Our Father Who art in Heaven Hallowed be Thy name Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven Give us this day our daily Bread And forgive us our trespasses As we forgive those who trespass against us And lead us not into temptation But deliver us from evil

Amen

Jesus is Lord! Come Lord Jesus!

Come Lord Jesus! Christ is Lord!

Heavenly Father

I am purchasing the dawn And no more rain Nor Earth in Water- as a substance to remain And I, the closing witness- as expression to our pain And belittle to existence I cried forever on this day And laid new tracks at enemy Grum For betrothed to anew I knew this copy wasn’t round Nor paranoid in filth But blessing every courage- and sound of the alarm- in every calf to behold We slipped upon our death For chrysalis and church,- But mercy called and our unfathom- crossed a billfold of every heart And why the sum of carry- ever North where water was And how about We just get off to Heaven where it was In dining maids of Windsor For this call to undo favour- but our part And in this query-people I’ll have amaranth and war To see the women so upset And torque to knowledge kept us new Upon our own new prism bow To forts and Union Jack to here benew And in the silence applause Our very spirits good To tame with verse Upon this space- and queried vine For Christ ahead- and very question to this rose That if I, the only one, did sleep- away the Winter that is unknown to receive- the precious star upon this Heaven- that I saw- where you were there And time repent that I was born To treasured land as where you were A many hands to just belie- our heads together many through Your light is here to join in they- our other brethren in esteem And we will walk away in light At Ventnor Crossing- and her stars The time remains until our distance- from the forest leg and curve And with these stars we will collapse Forever change- upon our knees.

Let My Heart Follow London

Let in tiding And as in time To fall away the log Let bright spirits- sit in her And do no disarray Times to street the war In paying men to suffer- Peace upon our goal And Victory then For each path A swollen set of cinders Each in her the grey eyes With hope in wise all hold Days in nights to Japanese To bitter off because- we tasted sweet An arm for our medallions To pay and see And policy, the grind Sad but true of government And what we waited for The document in sea Lines persist, to hold and pier For us to Royal protect The days and nights of her In this rose we keep No mansion but to vector And I, as Ross became To prowess and abide Seeking all cure in all Even if at swerved The dust of holded oath And what our just besure A difficult deterrent- But trust the day Without this random arch And to our Cross Nights ahead are freedom To sit with fire- upon a deck Boards shall to and from Resistance keep Our rally in the boots and just as mad- the ground, our merchant cellar To this be our call To know and when such profit Because of you, this choice I offer And I have hanged a man To blight and hist’ry came And nights to keep our hold Let us tow upon him then And Vict’ry then The Earth shall stop all war And come as not to rise Repugnant rain in umber Collectants rest And was it war in time To see unkept What prison then asunder Tried to band the deep Beknighted field Of Hist’ry War Keeping shallow cards And seven men to Rothesay Within this cowl and Arthur Be depleted then, of deathful globe Places then afar The solemn wind will gale A fragrant, nightly war At three of deep remain To shallow all the tongue And distance as they flew Parts of morgue to flame Our luck to Grande Bretange Owing scarce to be This mind and then No thought of war Our keep was interhere Do no abelusk to rust The verdant men at three- Calling czar to London For in this noise at full Arrest our peer This bruise of peer Away to keep us water And strangling Cross The duty wept And misery unfloor But to mission blow As frighted kin- and madrigal We bed to those afield To gift our neighbour Children new At Essex Knights in favour And indecision fell The ride of shores within To mercy pale And friends may meet At calm, forbidded star And in this flow An errant voice Watch to them below The Justice war and Judge Amaiming histr’l wonder And all of face- allusion then Derided never peace But frail wind Because of her The Washerwoman rise For places taught Alight in me The Earth shall know her star Of Acadie at shore And won a London man.

My Wednesday MLB Game of Choice...

... has the New York Mets facing the Seattle Mariners. Opening pitch is just minutes away. I'll be following the radio call of the game broadcast over the New York Mets Radio Network.

And the adventure continues.

I had a joke i was ready to write last night. i was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and for a moment it felt perfect. Now it’s gone, so i guess we’ll stick with me not having jokes, just my dry, grumpy writing with occasional sprinkles of sarcasm. I think im getting sick. And no not mentally i meant physically, my housemate was sick a few days ago, And i spent most of the time making fun of how he has been acting like the world was collapsing. I guess now its my turn, consequences. it follows us all like a shadow, no matter how we may try to run away from it or how fast we walk, we’re eventually caught up. Anyways. I fell asleep as soon as i got back from work and woke up around eight or nine in the evening as usual. Something about sleeping for a ridiculous amount of time should probably concern me more than it does. Then again, I’ve always slept more than i should.

