Publicat la 1 ianuarie 2017

Am senzația că și anul ăsta va fi unul de tip sus-jos.

Am experimentat deja ambele pante, dar e o senzație, nu un fapt; am spus-o chiar de la început.

Probabil că vor fi oscilații dezechilibrate, pulsând în jurul unei orizontale. Va fi, deci, anul ăsta un an în care, per ansamblu, nu se va schimba nimic?!

Scenarii…

Realitatea este întotdeauna aceea care naște scenarii în mintea noastră, dar scenariile născocite pălesc apoi în fața realității.

I’m getting bugged driving up and down the same old strip…

The Beach Boys — I Get Around

In Summary: * A steady driving rain almost all day prevented us from hauling more stuff out to the trailer. Maybe tomorrow the weather will be more cooperative and let us get more moving done. We've got so much stuff boxed that we need to get over to the trailer, so we can bring the empty boxes back to the house and load them up with more stuff.

Prayers, etc.: * I have a daily prayer regimen I try to follow throughout the day from early morning, as soon as I roll out of bed, until head hits pillow at night.

Health Metrics: * bw= 219.14 lbs. * bp= 147/86 (65)

Exercise: * morning stretches, balance exercises, kegel pelvic floor exercises, half squats, calf raises, toe raises, wall push-ups, BP breathing exercises, pilates

Diet: * 04:00 – 1 banana * 05:30 – pizza * 12:00 – Mongolian beef lunch plate, steamed rice, egg drop soup. * 14:00 – dish of ice cream

Activities, Chores, etc.: * 03:00 – listen to local news talk radio * 04:00 – bank accounts activity monitored . * 06:00 – read, write, pray, follow news reports from various sources, surf the socials, listen to music * 11:30 – met with mover * 12:00 – lunch with the wife * 13:00 – go to bank * 13:30 – back home in the steady, driving rain. * 15:00 – listen to the Jack Riccardi Show * 17:00 – just back from the jeweler's with new watch bands on my two wrist watches, the favorite and the backup.

Chess: * 14:50 – moved in all pending CC games, winning one.

Chapter 1: When You Notice You Have Been Somewhere Else

Sometimes the realization comes in a very ordinary moment. You are standing at the kitchen counter, looking at a cup you poured twenty minutes ago and never touched. Your phone is nearby. There are messages waiting, something unfinished in another room, and one more thing you promised yourself you would handle before the day ends. Nothing is falling apart, but you feel as though you have been everywhere except where you actually are. That is the heart of this Christian video about slowing down and remembering what matters when life gets busy, because sometimes the greatest loss in a crowded season is not time. It is presence.

I know how easy it is to tell yourself that you will be more present later. After this week. After this project. After the next appointment. After the pressure eases. You keep moving because the things in front of you are real, and many of them genuinely matter. Yet eventually you may notice that this related Christian reflection on keeping faith and life in their proper place is not really about escaping responsibility. It is about recognizing when responsibility has begun occupying places in your heart that belong to something deeper.

There are quiet things in life that rarely fight for your attention. God does not force you to stop scrolling and pray. The person who loves you may not interrupt when they see you are overwhelmed. A tired body may keep going long after it should have rested. Even your own thoughts can wait patiently while you spend another day answering everyone else. That patience can fool us into believing those things will always be there whenever we finally make room for them.

Maybe that is what makes busyness so deceptive. It does not usually arrive as something obviously harmful. It often comes dressed as responsibility. You are helping someone, finishing something important, keeping a promise, or trying to build a better future. All of that can be good. But good things can still crowd out better things when we stop paying attention.

Jesus lived among people who constantly needed Him, yet the Gospels show Him stepping away to pray. I find comfort in that because it means stepping back is not the same as abandoning what matters. Sometimes stepping back is how we remember what matters.

You may not need a dramatic change. Maybe tonight you need ten quiet minutes without your phone. Maybe tomorrow morning you need to pray before checking messages. Maybe you need to sit beside someone you love and actually hear the whole story instead of listening while thinking about the next thing.

Those moments can feel small compared with everything demanding your attention.

But your life is made of small moments.

And some of the most important ones are still waiting quietly for you to notice them.

Chapter 2: The Cost of Always Being Available

There is a particular kind of weariness that shows up when your phone lights up again and you already know you are going to answer it. Maybe you are sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to wind down, when another message arrives. Someone needs advice. Someone has a question. Someone wants a decision. You care, so you respond. Then another message comes in, and before long the few quiet minutes you had left belong to everyone except you.

Being needed can feel meaningful. It can also become a habit we are afraid to break.

Some of us have spent years becoming the dependable person. We are the one who answers. We are the one who helps. We are the one people trust when something goes wrong. There is something good in that. Serving others is part of a faithful life. But being useful to people is not the same thing as being available every minute.

Even Jesus stepped away from people who wanted something from Him.

That matters to me because it removes some of the guilt from saying, “Not right now.”

Maybe your example is a family member who calls while you are already carrying more than you can handle. You love them, but the conversation can wait until tomorrow. Maybe it is a work message after dinner that feels urgent only because someone sent it late. Maybe it is the habit of checking your phone every few minutes because silence makes you wonder whether somebody needs you.

You are allowed to create space where nobody has immediate access to you.

That does not make you uncaring. It may actually help you become more loving because you stop giving people the most depleted version of yourself.

There is another reason this matters spiritually. Constant noise can keep us from noticing what is happening inside. When every quiet moment gets filled, we never have to face the tiredness, sadness, gratitude, fear, or questions that have been waiting underneath everything else.

God often meets us there.

Not always in the dramatic moment. Sometimes in the silence after the phone is set down. Sometimes in the few minutes before sleep when we finally admit, “Lord, I am tired.” Sometimes in a morning when we stop trying to sound spiritual and simply tell Him the truth.

You do not need to earn those moments by completing everything first.

There will always be another person who wants something. There will always be another task that can be done.

But there are parts of your heart that cannot stay postponed forever.

Give them a little room.

God may already be waiting there.

Chapter 3: What You May Be Missing While You Hurry

You might notice it while standing outside for a moment longer than usual. Maybe the air is cooler than you expected. Maybe the sky has changed color while you were inside working. For once, nobody is talking to you, and nothing in your hand needs an answer. You realize how long it has been since you simply noticed where you were.

That kind of moment can feel almost unfamiliar when life has been moving fast.

We can become so focused on what comes next that we stop receiving what is already here. We rush through breakfast because of the meeting. We rush through the meeting because of the next responsibility. We rush through dinner because there is still something to finish. Then we wonder why the days seem to disappear.

Maybe they disappear because we keep trying to get through them.

Faith invites us to live differently. Psalm 118:24 says, “This is the day the Lord has made.” That verse is easy to quote, but harder to live when the day is crowded. It asks us to see today as more than something to survive on the way to tomorrow.

That matters especially during seasons when life feels demanding. You may be caring for someone who needs you. You may be working harder than usual. You may be dealing with financial pressure, family strain, or responsibilities that cannot simply be ignored. None of that makes presence easy.

But presence does not require pretending the pressure is gone.

It can be as simple as noticing one good thing before the day ends. Maybe someone checked on you. Maybe you laughed when you did not expect to. Maybe you got through something that felt difficult this morning. Maybe you had food on the table, a safe place to sleep, or a few quiet minutes when you could breathe and remember that God was still with you.

Gratitude is not denial. It is attention.

It is deciding that pressure will not be the only thing you notice.

There is something deeply freeing about that. You do not need to wait until your life is less complicated before you start living it. You do not need an empty calendar before you can have peace. You do not need everything fixed before you can thank God.

You can meet Him here.

Right in the middle of the unfinished day.

And maybe that is where we begin to recover the parts of life that have been waiting quietly all along.

