Behold the face of Vorak!

This month I've finally got round to replacing my hand-drawn placeholder image with a set of placeholder images of Vorak with different facial expressions. After various attempts at drawing these or looking for appropriate stock art, I finally realised I could just...use emojis. So these are all created by using the Emojipedia emoji mashup page to combine the alien face emoji with various expressions.

To be clear, these are still placeholders, and I'll commission some real art for the final game—but now I can finally have Vorak's expression change based on what's happening.

Apart from mashing emojis together, I've spent most of the month rewriting the chapter where you crash land on the moon after destroying Vorak's command ship. This included fleshing out the character of General Zorg, the giant alien cyborg who leads Vorak's ground forces.

I also revised the chapter where the hero is captured and Vorak interrogates them (or rather, monologues at them). This one needed hardly any changes from the playtest version.

My plan now is to focus on writing chapters that form a single path through the whole game, rather than writing all the alternative early-game chapters before I move on to the mid-game chapters, etc. Once I've got a complete path through the game written I'll go back and write the chapters for alternative paths.

Will the new faces of Vorak inspire our hero to complete his project? Learn more in next month's thrilling developer diary!

#FoolishEarthCreatures #DevDiary

Hello friends! I am alive and I have completed another day without incident .

I did fitness which is a highlight there was a gym class with mostly middle aged women on the cross trainer and then immediately I went to another class , a pretty high intense class — I am doing cardio you see.

It’s a little bit of a life hack that I’ve learned, that by going to double classes there’s minimal overhead and laundry,

That’s pretty clever. I am pretty clever.

But it was hard, but hardships follows everyone everywhere it seems. They certainly are no strangers to me.

Come at me hardships I will stand ready to karate chop!!

You’ll never even tell from my sweat drenched face whether I am crying or not as I chop.

Nobody will know

Désormais plus ouvert, j'ai vu s'allumer un feu; vert ! L'incendie de mes émotions est quasi sous contrôle.

Des sabliers, j'en ai retournés depuis ma venue au monde et la terre est toujours ronde. N'en déplaise aux platistes, je me dis que finalement, la vie pourrait être fantastique.

Des mes oreilles à mon cerveau, le chemin commence à se dégager, pas facile de nettoyer la boue accumulée. Je suis enfin plus à l'écoute mais, Dieu que ça me coûte. Pas si simple d'être attentif au battement de leurs cœurs. Il me faut leur faire oublier mes erreurs. Se concentrer sur eux, leurs récits, joies et heurts.

Encore fatigué, j'essaie d'être comme les tomates, concentré. Mais souvent, j'ai plutôt l'impression d'être broyé. L'exercice me coûte, mais pourtant, Je découvre de nouvelles saveurs, pour leur plus grand bonheur. L'appétit vient en mangeant, alors, enfin, à tout je goûte.

Mon infirmier a souligné un point, J'ai gagné en sérénité et si j'ai rangé mes poings, Ils restent à proximité, J'espère un jour les égarer.

A petits pas, on essaie de progresser, comme des animaux sauvages on doit s'apprivoiser. Un soleil intérieur doit à nouveau briller, sa chaleur intense devrait me faire fondre. Plus de quinze kilos, de quoi se graisser les doigts. Plus de quinze kilos, je porte un sac de sable sur moi. Plus de quinze kilos de trop, ma foi.

Des poils masquent ma bouche; il est temps de les tondre, Un premier geste pour redorer l'image de soit : la confiance reviendra.

Dans son tiroir, un dictaphone, une touche : reset. Comme j’aimerais avoir la même pour ma tête…

Bien des bilans comptables sont moins complexes. Celui de ma vie couvre plus de quatre décennies... Un bordel infini ! Rien n'a jamais été rangé, Des feuilles volantes, des avions en papiers. Des classeurs non fermés, des dossiers non triés. Que garder, que jeter ? Dans ce fouillis, je sais que sur eux, je peux compter. Je me plonge dans leurs yeux et j'en suis sûr, Ça va m'aider.

J'ai vidé l'encre noire de mes idées, dans l'évier. J'ai bien rincé, de l'eau j'en ai fait couler. Pour écrire un nouveau futur, plus sûr. Inspiré, je sort les crayons de couleurs, Je vais tout recouvrir, même leurs peurs.

Deux ans avant, la mort sur moi rôdait. Comme sur un champ de bataille, mon âme semblait s'élever. Disparaitre me semblait la meilleure chose à faire. Depuis c'est l'envie de vieillir tard dont je fais mon affaire.

#santémentale #psychiatrie #thérapie #poésie

I won this server-based correspondence chess club game playing Black a few minutes ago with a basic 2 Rooks Checkmate. Is this the first combination checkmate everyone learns? I remember learning it as a young boy from my father nearly seventy years ago, and thinking then it was the coolest thing! I still smile every time I use it. :)

The graphic near the top of this post shows the position of pieces on our board at game's end. Our full move record follows: 1. e4 a6 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. Nc3 e5 4. a3 Nf6 5. d3 h6 6. Nd5 Nxd5 7. exd5 Nd4 8. Nxd4 exd4 9. Qe2+ Qe7 10. Kd1 Qxe2+ 11. Bxe2 Bc5 12. b4 Bb6 13. Bh5 g6 14. Bg4 h5 15. Bf3 O-O 16. Re1 c5 17. bxc5 Bxc5 18. g3 b6 19. Re7 Bxe7 20. Bh6 Re8 21. a4 Kh7 22. Bf4 Bb7 23. Rb1 Bc5 24. Bg5 Re5 25. Bf6 Rf5 26. Be5 Rxe5 27. a5 b5 28. g4 Rae8 29. Kd2 Bxd5 30. Bd1 f5 31. gxh5 Re5e6 32. h4 Be7 33. hxg6+ Kxg6 34. h5+ Kh6 35. c4 Bg2 36. f4 Rg8 37. cxb5 Bd5 38. b6 Rb8 39. Ba4 Bc6 40. Bb3 d5 41. Rg1 Kxh5 42. Bd1+ Kh6 43. Rh1+ Kg7 44. Rh5 Rf8 45. Rh1 Rh8 46. Rg1+ Kf8 47. Bf3 Bb4+ 48. Kc2 Rh2+ 49. Kb3 Bxa5 50. Rg5 Rf6 51. Rg1 Bxb6 52. Ra1 a5 53. Rc1 Bd7 54. Bxd5 Rd6 55. Bc4 a4+ 56. Kb4 Rh4 57. Rf1 Bd8 58. Kc5 Rc6+ 59. Kd5 Bf6 60. Re1 Rxf4 61. Bb5 Rc7 62. Ba6 Ra7 63. Bc4 a3 64. Ba2 Rf2 65. Ra1 Ra5+ 66. Kd6 Be8 67. Ke6 Ra6+ 68. Kd5 Bf7+ 69. Kc5 Rc2+ 70. Kb5 Ra8 71. Bb1 Rb2+ 72. Kc6 Ra6+ 73. Kc7 Be5+ 74. Kc8 Be6+ 75. Kd8 Bf6+ 76. Kc7 Rb5 77. Ba2 f4 78. Bxe6 Rxe6 79. Rxa3 Be5+ 80. Kd7 Kf7 81.Kc8 Ke7 82. Ra7+ Kf6 83. Rh7 f3 84. Rh6+ Kf5 85. Rh5+ Kf4 86. Rh4+ Ke3 87. Rh3 Rd5 88. Rh1 Rc6+ 89. Kb7 Rc3 90. Re1+ Kxd3 91. Rd1+ Kc2 92. Rh1 Rb5+ 93. Ka6 Rb1 94. Rh5 Ra3# 0-1

And the adventure does continue.