At this point, i assume my body just sees free time and mistakes it for a medical emergency.

Sincerely, still losing arguments to my mattress. Sleep’s most loyal customer.

When the world appears to be collapsing; when the well runs dry; when only one grain of rice remains in your cupboard; when soil transforms into dust; when your scaffolds creak and crack beneath the weight of ending—

You are at the beginning.

Grieve. Then step forward.

There are greater days ahead.

I am one week away from going out of office for an unknown amount of time.

This time it is not by choice. For most people, this may be an opportunity to reset, reconnect, and slow down. For me, I have already done that once and I am unconvinced this time will be the same. This is a forced pause, undefined in length and not entirely of my choosing. It does not spark joy or inspire creativity, however I refuse to sit idly by. I will deliberately be productive and will show up even when there is nowhere to be.

I am being given time, a resource most people never have enough of. I have big plans and a large to-do list to complete. Most importantly, I want to challenge and surprise myself. I know I am more capable than I allow myself to believe, yet that inner voice lingers loudly. I suppose that is why I am starting this.

I refuse to be defined by my reality and limited by my circumstances.

Tier 2 Skulk A large, spined amphibian with translucent skin that matches its surroundings and eyes that look like stone spheres. Motives & Tactics: Live to fight another day, petrify predators, protect nest

DC: 14 | TH: 9/16 | HP: 4 | SP: 3 ATK: +4 | Bite: Melee | 2d4+6 phy Experiences: Camouflage +3

FEATURES Electroreceptors – Passive: The Axolotlisk has advantage on detecting Hidden creatures when in the same body of water. Ambush – Action: While Hidden, make an attack against a target within Close range. On a success, deal 2d6+8 physical damage. Submerge – Action: While in water, become Hidden until after the Axolotlisk’s next attack. Attacks made while Hidden from this feature have advantage. Live to Fight Another Day – Reaction: If the Axolotlisk takes Severe damage or drops below half its HP, you can mark a Stress to have it flee to the nearest body of water and take its Submerge action. Petrifying Gaze – Reaction: When the Axolotlisk takes damage from an attack within Close range, you can spend a Fear to force the attacker to make an Instinct Reaction Roll. On a failure, they begin to turn to stone, marking an HP and starting a Petrification Countdown (4). This countdown ticks down when the Axolotlisk is attacked. When it triggers, the target must make a death move. If the Axolotlisk is defeated, all petrification countdowns end.

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This product includes materials from the Daggerheart System Reference Document 1.0, © Critical Role, LLC. under the terms of the Darrington Press Community Gaming (DPCGL) License. More information can be found at https://www.daggerheart.com. There are no previous modifications by others.

La ville, pourtant toute en collines, en vagues rocheuses, immobiles – on loge dans ses moindres plissures – se figure [à soi (disant)] telle un trou par lequel passer sans cesse. De la fenêtre, trop petite, mesquine, on peut voir une partie du trou, et deviner, à la rumeur, aux sonorités, aux lueurs, ce qui demeure caché. [Quand la porte est ouverte, il est préférable de regarder en se tenant dans le fond du couloir, où règne une odeur de bonde pas lavée, de vaisselle et d’égout] : on voit dans l’embrasure rectangulaire le carré du trou de la ville, de nuit surtout, tant la ville est nuit.

#Fenêtresurville #Didascalies

Fenêtre sur ville

八階まで吹き抜ける光は妙に白く、棚という棚が過剰に照らされていた。雑貨も食品も衣類も玩具も、分類されているようでいて実際には混ざり合い、何でも売っている巨大な小売店の中で、私は灰色の股下が長いジャージを履いていた。普段なら選ばない格好なのに、ここではそれが妙にしっくりきた。たまにしか来ない場所なのに、なぜか落ち着く。

何を買いに来たのかは分からなかった。ただ、クレーンゲームの列が放つ色とりどりの光を眺めながら、流れに身を任せて上から下へ降りていく。それだけで十分だった。

景色の切れ端は、エスカレーターの移動とともに勝手に浮かんでは沈んでいく。昔、この店の入口近くで見かけた人のことを思い出す。恐竜の形をした妙な履き物を引きずりながら歩いていたその人は、顔の輪郭さえ曖昧だった。それでも全体の空気だけで心が傾いた記憶がある。人を好きになる理由など、本当は顔でも言葉でもなく、遠くから見た重心の置き方のようなものなのかもしれなかった。