Your friend, Douglas Vandergraph

Explore the complete Douglas Vandergraph Master Index: https://douglasvandergraph.com/douglas-vandergraph-master-index/

Watch Douglas Vandergraph’s faith-based videos on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@douglasvandergraph

Television Antihero Deathmatch Tournament Group C- Mike Ehrmantraut, Thomas Shelby, Vic Mackey, Barry Berkman

MIKE EHRMANTRAUT VS THOMAS SHELBY

Location: The Empty Shopping Mall

The mall gives both men exactly the kind of problem they know how to respect. It is large enough that immediate contact is unlikely, empty enough that every sound matters, and stocked with enough useful material that the first person to understand its layout can begin altering the balance before the other ever sees him. Thomas Shelby enters from the eastern end near the food court, Mike Ehrmantraut from the western end beside a department store, and each spends only a short time studying the photograph he has been given before turning his attention to the building. Tommy identifies the sporting-goods store on the first directory he finds and begins moving toward it, but not by the most direct route, choosing instead to cut through the second floor and approach from above. Mike finds the same destination and does not head there at all. He studies the directory longer, identifies the location of mall security, the major service corridors, and the approximate relationship between the anchor stores, then disappears through an employees-only door behind the department store.

Mike's first objective is information rather than a weapon. He reaches the security office after working through a locked administrative corridor, gains entry with ordinary tools, and discovers a camera system good enough to cover most public spaces but full of blind spots around stockrooms, department-store interiors, and service passages. He does not sit in front of the monitors expecting the system to solve the hunt for him. Instead he uses recorded footage to establish Tommy's starting point and direction of travel, then begins tracing the likely route toward the sporting-goods wing. When Tommy finally appears on a camera near the upper concourse, Mike watches for less than a minute before learning what he needs. Tommy moves carefully, checks reflections in storefront glass, avoids walking directly down the center of the corridor, and periodically pauses before entering exposed intersections. Mike now knows he is not hunting an amateur.

Tommy reaches the sporting-goods store without ever realizing Mike has been watching him. The gate is down, but he finds a side access point and gets inside with little difficulty, then arms himself with a handgun and a compact rifle rather than burdening himself with more equipment than he can carry easily. His wartime instincts are visible in everything he does afterward. He checks the rear exit before leaving the sales floor, avoids returning through the same entrance he used, and takes the stockroom route into the service corridor rather than stepping back into the open mall. Tommy also understands that the gun store itself is now dangerous because it is the first place a capable opponent would expect him to visit. He moves away from it quickly and begins thinking about how to draw Mike into terrain where distance, surprise, and nerve can matter more than reconnaissance.

Mike anticipates that too. He leaves the security office before Tommy can begin systematically destroying cameras and collects a handgun, a scoped hunting rifle, and a few practical items from the sporting-goods store only after Tommy has already moved on. He does not follow Tommy's route directly. Instead he studies the mall map, the camera coverage, and the structure of the service corridors to identify places through which Tommy will eventually have to pass if he wants to move between the eastern and western halves of the building without exposing himself on the main concourse. One such point is a broad loading corridor behind the central anchor stores, where two service spines converge near a freight elevator and then split again toward the food court and western retail wing. Mike inspects the corridor from multiple approaches, checks the doors, sightlines, overhead mirrors, and nearby escape routes, then leaves without setting an obvious trap. He does not need to manufacture a complicated ambush if the building already contains a natural one.

Tommy spends nearly an hour trying to create uncertainty around his movements. He opens doors he does not use, leaves one service gate raised and another partially closed, doubles back through a department store, and once triggers a distant alarm before changing direction entirely. The techniques are sound, and against a more impulsive pursuer they would probably work. Mike does not respond to any of them. He is not trying to follow the freshest clue; he is trying to understand Tommy's operating pattern. From occasional camera glimpses and the physical traces of movement in the service corridors, Mike recognizes that Tommy prefers alternate exits, avoids repeating routes, and is gradually moving west after arming himself in the east. That gives Mike something more useful than Tommy's exact location. It gives him a narrowing set of future possibilities.

Tommy eventually reaches the central loading spine because the architecture pushes him there. He does not enter casually. He stops before the intersection, watches the reflective surface of a steel utility door, checks the freight elevator, and studies the open corridor ahead for anything that appears disturbed. Nothing does. Mike is not waiting behind a crate or peering around a corner. He is one level above, positioned inside a maintenance room with a narrow service window overlooking the loading corridor at an angle that is not visible from the floor below. He found the room almost forty minutes earlier, verified that its door could be secured from inside, and waited there without moving because he had no reason to do anything else.

Tommy enters the corridor only after satisfying himself that the obvious danger points are clear. He keeps close to the wall, rifle angled down but ready, and moves toward the freight elevator where he intends to cross into the western service wing. From his position above, Mike watches him pass through the only stretch of open floor that cannot be avoided without turning back. Tommy never looks upward because there is nothing in the corridor to suggest that the wall above him contains an observation window. He never hears Mike because Mike has been still for nearly half an hour. He never gets a warning shot, never sees a muzzle flash in time to react, and never has the chance to turn the encounter into the kind of close, desperate contest in which his courage and wartime experience might matter.

Mike fires once.

The shot is clean, deliberate, and immediately decisive. Tommy collapses before he can identify where it came from, and Mike remains in position for several seconds afterward rather than assuming the first shot has solved the problem. Only when he is satisfied that Shelby is no longer moving does he leave the maintenance room and approach by a different route from the one he used to enter it. The entire exchange lasts only a few seconds, but it is the product of more than an hour of refusing to let the fight become interesting on Tommy's terms.

Thomas Shelby had done almost everything correctly. He armed himself quickly, avoided obvious routes, treated the mall as hostile terrain, used misdirection intelligently, and never behaved like a man who expected courage alone to save him. In a less constrained contest, his broader strategic imagination might have made the matchup far more even. The shopping mall, however, rewarded the narrower discipline Mike Ehrmantraut practices almost perfectly: identify the opponent's habits, reduce the number of likely routes, choose terrain in advance, and wait until the shot does not require heroics. Tommy spent the match trying to avoid walking into an ambush. Mike won because he chose an ambush that did not look like one.

Winner: MIKE EHRMANTRAUT

VIC MACKEY VS BARRY BERKMAN

Location: The Empty Shopping Mall

Vic Mackey and Barry Berkman enter the mall from opposite ends, and the building gives each man something he understands immediately. Vic sees a large, unfamiliar structure full of cover, alternate routes, cameras, locked service areas, and weapons that can be acquired if he moves aggressively enough. Barry sees much the same thing, but his instincts arrange the information differently. He is not thinking about controlling the mall, intimidating an opponent, or forcing contact. He is thinking about sightlines, approach routes, concealment, and how to kill a man who may be armed before that man has time to respond. Both find the sporting-goods store on mall directories within minutes, but only Vic treats reaching it first as the obvious priority.

Vic moves hard and fast. He crosses the central concourse using storefronts and kiosks for intermittent cover, takes escalators two at a time, and reaches the sporting-goods wing before Barry has committed to any direct route. Once inside, he arms himself with a handgun, spare magazines, and a shotgun, then begins using the store as a temporary strongpoint while he works out what his opponent might do next. Vic's police experience gives him real advantages here. He understands clearing rooms, recognizes likely ambush positions, knows how to use corners and cover, and has spent years confronting armed people who were trying very hard not to be found. What he lacks is patience. The empty mall feels to him like a problem that should be solved by movement, pressure, and forcing the other man to reveal himself.

Barry does not go straight to the gun store because he assumes someone like Vic probably will. Instead he moves through a department store and then into the rear service corridors, looking for security access, employee passages, and places from which the public concourse can be observed without exposing himself. He eventually reaches a security station that gives him intermittent camera coverage over the main mall, though not enough to track every service route or store interior. That is sufficient. He sees Vic leaving the sporting-goods store armed and moving with the posture of someone who knows how to use a gun. Barry does not need anything more elaborate than that to understand the matchup. The man in the photograph is dangerous, armed, and aggressive, which means Barry's best chance is to make sure there is never a conventional gunfight.

Vic begins hunting almost immediately. He checks the most obvious routes toward the food court, inspects service doors, and occasionally stops to listen for movement or equipment. He notices one camera angled toward his section of the concourse and shoots it out, correctly reasoning that someone may be watching. Barry sees the feed disappear and learns something from the decision. Vic is tactically aware enough to think about surveillance, but also willing to announce his own location to deny it. Barry leaves the security room before Vic can infer where the system is controlled from and takes a rifle from the sporting-goods store only after Vic has moved well away from it.

For the next half hour the two men move through the mall without seeing one another directly. Vic creates noise deliberately in several places, trying to provoke a reaction or force Barry to reposition. Barry never answers. He watches from upper levels, crosses through stockrooms, and once lets Vic pass less than forty yards away below him without taking the shot because the angle is poor and too much glass separates them. That restraint would probably infuriate Vic if he knew it was happening. Barry is not interested in showing nerve. He is interested in ending the encounter with the first shot that matters.

