Something for the men in the audience because I think a lot of us don’t necessarily get explicit training on this.

I was fortunate enough to be trained as a high school teacher, so I did get explicit instruction on this: I was told to not be alone with students with the door closed, to not touch or hug students, and to be constantly aware of, basically, the worst possible interpretation someone could put on your conduct.

“But I’m not a teacher!” you say. Okay, but the same rule applies. You’re gregarious and social and want to talk to people but have no creepy intent? Sorry, but creepy guys have ruined this for you.

“It’s not fair for people to assume I’m creepy!” That is true. It’s also not fair that women get sexually harassed. They’re playing the odds here, willing to forgo knowledge of you personally in order to protect themselves from potential creeps. You don’t want women to consider you a potential creep? You need to go out of your way to show them that you’re not.

Let’s start with physical space. If possible (obviously if you’re jammed into a packed subway car it’s not, but otherwise), give women more space than you think they need. And if you’re walking in the same direction as them, maybe cross the street or slow down to give them space or speed up to get past them. Just send the message that you are about your own business and not trying to interact with them. “Geez! That seems like a lot of work!” It’s not actually that much work. It’s just a small exercise in empathy. Now obviously if you’re on a crowded street it’s different, but if you’re the only ones on the block? Especially if it’s nightttime? Give her some space. Now give her some more space.

Now on to conversations. Again, you need to remember that every time you open your mouth to talk to a woman you don’t know, you’re setting off her creep alarm. Perhaps your intentions are innocent, but what’s happening here is especially unfair because you get to be relaxed and she gets to be tense, waiting for the conversation to take a turn, or just resentful because she doesn’t get to decide whether she’s having a conversation on this flight.

“But people like to talk to me!” Do they, though? Because you should know that most women are very good at humoring men. Perhaps they’re like the woman I saw on a recent train ride who spent the entire length of Connecticut being regaled by a guy, said, “it was such a pleasure to talk to you!” to him as she got off the train, and then slumped, laughing and exhausted, against her companion as soon as she was off the train and out of sight.

Now if you’re a gay man or a trans man, do these rules still apply? Yep! You still need to give women personal space and assume they don’t want to talk to you.

But what if you’re neurodivergent? Irrelevant! Giving women extra space and not forcing conversation on women are within the capability of every single neurodivergent person I know. Except for the ones who use their neurodivergence as an excuse for being an asshole. Don’t be that guy.

But how will I flirt and find a romantic and/or sexual partner? By meeting someone at a party, or being introduced by friends, or because you’re both working in your community garden plots or because your kids are in the same first grade class or whatever! Demonstrate that you are a person with interests and not just a random perv, and then women will talk to you! If they feel like! And not if they don’t! And that’s okay!

This marks the day before my last day. It could be one day, one week, one month, or longer… only time will tell how long I'll be out. I have not felt the same amount of motivation to track this blog as I did last week when I started, but I think that is what makes it a good challenge. I also think the emotional toll will start showing more as we continue.

Now I feel like I procrastinated the last bit of what I have to do and left it entirely for the last day. I need to finish up between today and tomorrow so we will keep this short.

This is my last Monday. I feel tired today and don’t have much else to say…

I would have probably sat with some uncomfortable feelings today had I not signed myself up to volunteer for eight hours. I am dreading the next few days of work a little bit, but mostly because it is my last three days and I am feeling tired. There is also the fact that I don’t actually have any work to do so I am really just going to hang out but not do anything besides sit at a desk in front of a computer. I can’t even try to make myself useful, since I would only be able to complete projects that don’t take more than three days.

It hasn’t fully hit me that after Wednesday my schedule will look a little different. I am taking it one day at a time, but I am ready for rest and time to reevaluate a lot in my life.

Where is my God in this moment of abandonment?

And here I am, having to find a way to say goodbye.

Ground I have learned well, A road become well traveled.

For what else is there but to live in the desert of my existence, apart from you— the only real oasis I have ever known.

