came from. You do not have to hand down the exact emotional climate that formed you. With God’s help, with honesty, and with intention, a person can begin creating a different kind of home. That is one of the great hopes of family life. Healing can move forward through generations, not only harm. Presence can interrupt absence. Warmth can interrupt coldness. Patient listening can interrupt patterns of dismissal. You can become, by grace, a safer place than the one you had.

But even when a parent has good intentions, there is still a battle for attention in every age, and perhaps especially in this one. Devices, schedules, alerts, responsibilities, and mental overload are always reaching for the mind. A person can be sitting beside a child physically while their attention is scattered across ten invisible places. Children can feel that. They know the difference between being near your body and having your heart with them. That is why spending time with your kids in this era requires real intention. It may require putting something down. It may require saying no to other demands. It may require creating moments where the phone is not the unseen third presence in every conversation. It may require learning again how to sit, listen, and enter the pace of a child without treating slowness as waste. This can feel difficult for adults who have trained themselves to live at a constant internal sprint, but it is part of love in a distracted age. Attention has become one of the clearest forms of generosity.

And there is joy in this that people sometimes miss because they are too busy framing everything as obligation. Yes, spending time with your kids is a responsibility, but it is also a delight. It is not only something you owe. It is something you get. You get to hear the way they think before the world teaches them to hide it. You get to watch them become themselves. You get to be there for the little breakthroughs no one else will care about as much. You get to become part of the stories they carry. You get to hear the prayers they whisper when they are still innocent enough to say things with total honesty. You get to watch courage grow where fear used to live. You get to watch humor emerge, personality emerge, compassion emerge, conviction emerge. To spend time with your kids is to witness becoming. That is a holy privilege. Many things in life can be impressive without being intimate. Parenting is intimate in a way the impressive parts of the world rarely are.

There is also something deeply grounding about the way family life teaches you to value what cannot be monetized. So much of life in the world is arranged around measurable outputs. People ask what counts, what scales, what pays, what expands, what produces visible results. Yet some of the most important things in family life are invisible for a long time. The trust you build may not show up in a report. The safety you create may not produce applause. The bedtime prayer you whisper may not look like productivity to anyone else. The conversation in the car may not seem like an accomplishment. But these things are shaping a person. They are becoming part of the emotional and spiritual architecture of a child’s life. That matters more than many visible achievements. One day, the world may not remember the tasks that once felt urgent, but a son or daughter may still be living from the strength or weakness of what was given in the home. That should not crush a parent with pressure. It should wake a parent to the dignity of ordinary faithfulness.

If this all sounds weighty, it is because parenthood carries real weight, but it is also because it carries real beauty. The weight is not meant to scare you away from the joy. In many cases, the weight is part of what reveals the joy’s value. Things that matter deeply often ask something from us. Marriage does. Friendship does. Calling does. Faith does. Parenthood does too. It asks your time. It asks your patience. It asks your emotional availability. It asks your willingness to be interrupted. It asks your willingness to care about a person who is still learning, still stumbling, still becoming. Yet those very demands can deepen a person’s life in ways comfort never could. The people who avoid all cost in order to preserve maximum ease often end up with lives that feel strangely thin. Meanwhile, the people who gave themselves away in love often carry a richness the world cannot explain. Parenthood can be one of those places where the soul discovers that inconvenience and beauty sometimes arrive holding hands.

There is a special kind of emptiness that can grow in a person who spends years treating what is sacred as if it were always available later. They do not usually feel that emptiness in the moment. In the moment, they feel busy. They feel justified. They feel necessary. They feel like they are handling life. But years later, when children are older and the house is quieter and the old routine has disappeared, many parents begin to understand what was really passing through their hands all along. They see that the constant requests for attention were not interruptions to life. They were life. They see that the little voices, the repeated stories, the endless questions, the silly games, the bedtime rituals, the school-day recaps, and the ordinary evenings were not the filler around the important things. They were some of the important things. This is one of the reasons it matters to speak about parenting in a hopeful but honest way. We need a voice strong enough to remind people that family life is not just another category in the schedule. It is one of the great places where love becomes real in the flesh. It is one of the great places where souls are strengthened, identities are shaped, and the heart of God can be mirrored through human presence.

