JOURNAL 1er décembre 2025

On va se coucher de bonne heure. La vie des Japonais c'est se lever manger travailler manger dormir. Et encore, ma chérie fait partie des privilégiées et moi aussi, on n'est pas abruties de travail on a le temps de vivre et réfléchir et même de méditer sous les arbres en oubliant de manger.

Je reviens sur ma vie sous l'autorité de mon frère aîné de 6 à 12 ans. J'y ai beaucoup réfléchi ce matin dans la forêt. Oui il m'a traitée très durement, trop durement, on traite pas comme ça une petite fille, mais je ne lui en veux plus. Il n'imaginait pas, il était incapable de réaliser les souffrances qu'il m'imposait, les efforts qu'il me demandait, c'était pour lui quelque chose de naturel c’est ainsi qu'on devait former une fille de samuraï, car c’est ainsi qu'il concevait alors les choses, entièrement sous l’influence de la mythologie familiale. Il avait 18 ans faut pas oublier. La brutalité de notre père était la règle à la maison, tout le monde devait s’y conformer, de plus en tant que seule fille de la famille j'étais considérée comme rien, et le fait de vouloir me former aux techniques de combat traditionnelles était une façon de me revaloriser, de me viriliser en quelque sorte, et donc mon frère mettait le paquet pour rattraper l'erreur fondamentale de la nature qui ne m'avait pas donné une quéquette, et de plus m'avait dotée d'un caractère rêveur, comme du reste mon troisième frère et lui aussi avait dû se réformer avant moi. À douze ans quand j'ai été confiée à mon oncle pédophile, j'étais très en avance pour mon âge dans la maîtrise des deux sabres, comme ces personnages de légende des romans médiévaux. Et je suis aujourd'hui persuadée que la dureté impitoyable de ce dressage m'a sauvé la vie et permis de supporter trois ans de mauvais traitements dans la secte plus tard. Je pense que moralement je n'aurais pas pu tenir et sans doute, pas physiquement non plus. Je vois donc maintenant les six ans d'entraînement forcé d'un autre œil. Par ailleurs je ne crois plus comme je l'ai supposé un temps que ce soit là que je doive chercher l'origine réelle de mes troubles, ni la négation de la douleur ni le refus de mon apparence féminine. C’est plus ancien, plus profond, plus refoulé, comme me le suggèrent mes psys et comme ils pensent que je le sais au fond de moi, et que je commence à l´entrevoir après y avoir profondément réfléchi ce matin dans cette séance de méditation particulièrement profonde au point d'en oublier ma faim. Et je sens un grand soulagement d'avoir définitivement effacé toute rancune à l'encontre de mon frère. Je crains pour lui qu’il reste beaucoup plus marqué que moi par ces souvenirs douloureux sur lesquels je ne reviendrai plus ici. Je lui dirai : « Frangin c’est définitivement réglé pour moi, ces cicatrices-là ne marquent plus mon âme, ne t’en fais pas, tu m'as en fin de compte permis de survivre et je dois t'en remercier, et c’est cela que tu dois maintenant considérer puisque les bienfaits ont compensé les erreurs de jugement. »

La vie le destin se rient de nous et nous enseignent à ne pas nous arrêter aux apparences, mais à apprendre à lire les voies compliquées des relations entre les faits.

As a former mac user, I also liked the dock. Since I am now back at niri, I wanted to have not only a statusbar (with waybar), but also a kind of dock again.

As I now had a lot of experience with customising the waybar, it made sense to convert it into a kind of dock.

One quickly reaches the limitations of waybar, but with 1-2 tricks I can be quite satisfied (at the moment).

DotFiles:

You can find the whole setup in my dotfiles on codeberg: https://codeberg.org/Nasendackel/dotfiles

Step 1: A “Start” Menu

You need to create a custom module that accesses an XML file. The commands are specified in the config of waybar and the XML provides the menu structure in GTK.

waybar conf:

"custom/startmenu": {
    "format" : " ",
    "tooltip": false,
    "menu": "on-click",
    "menu-file": "~/.config/waybar/startmenu.xml",
    "menu-actions": {
		"about": "~/.config/niri/bin/about.sh",
		"info": "resources",
        	"shutdown": "systemctl poweroff",
        	"reboot": "systemctl reboot",
		"suspend": "systemctl suspend",
		"lock": "swaylock -f",
    },
},

startmenu.xml:

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<interface>
<object class="GtkMenu" id="menu">
 	<child>
		<object class="GtkMenuItem" id="about">
			<property name="label"> About</property>
    		</object>
	</child>
	<child>
		<object class="GtkMenuItem" id="info">
			<property name="label"> Ressources</property>
    		</object>
	</child>
	<child>
      		<object class="GtkSeparatorMenuItem" id="delimiter1"/>
    	</child>
    	<child>
		<object class="GtkMenuItem" id="lock">
			<property name="label"> Lock Screen</property>
        	</object>
	</child>
	<child>
        	<object class="GtkMenuItem" id="suspend">
			<property name="label"> Suspend</property>
        	</object>
	</child>
   	<child>
        	<object class="GtkMenuItem" id="reboot">
			<property name="label">󰑓 Reboot</property>
        	</object>
    	</child>
  	<child>
        	<object class="GtkMenuItem" id="shutdown">
			<property name="label">  Shutdown</property>
        	</object>
	</child>
</object>
</interface>

Step 2: Taskbar Module

The taskbar module lists all open apps. Unfortunately, you can only create shortcuts or list open apps with the Waybar. A classic dock is not possible. However, since I have assigned all important apps to shortcuts, only the display of open apps is sufficient for me.

It is important to set ‘sort-by-app-id’ to true so that the apps are grouped and sorted accordingly (see Step 4).

waybar conf:

"wlr/taskbar": {
	"format": "{icon}",
	"icon-theme": "Papirus",
	"icon-size": 32,
	"on-click": "minimize-raise",
	"active-first": false,
	"sort-by-app-id": true,
	"app_ids-mapping": {
		"kitty": "10_kitty",
		"librewolf": "20_librewolf",
		"firefox": "21_firefox",
		"chromium-browser": "23_chromium",
		"thunderbird-esr": "30_thunderbird",
		"dev.geopjr.Tuba": "31_tuba",
		"org.gnome.Fractal": "32_fractal",
		"signal": "33_signal",
	},
},

Step 3: Style

CSS is great because I understand it. The waybar and its modules can be customised easily.

waybar style.css:

#custom-startmenu {
  font-size: 24px;
  background-position: 6px center;
  background-repeat: no-repeat;
  background-size: 38px;
  border-style: hidden;
  padding:6px 20px 4px 20px;
  border-radius:1rem;
  background-image: url('niri-icon2.svg');
  background-color: @accent;
  margin:0 0 0 4px;
  border-bottom: 2px solid transparent;
}

#custom-startmenu:hover {
  background-image: url('niri-icon0.svg');
}

#taskbar {
  margin:0;
}

#taskbar button {
  font-size: 24px;
  background-position: center center;
  background-repeat: no-repeat;
  background-size: 32px;
  border-style: hidden;
  padding:6px 8px 4px 8px;
  margin:0 0 0 12px;
  background-color: @theme_base_color;
  border-radius: 1rem;
  border-bottom: 2px solid transparent;
}

#taskbar button.active {
  border-bottom: 2px solid @accent;
}

#taskbar button:hover {
  border-bottom: 2px solid @accent;
}

Step 4: Sorting icons

Now it's getting dirty. Sorting / grouping by app-id has the disadvantage that waybar here goes bluntly by alphabet. But I would like to sort by the workspaces ... is not possible!

So a little trick ... Rename the app-id with a numbering. I follow the assignment in config.kdl in niri. Terminal is always on workspace 1, browser on 2 and everything with communication on workspace 3. (See step 2).

But now there is another problem. By renaming the app, the waybar can no longer find the icon.

This means that .local/share/applications according .desktop files with the same name must be created.

Example 10_kitty.desktop:

[Desktop Entry]
Version=1.0
Type=Application
Name=kitty
Icon=utilities-x-terminal
NoDisplay=true

NoDisplay=true is important to not display it in dmenu (like rofi).

Our Father Who art in heaven Hallowed be Thy name Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily Bread And forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil

Amen

Jesus is Lord! Come Lord Jesus!

Come Lord Jesus! Christ is Lord!

Wed-3-DK 🇩🇰

By Nightflight upon range Mixed landing for the Sanhedrin Prayers for the African Be it who made each detainment In a century of war There are mechanics at leisure And places for attack Impressionable feasting without servants Mystery bars of gold Kushner in peril Courthouses and cars and cars and cars The putin dilemma is for oil to keep on spilling At last there is nothing but war And we invited the Russians to Russia Why fly when there is fever Plain yogurt on offer Bring lead Why, trying times You are art and you are bust And the terror-man is generally for admiration To courses about corruption Russians swinging with society Apple knows exactly what happens, when in Russia Pre-Cambrian dinner With no photo op For thoughts about when to invade

Wander, Saunter Blue

In times of proportion A Maliseet friend And irving makes no apologies To the detriment of time Screaming No mercy I had the time of a Canadian Truly Apostolic Unfair to my Yukon ways Unto four men in an apartment All were certain for existence Making presents by limelight Scraping just to get by

