what if our most sincere desires were seen as signals of how much they want us back?

if you love your God so much, why don’t you leave him in peace?

when faced with the most beautiful thing in the world: 1. make sure it exists. 2. observe it closely. It might evaporate. 3. listen to the most beautiful thing in the world. 4. lay the most beautiful thing in the world on the most comfortable surface in the world. 5. love it immensely.

an indigenous leader in Brazil told me once that air is my element. and I should know that the air includes everything; it doesn’t choose. that should also be a human capacity: inclusion without judgment, but with discernment. another great quality of air, he tole me, is vivification: the ability to bring life. as we inhale, we bring life into our being, when we exhale, we expand life. expansion is another wonderful quality of air. what kind of thoughts do we give life to? what kind of thoughts do we expand?

The Perfect Neighbor, Geeta Gandbhir (2025) 

Nominated for Best Documentary Feature 

A visceral ride-along to its obvious and tragic end in the ongoing battle between a local Karen and the rest of her suburban Ocala, Florida neighbors. 

Gandbhir only uses police body- and interrogation-room cameras, court recordings, and 911 call audio to piece together the lead-up, chaos, and aftermath of the crime without reenactments, talking heads, or other documentary filmmaking methods. The result is like a ninety-minute Instagram Reel. 

Beneath the crime-blotter rubbernecking is a brutally honest depiction of contemporary American life with its toxic stew of racial animus, late-stage capitalist sprawl, shoot-first culture, and inept public safety infrastructure. 

Stream it.

#Film #Oscars2026 #ThePerfectNeighbor #GeetaGandbhir #Documentary #BestDocumentary #TrueCrime #Film #MovieReview #Larrys100 #100WordReview #100DaysToOffload

and always remember, kids: every day is born good, it’s just us messing it up.

Officially Unofficial

#nsfw #CeCe

We sat there on the bed in our quiet dorm room, the distant sounds of the city filtering through the window like a muffled soundtrack—cars honking, a train rumbling somewhere in the night. CeCe had pulled the blanket over her lap, her baggy hoodie zipped up for once, covering those full breasts that she'd been so eager to bare just moments ago. Her caramel skin still flushed from her earlier wandering, but her eyes were soft, serious. I wiped my tears, sniffling.

My head was still resting on her lap. She rocked back and forth slowly, much like a mother and her newborn. I lay there taking in her lavender scent and her gentle touch. She ran her hands through my frizzy hair, taking care to avoid tangles, but touching parts of my scalp as her fingers slowly combed through my hair. That moment was a turning point for me emotionally. No one else has been able to comfort me like CeCe did at that moment. Once the room got quiet, she took a deep breath and started talking, her voice steady but vulnerable.

“At first, Tasha, I was scared, knowing what porn was doing to me,” CeCe confessed, her thick thighs shifting under the blanket. I felt her thighs under my cheeks. “When I realized I was getting addicted—watching more, touching myself constantly—it freaked me out. I thought something was wrong with me. But then I stumbled onto stuff online about 'gooning'—you know, that endless edging, losing yourself in porn for hours. There were whole social media pages, communities treating it like a lifestyle, not a problem. People sharing how it rewired them for the better, made them feel alive. It clicked for me. And with my autism... I knew a long time ago it'd put me in places most folks wouldn't understand. The hyperfocus, the sensory obsessions—I've been preparing for the consequences since I got diagnosed. Isolation, judgment, all that. But I'm grateful I'm high-functioning, not worse off. I fought hard to get here, masking in classes, pushing through social stuff. I don't want you to feel bad, Tasha. This isn't your fault. You showed me a door, but I chose to walk through it and embrace this life.”

She paused for a moment to pat my head. I didn't dare move from that position. This moment felt so perfect. She rested her hand on my head and continued.

“I chose not to tell you of my condition. College is about fresh starts and redefining yourself. I didn't want special treatment. I didn't want you to feel sorry for me. I couldn't just throw out the 'I'm autistic' card every time something got heavy. The real world never works like that. So don't you regret any of your actions. Don't you drown in guilt for the choices I made.”

As I sat there nestled in her lap, she reached for my hand, locking fingers with me, her touch warm and reassuring. “I know the ramifications—how it's changed all my reward centers, making everything else feel dull compared to the high of porn and exposure. It can be isolating as hell, pushing people away like it has with everyone else. But at least now I'm happy. Truly happy. Before you introduced me to this, I just... existed. Fearful of the world, hiding in my shell, scared of every interaction. Now? I feel free, confident in my body, in my desires.”

She began to sob. I sat up and leaned over to hug her. Tears welled up in her eyes then, spilling over as she accepted my embrace, her curvy frame pressing against mine through the fabric.

“I'm sorry, Tasha,” she whispered, her voice breaking into sobs. “I never wanted to hurt you. You've been my rock—the only one who stuck around. I feel so safe with you. You're... you're in between for me. More than a bestie, more than a sister, not quite a lover. It's this deep, complex feeling I can't even label, but it's real. I understand if you start something with a guy, or anyone—I'll give you space, wear clothes around them, back off completely. But everything I do now feels right. If you can accept me like this...”

She sobbed uncontrollably. My heart sunk for her. Tear welling up again in my eyes. This poor woman had lived a lifetime of mental struggles and she was barely 20 years old. I had my whole world turned upside down with this brilliant whirlwind of beauty, intelligence, and depravity. I was learning to live by watching her. She was learning to live by letting go to explore her deepest desires. She just needed someone in her corner that understood so she had some anchor to reality. I accepted this unspoken role completely.

We talked for hours that night, pouring out our hearts in the dim light of our room, the weight of it all lifting bit by bit. I understood her then—really understood. My heart swelled, full to bursting with love for this fearless, complicated soul. Even if CeCe never fully acknowledged what we were, I made a silent vow right there to be faithful to her, to stand by her side no matter what. I didn't fall in love with her. That was such a shallow definition of how I felt. I loved her in ways that defied words the moment we met.

Plywood in UAE: Types, Uses & Why Sanco Is the Preferred Choice

Plywood is one of the most widely used building and interior materials in the UAE, thanks to its strength, versatility, and cost efficiency. From residential villas and apartments to commercial spaces, offices, and retail fit-outs, plywood plays a crucial role in modern construction and interior design.

