• Another multi-week Week Notes!
• 🏅 I ran the 10K for the Army Run! I was consistent with last year's time, with my usual 65 minutes. To be more exact, this year I was 17 seconds slower, but I am still happy that I kept my pace for the full 10Km. It was a gorgeous day, not too cold, not too hot, perfect for running.
• 📘 I got a new cover for my Kobo, since my original one was falling apart. I had to get a knock-off copy, since Kobo stopped selling the original ones for the Kobo Libra H2O 2019. But it’s very similar to the original and works as intended.
• 🎲 I got a board game for two players: “7 Wonders Duel”. We haven't tried it yet, but I'm excited to see how it works. And while we were at the store, we got two expansion packs for Munchkin: “Unnatural Axe” and “Munchkin Enhancers”.
• 🎭 I've had days with extremely low energy these past few weeks, and I'm doing a full bloodwork evaluation for a check-up.
• ⏪ I felt lost and a bit overwhelmed at some point at work because I didn't have clarity on where to write my next actions and where to store digital information. I was trying to get a hybrid system going with Nirvana, my digital Calendar, and the Bullet Journal, and it became a mess. I decided that I want to minimize digital apps as much as possible.
• 💭 Thinking about doing a 30-day digital declutter next month.
• ⌨️ But I still enjoy typing long streams of consciousness entries. Some days it's nice to just log into 750 Words and type away. Since I type faster than I write by hand, it serves a different purpose for me: it's all about letting it all out without a filter.
• 📖 I started reading “The Notebook: A History of Thinking on Paper” by Roland Allen. It's super interesting, and it suits my current analog phase well.
• 🪮 I got a haircut!
• 👾 This blog now has a square spot at the Pixel Area! Thanks, Oleh! My square: **Noisy Deadlines · [X:72 Y:11] **at the Echo Heights neighborhood.

📌 Cool online reads

• Pixel Area: A cool online space where you can find personal blogs plotted in a  100×100 coordinate grid created by Oleh Providnyk. Check it out!
• Who is my (pixel) neighbor? by Joel: His own thoughts about Pixel Area, and some of his concerns are similar to mine as well. I believe it’s okay to use AI to help with some tasks, as long as it does not rob the user of their own creativity and critical thinking. The creator of this site is clear on how he created the website, and I think that what he created is super cool blogroll.
• Who I blog for – Sylvia’s Studio: I loved this list, and I want to write one for myself too.
• The AI Doc: Not really the article itself, but the information that this new documentary by The Center of Humane Technology is out and I will watch it soon.
• The Strange Life of a Library Ebook – by Rachel Bachman
• Feeding our books into generative AI risks creating a cultural void | New Scientist
• The Importance of Reading (and Teaching) Cyberpunk in the Age of AI – Reactor

🎧 Listening

• The Wall by Pink Floyd (1979)
• Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath (1970)
• Paranoid by Black Sabbath (1970)
• Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd (1975)
• Human. :II: Nature by Nightwish (2020)

📖 Books I'm Reading

• The Notebook: A History of Thinking on Paper by Roland Allen
• Before, After, Alone by Emma Newman

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#weeknotes

Romanticizing Your Life:

A concept made popular by social media.

Social media…we all have opinions about it.

Like almost anything, there is good and bad. Too much of any good thing can, of course, become obsessive and harmful. Like any resource, you can use it to benefit you, or you can let it suck you down the rabbit hole.

Am I guilty of doom scrolling?

Absolutely.

However , I’ve chosen to look at social media as a valuable resource when used intentionally, and tailored to your interests, especially when created by knowledgeable creators you believe share similar values and goals.

First there was Facebook, which eventually became more of a family affair and then somehow included the entire world and every acquaintance we have ever met! Then came Instagram for me during COVID, along with TikTok. Each of these seem to get a slightly different version of me- each one more raw, less filtered and more daringly myself than the last. 

And honestly? They have become tremendous outlet of self-expression for me, right alongside this blog, which I also started during the pandemic.

Little me used to love to role play.I fantasized about being a beautiful gown boss lady. Imagine that!?

I also revel in the magic of music (although I can barely carry a tune to my utter dismay) and art of dance. I have always prided myself on having a decent sense of humor. Never fully taking myself too seriously for too long. And sometimes I just like seeing myself in the background of my favorite music. Don’t judge. 

A little vain?

Perhaps.

Self-promotion?

Can’t argue. 

