I dreamt of torrential rain in the twilight of evening, and I was standing outside very willingly drenched. The air felt thick and warm, therefore being soaking wet felt like a non issue. When was the last time anyone simply stood in the rain and felt it envelope their entire being? Are we so opposed to feeling primal in nature? I am sure there is an evolutionary explanation for this, so I shall continue. As I stood there I felt deep within my body a rumble I did not realize was thunder until a flash of light caught the corner of my eye. The vibration stayed with me until it settled into my heart. I became frightened then, worried I may have been struck by lightning and this was all a damp in-between state of consciousness (which it very well was as it is a dream to begin with), so I calmly walked inside my home that did not look like my home, but it must have been because my loved ones were looking at me with concern. I closed the door behind me and looked through the window to a scene I was not expecting. Off in the distance, three violent swirling pillars of gray carrying with them dust and debris were dancing around one another. My body suddenly felt cold. I glanced down at my hands that now felt stiff and numb. I raised them in front of me, level with my eyes to get a better look as I could not believe it. The tips of my fingers were purple almost to the point of total blackness. I had not realized how long I was standing outside in the rain, nor how piercingly cold it turned in an instant. When I was outside life seemed so peaceful and soft. I wanted to go back, but the danger was too real for me to risk changing things back to how they were. Here is where the dream becomes too hazy to remember. I only remember feeling dread and thinking to myself how quickly things could change from serene to apocalyptic. When I finally woke I was confused to see a bright day shining through my bedroom window, the azure sky radiant without a single cloud obscuring it. No rain had come here, clearly. No tornados. My confusion turned to relief, yet there was a minuscule fear creeping into my mind that perhaps the dream was a premonition. How could my dream and waking life be so intensely dichotomized if not to show me something?

This week, a conversation with a client inspired my latest spiral of thinking. A lot of people I work with, and a lot of people I know in general, have a deep belief that they are not “deserving” of positive things in life, like joy, safety, relationship security, and so on. I’ve felt this way myself plenty of times. What does it mean, though, to deserve something, especially something that is positive and helpful? Can we deserve the bad things that happen to us? Who is it, exactly, that’s dishing out these rewards and punishments, anyway? I’m not sure these questions are even meaningful in the first place. But let’s chase this rabbit. 

Ok, here goes a most trite cliche: the dictionary (Merriam-Webster, in this case) defines deserve  as “to be worthy of; merit; to be worthy, fit, or suitable for some reward or requital.” Given that, who then deserves to be happy or safe or loved? And who doesn’t? Who deserves a small rock to always be in their shoe and to never be able to find the cool side of the pillow? Now, I’m certainly not the first person to ever consider these sorts of ideas, and finer philosophers and theologians than me have thought about reward and punishment for centuries. I’d like to skip the theology altogether, and honestly I doubt what I’m writing rises to the level of philosophy as such. But here it is: how does the average rando understand sweeping ideas like the deserving of goodness or ill, reward and punishment? 

My instinct here is that human beings deserve a certain level of happiness or contentedness simply for the fact that we are human. I don’t mean that everything in life will be perfect or that there will be no suffering because that’s simply not reality. And after all, some adversity can push us to do more, learn more, reach a different level. I think everyone deserves to have moments of enjoyment, creativity, and safety, as much as is possible. Yes, even that guy. And her. And them. I don’t think there is anyone inherently unworthy of positive experiences, though I often sit with people who feel this way about themselves. 

Less often do I sit with people who feel that there are others who don’t deserve positivity. However, there is certainly a lot of discussion about this in our broader culture. From all sides, there are people blathering about why this certain individual or group of folks are The Problem. And being The Problem, these people deserve any awful thing that comes their way. It’s a bit simplistic, and it brings up simplistic solutions. If The Problem is eliminated, we will all be happy again. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work this way. I also wonder if The Problem gets to experience contentedness, perhaps they will be less, well, problematic. 

Who deals out all this contentedness and suffering, anyway? God? Great. (I said I was going to veer away from theology. This was a lie.) Humans can also reward and punish other humans, and this can happen intentionally or not. Is there some other mechanism at play? Maybe karma, which doesn’t work the way most Western people think it does, but it provides a mechanism for determining who deserves what. All of these ideas about cosmological reward and punishment assume that if we all just behave ourselves, good things will happen, but everyone I know has pondered why bad things happen to good people. I also frequently ask the opposite: why do good things happen to bad people? There is no simple formula for this. 

I’m therefore back to my original premise, which is that everyone deserves and should be able to experience joy, safety, love, simply because they are human. No behavioral requirements, no gifts from the universe or a deity. No need to earn good experiences. There are other reasons to be a good person and act the right way, but the idea that you might be rewarded with the feeling of joy or peace shouldn’t be one of them. It’s enough to be human. Being human is hard enough, anyway, so why not embrace the idea that all of us should have a baseline of security and at least some measure of happiness? 