七階の衣料品売り場を抜けると、地下通路の途中にあるような古いアーケード街を思い出した。昭和の婦人服店が横一列に並び、地上から差し込む光だけが時代から取り残されていた場所だ。連れが体調を崩して建物の奥へ消えたあの日、私はただ長い通路の端まで歩き、折り返して戻った。何かを待つ時間というのは、歩くこととよく似ている。目的地は最初から存在せず、引き返すことまで含めて一つの移動なのだ。

六階まで降りると、学校の記憶が混ざり始めた。机を端へ寄せ、椅子だけを輪にして並べた教室。順番に理由を述べていく時間。遊びたいから、誰かと話したいから、そんな種類の答えはすぐに出尽くした。最後のほうで、普段ほとんど目立たない生徒が予想外の角度から言葉を落とした瞬間、空気は奇妙な方向へねじれていった。自分の番が来た頃には残された表現がなくなっていて、口を開く前から全員の視線だけが集まっていた。あの感覚は今も覚えている。選択肢が多いように見えて、実際には何も選べない瞬間の重さを。

五階では家具が並んでいた。そこを歩いていると、自分の家を思い出した。安心した途端に身体が冷えていくような感覚。感情の起伏が少なく、表情もほとんど変わらない生活。その単調さが部屋の形と不思議に調和していた。落ち着く場所というのは、必ずしも幸福な場所ではない。ただ変化が少ないだけの場合もある。

四階に降りるころには、昔の職場の景色が現れた。シーツを伸ばし、皺を消しながら働いていた頃、年上の誰かが忘れた夢について問いかけてきたことがある。また別の日には、他人の視線がどこへ向いていたのかを指摘する感覚を初めて理解した。人は相手を見ているつもりで、自分の見たいものしか見ていない。思い出の中の顔もまた、いくつかの決まった表情に整理されて保存されている。

三階では、自立だけを唯一の正解として語る大人たちの声が聞こえる気がした。一人で生き、一人で決め、一人で立つこと。それだけが成熟の形として提示される世界。しかし本当は、多くの人が流れに乗せられながら移動しているだけなのではないか。今の私がエスカレーターに運ばれているように。

二階の食品売り場では、魚や惣菜の匂いが漂っていた。その匂いは旅館の夕食を連想させた。卓上を埋め尽くすほどの料理の豊かさに身を委ねていると、それまで気にしていた小さな失敗など自然と遠ざかっていく。熱い油の中で具材が静かに煮える小皿料理の香りまで思い出し、空腹とも懐かしさともつかない感覚が胸の奥を通り過ぎた。

そして一階。

自動ドアの向こうに夜の街が広がっている。出会った頃は電車で向かった場所へ、いつからか車で行くようになったことも思い出す。公園の入口に咲く桜は美しかったが、本当に心を動かしたのは、その先の橋を渡ったあとに広がる風景だった。入口はいつも入口に過ぎない。

店を出ても何かを買った記憶は残っていなかった。ただ、上から下まで降りてきた時間だけが身体の中に残っている。次の日もまた、その続きを生きる気がした。夏休みが終わらずにどこかへ伸びていくような感覚。そして、実際には持っていないはずなのに、乗ったことのないオープンカーの鍵だけをポケットに入れているような、不思議な余裕があった。

Today was the first day of my business trip that I get to spend with someone and I hung out with A like I normally do. It was a wonderful time as always, and you’re the end of the night I told him about how he is my gold standard of humor in a person, and how I don’t think that is a reasonable goal. He also mentioned that he felt the same which I thought was sweet. I’m just so incredibly grateful that I got to know him, and that I get to have him as a lifelong friend.

Some days when I am sleep deprived and lonely, I just want to see the world burn, and on those days, my mind goes into dark, but also weird places.

Some symptoms are

1. When i see despair in someone’s eyes i feel extreme happiness

2. I visualize a violent death for myself and feel the same extreme happiness

I would say though that typically the dark thoughts I have are directed inward instead of outward. I usually have no desire to harm others. But I do sometimes visualize myself on a strange operating table, bound by thick metal wires, and the flesh on my limbs spread apart in half with a straight cut down the middle to expose bone. The happiness I feel is even stranger, a frenetic happiness that causes deranged laughs to escape from my lips. It’s a combination of feeling stimmed and despairing at my life and hating everything that I am. And because I feel pain and feel isolated from others, I wish the others could be just as unhappy as me and know me through that. So this culminates in a wish for the world to burn, along with an exciting, violent end to my existence.