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❞ If you keep gazing at your inspiration, you could become a genius. ~ me

@personmedia @personmediastart

Starting a journey to fix loneliness. Not building another social app — building Person Media. First question: What if your online identity wasn’t a profile, but a person? 🧵

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I’m Nigerian — and growing up, depression wasn’t something we deeply understood. In nursing school, it showed up in textbooks like hypertension or malaria: “a condition… treated with medication.” Simple. Clinical. Detached.

Until I left home.

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Traveling and working as a nurse, I discovered a truth that broke my heart: depression is often rooted in loneliness — and loneliness doesn’t respond to medication. It responds to presence.

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I’ve seen loneliness in busy cities, crowded trains, silent cafés. Everyone “connected,” yet everyone alone. Personal space turned into emotional walls. The walls turned normal. The normal turned unhealthy.

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And social media? It took those walls and added an algorithm. So instead of reaching for each other, we reach for screens. We scroll. We perform. We disappear. Presence replaced by content. Humanity replaced by feeds.

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Then something strange happened — the moment that pulled me back to my idea.

One day, I got home from work and found a big card slipped into my mailbox. A list of services from someone in the area:

• Home tidying
• Dishwashing
• Errands

But the last item stopped me in my tracks:

Companionship.

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It was written in Finnish — I don’t even know the exact word now — but the meaning was clear: spending time with someone.

Someone had listed companionship as an actual service.

I froze. Bag still on my back. Winter jacket still on. Just standing in my room, gazing at the card.

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In that moment, a thought hit me:

“If you keep gazing at your inspiration, you could become a genius.”

And that card was a sign. A reminder. A push.

Person Media suddenly made even more sense.

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Because companionship — real human presence — is missing everywhere. We don’t need more posts. We don’t need more content. We need each other.

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That’s why Person Media exists: A digital world that starts online… and eventually flows naturally offline. A world where the person is the medium. Where presence replaces performance. Where relationships have meaning and structure. Where time with people actually counts.

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And the first prototype is the World Calendar — a live map of human presence, not content.

• Yesterday’s mood
• Today’s presence
• Tomorrow’s companionship windows

A gentle reminder that humanity is still here — just harder to see.

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So yes — this is the beginning of a four-year public journey. I’m building Person Media openly, slowly, honestly.

Because I’ve met loneliness face-to-face. And I’m not willing to let it keep winning.

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Say hi to Person Media. A new kind of world — starting first online. Built for presence. Built for companionship. Built for humanity.

More soon.

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Before you go — I’m curious:

1. Have you ever experienced a moment that made you rethink loneliness or connection?
   
2. When did you first notice that digital connection wasn’t real connection?
   
3. What’s one moment in your life that made you realize how powerful real presence or companionship can be?

John 19 is the chapter where the weight of the world shifts. Where eternity leans forward. Where heaven becomes quiet. Where love proves itself deeper than nails, stronger than hatred, and more powerful than death.

Some chapters in Scripture speak to the mind. Some speak to the emotions. But John 19 speaks directly to the soul.

This is the chapter where the story of salvation is not just taught — it is lived, embodied, displayed, and fulfilled. This is the chapter where Jesus does not simply talk about love — He carries it. This is the chapter where the Lamb of God completes what began before the foundation of the world.

John 19 is holy ground.

It is not just a recounting of events. It is the beating center of the Christian faith. It is the moment when God’s heart breaks open in the form of surrender, sacrifice, and unstoppable love.

And today, we walk slowly through it — with reverence, awe, and a spirit ready to feel the depth of what Jesus endured for us.

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The chapter begins inside the courts of power. Pilate stands in front of a decision he does not know how to make. He has Jesus in his custody — innocent, calm, unwavering. And he has the crowd outside — furious, demanding, unyielding.

Pilate is torn between conscience and pressure, truth and politics, justice and fear.

But the crowd will not let up. Their voices rise. Their demands intensify. Their accusations echo through the stone corridors.

Crucify Him. Crucify Him. Crucify Him.

Pilate tries every option to avoid condemning Jesus. But nothing works. He has tried diplomacy. He has tried compromise. He has tried symbolic gestures. He has declared Jesus innocent multiple times.

But the crowd’s fury grows louder than his hesitation.

So Pilate orders Jesus to be flogged.

This is not a minor punishment. Roman flogging was brutal. It shredded skin. It tore muscle. It left men unrecognizable. Many did not survive it.

Jesus stands and receives every strike — silently, willingly, with love stronger than the whip.

This is not weakness. This is surrender with purpose.

The soldiers mock Him. They twist a crown of thorns and force it onto His head. They dress Him in a purple robe. They strike His face again and again.

And yet Jesus does not curse. He does not threaten. He does not retaliate.

He stands as the embodiment of Isaiah’s prophecy: “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He opened not His mouth.”

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Pilate brings Jesus out and presents Him to the crowd.

Behold the Man.

He hopes they will see the suffering and relent. He hopes they will understand that Jesus is no threat to Rome. He hopes pity will weaken their anger.

But the crowd has no pity. They see blood and demand more.

Crucify Him.

Pilate hesitates again, trying once more to release Him.

But the leaders’ voices cut deep: “If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar.”

Fear spreads across Pilate’s face.

He is cornered by political pressure. He is trapped between conscience and career. He is torn between doing right and protecting himself.

So he sits on the judge’s seat and makes the decision that will echo through eternity.

He hands Jesus over to be crucified.

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Jesus carries the cross.

The weight digs into His torn back. The wood scrapes the wounds left by the flogging. The journey is long. The pain is deep. The exhaustion is overwhelming.

But He continues.

Not because He is forced. But because He is committed to the mission of redemption.

At Golgotha, the soldiers stretch out His hands. They drive nails through flesh. They lift the cross upright.

And the Lamb of God begins His final hours.

Above His head, the sign reads: “Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews.”

Written in Hebrew, Latin, and Greek — the languages of religion, empire, and culture.

He is declared King to every part of the world.

The leaders protest the wording. Pilate responds with a sentence that echoes prophecy: “What I have written, I have written.”

Heaven whispers: Amen.

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Soldiers gamble for His clothing — fulfilling another prophecy as they cast lots for His garments.

Every detail of this chapter is Scripture being woven into reality. Every moment echoes ancient promises. Every action affirms that Jesus is fulfilling the Father’s plan down to the final breath.

But one of the most tender scenes in all of Scripture happens next.

Jesus looks down from the cross. He sees His mother. He sees John.

In the middle of cosmic redemption… In the middle of unimaginable pain… In the middle of carrying the sin of the world…

He sees a grieving mother.

He sees her pain. He sees her fear. He sees her heartbreak.