Can we want this for ourselves and for others, even for the people we really can’t stand? What makes any individual happy will vary, of course. Still, what would it be like to start from the assumption that people can seek the things that bring them joy, and that that can be the foundation of life rather than its end goal? I’m not even sure that I allow myself to feel deserving of happiness. I wonder if I can embrace the idea of happiness as a baseline. I wonder what might be different in my life if I did.

Modeling the Standalone Value of Plug-In Solar in Northern Virginia

When Virginia passed House Bill 395, allowing plug-in solar systems up to 1,200 W starting January 1, 2027, it created a distinct class of distributed generation. Unlike traditional rooftop net-metered arrays, plug-in solar operates under strict physical and regulatory guardrails: it connects directly to a standard household branch circuit, bypasses utility interconnection review, and is explicitly excluded from net metering.

In Virginia, plug-in solar is strictly “use-it-or-lose-it.” Any generation not consumed behind your electric meter at the exact instant of production flows back into the distribution grid without credit.

This raises an immediate practical question for Northern Virginia homeowners and renters: Does an unbuffered 1,200 W plug-in system deliver enough real-world bill reduction to justify its upfront cost?

To answer this, I modeled a year of generation using historical weather and insolation data from Bailey’s Crossroads, Virginia (August 1, 2025 – July 31, 2026), paired against my actual split-phase residential load data downloaded from Dominion Electric Virginia.

The Fallacy of the “Average Day”

Financial models for solar often rely on annual averages. Over the modeled 12-month period, Bailey’s Crossroads received 1,568.57 kWh/m² of total daily solar insolation, translating to a daily mean of 4.30 kWh/m².

Note: This is the maximum possible energy that could be captured by a system, however solar system efficiency results in only being able to capture about ~15-20% of the solar energy.

A daily average of 4.30 kWh/m² might suggest a steady, predictable stream of energy (kWh). The real distribution tells a different story.

Metric	Insolation (kWh/m²)
Maximum	8.58
95th Percentile	7.73
75th Percentile (Q3)	6.07
50th Percentile (Median)	4.09
25th Percentile (Q1)	2.64
5th Percentile	1.12
Minimum	0.30

(Note: Visualizing the daily swing from 0.30 to 8.58 kWh/m² makes it obvious why designing around a simple mean fails.)

Sunlight arrives in feast-or-famine cycles, driven by seasonal changes and weather impacts to useful daylight, as well as changes in ambient temperatures impacting the silicon photovoltaic panels efficiency converting the irradiance into usable electricity.

Three Days, Three Realities

To evaluate how a standard 1,200 W array (plugged into Leg 1 of a standard 120/240V split-phase service) performs against household demand, consider three specific days from the model.

1. The Winter Floor: January 10, 2026

Heavy cloud cover, short daylight window, low ambient temperature.

On heavily overcast winter days, available irradiance collapses. On January 10, the array produced just 0.357 kWh DC, resulting in 0.339 kWh AC delivered to the household after inverter conversion losses.

• Household Context: Total household demand was 22.13 kWh (11.07 kWh on Leg 1).
• Grid Export: 0.00 kWh (0%).
• Demand Offset: The system offset 3.1% of Leg 1 demand, or 1.5% of total household energy.

There is zero waste here—every watt generated is consumed instantly by baseline appliances—but the raw offset is negligible.

2. The Spring Surplus Paradox: March 28, 2026

High irradiance, cool air temperatures 50-60°F (10-16°C), low household load.

March 28 represents prime operating conditions: high insolation paired with cool ambient temperatures that keep panels operating near peak electrical efficiency. The 1,200 W system produced 8.956 kWh AC, losing only 0.037 kWh to inverter clipping.

• Household Context: Mild weather meant no heating or cooling; total household consumption was just 10.05 kWh (5.03 kWh on Leg 1).
• Demand Offset: The array provided 2.704 kWh toward Leg 1 demand, covering 53.8% of that circuit's daily energy.
• Grid Export: 6.252 kWh (69.8%) flowed backward out of the home.

Under HB 395, this 6.25 kWh export earned exactly $0.00. It served neighboring loads on the local transformer while providing zero financial return to the system owner.

3. The Midsummer Thermal Penalty: July 4, 2025

Clear skies, high peak sun, ambient high temperature of 103°F.

July 4 delivered strong insolation (7.47 kWh/m²), well above the annual average. Under Standard Test Conditions (77°F / 25°C), a 1,200 W array would run near capacity for several hours. Instead, the system generated 6.699 kWh AC.

Why didn't generation peak at 1,200 W? Thermal derating.