If it’s outside the wheel of God…

https://youtu.be/uNB718kWSL8?si=Es_ZXHTaJPIafyyd

Revelation 14/7.

I have a neighbor who is kind. He says the way I am is fine. He is a minister like you! He has a pretty different view.

Fred Rogers says he’s proud of me. No matter what, I am worthy. He likes me just the way I am. You say I can’t, he says I can.

Fuck Fred. bonehead, drop dead. spoon-fed, hi-bred, unread, misled, brain dead.

You told me he would go to hell that didn’t feel true When I asked, your voice it “S h o K” H o o O O the room I quietly agreed with you.

I once said church was boring That they yell too much, it’s loud You warned me I’d wake up alone Our family high above the clouds

I didn’t dare to speak aloud: “I think I’m gay” “That isn’t kind! Adopting me, a choice you made I couldn’t risk to change your mind.

I couldn’t risk abandonment for wondering why I couldn’t, so I learned to not ask questions “But why not?” “You simply shouldn’t!”

Some mornings when I would wake up and no one else was there I’d panic that God knew the truth That my life would not be spared.

To watch the movie LEFT BEHIND When you are eight “well almost nine” It’s scarier than any horror. Your family’s gone. You will be slaughtered!

Your choice’s: burn or guillotine To pay for your worst sins If you are GAY or don’t fear GOD The pearly gates won’t let you in!

Instead your left to burn in hell Because you lied or wouldn’t tell Because you didn’t clean your room Because you were bad from the womb.

You were not born like the rest Believing what you’re told You ask to many questions Your mind is far to bold

Shut up, don’t speak You stupid freak What’s wrong with you Do what we do! Why are you here? Let’s smear the queer You don’t belong You’re wrong wrong WRONG!

It doesn’t matter if you’re kind Or wait for those who fall b e hind Be generous to every cause? There is only ONE essential law: Do not take the L O R D in vain. Don’t disagree or you’ll be slain. Obey your master up above. Fear and compliance = love.

Why all the stupid things you ask? Please stop talking, wear this mask. Children should be seen not heard. Children must O B E Y God’s word.

A child will suffer if they rebel Endless pain, eternal H E L L So do exactly as your told Why must you be so brainless? bold?

Stop asking why, please just comply. Who don’t believe, deserve to die. So eat your dinner, do not lie. Or you’ll wake up and wonder why Where did all my family go? above, We’re up you’re down

below!

Get in this box, and be like us. Why do you have to make a fuss? We are right and you are wrong. You don’t believe, you don’t belong.

~N~

There are chapters in Scripture that do more than speak to you. They break you open. They reach into the quiet places nobody else sees and pull something living back to the surface. John Chapter 6 is one of those chapters.

It is a chapter for anyone who has ever felt empty, tired, stretched thin, overlooked, overwhelmed, or quietly holding on by a thread. It is a chapter written for hungry people — not just hungry in the stomach, but hungry in the soul.

And right here, near the beginning, I want to place the truth that sits at the heart of this chapter and the heart of your life:

Bread of Life

Because John 6 isn’t just about a miracle. It isn’t just about a storm. It isn’t just about thousands fed on a hillside, or a boat fighting against the wind, or a crowd chasing Jesus for the wrong reasons.

It’s about a Savior who looks at human hunger in all its forms — physical, emotional, spiritual — and says, “I can feed that. I can hold that. I can satisfy that. I can fill what nothing else in this world has ever been able to touch.”

If you’ve ever felt like you were pouring out more than you had, this chapter is speaking to you. If you’re “the strong one” who never gets to fall apart, this chapter is speaking to you. If you’re the one keeping the family afloat, keeping the workplace alive, keeping your friends supported, keeping yourself functioning — while feeling emptier by the day — this chapter is speaking to you.

Jesus steps into John 6 for people running on fumes.

He always has. He still does.

This is why we walk through this chapter slowly. Deeply. Honestly. Because you deserve more than a summary — you deserve nourishment.

---

The Crowd Arrives Empty — Just Like We Do

Thousands flock to Jesus, carrying brokenness, sickness, confusion, hope, desperation, curiosity, and need. Some don’t even know what they’re looking for. They just know something is missing, and Jesus feels like the place where the missing piece might finally fit.

We come to Him the same way.

Tired. Hopeful. Hurting. Searching.

Jesus doesn’t ask the crowd to explain themselves. He doesn’t ask them to prove anything. He doesn’t ask them to get their lives together before coming close.

He simply sees their hunger — and He moves toward it.

God is not intimidated by what you lack. He’s moved by it.

---

The Little That You Have Is Enough for God to Multiply

When Jesus tells the disciples to feed the crowd, the first response is exactly what we say when life overwhelms us:

“We don’t have enough.”

Not enough strength. Not enough time. Not enough answers. Not enough courage. Not enough money. Not enough peace.

But then Andrew finds a boy with a small lunch and says, “But what is this among so many?”

That line is the human heart in one sentence.

“What is my little compared to the size of my need?”

Jesus’ answer is simple:

“Bring it to Me.”

What you call “not enough” becomes more than enough when placed in God’s hands. What you call small becomes multiplied. What you call inadequate becomes abundant. What you call insufficient becomes overflowing.

The miracle didn’t start with bread — it started with surrender.

---

The Storm That Reveals What the Shore Hides

After the miracle comes the storm. Isn’t that how life works?

You experience something beautiful, something powerful, something reassuring — and then the wind starts rising, the sky changes, and everything begins shaking again.

The disciples row in the dark against a storm they can’t control. They feel alone. They feel scared. They feel like they’re losing ground.

But Jesus sees them. From the mountain. From a distance. From a place they can’t see.

He walks toward them on the water — meaning the very thing that threatened them was already under His feet.

Your storm is not bigger than His presence.

He doesn’t calm the wind first. He calms the fear inside the boat. Then they reach the shore immediately — the moment He is invited in.

Some storms are waiting on one decision: Let Jesus into the boat.

---

People Chase Jesus — But For the Wrong Reason

The next day, the crowd finds Him again. Not because they love Him — but because they loved what He did for them.

Jesus confronts this gently but truthfully: “You’re not here because you understood the miracle. You’re here because your stomach was full.”

This is where the chapter shifts. This is where it moves from comfort to confrontation. From receiving bread to understanding its meaning.

Jesus wants more for you than a life of temporary nourishment. He wants to give you the kind of feeding that reaches the parts of you nothing else has ever satisfied.

Bread for the moment fills your stomach. Bread for eternity fills your soul.

---

The Heart of John 6 — Jesus Offers Himself

This is where Jesus speaks the words that changed everything:

“I am the Bread of Life.”

Not “I give the bread.” Not “I provide the bread.” Not “I know where the bread is.”

“I am the Bread.”

Meaning:

Your soul’s hunger cannot be satisfied by anything except Him. No relationship can replace Him. No possession can fill Him in. No success can take His place. No distraction can numb the emptiness He was meant to fill.

He is not offering a teaching. He is offering Himself.

That is Christianity. That is faith. That is John 6.

---

Some Walk Away — But Those Who Stay Find Life

When Jesus goes deeper, the crowd gets uncomfortable. His words stretch them. They push beyond comfort. They demand surrender.

Many walk away.

But Peter stays because he sees what the others missed: “Lord, where else would we go? You have the words of eternal life.”

He didn’t understand everything — but he understood enough.

Following Jesus isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about knowing Who to trust while you walk toward them.