So go— send me to my banishment, like Moses in his wandering years.

Only my return will not herald deliverance, nor lead anyone home— only mark the end of a long, lonely life,

that grows lonelier still.

---

I cannot wait to see you again... to feel you again.

To hear the air vibrate from you again.

---

#poetry #wyst #FM

When a people forgets how to blush, warning becomes mercy’s final language.

Jeremiah 4–6 is a fierce warning that Judah and Jerusalem have reached a breaking point: Jehovah calls them to return sincerely, not with ritual or empty words, but with cleansed hearts and real justice. The people refuse correction, trust false promises of peace, exploit the vulnerable, and reject the “good way,” so disaster from the north is pictured as an unstoppable invasion. Yet even in judgment, Jehovah says he will not make a complete extermination, leaving a narrow thread of mercy inside an otherwise terrifying message.

Jeremiah 4

“If you will return, O Israel,” declares Jehovah, “If you will return to me And if you will remove your disgusting idols from before me, Then you will not be a fugitive. And if you swear, ‘As surely as Jehovah is alive!’ in truth, justice, and righteousness, Then the nations will obtain a blessing for themselves by him, And in him they will boast.”

For this is what Jehovah says to the men of Judah and to Jerusalem: “Plow for yourselves arable land, And do not keep sowing among thorns. Circumcise yourselves to Jehovah, And remove the foreskins of your hearts, You men of Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem, So that my wrath may not blaze up like a fire And burn with no one to extinguish it, Because of your evil deeds.”

Declare it in Judah, and proclaim it in Jerusalem. Shout and blow a horn throughout the land. Call out loudly and say: “Gather together, And let us flee into the fortified cities. Raise a signal toward Zion. Seek shelter, and do not stand still,” For I am bringing in calamity from the north, a great crash. He has emerged like a lion from his thicket; The destroyer of nations has set out. He has gone out from his place to make your land an object of horror. Your cities will be reduced to ruins, without an inhabitant. Therefore, put on sackcloth, Mourn and wail, Because the burning anger of Jehovah has not turned away from us.

“In that day,” declares Jehovah, “the heart of the king will fail him, Also the heart of the princes; The priests will be horrified, and the prophets will be amazed.”

Then I said: “Alas, O Sovereign Lord Jehovah! Truly you have utterly deceived this people and Jerusalem, saying, ‘You will have peace,’ when the sword is at our throats.”

At that time it will be said to this people and to Jerusalem: “A scorching wind from the barren hills of the desert Will sweep down on the daughter of my people; It is not coming to winnow or to cleanse. The full wind comes from these places at my bidding. Now I will pronounce judgments against them. Look! He will come like rain clouds, And his chariots are like a storm wind. His horses are swifter than eagles. Woe to us, for we are ruined! Wash your heart clean of wickedness, O Jerusalem, in order to be saved. How long will you harbor wicked thoughts? For a voice tells the news from Dan, And it proclaims disaster from the mountains of Eʹphra·im. Report it, yes, to the nations; Proclaim it against Jerusalem.”

“Sentinels are coming from a distant land, And they will raise their voices against the cities of Judah. They come against her on all sides like guards of the open field, Because she has rebelled against me,” declares Jehovah.

“Your own ways and your actions will be brought upon you. How bitter is your disaster, For it reaches clear to your heart!”

O my anguish, my anguish! I feel great pain in my very heart. My heart pounds within me. I cannot keep silent, For I have heard the sound of the horn, The alarm signal of war. Disaster after disaster has been reported, For the whole land has been destroyed. Suddenly my own tents are destroyed, In a moment my tent cloths. How long will I keep seeing the signal, Keep hearing the sound of the horn?

“For my people are foolish; They take no note of me. They are stupid sons, with no understanding. They are clever enough when it comes to doing bad, But they do not know how to do good.”