I am circled by a friend And have new relations with Santa On my bigger lay would recognize The assumptions of a roofer But there were days between promise And I mostly stole men’s pride For dancing reindeer-like On account of new Prime Minister Like the big one in the States But grand omen Queen and Country There was certainess to this being Mostly seeing hearts in pair While relying on Good Europe

But enough of the ale There are men who die for Winter As chefs, and trumpeters, and clowns A fortune in Jamaica — not here The right hand of a sauntering man Likes to see what goes Into the coin return and the palace it built No luckier than me

And boots and bonnets clear In time for secretary’s win I print by day and use the stars For winningness and beauty

But farewell to Europe War In months a man is beheaded To the Kings and Queens, A royal regard, That not all days are hell

Once a powerful earthquake In the logic of Aberdeen Waiting days and nights, but no more The hell to pay is prediction Absolute a money win And Jenga’s Craig This ruthless ally knows

In City and by the papers A polite and wicked people Who give no sonnet of opinion Of Royals and the Other Thinking Spare A man who prays And causes Heaven Bits of consular, And knighthood, And respite .. And Respect

Off with days of indignity To the fully qualified Sir Keir I blip til days are better still In respect and seeing blue- The time of year In Others’ Winter And landing like life, Like new

In the days of elder firm belief There are heroes like the Lithuanian- The One who fell Six hundred floors While praying Search In Christ For the missing in light And props for mere prayers A Queen to rescue mayhem But six across is in the net, I’m dreaming and I know

Love for London,

Jeff

How I Won The Russian Election

Champagne and dirty roses A course of wallops to renew Lairs of fire and lockup A new constitution Grey and green and great Where whales dare to go We had one party And one prison The desperate to decide Derail nothing but their own And in prejudice I carry a knife Thinking this is holy But due to what- An ambulance for Navalny Throes of temptation to let him be And officers greeted me there I had a wish To be great in America too And decided better days Were red, white, and blue

👎

Stranger Things Season 5, Part 1 Netflix

The Stranger Things franchise is a hot mess. Bloated, convoluted plot, a chorus of characters to track, and the stars are now adults playing teens. But by the fourth episode of Part 1, I was back in.

The epic Boss Battle of Part 1 is the best action sequence I’ve watched all year. The Sorcerer twist was a solid payoff of nine years of loyalty and character development.

The show is a crockpot stew of nerd nostalgia, 80s revivalism, and theme-park thrills. That flavor remains even as the show expands, both in the story and its megawatt popularity.

Finish it

#StrangerThings #TVReview #Netflix #SciFi #PopCulture #FediTV #Television #100WordReview #Larrys100 #100DaysToOffload

botella uno yo te veo bien

botella dos bien bien no estoy

botella tres es que quiere tener solera / ser una antigüedad

botella uno pero si es una monada

botella dos yo me veo común / común común

botella tres no eres antigua pero vintage sí que eres

botella dos de vidrio malo

botella uno no hables así / llevas un magnífico tapón que heredaste de tu abuela

botella tres perteneció a Isabel II

botella dos no te burles de mí

botella uno lo más importante es la educación que te hemos dado

botella tres y lo que ha costado

botella dos eso no sirve de nada / ahora todo es como lo ven a uno

botella uno te equivocas / hay jóvenes que valoran la educación

botella tres y no ha llevado bebidas gaseosas ni embriagantes

botella dos ni de ninguna clase

botella tres no dramatices

botella uno has llevado agua / y a mucho honor

botella dos para eso me trajeron al mundo / qué desgracia

botella tres la juventud

botella uno tú eras peor / presumiste ser de buen coñac francés

botella tres y lo fui hasta que te conocí

botella uno ja

/ fin

A zine chronicling the Conquering the Barbarian Altanis D&D campaign.

This issue does not feature any session reports. Instead, I catch up with questions from other Ever & Anon APA contributors.

You can download the issue here.

Overlord's Annals zine is available as part of the Ever & Anon APA, issue 6:

#Zine

Drove home, and then needed to throw up. But trips over. Love E so much.

I underestimated how nice a wireless keyboard would be. Because the keyboard on my laptop is alright. And I like typing, but I've also started talking more into my computer and started liking it even more.

But the biggest gain is not in the – initially not so certain, but after some testing definitely appreciated, and markedly – improved typing feel, but in the freedom to move further away from the screen and sit in different postures – like in the lotus seat in front of the desk, with the keyboard on the back of my right heel.

And I can even still trigger the voice dictation tool from this posture with the wireless keyboard. (Which feels odd at times, even when I'm all on my own.)

The rotating knob in the top right corner, that I had to put in there by myself – so far it seems like I overrated it. I still change volume by pressing the volume buttons. What's nice is that I can also press it.