Wannabe influencer status?

Hardly. 

And lastly, harmful? 

Unlikely. 

I think if you stay realistic and humble, you should be allowed to express the different parts of yourself. Particularly the parts you don’t always get to express in everyday life.

Being a physician and educator requires one side of me.

Being a mom requires another.

But there is so much more depth and creativity in all of us. So much we have to say. 

Social media has played a positive role in my fitness and health journey over the last few years. The “glow-up,” if you will. This where I  have accumulated insane number of recipes,  workouts and beauty hacks. Heck, I have even shared a few myself! 

But one of my absolute favorite lessons I’ve taken from social media is this concept of romanticizing your life.

The funny thing is, I am certain I’ve been doing this exact thing inherently since I was much younger.Before it was “trending”.  

I’ve always kind of pretended my life was a movie. Not in the delusional sense. More like stepping outside of myself for a moment and realizing, this is my life. This moment, right here.

Sitting somewhere and consciously soaking in the beauty of a particular moment : special or completely mundane, in its entirety.

Because maybe that is really what romanticizing your life means.

Living your life with joy and intention.

Knowing that the gift of time along with our health are the most valuable things we have. Can’t be bought. Can’t be saved for later. And once a moment is gone, you will never live that exact moment again.

Maybe romanticizing your life is really just another way of saying:

Be here. Be present. 

Notice the breeze.

Notice the sky. 

Watching the faces of  your kids when they experience a new destination. 

Watching your parents doing something completely ordinary.

Capturing your kids riding their bikes on a summer evening and the echos of their footsteps on your floors. 

Stay up too late laughing with your siblings in adulthood , when you have an early morning flight to catch!

Sitting poolside with your besties with a glass of Aperol.

Savoring that first bite of food while desperately trying not to burn the roof of your mouth because you were not patient enough to wait! 

Letting the kiss linger for just a few seconds longer. Holding the glance. Staying in bed a few minutes longer. 

Relishing that car ride home from work or drive to the gym with the top down knowing you have an entire hour to yourself to move your body while your favorite songs blast through the speakers.

Notice your cats purring and your dog’s excitement when you come home, follow you around the house, and somehow all end up on your bed waiting for you to join them every night while you drag yourself through your 8 step beauty routine! 

These are the scenes.

Romanticizing your life also means taking ownership of it. YOU are the main character in this beautiful movie of yours. Surely not because everything revolves around you, but because this is the one life you actually get to live and curate parts of it of you are fortunate enough. 

You don’t have to wait for the vacation, the relationship, the milestone, the perfect body or some future version of yourself before you decide your life is worth enjoying.

Take the flight just for the weekend. Dine alone. Call the friend. Wear the outfit you’ve been saving. Buy yourself flowers. Take yourself to the beach to watch the sunset.

Take the selfies and the videos ( you know I love to). You and your loved ones will never be exactly the same as they are right in this moment in time.

Bake the cookies with your kids and have a darn bake-off! Turn an ordinary Tuesday evening into something you will treasure.

Every good movie has ups and downs. Tear jerking moments and utter ridiculous comedy ( of errors at times) and oh boy, the irony! Absolute chaos and absolute boredom. Plot twists. Grief. Isn’t that the achingly beautiful, breathtaking, poignant essence of life?

Romanticizing means living in gratitude.

Because God only knows, life is short.

And unpredictable.

And maybe part of romanticizing your life is also learning not to assign permanence to every single situation or every single person. 

Some moments are fleeting.

And maybe that is okay.

Not everyone who enters your story is meant to stay until the ending. Some people are there for a season. Some for a chapter. Some seemingly for one crazy, beautiful page!

It doesn’t mean it wasn’t real or meaningful.And it certainly doesn’t mean you cannot cherish the good that came from it.

Maybe the point isn’t to hold onto every beautiful thing.

Maybe it’s simply to notice it while it’s here.

To experience it fully.

Romanticize your life. 

It means you noticed.

That you lived it. 

Or YOLO… if you will :)

Publicat la 27 octombrie 2016

În secolul al XXI-lea, în orașul de provincie cu industrie pe cale de dispariție, lipsit de căldură și de apă caldă, și fără perspective de a le redobândi în această iarnă, dar cu hipermarket-uri care atrag cumpărători până și de pe celălalt mal al Dunării, iată că a apărut o librărie! Când am intrat fără o listă clară de cumpărături în (mini-)mall-ul severinean, imediat pe dreapta, am remarcat firma cea mare și roșie cu înscrisuri albe, diverta. De obicei folosesc intrarea dinspre sud, așa că stânga și dreapta, intrarea și ieșirea, sunt repere relative, deci nu vă bazați pe indicațiile mele de orientare. Cât despre remarcarea firmei, putem spune că ea mi-a atras atenția, nu neapărat că am remarcat-o eu.