I saw the land, and look! it was empty and desolate. I looked at the heavens, and their light was no more. I saw the mountains, and look! they were quaking, And the hills were shaking. I saw, and look! there was no man, And the birds of the heavens had all fled. I saw, and look! the orchard had become a wilderness, And its cities had all been torn down. It was because of Jehovah, Because of his burning anger.

For this is what Jehovah says: “The whole land will become desolate, But I will not carry out a complete extermination. For this reason the land will mourn, And the heavens above will become dark. It is because I have spoken, I have decided, And I will not change my mind, nor will I turn back from it. At the sound of the horsemen and the archers, The entire city flees. They enter into the thickets, And they climb the rocks. Every city is abandoned, And no man dwells in them.”

Now that you are devastated, what will you do? You used to clothe yourself with scarlet, To deck yourself with gold ornaments, And to enlarge your eyes with black paint. But it is in vain that you beautified yourself, For those lusting after you have rejected you; They are now seeking to take your life. For I have heard the sound like that of a sick woman, The distress like that of a woman giving birth to her first child, The voice of the daughter of Zion who keeps gasping for breath. She says as she spreads out her palms: “Woe to me, for I am exhausted because of the killers!”

Jeremiah 5

Roam the streets of Jerusalem. Look around and take note. Search her public squares to see Whether you can find a man who acts with justice, One who seeks to be faithful, And I will forgive her. Even if they say: “As surely as Jehovah is alive!” They would still swear to what is false. O Jehovah, do your eyes not look for faithfulness? You struck them, but it made no impact on them. You exterminated them, but they refused to accept discipline. They made their faces harder than a rock, And they refused to turn around.

But I said to myself: “Surely these must be the lowly. They act foolishly, for they do not know the way of Jehovah, The judgment of their God. I will go to the prominent men and speak with them, For they must have taken note of the way of Jehovah, The judgment of their God. But they had all broken the yoke And torn apart the restraints.”

That is why a lion of the forest attacks them, A wolf of the desert plains keeps ravaging them, A leopard lies awake at their cities. Everyone going out from them is torn to pieces. For their transgressions are many; Their acts of unfaithfulness are numerous.

How can I forgive you for this? Your sons have abandoned me, And they swear by what is no God. I satisfied their needs, But they kept committing adultery, And they flocked to the house of a prostitute. They are like eager, lustful horses, Each neighing after another man’s wife.

“Should I not call them to account for these things?” declares Jehovah. “Should I not avenge myself on such a nation?”

“Come up against her vineyard terraces and bring ruin, But do not make a complete extermination. Take away her spreading shoots, For they do not belong to Jehovah. For the house of Israel and the house of Judah Have been utterly treacherous with me,” declares Jehovah.

“They have denied Jehovah, and they keep saying, ‘He will do nothing. No calamity will come upon us; We will not see sword or famine.’ The prophets are full of wind, And the word is not in them. Let this happen to them!”

Therefore this is what Jehovah, the God of armies, says: “Because these men are saying this, Here I am making my words a fire in your mouth, And this people is the wood, And it will consume them.”

“Here I am bringing in on you a nation from far away, O house of Israel,” declares Jehovah. “It is an enduring nation. It is an ancient nation, A nation whose language you do not know, And whose speech you cannot understand. Their quiver is like an open grave; All of them are warriors. They will devour your harvest and your bread. They will devour your sons and your daughters. They will devour your flocks and your herds. They will devour your vines and your fig trees. They will destroy with the sword your fortified cities in which you trust.”

“But even in those days,” declares Jehovah, “I will not carry out a complete extermination of you. And when they ask, ‘Why has Jehovah our God done all these things to us?’ you should answer them, ‘Just as you abandoned me to serve a foreign god in your land, so you will serve foreigners in a land that is not yours.’”