Vic eventually recognizes that the silence itself is information. His opponent is not panicking, not firing impulsively, and not chasing distractions. That makes him more cautious, but it also makes him more determined to collapse the uncertainty. He begins sweeping the upper levels systematically, moving through one wing and then another with the shotgun ready, using mirrored storefronts and reflective glass to check angles before exposing himself. The method is competent and would be dangerous against most contestants. Against Barry, however, it creates a pattern. Barry sees enough of Vic's movement to realize he is progressing westward one section at a time, checking public corridors before cutting behind the stores.

Barry picks the place before Vic arrives. A large home-furnishings store overlooks one of the second-floor intersections through a series of decorative interior windows and false walls, giving him a concealed position with a long diagonal view across the corridor. He enters through the rear stockroom, leaves the front untouched, and settles into a position that cannot be seen from the obvious approach. Vic reaches the intersection several minutes later and does exactly what a careful man should do: he checks the open concourse, studies the store entrances, and avoids standing in the center of the corridor. What he cannot check is every elevated angle inside every store simultaneously. Barry has already chosen one where Vic's caution does not help him.

Vic never sees him.

Barry fires once from concealment, and the shot lands before Vic can identify where it came from. There is no exchange of gunfire and no desperate rush for cover afterward. Barry stays in position long enough to make certain Vic is down, then relocates before approaching from another direction. Vic's aggression, police experience, and willingness to move had made him dangerous throughout the match, but those same qualities gave Barry something he could study. Once Vic began imposing order on the search, Barry no longer needed to know where he was every second. He only needed to know where he would eventually have to pass.

Vic Mackey was dangerous enough that Barry never treated him casually. In a sudden encounter at short range, Vic's speed, nerve, and experience clearing armed suspects could absolutely have produced a different result. The shopping mall, however, gave Barry too much room to avoid exactly that kind of confrontation. He could watch, wait, choose distance, and use the architecture as concealment rather than merely cover. Vic spent the fight trying to find Barry. Barry spent it deciding when Vic would become visible.

Winner: BARRY BERKMAN

WINNERS MATCH: MIKE EHRMANTRAUT VS BARRY BERKMAN

Location: The Crowded Apartment Complex

The apartment complex gives neither man the clean geometry he would prefer. Four concrete towers surround a vast central market courtyard, their lower floors joined by a sprawling commercial podium of laundries, food stalls, repair shops, storage rooms, and workshops, while enclosed bridges connect East to North and West to South at the sixth floor and a narrower exposed bridge links North and West at the tenth. Behind the towers runs a rear service spine of loading bays, refuse rooms, electrical spaces, maintenance corridors, and stairwells largely hidden from the courtyard. Cameras exist at the main entrances, elevator lobbies, market approaches, and portions of the service spine, but most residential corridors and stairwells remain invisible to them. Mike Ehrmantraut enters through the western side of the courtyard, while Barry Berkman arrives beside the eastern loading area, each with only a photograph and the knowledge that the other man is somewhere inside. Mike studies Barry's face briefly and then studies the people around him; Barry looks at Mike's photograph longer, memorizing the older man's features before slipping it into his pocket. Neither starts searching directly, because both understand that the first person who behaves as though he is hunting announces something about himself.

Mike spends the first hour establishing the board. He walks slowly enough to appear merely lost, learning where the public stairs meet the podium, where deliveries enter from the rear, and which corridors allow movement between the towers without crossing the courtyard. He notices the cameras but does not rush toward a security office, reasoning that anyone competent enough to matter will either do the same or assume someone else might. Instead he watches residents. A delivery worker uses a locked service door behind West Tower; a maintenance employee emerges from a stairwell that does not appear on the public signs; two security guards rotate between small offices near the courtyard and the rear spine. Mike eventually follows one of those patterns rather than a person, reaching a small management station when it is briefly unattended and taking a compact handgun from a locked drawer after finding the key clipped inside another cabinet. He leaves the room looking almost exactly as he found it, because the weapon matters less than preventing anyone else from learning that he has it.

Barry approaches the problem differently but reaches many of the same conclusions. He moves faster through the eastern half of the complex, not recklessly but with the efficiency of someone trained to enter unfamiliar buildings and reduce them to routes, choke points, and likely threats. He quickly discovers the service spine and realizes it provides a parallel world behind the residential towers, one in which he can cross significant distances without entering the courtyard at all. Rather than interrogating residents, he watches how they react to strangers, using their glances and small hesitations to tell him where he stands out most. A maintenance room near East Tower gives him tools and a heavy utility knife, but he passes up several opportunities to steal objects that would slow him down. Later, after seeing a uniformed security employee enter a ground-floor office in North Tower, Barry waits until the man leaves and acquires a pistol of his own. He checks the magazine, pockets it, and disappears before anyone notices the office was disturbed.

For most of the afternoon the two men never see one another. Mike establishes several observation points, none of which he uses for long: an unfinished apartment overlooking the courtyard, a laundry balcony with a view of the West-South bridge, and a storage room from which he can see a portion of the rear service spine through a broken ventilation panel. Barry crosses some of those spaces minutes before or after Mike leaves them, close enough that the match repeatedly threatens to collapse into violence without either man knowing it. Their awareness of the population makes direct tracking almost useless. Every stairwell contains unrelated footsteps, every corridor has doors opening and closing, and every discarded bottle or disturbed chair has dozens of possible explanations. Mike therefore begins searching for absences rather than traces. He notices that residents react differently in the moments after a foreign man passes, and twice he follows a subtle wake of attention only to find nothing by the time he arrives.

Barry independently discovers the same weakness in the crowd. The residents may not know what is happening, but a tall American moving through residential corridors creates small disturbances even when he says nothing. Barry begins doubling back after entering populated floors, sometimes descending one stairwell only to climb another and watch the corridor he just left from a different angle. On one of those reversals he sees an older bald man at the far end of the sixth-floor North Tower corridor, dressed plainly and moving without hurry. The sight lasts less than two seconds before Mike disappears through an apartment doorway. Barry does not chase. He stops, studies the corridor, and realizes that the older man had probably been watching him first.

The match changes from that moment because each now knows the other is careful. Mike had seen Barry enter North Tower from a courtyard camera monitor he briefly accessed earlier and positioned himself near the sixth-floor bridge to verify the photograph in person. He gets what he wants, but Barry's refusal to pursue tells him almost as much as Barry's appearance. A less disciplined man would have reacted to the glimpse. Barry instead assumes the sighting might have been intentional and begins asking what Mike wanted him to see. Mike reaches the same conclusion in reverse: Barry is not simply a younger gunman who can be baited with movement. From then on, both men begin using visibility deliberately, showing themselves only when the sighting can create a false expectation.

Mike makes the first serious move. He allows himself to be seen by several residents entering the West Tower public stairwell, then crosses through an occupied floor to the rear maintenance stairs and exits into the service spine below. Anyone following the social trail would believe he had gone upward. Mike takes position in a refuse corridor with sightlines toward the West-South bridge access and waits, expecting Barry to test the most logical upper route while Mike observes from behind. Barry does reach West Tower, but he stops after noticing how many residents have recently seen Mike. The trail is too clean. Instead of climbing, he crosses the courtyard through the market, enters South Tower from below, and approaches the sixth-floor bridge from the opposite side, effectively examining the trap from behind without ever entering it.

Mike sees enough to know what happened. A glimpse of Barry through a service-window reflection tells him the younger man has reached South Tower without using the route Mike expected. Mike leaves before Barry can close the loop and changes the board again. He begins using the tenth-floor North-West bridge, not because it is safe but because it is exposed enough that movement there can be observed from several buildings. Twice he crosses it openly and then disappears into North Tower, establishing a pattern Barry can notice. On the third occasion, Mike does not cross at all. He sends a resident onto the bridge carrying a dark jacket similar to his own after casually placing it over a chair near a communal area, then watches from an upper stair landing to see whether Barry reacts to the silhouette.

Barry does react, but not by shooting. From a distant balcony he raises the pistol, studies the figure, and lowers it when the movement is wrong. The person on the bridge walks casually, looks at a phone, and shows none of the controlled awareness Barry has seen from Mike. That moment gives Barry something more useful than a target. Mike is actively testing what Barry will shoot at. Barry realizes that the older man is trying to establish his trigger discipline, his observation habits, and perhaps his preferred firing distances. He also realizes that every minute spent playing entirely on Mike's terms increases the chance that one of those tests will eventually become lethal.