At Sanco, we supply premium-quality plywood designed to meet the performance and durability demands of the UAE market.

Why Plywood Is in High Demand in the UAE

The UAE’s construction and interior industry continues to grow rapidly, increasing the demand for reliable and long-lasting materials. Plywood remains a top choice because it offers:

Excellent strength-to-weight ratio

Resistance to cracking and warping

Smooth surface ideal for finishing

Cost-effective alternative to solid wood

With rising searches for “plywood for furniture in UAE” and “plywood for interior works”, it’s clear that professionals and homeowners alike rely on plywood for both functionality and aesthetics.

Most Popular Types of Plywood Used in the UAE

Understanding plywood types is one of the most searched topics in the UAE, especially among contractors and interior designers.

1. Commercial Plywood

Commercial plywood is widely used for indoor applications such as wardrobes, partitions, and furniture. It offers good strength and a smooth finish at an affordable price, making it ideal for residential interiors.

1. Marine Plywood

Marine plywood is highly searched in the UAE due to its moisture resistance. It is manufactured using waterproof adhesives, making it suitable for:

Kitchens

Bathrooms

Humid environments

1. Furniture Plywood

Furniture-grade plywood is preferred for cabinets, beds, shelves, and modular furniture. It provides durability, dimensional stability, and excellent finishing options.

1. Interior & Decorative Plywood

Used for wall paneling, false ceilings, and decorative elements, this plywood supports modern interior design trends popular across the UAE.

Common Uses of Plywood in UAE Projects

Plywood is valued for its adaptability across various sectors:

Residential interiors: wardrobes, beds, cabinets, shelves

Commercial spaces: offices, retail stores, restaurants

Construction: partitions, formwork, sub-structures

Hospitality projects: hotels, serviced apartments, resorts

Its ability to perform well in both functional and decorative applications makes plywood one of the most trusted materials in the region.

Advantages of Choosing Plywood from Sanco

At Sanco, we focus on delivering plywood that meets UAE quality expectations and industry standards.

✔ High Strength & Durability

Our plywood is engineered for long-term performance, ensuring structural stability even in demanding environments.

✔ Smooth Finish for Better Aesthetics

Sanco plywood provides a uniform surface, ideal for laminates, veneers, and paint finishes.

✔ Versatile Applications

Suitable for furniture, interiors, and commercial fit-outs, our plywood supports a wide range of design needs.

✔ Cost-Effective & Reliable

We balance quality and affordability, helping contractors and designers achieve excellent results within budget.

How to Choose the Right Plywood in the UAE

When selecting plywood for your project, consider:

Area of use (interior, furniture, moisture-prone areas)

Required thickness and strength

Finish and design requirements

Quality of bonding and core material

Choosing the right plywood ensures durability, safety, and long-term value.

Why Sanco Is a Trusted Plywood Supplier

With a commitment to quality and consistency, Sanco has become a trusted name for plywood solutions. Our products are designed to support modern construction, furniture manufacturing, and interior design needs across the UAE.

Whether you are a contractor, interior designer, or furniture manufacturer, Sanco plywood delivers the performance and reliability your projects demand.

Conclusion

Plywood remains an essential material for construction and interiors in the UAE due to its strength, versatility, and cost efficiency. By choosing Sanco plywood, you invest in quality materials that enhance durability, design, and long-term performance.

Melamine MDF: The Preferred Panel Board for Modern Interiors in the UAE

The UAE’s construction and interior design industry is evolving rapidly, with a strong demand for materials that combine durability, aesthetics, and cost-efficiency. Among the most searched and widely used engineered wood products today is melamine MDF. From residential villas to commercial fit-outs, melamine MDF has become a top choice for designers, contractors, and furniture manufacturers across the UAE.

At Sanco, we supply high-quality melamine MDF boards designed to meet the performance and design expectations of modern UAE projects.

What Is Melamine MDF?

Melamine MDF is medium-density fiberboard that is finished with a melamine resin-impregnated decorative surface. This surface gives the board a smooth, hard, and ready-to-use finish, eliminating the need for additional painting or laminating.

Because of its clean appearance and consistent quality, melamine MDF is one of the most preferred panel boards for interior applications in the UAE.

Why Melamine MDF Is in High Demand in the UAE

Melamine MDF ranks among the most searched wood panel materials in the UAE due to its suitability for local construction and interior needs.

1. Ideal for Modern UAE Interiors

UAE homes and commercial spaces favor sleek, contemporary designs. Melamine MDF offers a wide range of wood-grain, matte, glossy, and solid color finishes, making it ideal for modern interiors.

1. Cost-Effective Alternative to Solid Wood

Compared to solid wood, melamine MDF provides similar aesthetics at a more affordable price, making it popular for large-scale residential and commercial projects.

1. Consistent Quality for Large Projects

Unlike natural wood, melamine MDF has uniform density and thickness, ensuring consistent performance across large installations such as hotels, offices, and retail spaces.

1. Low Maintenance

The melamine surface resists stains, scratches, and daily wear, making it suitable for high-use environments common in UAE homes and businesses.

Most Popular Uses of Melamine MDF in the UAE

Based on market demand and search trends, these are the top applications of melamine MDF in the UAE:

Kitchen Cabinets & Cupboards

Melamine MDF is widely used for kitchen cabinets due to its smooth finish, easy cleaning, and resistance to daily wear.

Wardrobes & Bedroom Furniture

Built-in wardrobes and bedroom storage units in UAE apartments and villas often use melamine MDF for its clean appearance and durability.

Office & Commercial Fit-Outs

Corporate offices, coworking spaces, and retail outlets rely on melamine MDF for desks, shelving, partitions, and storage units.

Interior Wall Panels & Decorative Elements

Melamine MDF is commonly used for TV units, wall cladding, and decorative panels, adding elegance without heavy costs.

Melamine MDF vs Plywood: What UAE Buyers Prefer

One of the most searched comparisons in the UAE is melamine MDF vs plywood.

Melamine MDF: Best for interior furniture, cabinets, wardrobes, and decorative applications where appearance matters.

Plywood: Better suited for structural strength and moisture-prone areas.

For modern interior projects, many UAE designers prefer melamine MDF for visible surfaces and plywood for structural support.

