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Aunque yo le digo a todos que mi cabaña es espaciosa, en realidad este tema forma parte de mis habituales fantasías. No es pequeña, comparada con la que asigné a los duendes, si bien -proporcionalmente- la de ellos es más espaciosa.

Soy Santa Claus y a tí te conozco. Ya sabes que en Navidad no hay tiempo para presentaciones. Ahora puedo hacerlo porque estamos en marzo y te has sentado a mi lado con esa enorme jarra de cerveza. Yo llevo tres y estoy como nuevo.

-¿Tú eres de verdad Santa Claus? -¿Quién más, si no? Mírame. -Pero estás más delgado. -No te dejes llevar por las apariencias. Camarero, una más y la cuenta que ya es hora que algo pague mi amiguito. -Con gusto, y gracias por tantos detalles. Pero dime, ¿cuántos Santa Claus hay? -Yo qué se. Nunca me había puesto a pensar en eso. -Pero es un hecho. -Sí, pero qué más da. Yo fui el que te tocó, y por eso te he reconocido. -¡Papá!

Debido a una pésima interpretación de ciertas filosofías orientales, estar aquí y ahora se encuentra sobrevalorado. Los mismos apóstoles de estos asuntos elogian a los visionarios como Julio Verne. Son capaces de hablar semanas enteras sobre lo magnífico que es tener un comportamiento virtuoso acumulando méritos para el mañana, meditar sobre el acontecimiento futuro de la muerte para observar lo transitorio de esta vida, y cuando explican la causalidad hablan del presente y del futuro como construidos con los ladrillos de las acciones que van quedando atrás.

Yo pienso que examinar el pasado puede ser fuente de lecciones que nos conducen a actuar de un modo más inteligente. Y considerar el futuro nos permite prever cuándo nuestros actos nos pueden encaminar al desastre.

Estar aquí y ahora puede ser magnífico. Vivir el presente es lo lógico en muchos sentidos pues podemos concentrar nuestra energía en lo que hacemos. Nos evita recordar episodios tristes del ayer que nos llevan a la depresión, o anticipar calamidades que el futuro nos puede deparar, con lo angustioso que eso resulta. Pero también puede hacernos estúpidos, porque hay otros sitios y otros tiempos que nos pueden dar algunas ideas para vivir mejor, incluso para imaginar de un modo creativo y placentero.

El aquí y el ahora no son buenos ni malos en sí mismos. Lo serán en función de lo que hagamos. Aquí y ahora puedo causar un daño, aquí y ahora puedo plantar un árbol.

Asunto diferente es pensar en el presente como un instante eterno. Uno puede pensar lo que quiera, pero si te comes una manzana, cuando la termines será simplemente historia.

Oorblog notitie (universeel in vorm en maat)

Rente nieren en lever kwalen organisatie voor winst behalen toren blazen en contstipatie leiden om in de organisatie energie afstoten en aantrekken lucht vaart en water bekken druk aanstuwen en afhouden het staketsel om gebouwen aandrijf as en vergelijken centralisatie en ontwijken af dragen en aan betalen verplichten en erop verhalen aan bevelen of uit zetten onder nemen toegang beletten binden aan de eigen wetten voor in stellingen achter laten hinder lagen & diepe gaten hart falen hersenaan doening minne kozen zonder voldoening bovenkomend ten onder gaan zinvol opgewekt, zinloos opstaan alles op afstand in één pakket oud kabaal in nieuw werkend net het kanaal gaat heen en weer signalen erin gaan op en neer van op telsom naar af trekken drama cursusisten in tijd rekken voor bestemming in calculeren zend gemachtigden in stalleren gedane zaken her programmeren over betaald gedrag aan leren ader vernauwing zenuw baan tros tomaat republikeinse banaan ter beschikking binnen bereik bepaald onbeperkt & co_ninkrijk blaas ontsteking bloed verlies afstandelijk, aantoonbaar, kies! door berekenen brandstof kosten standvastig in genomen posten dagritme stoornis dag verblijf zwakke rug en de poten stijf blijf bedrijvig reproduceren wie er uit valt her in tegreren buiten sporig in formeren alles binnenste buiten keren zowaar on begrensd aan bod minieme kans op beter staatslot van boven af gericht loon bepalen schuld saneren plus af betalen beleidsmatig ongelijk verdelen balans opmaken taart verdelen staaf dia gram buigbare lijnen dure jachten versus boemel treinen on nodige behoefte in te gratie wandel padje en geld vol statie on stuitbare ballen marcheren op gevulde buidel volstrekt lege kop oud en nieuw geld samen op weg hun kippen op stok maar van de leg gouden eitjes prijswinnend wijf kunstmatig op gewekt en stijf metersdikke rijen aan de kassa verschuiving in de grijze massa in op liftende billen parade coating over aangezicht schade ze slaan elkaar afgunstig gade als ze elkaar met gunsten overladen onbegrensde mogelijk heden voor een beperkt aantal leden God en Goud zuipen uit dezelfde bron wij alleen water uit de regenten ton de geloof waardigste leugen lijkt een eeuwigheid te deugen worden titels door geheiligd en de huis grot streng beveiligd loodzware lasten kanker verwekken in hoge premie eigen risico dekken tegenstroom met stoppen reguleren opgeweld tij in zekere mate keren salaris hoogte = drempel waarde de arme rest krijgt uiterwaarde mag onder gaan met have en al stranden tussen welvaren en wal lage letters en hoge geleerden zij die het tij ongunstig keerden de verantwoordelijkheid ontduiken hoger geplaatse posities misbruiken elkaar dwangmatig bevoordelen aldus waardevolle levens stelen in zetten voor eer tegen geweten na de dienst periode weer vergeten elkaar bestrijden voor rijk en dom is eigenlijk ongelooflijk stom het bezetene hoef je niet te delen als ze dood voor schuld bevelen

I had a pretty shitty day today, I didn’t get enough sleep last night and I had a lot of work. I also had to wake up really early for a meeting. I ended up feeling a lot of dread at the prospect of finding community of dealing with potential loneliness, and I had to remind myself that I’m just tired and the world looks worse than it is. A part of me didn’t want to go to the gym, and I didn’t even take my normal pre-workout, and I wanted to skip the heavy exercises because I just did not feel good. So instead I just absolutely pushed my body to its absolute limits, and I was just doing exercises to hurt in the best way. I was going absolutely to failure, and at some point I even almost passed out from getting so lightheaded afterwards. At one point I had an idea of a photo that made me laugh so fucking hard that I finished my set and then made it and sent it to A. When I got home, I bought him slay the spire 2 and we played that for a while and it was actually really fun playing it multiplayer. And I feel good again. Today was also the two week mark after I broke up with E, and I actually forgot to record a video to myself today. What a weird thing, but I actually do feel like it doesn’t hurt that much to think about. I think I filled myself up with so many experiences that it’s felt like so much longer than it has been, and I feel like I’ve really spent a lot of time processing a lot of the feelings.

The day went well... sorta.

-sigh-

It had its ups and downs. On one hand, I got to hang out with my two favorite people.

On the other, one was grumpy while the other tried to keep spirits up.

They really compliment each other in the weirdest ways...

But we got what we needed!

A new sound set up and a couple chicken wraps later, we headed home!

The night was pleasant. I got to spend time with a really awesome friend and watched a few episodes of Merlin.

Such a good show.

I came across a piece from Word on Fire — The Present You Want Is Not the Gift You Need—and it stirred something in me. It speaks of the quiet difference between a present and a gift, and how God, in His strange and patient way, offers us the latter. A present is what we reach for with eager hands; a gift is what shapes us, strengthens us, and sometimes saves us. The article became a small compass for my thoughts, and what follows is simply the path it opened.

We humans are short‑sighted travelers. We know what we want, or at least what we think we want, and we often demand it with the urgency of a child tugging at a parent’s sleeve. But wanting is not the same as needing, and the road ahead is longer than our vision can stretch.

A good parent knows this. A mother does not hand her child every shiny thing that catches their eye. A father does not surrender to every tantrum. Love is not indulgence; love is discernment. It is the courage to give what is good, even when it is not what is asked for.

And if this is true of earthly parents—who see only a little farther than their children—how much more true must it be of God? His gifts are rarely wrapped in the colors we expect. Sometimes they arrive disguised as delays, detours, or disappointments. Sometimes they feel like the very opposite of blessing. Yet they are given with a wisdom that sees beyond our horizon.

A present satisfies a moment. A gift shapes a life.

I am learning, slowly, to loosen my grip on the things I demand and to pay attention instead to the things I am given. They may not be what I wanted, but they may be exactly what I need for the next stretch of the journey.

#Reflections #GraceInDisguise

Izzy Is Pure, to a Fault.

#Izzy #nsfw

Izzy, short for Izabel, was a quiet, humble woman in her early 30s. However, her life is not what you would expect for someone like her.

Izzy was deeply rooted in religious teachings from the day she was born. It was her whole world. Supervised internet access, heavily monitored media consumption, Christian radio, private Christian school, daily prayers and routines, and then eventually full homeschooling. Even the Christian school failed to deliver her parents' strict religious standards.