În câțiva pași am ajuns în fața ușilor mari, de sticlă, larg deschise. Am avut tendința de a face o poză, dar nu am făcut-o (poate mâine, poate într-o altă zi…). Cel mai probabil pachetele surpriză gen „blind date with a book” aflate pe o masă la intrare, un concept nou la diverta, așa cum mi-a spus doamna amabilă de la librărie, m-au făcut să mă îndrept spre ele în loc să mai caut telefonul căruia să-i activez camera foto. Sesiunea foto am lăsat-o pentru mai târziu.


Dintre cele trei categorii menționate în colțul din stânga sus, am ales ficțiunea.


I look and stare so deep in your eyes I touch on you more and more every time When you leave I'm begging you not to go Call your name two or three times in a row

Snow Patrol – Crazy in Love lyrics

(Aș fi pus și clipul aici, dar nu îmi place melodia!)

Abia după ce am deschis pachetul am făcut legătura între prezentarea de pe hârtia de ambalaj și romanul ce se ascundea în spatele acesteia.


Cu ficțiunea am lămurit-o, versurile celor de la Snow Patrol sunt clar indicate, mai rămânea de văzut ce e cu Portland, Oregon. Cum nu am citit trilogia Grey (poate recenziile sunt cele care m-au ținut departe de aceasta), am căutat legătura dintre Grey și Portland. Iată ce am găsit pe International Business Times:

It’s been days since she ended things with Christian, and she’s completely miserable because of it — until he sends her an email on June 8 asking if she wants a ride to José’s art show in Portland. That’s where the new book picks up, with Christian anxiously waiting for Ana to leave work.

Așadar acolo începe acțiunea acestui roman, a acestei noi perspective ce urmează trilogiei.

Inițial mi-am zis că nu are rost să public această postare din motive pur statistice. Blogul meu are puține vizite. Din aceste puține vizite, probabil foarte puțini cititori ai rândurilor mele sunt din Severin, iar dintre aceștia, oare câți vor ajunge la diverta? În plus, reducerea de 10% oferită la toate cărțile cumpărate de la librăria diverta de la mall-ul severinean în această primă lună de la deschidere (mijlocul lui octombrie – mijlocul lui noiembrie), poate că nu e chiar atât de tentantă precum reducerile de până la 30% la cărțile de colorat pentru adulți oferite de carturești.ro, așa cum am aflat de la Vintura Ana-Cristina Butnaru și de prin ale ei Cărți ce tind spre infinit. Dar iată că aici intervin prietenii care m-au convins că nu are rost să fac astfel de calcule când este vorba despre litere! Oare de ce acești prieteni nu se hotărăsc odată să își facă blog, astfel încât să pun un link spre respectivul blog? Deocamdată voi folosi o imagine printre ale cărei comentarii se află și îndemnul meu la scris (sper să nu mă acuzi de încălcarea drepturilor de autor; după ce vei avea propriul blog, promit să leg poza de blogul tău)!


Am folosit poza și pentru că mi-a plăcut foarte mult mesajul! :–)

Despre cadoul surpriză v-am spus? Ei, păi cum să vă spun?! Surpriza vă așteaptă la librărie! Ce ziceți?! Faceți un drum? Poate nu chiar până la cea din Severin, poate doar la librăria cea mai apropiată de voi, sau poate la una online!

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Epilog – 2026

Între timp, roșul firmei care mi-a atras atenția în urmă cu zece ani a fost luat de verdele unei alte librării faimoase de la noi: Cărturești. Există speranță: cărțile au rămas în același spațiu! Mergeți să le vizitați! E imposibil să nu vă îndrăgostiți de vreuna dintre ele!

Place : Assis sur une roche à côté de l'eau, Parc de l'Esplanade de la Pointe-Nord, Tiohtià:ke Date : 2026-09-28, 09:34 HAE Conditions : 13°C (mais on dirait plus froid avec le vent venant du nord-est), ciel couvert et une bruine légère.