Declare this in the house of Jacob, And proclaim it in Judah, saying: “Hear this, you foolish and senseless people: They have eyes but cannot see; They have ears but cannot hear. ‘Do you not fear me?’ declares Jehovah, ‘Should you not tremble before me? It is I who placed the sand as the boundary for the sea, A permanent regulation that it cannot pass over. Although its waves toss, they cannot prevail; Although they roar, they still cannot pass beyond it. But this people has a stubborn and rebellious heart; They have turned aside and gone their own way. And they do not say in their heart: “Let us now fear Jehovah our God, The One who gives the rain in its season, Both the autumn rain and the spring rain, The One who guards for us the appointed weeks of the harvest.” Your own errors have prevented these things from coming; Your own sins have deprived you of what is good. For among my people there are wicked men. They keep peering, as when birdcatchers crouch down. They set a deadly trap. It is men whom they catch. Like a cage full of birds, So their houses are full of deception. That is why they have become powerful and rich. They have grown fat and smooth; They overflow with evil. They do not plead the legal case of the fatherless, That they may gain success; And they deny justice to the poor.’”

“Should I not call them to account for these things?” declares Jehovah. “Should I not avenge myself on such a nation? Something appalling and horrible has occurred in the land: The prophets prophesy lies, And the priests dominate by their own authority. And my own people love it that way. But what will you do when the end comes?”

Jeremiah 6

Take shelter, O sons of Benjamin, away from Jerusalem. Blow the horn in Te·koʹa; Light a fire signal over ! For a calamity looms from the north, a great disaster. The daughter of Zion resembles a beautiful and delicate woman. The shepherds and their droves will come. They will pitch their tents all around her, Each grazing the flock in his care.

“Prepare for war against her! Rise up, and let us attack her at midday!” “Woe to us, for the day is declining, For the shadows of evening are getting longer!” “Rise up, and let us attack during the night And destroy her fortified towers.”

For this is what Jehovah of armies says: “Cut down wood and raise up a siege rampart against Jerusalem. She is the city that must be held to account; There is nothing but oppression within her. As a cistern keeps its water cool, So she keeps her wickedness cool. Violence and destruction are heard in her; Sickness and plague are constantly before me. Be warned, O Jerusalem, or I will turn away from you in disgust; I will make you desolate, a land without inhabitants.”

This is what Jehovah of armies says: “They will thoroughly glean the remnant of Israel as the last grapes on a vine. Pass your hand again like one gathering grapes from the vines.”

“To whom should I speak and give warning? Who will listen? Look! Their ears are closed, so that they are unable to pay attention. Look! The word of Jehovah has become something they scorn; They find no pleasure in it. So I am filled with the wrath of Jehovah, And I am tired of holding it in.”

“Pour it out on the child in the street, On the groups of young men gathered together. They will all be captured, a man along with his wife, The old men along with the very old. Their houses will be turned over to others, Together with their fields and their wives. For I will stretch my hand out against the inhabitants of the land,” declares Jehovah.

“For from the least to the greatest, each one is making dishonest gain; From the prophet to the priest, each one is practicing fraud. And they try to heal the breakdown of my people lightly, saying, ‘There is peace! There is peace!’ When there is no peace. Do they feel ashamed of the detestable things they have done? They feel no shame at all! They do not even know how to feel humiliated! So they will fall among the fallen. When I bring punishment on them they will stumble,” says Jehovah.

This is what Jehovah says: “Stand at the crossroads and see. Ask about the ancient roadways, Ask where the good way is, and walk in it, And find rest for yourselves.” But they say: “We will not walk in it.”

“And I appointed watchmen who said, ‘Pay attention to the sound of the horn!’” But they said: “We will not pay attention.”

“Therefore hear, O nations! And know, O assembly, What will happen to them. Listen, O earth! I am bringing calamity on this people As the fruitage of their own schemes, For they paid no attention to my words And they rejected my law.”

“What do I care that you bring frankincense from Sheʹba And sweet cane from a distant land? Your whole burnt offerings are not acceptable, And your sacrifices do not please me.”

Therefore this is what Jehovah says: “Here I am setting for this people stumbling blocks, And they will stumble over them, Fathers and sons together, A neighbor and his companion, And they will all perish.”