Many people think they are mainly building a future for their children through provision, but children are also being shaped by what they experience in the present. A parent may work hard out of sincere love. A parent may carry heavy burdens because they want to protect their family. There is honor in that. Provision matters. Responsibility matters. Sacrifice matters. But children need more than supplied needs. They need relational nearness. They need moments where the parent is not only financing life but inhabiting it with them. A child does not simply need a roof. A child needs a home. A child does not simply need resources. A child needs memory, atmosphere, and trust. A child does not simply need structure. A child needs delight. These things do not cancel out provision. They complete it. They turn survival into relationship. They turn responsibility into love that can actually be felt. That is one reason some adults who grew up in materially stable environments still carry deep hunger in their hearts. They had what they needed externally, but they did not always feel known. The soul can be surrounded by things and still starve for warmth. This is why spending time with your kids is not some extra luxury for families who happen to have room for it. It is one of the core ways love becomes believable.

There is also a great difference between being around your children and being with your children. Many parents are in the house, but still far away in spirit. Their minds are somewhere else. Their emotions are compressed. Their patience is nearly gone before the child even begins to speak. Their body is present, but their heart is so occupied that the child learns to expect only fragments of them. Again, this is not always because the parent is uncaring. Sometimes it is because the parent is tired, wounded, overloaded, or running on fumes. But whatever the reason, children still feel the difference. They know when your attention lands on them with softness and when it lands with strain. They know when they are being invited close and when they are being endured. That is why one of the most powerful things a parent can offer is not constant proximity, but real presence. Five minutes of true presence can sometimes feed the heart more than an hour of distracted nearness. A child feels it when your eyes are open, your spirit is unguarded, and your attention is not competing with ten other invisible worlds. In that kind of moment, the child receives more than time. The child receives affirmation. The child receives the message that their inner life matters enough to enter.

This is one reason play matters more than adults often realize. Play is not trivial to a child. It is one of the languages through which they experience closeness, delight, creativity, and safety. When a parent enters play, even briefly, they are stepping into the child’s form of connection. They are saying, I am willing to meet you where you are. I am willing to enter your world instead of only asking you to live inside mine. That means a great deal. Adults are often tempted to treat play as the least important part of family life because it does not look productive. It does not appear to move measurable goals forward. Yet play is often one of the ways trust is built most naturally. In play, children reveal things. They expose fears, hopes, humor, personality, and imagination. They invite the parent into the landscapes of their mind. They show who they are becoming. A parent who will kneel on the floor, be silly for a while, laugh over nonsense, and enter the child’s rhythm is not wasting time. That parent is building closeness in a form the child can fully receive.

At the same time, spending time with your kids is not only about fun. It is also about guiding a life while the heart is still reachable. Children need joy, but they also need wisdom. They need affection, but they also need truth. They need freedom to laugh, but they also need the kind of relationship that allows correction to be received without always feeling like rejection. This is one of the hidden blessings of time. Time creates the relational depth that makes guidance possible. If a child only experiences a parent mainly as a source of commands, discipline, pressure, and correction, then even necessary truth can begin to feel harsh. But when there is warmth, shared life, listening, affection, delight, and steady presence, a different atmosphere is created. Then correction is more likely to be heard in the context of love. Then truth can travel on the rails of trust. Then a child knows, even in a hard moment, that the parent is for them and not merely frustrated with them. This is one reason time is never just time. It is the ground out of which so much else grows.

There is a phrase people sometimes use that a parent should make memories with their children. That is true, but many people misunderstand what a memory is. They imagine big trips, expensive experiences, major holidays, and specially planned moments. Those can be beautiful. But some of the strongest memories in life come from things that did not look large at all when they happened. They come from repeated bedtime prayers. They come from the feeling of a parent’s laughter. They come from songs in the car. They come from a certain kind of comfort when something went wrong. They come from a parent making ordinary life feel warm. They come from inside jokes, small traditions, and the tone of a parent’s love in unremarkable moments. Children do not always need a spectacular life in order to remember their childhood with gratitude. They need enough goodness in the atmosphere that home becomes associated with being loved. This should free many parents. You do not have to create some constantly dazzling childhood to bless your children deeply. You have to bring your real heart, your best intention, your listening, your patience, and your willingness to show up inside ordinary life.