And He speaks the words of a loving Son:

“Woman, behold your son.”

Then to John: “Behold your mother.”

Even in agony, Jesus cares for others. Even in suffering, He makes sure Mary is not alone. Even on the cross, He fulfills the law and honors His mother.

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Then Jesus says something profound:

“I thirst.”

This simple statement holds galaxies of meaning.

He thirsts physically — His body breaking down from hours of suffering. He thirsts prophetically — fulfilling Psalm 69:21. He thirsts spiritually — representing the deep longing for the completion of the Father’s plan.

A jar of sour wine sits nearby. A sponge is lifted to His lips. He tastes it.

And then the moment comes — the moment history has waited for since Eden.

Jesus says:

“It is finished.”

The Greek word: tetelestai. A word of completion. A word used for debts paid in full. A word used when a mission reached its end. A word spoken not in defeat but in victory.

The work of salvation is complete. The price of sin is paid. The prophecy is fulfilled. The veil between God and humanity is ready to tear open.

Then Jesus bows His head and gives up His spirit.

He is not killed by force. He lays His life down willingly.

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Because it was the Day of Preparation, the leaders request that the bodies be removed before the Sabbath. The soldiers break the legs of the criminals to hasten death.

But when they come to Jesus, He is already dead. So they do not break His legs.

Instead, a soldier pierces His side with a spear. Blood and water flow out.

John pauses the story to testify: “He who saw it has borne witness… his testimony is true.”

The physical signs confirm the spiritual truth: The Lamb of God has been slain. The water symbolizes cleansing. The blood symbolizes atonement. The flow symbolizes life poured out.

Not one bone broken — fulfilling prophecy. Pierced in His side — fulfilling prophecy. Lifted up between sinners — fulfilling prophecy. Buried in a rich man’s tomb — fulfilling prophecy.

Everything aligns. Everything unfolds according to divine design. Everything points to the fact that Jesus is the Messiah.

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Then a surprising figure steps forward:

Joseph of Arimathea — a quiet believer, a secret disciple, a man of influence and courage.

He asks Pilate for the body of Jesus.

This is an act of devotion. This is an act of honor. This is an act of love.

Then Nicodemus appears — the man who once visited Jesus at night with questions. Now he arrives in daylight with a gift: a mixture of myrrh and aloes weighing about seventy-five pounds.

Together, they wrap Jesus’ body in linen and spices. They lay Him in a new tomb in a garden.

A garden — just like Eden. A garden — just like the place of betrayal. A garden — about to become the place of resurrection.

The world grows silent. Heaven holds its breath. The earth waits.

John 19 ends with Jesus in the tomb. But the story is far from over.

Love carried the world to the grave… so love could carry the world out of it.

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Your friend in Christ, Douglas Vandergraph

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s inspiring faith-based videos on YouTube

Support the ministry by buying Douglas a coffee

#faith #Jesus #GospelOfJohn #John19 #ChristianLiving #hope #encouragement #resurrection

Some chapters of Scripture read slowly, gently, and softly. John 18 does not.

John 18 crashes into the reader with intensity. It is a chapter soaked in tension, betrayal, political pressure, fear, violence, and divine stillness. It is one of the most emotionally charged nights in all of human history.

And yet, while humans shake, Jesus does not.

This is the night when torches burned through the darkness but could not expose weakness in the Son of God. This is the night when soldiers carried weapons, but God carried authority. This is the night when fear overwhelmed the disciples, but courage overflowed from Christ. This is the night when earthly powers flexed their muscles, but heaven refused to retreat.

John 18 reveals a Savior who does not run from suffering, does not bend under pressure, and does not lose Himself in the middle of chaos.

This is the night God’s courage filled the darkness.

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The chapter begins in a garden. Not just any garden—a familiar one, one Jesus visited often, one Judas knew well.

Jesus chooses this place intentionally. He does not hide from what is coming. He does not take a different route through the city. He does not find a more discreet location.

He goes exactly where Judas expects Him.

Because Jesus is not avoiding His purpose. He is embracing it.

A detachment of soldiers approaches. Torches flicker in the night. Lanterns glow. Metal armor clinks. Weapons shine in the dim light.

The world arrives armed, but Jesus steps forward unarmed.

He asks, “Who are you looking for?”

“Jesus of Nazareth,” they reply.

And then He speaks the divine name—the name spoken from the burning bush, the name with cosmic weight:

“I am.”

And the soldiers fall backward.

They do not fall because of a push. They fall because Truth spoke. They fall because God stood before them. They fall because the Word that created galaxies let them hear His identity with unfiltered force.

They rise again, shaken. Jesus repeats the question. They repeat their answer. He repeats His identity.

Then He says something astonishing in the middle of chaos:

“If you are looking for Me, let these men go.”

Even as danger closes in, He protects His disciples. Even as betrayal surrounds Him, His compassion does not shrink. Even as the journey to the cross begins, He still places Himself between His people and harm.

This is Jesus—love in action under pressure.

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Then Peter moves. Peter, who loves passionately. Peter, who acts before he thinks. Peter, who feels deeply and expresses it loudly.

He draws a sword and swings, cutting off the ear of the high priest’s servant.

Peter wants to defend Jesus. Peter wants to fight for the kingdom. Peter thinks the moment calls for force.

But Jesus immediately stops him.

“Put your sword away. Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given Me?”

The kingdom of God is not advanced by violence. The kingdom is not upheld by earthly weapons. God does not need human force to complete divine purpose.

Peter is fighting the wrong battle. Jesus is stepping into the right one.

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Jesus is bound and led away. Hands tied. Surrounded by soldiers.

But the binding of Jesus is not the binding of God’s power. He is not being captured—He is walking willingly. He is not being controlled—He is fulfilling Scripture. He is not being overpowered—He is embracing the path set before Him from the foundation of the world.

He is taken to Annas. Then to Caiaphas. Then eventually to Pilate.

Inside these walls, earthly authority tries to intimidate Him. But Jesus does not flinch.

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Meanwhile, outside, Peter warms himself by a fire. Fear claws at him. His courage drains. His confidence crumbles.

A servant girl asks, “Aren’t you one of His disciples?”

“I am not.”

Another voice asks. His answer is the same.

A relative of the man whose ear Peter cut off recognizes him. “I saw you with Him.”

“I do not know Him!”

And the rooster crows.

Peter’s heart shatters. Shame ignites. Fear overwhelms him. The disciple who once vowed to die for Jesus now denies Him three times.

But the grace of Christ is larger than Peter’s fear. This night will not define Peter’s ending. This night will become the beginning of his restoration.

John 18 teaches us this truth: God knows your weakness before you fall—and He plans your restoration before you rise.