Barry therefore stops trying to solve Mike's intentions and begins reducing Mike's available geography. He avoids the courtyard entirely, moves through the rear spine, and spends nearly an hour learning the maintenance access between North and West Towers. He discovers that although the public routes are numerous, the service corridors between those buildings funnel through only two practical vertical connections: a freight stair near the North loading area and a narrow utility stair behind West Tower. Mike has been using both because they offer the kind of unseen movement he prefers. Barry cannot know which one Mike will choose next, but he does not need to. He begins watching not the stairs themselves but the residents and maintenance workers around them, waiting for the tiny disruptions caused when someone unfamiliar passes through a semi-private space.

Mike nearly ends the match first. He notices that Barry has stopped appearing on public cameras and infers that he has moved into the service system. Rather than search for him there, Mike chooses the freight stair near North Tower and leaves a subtle sign suggesting recent passage before taking position across the corridor in a locked utility room with a narrow view through the door frame. Barry eventually arrives below, sees enough disturbance to suspect Mike used the stairs, and begins climbing. Mike watches the stairwell through a reflected strip of metal rather than exposing himself directly. Barry reaches the landing, pauses, and for several seconds stands less than fifteen feet from the line of fire Mike has prepared. Mike does not shoot because Barry has not yet cleared the concrete wall enough to guarantee the shot, and Barry never does.

Something bothers Barry before he enters the landing. The stairwell is too quiet, the door above is closed but not latched, and the corridor beyond offers no visible reason for Mike to have gone there except that it would be an excellent place to make someone follow. Barry backs down one flight, exits through a maintenance hatch into an adjacent storage level, and disappears from Mike's angle entirely. Mike waits another five minutes before accepting that the opportunity is gone. He leaves through the rear of the utility room and changes position, but for the first time in the match he has shown Barry something important. The older man is close, armed, and willing to wait indefinitely for certainty.

Barry begins hunting the waiting rather than the man. He reasons that Mike repeatedly chooses positions with three characteristics: concealment, a predictable approach, and a secondary exit. Instead of asking where Mike is, Barry starts asking which places in the service spine satisfy all three conditions. That reduces dozens of rooms to fewer than ten, then to four once he accounts for where Mike was last seen. Barry checks none of them directly. He moves through the floors above and below, looking for ventilation grilles, maintenance shafts, balconies, and structural openings that provide alternate observation into the same spaces. It is slower than simply clearing rooms, but it prevents Mike from deciding the terms of contact.

Late in the evening Barry finds the pattern he has been waiting for. A locked storage room behind West Tower has a narrow service window facing the utility stair, a rear door into an electrical passage, and enough concealment inside for someone to remain unseen from both approaches. Barry never touches the main door. He circles through the floor above, enters an unfinished apartment, and discovers a vertical plumbing chase wide enough to give him a partial view into the electrical passage behind the room. From there he sees movement: not Mike himself at first, only a shadow crossing beneath the light and then the brief shape of a handgun held low. Barry finally understands the position. Mike is waiting for him to enter from the stairwell.

Barry could retreat and start over, but this is the first time he has obtained something Mike does not know he has. He descends through another maintenance route, crosses into the electrical passage from the far end, and approaches slowly enough that each step takes several seconds. Mike remains focused on the stairwell because that is where every piece of available information says Barry should appear. Barry reaches the rear corner of the storage room without making contact and stops when he sees the edge of Mike's shoulder through the partially open service door. For several seconds neither man moves, though only one of them knows they are sharing the same position.

Mike realizes it a fraction too late. A faint sound behind him, perhaps cloth against concrete or the pressure change of a door shifting, causes him to turn. Barry is already there with the pistol raised. Mike begins bringing his own weapon across, but age, angle, and surprise leave him no margin. Barry fires before Mike can establish a shot.

The end is abrupt because everything before it was not. Barry remains where he is until he is certain Mike can no longer respond, then lowers the pistol and looks back toward the route by which he entered. He has not beaten Mike by being more patient, because Mike was probably the more patient man. He has not beaten him by being more perceptive overall, because Mike correctly read most of Barry's habits before Barry understood his. What Barry possessed was enough tactical competence to recognize the structure of Mike's game and enough physical speed and flexibility to attack that structure from an angle Mike could not fully cover.

Mike came within seconds of winning. His freight-stair ambush was better prepared than anything Barry had created, and if Barry had exposed himself another foot into the landing, the match likely would have ended there. Barry's advantage was that surviving one correct suspicion allowed him to keep learning, while Mike's margin for error remained almost nonexistent. Once Barry understood that Mike's strongest positions required predictable approaches and concealed exits, he stopped approaching them the way Mike expected. The chess match ended not because Barry found a brilliant combination, but because he finally forced Mike to defend one more square than he could watch at once.

Winner: BARRY BERKMAN

LOSERS MATCH: VIC MACKEY VS THOMAS SHELBY

Location: The Crowded Apartment Complex

The apartment complex confronts Vic Mackey and Thomas Shelby with a problem neither can reduce immediately to gunfire. Four twelve-story concrete towers surround a crowded central market courtyard, their lower floors bound together by shops, workshops, laundries, storage rooms, and improvised passages that have accumulated over decades rather than followed any clean architectural plan. East connects to North and West to South by enclosed bridges at the sixth floor, while the exposed tenth-floor bridge between North and West hangs above the courtyard like an invitation to anyone foolish enough to cross it under observation. Behind everything runs the rear service spine, a quieter network of loading areas, refuse rooms, utility corridors, and maintenance stairs that residents use less frequently than the public routes. Vic enters from the southern edge near the market while Tommy arrives beside the northern service lane, each armed only with the other's photograph and neither speaking the local language. The crowds immediately matter because an unfamiliar white man in either part of the complex is noticeable, and both men understand within minutes that remaining unseen will be considerably harder than controlling what people remember.

Tommy begins with the people. The absence of a shared language deprives him of the speeches, bargains, and carefully calibrated threats that have made him so dangerous in Birmingham, but it does not remove his ability to read status and social relationships. He watches before approaching anyone, identifying which shopkeepers others defer to, which older residents seem comfortable giving directions, and which young men move through the market as though they know everyone in it. Vic's photograph becomes a tool rather than merely a target reference. Tommy shows it with a questioning expression, offers cigarettes taken from an unattended stall when friendliness seems useful, and uses gesture and tone to suggest that the man is dangerous when sympathy seems more valuable than curiosity. The resulting information is imprecise, but several independent gestures point toward the southern side of the complex. Tommy begins moving that way without hurrying, understanding that every person he questions also becomes someone who can later remember him.

Vic approaches the same problem with less elegance and more speed. He has spent years entering hostile neighborhoods where nobody wants to cooperate with police, and the lack of a common language bothers him less than it might bother someone whose interrogation style depended upon conversation. He flashes Tommy's photograph, points, watches faces, and pressures anyone whose eyes betray recognition. One food vendor tries to wave him away until Vic steps behind the counter, blocks the man's retreat with his body, and repeats the question without needing a single shared word. The vendor points toward the North Tower. Vic leaves immediately, but not before noticing that several nearby residents are staring at him now, which tells him something Tommy has not yet learned: intimidation produces information quickly while simultaneously producing a trail.

Their first near-contact occurs because both men use that trail against the other. Tommy hears excited conversation behind him on the fifth floor of North Tower and notices several residents looking repeatedly toward the stairwell he has just left. He cannot understand what they are saying, but he recognizes the pattern of people discussing someone who recently frightened them. Rather than continue upward, he crosses an occupied apartment with the owner's confused permission, emerges onto a rear balcony, and uses an exterior stair to descend toward the service spine. Vic reaches the fifth-floor landing less than three minutes later and sees residents pointing in multiple directions after Tommy's passage. Instead of choosing one immediately, he steps into the corridor and studies the open doors, the balcony access, and the way the nearest residents keep glancing toward the rear side of the building. He picks the exterior route correctly. By the time he reaches the service lane Tommy is gone, but Vic now knows his opponent understands how to use civilians as camouflage rather than simply obstacles.