This is especially meaningful in a world that is so emotionally fragmented. Many people grow up around divided attention, constant distraction, relational thinness, and affection that is less embodied than it once was. People send more messages but often share less presence. They communicate constantly but connect less deeply. Children are growing up inside that environment too, which means a parent’s focused attention may be even more precious than it once was. To sit with a child without hurry, without checking something else, without making them feel like they are competing with a device, a task, or an unseen pressure is becoming increasingly rare. That rarity makes it even more valuable. What the culture is losing in attention, loving parents have the opportunity to restore within the home. A parent can become one of the last places where a child consistently experiences what it feels like to be fully received. That matters more than many people know. In a fractured world, whole attention feels almost like healing.

The beauty of parenting is also tied to the way it draws a person into a deeper kind of service. Service in the kingdom of God is not always public. It is not always visible. It is not always the kind of thing other people notice or praise. In fact, some of the purest service happens in hidden places where no audience exists. Parenting is full of that. It is full of quiet acts no one sees, repeated choices no one applauds, and a thousand forms of giving that are quickly absorbed into the rhythm of everyday life. Yet hidden service is still holy service. There is no spiritual law that says something only matters if many people see it. Much of what Jesus praised in the Gospels was the kind of thing the world would walk past. The widow’s offering mattered. The cup of water mattered. The washing of feet mattered. The little child mattered. This should steady the heart of every parent who feels unseen. The labor of love in the home is not beneath the attention of God. He sees what no one else sees. He knows the prayers no one else hears. He recognizes the quiet faithfulness of a mother or father who keeps showing up, keeps softening, keeps caring, and keeps loving in hidden ways.

This hiddenness can actually become one of the ways parenting purifies a person’s understanding of worth. The world trains people to look for significance in attention and applause. It teaches them to ask whether their efforts are being recognized, whether their life looks impressive, whether their work receives visible validation. Parenthood challenges that whole framework. It teaches you to keep pouring into a life even when gratitude is immature, even when reward is delayed, and even when much of what you are doing looks unimpressive from the outside. That can be frustrating to the ego, but it can be life-giving to the soul. It teaches you to love for the sake of love itself. It teaches you to give without making everything about visible return. It teaches you that some of the richest fruit in life grows slowly, invisibly, and often below the line of public approval. There is something profoundly Christian about that. It reflects the way God Himself works in human lives. So much of His deepest work happens in secret before it ever becomes visible in public.

Another beautiful thing about spending time with your kids is that it gives you a chance to plant truths before the world plants stronger lies. Children are always absorbing messages. Culture is catechizing them all the time, whether parents realize it or not. Ideas about worth, beauty, strength, success, identity, love, and power are being offered everywhere. If a parent’s presence is thin, then the surrounding voices will often become louder in the child’s soul than the voice of home. But when a parent is near, listening, engaging, and building relationship, there is room for deeper formation. There is room for a child to hear what matters from someone who has earned trust through closeness. There is room for faith to be spoken naturally, not only in formal religious moments but in the texture of daily life. There is room for a child to see that Christianity is not merely a set of rules brought out on special occasions. It is a way of seeing, loving, forgiving, speaking, and living. This is one reason time is spiritually important. It creates room for transfer. Not just transfer of information, but transfer of tone, values, hope, and faith lived out in the ordinary.

For many parents, one of the most meaningful parts of time with their children is hearing what is really in them. A child will often reveal their heart in pieces. Not always in the exact moment you expect. Not always directly. Sometimes it comes out in a random question, a strange fear at bedtime, a small comment after school, a certain tone after they have been quiet for a while, or a moment of play that suddenly reveals more than the parent knew was there. Parents who are rushed past those moments may miss them. Parents who are emotionally available can often hear them. This is one reason presence matters so much. It helps a parent catch what a child is trying to show before the child even knows how to say it clearly. It allows a parent to see when something is stirring beneath the surface. It lets a child feel less alone in their inner life. That is a powerful gift. To be known is one of the deepest human needs. When a child begins learning early that there are safe places to be known, it strengthens the heart in ways that will matter far beyond childhood.