Je barre la porte derrière moi vers neuf heures et le corridor beigeasse s'étire devant moi. Je fixe le tapis bleu marin, mon café encore chaud dans la main droite. Un mélange éthiopien d'un torréfacteur local, pas le plus frais, mais c'est de ma faute, ça. Je l'ai acheté il y a plusieurs semaines, et voilà, il m'en reste un tiers de sac ce lundi matin gris. Je sais pas pourquoi j'ai choisi ce jour-là pour aller flâner avec un café... Où est-ce que je vais m'installer pour lire, pour travailler?

Pourtant, les cafés, c'est mon terrain. J'ai fait la majorité de mon bac assis à la grande table de l'ancien Starbucks sur Sainte-Catherine et de la Visitation, où ma carte en or me valait des recharges gratuites et m'a appris à boire mon café noir. À Angus, c’étaient les cafés du secteur, le Sharpe surligné devant les grandes fenêtres qui donnent sur le parc Jean-Duceppe. Je draguais les serveurs des fois, juste pour le geste. Ça rapportait, ici et là: un sourire coquin, un numéro griffonné sur un bout de papier, glissé près des toilettes.

Pas ce matin, en tout cas. Avec un petit salut au portier, je pousse la porte, un soupir m'échappe, et je suis frappé par le vent. J'oublie toujours qu'à Montréal, il y a beaucoup d'endroits qui sont fermés les lundis. Bon. Moi et mon café filons vers les portes grises de la Place-des-Arts, en pleine revitalisation, des barrières et des panneaux colorés essayant, naïvement, de cacher l'ampleur du désordre. L'entrée est à moitié éventrée, tout comme le MAC voisin, tout comme l'Édifice des théâtres. La ville se réécrit sans cesse, un brouillon que je relis de temps à autre pour me souvenir de ses origines et de la façon dont j'ai grandi avec elle.

Le vent et mon café brouillent mon parcours traditionnel vers la rive. Il me faut une autre direction. Je prends le métro, direction Angrignon, jusqu'à McGill avant de transférer au REM. La voix de Caroline Dhavernas réverbère dans le plastique des murs et des sièges du train : « Direction A1: Brossard », et je m'installe avec mon livre du moment, un recueil de poésie de Mosab Abu Toha. Une vue imprenable de la ville déferle devant les fenêtres, mais je suis ailleurs, tremblant à ses côtés dans un camp de réfugiés à Jabalia, en plein génocide. Le son du train et le son des drones résonnent tous les deux dans ma tête, et je ne sais plus lequel appartient à qui. Je débarque à la station Île-des-Sœurs : « Les portes s'ouvriront sur le côté… droit. » Merci, Caro.

Je flâne sur les trottoirs sous le pont Samuel-de-Champlain, vers le parc de L'Esplanade de la Pointe-Nord. La bruine a commencé sans que je m'en rende compte. Je remonte mon capuchon. Le tissu humide se colle à ma nuque, et ça revient, presque un réflexe : Michael Brown, le hoodie comme preuve, comme sentence. Je me concentre sur ma respiration. Je garde mon capuchon. Je continue à marcher.

Une pancarte à l'entrée du parc m'explique que « cet endroit est une esplanade (une plaine) située sur la pointe nord de l'Île des Sœurs. » En tout cas, ce que le nom perd en créativité, il le gagne en clarté, hein? Je ris un peu et je me dirige, comme toujours, vers l'eau. J'y passe un bon moment, accoté sur une roche au bord du fleuve, profitant enfin de mon café et d'un moment de solitude parmi le chaos.

Mes épaules restent hautes, mon pas veut toujours arriver quelque part. Freiner mon élan demande un effort considérable. De ne pas avoir besoin de fuir, au fond. Alors je flâne: je gribouille mon numéro sur des bouts de factures pour qu'on me retienne, et je m'accroche aux accrocs d'un tissu urbain qui ne sait toujours pas m'intégrer. Pas plus que je ne sais démêler, encore, le bruit d'un train de celui d'un drone, quelque part, sous le vent.

Note: event in Serbian, for local audience.

Umetnici često dele opremu, znanja i kontakte, pomažu jedni drugima u pripremi izložbi i pronalaze načine da zajedno rade. Osnivanjem zadruge O.U.R. COOP krenuli smo da razvijamo zajedničko poslovanje kroz koje možemo da udružujemo sredstva, stvaramo plaćene poslove i organizujemo uzajamnu podršku.