And also that I can change the colored background lighting by pressing Fn + Arrow keys on the keyboard. Instead of the keys around the one I press lighting up in light blue I now have the whole keyboard glowing in orange.

I've always held the opinion that we can demonize public figures, Hitler, all the people who’ve committed horrible things all we want, but we all have to remember, that everyone has a little bit of Hitler in them. The evil that was in Hitler’s heart is the same evil that resides inside your heart, and my heart. And I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a shitter, and by many standards, not a good person.

“A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart.” (Proverbs 21:2-3)

People who know me will disagree with my statement. But they’ve never seen the thoughts that fly through my head, and they don’t know that I take delight in evil.

Sometimes, I just want to see the world burn. I’m not so psychopathic that I’ll see a dead person and smile, but I am happy when people around me encounter miserable events in their lives. And it’s all because I’m miserable pretty much all the time. I just want to see them feel as unhappy as I do. Yesterday, I heard a member of the worship team at church talk about some church drama that was going on, and how the team had abruptly gotten disbanded. I must have been jealous of the close community that they had together, because I admit I had to stop myself from cracking a smile, imagining that community fall apart. So that each of them could be as lonely and empty as I feel every day. And it’s not like these are people I hate, either. I think they love God, and I think highly of them. It’s fucking horrible, I know. But this is the truth. Why can’t I be happy for other people when they are happy, despite whatever I’m going through? Why do I wish that everyone would drop to my level, instead of wishing that I could be as happy as other people around me?

I also am a hedonist.

No Face, a spirit inside the movie Spirited Away, is a spirit that possesses an insatiable hunger, and grows bigger and bigger, consuming everything in its path. When I see this guy, I see myself. Except instead of having a bottomless stomach, I feel like I have a hole in my mine, so that everything I eat fulfills for a moment, and falls out, leaving me empty again. And instead of food, I consume pleasure. I don’t drink anymore, but I still haven’t been able to cut porn and masturabation from my life, and I still browse internet reel slop for insane amounts of time. Sometimes, I feel possessed, and I can’t stop myself, no matter how much I want to, and like there’s a monster in me doing things that I don’t actually want to do. But I must want to do it, because that monster is just my desire.

I also hate authority. This comes from pride. Because I hate when people tell me what to do.

I also like watching that yuri shit and that menhera shit. Yuri because it’s saccharine sweet. It’s not hot to me, but emotionally satisfying for some reason. Menhera shit because misery loves company, and I fantasize about falling into a deep pit of a degenerate lifestyle of giving up on everything.

And the list goes on and on. Christianity is not a religion about do’s and don’ts, and endless rituals to appease a God. God cannot be appeased by our works alone, and, if I understand correctly, really is a God that desires our hearts and a faith in him more than anything. Of course, God is pleased by good deeds, but for our deeds to even be considered good, God judges our hearts and decides if it is in the right place. Yet faith without works is also dead.

This is a big concern of mine because I have a deep-seated fear that Jesus will cast me away from him on judgement day, saying that He did not know me (related article explaining this). The article paraphrases this sentiment.

“Jesus is saying to the five foolish virgins, ‘I don’t see in you the life, the evidence, of loving my name and departing from evil. You’re not mine. I don’t know you.’” (from the article)

Love has emotional components to it, but also many actional components to it, and I feel like I have so much evil already in my life that I do, not because I’m unaware of it, but because I’m either unwilling to cut it out because I love my sin too much, and or I’m wrestling with it, and losing. I’m to love God more than anything, including the sin in my life, and if I don’t depart from my sin, isn’t it evidence that I don’t even love God more than the sin in my life?

At this point, I just want to give up. For the past 3 weeks, I’ve had some life-ending depression, that I think was maybe triggered by watching porn again. I don’t have much hope left in me. I don’t even have many thoughts anymore. Even if I marry, I have no confidence I can do my family justice. I don’t know if I have anything good to offer this world in other respects either. I have such large mood swings all the time that I don’t trust my emotions to tell me the truth about anything anymore.

I just want to give up on myself. GOOD BYE!!!!!!!!

#personal

The Rules.

I can go on and on about the rules and regulations of this great sport we call football. The rules matter, how they are enforced and adjudicated matter, and how they are created matters. Rulebooks should have some fluidity as they should be changed when needed. However, they also should not be changed all the time or changed just for the sake of change.

One of the biggest differences between the Brand New Shield and the NFL will be the processes in regards to creating and amending the rulebook. There will not be a couple committees who meet in posh locations a couple times a year with the most expensive food money can buy on the table. Let's get that out of the way first. There will also not be these weird votes on rules that are only among some extremely wealthy owners without others involved having a say. There needs to be a strong collaborative effort to create a rulebook that can be officiated and adjudicated by the refs both on the field and in the booth. Yes, there will be at least one ref in the booth during games of the Brand New Shield should games actually happen.