Why Choose Sanco Melamine MDF?

At Sanco, our melamine MDF boards are manufactured to meet the expectations of UAE contractors, interior designers, and furniture manufacturers.

✔ High-quality MDF core with durable melamine surface ✔ Wide selection of colors, textures, and finishes ✔ Suitable for residential, commercial, and hospitality projects ✔ Reliable supply for small and large-scale requirements

Our melamine MDF solutions combine style, performance, and value, making them a trusted choice for interior projects across the UAE.

Conclusion

Melamine MDF has become one of the most in-demand panel boards in the UAE due to its versatility, modern appearance, and cost efficiency. Whether for kitchens, wardrobes, offices, or commercial interiors, it offers a perfect balance of functionality and design.

De journalist Philip Heymans bericht dat Vanaf vandaag: gratis hulp van een advocaat voor slachtoffers van verkrachting of partnergeweld Te mooi om waar te zijn denk je ? Wij namen onmiddellijk contact op met de Zorgcentra na Seksueel Geweld waar men het in Keulen hoort donderen ! En, voor de zekerheid staken we onze neus in de “Wet betreffende de Zorgcentra na Seksueel Geweld” …

even terug gaan in de tijd

In het regeerakkoord van 30 september 2020 stond dat de toegang tot justitie zou worden verbeterd:

De werking van justitie moet efficiënter, toegankelijker en begrijpelijker worden gemaakt.

De regering zal ook de mogelijkheden evalueren om de toegang en de kwaliteit van de juridische bijstand voor kwetsbare bevolkingsgroepen die met een veelheid aan juridische en sociale problemen worden geconfronteerd, te verbeteren. Hiervoor wordt gekeken naar een transversale en multidisciplinaire aanpak. Er zijn tevens pilootprojecten mogelijk.

Pas in de naweeën van de docu reeks Godvergeten werd een eerste pilootproject LVA – Lawyer Victim Assistance – opgestart op 13 november 2023. Het project liep eerst tot 13 mei 2024.

De brochure legt uit dat:

Een advocaat van dienst, speciaal opgeleid voor gevallen van intrafamiliaal en/of seksueel geweld, zal aan u worden toegewezen. Indien gewenst, zal hij binnen 48 uur contact met u opnemen om een afspraak in zijn kantoor te regelen.

Terzelfdertijd werd onderzoek gevoerd door Emma Bourcelet onder de bevoegdheid van het Instituut voor de gelijkheid van vrouwen en mannen.

Op 2 februari 2024 stuurt Staatssecretaris Marie-Colline Leroy een perscommuniqué de wereld in: “Lawyer Victim Assistance (LVA): project ter verbetering van de zorg voor slachtoffers van seksueel en intrafamiliaal geweld”.

Het rapport van de POC 2023 werd afgeleverd op 3 mei 2024, en zegt met betrekking tot juridische bijstand:

Juridisch advies van advocaat na tussenkomst politie.

Het “Lawyer Victim Assistance”-proefproject is een samenwerking in Brussel tussen politie, parket en advocaten van de Brusselse balie om slachtoffers beter te informeren over hun rechten. Verschillende advocaten van de Brusselse balie hebben zich geëngageerd om slachtoffers van seksueel en huiselijk geweld gratis bij te staan bij een eerste consult. Wanneer de politie met een slachtoffer van seksueel en/of huiselijk geweld in contact komt, dan wordt het slachtoffer een formulier overhandigd met de contactgegevens van een advocaat.

Die advocaat neemt vervolgens binnen de 48 uur contact op, waarna er een gratis gesprek wordt aangeboden op kantoor en het slachtoffer de nodige juridische bijstand kan vragen. Enkel het eerste gesprek is gratis.

Aanbeveling 93:

Na een positieve evaluatie van het “Lawyer Victim Assistance”-proefproject de mogelijkheid onderzoeken om het project breder uit te rollen in heel België zodat een slachtoffer van seksueel geweld binnen de 48 uur een gesprek met een advocaat heeft en indien nodig juridische bijstand kan vragen. De nodige middelen dienen hiervoor vrijgemaakt te worden. Er moet onderzocht worden of dat project kan worden doorgetrokken naar de mogelijke “permanentie” in de Zorgcentra na Seksueel Geweld (zie supra, luik 1, hoofdstuk 2, § 3).

Ook in mei 2024 wordt het LVA project een eerste keer verlengd tot 13 november 2024 zodat het onderzoek onder de bevoegdheid van het IGVM verder kan lopen.

In november 2024 kwam het LVA onderzoek eindrapport”) ter beschikking van de bevoegde doch in lopende zaken Staatssecretaris Leroy.

Een nieuwe regering komt aan zet. Het regeerakkoord van de regering De Wever die op 3 februari 2025 van start gaat zegt:

“We zorgen dat slachtoffers van ernstige geweldsdelicten en zedenfeiten beroep kunnen doen op algemene bijstand door een advocaat zowel voor als tijdens hun verhoor. Er wordt een systeem van permanentie georganiseerd binnen de advocatuur, zodat deze slachtoffers, 24/7 de nodige gespecialiseerde juridische ondersteuning kunnen krijgen.”

In april 2025, 6 maanden na het rapport van november 2024, heeft het Team Zorgcentra na Seksueel Geweld binnen het IGVM het raden naar wat het kabinet van de dan bevoegde minister Rob Beenders uiteindelijk van plan is.

In juni 2025 laat het kabinet Rob Beenders weten dat:

“Samen met de deelstaten zullen we verder analyseren hoe we kunnen evolueren naar een toegankelijke, duurzame en structureel verankerde procedure voor rechtsbijstand, afgestemd op de noden van slachtoffers van gendergerelateerd geweld.”

Ondertussen werd het LVA project verlengd, en verlengd, en blijft men lovend over de geneugten van het project … Zoals in november 2025 bijvoorbeeld word gerapporteerd dat er een verdubbeling van de hulp via het LVA project zou zijn geweest tussen 2024 en 2025.

de LVA vandaag

Dat het LVA wordt gecoördineerd door een in seksueel geweld op minderjarigen gespecialiseerde peperdure top advocaat die bij laatste controle in 2024 geen prodeo dossiers meer aannam heeft wellicht een voordeel.