U sredu, 7. oktobra u 19 časova, u Galeriji Stara kapetanija u Zemunu, razgovaraćemo o tome kako gradimo zadrugu i šta kroz nju želimo da ostvarimo. Susret organizujemo u saradnji sa Društvom likovnih i primenjenih umetnika Zemuna, sa željom da upoznamo umetničku zajednicu okupljenu oko galerije i udruženja, čujemo iskustva umetnika i razgovaramo o mogućoj saradnji.

Predstavićemo zadrugu i međunarodni projekat Shared Visions, u okviru kojeg je nastala. Govorićemo o onome što već razvijamo, od onlajn galerije do oblika solidarne podrške, o tome šta će uskoro biti pokrenuto i kakvi su nam dalji planovi. Biće prostora za pitanja o tome kako se donose odluke, kako se dele poslovi i šta članstvo podrazumeva, kao i za razgovor o prijemu novih članova i načinima uključivanja.

Zadruga je još na početku, pa nas zanima šta bi umetnicima bilo korisno da zajednički organizuju, koja znanja i resurse žele da podele i u čemu vide prostor za saradnju. Poziv je otvoren za umetnike, radnike u kulturi i sve koje zanima zadružno organizovanje.

O.U.R. COOP je međunarodna socijalna zadruga vizuelnih umetnika i radnika u kulturi, osnovana 2026. godine u Nikšiću, sa sedištem u Beogradu. Članovi zajednički upravljaju zadrugom po principu jedan član, jedan glas.

The event will be held in Serbian, with the possibility of side conversation in English.

Publicat la 18 octombrie 2016

Poate că într-o zi avea să o vadă. Între timp însă, atâtea luni prețioase își urmau cursul, irosite! (pag. 41)

— Tu unde o să dormi? întrebă Port. — Aici, pe jos, lângă tine, spuse ea. (pag. 190)

De ceva vreme am început să îmi notez propoziții, fraze, paragrafe din cărțile pe care le citesc. Uneori acestea ajung în postările de pe blog. Spre deosebire de alte cărți, am constatat că Ceai în Sahara a umplut foarte multe rânduri în fișierul cu citate.

Ecranizarea romanului lui Paul Bowles, Ceai în Sahara, poartă titlul original, The Sheltering Sky. Am mai scris despre Ceai în Sahara în postarea Doar noapte. La mai mult timp după vizionarea filmului am găsit cartea, publicată de Editura Polirom în cadrul seriei (sau colecției) Esențial, cartea fiind indisponibilă la momentul vizionării.

Ca dramatism și tragism al desfășurării evenimentelor din roman (scrisesem „acțiunii”, dar acesta e un termen prea activ pentru ceea ce se petrece printre rândurile cărții), aș asocia talentul de romancier al lui Bowles cu cel de regizor al lui Aronofsky. Și asta nu la modul general, Ceai în Sahara fiind prima carte a lui Bowles care îmi pică în mână, ci la modul particular al asocierii romanului Ceai în Sahara cu filmul The Fountain. Poate mai potrivită ar fi comparația roman–film, dar va veni și rândul acestei comparații.

La filmul The Sheltering Sky (în distribuție, Debra Winger și John Malkovich) nu am regăsit decât o vagă nuanță din esența sentimental-emoțională a romanului… Durata limitată a filmului e o scuză plauzibilă…

🎼🎶🎵 The Police – Tea in the Sahara

This is the first photograph ever made. Captured using a process called 'Heliography' by Nicéphore Niépce. He coated a pewter plate with bitumen (a type of asphalt) that hardened when exposed to light. The unhardened parts were washed away with lavender oil.


Publicat la 4 octombrie 2016

Această cafea instant m-a ținut treaz într-una dintre sesiunile mai dificile din timpul facultății. O linguriță din această cafea o preparam cu ajutorul a 13 picături de apă și o linguriță rasă de zahăr. Mai multe picături de apă nu permiteau cremei să se formeze, iar mai puține închegau zahărul și cafeaua pe linguriță, obținerea cremei fiind imposibilă.