Tommy learns almost as much from the failure. From an upper service balcony he watches Vic emerge below and recognizes immediately that the man moves nothing like an ordinary criminal. Vic checks corners before exposing himself, keeps his body close to cover, studies upper windows instead of staring only ahead, and appears completely comfortable entering a place where he knows another armed man may be waiting. Tommy has seen soldiers move with that kind of purpose, although Vic's style belongs to a different era. He abandons any thought that age or appearance makes the American easy prey. Instead he begins constructing a broader picture of Vic's temperament from the wake he leaves among residents. People remember him vividly, which means Tommy can often determine where Vic was several minutes earlier, but the same stories also suggest that Vic moves quickly enough to make old information dangerous.

Vic acquires a weapon first. Near the rear of South Tower he notices a small private security office, waits until its single uniformed occupant leaves, and forces the cabinet inside to obtain a compact handgun and two magazines. His police background makes the weapon feel less like an escalation than the restoration of something that should have been there all along. Tommy obtains a pistol later from another security post in West Tower, though he finds only one magazine and no spare ammunition. Both men now become more cautious, but not equally so. Tommy starts treating every long corridor as a possible firing lane and every bridge as something to cross only when he understands who can see it. Vic becomes more aggressive because the gun gives him confidence that if he can finally force contact, the uncertainty will end.

The middle of the match belongs to Tommy because he realizes first that the population can be used to shape movement rather than merely report it. He begins deliberately showing Vic's photograph to residents along routes he has no intention of using, then allowing himself to be seen heading in another direction. When Vic reaches those areas later, people point him toward stale or deliberately misleading information without knowing they are participating in a deception. Tommy uses the resulting gaps to move between North and East Towers, then down through the podium where he changes jackets and acquires a cap that makes his silhouette less distinctive from a distance. He cannot disappear into the crowd completely, but he makes recognition slower. Vic notices after the second false trail that Tommy is poisoning the information network, and instead of abandoning the residents altogether he begins asking a different question through gesture: not where the man went, but how long ago they saw him.

That adjustment begins restoring the balance. Vic uses clocks, fingers, and simple gestures to distinguish a fresh sighting from one already twenty minutes old, and his pursuit becomes less vulnerable to Tommy's planted directions. He also begins thinking like a cop looking for a fugitive rather than a man following clues. Tommy needs access to multiple exits, dislikes exposed crossings, and has repeatedly favored the service side of the towers over the courtyard. Vic therefore stops trying to locate him exactly and starts moving between the places Tommy is most likely to use. One of those is the sixth-floor enclosed bridge between East and North, which offers concealment from the courtyard while connecting two of the areas Tommy has used most heavily. Vic waits near it for nearly half an hour without seeing Tommy, then leaves rather than becoming predictable.

Tommy crosses the same bridge less than ten minutes later and notices evidence that someone has been waiting there. A cigarette butt would mean nothing in a building full of residents, but the stairwell door beside it has been propped slightly open in a way that creates a clear view down the corridor while preserving cover from anyone approaching the bridge. Tommy does not know Vic was responsible, yet the arrangement troubles him enough that he reverses direction. The instinct saves him. Vic, who has repositioned one level below where he can observe people using the North Tower stairs, sees several residents react to someone above and realizes Tommy may have reached the bridge after all. He climbs rapidly, but by the time he arrives Tommy has vanished into an apartment corridor. The distance between them has now compressed from towers to floors.

Tommy makes his first serious attempt to end the match that evening. He allows himself to be seen entering West Tower at ground level, then climbs through the maintenance stairs and crosses the tenth-floor bridge into North, correctly anticipating that Vic will learn about the ground-floor sighting and approach from below. From North he takes a position inside an unfinished apartment overlooking one of the upper stairwell exits, giving him a narrow but excellent firing angle. Vic eventually appears exactly where Tommy expects, moving cautiously upward with his pistol ready. Tommy waits until enough of his body is exposed to make the shot meaningful. At the last moment a resident emerges from a nearby apartment carrying laundry and walks directly between them, forcing Tommy to hold fire rather than reveal himself for a poor shot through a civilian.

Vic notices the woman's reaction before he notices anything else. She freezes briefly when she sees him and then looks past him toward the unfinished apartment, a tiny involuntary movement that means nothing to her and almost everything to someone who has spent years watching frightened witnesses. Vic drops backward behind the concrete stair wall before Tommy can regain a clean line. He does not return fire because he still cannot see Tommy. Instead he descends one level, crosses through a residential hallway, and begins working toward the unfinished apartment from the opposite stairwell. Tommy understands within minutes that Vic has not simply retreated. The absence of movement below tells him his position has been compromised, and he leaves through a rear opening before Vic completes the circle.

After that failed ambush, the match becomes less favorable to Tommy. He has shown Vic that he is willing to wait for a prepared shot, and Vic responds by becoming much harder to channel. He stops moving directly toward fresh sightings, approaches likely positions from secondary routes, and repeatedly uses the building's residents as involuntary indicators of whether someone dangerous is nearby. Tommy remains the more patient of the two, but Vic has spent much of his career surviving exactly the sort of urban cat-and-mouse game Tommy is trying to create. The historical gap between them begins to matter. Tommy's war taught him courage under fire, fieldcraft, and the brutal logic of combat, but Vic's entire professional life has taken place inside apartments, alleys, stairwells, vehicles, and neighborhoods where armed suspects hide behind ordinary life.

Their final convergence begins with a mistake so small that neither could reasonably have planned around it. Tommy crosses the lower commercial podium near closing time and pauses inside a repair shop to let Vic pass through the market below. A teenage boy recognizes Tommy from the photograph Vic showed earlier and stares at him too long. Tommy sees the recognition and leaves immediately through the rear, but Vic sees the boy turn his head. He follows the gaze rather than the direction anyone points, catches a glimpse of Tommy disappearing behind the shop, and for the first time in hours has information that is both fresh and uncontaminated.

Vic does not charge through the same doorway. He moves outside, circles toward the rear service spine, and calculates that Tommy has only a few useful exits if he wants to avoid returning to the crowded courtyard. One leads toward the South Tower loading area, another toward the West maintenance stair, and a third through a narrow workshop corridor connecting several ground-floor businesses. Vic chooses the West stair because it offers the cleanest route away from the market and positions himself behind a concrete utility partition where he can see the corridor without exposing his body. Tommy reaches the intersection several minutes later and pauses before entering. He senses danger strongly enough to check behind him and study the open stairwell ahead, but there is nothing visibly wrong with it.

For once, Tommy is the man arriving second to an ambush he cannot fully read. He moves along the wall with the pistol held close, not carelessly but with his attention divided between the stairwell ahead and the possibility that Vic has followed from behind. Vic waits until Tommy passes the edge of the utility partition and turns slightly toward the stairs. The distance is less than twenty feet. Vic fires before Tommy sees him clearly, striking him high in the torso and driving him against the concrete wall.

Tommy still reacts. His pistol comes up as he drops, and he fires toward the partition without having a clean target, forcing Vic to remain behind cover rather than rush forward. The shot buys Tommy several seconds but not a route out. He tries to drag himself toward the stairwell while keeping the pistol pointed back, and Vic circles through the adjoining utility space rather than approaching along the same line Tommy is watching. When Vic appears again, it is from Tommy's flank. The second shot ends the fight before it can become the prolonged exchange Tommy might still have found some way to survive.

Thomas Shelby made better use of the apartment complex for much of the match. He adapted to the language barrier, turned residents into carriers of false information, changed his appearance, created a genuine ambush, and repeatedly forced Vic to question what the population was telling him. In a contest of broad strategy, Tommy was arguably ahead. What defeated him was the fact that Vic's particular intelligence is unusually well suited to dense urban pursuit. He reads frightened civilians almost automatically, understands how armed fugitives choose routes through apartment buildings, and is comfortable abandoning a bad approach without abandoning the hunt.

Vic also benefited from something Tommy could not completely account for: modern policing had trained him to treat human behavior itself as part of the physical environment. A glance through a doorway, a witness looking toward the wrong room, a teenager recognizing a photograph, or residents behaving differently around one staircase could reveal more to him than a spoken answer. Tommy nearly killed him by thinking several moves ahead, but Vic survived that attempt and then stopped playing the game Tommy wanted. When the final opportunity arrived, Vic did not threaten, interrogate, or announce himself. He found the angle, waited for Tommy to enter it, and fired before the Englishman understood that the hunt had ended.