Photovoltaic silicon exhibits a negative temperature coefficient of maximum power, typically degrading output by -0.35% to -0.45% per degree Celsius above 25°C. On a 103°F / 39.4°C summer afternoon, roof-level or balcony panel cell temperatures would routinely surpass 65°C (149°F), shedding 15% to 20% of rated nameplate capacity.

• Household Context: Air conditioning and continuous charging of the EV drove total household demand to 64.03 kWh (32.02 kWh on Leg 1).
• Grid Export: 0.00 kWh (0%).
• Demand Offset: The system covered 20.9% of Leg 1 demand (10.5% of total household demand).

EV charging was 1,440 W continuous throughout the day until after sunset, meaning that every kilowatt-hour generated by the 1,200 W array was consumed behind the meter. Note: EV charging is really only on one household leg but for this analysis it was split evenly between the two legs.

The Annual Economics: Does Standalone Plug-In Solar Pay Off?

A single day in March might make plug-in solar look inefficient, but energy economics depend on the entire 365-day balance sheet.

When modeling the full year against actual 30-minute interval smart meter data:

• Total Annual AC Generation (1,200 W system): 1,958 kWh
• Direct Self-Consumed Energy: 1,015 kWh (51.5%)
• Uncredited Grid Export: 943 kWh (48.20%)

Payback Calculation

In Northern Virginia, Dominion Energy’s residential Schedule 1 all-in rate sits at roughly $0.172 per kWh (including base generation, distribution, and fuel adjustments).

1. Annual Retail Savings: 1,015 kWh * $0.172 / kWh = $174.58

2. Capital Expenditure (CapEx): A quality, compliant UL 3700-certified 1,200 W balcony kit (three ~400 W panels, integrated microinverter, mounting hardware, and outdoor-rated disconnect cord) retails for roughly $1,000.

3. Simple Payback Period: $1,000 (system cost) / $174.58 (savings per year) = 5.73 years

Even without net metering credits and discarding more nearly 50% of production, the standalone 1,200 W system pays for itself well within the standard 20-to-25-year lifespan of standard solar hardware. For renters and homeowners alike, it serves as a viable, low-friction tool to reduce electric bills.

The total electricity consumption over the analytical period was 6,737 kWh. The 1,015 kWh self-consumed energy represents approximately 15% of total electricity used. If all of the generated electricity could have been self-consumed this would have represented approximately 29% of total energy usage, a not-insignificant increase in value.

The Unresolved Dilemma

While the baseline economics work, the data exposes an obvious structural inefficiency:

1. Summer and winter production are suppressed—winter by short, overcast days, and summer by thermal derating right when air conditioners demand peak power.

2. Spring production is heavily wasted, with roughly 70% of generation dumped back into the grid uncredited because midday baseloads on a single leg are too small to absorb it.

The standalone system works, but it leaves substantial energy on the table. In the next post, I examine what happens when you introduce behind-the-meter storage: Can a small, modular battery capture that 70% spring surplus and shift it into evening peak hours—and does the added hardware justify its cost?

Créditos

© 2026 Juanma Menéndez

Esta obra está licenciada bajo una Licencia Creative Commons Atribución 4.0 Internacional (CC BY 4.0).

Esto significa que puede ser compartida, copiada, adaptada y distribuida en cualquier medio o formato, incluso con fines comerciales, siempre que se dé el crédito adecuado al autor.

JOURNAL 27 septembre 2026

LE PACTE DES SŒURS

Aujourd'hui on s'est réunies à kabukichô, toutes les 8. C'était grave et un moment intense pourtant.

Nous avons conscience qu’à travers la disparition de #shieko et la volonté de nous cacher le plus de choses y compris même le corps de notre amie, c'est nous toutes qui sommes visées, comme m’a dit le frère de shieko, c’est notre faute avec nos idées de merde. Une vengeance ? Nous le pensons.

Mais nous avons décidé de nous unir définitivement comme une bande de yakuzas, exactement. Quand une sera atteinte les 7 autres seront là. Nous avons décidé après réflexion et d’un accord commun et volontaire (celle qui refuserait avait le droit de se retirer) et unanime que nous étions sœurs.

La disparition de shieko est notre fondement et c’est son esprit qui reste avec nous qui est le témoin de notre engagement, pour toujours. Seule elle pourrait nous relever de notre serment.

A. la cosaque venue de la lointaine Crimée Asu la reine de comédie Midori la douce Yôko la timide Izumi la rougissante Hayame aux larges épaules Ka chan la sérieuse et moi la petite souris nous nous tenons debout ensemble

Le patron a offert un saké de Fukushima qui ne sera plus jamais brassé Nous l'avons bu chacune le dédiant à shie qui était là aussi. Une bougie désormais brûlera pour elle ici chaque jour. Le patron pleurait. Nous aussi pleurions, mais droites. Ensemble nous ne nous laisserons pas abattre, jamais.