Când pasta formată era gata, adăugam apă fierbinte („nu clocotită”, așa cum scrie acum pe plicurile de 3 în 1). Singura problemă a fost că, pe măsură ce se răcea, cafeaua devenea din ce în ce mai amară. Și cum cafeaua se savurează, nu se dă peste cap, am tot băut licoarea amară…

După ce am terminat acest recipient de cafea, iar examenul pentru care am învățat în timp ce îi savuram conținutul s-a încheiat, nu am mai putut să beau cafea instant mai bine de un an…

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“Hang Gliders” by WhyDolls is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

JOURNAL 28 septembre 2026

Ça me coûte d'évoquer ce qui va suivre mais il faut que je dise.

Le médecin légiste a trouvé des griffures sur le corps de ce salaud sur le cou du côté droit. Des coups rapprochés sur l'avant du tibia droit. Traces récentes. Ça signifie pour lui que la victime a été attaquée par derrière, elle s'est défendue mais elle a très vite cessé. Il pense que l'agresseur a utilisé un lacet pour l'étranger, le flux sanguin est très rapidement coupé entraînant une perte de connaissance très rapide. Les mains de l'agresseur devaient se trouver derrière sa nuque c'est pourquoi elle n'a pu atteindre que le cou. Pour l'enquêteur la voiture devait être garée devant l'entrée, il y a une place arrêt 15 minutes pour les livraisons de la petite boutique à côté, celle-ci ouvre plus tard. Le gérant descend généralement ½ h après shieko. Il n'y a pas d'autre mouvement dans l'immeuble qui n'a que 2 appartements, l’agresseur devait attendre shieko dans un écart derrière l’escalier dans le hall. Il disposait d'au moins 20 minutes. La lutte n'a pas duré plus d'une minute au maximum deux. Il a pu charger le corps dans la voiture, fouiller le sac de shie, trouver le hanko, monter un étage et glisser la lettre sous la porte puis repartir le tout en moins de 20 minutes. Pas un cri pas un bruit.

Notre shie ne s'est pas laissée faire, mais sans entraînement elle ne pouvait rien faire. Ce genre d'agression on a une ou deux secondes pour s’en sortir pas plus à condition de savoir précisément comment faire. Le cerveau cesse très vite d'être capable de réagir. C'est affreux. Les larmes me viennent. Si javais été là... Pardon je ne peux pas dire plus.

#shieko

Our Father Who art in Heaven Hallowed be Thy name Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven Give us this day our daily Bread And forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil

Amen

Jesus is Lord! Come Lord Jesus!

Come Lord Jesus! Christ is Lord!

In open giveness We are aware here In betterance to both And land we knew- at war For rights to know In clean perception This Palestine- is our wherewithal And focus knew- that Israel was- our neighbour Big and brightest- to tombstone Sun The light we leave In prayer with Him,- our God above And to this wonder- of days Marked with new renewal The spaces we feed In higher joy And fusing heights The best of Adam That pensive trial For just one thing

And in our future The time of country Only duty Where begat And shunning then The distant rest Rather here and gold Is at our when And slowly feet To measure bores Into the layer That set us here Groups of shadows And get well soon The World in sleep For conscious due And iron heath Thicket and Wine This duly trust Of wonder

Away war To here is free We sat on Earth- that called us here To time amend And heavenbright Our storied journey To given find Our due Our cross-esteem Forever home By Heaven’s right The furious gale And fast esteem Edge of Heaven To here.