Winner: VIC MACKEY

FINAL MATCH: MIKE EHRMANTRAUT VS VIC MACKEY

Location: The Forest Decider

The forest gives Mike Ehrmantraut almost everything he wants and takes away almost everything Vic Mackey usually uses to make himself dangerous. The western ridge rises sharply above the central creek valley, the eastern ground falls away toward the marsh and pond, and three hunting structures sit far enough apart that any movement between them requires exposure to open ground, slopes, or narrow crossings. Mike enters from the northwest, close enough to the ridge cabin that he finds it within half an hour, while Vic starts near the southeastern pond and reaches the hunting shack not long afterward. Both obtain firearms, food, water, binoculars, and partial maps, but the similarity ends there. Vic immediately begins thinking about where Mike is likely to be and how quickly he can force contact. Mike begins thinking about how little he needs to do before Vic tells him where he is.

Mike takes the ridge cabin's rifle and studies the map until he understands the relationship between the western high ground, the creek, and the central lodge. He does not linger inside the cabin, because buildings are landmarks and landmarks attract attention, but he spends enough time outside to identify a rocky shelf farther south that overlooks part of the creek valley while remaining concealed beneath evergreen cover. From there he can watch one of the easiest routes between the pond and central lodge without being visible from below. He settles in and waits. For nearly an hour nothing happens. Mike does not improve the position, wander for a better angle, or convince himself that inactivity means the plan has failed.

Vic behaves almost exactly as Mike expects an aggressive, competent man to behave in an unfamiliar enclosure. He searches the pond shack thoroughly, takes a shotgun and handgun, studies the local map, and then leaves rather than sitting in a position that gives him no information about his opponent. His movement is careful enough that he avoids obvious openings when possible, but he moves steadily because he believes finding Mike first is preferable to allowing Mike time to prepare. At the central lodge he discovers no sign that Mike has been there, so he continues west, reasoning that the ridge cabin is the next logical resource point. Vic pauses often to listen and checks the ground for signs of passage, but he is not a tracker and knows it. What he does not know is that Mike is watching him from high ground before Vic ever reaches the creek.

Mike sees Vic through binoculars for the first time at a distance of several hundred feet. The photograph is enough to confirm him, but Mike keeps watching rather than taking a difficult shot through branches and uneven terrain. Vic crosses the creek, stops to scan the ridge, and continues upward along a game trail that offers the easiest climb. He is armed, alert, and using cover when he can, which tells Mike there is no reason to underestimate him. It also tells him Vic is doing exactly what movement through the terrain requires: advancing from one useful piece of cover to the next along routes dictated by slope and visibility. Mike leaves his first position while Vic is still below and moves farther up the ridge to a place where the trail bends around a rock outcrop before opening briefly into a narrow clearing.

Vic reaches the ridge cabin without ever seeing Mike. He notices that someone has been there because supplies are missing and the gun cabinet has been opened, which immediately confirms that Mike began somewhere on the western side. Vic becomes more cautious from that point forward, but also more certain that he is finally close. He circles the cabin, checks the tree line, and then begins following the ridge south because the partial map shows the only practical high-ground route running in that direction. In his mind, this is progress. In Mike's mind, Vic has now reduced his own options to a corridor less than fifty yards wide.

Mike is already in place when Vic enters it. He lies behind a fallen trunk above the trail with the rifle supported against the wood and a clear view of the bend below. The position is not dramatic, and there is nothing about it that Vic could reasonably identify as an ambush from a distance. It is simply the point where the terrain forces anyone following the ridge to step around exposed rock before reaching the next section of cover. Mike has chosen it because the shot will be short, stable, and unobstructed. He does not need Vic to make a mistake beyond continuing in the direction he has already chosen.

Vic stops before the bend and scans the trees. For several seconds he seems almost to sense that something is wrong, but there is no movement to confirm it and no obvious place from which danger announces itself. He advances with the shotgun ready, keeping close to the rock until the trail forces him outward. Mike waits until Vic's body clears the stone completely. He fires once. The shot strikes center mass and drops Vic before he can identify the direction it came from.

Mike remains behind the trunk with the rifle trained on the trail. Vic moves once, attempting to reach the shotgun, but the movement is slow and uncoordinated. Mike fires again only when necessary and then waits several more minutes before approaching from above rather than walking directly down the trail. There is no chase, no exchange of insults, no desperate close-quarters struggle, and no moment in which Vic nearly reverses the outcome through sheer aggression. The fight was functionally over before Vic knew Mike had located him.

Vic Mackey was not incompetent in the forest. He armed himself quickly, moved with awareness, avoided the most obvious open ground, and correctly reasoned that Mike had probably reached the western ridge first. The problem was that every sensible decision Vic made still required him to keep moving, while Mike needed only one stretch of terrain where movement became predictable. Vic's instinct throughout his career has been to pressure uncertainty until it breaks. Against Mike in the forest, pressure only created information for the other man.

Mike never had to outfight Vic because he never allowed a fight to begin. He used geography, patience, and one clean firing lane to remove every advantage Vic might have brought to a closer encounter. By the time Vic reached the ridge trail, Mike knew where he was going, where he would have to expose himself, and exactly how long he needed to wait. There was no contest left to solve.

Winner: MIKE EHRMANTRAUT

So Mike and Barry will move on, and this was probably the most lopsided group yet. Thomas Shelby and Vic Mackey are both cold blooded killers, but Mike and Barry are hunters on another level. Vic's skill is in a modern urban policing environment, and Shelby is used to having underlings and serving as more of a mastermind. They never had a chance. Mike and Barry could easily have gone another way, but the competition in the round of eight is going to be far more cutthroat.


Publicat la 31 decembrie 2016

Aceeași oameni care cu puțin timp în urmă jurau credință liderului lor, după ce acesta nu a obținut tot ceea ce și-ar fi dorit ei în urma unor negocieri la care el i-a reprezentat,   acum au început să îl înjure. A jura și a înjura. Două cuvinte atât de apropiate și totuși atât de îndepărtate.

Este oare atât de greu să înțelegi că o negociere nu aduce tot ceea ce ți-ai fi dorit?! La o negociere trebuie să încerci să vezi lucrurile și din perspectiva celui cu care stai la masă față în față. La o negociere ambele părți au de pierdut, ambele părți au de câștigat, dar câștigul uneia reprezintă pierderea alteia și viceversa.

Anul ăsta (din care mai este puțin) pe mine m-a îndepărtat de vechile bloguri. Nu am făcut-o brusc, deși asta mi-a fost intenția, ci cu încă vreo câteva postări pe unul dintre ele deoarece aș fi vrut să scriu, iar subiectul avea legătură doar cu acel blog și cu acel eu din spatele său.

Anul ăsta m-a îndepărtat și de niște persoane. Nu aș fi vrut, dar cum nu sunt perfect, port și eu o bună parte din vină. Dar m-am și apropiat de altele.

Uitându-mă spre începutul de an, îmi dau seama că schimbările au loc, iar noi aproape că nici nu le sesizăm. Unele evenimente ne încântă ca o sărbătoare, iar apoi ne vedem de treabă, fără măcar să ne dăm seama că acestea rămân în subconștient și că de acolo ne îndreaptă gândurile, iar acestea acțiunile către noi schimbări.

O călătorie te poate face să îți dorești să explorezi locuri nevizitate încă, sau pe altele să le revezi, să cunoști oameni noi, să faci lucruri pe care nu le-ai mai făcut până acum.

Un concert poate arunca o lumină nouă asupra vieții.

Un apus te poate copleși.

Un răsărit îți poate da energia de care aveai nevoie.

Nu mă uit acum la cele 365 de zile scurse aproape integral ca la o retrospectivă, ci pur și simplu, așa cum m-aș uita în oglinda retrovizoare în timp ce conduc. Mă uit în urmă, dar apoi privesc înainte și mă gândesc dacă anul ce urmează va fi un an bun. Un an bun ca titlul unuia dintre romanele  ecranizate ale lui Peter Mayle, cu Russell Crowe, regizat de Ridley Scott.

Un An Nou fericit!



Publicat la 22 decembrie 2016

Da, You Got The Love! Când l-am auzit alaltăieri (cântecul) ca piesă în scena de deschidere a filmului Youth (Tinerețe), mi-a adus niște amintiri în prim-plan.