We’re talking mentally ill

In the hospital, in school, at work, at shows, in the military, everywhere, even online, mentor-type personalities have told me, “You’d do better if you weren’t mentally ill.” My answer to that is, “No shit, Sherlock.”

You’d be better at what you are trying to do if you weren’t mentally ill..

Not long ago, a friend online and a mixer I worked with told me, “You’d be a lot better at music without mental health issues.” He was trying to be nice. But engineer-types have a hard time there. It stuck in my craw. I am wrong for that. But he also should not have said it. I doubt I will get as much from him. He doesn’t care. I’m crazy, or whatever.

I have a dream

It’s important to me because I dream about being taken seriously as a person and patient. When tech-types or capitalist-types dismiss me for being nuts, they are the ones actually being nuts. But good luck telling them that.

One of many important timelines

If you can’t see how the world has been propelled forward by the study of psychology and psychiatry (and set back too), allow me to elucidate; here is just one timeline of early institutions and asylums. If folks got out of line, they got put away. What do you think the technician is saying when he says, “if it wasn’t for his mental illness…” He’s saying, “he will never be a serious part of the music scene.” Thanks, tech. I got enough diagnoses. I can do without that one too.

Meanwhile, at the house.

“I’d like it better if it wasn’t so busy,” what I found myself saying to artwork I was attempting. Busy can be good. But I was going for simple. So I wasn’t saying the art was bad, I was stating my preference. That’s okay, with art. People, it’s different. People change, know things they don’t say, don’t know things they do say. They are malleable in a way a work of art is not. People often grow. They can get better or worse since you last saw them. They can learn, they can forget. To write a whole human off because they act weird, especially for their music, is called bias.

When you are hospitalized as a mental patient, it’s easy to experience bias against other patients. No one gets out alive.

I overreacted, sure. However, I am not dealing with a mental health bias today. So, I’ll take the overreacting. As a mental health patient, it is especially painful when I notice my own bias. I try not to do it, but I am a human.

The betrayal of it all.

To be honest, it feels like betrayal as a mental health patient. It never comes from folks I thought of as enemies. Only friends and coworkers show their bias. Maybe they feel safe and let their guard down. What they do is reveal how wrongly I thought they thought of me. I feel like a fool. That hurts my feelings. Conflict ensues. Relationship toast. This cycle here is my social life in a nutshell.

But Keri, she does it perfectly.

Why it works with Keri is respect. I do not get that from the world. Keri wraps me in it. I act dumb around Keri. I even experience dysphoric anger and hypomania. I probably say the dumbest shit. She doesn’t care. She just loves. Keri is the singularly most non-biased person for the mentally ill I have ever met. This includes over ten years of psychiatric treatment. She sees the person under the crazy and talks to that. She’s always completely safe around me. Also, a goddess..

R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

I think this respect is applicable to more than just how we treat the mentally ill. We could do with a refresher course of respect online, in person, and for ourselves. I can look at a work, or listen to a song, or thumb through one of my catalogs and feel proud. I have garnered myself some respect. It doesn’t matter if anyone bought it. I am listening to it now. It works for me. I respect the artist, even if it is me.

Online I basically quit because of this issue. I need a certain amount of respect as a human or it feels like hostile territory. I do not venture into hostile territory for fun. Missions only. Some teenager calls me old fat white boomer or whatever and it bothers me. I can act like it doesn’t, but it still does. If I respect myself that day, I avoid it altogether.

How to respect someone going through a hard time.

When you look eye to eye with someone and it is obvious they are struggling, I’d advise offering assistance or staying clear. Putting their tirades and breakdowns on social media sets the whole human race back. Respect them. Respect yourself. Respect us. People do not earn respect to deserve it. They are people. They get it anyway. Waiting for the world to respect you before you respect the world is futile, verified.

Kelly Kintner

Just a bipolar patient today.

Trying to keep my thoughts organized, I'm looking at our big move taking place in three stages: Stage 1 (or S1) began yesterday when we picked up the keys to our double-wide, to our mailbox, and brought the first small load over; Stage 2 (S2) will take place next Saturday when the movers take our furniture out of this small house and move it into the double wide; and Stage 3 (S3) will be settling into the new place, doing what cleanup we can to this old property, and turning the house keys back to the landlord.

Yesterday was S1, D1, or Day 1 of the First Stage, briefly described above. Today, S1, D2, will find us making at least two runs over to the new place, bringing what we can fit into the wife's small car.

And the adventure continues.

Stay entertained thanks to our Weekly Tracker giving you next week's Anticipated Movies & Shows, Most Watched & Returning Favorites, and Shows Changes & Popular Trailers.