Honestly, the NFL Rulebook is one of the worst rulebooks ever written. It is filled with redundancy, ambiguity, rules that have exceptions that have exceptions that default back to the original rule, and of course some outright contradictions. I'm not going to go into all my gripes here, I just wanted to paint a general picture of what the problem is. The way the rulebook is written puts players, coaches, and the officials all at a disadvantage. Rulebooks should be as clear, concise, and objective as possible. The NFL Rulebook is none of those things.

One of the things that would make things better is to make challenges universal. Anything can be challenged, but you only have two challenges, which is very similar to how it works in the CFL. Making everything reviewable ensures that the game gets officiated and adjudicated correctly. Creating processes to make sure that challenges and reviews are handled efficiently and effectively is crucial to the success of any football league.

Using technology to assist officials is something else I have advocated for. Some kind of iterative offline technology with camera assistance could definitely be a boon for sports as a whole. It would have to be implemented correctly, but anything that improves officiating should be looked at and considered.

In conclusion, a better rulebook, officials in the booth in addition to on the field, and using technology to assist the officials when needed would all greatly improve the football experience.

There is a moment in every believer’s life when Romans 10 stops being a passage you’ve heard before and starts becoming the very oxygen you breathe. It’s the moment when you realize Paul is not merely giving theological insights—he is opening the door to the greatest miracle God ever made available to human beings: the miracle of salvation that does not come from striving, performance, impressing God, or trying to earn your way home. Instead, it comes from something far simpler, far nearer, far more personal. It comes from the heart and from the mouth. It comes from the place where belief and confession meet, where faith rises, where grace rushes in, and where a sinner becomes a son or daughter in a single breath.

Romans 10 is the chapter of accessibility. It declares boldly that the righteousness of God is not far away, not hidden, not locked behind religious systems, not buried under layers of complexity. Paul writes with the urgency of a man who has seen the inside of the law and the inside of grace and is standing between the two, pleading with the world to grasp the simplicity of what God has done.

This is the heartbeat of Romans 10: God made salvation so close that even the weakest person, the most broken sinner, the person who thinks they are too far gone, can reach it. Salvation is not on a distant mountain. It is not across the sea. It is not hidden in the heavens. It is near you—so near that it sits on the edge of your tongue and rests in the center of your heart.

And that’s why Romans 10 is not simply an explanation of doctrine. It is a rescue rope thrown into the darkest places of the soul. It is God's voice saying, “You do not have to climb your way to Me. I came all the way to you.”

When you read this chapter slowly, as if you were hearing it for the first time, something inside you begins to melt a little. You feel the warmth of that nearness. You feel the pressure of striving start to release. You sense the invitation to stop living in fear and to start living in faith. This is a chapter that calls you out of self-effort and into surrender, out of religious exhaustion and into a relationship made possible by a Savior who finished the work before you even took your first breath.

So today, we step into Romans 10 with reverence, wonder, and the deep desire to catch every ounce of truth that Paul poured into these words.

What if the freedom you’ve been seeking is closer than you ever imagined? What if the hope you’ve been praying for is already within reach? What if the breakthrough you keep chasing is waiting on the other side of one simple choice—to believe and to confess?

Let’s walk through Romans 10 and watch the gospel unfold in real time.

---

Paul’s Heart For Israel And The Heart Of God

Romans 10 opens with a declaration that is both beautiful and heartbreaking: Paul longs for Israel to be saved. His Jewish brothers and sisters were zealous for God. They had passion, devotion, intensity, and commitment. They prayed. They studied. They fasted. They made sacrifices. They followed commandments. They created fences around the law so they wouldn’t break the law. They did everything they thought they were supposed to do.

But Paul says something devastating: they had zeal, but not according to knowledge.

In our modern world, we tend to judge spiritual health by one word: passion. Is someone passionate for God? Do they look committed? Do they sound spiritual? Do they carry the language, the tone, the appearance of someone who is “all in”? But Romans 10 reminds us that passion is not enough. Zeal is not enough. Emotion is not enough. Good intentions are not enough. You can be running hard in the wrong direction. You can be deeply sincere and sincerely mistaken.

Paul says Israel did not know the righteousness of God, so they tried to establish their own. They tried to reach God by climbing the ladder of personal holiness, religious duty, and moral performance. They were measuring themselves against the law, not understanding that the law was never meant to save—it was meant to reveal the need for a Savior.

And this is where many people still stand today, even inside churches. They try to earn God’s approval by doing enough good things. They try to ease their guilt by trying harder. They try to reach God by self-improvement. They try to repair their brokenness by becoming “better people.”