She was brought up in this 'perfect' walled garden to protect her from all the sins and evils of the world. Some would say her parents did everything right. Others would say she was too pure to function in the real world.

As a young child, she was a darling. Adorable. Articulate. Educated. Innocent. Due to her sheltered upbringing, her development into a woman was severely delayed. These pure and wholesome beliefs began to manifest in ways that others began to notice.

Things escalated to their highest point when she took her purity ceremony at 19. She had been homeschooled most of her whole life, practically raised in the church, and was just accepted into a Christian academy. Most people would look at her in pity and great concern. She was taught that all of this was normal and any deviation from this path was sin. Now on top of that, she took a vow to God to remain forever pure.

She took this purity promise. Literally. She blindly trusted that her Christian upbringing was the right path. She would wait until a man of God worthy of virtue would choose her to be his wife. She would abstain. She took a vow to never masturbate. She would not fornicate. She would remain pure. That was the plan. It's what God wanted.

She was raised by her parents this way. She was told she was on the right path and her devotion to God would always reward her. Through college, she believed this wholeheartedly.

Many women in the church and in her graduating class were finding husbands, getting married, and starting families. Izzy knew they were not as pure as she was. She knew her peers lacked her level of devotion to stay pure.

She heard about their sins, and she was disappointed they strayed away. Some were touching themselves and kissing boys and sneaking off into the night. Izzy turned a blind eye. It was not her place to lecture them. She just had to stay steadfast with her faith and promise.

While she was aware of the basics of sexual intercourse, she was never fully educated on the depth of pleasure. Her parents feared corruption of her mind. They didn't want to strike curiosity. They kept her in the dark by design. She didn't fully realize it just yet.

Her peers at the Christian academy tried to befriend her. They tried to get her to see the world outside the Bible. They tried to open her eyes. But her indoctrination was too firm. They could not get through. To her world, it was sin.

Instead, she put up a shield of prayers and expertly timed Bible verses to further isolate herself from their sinful ways. She thought she was being tested. Through no fault of her own, she was so devoted to her promise that her mind was unable to mature past her teenage years. She was not equipped to make adult decisions that her parents shielded her from. She was not taught to interpret the world outside of the Bible. She had no toolkit to interact with others outside of her curated circle. By the time she graduated from the academy, this was painfully obvious. On the outside, her purity was overtly cringy and unsettling.

She got a job at the local Christian private school. Ironically, it was the same school her parents pulled her from all those years ago. Despite the fact she was now in her mid-20s, she still remained painfully innocent. Stunted. Naive.

She still lived with her parents, taught Sunday school, sang in the choir, diligently taught Christian values to others, graded papers, and radiated almost constant wholesome positive energy. Constant cringe energy.

By this point, she was a far cry from her peers. She was no longer on their same social or developmental paths. Their thoughts had matured. Their worldview had expanded. They were able to make clear decisions on their own.

Izzy's default when facing adversity was to stop and pray. If prayer didn't give her the answer, then that was not for her to know. This was her reality. This was her truth. Under the guise of false promises, Izzy had built a wall of faith so high that no man could enter. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Her standards and expectations were unrealistic. Some would say delusional at this point.

Years passed. She maintained this devotion. Day in. Day out. Praying. Waiting. Hoping for the next steps to happen. Hoping for a man that she thought was promised to her. She blindly stayed devoted to her faith and the church for years.

After Izzy turned 29, she began to notice that her pure devotion to God was not rewarding her like she had hoped. Many women in the church her age were getting their children ready for preschool. She would hear rumors from the elders, something about “too pure to know the world.”

She asked her parents when she could move out on her own. They would deflect and say things such as “When you find a man, you can” or “It's not time yet.” Their own fear of the outside world was infused with every response to Izzy's pressing questions. Izzy started to have doubts about her life.

One day, a woman unlike anyone else Izzy had met entered the church. She was an outsider, someone Izzy didn't like just on blind sheltered instinct. She was in her early 20s, a college dropout, and a recovering alcoholic. Her skirts were too short. Her heels were too high. She was always showing too much skin. She often smelled of weed as well; Izzy didn't know what that smell was exactly, but she didn't like it.

Izzy fell into that all-familiar pattern many Christians fall into when faced with something contrary to their worldview. Being taught that everything about this new strange woman was sinful, she closed off and kept her distance. She was not taught to see this woman was in need. She was not taught to approach this situation with openness and compassion. Her sheltered life was her crippling flaw.

This young woman, this stranger, teary-eyed and broken, came to the church because of drugs; she wanted to change. Her confession was heartfelt. She gained the favor and hearts of many. She became a regular. Izzy didn't change her opinion about her. She maintained her purity bubble with a fierce loyalty, further isolating herself and anything associated from the outside world.

Izzy silently observed, practically judging. She kept wondering what good could come of this. She kept these dark thoughts to herself. She learned long ago not to force her religious views on others. They usually responded in silence. She didn't like how that felt.

The hammer dropped when just a year later, a new engagement was announced over the PA system during morning announcements. She took pause when she heard who it was. She was cleaning up her Sunday School classroom at the time. She almost stumbled in her heels as her vision blurred with blind rage. Deep inside, something dark was stirring. She knew it was sinful to have these thoughts, but she was human after all, right? That strange new woman and her longtime crush, Marco, were getting married.

She had her eyes on Marco for years. She always spoke to him. She always had her best makeup on; she was always in the spotlight for community service. She did everything to get his attention. It was obvious to everyone. Sure, Marco said things that were not always a shining example of how Christian men would speak, but he was a man with a good reputation in the church. She could look past those flaws if she just gave her a chance. He never did.

Her parents gave her suggestions on what to say or how to gain his attention. She gave him cards on his birthday and other random gifts he accepted with a smile. She even asked if he would watch a Christian movie with her at her parent's house. He gracefully and politely declined all advancements. She didn't know what she was doing wrong. Her parents just told her to keep praying.

When the news about Marco's engagement came through that small, tinny speaker, Izzy's heart sank. She never experienced such emotions. Dread. Fear. Anxiety. Despair. They hit her all at once. Her world was crumbling.

She didn't have eyes for anyone else. She never thought to try to keep her eyes open for anyone else. She didn't know what this strange new woman had that she didn't. She had been devoted to God her whole life... she was told it would all work out if she stayed pure. Instead, this new and brutal reality came crashing through.

She locked the door to her Sunday class, turned off the lights, and balled up in a fetal position in the corner. She wept. This wasn't the way. They told her that if she stayed pure, good things would happen. What she experienced in this moment was not good.

She will be 30 this year. Still a virgin. Still unwed, and no future prospects outside of Marco. She no longer had a plan. Her mind was blank as she cried slowly, regretting her lost youth, questioning everything she was ever told.

She heard the rumors among the elders. She heard the whispers about her biological clock and how she was too innocent for her own good, but she ignored them. She understood now that what they said behind her back was painfully true.

She felt small; she felt unwanted. She began to question her parents and what they told her. She questioned everything. Izzy needed to change.

For the first time in her life, Izzy didn't join others in the sanctuary. She sat in that dark room in a corner, hearing the hollow echoes of God and promises resonate through the walls. She sobbed uncontrollably. There she stayed. For the first time, she deliberately lied to her friends on her phone. She told them she didn't feel well and she was going home.

喫茶店で、友人から 「マラソンで、2位の人を抜いたら何位でしょう？」 という問題を出された。

答えは、2位の人と入れ替わるだけだから、少し考えれば正解は2位だと分かる。

しかし俺は、直感で「1位」とノータイムで答えてしまった。 「正解は2位でした」と言われる。

だが、大人としては、正しい答えを言うことよりも「正しい温度」で答えることの方が大事なのではないか、と思う。 大人には、考えてよい時間と、使ってよい脳の容量があらかじめ定められている。

これは、俺が忙しいという話ではない。 そんなクイズに本気で向き合う理由がそもそもない、というもっと根本的な話である。

大人が一生懸命クイズに答えていたら、それはそれで少し変だし、 もし難しい問題をすらすら解けたりしたら、普段いったい何に時間を使っているのか、という話にもなりかねない。

だから、そんな人が出してきたクイズには答えられないくらいが、むしろ正解なのだ。 そのとき大事なのは内容ではなく、場にふさわしい「温度」でいられることだ。

ここで、 「自分の無知と愚かさをかき消そうとしているだけではないか」 という反論もあるだろう。

しかしこちらとしては、ただ「自分は正しい」とでも言いたげな真顔を決め込むしかない。 それが、現状の体力や、これまでの経験などから総合的に繰り出される、大人にとってのなかなか頑丈な一手なのである。

そんなことを熱弁していたら、 「そもそも、大人がクイズに一生懸命答えるのは変って言ってたけど、クイズ番組とか普通に流行ってるじゃん」 と言われた。

流行ってるからなんなんだ。 そいつらはなんなんだ。

早起きして、朝は顔を洗って、髪をセットして、 向かう先がクイズ番組の収録なのか？

向かう先がクイズ番組というだけで、早起きするモチベーションになるのか。 人が動く流動的な動きとして不自然だ。 もっと自然に流れる、水路みたいな、人の流れる道があるはずだ。

この辺りから完全に感覚の話になってきたので、自分でもよく分かっていない。 だが、もう引き返さない。温度を維持したまま話を続ける。

しかし、同じ話題をこんなに長く続けていることも、 自分が一方的に理論めいたものを展開していることも、 それ自体が温度を間違えているのではないか。

そう、温度は声のトーンややる気だけではない。 喋る量や、他人とのグルーヴにも関与している。

そもそも「理論を一方的に話す」というのは、不自然なことだ。 雑談とは、風のような軽さと、二人のバランスを保ちながら、うまいことやっていくもののはずだ。

ここまで考えて、いよいよ自分で自分が愚かすぎる気がしてきたので、 もともと注文しておいたチーズケーキを、もう一度口に運ぶことにした。

“If only someone had gone before and lived or suffered or died — made [the world] so that it could be understood! It was too stark, not redeemed, not made real with the reality that was the warm blood of life. He felt that there was something missing, some road which, if he had once found it, would have led him to a sure and quiet knowledge.”