Anticipated Movies

• ☆ Digger
• Verity
• Just Play Dead

Anticipated Shows

• LEGO ONE PIECE
• Private Eyes West Coast
• Coven Academy
• ☆ East of Eden
• Kill Jackie
• War
• Overgeared

Returing Favorites

• ☆ The Simpsons — Season 38
• Animal Control — Season 5
• Blue Lights — Season 4
• Medusa — Season 2
• Scrubs — Season 2
• The Amazing Race — Season 39
• Shark Tank — Season 18
• The Ramparts of Ice — Season 2
• The Celebrity Traitors — Season 2
• Doc — Season 4
• Red Queen — Season 2
• Tougen Anki — Season 2
• Aoashi — Season 2
• Blue Box — Season 2
• Heartland — Season 20
• Marshals — Season 2
• Tracker — Season 4

Trending Shows Status Changes

• The Final Problem — Returning Series → Ended
• Welcome to Demon-School, Iruma-kun — Returning Series → Ended
• Smoking Behind the Supermarket with You — Returning Series → Ended
• A Different World — Returning Series → Ended
• Chainsmoker Cat — Returning Series → Ended
• A Killer Story — Returning Series → Ended

Most Watched Movies this Week

• = The End of Oak Street
• new The Love Hypothesis
• +1 Resident Evil
• -2 Mayday
• -2 Coyote vs. Acme
• new Toy Story 5
• -1 Spider-Man: Brand New Day
• new Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma
• new UNABOMBER
• new Backrooms

Most Watched Shows this Week

• = Lanterns
• +1 Ted Lasso
• +1 Lioness
• new MobLand
• -3 Reacher
• +3 Slow Horses
• new Neagley
• -1 Stuart Fails to Save the Universe
• +1 Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
• -2 Dark Matter

Popular Trailers

• Ticket call out — Street Fighter
• Winners get things done. — Digger
• What's happening to him? — Clayface
• In Cinemas Now — Resident Evil
• Hands in. Reassemble your team and experience Avengers Endgame: Encore tonight in IMAX. — Avengers: Endgame
• Ben Bishop core — Runner
• Full Dog — Forgotten Island
• Unforgettable :15 — Heart of the Beast
• In Cinemas 1 October — Verity
• Buy It Now On Digital — Super Troopers 3

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Hi, I’m Kevin 👋. Product Manager at Trakt and creator of Rippple. If you’d like to support what I'm building, you can download Rippple for Trakt, explore the open source project, or go Trakt VIP.

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Publicat la 10 septembrie 2016


Uneori (abia dacă) îți dai seama cât de mult fac alții pentru tine. Alteori, când asta se întâmplă, realizezi (poate) cât rău le-ai provocat (voit sau nu). Numai că atunci când îți dai seama de toate astea, ei bine, este prea târziu. Ceilalți (sau unii cel puțin, și în special cei care contează cel mai mult) nu vor privi cu ochi buni atitudinea ta, acțiunile tale, iar iertarea lor nu va veni. Iar dacă va veni, este pentru că tu însemni prea mult pentru ei. Oricum, acea iertare nu va fi deplină. Deplinătatea ar însemna ștergerea amintirilor, iar asta nu se poate întâmpla!

Flames. Flăcări.

Flăcările. Astea marchează diverse etape ale vieții; ale vieții de acum și ale vieții de apoi. La început ele sunt pasiuni, apoi ele reprezintă chiar focul creației. La un moment dat, aceasta din urmă se transformă în focul pârjolitor, mistuitor, ce lasă în urmă doar cenușa. Și mai sunt două, dar nu sunt sigur care-i ordinea, însă gândesc că Phoenix-ul ar trebui să preceadă focurilor iadului. Așadar urmează, să spunem în mod mitologic, flăcările ce urzesc uimitorul Phoenix. Să fie oare flăcările iadului singurele flăcări perpetue? Singurele ce lasă în urmă pasiunea, creația, ba chiar și cenușa arderii pământene, inclusiv memoriile și mitologia? Așa se pare. Nimeni nu s-a-ntors de acolo să ne spună. Sau această noțiune temporală este legată de o religie temporară?

Publicat la 7 septembrie 2016


Să fi fost zi, să fi fost seară?! Să fi fost aievea, să fi fost vis?! Să fi fost albul, sau poate cenușiul?!

A fost și zi, a fost și seară… A fost aievea, a fost și vis… A fost și alb, a fost și cenușiu…

Va mai fi o zi, va mai fi o seară. Va fi aievea, va fi și vis. Va fi alb, va fi și cenușiu.

A fost și va mai fi! La fel sau altfel… Va mai fi…

today at the gym, I was doing my deadlifts for first week, and it was programed as an RP five triple. There was a guy next to me that was pretty built, and like the kind of guy that would honestly intimidate me or scare me because I would feel like they would dislike me for being kind of feminine. Like a frat guy almost, but he asked me if I was going for a PR when I loaded up the weight, and I was honestly taking it back because this was an RPE five triple, and it was like 350 pounds. I have become very desensitized to incredibly strong people whether it’s through my Instagram where I get a lot of powerlifting content, or the incredibly strong people that frequent the gym. I forget that if you compare me to an average gym goer or a non-power lifter, I will likely be stronger. Part of me is honestly so surprised that he asked if I was going for a PR, that it feels like it might even be an insult. But he was lifting a little bit under that weight, and he asked me if I competed in any bodybuilding shows when we were talking a little bit. I choose to take this as a compliment.