But Paul says plainly: Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.

That one sentence changes everything.

Christ ended the exhausting treadmill. Christ ended the system of striving. Christ ended the impossible standard. Christ ended the pressure to prove yourself. Christ ended the idea that salvation comes from your effort.

He ended it by fulfilling the law in your place, satisfying its demands, carrying its weight, and then offering His righteousness as a gift to anyone who would believe. He became the destination the law had always pointed toward.

Paul is not angry with Israel. He is heartbroken. He sees people he loves chasing God through the wrong door. And he writes Romans 10 as a plea—not just to them, but to the whole world—that the door is already open.

And the door has a name. His name is Jesus.

---

The Righteousness That Doesn’t Make You Climb

Paul then contrasts two kinds of righteousness: the righteousness that comes from the law and the righteousness that comes from faith. One demands performance; the other demands trust. One is based on achieving; the other is based on receiving.

The righteousness based on the law says, “Do this and live.” But the righteousness based on faith says something radically different. It speaks a new language, a language that the human heart desperately needs to hear.

Paul quotes Moses, saying:

“Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’ That is, to bring Christ down.”

You don’t have to ascend to God. You don’t have to climb the ladder of moral perfection. You don’t have to achieve a spiritual height that convinces God you are worth saving.

Then he says:

“Do not say, ‘Who will descend into the abyss?’ That is, to bring Christ up from the dead.”

You don’t have to descend into impossible depths. You don’t have to pay for your past. You don’t have to take on the suffering Christ already bore. You don’t have to pull yourself out of the pit by force of will.

Paul’s point is profound: The work is already done. The distance is already bridged. The burden is already lifted. Christ has already come down. Christ has already risen up. Christ has already done what you could never do.

If salvation depended on human effort, most people would never reach it. Some wouldn’t even know where to begin. But God saw that. God knew that. God understood the weakness of the human condition. And so He built a salvation so close that even the most wounded person, the least educated person, the most broken sinner, the most forgotten soul, the most unlikely candidate, could receive it.

This is why Paul says:

“The word is near you.”

Not far. Not inaccessible. Not for the elite. Not for the disciplined only. Not for the morally impressive.

Near. Near enough to touch. Near enough to embrace. Near enough to say yes. Near enough to save you in a single moment of surrendered faith.

---

The Confession That Changes Eternity

From here, Paul gives us one of the most foundational statements in all of Scripture:

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

This is the gospel in its simplest and most powerful form. Salvation is not a mystical experience. It is not a reward for good behavior. It is not a merit badge. It is not something you earn after demonstrating spiritual potential.

It is a confession born out of belief.

Confession and belief go together because the heart and the mouth are connected. What the heart knows, the mouth reveals. What the heart embraces, the mouth proclaims. But notice the order: belief first, confession second. Salvation is not about externally proving yourself; it is about internally receiving truth.

Belief is when the weight of Jesus’ identity sinks into your heart—when you know He is Lord, not in a theoretical sense but in a personal one. Confession is the outward echo of that inward certainty.

When Paul says “confess,” he is not describing a ritual. He is describing allegiance. Confessing Jesus as Lord means surrendering every other lordship claim in your life. It means stepping out of self-rule and into God’s rule. It means acknowledging that Jesus is not just Savior—He is Master, King, Leader, Shepherd, and the rightful authority over your entire life.

Then Paul says something else:

“Believe that God raised Him from the dead.”

This is essential because the resurrection is the centerpiece of everything. If Jesus is not risen, He is not Lord. If He is not risen, He cannot be Savior. If He is not risen, your faith is empty. So Paul says salvation is rooted not in vague spirituality but in the historical, literal, bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ.

When your heart believes and your mouth confesses, something supernatural happens. Your sins are forgiven. Your record is wiped clean. Your guilt is removed. Your spirit is made alive. Your eternity is rewritten. You go from lost to found, from death to life, from darkness to light.

Not because of you. Because of Him.

Not because of your worthiness. Because of His mercy.

Not because of your performance. Because of His grace.

This is the miracle Romans 10 reveals. Salvation is not earned—it is received. And the door is open to anyone.

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The Universality Of The Gospel

Paul then writes something revolutionary: “There is no distinction between Jew and Greek.”

At that time in history, this statement was explosive. Jews and Gentiles were divided by culture, belief, background, customs, and centuries of separation. But the gospel breaks barriers. It erases dividing lines. It opens the door to all people, from every nation, every background, every walk of life.

Paul says:

“The same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on Him.”

There are no favorites in the kingdom. No privileged class. No spiritual insiders. No outsiders. No one too far gone. No one beyond reach.