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Inside, Jesus is questioned about His teaching. He responds with clarity:

“I have spoken openly… I said nothing in secret.”

A guard strikes Him.

The contrast is breathtaking:

A sinful creation strikes the sinless Creator. A fragile human raises a hand to the One who breathed life into him. A servant attempts to silence the Author of truth.

But Jesus remains composed.

“If I spoke the truth, why did you strike Me?”

He does not retaliate. He does not argue. He does not posture.

Truth does not crumble under pressure. Truth stands—even when struck.

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Jesus is taken to Pilate, the representative of Roman power. Pilate, the man used to being the most powerful voice in the room. Pilate, the man who rules by fear and intimidation.

But something about Jesus unsettles him. Something about this prisoner feels different. Something about this silence carries authority.

Pilate asks, “Are You the King of the Jews?”

And Jesus responds with supernatural calm: “My kingdom is not of this world.”

He does not say His kingdom is imaginary. He says it is undefeated.

He does not say His kingdom is small. He says it is eternal.

He does not say He is not a king. He says His kingship is unshakable.

Pilate presses further. Jesus tells him:

“For this reason I was born… to testify to the truth.”

Pilate then utters the most tragic question of the night: “What is truth?”

He asks the question while staring into the face of Truth Himself.

Few moments in Scripture reveal human blindness more clearly.

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Pilate tries to release Jesus. He declares Him innocent multiple times. He attempts compromise. He attempts negotiation.

But the religious leaders stir the crowd. Fear intensifies. Politics override justice.

Barabbas, a violent criminal, is set free. Jesus, innocent and holy, is condemned.

But this is not a failure. This is not the unraveling of hope. This is not the victory of darkness.

This is the plan. This is the purpose. This is the mission Jesus came to fulfill.

This is the Lamb of God stepping toward the cross to carry sin, shame, and the weight of the world.

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John 18 is a landscape of contrasts:

Jesus stands forward— soldiers fall backward.

Jesus speaks truth— leaders speak lies.

Jesus protects others— Peter protects himself.

Jesus remains steady— Pilate trembles.

Jesus surrenders willingly— Barabbas is freed unwillingly.

Jesus embodies divine strength— human systems reveal their weakness.

Light shines— darkness reacts.

And through every contrast, one truth is unmistakable:

Jesus is the only unshakable presence in the entire chapter.

He is the same today.

When your world feels unstable— He stands steady.

When fear tries to silence your faith— He remains near.

When chaos tries to consume your peace— He speaks calm.

When betrayal breaks your heart— He holds your future.

When systems around you fail— His kingdom remains.

John 18 shows us a Jesus who is powerful enough to knock soldiers to the ground with a sentence and humble enough to walk willingly toward suffering for the sake of love.

This is the night God’s courage filled the darkness.

This is the Savior who walks beside you today.

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Your friend in Christ, Douglas Vandergraph

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s inspiring faith-based videos on YouTube

Support the ministry by buying Douglas a coffee

#faith #Jesus #GospelOfJohn #John18 #ChristianLiving #encouragement #hope #spiritualgrowth

The moon is shining down its energies on me. It’s the only celestial body visible on the dark blue almost black sky, but tonight this is just what I need.

The radiance of silver

I have been struggling with some uncomfortable realisations which are settling in. It hurts like hell, like there’s a broken bone which didn’t heal right in me, which now ruthlessly had to be re-broken in order to heal straight.

No wonder then, that I am at the brink of tears whenever this broken bone tries to support my weight.

But it will heal back stronger now.

Do you know the way some kickboxers kick against bamboo trees to strengthen their chins.

It’s like that almost.

The cool warmth of the moon on the blue almost black sky I have as a fixture in my head.

I use it to navigate this world which I didn’t know as well as I thought.

It’s never too late for a lesson on humility it seems.

GO HOOSIERS!

Today brings me two IU games to cheer for. First up was the Indiana Women's Basketball Team facing off against the Gonzaga Bulldogs in an early afternoon game as part of the GEICO Coconut Hoops Tournament. Indiana won this tightly contested game by a score of 76 to 72.

My second game will feature the IU Hoosiers Football team vs the Purdue Boilermakers tonight in a classic rivalry, The Old Oaken Bucket Game being played this year on Purdue's home field in West Lafayette.

And the adventure continues.

The Prayer That Holds Eternity: Discovering the Depth of John 17

There are chapters in Scripture that teach, chapters that correct, chapters that reveal miracles, chapters that confront the heart, and chapters that shine with prophetic power. But then there are chapters that feel like stepping barefoot onto holy ground. John 17 is one of those chapters—unique, sacred, untouched by anything else in the Gospels.

This is not a parable. This is not a sermon. This is not a confrontation with religious leaders. This is not a miracle meant to strengthen faith.

John 17 is a prayer spoken in the night. A prayer spoken in the shadow of the cross. A prayer spoken in the stillness before everything breaks open. A prayer spoken by Jesus directly to the Father, with no crowds, no interruptions, and no distractions.

If the Gospel of John is a diamond, then chapter 17 is its glowing center. This is the heart of the Gospel laid bare. This is Jesus revealing what matters most to Him, what weighs deepest on His spirit, and what He longs for—for Himself, for His disciples, and for everyone who would ever believe in His name.

And when you read it slowly, you begin to understand something that changes everything: this is the moment where Jesus prayed for you.

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“Father, the hour has come…”

The prayer begins with a line that rings across eternity: “Father, the hour has come.” Throughout the book of John, Jesus has spoken about His “hour,” the moment when His mission would reach its fulfillment. For years, the hour had not yet arrived. But now, as Jesus stands on the doorstep of betrayal, suffering, and crucifixion, He declares that the hour is here.

This moment is monumental—not because Jesus is about to be defeated, but because He is about to be victorious. His hour is not tragedy—it is triumph. It is the hour of redemption. The hour when heaven will open the gates of grace to the world. The hour when salvation will be purchased with blood.

And instead of praying for rescue, Jesus prays for glory.

He says, “Glorify Your Son, that Your Son may glorify You.” Jesus is not seeking recognition. He is seeking fulfillment. He is seeking the revelation of God’s love through the suffering He is about to endure. He is showing us what true surrender looks like: not the avoidance of pain, but the willingness to let God reveal His purpose through it.

Jesus prays with a clarity that cuts through fear and darkness. His mind is not fixed on the cross—but on the meaning of the cross. Not the agony—but the victory. Not the nails—but the redemption those nails will secure.

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Jesus Prays for Himself: A Heart Anchored in Purpose

When Jesus prays for Himself, His prayer is not self-centered—it is mission-centered. He says, “I have brought You glory on earth by finishing the work You gave Me to do.” This is the purest expression of completion, the declaration of a life poured out exactly as the Father intended.