Ascultasem o versiune diferită, probabil pe cea originală, pe disc vinil. Deocamdată îmi amintesc doar că era pe un disc UK Top 20 Charts (sau Singles) de prin anii ’90. Inițial scrisesem în versiunea în limba engleză că, până îl voi găsi în colecția de discuri vinil, mă voi mulțumi cu rezultatele căutărilor pe web. Între timp l-am căutat și l-am găsit, așa că am la dispoziție și imaginile, nu doar videoclipurile de pe YouTube.

Versiunea din filmul Youth aparține formației The Retrosettes Sister Band, iar originalul lui Candi Staton, ulterior remixat de The Source. Căutările pe web pentru You Got The Love (plus încă vreo două cuvinte-cheie) m-au condus către Top 100 1991 – UK Music Charts. Aici, pe poziția nr. 33, am remarcat The Source featuring Candi Staton. Acum, că am găsit discul, aveți și pozele la dispoziție. Includ cele două versiuni, iar ca bonus, Florence and The Machine merită atenția și includerea acestei versiuni pentru ascultare și eventuale comparații audio.

V-ați decis deja asupra favoritei?

Dacă îmi adresați mie această întrebare, aș spune că fiecare are propria „savoare”. Fiecare versiune are ceva diferit, câte ceva pentru o altă stare de spirit. Dacă urmăriți Youth (Tinerețe), vă veți aduce aminte varianta celor de la The Retrosettes și o veți fredona pe aceasta. Dacă sunteți fan Florence and The Machine, este foarte probabil să fi fost la Glastonbury și să cunoașteți deja cum sună live această piesă!

Ei bine, am început această postare menționând filmul lui Paolo Sorrentino, Tinerețe (Youth). Acesta îi are ca protagoniști pe Michael Caine, Harvey Keitel, Rachel Weisz, Paul Dano și Jane Fonda. Ceea ce am crezut a fi o comedie s-a dovedit a fi ceva mult mai mult decât atât.

Voi încheia cu un citat din film…

Spui că emoțiile sunt supraevaluate. Prostii. Emoțiile sunt tot ce avem.


Publicat la 18 decembrie 2016

O zi obișnuită, o listă de cumpărături și un drum la hypermarketul preferat. Chiar la intrarea dinspre galeria comercială spre hypermarket zăresc un vecin. Ne salutăm în timp ce introduc moneda în dispozitivul de blocare al căruciorului de cumpărături. Starea de curățenie a acestora este unul dintre motivele pentru care îmi fac aici cumpărăturile. Îl văd pe domnul F., vecinul, îndreptându-se spre mine, cu un început de zâmbet pe chip; era pe cale să îmi împărtășească ceva extraordinar! Am scos căruciorul din rând și am așteptat ca domnul F. să se apropie. Deja cu un zâmbet de satisfacție pe față, anticipând parcă extraordinarul sfat ce avea să mi-l dezvăluiască, înainte de a începe să articuleze vreun cuvânt, cu degetul îmi indică mecanismul de blocare. Mai face vreo doi pași, după care spune: „moneda!”. Mă încrunt nelămurit. „Moneda?!”, repet eu. Nici una, nici două, întinde mâna și trage moneda din dispozitiv. Mi-o întinde satisfăcut. Zâmbește larg, de parcă cine știe ce grozăvie a reușit să facă! Iritat, îi spun: „din cauza asta parcarea este plină de cărucioare lăsate la întâmplare!”. El își dă seama că nu m-a găsit de client pentru „metoda” lui și încearcă să se apere: „asta ca să nu uiți moneda în dispozitiv!”. Vorbești serios? 50 de bani?! Să nu îi uit?! Eu îi răspund: „dispozitivul ăsta are și el un rol, altfel cei care construiesc cărucioarele nu s-ar mai obosi să le monteze!”. I-am zâmbit și eu, dar cu alt înțeles, apoi reintroduc moneda în dispozitiv. O voi recupera în momentul în care voi duce căruciorul la locul său. Știam că unii forțăeaza deblocarea căruciorului trăgând puternic de lanțul scurt prins de următorul cărucior, i-am vazut, dar chiar nu mă așteptam ca domnul F., o persoană educată, să aplice astfel de metode.

Am scris fără să fragmentez textul. Probabil aveam nevoie de o cheie, de o „monedă” cu care să deblochez mecanismul paragrafelor. Acum cunosc metoda: iau moneda deblochez un paragraf, scot moneda, îl lungesc cât doresc, îl las la voia întâmplării, iau alt paragraf cu aceeași monedă, scot moneda și, tot așa, umplu postarea de paragrafe.

Deunăzi aveam trei monede: una pe care o țin în acest scop în buzunarul de brichetă (bricheta o țin în borsetă), iar două primite rest la magazinul de cartier unde nu se poate plăti cu cardul. Așadar mă opresc la trei paragrafe. Nu vreau să umplu parcarea (pardon, postarea!) cu paragrafe lăsate la voia întâmplării. Tu, cititorule, vrei să comentezi? Dacă da, scrie-mi! Dacă nu, sper că nu te-am făcut să-ți pierzi timpul citind trei paragrafe!

Publicat la 14 decembrie 2016

De obicei, luna plină, strălucitoare și elegantă așa cum este în noaptea asta senină și la fel de rece ca senzația vizuală a unui metal lucios, nu îmi deranjază programul de somn.

Dar sunt și situații în care sfârșitul unei zile, unei zile fără cine știe ce activitate fizică, te prinde destul de odihnit. Ei, acum avem o problemă cu somnul! Asta mi se întamplă mie acum! Christian este obosit, dar observ că stă cu ochii în tavan…

Este ora unu noaptea când mă duc la culcare. Mă uit la tavan, sunt obosit, relaxat, dar și entuziasmat, așteptând cu nerăbdare să văd ce-mi va aduce săptămâna care urmează.

Christian Grey – Grey – Cincizeci de umbre ale lui Grey – Versiunea lui Christian

Așadar mă bate gândul sa termin de vizionat filmul început aseară. De citit am citit cam toată ziua… Sau să merg în atelier să meșteresc ceva?! Dar nu e o oră potrivită pentru astfel de îndeletniciri. Da… mai bine scriu câteva rânduri pe blog.

„După ce beau un pahar cu apă, fac ce fac mereu când nu pot dormi — îmi verific e-mailul la mine în birou.”

Christian Grey – Grey – Cincizeci de umbre ale lui Grey – Versiunea lui Christian

Mai trebuie spus că, într-o atare situație, metodele obișnuite nu ajută! Prin metode obișnuite înțelegând draperii groase, mască de față pentru somn sau ochelari ce filtrează lumina albastră… Luna privește insistent, iar privirea ei pătrunzătoare penetrează toate aceste mijoace tot așa cum razele gamma străbat Universul (cunoscut)!

Tu, cititorule aflat în aceeași situație, cum petreci timpul acesta în care ar trebui să dormi, dar în care luna plină îți alungă somnul?


In pigmented fray, drops scatter— aloof only in frailty's disbursement of self. Brushed. Stroked. Drowned within a shot glass of reason, fear squats amongst the broken walls barricading discipline's endorsement. Line after line after line after line after the unstable guidance of displaced residue reeks havoc beneath painted squalor. Our uncrafted magnitude blisters obscene — forever impeding smoothed portraits... debased.

© 2026 AnOublietteofThought. All rights reserved.

___

It's raining! It's raining! EeeeEeeeeEeeee!!!

Henry Patton pushed his light brown hair out of his eyes as he admired what he had set up. They were on a support road near the fields, a stretch that was almost never used, and everything was just the way he had wanted it since the Terran had come up with the idea.

There was so much to take into consideration. The fact that he had to bring Siv in to it (because Henry was very aware of the need for decorum since humiliation was so bad for Xalteans) for setting up and importing what he needed. Nish Kevet, his Estate Legion Arch Maid, was brought in because she knew how to keep her mouth shut and knew how to route the field crews so the rest of the estate personnel wouldn't stumble onto the road. Both were sworn to secrecy on pain of everything he could do to them. Now, it was just time to wait.