Men mag echter niet vergeten wat de belangen van de Orde van Vlaamse Balies zijn. Financiële en machtsbelangen die niet onbesproken zijn wanneer het gaat om voor de minstbedeelden juridische bijstand te faciliteren … Ter herinnering torpedeert de OVB momenteel met een SLAPP een ander proefproject door bij het Grondwettelijk Hof te beweren dat de economische belangen van de Vlaamse advocaten niet beholpen worden …

Het artikel en de attentie bij de openbare omroep heeft meer weg van een misplaatste imago-opsmuk stunt, want …

De ZGS zeggen ons vandaag

Wij namen contact op met de ZSG van Antwerpen, Gent, Leuven, en Roeselare. Zij hoorden het unisono in Keulen donderen.

Jawel, zij smeken dat er onmiddellijk gespecialiseerde juridische bijstand zou zijn nog voor enige politie of procureur eraan te pas zou komen. Jawel, zij weten dat er onderzoek werd gevoerd naar het LVA. Jawel, zij weten dat … Maar neen, een advocaat op vandaag komt er bij de ZSG niet aan te pas, zij moeten bij wet slachtoffers doorverwijzen naar de eerstelijnsbijstand.

Jullie lezen dat goed, naar de eerstelijnsbijstand. Niet naar de tweedelijnsbijstand, niet naar een lijst van advocaten die een speciale opleiding zouden hebben genoten, niet naar een advocaat die gespecialiseerd is in seksueel geweld op minderjarigen, enz. Zij moeten bij wet slachtoffers doorverwijzen naar de eerstelijnsbijstand, want de “Wet betreffende de Zorgcentra na Seksueel Geweld” zegt in haar artikel 14 § 3 3°:

§ 1. Naast de gebruikelijke multidisciplinaire zorg, verleent het ziekenhuis op de ZSG-afdeling aan slachtoffers van acuut en post-acuut seksueel geweld minimaal de volgende diensten op ambulante wijze: […] 4° slachtofferbegeleiding zoals bepaald in artikel 2, 19° ; […] § 3. Ter uitvoering van de in § 1, 4°, bedoelde slachtofferbegeleiding contacteert de ZSG-verpleegkundige op regelmatige tijdstippen het slachtoffer van acuut seksueel geweld of post-acuut seksueel geweld of diens vertegenwoordiger, of mits de uitdrukkelijke en expliciete toestemming van het wilsbekwame slachtoffer, de steunfiguur van het slachtoffer, met onder meer de volgende doelstellingen: […] 3° de doorverwijzing naar de diensten voor juridische eerstelijnsbijstand.

Zoals eenieder kan vaststellen in justel is de wet op de ZSG tot op vandaag niet aangepast, en zijn er ook geen uitvoeringsbesluiten in de zin van wat in de pers verscheen. Laat staan dat OCMW's of andere dienstverleners toegang zouden hebben tot een lijst van advocaten gespecialiseerd in juridische ondersteuning van minderjarige slachtoffers van seksueel geweld en hun naasten.

Wij zouden ons alvast van zo'n lijst verheugen, en onmiddellijk publiceren.

de LVA ervaring van slachtoffers

Zoals jullie weten voeren wij momenteel een onderzoek naar hoe jullie juridische bijstand bij seksueel geweld op minderjarigen (hebben) ervaren.

Zonder vooruit te lopen op de resultaten, weten wij dat binnen het LVA ernstige tekortkomingen kunnen opduiken. Advocaten die niet samenzitten met slachtoffers om een vonnis of beslissing uit te leggen, advocaten die weigeren van de juridische tweedelijnsbijstand aan te vragen omdat er te veel werk is voor een prodeo tarief, enz.

Wij doen dan ook nogmaals een warme oproep om onze doelbewust laagdrempelig gehouden vragen zelfs anoniem te beantwoorden.

Mocht je via het LVA bijstand willen bekomen, bereik je hen als volgt:

• SMS of voicemail op het nummer 0478/115 488 (beste keus)
• de franstalige orde van advocaten Brussel via het email adres LVA@barreaudebruxelles.be
• de nederlandstalige orde van advocaten Brussel via het email adres LVA@baliebrussel.be

Je vind de hopeloos verouderde en al sinds 2023 niet geüpdate lijst van advocaten hier.

Op deze lijst zal je merken dat er slechts 1 enkele Nederlandstalige advocaat prodeo optreedt optrad in strafdossiers, en er geen onderscheid wordt gemaakt voor de specifieke rechtsmaterie seksueel geweld op minderjarigen.

Dat er nood is aan echt gespecialiseerde advocaten blijkt uit het feit dat vandaag een aangifte van seksueel geweld op minderjarigen nog steeds wordt aanzien als partnerwraak wanneer er vroeg of laat een echtscheiding van komt. In dergelijk geval gaat het openbaar ministerie, de procureur, er automatisch van uit dat het om een burgerrechtelijk probleem gaat dat via de familierechtbank maar moet worden beslecht in plaats van een strafrechtelijk probleem dat de procureur aanbelangt.

Justitie blijft fouten maken, en slachtoffers blijven in de kou. Immers, het tegendeel is meestal waar. Een echtscheiding wanneer er sprake is van seksueel geweld op minderjarigen wordt meestal ingezet omdat er een gebrek aan bescherming en ondersteuning van de slachtoffers is.

Waar is dan die gespecialiseerde juridische ondersteuning? Op vandaag? Nergens te bespeuren !!

Many people I know and respect still use X, and I can't figure out why.

In January of 2025, I walked away from X after Elon Musk's Nazi salutes.

I went to Bluesky, but after the initial migration of millions of people, the platform fell flat for me – and I've stopped using it for the most part.

Truth be told, I missed the old Twitter. So, I started to use it again around November 2025 to keep up to date with my interests. I intereacted with some folks but mostly just kept to myself, evaluating whether I'd stay.

I soon got my answer, as it wasn't long until I was reminded why I left in the first place.

I've shut it back down for good.

Friends Still Using It

I know for a fact that many of my friends are still using X daily simply for the engagement.

For those whom I know are Democrats or anti-Trump/Musk, this deeply confuses me. I don't understand why, or how, they can continue to use it. Sure, they've built a following (I also did after a decade of use), but are bot followers really worth showing support for a Nazi?