Ebola

Every year- A single year What wild and giving- for the wind And this as whole In temperate rain Notches freely in view The Latin sane of Earth Saw surely by their night view And burying then- Burn the bushes And undertected- to this permafrost And April fourth Lois gone to Will In henchman, rain And Sussex to reply Thereafter, we have a picture In frame of view And Sussex UK- to remark Bundibugyo And fortune of the wind Our rewrite past And wishing East That glory passes by And to Her By esteem in view The silent Thames Earth our river And within reach Laying discord To see the Her Our Patient One To Australia incantation And size of risk To Rome and in this other A grave to country way And in this encounter No free predilection Avading four And avalanche by code Ebola takes the weep To every World Person exclaimed The sighted bar of death In four to nights Wellby at the reel In limerence attacked But Bundibugyo first forthcoming And to us old And raying then The depths of two encore In shiny seas The bedded weapon All of it in trust That time is new In better year Why Ebola rain To everyone in strange And still respite The pack of tetanus there In Scotland though Lights for going out And win upon the watch To leftern rain And probably abandon The sixth to when we were And lightning fold Disuse of six today Effervescent war And timely be That Earth shall take a year In veterance forever The King shall kill a country But as to know The kindness of the law To mass effect our plight And simple off To sullen other Man in time esteem Forbidden night And Covid first At was And distant by So fretting then to raw Places time and code The time is in the way For distant effort Silent redoubt And unification of the Women To prayer for verse In every Victory A Ross in every song And as about The centrist And gut control The seething of our web A thought for night Prepare for me, Ebola And time in every war And as to land The fits of given Heaven Honour praise And distant Heaven By time we pass For fit amends The Bible speaks to Her A stolen wind And lamb to cross The distant cover And forest can be seen Ever gone to know That prayers to Heaven To our God as free In Communion then Faithful of the poor And distant sand, Jerusalem A mighty know Eternal city showing peace And solace still Where are beatings- due to war Apple will anew This time as wrecked And drawing curtain closed The currency of Man This distant time We’ll speak for Heaven I’m watching fortress B In though respite To trade and to keep them Our distant breath And night of others To our page we weep Files to unknown Beseeching you To faith On nine and ten The distant glow become And to Her,- Blind and beautiful And nervous but tonight The species weep Our fortune to the hand A Heaven few And we will wait And verse in one new year As witness then A page for laughter All of justice goes To give and see A prophet if the wood In Dayton will disappoint To simplify and sign On witness trust A fortuned hen To greet the thought of three And as this offer Three times cataclysmic The open wounds of sulphur Evidence be A piling of uncure And in this patience, World To abduct and gather on Our witness free to remember That life is beautiful,- upon you- Intercede The Blessed Virgin knows In Wintertime a Heaven Saving Man And Her the same Reflect and seize the age Falsing peace to war But not in judge The verse is now unknow- receiving bright Then River London train To sow and to deliver What Justice feed In neighbour then A reaping of the flower Medicine night A sparrow to our day And nothing of the story To stop a river Distance dry to Man And knowing then Her Heaven Courted few And copy of esteem The very dry- and cousin first The light shall know and cover Away with you, Ebola.

Tonight I am rattled. I thought I had gotten past being able to be rattled by projection, but I clearly haven't. It sucks to know that someone is likely just verbally lashing out due to their own stress, but they take things so far that it can't be unheard.

I am just not emotionally equipped for the whiplash. I can feel it, or I can numb down, both acknowledging and burying at the same time. It makes me so very tired.

I think I just have to accept that this is part of that person's personality as it has happened numerous times over the last handful of years. But so many promises along those lines were broken tonight.

In the books I'm reading, one of the main characters constantly silently says to himself, “You will not break me.” I don't know how many times I've said that to myself over the last decade or more. A lot. I was taught to put on a brave face, smile, and never let them see you sweat. I've occasionally broken those rules and lived to regret it.

I am concerned about my emotional response. I am concerned about my analytical response. I dislike the emotional manipulation. I simultaneously understand and don't understand it, but that doesn't help. It just makes things worse.

I am trying to carefully journal to get it out of my system without really saying anything too detailed. Trust is so very important to me. Intentional destruction severs something inside of me. I don't really get upset over minor breaches. Everybody screws up at some point. The big ones are a whole other ballgame. Tonight had extra innings. Look at me using sports metaphors like I have a clue about what I'm saying.

As I write this out, I realize that I do not like the position this places me in. I really do not like the position this places me in. I try to be like the Lotus — rooted in earth, flowing with water and air. I think I grow weary of the dance, and wish to sink back into the chilling, dark depths of a solitary escape.

I have been told by more than one person that I simultaneously over-empathize and over-intellectualize. I can't argue that. It has long been my default setting. To do anything other takes a lot of willpower and effort on my part. I've been placing real focus on “compassionate boundaries” the last year or so. Setting up boundaries for this particular person is just really challenging. Really, really challenging. Sometimes it feels like in order to find peace in this world, a person must barricade themselves beyond the stratosphere. A dangerous act of self-innihilation for sure.

I made myself sleep and have started my day. I dither between vacancy and expulsion. Is it possible to truly become tapped out? I think maybe it is. I know that the fire still burns within. I can feel it there — a slumbering coal in wait. But I am unsure if I desire to kindle. My worldly observations are not for the faint of heart, and the instinct to retract my energy is overriding the illusion of hope's success. I wonder if this is what it feels to be the walking dead.

Mask back in place, I ready myself for another step. I am becoming void. Just one... more... surrender...

© 2026 AnOublietteofThought. All rights reserved.

Since using a friend’s analog gear..