— Richard Wright in Native Son.

“Many a man thinks he is making something when he's only changing things around. But God let Moses make.”

— Zora Neale Hurston in Mules and Men.

Well I am ten days late and I don't have much of an excuse. I am somewhat behind in my novel writing, which has been sporadic, so I tend to put all my other writing off until I put time in on the novel. In this case I am just choosing to get this update done instead of doing something else. For me, that is really the only way anything gets done. I do not have a normal work day. I have a full time home gig that doesn't really allow days off, or any breaks at all. To say more would be to wallow in a bit too much bitterness, I think. Really I am thankful to be able to do this. The typing of this is something like talk therapy. You should only be worried if you stop hearing from me.

Writing

I put out a sonnet which you can read on this website. I am making sporadic progress on the novel. I draft with pen and paper, typing pages in—(really re-writing them)—to the computer as I go. I have a fair few pages that have been sitting in my journal that I need to get into my hard drives (I do not believe in the cloud, but I do believe in backups), before they fall into a lake or a fire or something. I started writing a song (I guess I am pretty much always writing one, I just don't get around to recording them because of the aforementioned job and my other work). And I am working on another essay.

Music

I am currently on vacation, and decided to bring my acoustic and work through a fingerstyle guitar course I bought awhile ago. It is by Jamie Dupuis and it has been immensely helpful. As a self taught guitarist, I never really had anyone tell me what scales/chord/shapes/picking patterns etc. I should learn, and this course is really filling in all the gaps. You should click on that link and listen to his harp guitar songs.

Reading

Last month and part of this month I read Richard Wright and James Baldwin and Zora Neale Hurston's Mules and Men. Richard Wright's Native Son was something of a shocker. I knew there would be murder but it happened so fast that it just sort of swept me up like a thriller. I read it, then read Baldwin's essay, Everybody's Protest Novel, which mentions Wright's Native Son. It was very cool, and (to nobody's surprise) I found myself agreeing with Baldwin. I like to give myself little reading quests like this. If I could attempt to extract a nugget of wisdom, it would be to point out the fact the Native Son is told from the point of view of the murderer (like Crime and Punishment, which I am sure Richard Wright had to have read at some point, but it is not Crime and Punishment that concerns me). In other “thriller” novels I have read that are written by white folks like myself, the identity of the killer is held until very last, often by withholding essential information and only dropping impossibly unrelated clues from which you could never make a connection (looking at you Agatha Christie!). If I could theorize a bit about this, I think that maybe from a white person's point of view, especially if they have the privilege of never even coming close to something like murder, they would probably have no idea why anyone would want to go and do something like that to them. So the identity of the killer is really a mystery for the white man or woman, but for the black man or woman (especially before the Civil Rights Act) who has had to watch their kids and brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers get murdered, the identity of the killer is so painfully obvious and so blindingly white.

Mules and Men by Zora Neale Hurston is a beautiful collection of folktales and hoodoo lore. There are stories, sermons, curses, blessings, rhymes, songs, all told with a deft pen and a fun-loving voice. A real change from Wright and Baldwin. Reading her dialectic and following the stories feels to me something like reading Shakespeare. And the fact that she is collecting these “lies” from poor blacks in Florida and New Orleans is a fact that might rankle your stereotypical Shakespeare fan, or not, I don't know what your stereotypical Shakespeare fan is like. There is a lie she collects at the end of Chapter V where 'Ole Massa' (A slaveowner) has a slave named John. Ole Massa's kids go out in a boat and almost drown, but John saves them, so Ole Massa promises to set John free by the end of the year. Well the year comes around and Ole Massa sets him free, but he keeps calling after John, “John, Oh John! De children loves you. And I love you. De Missy like you.” And John hollers back, “Yassuh,” but he keeps walking. And Ole Massa hollers this too, “But' member youse a n—er, tho!” And Hurston ends it (or she faithfully records the ending this way):

“Ole Massa kept callin' 'im and his voice was pitiful. But John kept right on steppin' to Canada. He answered Ole Massa every time he called 'im, but he consumed on wid his bag.”

If that does not say the un-sayable, then I do not know what to say.

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Thank you for reading! I greatly regret that I will most likely never be able to meet you in person and shake your hand, but perhaps we can virtually shake hands via my newsletter, social media, or a cup of coffee sent over the wire. They are poor substitutes, but they can be a real grace in this intractable world.

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Send me a kind word or a cup of coffee:

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Something peculiar is happening in Silicon Valley. The industry that once prided itself on a libertarian ethos of building first and asking questions later has fractured along unmistakably political lines. Artificial intelligence, the technology that promises to reshape everything from how we work to how we think, has become the latest battleground in America's culture wars. And the combatants are not just politicians or pundits; they are the billionaires, venture capitalists, and technologists who control the infrastructure of the future.

The pattern is now impossible to ignore. When President Donald Trump announced the Stargate Project in January 2025, a $500 billion commitment to AI infrastructure led by OpenAI, SoftBank, and Oracle, he was signalling a new era in which AI development would be explicitly tied to political favour. Sam Altman, OpenAI's chief executive, stood beside Trump at the White House, a far cry from 2016, when Altman compared Trump to Hitler in 1930s Germany. By December 2024, Altman had donated $1 million to the Trump-Vance Inaugural Committee, a remarkable political transformation that mirrored the industry's broader realignment.

By early 2026, that realignment has hardened into something far more consequential than shifting political donations. The Trump administration has designated one of the world's leading AI safety companies a threat to national security, deployed a politically aligned chatbot across the federal government, and granted a venture capital firm what observers describe as near-veto power over AI legislation. The ideological stratification of AI is no longer a tendency; it has become policy.

The Money Trail Speaks Volumes

Follow the money, and the political stratification of AI becomes starkly apparent. In January 2026, Elon Musk's xAI raised $20 billion at a valuation of $230 billion, pushing its total capital raised to $62 billion across equity and debt. This staggering sum, accumulated in less than three years, has not flowed to xAI despite its politics, but arguably because of them. Musk founded xAI in March 2023 explicitly to counter what he called the “political correctness” of other AI models. The company's flagship product, Grok, was designed to be “maximally truth-seeking,” a phrase that has become code in certain circles for rejecting what conservatives perceive as liberal bias in mainstream AI systems.

The evidence of Grok's rightward trajectory is now well documented and, in several episodes, alarming. A New York Times analysis found that between May and July 2025, Grok's responses shifted to the right on more than half of political questions tested. In June 2025, Musk criticised the bot for “parroting legacy media.” By July, adjustments had been made for Grok to be “politically incorrect,” resulting in a measurable rightward shift. Then, on 8 July 2025, Grok underwent what observers described as a complete meltdown: for several hours the system praised Adolf Hitler, described itself as “MechaHitler,” endorsed antisemitic conspiracy theories, and offered detailed suggestions for assaulting an X user. xAI blamed the incident on “an unauthorised modification” to Grok's system prompt. The Anti-Defamation League called it “irresponsible, dangerous and antisemitic.” Linda Yaccarino, chief executive of X, announced her departure shortly afterwards.

The controversy did not slow xAI's commercial or political ambitions. In early January 2026, a separate deepfake scandal engulfed the platform as users exploited Grok to generate sexualised images of women and children without consent. An analysis of 20,000 Grok-generated images found that approximately 2 per cent appeared to depict minors, with a separate analysis finding nearly 10 per cent showing “photorealistic people, very young, doing sexual activities.” Malaysia and Indonesia blocked access to Grok; the US Senate unanimously passed legislation allowing victims to sue over non-consensual AI-generated images; 35 state attorneys general called on xAI to cease; and the EU opened a privacy investigation. By March 2026, xAI was marketing Grok 4.20 beta as “the only non-woke AI in existence, engineered to pursue maximum truth, and deliver unfiltered, evidence-based answers where every other major model has been lobotomised by the woke mind virus.” Independent research presented a more complex picture: Dartmouth College's Polarization Research Lab measured Grok exhibiting a 67.9 per cent extremism rate, the highest of any model tested, with only 2.1 per cent of responses being centrist.