Because let's be clear: continuing to use X means that Musk's actions do not bother you, or at least not enough to walk away.

An Analogy

Let's say you like to go to your local farmer's market to buy fresh produce. As you walk through the market, there are several farmers selling fruits and vegetables. Out of habit, you always go to the tent of Farmer John.

Farmer John has good produce. Some of it is rotten, but not all the time. The helping hands at the tent are friendly, and you know each other on a first-name basis at this point. You enjoy supporting Farmer John because you like the experience of going to his tent, and you've known him for years.

Then one day, you hear that Farmer John was at a local farmer's gathering and gave not just one, but two Nazi salutes.

“It can't be,” you think to yourself. But you go online, and sure enough, you see him give a salute, turn around, wait a second, and give another salute to the people behind him.

You're not a neo-Nazi, and everything you know about them makes you sick. It's not who you are at your core.

The next week, you go to the farmer's market. You see Farmer John's tent, and right next to it, Farmer Bill's tent. His tent has fewer people, but more or less the same produce. As you walk closer, you have a decision to make. Do you shop at Farmer John's? Or do you get the same produce right next to his tent?

The Dilemma

Look, I also understand the dilemma this creates. For some, X is how they market their products and services (and it works). Leaving it means cutting off a portion of their income stream.

For others that are more politically involved, they feel it is important to stay on the platform to counter the far-right rhetoric.

You Have Other Options

I'll be honest: there is no X replacement, and that's the hard part. It's probably why many people stick around. Engagement across the topics is still very good (not just politics), and you can effectively create filters so that you don't see any political news.

As of today, the major options are:

• Bluesky – It's very active politically, but not the greatest for business or professional topics. The user experience is the closest to Twitter that I've come across. It's pretty good for sharing images, similar to Instagram. Check out the Flashes App. I don't use it much anymore because interaction on topics I care about is virtually zero.

• Mastodon – Very active in the political landscape, but also in things like open-source software, privacy, security, photography, and more. It's harder to find your niche, but the community is pretty cool. The problem is that the experience isn't as intuitive. I use the free Elk app on my web browser, and the Mona app on my phone to improve the UI. Interaction is pretty good as well, but it does feel a bit more impersonal at times.

• Threads – If you don't mind using another Zuckerberg product, then Threads might be a viable option. I've read mixed reviews. Some say it's toxic in ways similar to X, while others enjoy the experience. I've never used it, so I can't say first-hand. I'm staying away because I already use FB, IG, and WhatsApp and I can't stomach more Zuckerberg in my life.

• LinkedIn – I like it a lot for posts related to my professional areas of interest, like edtech and e-learning . I've been posting a a lot more on these topics, and I'm getting some solid engagement, having interesting conversations, and connecting with like-minded people. I think it has had a bit of a resurgance in the past couple of years given what has happened on X as I know some people, like me, who migrated to it.

Your Actions Speak Loudly

At the end of the day, if you're still using X, then please know that you're voting in favor of the platform and Musk with your time, the most precious resource that you have.

It may seem like quitting X is too hard. Maybe you'd lose money (temporarily). Or perhaps you are sticking around because of habit. Or, you see someone you respect, and they are still using it, so you figure it's not so bad that you're using it too.

I didn't want to leave X, but I felt like I had to. I promise, it's not as hard as you think on the other side.

#personal

Go Hoosiers!

The ladies are providing us a “Sunday Matinee.” This afternoon's women's college basketball game will feature the Northwestern Wildcats arriving at Bloomington's Assembly Hall to play our Indiana University Hoosiers. I will have my radio tuned into B97 – The Home for IU Women's Basketball early enough to catch the Pregame Show followed by the call of the game.

And the adventure continues.

Stay entertained thanks to our Weekly Tracker giving you next week's Anticipated Movies & Shows, Most Watched & Returning Favorites, and Shows Changes & Popular Trailers.

Anticipated Movies

• Nightmare City
• 100 Nights of Hero
• Solo Mio
• Whistle
• Riley
• ☆ The Strangers: Chapter 3
• Kraken

Anticipated and Returning Shows

No anticipated TV show or returning favorite this week. They’re probably hiding for next week 😏

Trending Shows Status Changes

• Steal — Returning Series → Ended
• Wonder Man — Returning Series → Ended
• Free Bert — Ended → Returning Series

Most Watched Movies this Week

• new Anaconda
• new Greenland 2: Migration
• -2 The Rip
• +1 Zootopia 2
• new The Wrecking Crew
• -4 Predator: Badlands
• = Sinners
• -5 Rental Family
• -5 One Battle After Another
• -2 Bugonia

Most Watched Shows this Week

• = Fallout
• new A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
• = The Pitt
• +1 The Rookie
• -1 High Potential
• new Hijack
• new The Night Manager
• new Wonder Man
• -2 Star Trek: Starfleet Academy
• -8 Landman

Popular Trailers

• Work Lite — Send Help
• In Cinemas February 11 — GOAT
• Stunning — Rental Family
• Season 2 Episode 5 Preview — The Pitt
• Video — One Battle After Another
• The Final Season: Official Trailer — Outlander
• “Did you hear about Wonder Man?” — Wonder Man
• Video — Shelter
• Fandom Wire Review — Primate
• Video — No Other Choice

---

Hi, I'm Kevin 👋. I make apps and I love watching movies and TV shows. If you like what I'm doing, you can buy one of my apps, download and subscribe to Rippple for Trakt or just buy me a ko-fi ☕️.

---

Within a day of receiving a most enviable introduction for THE SOLAR GRID, a potential agent—who's had the manuscript sitting on her desktop for several months now—finally wrote back to tell me she wasn't sure she could agent it because the book isn't mainstream enough. She is of course absolutely right, and I as a matter of fact take her assessment as a compliment. My “idols” have, after all, never been mainstream. Although many have managed to become largely mainstream despite their material being anything but. There's Crumb, Alan Moore, Philip K. Dick, Hunter S. Thompson, and Burroughs to name but a few. Even Vonnegut started out as a fringe writer.

This puts me in the less-than-ideal position of having to agent the work myself, as I'd like the book to exist out in the wild for readers to discover beyond my limited reach.