When the woman he was waiting for came around the bend, he had to stop for a moment to admire her. Mistress Maevin Maer was beautiful, and only a fool would not notice that. Her soft but striking features, long black hair, and blue eyes that seemed to rip your very soul apart. Henry had seen many a maid cower in front of her wrath. This time though, they were filled with suspicion, darting around as if she were walking into a trap. It probably didn't help that she was wearing a fitted athletic top and a pair of sports shorts, the fabric a fraction of what she was used to, and she kept tugging at the hem.

“Maevin!” Henry said grinning and walking over to her. Her eyes locked on his though the suspicion lessened seeing him. “Promise. It's not an ambush.”

“Not that I would think you would do that, my master, but you cannot blame me. Siv insisted I wear this because you requested it, and then she refused to tell me why.”

Henry had bought the outfit himself, and Siv had been under strict orders to see that Maevin wore it. Siv herself walked two steps behind, her two-toned strawberry and straw hair catching the sunlight. She gave Henry a very pleasant and conspiratorial smile. The Mistress must have caught on as her head snapped around glaring at the other maid who dropped her head but not her smile.

“What are you plotting?” Maevin growled.

“Siv, if you and Nish could please start what I asked.”

The young woman bowed and hurried off. Henry strode up to his Mistress excitedly and motioned towards the long, empty stretch of packed dirt road with the fields rolling out on either side. In the middle of it was a bicycle.

“What...is that?” Maevin said, her eyes narrowing.

“A bicycle! We talked about it a month ago, remember?” Henry continued gently placing his hand on her arm and leading her toward it.

“You mean the foot powered device that your people use to get around places?”

“Yes! You had mentioned it would be interesting to see, so I had Siv import one from the Earth Alliance.”

“Why?”

“Because I can show you!”

With the ease of someone who grew up using them, Henry threw his leg over the blue bike and began to ride around on it, forgetting how much he loved it as a child. He didn't stay on the road though, going out onto the grass along the edge of the field, pedaling up the embankment and then riding back down it with no hands. God, how much he missed this.

When he came to a stop, the look of sheer consternation on Maevin's face made him wish he had a camera. Kicked down the kickstand, he got off of it with a hop, skip, and sore muscles that weren't used to such things.

“That...is interesting,” Maevin offered. “I can see how useful it would be if powered vehicles aren't present.”

“Your turn!” Henry said grinning. “I'll teach you!”

“No.”

The way she responded was abrupt and final which made Henry only want to laugh. He didn't though. The way she used the word was not the imperious command of a Mistress but that of a child refusing to do something their parent told them to do.

“Oh, come on,” Henry said letting the grin escape. He tugged on her arm, but she refused to budge.

“It would be undignified for me to be on that...thing,” Maevin countered. “And in this.”

“Already thought of that. You told me how much embarrassment and shame is in your culture. That's why I had Siv pick this secluded road, Nish plan today's field routes around it, and put them on guard, so there isn't anyone to stumble in on us.”

Henry gestured to the tall, dense hedgerow that bordered the road, easily twelve feet high. “There is no way anyone would see you and I told Siv that both of them are going to get the cane if anyone sees you.”

Mistress Maevin stared at the metal contraption in front of her, the hesitation still on her face. “If you order me to, I shall do it.”

“But I don't want to order you,” Henry countered. “I want to show my friend. You'd make me happy if you did it.”

Maevin's face twisted for a moment before she relented. “That's worse, Master.”

The woman walked over, staring at the seat and then began to look around.

“What? Something missing?” Henry asked surprised. “I made sure no one was around.”

“I need a cushion for that narrow seat of rubber,” she responded nonplussed.

“Why? I bought the shorts so you'd be comfortable.”

“These are scraps of fabric, my master, and I am not accustomed to wearing anything beneath what I wear. So, unless you plan to massage my legs after, I need a cushion.”

“Cushion it is!”

Henry darted across to the nearest door of the field supply shed, found the smallest cushion workers would use on the bench inside, and came back. He offered it to her with a grin and she glared.

“What?”

“You're enjoying this too much.”

Yes, yes he was.

Laying the cushion down on the seat, Maevin tugged the hem of her shorts down once more, as if that would do anything, and swung her rather flawless leg over and sat down on it. She put one foot to the pedal and wobbled as she tried to lift the other. Henry walked up and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Balance is better if you start moving.”

“I gathered.”

She began to move, and it wobbled again, and before he could think, he stepped forward and held on to her waist. Maevin looked over her shoulder at him but didn't say anything. Henry was quite aware this was closer and more contact than both were used to, especially with so little fabric between his hands and her, but he wasn't going to let his friend fall.

After a few pushes on the pedal, she nodded, and he let her go, watching her ride slowly but with a grace that he hadn't actually expected. It was when she hit the grass that he saw it lurch and her begin to overcompensate. Henry ran over to her, dove, and caught her in his arms before they all tumbled to the ground in a mixture of limbs and bicycle. She was half sitting in his lap, her cheeks and ears bright red.

“That was humiliating,” she groused.

“That's why I kept everyone away,” Henry responded trying to catch his breath and not freak out that there was a woman in his lap leaning up against him also breathing hard. For a moment, they just sat there, her warmth pressed up against him and maybe a bit too long. Both seemed to realize it and began to scramble to their feet.

She brushed the dirt and grass off herself and tugged her top and shorts back into place with as much dignity as the outfit allowed.

“Well, I tried it,” she said with wounded pride.

“It takes a little practice. We can try again tomorrow or—–”

“No.”

That word had a lot more finality than it did last time. Henry laughed.

“Alright, alright. But thanks for trying.”

“You're welcome,” she said, one of those smiles he enjoyed crossing her face, but then it darkened. “If you tell anyone, master, I shall find ways to exact my revenge.”

“Are you threatening me?” Henry said his grin getting bigger.

Her only answer was a little smirk.

Okay, last night and today were a lot better. I was able to keep food down and the dizziness is to a minimum. My main issues today are feeling a lot of pressure, some pain, discomfort, and feeling really, really tired.

Thank you for your message. I am currently out of office — but not for much longer.

It has been 111 days since my last day of work and I am on day one of recovery from surgery. A procedure I kind of had to rush into due to my benefits ending in just a couple of days. It makes me a little mad to be honest, but anyway.

Today was horrible. I had the absolute worst nausea of my life, couldn’t keep anything down and even looking at my phone or the wall or cars moving outside would make me dizzy. It was awful. I have no idea how I found the strength or energy to make brownies yesterday, but I am so mad I can’t even have one.

I hope this gets better soon.

Thank you for your message. I am currently out of office — but not for much longer.

Surgery day! I woke up way earlier than I needed to but didn’t bother going back to sleep knowing I would be under anesthesia and sleepy the rest of the day anyway. I got my teeth brushed, and myself ready to head to the surgery center. I was out like a light and everything went well. Then my dad brought me home and made me some yummy chicken soup. I mostly ate the broth, but it was the greatest meal ever.

I was very loopy and out of it. Spent the rest of the day in and out of napping. Somehow I found time to make sweet potato brownies – I do not recommend doing this on the day of surgery. The nausea comes later and they are just sitting there taunting you.

Thank you for your message. I am currently out of office — but not for much longer.

It is like the second when your eyes meet, then you look away, and blush before blushes, the second the scent of skin seems to come over you because you move closer, but not close enough, like when a thousand butterflies land and come together before you get dizzy, and yes, swoon, very much like the time, walking arm in arm at night, when it occurs to you that you could actually faint, just before you faint, and the comets meet you at eye level, then rain down on you

#poetry

I was able to get a lot done today. More than I even imagined! Got all my laundry and mail sorted out. The best part is that I did it all before heading over to my friend’s house for pot roast dinner. It was so much fun hanging out with her and her family. I am so glad this was planned so I didn’t have time to overthink my surgery tomorrow. I am feeling oddly calm and ready, but I just want to get it over with already.

I went to bed pretty early and felt good about the accomplishments today. Especially knowing I won’t be able to do much at all this week.

Thank you for your message. I am currently out of office — but not for much longer.

My mom and I spent the day volunteering with one of our favorite organizations. It was great, but I was feeling really tired and not as into it as I usually am. Anyway, I am glad we did it and were able to help as much as we could.

I came home to find the boys over, so I will be getting back to playtime instead of shower and quiet time. It is okay though, I do really love hanging out with them.

I need to do quite a few tasks before surgery day is here so probably will spend most of the day tomorrow doing those.

Thank you for your message. I am currently out of office — but not for much longer.