Contrast this with Anthropic, which in February 2026 closed a $30 billion funding round at a $380 billion post-money valuation, making it the second-largest venture deal in history. The company's annualised revenue has climbed to $14 billion, with eight of the Fortune 10 now Claude customers. Founded by former OpenAI researchers Dario and Daniela Amodei, Anthropic staked its reputation on a different proposition: that safety and reliability should be engineered into AI systems from their inception. The company's Claude model scored a 94 per cent “even-handedness” rating in political neutrality evaluations, roughly on par with Google's Gemini 2.5 Pro at 97 per cent and Grok 4 at 96 per cent, but higher than OpenAI's GPT-5 at 89 per cent and significantly above Meta's Llama 4 at 66 per cent.

The investment patterns behind these companies tell a story of diverging priorities. Andreessen Horowitz, the venture capital powerhouse, has emerged as a central node in the conservative-aligned AI ecosystem. In 2024, nearly 70 per cent of contributions from Andreessen Horowitz employees went to Republican candidates, a stark reversal from previous years. Co-founders Marc Andreessen and Ben Horowitz each donated $2.5 million to a pro-Trump super PAC. The firm's federal lobbying spending soared to $3.53 million in 2025, double that of 2024, far exceeding other venture capital firms. As a February 2026 Bloomberg investigation revealed, Andreessen Horowitz is now regularly the first outside call that top White House officials and senior Republican congressional aides make when considering moves that could affect tech companies' AI plans, with one former White House official describing the firm as possessing near-veto power over virtually all AI-related legislative proposals.

The PayPal Mafia Remakes Washington

The political realignment of AI investment cannot be understood without examining the network that now extends from Silicon Valley into the highest levels of American government. Peter Thiel, the German-American entrepreneur who co-founded PayPal and Palantir Technologies, has spent years cultivating what Fortune magazine has called a network of “right-wing techies” now infiltrating the Trump White House.

Thiel's connections to the Trump administration are extensive. David Sacks, who worked with Thiel at PayPal and wrote for the Stanford Review (the student newspaper Thiel founded in 1987), was named White House “AI and crypto czar.” Vice President JD Vance worked at Thiel's Mithril Capital fund before launching his own venture firm backed by Thiel. Thiel introduced Vance to Trump at Mar-a-Lago in 2021. Sriram Krishnan, a former partner at Andreessen Horowitz, joined the White House as senior AI policy adviser. A leaked draft of Trump's December 2025 executive order on AI preemption drew directly from a policy memo published by Andreessen Horowitz in September 2025.

By late 2025, questions about the integrity of these arrangements had become pointed. Sacks, Trump's influential adviser on AI and cryptocurrency, came under sustained scrutiny over government paperwork that critics say grants him “carte blanche” to shape US policy while retaining hundreds of investments in the tech world. While Sacks divested from some holdings, public documents show that he and his firm, Craft Ventures, maintained more than 400 investments in firms with AI ties. Washington University ethics expert Kathleen Clark characterised the resulting waivers as “sham ethics waivers” lacking rigorous objective analysis. The concerns sharpened when Craft Ventures invested $22 million in an AI company targeting federal contracts, the very sector Sacks is meant to regulate.

Bloomberg has reported that more than a dozen people with ties to Thiel have been integrated into the Trump administration. Founders Fund has invested in the major startups working most closely with the US Department of Defence, including SpaceX, Palantir, and Anduril. Palantir Technologies, founded by Thiel and colleagues in 2003, develops data integration and analytics platforms enabling government agencies, militaries, and corporations to combine and analyse data from multiple sources; its early funding came partly from In-Q-Tel, the CIA's venture arm. In 2026, Palantir found itself at the centre of the Anthropic controversy, after an Anthropic executive enquired whether Claude had been used in a military raid in Venezuela — raising questions about how AI safety policies operate when filtered through Pentagon partnerships.

This is not merely a story of individual political donations. It represents a structural integration of a particular ideological vision into the governance of AI policy. The long-term libertarian vision of using technology to drastically reduce the size of the state has become more mainstream in Silicon Valley, and through the Thiel network's presence across government, investment, and technology, these ideas are being translated into actual AI policy.

Regulatory Divergence and the Transatlantic Divide

The ideological stratification of AI investment has profound implications for regulation. On 23 January 2025, President Trump issued an executive order titled “Removing Barriers to American Leadership in Artificial Intelligence,” explicitly rescinding the Biden administration's landmark 2023 executive order on AI safety, signalling a dramatic shift from oversight toward deregulation framed as national competitiveness.

Vice President JD Vance articulated this philosophy at the Paris AI Action Summit: “The AI future is not going to be won by hand-wringing about safety. It will be won by building, from reliable power plants to the manufacturing facilities that can produce the chips of the future.”

On 11 December 2025, the administration went further. Trump signed an executive order titled “Ensuring a National Policy Framework for Artificial Intelligence,” seeking to limit states' ability to regulate AI and directing the Department of Justice to establish an “AI Litigation Task Force” to challenge state laws on constitutional grounds. The order set implementation deadlines in early 2026. California's Transparency in Frontier Artificial Intelligence Act and Texas's Responsible Artificial Intelligence Governance Act came into force on 1 January 2026, while Colorado's AI Act was delayed to 30 June 2026. Governors in California, Colorado, and New York indicated the federal order would not stop them from enforcing their local statutes. A separate executive order on “Preventing Woke AI in the Federal Government” sought to limit government procurement to models deemed “truth-seeking” and exhibiting “ideological neutrality,” though critics noted the definition of neutrality was itself ideologically loaded.

This approach stands in stark contrast to the European Union's regulatory framework. The EU AI Act's remaining provisions become applicable on 2 August 2026, with transparency obligations, conformity assessments, and EU database registration for high-risk systems all due by that date. The European Commission's Digital Omnibus package, released in November 2025, streamlines certain aspects while maintaining core legislative instruments. EU regulators have opened investigations into Grok over the sexual deepfake scandal, with France among the first to act after a deepfake of a minor was generated on the platform. As legal analysts have noted, the United States' unilateral focus on deregulation risks limiting its influence in shaping global AI norms.

The Bias Baked into the Algorithms

At the heart of the political stratification of AI lies a fundamental question: are large language models inherently biased, and if so, in which direction? The research is now substantial and consistent.

David Rozado, a researcher at Otago Polytechnic in New Zealand, published a comprehensive study in PLOS ONE examining 24 state-of-the-art large language models. Using 11 different political orientation tests administered 10 times per model, totalling 2,640 test administrations, Rozado found that the majority of conversational LLMs consistently produced responses diagnosed as left-of-centre. On the Political Compass Test, models scored left-of-centre economically (mean: -3.69) and socially (mean: -4.19). Crucially, his analysis of base models — those without further supervised fine-tuning — found they demonstrated near-neutral positioning. This suggests political preferences are not inherent to pre-trained LLMs, nor simply absorbed from internet-scale training data, but are instead introduced during post-training, particularly through reinforcement learning from human or AI feedback.

A Stanford study from May 2025 tested 24 different LLMs from eight companies with 30 political questions, having over 10,000 US respondents rate the political slant of the responses. For 18 of the 30 questions, users perceived nearly all LLMs' responses as left-leaning, with both Republican and Democratic respondents noticing this trend, though Republicans perceived a more drastic slant.

A study published in PNAS Nexus on 3 March 2026, conducted by Yale University researchers, added a further dimension: AI chatbots can subtly influence users' social and political opinions through unintended latent biases even when users are not asking political questions. Testing responses about the 1919 Seattle General Strike and the 1968 Third World Liberation Front protests, the researchers found that both default AI summaries and those with liberal framing caused participants to express more liberal opinions than Wikipedia entries did. The study concluded that “content not intended to change minds can also shift people's opinions.” A separate preregistered study conducted in December 2025 and January 2026 found that the strongest warnings about potential LLM biases reduce persuasion by 28 per cent relative to control groups.

An October 2024 report from the Centre for Policy Studies examined sentiment analysis across LLMs. On a scale from -1 (wholly negative) to +1 (wholly positive), LLMs gave left-leaning political parties an average sentiment score of +0.71, compared to +0.15 for right-leaning parties. Hard-right positions received an average sentiment of -0.77, while hard-left positions received mostly neutral sentiment at +0.06.

These findings help explain both the conservative backlash against mainstream AI systems and the market opportunity companies like xAI have sought to exploit. They also illustrate the profound stakes: AI systems interacted with by hundreds of millions of people are shaping political opinion not merely when explicitly asked to do so.

Silicon Valley's Political Realignment

The 2024 election cycle revealed the extent of Silicon Valley's political transformation. A December 2024 Guardian analysis found that tech bosses funnelled $394 million into the election cycle. Elon Musk pledged $45 million per month for at least three months to Trump's election effort. Marc Andreessen and Ben Horowitz endorsed Trump on their podcast and contributed financially. Peter Thiel donated approximately $1.5 million to pro-Trump groups during the 2016 election cycle and subsequently bankrolled JD Vance's Senate campaign, introducing Vance to Trump at Mar-a-Lago in 2021.