I was chatting with members of a grant-giving body a few days ago about another potential book project. One of them said, “So you're writing, drawing, and designing it?” To which I nodded. “Wow, one-man show,” she said.

Not gonna lie, I'm a little tired of this whole one-man show business. The thought of working on the material while other better-positioned folks take care of getting it out there strikes me as very appealing, but it does seem to be insistently elusive for one reason or another.

Today I order chicken and make some soup in an attempt to rid my body of whatever new plague has infected me.

Today's soundtrack is a combination of cafe chatter (played via my phone) and Persian jazz (played via my laptop).

#journal #work #tsg

By M's dad

Documenting institutional failure and abuse in parental alienation cases

---

Part 1: Why This Blog Exists

I am a father who lost his son.

Not to death. Not to distance. To a system that was supposed to protect us both.

For nearly a decade, I fought in South African family courts to maintain a relationship with my child, M. Over those years, five independent experts examined our situation. Clinical psychologists. Social workers. The Office of the Family Advocate. They all documented the same pattern: systematic parental alienation by M's mother.

The experts agreed. The evidence was clear. The diagnosis was established.

Then, in 2020, a single therapist was appointed to facilitate family reintegration. She was supposed to help us heal.

Instead of building on years of documented findings, she dismissed them entirely. Called parental alienation “not real.” Referred to the case history as “clutter” to be “locked away.” Created conditions that made reconnection impossible.

When I filed a 23-point complaint with the Health Professions Council of South Africa, backed by transcripts, emails, and corroborating expert letters, they dismissed it in two sentences.

I lost my son twice. Once to the alienating parent. Once to the professionals who enabled her.

---

What This Blog Documents

This is not a blog about my pain. Though there is plenty of that.

This is a case file. An evidence-based examination of how:

A professional dismissed established expert consensus without scientific basis. A regulatory body failed to hold her accountable despite documented misconduct. Systems designed to protect families instead perpetuated harm.

Every claim here is documented. I have transcripts. I have expert reports. I have the HPCSA's own correspondence. I quote directly and cite specifically.

---

Why Anonymity

I write as “M's dad” and refer to my son as “M” for several reasons.

To protect M. He may one day want to understand what happened. This record will exist for him.

To focus on the system, not personalities. This is bigger than my case.

To speak freely. Alienated parents are often silenced by fear of further retaliation.

The facts speak for themselves. My identity doesn't change them.

---

Who Should Read This

Parents navigating high-conflict custody, to recognize warning signs.

Legal professionals, to understand how therapeutic interventions can fail.

Policymakers, to see how regulatory bodies protect practitioners over patients.

Anyone who believes accountability matters.

---

What Comes Next

In the following parts, I document:

Part 2: How one therapist dismissed eight years of expert findings

Part 3: How the HPCSA dismissed a detailed complaint with documented evidence

Part 4: The therapeutic trap that made reconciliation impossible

This is the case file. Read it. Judge for yourself.

---

Part 2: The Experts Agreed. Then One Didn't.

Eight Years of Consensus

Between 2012 and 2021, five independent experts examined our family situation.

Ms. Lynn Foster, clinical psychologist, in 2012. Mr. Dennis Stigant, clinical psychologist, in 2013 and again in 2015. Ms. Jacqui Makowem, clinical psychologist, from 2019 to 2020. Ms. Madeleine van Vuuren, family counsellor, in 2020. Mr. Mark Eaton, clinical psychologist, in 2021.

Their conclusion was consistent: systematic parental alienation by M's mother was causing M to reject his father.

---

What They Found

Ms. Lynn Foster was the first to sound the alarm. In November 2012, she expressed “fear of parental alienation.” She documented an incident where M repeated an allegation “without any change in outward expression, showing no anxiety.” A child describing something he'd experienced would show emotion. M recited a script.

Mr. Dennis Stigant saw the pattern developing. He warned that comments made by or near M's mother were forming a “negative impression” in M's mind. His exact words: “In this way a parent becomes alienated from their child.” By 2015, he found the emotional bond between father and son was “virtually non-existent” due to “residual effects from parent alienation.”

Ms. Jacqui Makowem found “clear indications” that M's mother's views were “impacting on and alienating M from his father.” She noted M's mother “did not support the development of a healthy relationship.” Most telling: M could not cite any alarming behavior by his father to justify his rejection. The rejection was induced. Not experiential.

The Office of the Family Advocate and Ms. Van Vuuren confirmed what everyone else had seen. M's mother harbored “entrenched negative views” significantly contributing to alienation. “Destructive information” was shared in M's presence. Their report explicitly stated: “Parental alienation was identified during previous assessments of the family.”

Mr. Mark Eaton, reviewing the full history, summarized the “composite of multiple professional evaluations” as showing “persistence of detrimental parental alienation by M's mom.”

Five experts. Eight years. One consistent finding.

---

Then Shannon Eckley Was Appointed

In 2020, Shannon Eckley was appointed to facilitate family reintegration. To help repair the relationship that alienation had damaged.

Instead, she dismantled the entire diagnostic framework.

---

What She Said

It was a Thursday afternoon. February 27th, 2021. A joint session. M's mother was present.

And then Eckley said it.

“Parental alienation isn't real.”

Those were her words. She continued: “Parental alienation is the concept outside. But it can never break a relationship if a relationship is strong.”

She called parental alienation “a label the lawyers had decided to use.”

When I asked her to define parental alienation, she couldn't. No academic definition. No clinical framework. She lacked expertise in the very condition she was appointed to treat.

---

The “Clutter” Doctrine

She dismissed eight years of documented expert findings with a single word.

Clutter.

In a diagram she presented, she referred to the case history as “Clutter” which should be ignored because it “no longer applies to the here-and-now.” Mr. Mark Eaton documented this in his letter to the therapists.

When I attempted to raise the context of the alienation, she shut me down.

“Your history is your history. We can't keep going back to the past.”

Eight years of professional findings. Five independent experts. Clutter.

---

Refusal to Consult

She initially agreed, in writing, to consult with the previous therapist, Ms. Jacqui Makowem. To understand the background. To build on existing work.

She reneged. Decided such a meeting was “unhelpful or unnecessary.”

The Family Advocate had specifically recommended that the new therapeutic team familiarize themselves with the case history. Eckley ignored this. She would start fresh. With a clean slate. As if nothing had happened before.