This is what Jehovah says: “Look! A people is coming from the land of the north, And a great nation will be awakened from the remotest parts of the earth. They will grab hold of the bow and the javelin. They are cruel and will have no mercy. Their voice will roar like the sea, And they ride on horses. They draw up in battle order like a man of war against you, O daughter of Zion.”

We have heard the report about it. Our hands fall limp; Distress has seized us, Anguish like that of a woman giving birth. Do not go out into the field, And do not walk on the road, For the enemy has a sword; There is terror all around. O daughter of my people, Put on sackcloth and roll in the ashes. Mourn as for an only son, with bitter wailing, For suddenly the destroyer will come upon us.

“I have made you a metal tester among my people, One making a thorough search; You must take note and examine their way. All of them are the most stubborn men, Walking about as slanderers. They are like copper and iron; All of them are corrupt. The bellows have been scorched. Out from their fire there is lead. One keeps refining intensely simply for nothing, And those who are bad have not been separated. Rejected silver is what people will certainly call them, For Jehovah has rejected them.”

---

#BIBLE #JEREMIAH #reading

• Occult rituals in the Epstein files.

• “Just hang in there.” – Suzanne Vega for The Creative Independent.

• “An indie horror with internet origins has beaten the legacy franchise “Star Wars” at the box office this weekend.” – NBC news on the unexpected success of BACKROOMS and OBSESSION.

Migraine day today; No productivity for me.

#radar

druklame Dankzij Datae Banken, C_telen in de puntCom van Tijd

Op een gegeven ogenblik begin je te wiebelen neem je steeds een andere positie in omdat het niet lekker meer zit maar niet in onze zetels. Wij hebben ze ontwikkeld met speciaal universeel gecertificeerd Zit vermogen, daarmee kunt u tijden verpozen op die ene unieke locatie waar u onze stoel heeft laten installeren. Andere stoelen en banken gaan snel vervelen, worden op een zeker moment door kwade geesten bezeten, vreten energie terwijl u daar eigenlijk juist bent gaan zitten omdat niet te laten gebeuren. Uit onvrede en onrust door verkeerd zitten ontstaan bouwt u op u zitplek een emperium aan spullen om uw lijf en lede maten heen zodat u zich minder bewust bent van alle drukte in en om u heen, daar nerveus wriemelend en wroetend in spieren, organen, zenuw- en bloedbanen terwijl u enorm lijdt hangend op en aan u gemankeerde zitplek. Zittend op al onze Datae troon zetels komt u daarentegen juist tot zeer diepe rust. Allemaal dankzij het in ons lab ontwikkelde Zit vermogen, we hebben deze dan ook jaren voor aanvang elke dag op ieder moment en elke wijze getest, de zitters onderworpen aan elke mogelijke uitdaging, oorzaken waardoor u op iedere andere zetel iets zou doen waardoor u onnodig veel energie gebruikt, energie volgens ons alleen nodig voor heel stil zitten kijken naar een fictief punt ergens voor u zielen oog, niks meer en zeker niks minder dan echt niks.

Onze klanten zijn dan ook honderd procent tevreden, ze zeggen feitelijk allemaal 'dankzij jullie in mijn huis vastgepinde zetel heb ik pas echt goed leren zitten', 'Het duurt soms dagen voor ik opsta en ik geniet ondertussen van elk zinloos moment. Zonder echt goede rede sta ik niet eens meer op, niet voor de bel, niet om pakketjes te ontvangen, een natuurramp, insecten plaag, niet voor de gids of voor visite. Het zit gewoon wel goed. Waarom zou ik mij dan al die problemen op de hals halen. Ik raad iedereen deze zitplek aan!' zegt Van Voorbijgaande Aard een van Smægmå's bekendste inwoners en dan ook nog onze langst zittende klant.