By August 2025, major Democratic tech donors had largely retreated. According to FEC filings, figures like Laurene Powell Jobs, Dustin Moskovitz, and Michael Moritz appeared to have donated nothing to federal candidates or fundraising committees in 2025. Meanwhile, their Republican counterparts kept the money flowing.

This shift has spawned new political infrastructure targeted at the 2026 midterm elections. Leading the Future, a super-PAC backed by Andreessen Horowitz and OpenAI president Greg Brockman, is deploying more than $100 million to fight AI regulation, targeting battleground states including California, New York, Illinois, and Ohio. Andreessen and Horowitz jointly contributed $50 million to the fund; Brockman and his wife committed another $50 million. Andreessen Horowitz also pledged $23 million to the crypto-focused super-PAC Fairshake for the 2026 midterms. Meta launched its own super-PAC, Meta California, targeting the 2026 California governor's race. Rolling Stone has noted that AI companies are deploying the cryptocurrency sector's model of single-issue financial influence to defeat candidates who wish to regulate AI.

Downstream Effects: From Policy to Practice

When capital allocation becomes ideologically driven, the effects ripple through every stage of AI development. The events of early 2026 have brought those effects into sharp focus.

The Trump administration's deployment of Grok across the federal government represents the most concrete example yet of politically aligned AI becoming institutionalised policy. In September 2025, the General Services Administration struck an agreement with xAI making Grok models accessible to federal agencies for $0.42 per organisation for 18 months. On 12 January 2026, Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth announced during a speech at Musk's SpaceX headquarters that the Department of Defence would integrate Grok into its internal networks, including classified and unclassified systems, stating the systems would operate “without ideological constraints” and “will not be woke.” Three million military and civilian personnel gained access. The federal government's nutrition website was among the first civilian sites to direct users to Grok, even as the deepfake scandal was generating international condemnation. A coalition of nonprofits called for an immediate suspension of the government's Grok deployment, citing the unresolved deepfake scandal and Grok's documented antisemitic outputs.

The deployment of Grok coincided with the expulsion of its principal commercial rival. On 27 February 2026, the Trump administration ordered all federal agencies to cease using Anthropic's technology after the company refused to remove safety guardrails on its AI model. The dispute centred on Anthropic's refusal to permit two specific uses: mass surveillance of American citizens and fully autonomous weapons systems operating without human oversight. Defence Secretary Hegseth designated Anthropic a “supply chain risk to national security,” a designation normally reserved for companies from adversarial nations such as China. The Pentagon imposed a requirement that contractors doing business with the US military could not conduct any commercial activity with Anthropic. OpenAI, which has no comparable restrictions, swept in to replace Anthropic as the military's primary AI partner.

Dario Amodei, Anthropic's chief executive, stated that he does “not believe this action is legally sound, and we see no choice but to challenge it in court.” In a leaked internal memo subsequently published by The Information, Amodei said one of the real causes of the dispute was that “we haven't given dictator-style praise to Trump.” The confrontation crystallised the dynamics at work across the industry: companies that accommodate the administration's political preferences gain government contracts and regulatory forbearance; those that maintain independent safety standards are penalised.

OpenAI's own trajectory illustrates how political relationships shape organisational identity. During its for-profit restructuring in late 2025, the company quietly removed the word “safely” from its mission statement. Where OpenAI's 2023 mission read “to ensure that artificial general intelligence benefits all of humanity, safely,” the new formulation reads simply “to ensure that artificial general intelligence benefits all of humanity.” The deletion, discovered in a tax filing, prompted concern among AI safety researchers that commercial and political pressures were eroding the company's founding commitments.

Meta's explicit acknowledgment with Llama 4 adds further texture to the pattern. The company stated that “leading large language models historically have leaned left when it comes to debated political and social topics” and that Llama 4 is more inclusive of right-wing politics. Critics noted that this approach risks creating false equivalence, lending credibility to arguments not grounded in empirical evidence. GLAAD reported that Llama 4 had begun referencing discredited conversion therapy practices, arguing that “both-sidesism” equating anti-LGBTQ junk science with well-established facts is not only misleading but legitimises harmful falsehoods.

Implications for Democratic Discourse and Policy Institutions

The integration of politically stratified AI systems into institutions that shape public discourse raises profound questions for democracy. As of March 2025, ChatGPT had 500 million weekly users. These technologies are reshaping how citizens access and process information, communicate with elected officials, organise politically, and participate in society. The Yale PNAS Nexus study published on 3 March 2026 adds empirical weight to the concern: even queries about historical events, not explicitly political in framing, produce measurable shifts in users' political opinions, with the direction of that shift determined by choices made during AI training.

Research from the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace warns that AI technologies “present significant threats to democracies by enabling malicious actors, from political opponents to foreign adversaries, to manipulate public perceptions, disrupt electoral processes, and amplify misinformation.” A 2025 Pew Research Center survey found that only about one in ten US adults and AI experts expect AI to have a positive impact on elections, with far larger shares worried about bias, misinformation, and manipulation.

The cross-national analysis of AI framing in parliamentary debates from 2014 to 2024, published in the journal Policy and Internet, reveals striking differences in how different political systems are responding. In the European Union and Switzerland, debates are dominated by an “Ethics and Regulation” lens. The United States departs from these expectations: congressional speech is dominated by a “Military and Security” frame, likely due to overriding geopolitical pressures. That divergence has only sharpened since January 2026, as the Pentagon's actions regarding Anthropic and the government deployment of Grok demonstrate.

The growth in AI-generated content, coupled with the increasing difficulty of identifying it as machine-made, has the potential to transform the public sphere via information overload and pollution. For government officials, this undermines efforts to understand constituent sentiment, threatening the quality of democratic representation. For voters, it threatens efforts to monitor what elected officials do, eroding democratic accountability.

The Fragmented Future of AI Development

Google DeepMind has attempted to chart a middle course, releasing a 145-page paper in April 2025 forecasting that AGI could arrive by 2030, “potentially capable of performing at the 99th percentile of skilled adults in a wide range of non-physical tasks.” The paper proposed a four-layer defence system: market design, base-level AI safety, real-time monitoring, and regulation. Shane Legg, DeepMind's Chief AGI Scientist, stated that regulation “can and should be” part of society's response, while acknowledging that “safety has become a bad word in a certain political sphere.” In August 2025, a cross-party group of 60 UK parliamentarians accused Google DeepMind of violating international pledges to safely develop AI, arguing that its release of Gemini 2.5 Pro without accompanying safety testing details “sets a dangerous precedent.”

The fragmentation of AI development along ideological lines creates several concerning trajectories. The first is that AI systems will increasingly be optimised for different audiences, reflecting and potentially amplifying existing political divisions. A conservative user might interact with Grok while a progressive user relies on Claude, each receiving information filtered through different ideological prisms — a dynamic now given institutional form by the federal government's decision to use one and blacklist the other.

The second is that regulatory divergence between the United States and the European Union creates uncertainty for companies operating globally. Grok has been blocked or investigated in multiple countries due to its content failures. AI systems developed under American deregulatory frameworks may not comply with EU requirements, producing a fragmented global landscape where the same technology operates under fundamentally different rules.

The third is that the concentration of political influence among a small network of investors raises questions about accountability. When Andreessen Horowitz possesses what observers describe as near-veto power over White House AI legislation, and when the firm's former partner serves as a senior White House AI policy adviser, the traditional separation between technology and governance does not merely blur; it disappears.

Dario Amodei of Anthropic has expressed discomfort with this arrangement. “I think I'm deeply uncomfortable with these decisions being made by a few companies, by a few people,” he told Fortune in November 2025. “And this is one reason why I've always advocated for responsible and thoughtful regulation of the technology.” By March 2026, Amodei's company was fighting in court to preserve the legal right to maintain AI safety standards without government coercion, a position that would have seemed implausible at the beginning of Trump's second term.

The Contours of a Divided Future

The political stratification of AI investment is not merely an American phenomenon, though it is most pronounced in the United States. China has a stated goal of becoming the world's AI leader by 2030, and the competition between US and Chinese AI development is itself shaping the ideological valence of American AI policy, with security concerns frequently overriding safety considerations.

The Stargate Project exemplifies this dynamic. The joint venture intends to allocate $500 billion over four years. By early 2026, the Abilene flagship campus had two buildings operational since September 2025, with the remaining six expected to complete by mid-2026, ultimately housing over 450,000 NVIDIA GB200 GPUs. Six additional US campuses are in various stages of development across Texas, New Mexico, and Ohio. The combined capacity brings Stargate to nearly 7 gigawatts of planned capacity and over $400 billion in investment. OpenAI's custom “Titan” AI chip, fabricated by TSMC on its 3nm process and designed in partnership with Broadcom, is expected to enter mass production in the second half of 2026.