And yet, none of this means a parent must become heavy or overly serious all the time. Some of the greatest gifts a parent can offer are lightness, delight, humor, and playfulness. There are homes where children are cared for in practical ways but still feel emotionally burdened because everything is too tense, too controlled, too joyless, or too easily irritated. Children need some room to breathe. They need to know that life with you includes laughter. They need to know that affection is not rare. They need to know that joy belongs in the home. A parent who can smile, laugh, tease gently, and create moments of warmth is giving something deeply nourishing. Joy is not a small thing in a child’s life. Joy teaches them that goodness is real. Joy gives them resilience. Joy makes home feel like a place worth returning to in their memory. Some of the most beloved parents are not the ones who managed every detail flawlessly. They are the ones whose love had life in it.

That does not mean discipline has no place. It means discipline should live inside a larger atmosphere of love. Children need boundaries because love that never guides is not complete love. But guidance detached from relationship often produces resentment, fear, or distance. The goal is not to create a house with no correction. The goal is to create a house where correction is not the loudest thing. This is where time again becomes priceless. Time helps a child know the heart behind the correction. Time lets them experience the parent as more than a source of no. Time gives context. A child who is regularly enjoyed, listened to, prayed for, and treated with affection is more likely to receive hard truth without immediately feeling cast away by it. In this way, spending time with your kids is not separate from discipline. It is part of what makes discipline more human, more grounded, and more likely to serve the child’s actual good.

A great many parents live with quiet fear that they are not doing enough or not doing it well enough. That fear can become especially intense because there is so much information now and so many voices telling people what they should be doing. It is easy for a parent to feel measured from every angle. Yet one of the most stabilizing truths is that children are not looking for a technically flawless parent. They are looking for someone who keeps coming back in love. They are looking for sincerity. They are looking for steadiness. They are looking for someone whose care feels real. They are looking for a home where they are not always treated like a problem to solve. This should free parents to stop chasing impossible standards and start giving what matters most. If your child can feel your affection, your listening, your prayer, your warmth, your repentance when you are wrong, your willingness to repair after tension, and your delight in who they are, you are already giving things that many people spend years longing for.

This is why it is so important not to turn conviction into despair. Some parents hear messages like this and immediately start mentally replaying every failure. They feel accused rather than invited. But the purpose of this truth is not to crush. It is to awaken. There is still time to sit down. There is still time to listen more carefully. There is still time to ask better questions. There is still time to make prayer a warmer part of the home. There is still time to laugh more. There is still time to put something down for a while and pick your child up emotionally. There is still time to create little patterns of nearness that become a larger culture of love. God is not the God of hopeless families. He is the God of grace. He is the God who restores. He is the God who can teach tired people how to love with renewed tenderness. He is the God who can soften hardened places and reawaken joy where life became too heavy.

And perhaps one of the most uplifting truths of all is that parenting allows ordinary people to participate in something truly generational. When you spend time with your children, you are not only improving a mood or creating a nice evening. You are helping shape what that child may one day carry into friendships, marriage, faith, parenting, and the wider world. A child who has known warmth is often more able to give warmth. A child who has known listening is often more able to listen. A child who has known patient truth is often more able to carry truth without cruelty. Of course no parent controls every future outcome, and each child remains their own person before God. But the atmosphere of love still matters. It still leaves traces. It still plants seeds. That means your hidden faithfulness may ripple much further than you can currently see. A bedtime prayer can echo into an adult life. A steady father can become part of how a son later stands firm. A gentle mother can become part of how a daughter later believes she is worth tenderness. A home does not have to be famous to become powerful.

When people think about calling, they often imagine something large, visible, and clearly named. But many callings are lived more than announced. Parenthood is one of them. To be entrusted with a child is to be handed a living responsibility, a living privilege, and a living opportunity to reflect something of the love of God over time. That does not mean every parent will feel inspired every day. It does not mean every day will feel beautiful. There will be mess, frustration, monotony, weariness, and moments where you would gladly trade the chaos for silence. But even there, the deeper truth remains. This is holy work. This is heart work. This is soul work. This is eternity brushing up against ordinary life in the form of daily faithfulness. And once a parent begins to really see that, many things start to change. The little moments stop looking so little. The routine starts feeling more sacred. The house stops feeling only like a place of tasks and starts feeling more like a field where love is being planted every day.