Jesus lived every day on purpose. Every step was intentional. Every word carried divine weight. Every act of compassion revealed the Father’s heart.

And now, with the cross standing directly in front of Him, He prays to be restored to the glory He shared with the Father before the world began. This is a powerful reminder that Jesus did not begin in Bethlehem—He entered the world in Bethlehem. Before creation existed, He existed in glory, unity, and love with the Father.

His prayer for Himself is not a cry for help—it is a declaration of destiny.

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Jesus Prays for His Disciples: Love Covering Their Future

After praying for Himself, Jesus turns His heart toward His disciples—the ones who walked with Him, learned from Him, trusted Him, and still didn’t fully grasp what was about to unfold. Jesus knows their hearts are fragile. He knows fear will try to overwhelm them. He knows pressure is coming. He knows persecution is coming. And so He prays with a depth of tenderness that cannot be overstated.

Jesus prays for four things for His disciples—four things He knows they will desperately need.

He prays for protection. “Holy Father, protect them by the power of Your name.”

Jesus does not pray that the disciples will avoid trials. He prays that they will survive them. He prays that their faith will hold firm. He prays that evil will not destroy them.

Protection from Jesus’ perspective is not protection from hardship—it is protection from falling away.

He prays for unity. “Make them one as We are one.”

Unity is one of the supernatural signatures of the church. When believers love each other the way Jesus loves them, the world sees the nature of God reflected in their relationships. Unity is not uniformity—it is harmony. It is the shared love that binds the hearts of believers in Christ.

He prays for joy. “I say these things so that they may have the full measure of My joy within them.”

This joy does not depend on circumstances. It is the deep, unshakeable joy of belonging to God, even in the middle of storms. Jesus wants His disciples to carry His joy—a joy that cannot be extinguished by fear or persecution.

He prays for sanctification. “Sanctify them by the truth; Your word is truth.”

Sanctification is the slow, beautiful work of the Holy Spirit shaping believers into the likeness of Christ. Jesus prays that His disciples will not simply believe the truth, but be transformed by it.

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Jesus Prays for All Future Believers: The Prayer That Crosses Time

Then comes the moment that makes John 17 astonishingly personal. Jesus says, “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in Me through their message.”

This is the moment the prayer stretches across time itself. This is the moment the prayer enters the future. This is the moment Jesus prayed for you.

He saw your life. He saw your struggles. He saw your victories. He saw the days when your faith would be strong—and the days when it wouldn’t. He saw the world you would live in. He saw the culture you would face.

And He prayed for you.

He prays three powerful things over every future believer:

He prays for unity. “May they all be one.” Jesus wants His followers across every nation, culture, and generation to be united in love, truth, and purpose.

He prays that we will reflect His glory. “The glory You gave Me, I have given them.” We reflect His glory when His character is seen in our lives. The world does not need perfect people—it needs people who carry the love of Christ wherever they go.

He prays that we will be with Him forever. “Father, I want those You have given Me to be with Me where I am.”

Jesus does not simply want us near Him temporarily—He wants us near Him eternally. Heaven is not a reward—it is a relationship fulfilled.

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What This Chapter Reveals About Jesus

John 17 opens a window into the very heart of Jesus.

It reveals:

His love is personal. His mission is intentional. His desire for His followers is unity. His heart aches for believers to be transformed. His dream is for us to be with Him forever.

John 17 is the spiritual blueprint of the church. It reveals the kind of community Jesus envisioned—a people united in love, anchored in truth, filled with joy, protected by the Father, and shaped by holiness.

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What John 17 Means for Your Life Today

John 17 is not ancient history—it is living truth.

It means you were seen before you were born. You were chosen before you believed. You were loved before you knew His name. You are protected even when you feel vulnerable. You are shaped by truth even in seasons of confusion. You are part of a global family of believers. You are desired by Jesus Himself.

You live inside the prayer of Jesus.

When He prayed this prayer, He carried you into the presence of the Father. And that truth changes how you see yourself. It changes how you see the world. It changes how you see the purpose of your life.

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Final Reflection: You Are Held Inside the Prayer of the Savior

This prayer was spoken in a quiet moment before the storm of the cross. And yet, Jesus did not pray for an easier path. He did not pray for escape. He prayed for glory, for His disciples, and for future believers—including you.

This means your life is not a coincidence. Your faith is not accidental. Your belonging to Christ is not fragile.

You are held by the prayer He prayed. You are covered by the love He poured out. You are wanted by the One who died for you.

John 17 is not just the prayer of Jesus— it is the prayer that holds eternity.

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Your friend in Christ, Douglas Vandergraph

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s inspiring faith-based videos on YouTube

Support the ministry by buying Douglas a coffee

#faith #Jesus #BibleStudy #GospelOfJohn #ChristianEncouragement #SpiritualGrowth

During yesterday’s Thanksgiving Parade broadcast, nearly every commercial break featured a Facebook ad. It was a good one about real-life human connection supported online through the Facebook friends network. It’s a long shot, but wouldn’t it be great if Facebook cut the nonsense and returned to its roots as a social network? A place where you can stay connected with friends and family around the world. In the late 2000s, you could meet someone, become friends on Facebook, and stay loosely in touch. “Are you on Facebook,” was a less intrusive question than “What is your phone number?” Today, of course, many people avoid visiting Facebook altogether because of the endless stream of useless information they never signed up for.

There are chapters in Scripture that teach. There are chapters that comfort. There are chapters that challenge. And then there are chapters that prepare your heart in ways you may not realize you need.

John chapter 16 is one of those chapters.

This moment takes place on the final night before Jesus is arrested. The disciples sit with Him unaware of what is about to unfold. They know something is changing, but they cannot put language to it. They sense weight, but not the crucifixion. They feel sorrow rising, but cannot imagine the separation. Jesus, however, knows everything that is coming — and He begins to prepare their hearts for what will soon test their faith, their courage, and their understanding.

John 16 is not simply a record of Jesus’ teaching. It is a window into His heart for His followers. It is the compassion of Christ revealed through preparation. It is the love of God poured out through truth, clarity, and reassurance. And the same words that strengthened His disciples then continue strengthening every believer who reads them today.

This expanded legacy study will walk through every major theme in John chapter 16, double-spaced, deeply detailed, spiritually grounded, and written fully in your natural voice.

Jesus begins the chapter with intention. He says He is telling them these things “so you will not fall away.” The phrase does not refer to losing salvation. It refers to losing stability — to being shaken, confused, or spiritually overwhelmed when pressure comes. Jesus wants them to stand, and standing begins with preparation.