Publicat la 20 iulie 2016

Cu ceva timp în urmă, am întâlnit o dilemă-provocare interesantă, legată de curaj:

Spune-mi de poţi, ce e curajul. — Platon

Primul gând-cuvânt a fost Madness, apoi, imediat, m-am gândit la „curaj nebun”.

Și apoi a urmat muzica; mai exact, piesa Courage a celor de la ManOwaR. Iar versurile melodiei includ cuvinte precum bătălii, încredere, inimă, suflet, victorie!

Battles are fought by those with the courage to believe They are won by those who find the heart Find a heart to share This heart that fills the soul will point the way to victory

Ăsta ar fi un sens dat curajului. Ar mai fi sensul în care, la un moment dat, ești nevoit să îți înfrunți durerea fizică sau sufletească, curajul reprezentând tăria, puterea de a acționa în acest sens… Dar până să alunec cu muzica în direcția asta, tot o piesă ManOwaR își croiește drum către această postare: I Believe.

All stand together for the world to see Now the time is right to live out all our dreams Say the words forever, your strength will never leave If you want to win the fight, say “I believe“

Totuși, nu voi lăsa sunetele să alunece spre piese triste și voi asocia acestui din urmă sens două dintre fotografiile mele mai vechi (sau relativ recente — căci perspectiva timpului este cel puțin relativă). Prima simbolizează durerea, iar a doua speranța.


„Durerea”, așa cum am denumit-o acum, am folosit-o prima dată sub numele „Death Is Up Above”, cu gândul că asta este o perspectivă a realității înconjurătoare, a realității cotidiene… Am fost surprins de acest efect Google obținut din două dintre fotografiile mele luminoase. Norii (ce apar în fotografiile originale) sunt oricum o sursă perpetuă pentru dezlănțuirea imaginației noastre, dar mașinăriile, cu modul lor binar de lucru, ne surprind uneori prin rezultatul succesiunii în care își aranjează cele două elemente (aparent) neutre, unul dintre ele la adunare (0), iar altul la înmulțire (1).


Această din urmă fotografie nu este rezultatul mașinăriilor, ci al unor efecte optice, intitulând-o „There Must Be Light!”. Având în vedere locul în care am surprins razele soarelui, mintea face asocieri din nou cu muzica: jucării în pod. Toys in the Attic este un album al trupei americane de rock Aerosmith, album apărut în 1975. Aș zice că cea mai faimoasă piesă de pe acest album este Walk This Way, dar nu vreau să vă spun eu cum și pe unde să mergeți! Dar versurile piesei care dă numele albumului se potrivesc de minune fotografiei de mai sus:

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothing's seen Real's a dream

Dar de la curaj am ajuns la vise, așa că e cazul să mă opresc. Și cum acesta nu este un blog care provoacă la discuții, eu nu vă voi provoca așa cum a făcut-o Platon! Asta rămâne la latitudinea fiecăruia dintre cei ce vor ajunge să citească până în acest punct.

With noodling neck, romancers raze the living. Slipping. Sliding. Seductively slithering. A curve towards the masses. A bend where tongues fork sway. Plate not the bowled defendant. Shout “Spaghetti!” and twist delay.

© 2026 AnOublietteofThought. All rights reserved.

Adventurers

Character	Race	Class	Description
Ainsley	Human	Ranger level 1	An older gentleman with a groomed moustache and a wooden pipe in his mouth, covered in dark green cloak.
Ambros	Human	Cleric level 7	Follower of Aniu, Lord of Time.
Balarus	Human	Fighter level 4	An ex-woodsman, quite a crack shot with his bow.
Hedwig Hogwarts	Elf	Fighter / magic-user	An always alert owl masquerading as an elf.
Ivor	Human	Cleric level 1	A young, soft-spoken worshipper of Umannah with thick black beard.
Tam o' Shanter	Human	Cleric level 4	A boisterous wine-lover of Losborst on a Great Crusade of the Grape.
Tarkus the Promising	Human	Cleric level 5	Follower of Bachontoi, God of Red Wisdom.
Thorinda Bung	Human	Monk level 4	She has blonde hair done up in a tight pony tail and wears light, loose suit.
Volkard	Human	Ranger level 1	Bushy hobo from the wilderness.
Wilbalt Abendeurer	Human	Fighter level 3	A burly blonde barbarian; Warmund's younger brother and a better swordsman of the two.