And then comes a promise so wide, so open, so inclusive that it shatters every excuse a human heart might raise:

“Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Everyone. Not some. Not the good people. Not the religious people. Not the morally impressive. Not the ones with spiritual backgrounds. Not the ones who have their lives together. Not the ones who look like Christians on the outside.

Everyone.

Call, and you are saved. Cry out, and He hears you. Trust Him, and He responds.

There is no world in which someone cries out to Jesus from a genuine heart and God says, “Not you.” Every barrier humans set up—God tears down.

If Romans 10 teaches us anything, it’s this: no one is disqualified from grace except the person who refuses it.

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The Chain That Changes The World

After explaining the miracle of salvation, Paul shifts gears. He begins laying out the divine chain reaction that God uses to reach the world through ordinary people.

“How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent?”

These verses are more than rhetorical questions. They are the blueprint of the Great Commission.

Paul is describing the mission of the church: People cannot call on Jesus until they believe. They cannot believe until they hear. They cannot hear until someone speaks. They cannot hear someone speak unless someone obeys the call to be sent.

This means the gospel spreads not through angels descending from heaven but through people like you and me—people who open their mouths, share their stories, preach the Word, love boldly, and carry the name of Jesus into the world.

This is why Paul says:

“How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

It is not the beauty of the feet themselves; it is the beauty of the mission. The messenger becomes beautiful because the message is beautiful. When you carry the gospel, you carry the most beautiful news ever given to humanity.

But Paul also acknowledges reality: “Not all obeyed.”

Some hear and reject. Some hear and hesitate. Some hear and resist. But that does not diminish the importance of the message or the urgency of the mission. Faith still comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ. And that means the world still needs messengers. The world still needs voices. The world still needs believers who will not be silent.

Romans 10 is a reminder that salvation is available to all—but the message must still be carried by those who already know the truth.

---

Why Some Reject The Message

Paul ends the chapter with a sobering truth: Israel heard the message, but many rejected it. The gospel was proclaimed to them first, and yet many walked away, clinging to the law instead of embracing the grace that came through Christ.

Why does this matter?

Because rejection is not a sign of a weak message. Rejection is not a sign of a failing mission. Rejection is not a sign that God’s plan is broken.

It is a sign of the human heart.

Some reject grace because grace requires surrender. Some reject truth because truth demands obedience. Some reject the gospel because it removes pride and gives God all the glory. Some reject because they cannot let go of their own attempts to be righteous.

Paul says Israel was “a disobedient and contrary people.” But even here, the heart of God shines through. He says:

“All day long I have held out My hands.”

Not angrily. Not reluctantly. Not conditionally. But patiently. Lovingly. Willingly.

God didn’t close the door on Israel. Israel closed the door on God. And yet His hands remain open. His posture remains welcoming. His heart remains ready.

Romans 10 ends not in despair but in invitation: God is still reaching. God is still calling. God is still saving. And the same grace extended to Israel is extended to all.

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Living Romans 10 Today

Romans 10 is not meant to be read as ancient theology. It is meant to be lived as present reality.

You live Romans 10 when you stop trying to earn God’s approval and start trusting His grace.

You live Romans 10 when you replace self-reliance with faith in what Christ already accomplished.

You live Romans 10 when you recognize that salvation is not distant—it is near.

You live Romans 10 when you confess Jesus as Lord not just once but every day, choosing His voice over the noise of the world.

You live Romans 10 when you step into your calling as a messenger, carrying the gospel into conversations, relationships, workplaces, and moments you didn’t even realize God had prepared.

You live Romans 10 by believing in your heart, confessing with your mouth, and walking out the miracle of grace one step at a time.

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Final Reflection

Romans 10 is one of those chapters that meets people in different places at different times.

It meets the sinner who thinks salvation is too far away. It meets the religious person who has been working too hard and resting too little. It meets the believer who needs to remember the simplicity of the gospel. It meets the messenger who needs courage to speak. It meets the weary soul who forgot that God’s hands are still open.

It is the chapter that whispers, “You don’t have to climb. You don’t have to descend. You don’t have to prove anything. You only have to believe.”

And when you do, heaven moves. Grace floods in. Salvation becomes real. And your life begins again.

Romans 10 is the nearness of God wrapped in the language of faith, the simplicity of salvation, and the beauty of the gospel.

And that nearness is available right now.

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Your friend in Christ, Douglas Vandergraph

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V. Castro 186 pages Creature Publishing (2022)

Read this if you like: Feminist horror, optimistic post-apocalypses, Aztec mythology and culture

tl;dr summary: Collection of short stories featuring powerful women fucking shit up in various ways and places.