There is a pattern in Scripture: God strengthens His people before the trial arrives. He does not wait until the storm hits. He speaks beforehand. He prepares their foundation before the waves rise. This is the first major lesson of John 16 — God does not only comfort after; He prepares before.

Jesus then speaks about the persecution they will face. He explains that those who harm them will believe that they are serving God. This is exactly what happens in the book of Acts. Saul of Tarsus fiercely persecutes Christians, believing he is protecting the faith. Jesus identifies the root cause: “They do not know the Father or Me.”

This is an important truth for believers today. Hostility toward faith is often rooted in spiritual blindness, not personal attack. People can be religious without knowing God. They can defend tradition while rejecting truth. They can act in zeal while lacking understanding. Jesus tells His disciples to expect opposition, but not to internalize it as rejection from God.

As Jesus continues, sorrow begins to fill the disciples’ hearts. Jesus acknowledges it. He does not rebuke them for feeling emotional. Their sorrow is natural. They have followed Him closely, relied on Him deeply, and built their lives around His presence. His departure feels like losing the foundation of their identity.

But Jesus prepares them gently. He tells them something they would not have believed unless He said it directly: “It is good for you that I go away.” What could possibly make His departure good? Jesus answers — the Holy Spirit.

The disciples walked beside Jesus. The Spirit would dwell within them. Jesus ministered in one place at a time. The Spirit would be with every believer everywhere. Jesus taught them from the outside. The Spirit would transform them from the inside.

This is not loss. It is advancement.

Sometimes God removes what is familiar to give you what is eternal. Sometimes He shifts what you depend on so He can deepen your dependence on Him. The arrival of the Spirit would bring a new dimension of intimacy, clarity, and empowerment that could not happen as long as Jesus remained physically present.

Jesus then explains the work of the Holy Spirit. He reveals that the Spirit will convict the world of sin, righteousness, and judgment. Conviction is not condemnation. Condemnation pushes you away from God; conviction draws you toward Him.

The Spirit reveals sin by showing the truth about unbelief in Christ. He reveals righteousness by pointing to Jesus’ return to the Father as the perfect standard. He reveals judgment by exposing the fact that Satan has already been condemned. This is a reminder that believers never carry the weight of spiritual transformation alone. The Spirit is always working long before you speak.

Then Jesus says something profound: “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear.” This is the mercy of divine timing. God does not reveal everything at once. He unfolds truth according to your spiritual and emotional capacity. He does not overwhelm your heart. He teaches in seasons, at the pace of maturity.

This means you can rest in your process. You do not need to understand everything today. God reveals what you need when you are ready to receive it.

Jesus continues by promising that the Spirit of Truth will guide them into all truth. The Spirit does not act independently but communicates what He receives from the Father. He will reveal what is to come. He will glorify Jesus. This promise ensures believers are never without direction. You are led. You are guided. You are taught. You are strengthened.

You do not navigate your calling alone. The Spirit brings clarity to confusion, wisdom to uncertainty, and understanding to the places where you feel overwhelmed.

Jesus then introduces a mysterious phrase: “In a little while you will not see Me, and then after a little while you will see Me.” The disciples begin questioning what He means. They do not understand the timeline of His death and resurrection. But Jesus speaks about a pattern that applies to every believer — seasons of sorrow followed by seasons of joy.

There is a time when God feels distant. Then a time when He feels near. A time when you cannot see what He is doing. Then a time when everything becomes clear. A time of waiting. Then a time of breakthrough. A time of discouragement. Then a time of restoration.

The phrase “a little while” reminds you that no season lasts forever. No sorrow is permanent. No confusion is eternal. God always turns the page.

Jesus explains that their sorrow will turn into joy, using the example of childbirth. Pain is real. Pain is overwhelming. Pain feels like it will never end. But the moment the child is born, the pain is swallowed by joy. Jesus teaches that sorrow is not replaced by joy — it is transformed into joy.

This means suffering is not wasted. God uses it to shape character, deepen faith, grow compassion, and produce spiritual strength. God does not leave sorrow unredeemed. He uses it to create something new.

Then Jesus gives one of the most powerful promises in Scripture: “No one will take your joy from you.” The joy He gives is rooted in His victory, His presence, His truth, and His resurrection. It does not come from circumstances, so circumstances cannot destroy it. It does not come from people, so people cannot steal it. It does not come from the world, so the world cannot touch it.

Joy anchored in Christ is unshakable.

Next, Jesus teaches the disciples a new dimension of prayer. They will pray directly to the Father in His name. This is not a formula. It is relational access. To pray in Jesus’ name means approaching the Father through the relationship Jesus secured. Jesus says, “The Father Himself loves you.” Prayer is personal. It is intimate. It is grounded in the affection of God.

The disciples respond by saying that they finally understand. Their faith takes a step forward. But Jesus knows their understanding, though genuine, is fragile. Soon fear will challenge everything they claim to believe. Their confidence must meet pressure. Their revelation must meet reality.

So Jesus prepares them gently.

He tells them plainly that they will scatter. They will flee. They will leave Him alone. He is not surprised. He is not disappointed. He is not bitter. He simply states the truth — and then reveals His anchor: “I am not alone, for the Father is with Me.”

Jesus’ confidence is rooted in His relationship with the Father, not in the loyalty of people. His stability comes from divine presence, not human support. And He offers the same anchor to His followers.

Jesus ends the chapter with one final declaration, one that has shaped believers for centuries: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

This statement is both honest and hopeful.

Jesus tells the truth — trouble is real. And then He gives the promise — victory is greater. He does not ask you to take heart because the world is easy. He asks you to take heart because He has already overcome.

Your courage does not come from your circumstances. Your courage comes from His triumph.

This is the truth that carried the disciples through the darkest hours of their lives. This is the truth that carries every believer today.

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Our Father Who art in heaven Hallowed be Thy name Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily Bread And forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil

Amen

Jesus is Lord! Come Lord Jesus!

Come Lord Jesus! Christ is Lord!

Zelenskyy (pt. 2)

Son of Easter, It is ringing to you A frozen island blessing your grip Of course there were dozens, But this name is yours- And has been, In Jesus Christ And you are competent and ablaze For the fortieth dimension Which is one man an hour, taking the pride of entirety And building Senates and courthouses, and appointments.. I am aground, And look to see you again Where cut off from my cue, The turnstile of war There are blessings- That are rivers But they pale in time With water so precious, A piece of the pie The Dnipro is yours, in weary amounts.