---

A Word for You — Right Here, Right Now

Whatever your hunger is today… whatever you’re empty in… whatever you’ve been carrying silently… whatever storm you’ve been rowing against…

Jesus sees you. Jesus moves toward you. Jesus understands you. Jesus is not disappointed in your tiredness. Jesus isn’t frustrated with your need.

He is the One who feeds what is starving. He is the One who calms what is shaking. He is the One who fills what is empty.

You don’t need to fix yourself. You don’t need to earn anything. You don’t need to hide.

You just need to bring Him what you have — even if it’s small.

He multiplies small.

He always has.

---

Written with compassion, clarity, and a desire to help people walk with strength and hope.

— Douglas Vandergraph

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s inspiring faith-based videos on YouTube

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#faith #Jesus #BreadOfLife #GospelOfJohn #hope #motivation #ChristianLiving #encouragement #spiritualgrowth

Every descent into ruin begins with forgetting who we are.

---

NARRATOR

The vision that Isaiah the son of Amoz saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem in the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah.

---

JEHOVAH

Hear, O heavens, and pay attention, O earth, For Jehovah has spoken: “Sons I have brought up and raised, But they have revolted against m

A bull well knows its buyer, And a donkey the manger of its owner; But Israel does not know me, My own people do not behave with understanding.

Woe to the sinful nation, The people weighed down with error, A brood of wicked men, corrupt children! They have abandoned Jehovah; They have treated the Holy One of Israel with disrespect; They have turned their backs on him.

Where will you be struck next as you add to your rebellion? The whole head is sick, And the whole heart is diseased.

From the sole of the foot to the head, nothing is healthy. There are wounds and bruises and open sores— They have not been treated or bound up or softened with oil.

Your land is desolate. Your cities are burned with fire. Foreigners devour your land right in front of you. It is like a wasteland overthrown by foreigners.

The daughter of Zion has been left like a shelter in a vineyard, Like a hut in a cucumber field, Like a city under siege.

Unless Jehovah of armies had left us a few survivors, We should have become like Sodom, And we should have resembled Gomorrah.

Hear the word of Jehovah, you dictators of Sodom. Pay attention to the law of our God, you people of Gomorrah.

Of what benefit to me are your many sacrifices?” says Jehovah. “I have had enough of your burnt offerings of rams And the fat of well-fed animals, And I have no delight in the blood of young bulls and lambs and goats.

When you come to appear before me, Who has required this from you, This trampling of my courtyards?

Stop bringing in any more worthless grain offerings. Your incense is detestable to me. New moons, sabbaths, the calling of conventions— I cannot put up with the use of magical power along with your solemn assembly.

I have hated your new moons and your festivals. They have become a burden to me; I am tired of bearing them.

And when you spread out your palms, I hide my eyes from you. Although you offer many prayers, I am not listening; Your hands are filled with blood.

Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; Remove your evil deeds from my sight; Stop doing bad. Learn to do good, seek justice, Correct the oppressor, Defend the rights of the fatherless child, And plead the cause of the widow.

Come, now, and let us set matters straight between us,” says Jehovah. “Though your sins are like scarlet, They will be made as white as snow; Though they are as red as crimson cloth, They will become like wool.

If you show willingness and listen, You will eat the good things of the land. But if you refuse and rebel, You will be devoured by the sword, For the mouth of Jehovah has spoken it.”

---

NARRATOR

How the faithful city has become a prostitute! She was full of justice; Righteousness used to lodge in her, But now murderers.

Your silver has become dross, And your beer is diluted with water.

Your princes are stubborn and partners with thieves. Every one of them loves a bribe and chases after gifts. They do not grant justice to the fatherless, And the legal case of the widow never reaches them.

---

JEHOVAH

“Ah! I will rid myself of my adversaries, And I will take revenge on my enemies.

I will turn my hand against you, I will smelt away your dross as with lye, And I will remove all your impurities.

I will restore your judges as in the beginning And your advisers as at the start. After this you will be called City of Righteousness, Faithful Town.

With justice Zion will be redeemed, And her people who return, with righteousness.

The rebels and the sinners will be broken together, And those leaving Jehovah will come to their finish.

For they will be ashamed of the mighty trees that you desired, And you will be disgraced because of the gardens that you chose.

For you will become like a big tree with withering leaves, And like a garden without water.

The strong man will become tow, And his work a spark; Both of them will go up in flames together, With no one to extinguish them.”

---

NARRATOR

This is what Isaiah the son of Amoz saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem:

In the final part of the days, The mountain of the house of Jehovah Will become firmly established above the top of the mountains, And it will be raised up above the hills, And to it all the nations will stream.

And many peoples will go and say: “Come, let us go up to the mountain of Jehovah, To the house of the God of Jacob. He will instruct us about his ways, And we will walk in his paths.” For law will go out of Zion, And the word of Jehovah out of Jerusalem.

He will render judgment among the nations And set matters straight respecting many peoples. They will beat their swords into plowshares And their spears into pruning shears. Nation will not lift up sword against nation, Nor will they learn war anymore.

O house of Jacob, come, Let us walk in the light of Jehovah.

For you have forsaken your people, the house of Jacob, Because they have become full of things from the East; They practice magic like the Philistines, And they abound with the children of foreigners.

Their land is filled with silver and gold, And there is no limit to their treasures. Their land is filled with horses, And there is no limit to their chariots.

Their land is filled with worthless gods. They bow down to the work of their own hands, To what their own fingers have made. So man bows down—he becomes low— And you cannot possibly pardon them.

Enter into the rock and hide yourself in the dust Because of the terrifying presence of Jehovah And his majestic splendor.

The haughty eyes of man will be brought low, And the arrogance of men will bow down. Jehovah alone will be exalted in that day.

For it is the day belonging to Jehovah of armies. It is coming upon everyone who is haughty and lofty, Upon everyone, whether exalted or lowly, Upon all the cedars of Lebanon that are lofty and exalted And upon all the oaks of Bashan, Upon all the lofty mountains And upon all the high hills, Upon every high tower and every fortified wall, Upon all the ships of Tarshish And upon all desirable boats.

Man’s haughtiness will be brought down, And the arrogance of men will bow low. Jehovah alone will be exalted in that day. The worthless gods will completely disappear.

And people will enter into the caves of the rocks And into the holes in the ground Because of the terrifying presence of Jehovah And his majestic splendor When he arises to make the earth tremble in terror.

In that day men will take their worthless gods of silver and of gold That they had made for themselves to bow down to And throw them away to the shrewmice and to the bats, In order to enter into the holes in the rocks And into the clefts of the crags Because of the terrifying presence of Jehovah And his majestic splendor When he arises to make the earth tremble in terror.

For your own sakes, quit trusting in mere man,
Who is only the breath in his nostrils.
Why should he be taken into account?

---

#bible #isaiah #audiobook #reading

---

There are chapters in the Bible that invite you in gently, and then there are chapters that step inside your life with a boldness that catches you off guard. John Chapter 5 belongs to that second category. It arrives with a presence that is both comforting and disruptive, familiar and unsettling, gentle and confronting. It is the kind of Scripture that does not sit quietly in the background of your spiritual journey. Instead, it walks right into the places you’ve avoided, touches the things you’ve covered up, and speaks to the parts of you that have silently grown tired from the weight of waiting.

This chapter is about a man who waited for thirty-eight years, but it’s also about the God who refused to let him stay in the story that pain tried to write for him. It’s about a Savior who walks into cycles of disappointment. It’s about identity, conflict, hope, authority, miracles, and compassion. It’s about the God who sees the suffering that everyone else walks past. It’s about the man who thought nothing would ever change. But above all, it’s about you—and the places in your life that feel like they’ve lasted too long.