Flowerbloom 17th, Waterday

“Come, touch me some more...” brass door face beckoned Ivor.

But Ivor was busy—busy staying alive!

Balarus, Ainsley, Thorinda Bung, Aurella, Tam, and Ivor had just finished fighting five muscular green brutes. The beasts had no head, eyes instead of nipples, and wide mouth crossing their chest.

Bright light flashed before them, blinding them. Ambros, Wilbalt, and an unknown bushy man appeared in the chamber ahead of them. The trio was flanked by four pits filled with content most foul: excrement, bile, and something yellow.

“Watch out!”

Another headless brute approached from the east.

“Oh no!” Thorinda gulped as she ran around the corner only to illuminate two more. But with her lantern they got a feeling for the whole chamber. It was seventy feet long and sixty feet wide. A total of five potential egresses: three framed stone slabs with a musical note on them, two on the north wall, one on the west wall, and one framed waterfall to the south, east from the corridor they came through. And a dozen of iron-ringed pits filled with dizzying contents.

Three brutes were present in total, two walking towards them between the pits, and one standing in a semi-circular alcove to the far east. The last one held a crossbow.

Adventurers fanned out. Balarus, Volkard, and Ainsley ran to the shit-pits, and shot at the crossbow wielding monster. They noticed it looked slightly different, wearing broad nipple-goggles.

“THROW THEM INTO THE BILE!” the goggly brute yelled. Two other brutes complied and began grappling with their opponents. Thorinda, an experienced martial artist, contorted and dodged the clumsy beast, tripping and stunning it in the process. Drunkard Tam, on the other hand, got manhandled, like he is used to.

The brute lifted Tam like a little child; it carried him as others slashed and smashed it; and it chucked the cleric into a vat full of concentrated bile. Dressed in chainshirt, Tam sank like a rock.

It burned. It burned a lot. And it hurt. It hurt a lot.

“EAT SHIT!” goggly brute yelled and shot back at Balarus. The man was hurt, but the monster was soon put down, looking like a dead porcupine. Ivor the Brave smashed the chest-mouthed beast that chucked Tam. He hit it just bellow the mouth, where a normal man's solar plexus would be, caving its chest in. Thorinda glaived the stunned one through its nipple-eye, exiting through the ribcage.

Wilbalt threw his axe to the side, grabbed a polearm, and ran to the pit containing half dissolved Tam. In panic, and cursed by soberness of pain, Tam attempted to doff his chainmail. But his eyes burned, and his fingers were clumsy. When he felt something hitting him on the head he grabbed on that in desperation.

This was a fine decision, for it was the blunt side of the polearm. Ambros, Ivor, and Ainsley jumped in to help Wilbalt, and dragged the cleric out.

A flash or red light blinded everyone. Tarkus the Promising and Hedwig of Hogwarts materialised in the centre of the chamber.

Victorious but battered, the clerics cast healing spells, while others bound their wounds, counted the dead, and took a breather. They organised into two groups, one led by Bily Tam and another by Ranger Ainsley.

Tam was joined by Wilbalt, Balarus, Thorinda, and Hedwig.

Ivor, Volkard, Ambros, and Tarkus joined Ainsley.

The teams spread out and began investigating the chamber.

There were twelve pits in total, organised into four columns and three rows. All had an elevated iron ring around them. In the first row, from left to right, pits were filled with: a grey and foetid, soupy mix of bone chips and necrotic flesh; a sticky, yellowish-orange liquid that quivers; a pale, slimy, milky-white liquid; and what looked and smelled like stomach acid. In the second row: two pits with liquid excrement with floating chunky bits; a misty, silvery, see-through substance; and another bile pit. Third row, same order: a bile pit that Tam took a dive in; another yellow-orange pit; another bile pit; and one more silvery, wispy pit.

Arrow-filled brute laid dead in what could, at best, be described as some sort of magical circle. Nobody dared stepped into it, so they dragged the corpse out of it instead. They took its goggles and attempted to convince Thorinda to wear them. Alas, she was way too lithe.

Stone slabs looked pretty much like the slabs on the lower level; the ones they had to blow in order for them to open. Yellowish, sticky substance was baked into the floor right in front the north-east slab. Finally, a corridor was visible beyond the framed waterfall.

Tam and his men investigated the yellowed doors. Once at safe distance, Ivor passed the blood-caked, filthy, flute to Ambros. Cleric blew on it. Barbs tore into his lips and tongue, injuring him. No divine words will be spoken coherently for some time.

Slab slid upward, and yellowish fumes billowed out, dissipating in the chamber. Thirty foot corridor led into a circular chamber with four skeletons stirring something in a pit below them. The skeletons wore thick goggles, aprons, and gloves. They used long pitchforks to stir a mass of something.