For other people, in Christ, Unabandoning war- There are moments of affliction that cannot be known And in this war, of the interlocutors, One more intruant Cares not for Ukraine The man of maga- satan’s power And nine in the heart With metals and bones Thinking of putin Treachering you I know this reach to Greenland It studies my wellness In two states of flow, Your water and ice To baptize and heal In Christ, [Amen] To Ukraine!

Sat-29-DK 🇩🇰

First day of the night A solar affair and a broken few Six windows to the heart and green months Anxiety in the room and money away For the bigger steer reflective Not enough to pay the amounts, Money to make in the Rose Garden Look at this empty court- and see the room Wooden furniture, lights aplenty Ron is in season Wear black- I have friends in Nova Scotia And freedom from the State Sun Republic Sure Shine Let’s make sounds and grieve the ancestor It’s a quadric, stolen heart Time is for aging We’ll be well together And six things downwind A labour at large, Forbidden Union Look up, The sky shines blue and I can’t afford to run You are popular in ideas of the mind Celebrate this day, It is Christianity coming- And a lock on the door.

Att komma till Parga känns lite som att kliva in i en fickversion av det grekiska drömlandskapet, där vardagsljud dämpas av havets rytm och kullerstensgränder drar dig med på långsamma kvällspromenader. Mitt i allt det som redan är vackert finns dessutom små pärlor som ligger och väntar på den som letar lite vid sidan av de självklara valen.

När man lämnar den livliga strandpromenaden bakom sig och följer vägen västerut öppnar landskapet upp sig mot de mjuka kurvorna som leder till Sarakiniko Beach. Det är en sådan plats där tiden verkar bromsa in och havet får en helt annan färg än i stan. Vattnet ligger nästan spegelblankt vissa dagar, och ljudet av småsten som rullar i strandkanten är ett slags lågmält soundtrack som gör det svårt att inte stanna längre än man tänkt. En bit närmare Parga, gömd mellan klippor och grönska, ligger lilla Piso Krioneri. Den är så nära centrum att det känns som att man knappt förtjänar lugnet den bjuder på, men just därför blir kontrasten så speciell. Hit går man när man vill bada utan att lämna byn, men ändå känna att man har hittat något eget.

Skulle du längta efter en stranddag med mer liv men fortfarande med den där breda, sköna känslan snarare än trängsel, så ligger Valtos Beach som en lång halvmåne nedanför det venetianska fortet. Det är ett ställe som är populärt, absolut, men så stort att det alltid går att hitta sin egen vrå. Ljudet av vindsurfare som fångar vinden och små strandbarer som öppnar upp för långa, soliga pauser gör stranden charmig på sitt sätt.

När solen börjar sjunka och det är dags att äta dyker ännu fler smultronställen upp. Uppe på sluttningen ovanför Valtos ligger Andreas Taverna, ett ställe som känns mer som att kliva in i någons hem än en restaurang. Doften av långlagat lamm och grillad citron blandas med utsikten över bukten och fortet som tänds upp när mörkret faller. Det är matlagning som inte försöker vara något annat än den är, och just därför blir den speciell. Nere vid vattnet väntar sedan Baros, en av de där hamnkrogarna som lyckas behålla sin personlighet trots sitt perfekta läge. Den vinröda byggnaden lyser upp mot hamnens speglande vatten, och stämningen är lika mycket en del av upplevelsen som maten.

Det fina med Parga är att boendet vävs in i vardagen på ett sätt som gör att du aldrig riktigt känner dig avskild från byn. Många små, familjedrivna hotell – från enkla pensionat till eleganta boutiquealternativ – ligger utspridda längs backarna och gränderna. Du vaknar ofta till ljudet av mopeder som puttrar förbi, kyrkklockor som slår eller ett tyst sus från trädgårdar där citronträden fortfarande bär frukt. Ett sådant boende blir mindre ett “hotell” och mer en del av själva platsen, något som gör Parga ovanligt lätt att förälska sig i.

För den som vill lämna havet för en stund finns underverk inne i landet. Acheron River är ett av de mest magiska utflyktsmålen, en flod som känns nästan mytisk i sin stillhet. Vattnet är kallt, klart och smaragdgrönt och kantas av tät grönska. Att vandra längs eller i floden ger en helt annan sorts energi än en dag på stranden, lite som att världen växlar till en svalare tonart för ett ögonblick.

Och tillbaka i Parga kan du låta benen föra dig uppför gränderna bakom hamnen. Ju högre du kommer, desto mer breder utsikten ut sig – pastellfärgade hus med terrakottatak, små balkonger med tvätt som fladdrar i vinden, olivträdens silvergröna blad som rör sig mjukt under eftermiddagssolen. Det är sådana promenader som får en att sakta ner och bara gå vidare för att se vad som gömmer sig runt nästa hörn.

Om du letar efter tavernor som verkligen sätter stämningen i Parga så finns det tre sorters upplevelser som nästan alltid fastnar i minnet: de med utsikten som tar andan ur dig, de där du sitter så nära havet att vågorna viskar under bordet och de där du kliver rakt in i en familjs vardagsrum.

För den första sorten är det svårt att slå Andreas Taverna. Den ligger uppe i sluttningen ovanför Valtos, som om någon placerat den där bara för att du ska få se solen gå ner över hela bukten. Terrassen är lite som en balkong ut mot havet och kvällsljuset spiller över borden på ett sätt som gör varje enkel rätt att kännas som något större. Här uppe tystnar allt annat runtomkring och du får en av de där klassiska Parga-stunderna när du bara sitter och stirrar ut över tak, vatten och himmel i mjuka färger. Det är romantiskt utan att försöka och genuint utan att bli ansträngt.

Vill du hellre sitta precis vid havet, nästan så att du kan doppa tårna i vattnet om du sträcker dig nog långt, då är Baros det perfekta alternativet. Den vinröda fasaden står som en liten fyr i hamnen och borden ute vid kajen ligger så nära vattnet att båtarna glider förbi bara några meter bort. Det är en plats där kvällarna känns oändliga, där sorlet från strandpromenaden blandas med kluckandet från havet och där maten smakar lite bättre just för att du hör havets rytm genom hela måltiden. Det är avslappnat men ändå elegant, ett sådant ställe där man alltid sitter kvar längre än man tänkt.

Och så finns det de där tavernorna som inte behöver utsikt eller hav för att vara magiska, eftersom stämningen bär allt. Sakis är en sådan plats. Bord på trottoaren, blå detaljer, familjen i köket och den där känslan av att allt är på riktigt. Det är här du får rätter som smakar hemlagat, serverade med små skratt, lite improvisation och ett glas ouzo som någon ställer fram “för att det är trevligt”. Det är en kväll som känns mer som att du blivit hembjuden än att du sitter på restaurang, och det är just det som gör den så speciell.