In its rawest form, John Chapter 5 is an encounter between human exhaustion and divine intervention.

And some part of you, somewhere deep inside, knows what that feels like.

Arriving at Bethesda: The Landscape of Collective Suffering

When Jesus arrives at the pool of Bethesda, He does not walk into a quiet place, a peaceful place, or a place of celebration. He walks into the center of human hurt. Bethesda was known for its five porches where the sick gathered—blind, lame, broken, discouraged, defeated people waiting for something miraculous to happen. It was a place where pain had gathered for generations. A place where hope was fragile. A place where disappointment was familiar.

Imagine the air thick with weariness. Imagine hundreds of people stretched around the edges of the pool, all waiting for the same thing—the moment the water moves. Tradition said an angel would stir the pool, and the first one in would be healed. Only the first. Only the fastest. Only the strongest. Only the luckiest.

This means Bethesda was not just a place of waiting. It was a place of competition.

People desperately trying to get ahead. People watching others receive the thing they had been praying for. People who believed miracles were possible but only for somebody else.

This is more common than we admit. Most people have areas in their life where they believe God can move, but quietly doubt He’ll move for them.

Bethesda wasn’t just a pool—it was a portrait of long-term disappointment.

And this is the place Jesus chooses to walk into.

Not because it’s beautiful, but because He is.

The Weight of Thirty-Eight Years

Among the multitude of hurting people lies one man whose suffering stands out because of its longevity. He has been sick for thirty-eight years. That is not just time—it is a lifetime of pain. Thirty-eight years of watching the seasons change while his life stayed the same. Thirty-eight years of waiting for a moment that never came. Thirty-eight years of watching others get what he hoped for. Thirty-eight years of believing that maybe pain was going to be his permanent address.

Pain that lasts this long does not just affect the body—it affects the mind, the spirit, and the identity. It reshapes your expectations. It redefines your sense of self. It whispers lies about your worth. It trains you to hope less so you can hurt less.

Everyone has a form of this. Everyone has a “thirty-eight-year” place inside them.

For some, it’s depression that has lasted longer than they can remember. For others, it’s anxiety that clings to every thought. For some, it’s a childhood wound that never healed. For others, it’s a mistake that still haunts their confidence. For some, it’s grief that changed them permanently. For others, it’s the silent fear that joy won’t last. For some, it’s a private battle with sin. For others, it’s the crushing weight of regret.

Pain does not have to last thirty-eight years to feel like it defines your life.

And yet Jesus sees it. Jesus notices it. Jesus walks straight toward it.

That’s the heart of God.

The Question Jesus Asks—And Why It Matters

Jesus approaches the man who has been lying there almost four decades, and instead of offering healing immediately, He asks a question:

“Do you want to be made well?”

At first glance, it sounds unnecessary.

Of course he wants to be healed. Of course he wants his life back. Of course he wants freedom.

But Jesus knows the truth beneath long-term pain:

You can become so accustomed to your condition that healing scares you more than suffering.

Pain becomes familiar. Suffering becomes predictable. Disappointment becomes expected. A broken identity becomes comfortable in its own way.

Jesus isn’t asking whether the man likes being sick. He’s asking whether he’s ready for a life that requires new habits, new expectations, new responsibilities, and a new identity.

Healing requires courage. Healing requires change. Healing requires surrender. Healing requires letting go of the identity that pain crafted for you.

The man doesn’t answer the question Jesus asked. He answers from his history.

“I have no one to help me.” “Others always get ahead.” “I never make it in time.”

This reveals one of the most profound truths about long-term suffering:

It trains you to explain why things can’t change.

Pain changes your language from desire to discouragement. From hunger to hesitation. From hope to history. From “yes” to “I don’t know how.”

But Jesus is not limited by your explanations.

He is not asking for logic. He is asking for willingness.

Healing is not the result of your strength. It’s the result of His word.

The Command That Changes Everything

Then Jesus speaks the words that redefine the entire chapter:

“Rise, take up your bed, and walk.”

These are not motivational words. These are not suggestions. These are not ideas. These are commands of divine authority.

Three commands.

Rise—stand up from the place pain kept you. Take up your bed—remove the symbol of your former identity. Walk—move forward with purpose and freedom.

What suffering built over thirty-eight years collapses under the weight of one sentence from Jesus.

Immediately—instantly—without delay—the man is healed.

The word “immediately” is a reminder that God does not need time to do what time has failed to do. Healing that seemed impossible, unreachable, unimaginable suddenly becomes reality in a moment of divine intervention.

He rises. He stands. He steps. He carries the bed he once lay upon.

The thing that used to hold him is now something he carries.

This is the power of God. This is the beauty of the gospel. This is the hope of the believer.

Your past becomes your testimony, not your prison.

When Healing Makes People Uncomfortable

But freedom always confronts resistance.

The moment the man walks with his mat, religious leaders show up—not to celebrate, but to criticize.

“It’s the Sabbath. You shouldn’t be carrying that.”

Imagine that. A man healed after nearly four decades and all they can see is a rule being broken.

This reveals something heartbreaking about spiritual blindness:

People obsessed with rules cannot recognize miracles.

They see violation instead of restoration. They see law instead of life. They see tradition instead of transformation.

Healing disrupts systems built on control. Miracles offend those who prefer predictable religion. Freedom threatens those who need you to stay broken.

Your healing will make some people uncomfortable because your transformation exposes their lack of compassion, courage, or faith.

But the man keeps walking.

Because when Jesus heals you, you don’t need permission to continue forward.

Jesus Steps Into the Conflict and Reveals Himself

When the religious leaders confront Jesus about healing on the Sabbath, He doesn’t apologize. He doesn’t soften His language. He doesn’t avoid the conflict.

He steps into it.

He declares truth so boldly that it shakes the foundations of their spiritual worldview.

He reveals:

The Father is always working. The Son works in perfect unity with the Father. The Son gives life. The Son raises the dead. The Son holds divine authority to judge. The Son is equal with the Father. Those who honor the Son honor the Father. Those who believe in Him pass from death to life.

These are not gentle claims. These are declarations of divinity.

This is why the religious leaders begin plotting to kill Him. Not because He healed. Because He revealed who He truly is.

Jesus is not crucified because of miracles. He is crucified because of identity.

Jesus Calls His Witnesses

To reinforce His identity, Jesus points to the undeniable witnesses that testify about Him:

John the Baptist—whose words prepared the way. Miracles—visible evidence of divine power. The Father—who affirmed Him openly. Scripture—every prophecy pointing toward Him. Moses—whose writings foreshadowed His coming.

Then Jesus confronts the religious leaders with a truth that still pierces today:

“You search the Scriptures thinking you have life in them, yet they testify about Me.”

Meaning:

You can study the Bible and still miss Jesus. You can practice religion and remain spiritually dead. You can quote Scripture but live without transformation. You can know theology but not know God.

Information without revelation is empty. Scripture without surrender is powerless. Religion without relationship is lifeless.

John Chapter 5 is not a study—it is a confrontation.

Where This Chapter Meets You

This chapter reaches into the parts of your life where time has worn you down.

It speaks into:

Your quiet exhaustion. Your unanswered prayers. Your lifelong battles. Your discouraged spirit. Your emotional scars. Your hidden wounds. Your private disappointments. Your fear that nothing will ever change. Your suspicion that miracles are for someone else.

John 5 meets you in the tension between what you believe and what you’ve been experiencing.