Tam gang rolled in, while Ainsley crew investigated beyond the waterfall. A wondrous sight, down a corridor leading into a pool of clear water, filled with colourful corals. Natural light shining through two horizontal slits illuminated the whole chamber. An opaque membrane was in each slit, softening and diffusing the sunlight.

“Hold me back, I am going for a swim!” Hedwig was eager.

“No, let's see if there is anything inside first!”

“Good idea. Let's chop up some of those guys!”

And it was indeed a good idea. A swarm of long, slimy, crimson tentacles tore the severed arm to pieces. They retracted to the sides. Serene blue has been violated with frothy red.

Drawing by Anthony.

Balarus shot at the membranes, shattered each like they were glass.

“I still wanna go for a swim!”

“No, come on, let's go.”

Once back into the pit chamber, Ainsley team quickly realised that the stone slab had shut behind Tam's gang. One of the clerics banged on it. Ambros blew Ivor's flute once more, and the doors opened.

Four skeleton-chefs were destroyed; the mass they stirred bas a smouldering, brewing concoction of fungi, large, shrimp-like insects, and some herbs and lichen. Doors to the north east led into another circular chamber. This one was filled with barrels containing highly flammable military oil.

“Let's burn the vats.”

“Let's burn octopus!”

“No, let's burn EVERYTHING!”

“Guys, this place seems very organic. It might collapse.”

“LET'S BURN EVERYTHING!”

Whilst discussing, nearly two dozen giant flying krills invaded the chamber, causing confusion and mayhem. Stone slab shut behind them. Many got stabbed and nibbled upon. Ivor succumbed to his wounds. But ultimately, adventurers prevailed, adding the the unholy paella brewing in the chamber.

Doors were shut. Toxic fumes were filling the chamber. An barrels of oil beckoned some more than others.

Will they fulfil their burning desire?

Or will it be quenched by others?

Only one way to find out.

Meme by Lord Jubalon Flux.

Discuss at Dragonsfoot forum.

#Wilderlands #SessionReport

My friends at Radix Co-op are debuting THE SOLAR GRID box-set at Printed Matter's New York Art Book Fair as we speak. If in New York, swing by MoMa PS1 and check it out.

Front cover preview until I get glamor shots of the actual box in all its glory.

#work #tsg #comix

It has been a week of strange, slow-paced sci-fi from the 70s at the Ganzeer cinema this week for some reason:

1. WORLD ON A WIRE (1973)

Second screening for me. The first time I was probably too young and immature to pick up on what it was actually about. This time around, I was actually surprised to discover that it dives into simulation theory, the core premise of the entire film! What with simulation theory kind of being the topic du jour in 2026, the movie is way ahead of its time having been released in 1973! I was always under the impression that it was 1999's THE MATRIX that first introduced the idea in popular culture. The internet tells me that the first “formal” proposition of a computer-based simulation hypothesis was not until Oxford philosopher put it in a 2003 paper titled “Are you living in a computer simulation?”

Though German computer pioneer Konrad Zuse seems to have laid the groundwork in his 1969 book, CALCULATING SPACE, arguing that the entire universe operates like a giant computer, a slight difference to suggesting that we were in fact potentially living inside a giant computer. Philip K. Dick though certainly kicked around very close ideas in a bunch of his stories.

Albeit slow, with stunted and often times laughable performances, WORLD ON A WIRE is still worth the watch (and worth keeping in your library) for the gloriously aesthetic 70s-era ultra-modern interiors alone.

2. SILENT RUNNING (1972)

Based on the premise, I expected to be into this one more than I actually was. The ecological ethos of the film is probably more urgent and relevant now than at the time of release, but the ending is just too much of an unnecessary downer to warrant sitting through the excruciating slowness of the entire movie. Really great production design though.

3. SOLARIS (1972)

Slowness is to be expected with Andrei Tarkovsky at the helm. Not great, but again, great production design, and so different and far more philosophical than Steven Soderbergh's 2002 adaptation, which Sanislaw Lem (author of the original novel upon which both films are based) loathed, surprising of course no one. Lem was known for his scathing essays critical of the standard flare of American sci-fi (and this is in regard to novels let alone movies), often citing formulaic tropes and low-quality trash that lacked any sense of philosophical inquiry (singling Philip K. Dick as a rare exception). I should probably get around to reading more Lem soon.

---

OneDrive have notified me that autosyncing with my camera app will be discontinued in a couple days, so I am now scrambling to transfer all media from my phone to an external harddrive. Some 20,000 photos and videos that I have to archive in batches of 500 or so, because my newly downloaded Photosync app crashes otherwise. This will probably take me all goddamn day. Going forward though, I should be able to set it to auto-archive (and delete from phone!) on a monthly cycle without any hiccups.

Looking forward to ridding myself of the various cloud-storage services, just as I have with streaming.

#journal #film