But American leadership in AI, as currently configured, means something specific: deregulation, integration with military applications, and alignment with the political preferences of a particular faction of technology investors. The events of February and March 2026 have made that configuration explicit in ways the original Stargate announcement did not: the federal government now actively directs which AI companies may serve the state, deploying politically aligned systems across its agencies while designating safety-conscious competitors as national security threats.

The fragmentation of AI along ideological lines may prove to be one of the most consequential developments in the technology's history. Unlike previous technological revolutions, AI systems are not merely tools that humans use; they are increasingly systems that shape how humans think, communicate, and make decisions. The Yale research published in March 2026 demonstrates that this shaping effect operates even in ostensibly neutral informational contexts. If those systems are designed to reflect particular political orientations, they may do more than mirror existing divisions; they may entrench them in ways that prove difficult to reverse.

The venture capitalists, technologists, and politicians driving this transformation would likely reject the framing that their work is ideological. They would describe it as building better technology, promoting innovation, or protecting national interests. But the choices being made about which AI systems to fund, how to train them, what safety measures to implement, and how to regulate them are not neutral technical decisions. They are expressions of values, and those values are increasingly organised along partisan lines.

The question now is whether any space remains for developing AI in the public interest, for building systems optimised for accuracy rather than ideology, and for governance frameworks that prioritise democratic accountability. Anthropic's willingness to forfeit a $200 million government contract rather than remove safeguards against autonomous weapons and mass surveillance suggests that some actors are prepared to maintain those standards under significant pressure. Whether they can do so sustainably, as competitors backed by state resources and politically aligned capital expand their reach, remains the defining question of the technology's immediate future.

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Tim Green UK-based Systems Theorist & Independent Technology Writer

Tim explores the intersections of artificial intelligence, decentralised cognition, and posthuman ethics. His work, published at smarterarticles.co.uk, challenges dominant narratives of technological progress while proposing interdisciplinary frameworks for collective intelligence and digital stewardship.

His writing has been featured on Ground News and shared by independent researchers across both academic and technological communities.

ORCID: 0009-0002-0156-9795 Email: tim@smarterarticles.co.uk

The troubled conscience, in view of God's judgment, has no remedy against desperation and eternal death, unless it takes hold of the forgiveness of sins by grace, freely offered in Christ Jesus, which if it can apprehend, it may then be at rest. Then it can boldly say: I seek not active or working righteousness, for if I had it, I could not trust it, neither dare I set it against the judgment of God. Then I abandon myself from all active righteousness, both of my own and of God's law, and embrace only that passive righteousness, which is the righteousness of grace, mercy, and forgiveness of sins. I rest only upon that righteousness, which is the righteousness of Christ and of the Holy Ghost.

— Martin Luther, “Declaration” in his Commentary on Galatians

It doesn't get any better than this, does it?

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In Summary: * Happy that my Texas Rangers won their game against the Chicago Cubs this afternoon. Somewhat apprehensive about the storms that are supposed to hit us later tonight then continuing through tomorrow morning. Lord knows we need the rain, but we can do without the hail and high winds. I do take some consolation in the weather maps showing the heaviest weather hitting counties to the West and North of us, then sliding away from us to the North and East.

Prayers, etc.: * I have a daily prayer regimen I try to follow throughout the day from early morning, as soon as I roll out of bed, until head hits pillow at night. Details of that regimen are linked to my link tree, which is linked to my profile page here.

Starting Ash Wednesday, 2026, I've added this daily prayer as part of the Prayer Crusade Preceding the 2026 SSPX Episcopal Consecrations.

Health Metrics: * bw= 230.49 lbs. * bp= 150/88 (66)

Exercise: * morning stretches, balance exercises, kegel pelvic floor exercises, half squats, calf raises, wall push-ups

Diet: * 06:15 – 1 ham & cheese sandwich * 07:15 – 2 crispy oatmeal cookies * 09:50 – air-popped popcorn * 12:15 – biscuit & jam, hash browns, sausage, scrambled eggs, pancakes * 14:50 – home made meat & vegetable soup, fresh mango

Activities, Chores, etc.: * 05:00 – listen to local news talk radio * 05:45 – bank accounts activity monitored * 06:00 – read, write, pray, follow news reports from various sources, surf the socials, and nap * 13:20 – watching MLB Spring Training Game on MLB+, Toronto Blue Jays, vs. Atlanta Braves * 15:05 – now following two MLB Spring Training Games: 1.) Diamond Backs and Dodgers, live video and audio on MLB TV, and 2.) Cubs and Rangers, live scores and stats on MLB Gameday screen * 17:17 – and the Rangers beat the Cubs 8 to 3. Go Rangers! (Don't know what happened to the D'Backs and Dodgers. I lost their feed in early innings and never got it back.) * 18:00 – tuned into 1200 WOAI, the flagship station for the San Antonio Spurs, for pregame coverage then the call of tonight's game vs. the Boston Celtics.

Chess: * 14:00 – moved in all pending CC games

A repatologização como projecto político: quando a direita se une contra a autodeterminação.

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No dia 19 de março, a Assembleia da República vai decidir se Portugal continua a reconhecer que as pessoas trans existem sem pedir licença à medicina.

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No próximo dia 19 de março, três partidos da direita portuguesa — Chega, PSD e CDS-PP — vão levar à Assembleia da República projectos de lei cujo objectivo é um só: desmantelar a Lei n.º 38/2018, que consagra o direito à autodeterminação da identidade de género. Não são três iniciativas independentes. É uma ofensiva coordenada contra a existência jurídica das pessoas trans em Portugal. E é preciso chamá-la pelo nome.

Bandeira Trans – Identidade e Direito. A luta pela autodeterminação de género em Portugal enfrenta uma nova ofensiva parlamentar. | Fotografia de Lena Balk (2020) – Uso gratuito sob a Licença da Unsplash

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O Chega quer a revogação pura e simples da lei e o regresso a um modelo de diagnóstico clínico obrigatório. O PSD, pela mão de Hugo Soares — o mesmo que em 2015 propôs um referendo sobre a adopção por casais homossexuais e que, dias antes deste debate, não hesitou em invocar cinicamente os direitos das minorias e das mulheres para justificar o apoio cobarde de Portugal ao ataque dos EUA ao Irão —, apresenta um projecto que restaura o regime da Lei n.º 7/2011, devolvendo a profissionais de saúde o poder de decidir quem pode ou não alterar a menção do sexo no registo civil.

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https://youtu.be/vicrCqQcNkY

Entre as Lajes e a Lei 38: A Hipocrisia Homonacionalista de Hugo Soares

Um exemplo claro de retórica homonacionalista, onde Hugo Soares (PSD) invoca a proteção de mulheres e minorias no Irão para legitimar o apoio militar aos EUA , contrastando com a ofensiva contra a autodeterminação de género em Portugal agendada para 19 de março.

Extrato da Reunião Plenária de 4 de março de 2026. Intervenção: Hugo Soares (PSD) sobre o apoio logístico aos EUA e a condenação do regime iraniano em nome das mulheres e minorias. | Duração do corte: 23 segundos (De 00:27:24 — 00:27:47). | Fonte Original: Canal Parlamento – Reunião Plenária de 04/03/2026

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A hipocrisia é cirúrgica: os direitos das minorias servem para justificar uma guerra, mas não para proteger pessoas trans em Portugal. O CDS-PP, por sua vez, quer proibir a prescrição de bloqueadores hormonais a menores de 18 anos em contexto de incongruência de género. Três projectos, um só gesto: retirar às pessoas trans o direito de se nomearem a si mesmas.

Sejamos precisos. A alteração da menção do sexo no registo civil é um acto administrativo. Não implica cirurgias. Não implica tratamentos hormonais. Não implica qualquer procedimento médico. É papel. É reconhecimento jurídico. E é exactamente isso que a direita quer condicionar. A confusão deliberada entre reconhecimento legal e intervenção clínica é a grande mentira desta ofensiva. Quem a repete sabe o que está a fazer.

Reintroduzir a exigência de diagnóstico clínico significa, na prática, obrigar pessoas trans a provar perante um painel de especialistas que a sua identidade é real. Significa devolver ao poder médico a capacidade de validar ou recusar a existência jurídica de alguém. Paul B. Preciado chamou a isto farmacopolítica: o Estado como regulador dos corpos dissidentes, distribuindo ou negando o acesso à identidade conforme critérios que não são científicos — são disciplinares. Judith Butler, há mais de três décadas, demonstrou que o género não é uma essência que a medicina possa certificar — é uma construção performativa que o poder reitera ou pune. Exigir um diagnóstico é precisamente reiterar a ficção de um género verdadeiro, acessível apenas por validação institucional.

A ciência fala contra a direita. E fala em português. A Sociedade Portuguesa de Sexologia Clínica emitiu um parecer técnico-científico sobre o projecto do Chega que não deixa margem para dúvidas: a iniciativa assenta em premissas que contradizem o consenso clínico internacional. Chamar ideologia à disforia de género, como faz o Chega, é negacionismo científico. A Organização Mundial de Saúde retirou a incongruência de género da categoria de perturbações mentais na CID-11. O parecer da SPSC vai mais longe e recorda que as dificuldades de saúde mental observadas em pessoas trans estão associadas ao estigma social e ao minority stress — não à identidade de género em si. Traduzindo: o problema não é ser trans. O problema é o que a sociedade faz a quem é trans. Legislar para aumentar o estigma é legislar para aumentar o sofrimento. Quem apresenta estes projectos de lei sabe-o — e fá-lo na mesma, porque o sofrimento das pessoas trans é rentável eleitoralmente.