It speaks life into the places where hope has been bruised.

It whispers truth into the shadows where fear has been whispering.

It confronts the lies that long-term pain has been silently building in your identity.

It invites you to rise.

Your “Rise” Moment

Every believer eventually hears Jesus speak the same three commands:

Rise. Take up your bed. Walk.

These words are not aimed only at the man beside the pool—they are aimed at you.

Rise from the fear that has been holding you hostage. Rise from the shame that tried to define you. Rise from the regret that still haunts your confidence. Rise from the disappointment that crushed your expectations. Rise from the belief that nothing will ever change. Rise from the identity shaped by past wounds. Rise from the idea that you’re too late, too damaged, or too far gone. Rise from the mat that held your story captive.

Taking up your bed means carrying your past as testimony, not trauma.

Walking means moving forward in a life reshaped by grace, not grief.

Healing isn’t just what Jesus gives—it’s who Jesus is.

A Closing Word for Your Spirit

If you feel forgotten, Jesus remembers you. If you feel overlooked, Jesus sees you. If you feel tired, Jesus strengthens you. If you feel stuck, Jesus calls you. If you feel broken, Jesus restores you. If you feel hopeless, Jesus awakens you. If you feel out of time, Jesus is right on time.

Your thirty-eight-year story is not permanent. Your pain is not the end of the story. Your suffering is not your identity. Your waiting is not wasted.

Jesus is stepping into your Bethesda moment. And when He speaks, everything changes.

Rise. Take up your bed. Walk.

Because healing is not behind you— it’s standing right in front of you.

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s inspiring faith-based videos on YouTube

Support the ministry by buying Douglas a coffee

— Douglas Vandergraph

Modern English 1982

I don’t know what it is about this song, but it has lived in my head and heart for 40 years. It’s a story of being so absolutely sotted with a soul, that it all just melts away.

Who wouldn’t want that?

Complete abandon, trust, longing, want. Absolute acceptance.

It’s playing on the radio right now, while I wait in the car. It’s making me really kind of sad—wistful maybe.

Thing is, there are really beautiful sentiments. Some experiences I've certainly had. Some of these things I don’t think I’ll ever get to experience.

That’s not fair. Of course I will never not get to.

But.

Making love to you was never second best—for a variety of reasons that lands in me.

I see the world thrashing all around your face—

I think I never really understood this lyric… right now it’s hitting as: the world is turmoil but there is an island of calm. This face brings peace and harmony-safety, belief, trust. Not out of obligation or loyalty, but karmic chemistry.

I'll stop the world and melt with you

This is a place I’ve been. In person and in imagination—for a time just being out of time and place. More of the woe-displacement. For you. With you.

Trapped in the state of imaginary grace

Limerence, an elevated existence. More just wanting to be out of time. Out of place. Apart from a world that is only concerned with art, beauty and love in regards to how much income it can generate.

I made a pilgrimage to save this humans race

Of course, ME’s intent is for the speaker to make his pilgrimage to her, to save himself. I've always heard it as my own pilgrimage to save this human's race. Possessive, to save my people. A life spent with the express intent to save as many who wish it.

Never comprehending the race had long gone by

In the process, I think—I think I worry I may have lost my own race. This is as yet unresolved. But wolf's doing his damnest, he's still melting, still finding grace and the pilgrimage— maybe it's not an end, but stops along the way. The pilgrimage is the journey, one that never ends, but demands experiencing.

You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time

I see some changes and I guess life is getting better. Certainly aspects are much improved. But other pieces of me, parts that got away in the stream of time and want back... they feel like less improvement and more loss. But, perhaps the point is that you can't advance without loss. Only ever keeping what we have, good or bad, doesn't leave room for the new. Doors close and doors open. I don’t know, but that seems to be the nature of life.

I'll stop the world and melt with you

The future's open wide

ME herald's the call, the declaration over and over. Longing want? Or expressed intent? Maybe they're saying, what-the-hell-ever comes, I'm always going to have this—if you're here with me or not—the melting is what I have. It's what I give. It's what I want.

After all, the future's wide open.

And maybe that’s the truth I keep circling: the world won’t actually stop, not for me, not for anyone. But every once in a rare while, something — a face, a memory, a song from 1982 drifting through a car radio on an ordinary day — reminds me that melting is still possible.

That the part of me built for surrender, for dissolving into another soul, hasn’t gone extinct. The race isn’t lost. Maybe it was never a race to begin with. Maybe it’s just a long pilgrimage toward the few moments where everything unnecessary falls away and what remains is simple, human, incandescent connection. And if those moments still exist, then so do I.

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Moving forwards, using all my breath

Making love to you was never second best

I saw the world thrashing all around your face

Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace

I'll stop the world and melt with you

You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time

There's nothing you and I won't do

I'll stop the world and melt with you

Dream of better lives the kind which never hate

Trapped in the state of imaginary grace

I made a pilgrimage to save this humans race

Never comprehending the race had long gone by

I'll stop the world and melt with you

You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time

There's nothing you and I won't do

I'll stop the world and melt with you

The future's open wide

The future's open wide

I'll stop the world and melt with you

I've seen some changes but it's getting better all the time

There's nothing you and I won't do

I'll stop the world and melt with you

The future's open wide

I'll stop the world and melt with you

You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time

There's nothing you and I won't do

I'll stop the world and melt with you

I'll stop the world and melt with you

I'll stop the world and melt with you

I'll stop the world and melt with you

I'll stop the world and melt with you

There is a moment every believer eventually meets—a point so defining, so spiritually disruptive, so unmistakably divine, that it becomes impossible to return to the version of yourself that walked the earth before it happened. It is not loud. It is not dramatic. It is not something you can schedule, predict, or resist. It arrives quietly, almost like a whisper. It settles in your spirit before it ever reaches your mind. And at first, you cannot explain it. You just know something has changed. Something has awakened. Something inside you refuses to keep living the same way.

That moment is the beginning of an uncommon life.

Most people never reach this moment because they cling too tightly to the familiar. They hold onto habits that keep them numb. They stay surrounded by circles that keep them small. They feed their minds with noise that keeps them spiritually asleep. They avoid the discomfort of introspection, obedience, and truth. But for those who do reach this moment—those who feel the divine tugging of God pulling them out of their old story—life will never be the same again.

When God begins calling you higher, everything inside you starts shifting. What once felt normal feels too narrow. What once felt acceptable begins to bother your spirit. What once felt comfortable becomes suffocating. The desires you used to chase no longer feel satisfying. The conversations you once tolerated now feel shallow. The environments you used to fit into now feel out of alignment. And the version of yourself that once felt natural now feels like a stranger wearing your skin.

It is not depression. It is not restlessness. It is not confusion. It is spiritual awakening.

It is God revealing that you were created for more.

He reveals it slowly, gently, deliberately. He starts by allowing your spirit to feel frustrated with cycles that once felt normal. Then He lets you see that your environment is too small for the destiny He placed in you. Then He reveals the gap between the life you're living and the life He designed. And finally, He begins pulling you out of the familiar so He can lead you into the future.

But here is the part most believers are never taught: God will disrupt your comfort long before He displays your calling. He will break your patterns before He builds your purpose. He will separate you before He elevates you. He will disturb your peace to awaken your identity. He will make you uncomfortable so you cannot stay in environments He never intended to be permanent.

This discomfort is not punishment—it is preparation. It is the spiritual indicator that everything in your life is shifting. It is the sign that you are standing on the threshold of transformation. It is the evidence that God is stirring the anointing inside you. It is the announcement that He is about to call you out of everything that has kept you spiritually small.