---

The Core Problem

A single therapist cannot override multi-expert consensus by assertion alone.

Professional standards require that when a practitioner enters an established case, they must review prior assessments. Engage with the documented history. Consult with previous professionals. Provide evidence-based justification for any deviation from established findings.

Shannon Eckley did none of these.

She simply declared the diagnosis “not real” and proceeded as if eight years of expert work didn't exist.

---

Who Benefits?

M's mother walked out of that session validated. No intervention required. Emboldened by statements made in her presence. A therapist had just told her, in front of me, that parental alienation wasn't real.

In that same session, M's mother said she told M: “You cannot feel guilty if you have made your decision with a clear conscience.”

He was ten years old.

That's what she said. To a ten-year-old. About his “decision” never to see his father again.

She wasn't comforting a child through a difficult situation. She was sealing it. Removing the guilt that might one day lead him back. And Eckley sat there and let it happen.

M remained trapped. Left in psychological crisis with loyalty conflicts unaddressed. The diagnosis that explained his suffering was erased. No treatment could follow.

I sat there paying for a process that actively erased me. Funding my own disappearance from my son's life.

---

Unequivocal Conclusion

Shannon Eckley's dismissal was professionally indefensible.

No scientific basis. She provided no peer-reviewed evidence. No alternative diagnosis that explains the documented pattern. Only assertion.

Violated standard of care. Refusing to consult prior professionals and dismissing established findings as “clutter” is not a difference of opinion. It's abandonment of professional responsibility.

Created harm, not healing. Her approach validated the alienator, pathologized the victim, and left the child in crisis.

One therapist's ideological rejection of a documented phenomenon does not erase reality.

---

Part 3: 23 Allegations, Two Sentences

The Complaint

On 28 June 2021, I filed a formal complaint with the Health Professions Council of South Africa against Shannon Eckley.

23 specific points of misconduct. Four categories. Substantial documentation.

---

Category 1: Professional Negligence

She dismissed Family Advocate reports and eight years of expert findings as “clutter.”

She called parental alienation “a label the lawyers decided to use.”

She could not define parental alienation when asked.

She reneged on her written undertaking to consult the previous therapist.

---

Category 2: Ethical Breaches

The Broken Tablet

She recorded sessions on a Samsung tablet with verbal consent. When I requested copies, she claimed the tablet had “crashed beyond repair.”

Modern devices back up automatically to the cloud. The claim strains credibility. It suggests either deliberate evidence destruction or failure to comply with the Protection of Personal Information Act regarding data security.

Confidentiality Breaches

She admitted to discussing intimate details of private patients with her GP.

She disclosed another child's suicide to me during our sessions. A child named Tom. This was a clear violation of patient confidentiality.

Defamation

She stated that her colleague Wesley Kew, who had been helping me and M try bond, as using questionable techniques. “He had been reported to the HPCSA many times.”

Then she paused.

“I've said too much.”

---

Category 3: Psychological Abuse

She falsely accused me in writing of breaking a court order regarding asking my son to play cricket at his school's nets to reconnect. She had previously agreed it was a “wonderful idea.” Cricket. In the school nets. Turned into something sinister. No such court order existed. A fabrication. Another victim blaming narrative.

She framed the Family Advocate's legal recommendation as a “threat” by me.

The recommendation was for M to attend Grey Junior Hostel, the school's boarding facility. It came from Family Advocate Marisa Du Toit and Family Counsellor Mrs. Van Vuuren. M's teachers endorsed it. Mr. Miles Maxwell, his Grade 4 teacher, said it would “enhance Michael's academics” and provide “consistency.” Mr. Karl van der Marwitz called M a “good candidate,” noting he had “isolated himself a little.”

The hostel was described as “known and neutral ground” that would “invoke less anxiety” than direct placement with his father.

Shannon Eckley crossed it out in red ink on a diagram.

She called it a “threat.”

She said enforcing it would “mark the end of any future relationship between father and son.”

A clinical recommendation became my weapon. In one stroke of red ink.

She also displayed gender bias. She claimed fathers cannot bond as strongly as mothers because mothers “carry them in their womb.” I needed to understand my place and position in life to have any chance of “future success”.

---

Category 4: Evidence Submitted

I submitted substantial documentation.

A transcript of the 27 February 2021 session, from my own recording, where she explicitly stated “parental alienation isn't real.”

Emails proving she agreed then refused to consult the previous therapist.

Letters from Mark Eaton correcting her terminology errors and documenting her refusal to meet with him.

Family Advocate reports proving the alienation history she dismissed.

---

The Response

The letter arrived in March 2022.

Nine months of waiting. Twenty-three allegations. Transcript evidence. Emails. Expert letters.

Two paragraphs.

---

The Decision: Dismissed

The entire reasoning:

“The Psychology Committee of the Preliminary Inquiry resolved that the practitioner's explanation be noted and accepted.”

Two justifications.

First: “There was no evidence of unprofessional conduct and no evidence of bias from the communication that was shared with the client.”

The transcript where she said “parental alienation isn't real”? Not evidence.

Second: “There was no formal report that was written because the client prevented the practitioner from completing the assessment.”

Read that again.

I prevented her.

I stopped paying for sessions where I was being erased. And they used that against me.

They advised me that if I was aggrieved, my only recourse was a High Court judicial review under Section 20 of the Health Professions Act.

---

Why This Is Indefensible

They Ignored the Transcript

I submitted a transcript. In it, Eckley explicitly states “Parental alienation isn't real.”

This isn't interpretation. It's a direct quote. A practitioner denying a documented condition she was appointed to treat.

How is this “no evidence of bias”?

They Used a Victim-Blaming Technicality

The “no formal report” excuse creates a perverse incentive.

Behave badly enough that clients withdraw. Then claim immunity because there's no final report.

I terminated the process because of her misconduct. I was paying for a service that was actively harming my case. The HPCSA used my reasonable response to her failures as a shield for those failures.

They Didn't Address Specific Allegations

The response ignored:

The “broken tablet” data destruction allegation.

The confidentiality breaches.

The defamation of a colleague.

The failure to consult the previous therapist despite written undertaking.

The inability to define parental alienation.

All ignored.