I have been slowly falling in love with the idea of recording the sound I want to make, then not mixing it to death. I may have altruistic reasons, but the main reason is that it requires less mixing. Mixing isn’t my favorite, nor am I terrific at it. It makes sense for me to minimize it since I have to do it. 

Start with a board, maybe? (I really don’t know. Just what I did.)

This first involved me getting an analog board with preamps. The preamps on every channel of the Model 24 from Tascam give me a lot right out of the gate towards sounds that require less mixing. Overall, every track is less “plinky” than I got from straight into the Scarlet from Focusrite. You can adjust gain and incoming compression. The raw track before mixing sounds better than its counterpart in a typical interface set up. That is what I am wanting. The better the raw tracks, the less mixing, I hope. Lol. 

Use all the damn rooms.

I have been learning how to use all different rooms in the house for tracking and different mics. I have a tiny insulated room for mixing music, but I am discovering it sounds better to track other places. I have a big Chameleon Labs TS-2 Tube Microphone; it likes space. As does The Myrtle from Ear Trumpet Labs. I have learned that my Shinybox 46 MXL ribbon mic often sounds good pointed at an open door. I have learned that my SM57 clones, the GLS ES57’s, have different characteristics in different rooms and all of them usable. I have found the garage to be indispensable for certain amps, vocals, and mics. Instead of, “what mic am I going to use?” I think more about the room. This is new. This is only since I have been concerned with mixing less. I guess the main tip so far is, “Engineer more to mix less.”

How’s your EQ? Can you make that easier?

One of the things I love about the Model 24 is the EQ. I know what knob to instinctively turn if I hear a boxy sound. I never got there with computer EQ. These are simple on the board: 4 knobs per track. It is very easy to hear the effect of each knob. That’s the EQ. Less mixing.

Good gain is also less mixing.

Gain is a fickle friend. I have additional control there with the board. I think that on top of the preamps really helps to lay down a strong signal. I have something else:

Not long ago, I found a new DBX rack mount 266XS gate and compressor. I discovered I can record with this on an insert with funny cables, and it helps immensely. If I take time to set the gate just right, it saves a ton of mixing out noise. This is also in the chain after the preamps but before the disc. I think this device helps everything sound better. In football jargon, this device is loaded with “intangibles.” Less mixing.  

Learn mics. Many don’t require a lot with proper room and good signal.

I got a ribbon mic not long ago, (the Shinybox 46MXL I mentioned earlier). Many times, recording guitar especially, it is good to go after it is tracked. I might have to edit it, turn it up or down, but that ribbon saves me a ton of mixing.

A cheap easy mastering solution that really is fun. (verified)

One thing I REALLY hate about mixing is mastering. Mastering is the bane of my existence. What I have discovered here is called TAPE 16 DAW. It is a virtual tape machine. It has 16 tracks. I only ever use two. Right and Left. I find this thing super forgiving as well as very rigid. The thing is, I like where it is both. The rigidity keeps me on track, and the forgiving shoots out nice surprises. If you want a mastering solution, or a 16 track “doing it old school” DAW, I can’t recommend this enough. I could see this being handy in a host of different processes. It is on sale at the moment, 30 dollars!

Free Palestine by Djembe Funk

I did all this stuff mentioned on this tune. I am proud of how it came out. I played all the parts. I mastered on the virtual tape machine. I mixed, but I didn’t mix a lot. So here, you are for real listening to me have fun. I am putting effort into the making of music. I don’t care about what comes after. I am focusing on the creating part. Nothing kills my vibe for music more than computer DAWs. I can only do an hour or so at a time before I get too frustrated to make good decisions. But this method here, I did this whole song from start to finish in a day. Slept on it. Released after mastering on tape the next morning. And, I feel good. See, I don’t like AI or social media. So I try to work around that so I can feel good instead of making compromises and choices that make me feel bad. 

Free download code from Bandcamp!

About the topic

I don’t know that I know anyone who would be offended by “Free Palestine” except a few concert promoters. Haha. A couple of friends have given me the tough topic talk. But I don’t think it’s tough. Most folks are just wrong, and that’s what is tough for them. Coming out against bombing schools isn’t tough. But coming out against your friends might be. I don’t have that issue. lol.

I hope you find a more fun way.

I know folks out there who want to do creative things without AI or skeezy operatives can do this. It is hard, at first. But you never know, you may wind up saving a ton in time and frustration. Good Luck, Kelly.