But to walk into an uncommon life, you must confront a powerful truth: you cannot rise while surrounding yourself with people who refuse to move.

Your environment is either elevating your spirit or suffocating it. Your circle is either sharpening your calling or destroying it. Your habits are either strengthening your faith or weakening it. Your conversations are either feeding your purpose or poisoning it. Your routines are either aligning you with destiny or distracting you from it.

This is why God often begins your transformation by addressing your surroundings. He reveals things you overlooked. He exposes motives you tolerated. He brings clarity to relationships you once excused. He shines light into spaces you tried to ignore. He disrupts the peace you found in places that were actually stunting your growth.

Because He knows something you haven’t admitted yet: you cannot become the person He created you to be while remaining shaped by people who never embraced who they were created to be.

Walking with God requires courage. Obedience demands separation. And transformation demands honesty.

Honesty about your habits. Honesty about your weaknesses. Honesty about your distractions. Honesty about your compromises. Honesty about your surroundings. Honesty about who you pretend to be. Honesty about who you’re afraid to become.

Becoming the person God envisioned when He created you is the most courageous work you will ever do. It requires confronting the shadows of your own soul. It demands walking away from cycles you normalized. It requires you to own the truth that your life will not change until you do. And for many believers, this is the moment that becomes the breaking point.

The breaking point is a gift. It is the moment when pretending becomes impossible. When excuses lose their power. When compromise feels too costly. When stagnation feels unbearable. When God’s whisper grows louder than the noise around you. When your spirit refuses to tolerate the life you’ve been settling for.

And when that breaking point arrives, you face the greatest decision of your life: Will you return to the familiar, or will you step into the future God is calling you to?

Most people will choose the familiar. Not because they lack faith, but because they fear what they cannot predict. But you—if you’ve read this far—you already know God is not calling you into the predictable. He is calling you into purpose. Into identity. Into maturity. Into spiritual strength. Into courage. Into obedience. Into clarity. Into territory your old self cannot survive in.

To walk into an uncommon life, you must leave the common one behind.

You cannot keep the same habits and expect a different future. You cannot keep the same excuses and expect transformation. You cannot keep the same circle and expect elevation. You cannot keep the same mindset and expect breakthrough.

God is calling you higher—but elevation requires participation.

It begins with separation. Not separation from people because you think you’re better than they are, but separation from patterns that cannot take you where God is leading you. Separation from cycles that contradict your calling. Separation from distractions that keep you spiritually numb. Separation from environments that cripple your growth.

Every person God used in Scripture was separated before they were elevated.

Noah separated from the culture of his generation. Abraham separated from everything familiar. Joseph was separated from his family into the furnace of development. Moses was separated in the wilderness. David was separated from obscurity into purpose. Esther was separated through preparation. Daniel was separated by integrity. Peter was separated by calling. Paul was separated by transformation.

And Jesus? He constantly separated Himself to pray, to listen, to realign, to walk in the Father’s will instead of the crowd’s expectations.

Yet believers still wonder why God calls them into seasons that feel quiet, lonely, stripped down, uncomfortable, and misunderstood. But separation is not abandonment—it's refinement. God isolates to elevate. He subtracts before He multiplies. He breaks before He builds. He prunes before He expands.

This season of your life, the pressure you feel, the discomfort that won’t let you rest—this is the evidence that God is about to pull you into something deeper. You are not falling apart; you are being rearranged. You are not breaking down; you are breaking open. You are not losing yourself; you are discovering the version of you that was buried under survival, routine, and compromise.

This is not the death of your identity—it is the birth of your purpose.

And to walk into this identity, you must embrace the truth that uncommon living is not a result—it is a decision.

A decision to rise. A decision to obey. A decision to step out of the crowd. A decision to break generational patterns. A decision to build discipline. A decision to reject spiritual laziness. A decision to choose discomfort over stagnation. A decision to become unrecognizable to your past.

The uncommon life requires walking when others stop. Praying when others sleep. Growing when others drift. Discerning when others ignore. Sacrificing when others indulge. Listening when others argue. Obeying when others negotiate. Standing when others bow.

And this is why the uncommon life is so rare.

Because it demands something the average life never will: everything.

It demands surrender. It demands courage. It demands maturity. It demands attention. It demands discipline. It demands self-reflection. It demands truth. It demands spiritual hunger. It demands obedience when obedience is costly.

But what it gives you in return is beyond anything you could ever trade for it.

Clarity. Peace. Identity. Purpose. Strength. Maturity. Discernment. Authority. Confidence. Stability. Faith that cannot be shaken. Anointing that cannot be denied. And a life that hell fears.

Because when you finally decide to live the life God created you for, you become the version of yourself that heaven has been waiting for.

This version of you is bold. This version of you is disciplined. This version of you is obedient. This version of you is spiritually awake. This version of you is stable. This version of you is courageous. This version of you is unbothered by opinions. This version of you is aligned with heaven. This version of you is dangerous to darkness.

And this version of you becomes the foundation of your destiny.

You were never called to a common existence. You were never designed to blend in. You were never created to walk without purpose. You were never meant to stay small.

God created you to rise.

So rise.

Rise out of the cycles that held you back. Rise out of the environments that kept you limited. Rise out of the excuses that stole your years. Rise out of the identity you were never meant to wear. Rise out of the version of yourself you have outgrown.

Walk forward. Walk boldly. Walk faithfully. Walk intentionally. Walk as the person God designed.

Walk into your uncommon life.

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s inspiring faith-based videos on YouTube

Support the ministry by buying Douglas a coffee

— Douglas Vandergraph

#faith #motivation #christianmotivation #uncommonlife #purpose #encouragement #Jesus #riseup #transformation #growth

VVA miniserie Therapeutische Stukjes

(Deel 1 van 1)

Nog geen week geleden begon dit hele proces. Ik had iets gehoord over een stand van zaken, omstandigheden iets voor een reactie maar ik zat daar, dronk mijn oplos koffie en pas toen ik op zoek ging naar een homp koek drong het door 'Ik vind er niets van' Ik schrok behoorlijk want ik vind overal iets van. Dat is voor ons type als de natte neus van een hond, blijft dit effect na een oorzaak en een gevolg uit dan is er iets goed mis.

Meteen zat ik en zak en as, mijn leven was van een nieuwe hardcover voor de volle prijs gekocht in een echte boekenwinkel veranderd in een beduimeld exemplaar bij een kringloop winkel voor alles en ook wel eens een boekje. Het boek was qua inhoud hetzelfde maar toch helemaal anders. “Vreselijk!” citeerde ik de auteur Hubert Schimmelpenninck, onterecht onbekend gebleven, hiermee uitdrukking gevend hoe ik me op dat moment voelde. Het besef drong meteen diep door, ik zag het zelfs in de spiegel van de ziel van anderen, in hun pupillen, het klonk door in het timbre van elke stem, ik was niet langer de beste versie van mezelf nu ik zomaar op eens ergens niks van vond.

Ik had dringend hulp nodig. Ik sloeg de gouden gids open op zoek naar kennis uit het verleden en heden over mijn soort onthutsend gedrag, aanstootgevend was het zowaar ik u brom. In de gids vond ik diverse kenners op alle gebieden waaronder ook Helers gespecialiseerd in tijdelijke onverschilligheid [aanbevolen] Ik zocht naar sterren, tekens der beoordeling des waardige tijds, zodat ik de beste heler uit de reeks kon inhuren. In de papieren versie stond niks maar eenmaal aangelijnd waren er meer dan voldoende meningen over deze categorie helers te vinden. Het waren allemaal prima mensen, vak lui, met een zekere staat van dienst, dat zag ik zo, niks dan lof, zelfs al waren ze dat niet, of minder goed dan uitstekend, de nood was inmiddels zo hoog dat ik een bijna vier sterretjes therapeut gewoon wel moest accepteren. Gelukkig kon ik terecht bij iemand met bijna 5 sterren, de laatste ster was net niet tot de rand toe gevuld.