They Shifted the Burden to the Victim

A High Court judicial review requires legal representation. More fees. Months or years of additional litigation. Fighting institutions instead of seeing my son. Resources I no longer had after a decade of family court.

Meanwhile, the practitioner continues practicing. Free to harm other families.

---

What Repercussions Should Exist

License suspension pending investigation. Evidence of substantive misconduct requires immediate action.

Formal disciplinary hearing. She must answer to specific allegations under oath.

Mandatory retraining. Demonstrated ignorance of parental alienation requires education.

Practice restrictions. Prohibition from high-conflict custody cases.

Civil liability. She was paid to facilitate reintegration. She dismissed the established diagnosis. Created conditions that made reintegration impossible. Contributed to the permanent destruction of a father-child relationship.

That's actionable negligence.

Criminal consideration. If the “broken tablet” was deliberate evidence destruction: obstruction of justice, POPI violations, potential fraud.

---

On the HPCSA's Failure

The HPCSA exists to protect the public.

When they dismiss a 23-point complaint backed by transcripts, emails, and corroborating expert letters with a two-sentence technicality, they are not protecting the public.

They are protecting their members.

This isn't a regulatory body functioning as intended. This is professional self-protection masquerading as process.

---

Part 4: The Paradox Trap

How Therapy Became a Weapon

Shannon Eckley was appointed to facilitate family reintegration. To help repair my relationship with M after years of documented alienation.

Instead, she created a therapeutic framework that made reconciliation structurally impossible.

---

The Reframing

Having discarded the alienation diagnosis, Eckley needed an alternative explanation. Why did M reject his father despite no documented cause?

Her answer: trauma.

She diagnosed M with a generalized “freeze response.” A biological state of shutdown triggered by stress. She read to me from a generic trauma text.

“The stress response is a survival response. He's moved past fight or flight. He's moved into freeze.”

This reframing had a specific consequence.

---

The Trap

If M's rejection is caused by “trauma” rather than alienation, then any action I take becomes pathological.

If I reach out to connect, I'm “pressuring” and causing more trauma. Alienation continues.

If I wait passively, I'm absent, the relationship atrophies. Alienation continues.

If I try to parent, I'm “retraumatizing” the child. Alienation continues.

If I do nothing, I'm fulfilling the alienator's narrative. Alienation continues.

There is no winning move.

Eckley advised me to have “no expectations.” Simply tell M “I miss you” without expecting a reply. Potentially for “20 weeks” or longer.

This isn't therapy.

This is institutionalized erasure dressed up as patience.

---

The Paradox Explained

The trap works because it's unfalsifiable.

If M remains distant, it's because I'm still “causing trauma.”

If I back off, M's distance “proves” there's no relationship.

If I point out the paradox, I'm “not accepting my part in the trauma.”

If M's mother continues alienating behavior, it goes unaddressed because “we're focused on the here-and-now.”

The only person who cannot cause harm in this framework is the alienating parent. Her behavior, documented by five experts over eight years, is invisible. The history is “clutter.”

---

Who Created This Paradox?

This trap didn't emerge from M's psychology. It was constructed by a therapist who:

Denied the established diagnosis. Alienation.

Substituted an unfalsifiable alternative. Trauma. Freeze.

Made all father-initiated contact pathological. Retraumatizing.

Made passivity equally destructive. Abandonment.

Removed the alienator from scrutiny. Focus on “here-and-now.”

The paradox is not an unfortunate side effect. It is the logical consequence of denying alienation while still needing to explain a child's rejection.

---

The Financial Exhaustion Strategy

There's another dimension to this trap.

Every session costs money. Every report. Every expert consultation. After a decade of litigation, I was financially exhausted. M's mother knew this. Perhaps Eckley did too.

The “20 weeks of patience” strategy has a hidden function.

It runs out the clock.

While I waited with “no expectations,” paying for sessions that produced no progress, my resources depleted. My relationship with M remained frozen. The alienation deepened. M's mother's position strengthened.

By the time it became clear the therapy was failing, I had nothing left. I couldn't afford to start over with a new therapist. I couldn't afford a High Court challenge to the HPCSA dismissal. I couldn't afford to keep fighting.

I withdrew to protect my mental health and financial solvency.

The system didn't just fail to reunite me with my son. It consumed everything I had in the process.

---

What Should Have Happened

Legitimate family reintegration therapy after documented alienation requires:

Acknowledgment of the diagnosis. You cannot treat what you deny.

Accountability for the alienating parent. The source of harm must be addressed.

Structured, assertive reunification. Passive waiting entrenches alienation.

Protection of the targeted parent. The victim should not fund their own erasure.

Continuity with prior professionals. Build on existing work. Don't discard it.

Eckley provided none of these. She inverted the framework. Denied the diagnosis. Ignored the alienator. Advised passivity. Depleted the victim. Dismissed the experts.

---

The Result

In 2021, I ceased contact with M.

Not because I stopped loving him. Not because I gave up on him. But because I could not continue paying, financially, emotionally, psychologically, for a process designed to erase me.

The alienation was documented by five experts. The therapy that was supposed to address it instead completed it.

---

To M, If You Ever Read This

You were caught in a system that failed us both.

I did not abandon you. I was pushed out by professionals who denied what was happening, by a regulatory body that refused to act, and by a process that took everything I had.

This record exists so that one day, if you want to understand, the evidence is here.

I love you. I always have. That never changed.

---

Afterword: Why This Matters

This is one case. One father. One son. One therapist. One regulatory body.

But the patterns are not unique.

Parental alienation denial is common among certain practitioners.

Regulatory bodies frequently shield professionals from accountability.

Targeted parents are routinely exhausted by systems that should protect them.

Children remain trapped in loyalty conflicts while adults debate whether their suffering is “real.”

If this case file helps one family recognize the warning signs, one practitioner reconsider their biases, or one policymaker understand how the system fails, then documenting it was worth it.

The experts agreed. Then one didn't. And a regulatory body looked the other way.

This is what institutional failure looks like.

---

A Targeted Parent

The Alienation Files

I think E has an incredible mother. It’s something bittersweet for her to be so good that it hurts me by comparison. But at the same time I still have E and I even have her mother in a way, and I’m so grateful for that. We agreed to play until we won one, and it’s not 3:20 AM and we hugged eachother when we finally won.