So spend time with your kids. Spend time with them when life feels busy. Spend time with them when work is loud. Spend time with them when you are tempted to think later will be easier. Spend time with them because later is never promised in the form you imagine. Spend time with them because one day the things that feel ordinary now will glow in memory. Spend time with them because your presence is one of the greatest gifts you can give. Spend time with them because their hearts are learning from the atmosphere you create. Spend time with them because joy lives there. Spend time with them because laughter lives there. Spend time with them because trust grows there. Spend time with them because God is not wasting those hidden moments. Spend time with them because what feels small today may become part of the deepest strength in their future. Spend time with them because being near your children in love is not a lesser life. It is one of the richest and most meaningful lives a person can live.

And if you are tired, begin with one moment. If you feel behind, begin with one evening. If you feel regret, begin with one honest prayer and one soft response where you would normally be distracted. Let God help you in the ordinary. Let Him restore wonder in the home. Let Him show you again that some of the greatest blessings of life do not arrive as trophies. They arrive as people. They arrive as children. They arrive as the chance to be there while a life is still opening. And that is no small thing. That is one of the quiet glories of being human. To love someone while they are becoming. To stay near enough that they remember your warmth. To build a home where love has weight and joy has room. To spend time with your kids and, in doing so, to stand directly inside some of the most sacred work God will ever place in your hands.

Your friend, Douglas Vandergraph

Watch Douglas Vandergraph inspiring faith-based videos on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@douglasvandergraph

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Vandergraph Po Box 271154 Fort Collins, Colorado 80527

JOURNAL 27 mars

On est rentrées. On a compté les gouttes, il y en a beaucoup. On sort d'un bain bien chaud qui prépare un nuit confortable. La chambre est moche, mais une fois la lumière éteinte ça n’a pas d'importance. Dans le lit il y aura deux filles pour s'aimer. On ferme pas les rideaux, on a presque l'impression de dormir sous le ciel sans être mouillées, puis comme ça on les voit pas les rideaux moches.

Mais dehors c’est l'océan, le ciel, et la pluie, rien que de la beauté sauvage, beauté dehors, beauté dans la chambre, je regarde ton corps, merde qu'est ce que tu es belle…

— au lit !

Music makes us smile, sing along, nostalgic, weep, hurt, pause, reflect...and sometimes, it makes us laugh. I'm not sure why Providence conspired to put all these songs in my ears in the last two days, but it did, and the laughter these oxymoronic lyrics created was a true treat in an otherwise long week.

But she ain't goin' nowhere, she's just leavin'.

— Guy Clark

Well I sat there at the table, and I acted real naive, for I knew that topless lady had something up her sleeve.

— John Prine

She's no lady, she's my wife.

— Lyle Lovett

If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane.

— Jimmy Buffett

Happy Friday!

#quotes

#002325 – 10 de Outubro de 2025

Boris Cherny, que criou o Claude Code, compara a revolução tecnológica da inteligência artificial à invenção da imprensa. Explica Cherny que, antes da imprensa, só uma minúscula parte da humanidade sabia ler e escrever. E que provavelmente não haveria Renascença sem a invenção da imprensa, pois só este democratizar massivo da tecnologia da escrita permitiu criar massa crítica para que muitas ideias e tecnologias se desenvolvessem a seguir. Diz Boris Cherny que agora não temos, tal como na altura os que assistiram ao surgir da imprensa não tinham, forma de imaginar que descobertas incríveis aí vêem, com a acessibilidade a ferramentas como o Claude Code e o Cursor, que permitem que qualquer pessoa programe.

Jeremy Howard, que fundou a fast.ai, usa o mesmo exemplo, da invenção da imprensa, para tirar uma lição diferente. Diz ele que é muito perigoso deixar que uma tecnologia poderosa seja centralizada, visto que assim é bem mais fácil que algumas pessoas se apoderem delas, monopolizando as suas capacidades para benefício próprio, com o risco da destruição da civilização. Tal como houve quem quisesse resistir a deixar que a imprensa permitisse o acesso de todos à escrita, diz Howard, agora há quem queira limitar o acesso a estas ferramentas de inteligência artificial e concentrar o poder o mais possível. Jeremy Howard coloca a questão: não sabemos ainda onde esta tecnologia nos vais levar, nem se vai ser tão poderosa como alguns pensam, mas se realmente se revelar assim tão poderosa, será boa ideia deixar que apenas o Trump ou o Musk a controlem?