There are moments in life when everything grows loud — responsibilities, expectations, worries, pressures, noise — and then there are moments when everything grows painfully quiet.

It’s in those quiet spaces that your heart starts whispering questions you’ve held inside for years:

Does anyone see me? Does anyone care? Do I matter? Am I loved?

If you’ve ever asked those questions, this message is for you.

Today, I’m writing directly to the part of you that carries burdens silently. The part of you that smiles while hurting. The part of you that pushes forward even while exhausted. The part of you that supports everyone but rarely feels supported. The part of you that aches to hear words your life didn’t give you enough of.

This article is a letter for your soul — and every word comes from a place of compassion, truth, and love.

If nobody else has said it to you in a long time… If nobody has said it without conditions… If nobody has said it with sincerity… If nobody has said it with tenderness…

Let me say it now:

I love you. And God loves you even more.

THE HEART THAT LONGS TO BE LOVED

You can be strong and still feel lonely. You can be successful and still feel unseen. You can be surrounded by people and still feel empty. You can be admired and still wonder if anyone truly knows you.

Everyone — no matter how confident they appear — carries a longing to be deeply loved.

Not loved for what they produce. Not loved for what they achieve. Not loved for who they pretend to be. Not loved only when they’re strong. Not loved with conditions or expectations.

But loved simply because of who they are.

This longing is not weakness. It is design.

You were created by Love itself. You were born with the imprint of God’s heart on yours. Your soul was crafted to receive what only His love can give.

The world may call this “neediness.” God calls it humanity.

THE WOUNDS THAT MAKE LOVE FEEL DANGEROUS

Many people struggle with receiving love because love hasn’t always been gentle.

Some people associate “I love you” with:

Abandonment Manipulation Emotional neglect Broken promises Conditional affection Childhood trauma Unstable relationships Untrustworthy people Pain disguised as love

So when someone expresses love, instead of feeling safe, they feel:

Tension Suspicion Fear Numbness Overthinking Anxiety Distance Resistance

If this is you, hear me:

You are not hard to love. You are not broken. Your heart learned to protect itself because it had to.

But God’s love does not resemble the love that hurt you. God’s love heals the wounds human love created.

THE PARTS OF YOUR LIFE GOD LEANS TOWARD, NOT AWAY FROM

There are parts of you people don’t see:

The guilt you carry quietly The thoughts you judge yourself for The memories that still sting The fears you haven’t told anyone The pressure that steals your sleep The regrets you can’t shake The sadness you hide under strength The insecurities you mask with humor The exhaustion behind your smile

And you might think:

“If people really knew this about me, they’d leave.”

But God sees every part of you — the hidden, the hurting, the healing, the unfinished — and He does not pull away.

He moves closer.

He sees the mess and loves you. He sees the confusion and loves you. He sees the mistakes and loves you. He sees the weakness and loves you. He sees the fear and loves you. He sees the doubt and loves you.

God loves the version of you you try hardest to hide.

WHEN YOUR HEART IS TIRED, LOVE HOLDS YOU TOGETHER

There are seasons when your soul is weary.

When you’re tired of being strong. When you’re tired of pretending. When you’re tired of handling everything alone. When you’re tired of encouraging everyone but receiving nothing in return. When you’re tired of being resilient. When you’re tired of the weight on your spirit.

And in those seasons, God does not demand more from you.

He doesn’t say “Try harder.” He doesn’t say “Be better.” He doesn’t say “Push through.” He doesn’t say “Fix yourself.”

He says:

“Rest in My love.”

Love becomes…

Your shelter Your oxygen Your strength Your calm Your clarity Your comfort Your courage Your hope

You are not standing because you never break. You are standing because God never lets you fall too far.

THE WHISPERS OF GOD'S LOVE IN EVERYDAY MOMENTS

Love doesn’t always shout. Often, it whispers.

God says “I love you” through:

A warm hug when you needed softness A friend who checks on you at the exact right moment A child who smiles at you A stranger’s kindness A memory that brings unexpected comfort A Scripture that hits your heart A song that feels written for you A prayer that gives you peace A moment of calm you can’t explain A sunrise that reminds you of new beginnings Strength that appears out of nowhere A feeling that says, “You’re going to be okay.”

These are not random.

These are reminders.

God has been speaking love into your life far more often than you realize.

YOU ARE WORTH LOVING — TRULY, FULLY, AND WITHOUT CONDITIONS

Some people carry the belief:

“I’m not enough.” “I’m too much.” “I’m hard to love.” “I don’t deserve good things.” “I don’t want to burden anyone.” “I mess everything up.”

But here is the truth:

You are loved not because you are perfect, but because you are priceless.

God doesn’t love you because you are easy. He loves you because you are His.

You are worth loving. You are worth forgiving. You are worth supporting. You are worth cherishing. You are worth healing. You are worth showing up for.

You are worth love — not later, not someday, not once you improve — but now.

IF YOU HAVEN’T HEARD “I LOVE YOU” IN A LONG TIME — HEAR IT NOW

I don’t know the battles you fight silently. I don’t know the nights you cried quietly. I don’t know the pressure you hide. I don’t know who hurt you, who left you, or who failed you.

But I do know this:

You deserve to hear these words with sincerity, gentleness, and truth:

I love you. And God loves you with a relentless, unshakeable, never-ending love.

You are not alone. You are not forgotten. You are not invisible. You are not hopeless. You are not beyond healing.

You matter. Your story matters. Your heart matters. Your life matters.

And God’s love is going to carry you into the next chapter — a chapter filled with peace, restoration, and renewal.

Let this truth settle deep into your spirit. Let it wash over the parts of your life that still hurt. Let it breathe life into the places that feel empty. Let it remind you who you are and whose you are.

You are loved more than you know, and more than you’ve ever been told.

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Douglas Vandergraph

#faith #Christian #love #encouragement #healing #inspiration #Jesus #Godslove #DouglasVandergraph

Live Aid shoulders and a poet's bones.

Belief is a strange power — unmatched, really — especially when someone places it on you.

I’m sitting in the dark of my little studio. Jethro Tull’s Benefit is humming and the rain is splattering outside my open window. The sun has just dipped under the clouds and splashed a cool white through the rain and into the room.

I recently received a gift and the weight of it is resonating with me this evening. I am simply mesmerized with the thoughtfulness and depth of knowledge the giver showed. How can someone know so intimately, the architecture of my heart?

Some people don’t like surprises. They want to know how the book ends. Not this wolf. This creature loves the antici—pation of what may be. The power of imagination to build whole worlds is a drug and sometimes—more.