Een uur daarna had ik een afspraak voor de dag daarna, De van alles wat iets wetende man had de ernst van de situatie ingezien en alle andere afspraken naar achteren geschoven. Ergens niets van vinden is in ons reactief leven vergelijkbaar met een zwaar ongeval op de weg voor de EHBO, hele hoge nood.

DE dag daarop zat ik tegen over de therapeut, Hein, een broodmagere man, een afgetrainde duurloper waarschijnlijk en deed mijn verhaal. Hein luisterde aandachtig. Ik vertelde dat ik de radio aan had gezet en er een bericht was over een situatie in een regio op een bepaald vakgebied en dat ik amper luisterde en enkel genoot van mijn bakje oploskoffie, mijn stem brak toen ik de boodschap overbracht. De therapeut keek verschrikt, zuchtte diep, daarna deed hij snel zijn hand voor de mond, een heler mag dergelijke emoties nooit tonen aan een cliënt maar soms is het te erg. Ik kon ook zien dat Hein eigenlijk onbedaarlijk wou huilen in plaats daarvan ging hij op de vloer liggen en ademde een paar minuten diep in en uit tot kalmte was herwonnen.

Hij zei “Mijn excuses, ik had gehoopt op een minder moeilijke situatie, eentje waar ik geen nachtje over moet slapen, helaas.” Ik bood daarop mijn excuses aan en hij accepteerde deze schoorvoetend. Hij trok zijn vlinderdasje recht, rechte zijn schouders met een waterpas en sprak op gemaakt lijzige toon “U moet weten dat ik altijd mijn uiterste best doe om mensen te helpen maar ik doe geen belofte aan niemand niet, ik weet niet zeker of ik kan zorgen dat u na deze kuur nooit weer tegen iets aan loopt waar u niets van vindt echter in de meeste gevallen slaag ik er in om dit voor een zeer lange periode te voorkomen” Ik vond dit geruststellend en zei dat ook. Hein knikte waarmee hij aangaf dat ik werd gehoord. Dat deed me goed, zo vaak komt dat niet voor. Ik besloot daar gebruik van te maken door nog iets te zeggen “De crisis situatie bij Ajax gaat me na aan het hart!” Ook dit veroorzaakte een duidelijke reactie, hij drong er echter op aan om hem de ruimte te geven zijn werkplan voor mijn euvel te vertellen, uitleggen wat ik en hij allemaal moesten doen om voor op het goden gouden paadje over de tienbaans snelweg rijden zo snel mogelijk weg van OZ en zijn miniseries, het omroepland van onverschillige zaken. Nu was het mijn beurt om te knikken, en ik besloot meteen mijn kwek te houden over Ajax.

Hein liep naar een digitaal bord aangesloten op zijn mobiele telefoon. Hij liet een punt zien op een heel wit vlak en sprak “Dit is waar u zich bevindt” vervolgens liet hij een kaart van Smægmå zien en zei dit is waar we zo snel als mogelijk terug naar toe gaan. “Goden zij dank” citeerde ik weer Hubert Schimmelpenninck, mijn favoriete auteur voor citeren, zijn taal is altijd zo helder en eenvoudig, echt iemand die bij de essentie blijft en niet voortdurend afdwalen naar regionen die niks te maken hebben met hele verhaal, gewoon taal om taal te maken, daar vind ik namelijk ook niks aan.

“U bent vorige week in het nergens terecht gekomen. Het is aan mij om te ontdekken waarom maar we moeten eerst en vooral denken aan de toekomst. Het vinden van de oorzaak is niet per c noodzakelijk om het euvel in de nabije toekomst te voorkomen. Het is echter mijn taak om alles tot de bodem uit te zoek, de onderste steen van het fundament boven halen en als dat eenmaal klaar is een ander meer opleverend bouwwerk neerzetten.” Ik knikte heel erg. Hein ging voort. Op het grote scherm liet hij al pratende en wijzende zijn plan voor mij zien en vertelde daarover. “U gaat van A naar Beter, laat u niet van de wijs brengen door alle afleidingen en afslagen, gaat vermetel voort naar u doel, daar waar de rivier der eeuwige verschilligheid, betrokkenheid stroomt als een wilde en alle mensen meesleept naar het intens grote geluk der voortdurende communicatie, discussie en oproer. Het paradijs waar u sinds vorige week uit bent verstoten.” Nou ik stond op uit mijn grote luie stoel en gaf Hein een daverend ovatie, ik was om, tot nu toe dacht ik dat mijn probleem zelfs te groot was voor een zo goed als vijf sterren therapeut. Niks is minder waar.

Om daar te komen moeten we iedere week samen een paar uur doorbrengen, uw verplichte verzekering betaalt mij, eveneens verplicht, en ik praat dan tegen u, toon u het goede beeld onder andere op dit scherm en dat net zolang u het zich kunt veroorloven en tevens tot u weer 'daar' bent, wederom verscheen de kaart van Smægmå op het scherm. Ik was blij verheugd dat ik iemand had gevonden die dit voor mij over had, die iedere week een paar uur met mij door wou brengen en praten over dingen die mij nu niet bezig houden in verband met die kwalijke onverschilligheid maar er dan weer toe doen en dat we dit allemaal samen doen met mijn verzekeraar en zo zij hij dat is in feite iedereen daar, weer wijzend op de land kaart en vooral op alle bewoonde gebieden. De rest voegt verdomd weinig toe aan de staatskas en dergelijke. Al die bomen, grassen, dat water en die lucht, daar heb je verder helemaal niks aan. Hein vond overal het zijne van, dat was goed om te horen en zien, een heerlijke uitgesproken persoonlijkheid, een man van het woord met oordelen over alles uit zijn mond naar voren gebracht met alle woorden in zijn hersenen aanwezig, geweldige ervaring. Zo wou ik ook weer zijn. Ik zag ook dat het geluk bij hem er van af straalde.

Na anderhalf uur zo aanhoren wat ik allemaal moest doen en wanneer moest ik weer naar huis. Ik was een beetje huiverig dat ik daar zo meteen waarschijnlijk een moment van de dag weer op een stoel of bank zou zitten, iets zien en horen en daar dan niks vinden. Het kon altijd ooit op ieder moment van een etmaal waarheid worden, een rilling liep over en of door mijn lijf door die gedachte of misschien ook wel door de kou terwijl ik door de kou fietste van stad terug naar het dorp. Thuis gekomen volgde ik het advies van Hein en deed er alles aan om te voorkomen dat ik ergens niets van kon vinden. Ik zag een plant met een dor blaadje en zei 'Daar maak ik notitie van', ik keek naar de muur, en zei 'mooi, mooi, lekker dicht' en zo voort alsmaar bevestigend dat het er was en dat ik daar was om er iets van te vinden net zo lang alles weer normaal was op de wereld. Ieder uur deed ik digitaal verslag van mijn vorderingen op de Hein Verbeter je Wereld Applicatie, zodat hij de data die ik aanmaakte kon analyseren en we deze volgende week konden gaan bespreken. Heerlijk, al die vorderingen zei ik tegen de App, ik gaf het een 8 op een lijn van 10, dat zou de nodige gespreksstoffen opleveren, dat weet ik zeker.