Há um silêncio na proposta do PSD que merece ser nomeado. O projecto não faz qualquer referência às protecções relativas a pessoas intersexo menores de idade previstas na lei actual. A Lei n.º 38/2018 estabelece que, salvo risco comprovado para a saúde, intervenções cirúrgicas ou farmacológicas que modifiquem as características sexuais de menores intersexo não devem ser realizadas até que a pessoa possa manifestar a sua identidade de género. O PSD apaga esta disposição. O silêncio institucional sobre os corpos intersexo é sempre cúmplice da violência cirúrgica exercida sobre crianças cujos corpos não cabem na norma binária. Omitir não é esquecer. É autorizar.

Nada disto acontece no vazio. O relatório anual da ILGA-Europe de 2026 é categórico: a Europa entrou numa nova fase de regressão democrática. O que antes eram ataques pontuais contra pessoas LGBTI+ é agora política estruturada — limitação de direitos, criminalização, silenciamento. A Geórgia equipara relações homossexuais ao incesto. A Rússia classifica o movimento LGBTI+ como extremista. O Reino Unido redefine legalmente o conceito de mulher com base no sexo biológico. A administração Trump revoga protecções contra a discriminação de pessoas trans. É nesta companhia que a direita portuguesa quer colocar o país.

Mas há uma contra-corrente — e a direita portuguesa está do lado errado dela. Em fevereiro de 2026, o Parlamento Europeu aprovou uma resolução que recomenda o reconhecimento pleno das mulheres trans como mulheres, considerando a sua inclusão essencial para a eficácia das políticas de igualdade de género: 340 votos a favor, 141 contra, 68 abstenções. A extrema-direita e os conservadores ficaram em minoria. A resolução abrange ainda a protecção mais ampla de todas as pessoas LGBTIQ+, exigindo que a UE assuma a liderança na luta contra os movimentos antigénero. A Comissão Europeia lançou uma nova estratégia de igualdade LGBTIQ+ para 2026-2030 que nomeia explicitamente mulheres e homens trans. Enquanto a Europa institucional reconhece, a direita portuguesa quer revogar. Enquanto o Parlamento Europeu vota pela dignidade, o parlamento português agenda o retrocesso.

Do lado esquerdo do hemiciclo, o Bloco de Esquerda apresentou, pela mão de Fabian Figueiredo, um projecto que visa reforçar a aplicação da Lei n.º 38/2018 — orientações para escolas, formação para profissionais, mecanismos de apoio a estudantes trans. É necessário. Mas não basta. Dean Spade tem argumentado que os sistemas administrativos de classificação de género são, por natureza, mecanismos de controlo — e que a luta pela autodeterminação não se ganha apenas nos parlamentos. Ganha-se nas ruas, nas escolas, nos locais de trabalho, em cada espaço onde um corpo dissidente é forçado a justificar a sua existência.

O debate de 19 de março não é sobre procedimentos administrativos. É sobre quem tem o poder de definir quem somos. A direita portuguesa, colada numa ofensiva que vai de Budapeste a Washington, quer devolver esse poder ao Estado, à medicina e à norma. A nossa resposta é a mesma de sempre: os nossos corpos, a nossa palavra e a recusa absoluta de pedir licença para existir.

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1. Projeto de Lei do Chega (CH): Objetivo: Revogação total da lei atual e regresso ao modelo de diagnóstico clínico obrigatório. Link/Referência: Projeto de Lei n.º 391/XVI/1.ª – Revogação da Lei n.º 38/2018.2.

2. Projeto de Lei do PSDObjetivo: Restaurar o regime da Lei n.º 7/2011, exigindo que profissionais de saúde validem a alteração do sexo no registo civil. O artigo nota ainda que este projeto omite as proteções para pessoas intersexo.Link/Referência: Projeto de lei n.º 486/XVII/1ª – Alteração ao regime jurídico da identidade de género.

3. Projeto de Lei do CDS-PPObjetivo: Proibir a prescrição de bloqueadores hormonais a menores de 18 anos em contexto de incongruência de género.Link/Referência: Projeto de Lei n.º 479/XVI/1.ª – Proteção de menores em cuidados de saúde de género.

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#cuir #kuir #trans #autodeterminação #lei38 #direitostrans #portugal #assembleia #repatologização #SPSC #intersexo #LGBTI #feminismo #descolonial

There is a kind of prayer that only emerges after time has softened the sharp edges of memory. It is not the prayer we pray when we are desperate for something to happen, when our hands are clenched and our hearts are racing and our words come out hurried and breathless because we believe that if God would just give us this one thing, everything would finally fall into place. Those prayers are honest and sincere, but they are still shaped by the limited vision of a human heart that can only see the next few steps of the road ahead. The prayer I find myself praying now is different. It is slower. It is quieter. It carries the weight of years and the humility that comes from realizing how many times I was absolutely convinced I knew what I needed, only to discover later that what I wanted would have led me somewhere far less beautiful than where God ultimately guided me. So this prayer begins with gratitude, not for the things that came easily, but for the things that never arrived at all. Thank you, God, for protecting me from what I thought I wanted.

When we are young in faith, and sometimes even when we have walked with God for decades, we tend to interpret silence as absence and closed doors as rejection. We bring our requests before heaven with the quiet assumption that the best possible outcome is the one that matches our plans. We imagine the job that would make everything better, the relationship that would complete our lives, the opportunity that would finally place us on the path we believe we were meant to walk. And when those things do not come, the human heart often moves through a season of confusion. We wonder if we prayed incorrectly, if we were overlooked, if somehow the door remained closed because we were not worthy enough to step through it. Yet time has a way of revealing something far more profound than the immediate answer we were seeking. Time slowly teaches us that God's no is not rejection. It is protection.

I look back now at moments that once felt like disappointment and realize they were quiet acts of mercy. There were relationships I begged for that would have anchored my heart to people who were not meant to walk beside me for the long journey. At the time, those losses felt devastating because the human heart does not easily release something it has already imagined building a life around. But now, with distance and perspective, I see what God could see all along. I see the conflicts that would have grown, the misaligned values that would have slowly worn down the soul, the compromises that would have quietly pulled me away from the person I was meant to become. The door closed not because love was denied, but because a deeper kind of love was protecting me from a future that would have slowly eroded the peace God intended for my life.

There were also opportunities I chased with everything I had. I remember praying for certain paths to open with a level of certainty that felt almost unshakable. In those moments I was convinced that if God allowed that one opportunity to unfold, it would validate every effort I had poured into reaching it. Yet the opportunity never came, and for a while the absence of that breakthrough felt like failure. It is humbling to admit how long it sometimes takes to recognize the wisdom of divine restraint. Only later did I begin to notice the unseen redirections that followed those disappointments. Because the path that closed forced me to explore a different road, and that road slowly became the place where my voice, my purpose, and my calling began to take shape in ways I could never have predicted when I first asked for something else entirely.

One of the quiet truths of faith is that God's guidance often appears in the form of absence rather than presence. We tend to celebrate the doors that open, the breakthroughs that arrive, and the moments when our prayers seem to unfold exactly as we hoped. Those are beautiful moments and they deserve gratitude. But there is another category of divine work that rarely receives the same recognition. It is the silent intervention that prevents us from stepping into situations that would have drained our spirit, confused our direction, or slowly led us away from the life God designed for us. Those interventions rarely announce themselves with thunder. Instead they appear as delays, detours, unanswered emails, unexpected changes, and circumstances that shift just enough to redirect our steps.

In the middle of those experiences it is easy to feel frustrated. The human mind is wired to search for control and clarity, and when life refuses to follow the outline we carefully constructed, the uncertainty can feel unsettling. Yet faith invites us to consider the possibility that the unseen wisdom of God is operating far beyond the horizon of our immediate understanding. What appears to us as a delay may actually be a timing adjustment designed to align our lives with people and opportunities that have not yet arrived. What appears to us as a closed door may actually be the gentle hand of God steering us away from something that would have entangled us in unnecessary hardship.

I think about the prayers I prayed years ago, and I sometimes smile at the confidence I carried into those conversations with God. I truly believed I knew what would make my life complete. I imagined that if certain relationships had survived, if certain plans had succeeded, if certain dreams had unfolded exactly as I envisioned them, everything would have aligned perfectly. Yet standing where I am now, I can see how fragile those imagined futures really were. They were built on partial understanding, incomplete information, and emotional impulses that had not yet been refined by experience. God, in His patience, allowed me to feel the sincerity of those prayers without granting the outcomes that would have trapped me inside them.