See the book on Bookshop

My first experience reading V. Castro was her novel, Goddess of Filth, which I found an enchanting blend of Aztec mythology with an updated take on the coming of age narrative. Based on how much I loved that work, I knew I had to get my hands on her story collection when I saw it beckoning from Creature Publishing’s table at AWP. Reading its back cover summary only made me more excited. There was obviously a speculative element in Goddess of Filth—it centers on the idea of a teenager being possessed by an Aztec goddess—but the setting was real-world present, the characters by and large human. I was excited to see how Castro’s voice would translate to the more far-flung forms of speculative narrative that were promised in this set of stories.

Out of Aztlan is what I’d call a semi-linked collection. All 8 stories are bound together by the unifying theme described on the opening page. “I wandered for years in and out of different skins, colors of lipsticks, shoes, and beds. But still I could not find the path that led to Aztlan,” this passage starts, going on to conclude that she is Aztlan, “And we all have our own Aztlan. We just need to allow ourselves to be led back.”

Each of the characters featured in this collection are doing this in some way: allowing themselves to be led back to their true path, or their true selves—or, in many cases, exerting their will to reframe their present circumstances and align them with their true purpose. Another unifying thread across the collection is that all of them feature a female protagonist, predominantly in a first-person voice, though with a few instances of third-person scattered throughout. In some cases, she has a male love interest who also has his own arc, but even when this is the case the woman’s perspective is clearly the focal point, and there are several stories with almost entirely female casts—something that I found to be refreshing, not just for the fact that this is rare to find in a speculative fiction collection, but also because it felt completely natural, so much so I didn’t consciously notice until I was thinking back through the stories in preparation to write the review.

Despite these similarities in regards to theme, character, and POV, the stories in Out of Aztlan don’t ever feel repetitive. Castro accomplishes this by offsetting the similarities with variety in regards to setting and plot. Interestingly, the stories that are closest to existing in reality are the first and the last, book-ending the more fantastical works in between. The first story, “Templo Mayor”, is set in a speculative near-future that is an exaggeration of the post-Covid world. In this reality, the quarantine lasted longer, for five years, and was accompanied by blackouts and other catastrophes that left people feeling even more isolation. The unnamed protagonist travels to Mexico City as the last stop on an adventure of rediscovery, ending up alone with a supposed guide who promises to lead her into a previously unexplored chamber of the Templo Mayor. He turns out to have more sinister motives, leading into a satisfying “hunter becomes the hunted” kind of narrative that ends with the discovery of a living goddess, Coyolxauhqui.

The theme of a woman reclaiming her power through violence is central to the anchor story, “Palm Beach Poison”, as well. In this one, though, the protagonist is a maternal figure, turning to violence not in defense of her own life but in vengeance for wrongs done on her daughter and other exploited young women. This is the only story that feels like it could take place in reality, with no speculative elements, and weirdly was also one of my favorites, I think because of how well the powerful protective urge of protagonist Ms. Dominguez comes through on the page. She feels like a real mother with understandable motivations, and an easy character to root for.

In between these near-reality settings are varying degrees of slant reality. “Dawn of the Box Jelly” is set in a very near future, where the warming waters and ocean pollution have had an unexpected impact on sea life. “Diving for Pearls” gives the reader an alternate history of the indigenous people made to risk their lives to gather pearls for the Spanish conquistadors. “Asylum” is a slightly further post-apocalyptic future that flips a cartel leader from villain to hero. “At the Bottom of my Lake of Blood” seems to be set in a more different near-future apocalypse, though told from the POV of an Aztec death goddess resurreced in the process. “Lobster Trap” has a fun POV, too—a lobster plotting revenge on humans for hunting her kin.

The story that’s the most speculative in terms of setting is “El Alacrán”, which is another post-apocalypse kind of narrative, though set far enough in the future it feels like a secondary world. This is also the longest work, which I appreciated—it was a world I was happy to linger in, with a fun magic swasbucklers kind of vibe. The protagonist is the titular Alacrán, or scorpion, captain of a pirate ship in a post-technological world, who has to team up with her arch rival Ossibus to resist conquest by an invading king. “El Alacrán” might just be my favorite piece in the collection and I especially appreciated its structure—the details of the characters and world are used very effectively to help build tension and add stakes, and it’s got a page-turning pacing that I appreciate in a story of this length.

My only major critique of Out of Atzlan is less one of writing than editing. There were aspects of it that made it feel a bit rushed—enough small typos and other proofreading errors for me to notice, for one thing, but there were also places the writing itself felt like it could be tightened. That said, it was never enough to pull me out of the story, and when it comes to core elements like worldbuilding and character development, it’s well-crafted. The stories in this collection blend genres in a very fun and fresh way, and they’re full of characters who are easy to root for.

 

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