According to local photographer David Coleman who publishes Cherry Blossom Watch on Substack, the Japanese cherry blossoms around the Tidal Basin in Washington, D.C. were in peak bloom yesterday, 26 Mar. And we were there to get a bunch of shots.

Plus, we got a few photos of iconic monuments and fellow gawkers at the Tidal Basin. See them all at the TechNewsLit collection on Smugmug.

Copyright © Technology News and Literature. All rights reserved.

Oh yeah. We're back.

#RoseTheRainbowMouse

All the research that I have done on Homeowners Associations state that HOAs tend to change the rules in the middle of the game. HOAs will make up new rules because they run unchecked. Look no further than the current state of affairs in U.S. politics to understand that rules are for poor people who lack power. The HOA is taking your money and they will use your money against you because they have been given the power to do so.

My roof remains tarped. My HOA story doesn’t even begin with my roof being tarped—that is merely the present situation as the HOA continues to fight me for this house. The HOA is desperate for money and/or is running a scheme in cahoots with law firms and the legal system to get homeowners out of their homes by piling on fees which lead to liens and foreclosures. This is where the research needs to be done.

This story is traumatizing as it is happening in real time. That is why it is taking me so long to tell the whole thing. I take breaks from writing and also break the story down into segments for my own sanity. I am not embarrassed by revealing these intimate details about my life. In fact, writing this is therapeutic and is cheaper than going to counseling without (or even with) insurance.

This is from an e-mail from my HOA dated October 5, 2025 (emphasis mine):

Hello,

In order to make any alteration to a home outside of an impending hurricane, the association’s governing documents require that an owner submit an ARC (Architectural Review Committee) application for approval. Since this tarp was installed well after the hurricane, during a period when no hurricane threat existed, it qualifies as an alteration to the exterior of the home and therefore requires ARC approval.

The ARC approval process ensures that the association is aware of any proposed changes, even temporary ones such as a tarp, so the modification can be monitored and properly documented. During an active hurricane threat, the State temporarily suspends certain requirements; however, when there is no impending storm, all association rules apply. In this case, no ARC application was received.

A violation letter was mailed, providing a deadline to bring the issue into compliance. Since no response was received and no one attended the committee meeting, the committee approved a fine for the unapproved tarp, which constitutes an unapproved alteration. Had you reached out or attended the meeting, we would have been able to work with you to resolve the matter.

The fine must be paid by the stated deadline to avoid the issue being forwarded to the association’s attorney for collection. Moving forward, to keep the tarp on the roof, you must submit an ARC application through the MGC portal for approval and provide proof of an active roof repair or replacement claim along with the expected date of completion.

Thanks,

Roger Kessler, LCAM

P.O. Box 2878

Riverview, FL 33568

Direct 813-413-1404

This is how my HOA changed the rules mid-game. When they initially contacted me via an e-mail that I didn’t not see on time and via U. S. mail at an address I do not reside (I live right here in the community), they told me that I had my tarp on since the hurricanes and that was too long. When I refuted that and said I could provide evidence (my tarp was installed in May of the following year), they then changed their position to what you see written above.

The HOA knows I do not have the money. We have already been to court on a separate issue. They placed a lien on my house and then proceeded to foreclose on it that same summer. Then, the roof stuff started that same summer after the foreclosure was halted through bankruptcy. They know exactly what they are doing. The game is rigged in their favor.

If you want to know more about this specific story, read the following posts on Florida Homeowners Association Terror:

• What It Looks Like When You Get Fined By Your HOA
• Your HOA Gets to Decide What “A Reasonable Timeframe” Is
• What an HOA Architectural Violation Email Looks Like
• How to File an ARC with Your HOA So That They Can Reject It
• Your HOA Can Further Impoverish You with Fees When You Can’t Fix Your Roof