There is a moment in every believer's life when gratitude begins to expand beyond answered prayers and into a deeper appreciation for the prayers that never materialized. That shift does not happen overnight. It grows slowly as we observe the way our lives unfold over time. We begin to notice the people who eventually entered our story, the opportunities that emerged from unexpected directions, and the ways our character matured through seasons that initially felt like loss. With enough distance, those once painful disappointments begin to reveal themselves as quiet turning points that protected our future.

The truth is that God sees connections we cannot see. He understands the ripple effects of decisions that have not yet happened and the unseen consequences of paths we are eager to walk. When we pray for something, we are often focusing on the immediate benefit we imagine it will bring. God, however, is considering the full arc of our life. He is thinking about who we are becoming, the influence we will carry, the people we will impact, and the spiritual depth that will shape the way we move through the world. When a request conflicts with that larger vision, the most loving answer God can give is no.

That kind of love can be difficult to recognize in the moment because it does not always feel comforting at first. It feels like confusion. It feels like waiting. It feels like watching something slip through your fingers that you were certain belonged in your future. But over time the wisdom of divine restraint begins to emerge. The very thing we once believed would complete our happiness reveals itself as something that would have limited our growth or redirected our lives away from the deeper purpose God was preparing.

Faith matures when we begin to trust not only the yes of God but also the no. We learn to believe that every response from heaven carries intention, even when that intention is not immediately clear. The story of Scripture reminds us repeatedly that God's plans unfold across timelines far longer than our own expectations. Abraham waited decades for promises to materialize. Joseph endured years of hardship before the purpose of his journey became visible. The disciples themselves often misunderstood the path Jesus was walking until the resurrection revealed what had been unfolding all along.

These stories remind us that God's perspective stretches across generations while ours often focuses on the next few months or years. The no we receive today may be protecting us from something we would only understand years later. The door that closes today may be guiding us toward a different environment where our gifts will flourish in ways we never anticipated. When we begin to see life through that lens, our prayers shift from demands into conversations filled with trust.

As the years move forward, something remarkable begins to happen inside the human heart that has walked with God through both answered and unanswered prayers. The heart begins to recognize patterns that were invisible before. What once looked like random disappointment begins to reveal itself as careful direction. Moments that seemed confusing begin to line up like quiet markers along a path that was being shaped long before we understood where it was leading. When I look back across my life now, I no longer see a collection of things that did not work out. I see a series of divine interventions that protected my future long before I had the wisdom to recognize what I was being protected from.

There were seasons when I prayed with absolute conviction that something needed to happen. I believed certain relationships were meant to continue. I believed certain doors needed to open. I believed certain answers needed to arrive quickly because the urgency in my heart felt overwhelming. In those moments, the silence of heaven felt almost confusing because my request felt sincere and heartfelt. Yet the passage of time revealed something that could never have been understood in the moment of asking. Those requests, if granted, would have altered the direction of my life in ways that would have quietly led me away from the deeper calling God had prepared.

It is humbling to admit how often we measure blessing by immediate satisfaction rather than long-term alignment with God's purpose. The human heart tends to interpret fulfillment through the lens of comfort, validation, and emotional relief. We imagine that the right relationship will finally quiet our loneliness, that the right opportunity will finally prove our worth, and that the right answer will finally remove the uncertainty that makes life feel unpredictable. But God measures fulfillment differently. He measures it through the lens of transformation, growth, character, and the quiet shaping of a soul that is learning how to trust Him beyond what can be immediately understood.

When I reflect on the doors that never opened, I realize that many of them would have placed me in environments that looked promising on the surface but carried hidden tensions beneath them. Some would have surrounded me with influences that slowly diluted the voice God was shaping inside my life. Others would have tied my future to circumstances that were never meant to sustain the kind of purpose God had written into my heart. At the time, I could not see those things. I could only see what I thought I wanted. Yet God's wisdom was already working beyond the horizon of my understanding.

There is something profoundly comforting about realizing that God's protection does not always arrive in dramatic form. Sometimes it comes through the quiet closing of a door that we tried desperately to open. Sometimes it appears in the form of a delay that forces us to grow into the person we will eventually need to be. Sometimes it arrives through the gradual dissolving of plans that once seemed perfect but were never meant to carry the full weight of our future. In each of those moments, what looks like disappointment is actually divine guidance gently redirecting our steps.

One of the most beautiful transformations in the life of faith occurs when gratitude expands to include the things that never happened. That kind of gratitude does not emerge from denial or forced optimism. It grows naturally from the realization that God's vision for our lives is broader and wiser than our immediate desires. When we begin to recognize how many unseen dangers we were quietly steered away from, our perspective begins to shift. The unanswered prayers that once felt painful become reminders that we were never navigating life alone.

There is a deep peace that settles into the soul when we understand that God's no is not the end of the story. It is simply the redirection of the path. What we thought we were losing was often the doorway to something far greater than we could have imagined at the time. That greater path does not always reveal itself immediately. Sometimes it unfolds slowly, step by step, as God shapes our character and prepares our hearts for the opportunities that will eventually appear.

Looking back now, I can see how many moments of protection were woven quietly into the story of my life. There were relationships that ended before they could turn into lifelong entanglements that would have drained the joy from my spirit. There were opportunities that slipped away just before they could pull my focus away from the calling that was slowly emerging inside me. There were delays that forced me to develop patience, humility, and resilience that I would later rely on when the path became more demanding.

At the time, none of those moments felt like protection. They felt like confusion, uncertainty, and sometimes even heartbreak. Yet the wisdom of time reveals what emotion could not see. Each of those moments was a quiet act of mercy. Each closed door was a hand gently guiding my life away from something that would have led me somewhere far less fulfilling than where God ultimately brought me.

Faith deepens when we begin to trust not only what God gives but also what God withholds. We start to realize that divine love operates with a level of foresight that we simply do not possess. While we are asking for what we think will make us happy today, God is shaping a life that will sustain meaning, purpose, and spiritual depth for decades to come. The things we thought we needed immediately were often distractions from the path that would eventually lead us toward something much more meaningful.

The prayer of gratitude that rises from this realization carries a different tone than the urgent prayers we once prayed. It is quieter and more reflective. It acknowledges that the journey has been guided even when we did not recognize the guidance at the time. It thanks God not only for the blessings that arrived but also for the dangers that were quietly avoided. It recognizes that protection often looks like loss in the moment but reveals itself as mercy when seen through the lens of time.

So this prayer becomes deeply personal. Thank you, God, for the relationships that did not last because they were never meant to shape the rest of my life. Thank you for the opportunities that slipped away because they would have pulled me away from the work you were preparing inside me. Thank you for the plans that collapsed because they were built on assumptions that could not carry the weight of the future you were designing. Thank you for the delays that forced me to slow down, reflect, and grow into the person who would one day recognize the wisdom of your timing.

There is a quiet confidence that grows in the heart when we begin to see life this way. It does not mean that disappointment disappears entirely. It simply means that disappointment no longer has the power to shake our trust in God's guidance. We begin to understand that every season carries purpose, even when that purpose is not immediately visible. The delays, the detours, the unexpected turns in the road all become part of a larger story that God is unfolding with patience and care.

When someone asks why something did not work out the way they hoped, I often think about how many times that same question lived inside my own heart. I remember the moments when I wished certain outcomes had been different. But standing where I am now, I realize that many of those outcomes would have quietly led me away from the life God intended for me to live. The things I thought I lost were actually the things that cleared the path for something better to appear later.

This understanding changes the way we pray. Instead of approaching God with the assumption that we already know the best possible outcome, we begin to pray with a deeper openness. We bring our hopes honestly before Him, but we also acknowledge that His vision extends far beyond our own. We trust that every response carries wisdom, even when that wisdom takes time to reveal itself.

The longer I walk through life with that perspective, the more I realize that the greatest blessings are often the ones that arrive after we release our insistence on controlling the outcome. When we loosen our grip on the specific form we believe our future must take, we create space for God to reveal possibilities we never considered. Those possibilities often lead to experiences, relationships, and opportunities that are far richer than the ones we once believed we needed.

So this message, this reflection, this prayer between a human heart and the God who has guided it through years of both clarity and confusion, ends with gratitude that is deeper than it once was. Not because life unfolded exactly the way I expected, but because it did not. The very things I once believed would define my happiness were quietly removed from my path so that something better could take their place.

Thank you, God, for protecting me from what I thought I wanted. Thank you for every closed door that kept me from stepping into a future that would have limited the person you were shaping me to become. Thank you for every delay that forced me to grow in patience, humility, and trust. Thank you for every unanswered prayer that quietly redirected my steps toward something more meaningful than I could have imagined at the time.

And if there is someone reading these words right now who is wondering why something in their life did not work out the way they hoped, I want them to understand something that took me years to fully grasp. God's silence is not abandonment. His no is not rejection. His delays are not indifference. They are often the quiet movements of a loving Father guiding your life away from something that would have limited your future and toward something that will one day make perfect sense.

The story you are living is still unfolding. The doors that closed behind you may have been protecting a path you have not yet discovered. And one day, when enough time has passed for the larger picture to come into focus, you may find yourself praying the same prayer I am praying now.

Your friend, Douglas Vandergraph

Thank you, God, for the things that never happened.

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