Pandora’s Reveal

When the box arrives, it is an unassuming affair. My first read is it as repurposed and imperfectly folded as if it was made smaller for this journey. This has its own appeal to someone who loves finding new ways to use old things.

On all sides have been applied Ducks Unlimited brand stickers. On the top, a large shipping label declaring the cost to send this is $13.10. An amazing price considering several strangers just moved this box hand-to-hand from one door to mine.

The highlight is a small, charming cartoon star with a smiley face.

As soon as it arrives, I want to rip it open and finish the anticipation. But, I decide instead to let it lie fallow for a few hours, savoring the possibility. Until I break the seal, it’s Schrödinger’s gift: pure potential. Closed, it could be anything—everything I ever wanted.

Thank You?

When I finally decide it's time to open the mystery, I cut the tape carefully and peel back each flap to find crinkled craft paper tucked inside. An excellent choice. Particularly if you are a child hungry for media upon which to draw.

My imagination is going crazy. What could this be? A book from the lost library of Alexandria? A custom-cut record of the giver's favorite songs? Sketchbooks? Art? OMG, I’m wild with thrill.

I’m giddy with excitement. Gifts are rare, and this one in particular is very special to me.

As I peel back the paper, I take a deep breath and find... two bundles of fabric. One blue, one white.

Two neatly rolled shirts.

Shirts. Is that all? Fabric with which to cover our naked bodies?

I didn’t know what was in the box—it could have been anything and everything. I LAUGH out loud at my ludicrous fantasies of what the box held. How ridiculous am I? As an artist, I was thinking: sketchbook, pens, clever art. I had even imagined a handwritten letter. So when I saw shirts, I laughed and thought, “what a nut—who gets an artist shirts?”

It was punctuated because I was SO extremely excited about the box. It was hand-decorated with an adorable little happy star and covered with all these terrific stickers. Stickers are a particular favorite of mine. When I travel, I like to peel them off walls and signposts and add them to my travel journals. They make wonderful little pieces of art.

Building an Ingrate

When I was a boy, holidays were less than an afterthought, they were completely ignored. Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving—even birthdays were off the table.

This was no loss for me as a child. My parents did a good job of making sure we received gifts and attention at least as regularly as those holidays provided.

Though my parents eschewed holidays, other relatives—usually grandparents—insisted on giving us gifts, particularly for Christmas. My parents’ random gifts through the year would be Tonka trucks, racing cars, spaceships, and dinosaurs. The holiday gifts insisted on by grandparents were—lackluster by comparison.

When they did press the gifts, what came was socks, sweaters, scarves—and shirts. From an adult point of view, they were probably very nice, but as a child—BORING.

I drove and laughed and laughed while proverbially scratching my head. There HAD to be more to it than two rolled shirts. A message? Maybe there was something in the shirts. I've seen fabric printed on the inside; maybe there was something inspirational printed there.

I was 9 years old again and expecting G.I. Joe, but getting a deer sweater.

A Second Reveal

Of course, I am a nice Wolf and nothing but absolute praise and thanks will do for the act of simply being thought of. If it had been a rock, or a clip of hair, or a vial of sand, I could not have been more pleased.

However, it was none of those things. And in fact, I very soon learn there was MORE to the gift than two garments. It is explained:

“The blue one is an Irish pub shirt. Be sure to roll up the sleeves and drink a Guinness in Kilkenny.”

In the near future, Wolf has plans to travel Europe, with Kilkenny on the itinerary. And he's especially fond of beer.

“At Live Aid, Sting wore a shirt like the white one. Every poet (and English major) needs one. Fabric is a dream.”

The giver is easily the most musically intelligent persona I know. So to have a connection made between my humble efforts and Sting on stage at Live Aid... just the concept is HUGE. It inflates me ego into the stratosphere to think someone would paint me in the same broad stroke as Andrew Sumner.

“Do not eat spaghetti or pizza while wearing it. Ever.”

This one elicits a guffaw from me. The garments are J Petermen... VERY shi-shi... and not to be treated with anything less than reverence. And as I LOVE white shirts, I know how easily they are ruined.

“Nothing says I love you like high-quality cotton.”

My heart is moved. Who doesn't want to feel loved and hear that they are? To symbolize it with such a quality and exclusive gift is very movine.

Reading the messages is like one of those montages in film where the protagonist sees all of the best moments of his life in the expanse of a single heartbeat.

Only it’s not my whole life—it is the life of lives in orbit. The stolen glances. A smile from the passenger seat while I drive. Her doing crosswords in the quiet. Laughing jovially after dinners with a big family. When people are in your life for many decades, there are thousands of small moments locked in our subconscious.

In the space of a heartbeat thousand moments suddenly congeal into one new sun in my heart. How can anyone think this deeply about me? An obscure artist living in the middle of nowhere?

The giver is a giant—and has seen me and identified a want I didn’t even know I had. I suddenly feel so special. So incredibly important, that it moves me to tears.

Thank you feels incredibly insufficient in exchange for this thoughtfulness.

My eyes are watering a little thinking about how I didn't receive shirts...
I was dressed the man I was seen as—
the poet, the performer.

The person I like to imagine I might be— and I was made real with these scenes: rolled sleeves and beer in Ireland— or the star on stage at a stadium, not for praise or accolades, but to be wrapped in cotton of love and move hearts and minds for good.

I was so excited at the box itself with the handcrafting— I had no idea that when I opened it, what would come out was not fabric and craft but a vision.

What came out was belief and love. What came out has undone me a little. Melted me.

And then it had me floating.

I don’t care that this state won’t last. That in a few hours I’ll be back on earth doing the things I need to do.

In the moment, I was transcendent. And that’s a moment I can always carry with me. The memory of wonder is a powerful drug.

As the French say, Tu es incroyable.

Love always,
Wolf

the dead leaves sway very slightly on their strings above the radiator

Last week, I forgot to set any goals for this week. That meant that everything I got done this week was a huge success. 😹 Most of what I did this week is the kind of stuff that doesn't make me feel like a writer, though. I did a lot of promo work, trying to make the best of the holiday week for those of us in the U.S.

Smashwords (the vendor I use to get my books out to the places I don't have accounts with) has an upcoming deadline for anything that needs to be done / ready in time for the Christmas season. That means if I want to get book 2 published in time for the holidays, I need to prioritize finishing book two and getting the audio recorded.

Since I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing for book 3 yet, book 2 might not have the “next time on” section like Death In Transit has. I'm not so committed to the bit that I would delay the release of book 2 for that.

Next week's goals

1. Design a cover for Book 2
2. Finish missing scenes
3. Major edits
4. First pass audio recording

If I get any proper writing in, great. As long as I get those bits in too!

#ProgressUpdate