Sindsdien weet ik dat ik aan mezelf moet blijven werken zodat ik een beter mens ben dan ik was en nu nog ben, opdat de wereld zich aan mij zal tonen en eenmaal daar dit dan blijft doen. Echt daar vind ik wat van en zo hoort dat.

V Dědolesu bydlel dědek jménem Prdelojza Mezera. Byl to obyčejný dědek. Měl prdel, pantofle, světničku a strach ze sov. Ne z normálních sov. Z prdelatých sov, těch, co lítají nízko, funí a dělají podivné zvuky mezi prdelí a píšťalou.

Prdelojza si byl jistý, že jednou v noci přiletí. A samozřejmě měla pravdu jeho prdel – vždycky to poznala první.

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🌙 Noc, kdy začalo šustění

Jednou večer seděl Prdelojza u stolu, pil si čaj a snažil se ignorovat prdel, která ho varovala tichým plop. Vítr nefoukal. Vesnice spala. Ale u okna se ozvalo šššš… šššš… jako když se sova snaží být nenápadná, i když váží jako menší kozel.

Prdelojza se přikrčil. „To nic nebude,“ šeptal si. Prdel mu odpověděla hlubokým brrrrp. Varování.

A pak to přišlo.

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Najednou se na okenici objevila obří prdel. Chlupatá, kulatá, přimáčklá na sklo jako mokrý chleba.

Sova funěla, tlačila půlkami na okno a dělala zvuk, který připomínal křížence mezi hřměním a dědkem na záchodě. Prdelojza vytřeštil oči a snažil se nevydat ani hlásek. Vlezl si tiše pod postel a ani nedutal. Vzpomněl si, že okno úplně pevně nedovřel.

Pak sova zaprděla.

Sklo zamlželo. Rámečky zaskřípaly. A Prdelojzovi došlo, že pokud něco okamžitě neudělá, ta sova se protlačí dovnitř jak teplý rohlík do kapes. Ale strach ho přimrazil prdelí k podlaze pod postelí.

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😱 Sova vtrhne dovnitř

Okenice povolily.

Sova prolétla světničkou prdelí napřed, srazila hrnek, převrátila lavici a přistála na peřině. Působila jako zlo v peří. Svítila očima, funěla a její prdel vydávala nízké dunění, které slibovalo, že tohle neskončí dobře.

Prdelojza zařval. Prdel mu málem spadla strachy.

A pak… se ozvalo zpoza dveří nenápadné šustnutí.

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🦡 Vstupuje jezevec

Do světničky nakráčel jezevec od sousední nory. Žádný mýtus, žádný hrdina — prostě obyčejný jezevec, co spal, dokud ho neprobudil soví smrad.

Postavil se, zavrčel… a rozběhl se přímo proti sově.

Zahryzl se jí rovnou do prdele. Sova zařvala, vyletěla vzhůru, narazila do stropu, pak do kredence a nakonec oknem pryč, nechávajíc po sobě jen peří a trauma.

Jezevec si odfrkl, otočil se na Prdelojzu a pohledem mu jasně sdělil: „Zavři si příště okno, idiote.“

A zmizel zpět do nory.

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💤 Po boji

Prdelojza celou noc nezamhouřil oko. Světnička smrděla sovím strachem a kousancem jezevce.

Ale byl vděčný. Sově, že odešla. Jezevci, že přišel. A prdeli, že ho varovala.

Od té noci spal s okny zavřenými. A pod stolem nechával mísek s pamlskem, kdyby se jezevec rozhodl zase jednou zachránit situaci.

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Poučení:

Když ti prdel řekne, že přiletí sova, tak přiletí. Neignoruj vlastní zadek.

cuando empezó a comer esa fruta pulposa / blanca se dió cuenta que no sabía exactamente si era chirimoya anona o guanábana pero lo que dejó fue simple / un semillero en el plato

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Since 2012, Pat McCarthy , an Irishman, has supported over 25,000 rural Chinese students and encourages overseas Chinese to support their roots through educational giving.

As an Irish philanthropist living in China, my journey here began not in boardrooms or conference halls, but in villages, in modest classrooms, and in the quiet determination of children sitting at worn wooden desks, dreaming of a future they could barely imagine.

Through the work of the Ireland Sino Institute (爱尔兰中国研究院), a registered non-profit organisation dedicated to education, charity, cultural exchange, and community upliftment, I have had the honour of serving more than 25,000 rural students across China over the past decade. Many of these children had never spoken to a foreigner, never owned an English book, never stepped outside their county — yet inside them I saw the same spark, the same intelligence, the same dreams that live in children everywhere.

I have also met many Chinese who now live overseas — in Ireland, Europe, North America, Australia, and beyond. You are business owners, doctors, engineers, artists, academics, entrepreneurs, parents, and community leaders. You have carried China with you in your language, your values, your work ethic, and in your hearts.

But distance is a powerful thing. Life becomes busy. The connection to home grows quieter. Roots that once felt strong can begin to fade into memory.

Pictured above is Zhang Chang, the wife of Pat McCarthy, teaching rural Chinese students in Liaoning Province, China.

Today, I offer a gentle invitation.

Remember where you came from. Remember the teachers who guided you, the grandparents who sacrificed for you, the villages and cities that shaped your first identity. And if you can, in whatever way is possible for you — give back.

Giving back is not only about money. It can be as simple as helping one rural student continue their education. It can be a donation of books to a small school, a sponsored scholarship for a child whose parents work far from home, a video call to encourage a classroom, or the sharing of your professional knowledge with young people who long for guidance. Even a small gesture, given with sincerity, can change the direction of a life.

Through the Ireland Sino Institute, we have built libraries, supported teachers, provided learning materials, organised speech festivals, created cultural exchange opportunities, and stood beside communities when they needed it most. I have seen children’s eyes light up as they realise that someone, somewhere in the world, believes in them.

China’s rise has inspired the world, but in some quieter corners of the country, there are still children whose potential is waiting for someone to believe in them. That outstretched hand can also carry the spirit of overseas Chinese who never forgot where they came from.

By giving back, you are not just supporting China’s future — you are honouring your own story. You are strengthening an invisible bridge between the person you once were and the person you have become. You are showing the next generation that success is measured not only in wealth or status, but in compassion, responsibility, and remembrance.

If there is even a small voice inside you calling you back to your roots, I invite you to listen to it. Reach out. Ask questions. Reconnect. Together, we can create lasting, meaningful change.

Our non-profit school in China, registered as I Love Learning Education Centre, was created to bring hope, confidence, and opportunity to children in rural communities who would otherwise be left behind. For many of these children, access to English means access to the wider world — to jobs, scholarships, and a future that once felt out of reach.

Today, that mission continues — but it depends on the kindness of those who believe in the power of education and the importance of staying connected to one’s roots.

If you feel that connection, I invite you to stand with us.

👉 Support our campaign, “Give 1,000 Rural Children an English Education” on GlobalGiving and become part of a movement that is transforming lives, one child at a time.

© 2025 All About China News Team

Currently I thought I will have more time to write. But it looks like, that my brain is so occupied with stuff that each day I forget to write a post the previous day.

I forgot to count but it is the third fourth fifth attempt to write the post. 🙈 Hell, I also forget to pay some bills or answer some letters which are important.

I don’t know what’s happening at the moment. I’m focused on a topic but I’m so lost on other important ones and forget about them constantly.

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56 of #100DaysToOffload
#log
Thoughts?