We adviseren u wel op zijn minst twee maal per week een paar minuten te gaan staan, Dit vooral om u zit niveau te herladen en voor een diepere zetel intensiteit. U energie verbruik op onze Datae bank of stoel is zo laag dat u amper meer slaap nodig heeft dan de bank al voor u heeft ingesteld, zittend slapen is trouwens ook veel gezonder, Een aantal gram eten is genoeg voor 28 uur zetel genot, met twee handjes vol pindas en een banaan komt u de werkweek makkelijk door. Wat ons betreft hoeft u eenmaal daar op de aangeschafte plek deze nooit weer onnodig te verlaten. En weet u, zitten op andere zetels dan de onze is bewezen ongezond, slecht voor u lichaam en bijbehorende geest maar bij ons is het juist beter voor u, u leven gaat er zonder meer op vooruit, u heeft telkens voldoende energie voor helemaal niks doen en daar veel zin in.

De paar dingen die u nog bewegend moet doen zult u snel doen en tevens goed dat allemaal dankzij het door ons ontwikkelde zitwaar en zit vermogend concept, waarmee menselijke arbeid concentratie en focus op kortstondige interactie enorm worden verbeterd en daarnaast wilt u natuurlijk ook zo snel mogelijk weer gaan settelen op onze Datae troon dus sowieso al sneller beter handelen. Laat meteen Datae u dagelijks bestaan reguleren dan zit het ogenblikkelijk goed vast. Datae tronen leveren perfectie voor op bilnaad toegespitst leven. Zit! En Af! Nee, geen poot.

Episode 1 | Careless Whispers

Wakefield. July 2025. Dusk.

I’d had a tip-off that an old friend had fallen on hard times. As I walked under the arches of a disused bridge, broken glass cracked underfoot. Dogs barked. Couples argued. And with every step, the whispering got louder.

As I rounded a corner, I saw the shadow of something that, once upon a time, might have been a man. But now? The hair was long and shaggy, like a rabid dog had been given access to Just For Men and a mental breakdown. Nails stretched beyond what any sane person would consider acceptable, and a guttural noise began to fill the alleyway.

It couldn’t possibly be, could it?

“Barry?” I whispered, the words itching to come out but struggling at the same time.

“Agruondkjbwoin.”

Right then…

You see, since our escapades in FC26 had come to an abrupt end due to the fact that, well, it’s a fucking terrible game, times had been… difficult for Barry.

He was offered the Andorran U15s job but declined, stating that the mountain air would cause such a severe allergic reaction that he would have to be placed into a six-month induced coma.

Since then, there’d been nothing. And with no outlet for his strange little creative-yet-analytical brain, he’d started to go a bit… loopy.

I’d lost all contact with him when I returned home to Wakefield, but I did sometimes think I’d see a man lurking around Trinity Shopping Centre, hiding behind bins and old men named Jim.

I’d brushed this off as just my imagination, but now? I know the truth was much more desperate.

I knew that I needed to do something. I couldn’t leave him in this gibbering state, primed to get sexually assaulted by a badger, or worse, one of Wakefield’s finest ladies on a hen night.

I put my arm around him slowly, gently, and cradled his head for a moment.

“There, there, Barry, we’ll sort you out mate.”

“Hear me, distant albatross, the winds of chakfoib2foinwl…” he mumbled.

“What’s that, mate?” I politely asked.

“Hear me, distant albatross… the winds of change may carry you… to far away lands… in search of eternal… glory.”

Oh no. A prophecy.

I’d not heard one of those since he saw Tim Howard in his cornflakes. But this time, I knew what was coming.

Football Manager.

The Pentagon

Sadly, Barry’s prophecies are never about lottery numbers or affordable energy bills. They are, almost exclusively, about ruining my free time.

His prophecy stated far away lands, which can only mean one thing. The Pentagon Challenge.

The longest, most difficult task in Football Manager, the Pentagon Challenge tasks you with winning the five major continental club competitions:

• The UEFA Champions League (Europe)
• The CONCACAF Champions Cup (North America)
• AFC Champions League Elite (Asia)
• CAF Champions League (Africa)
• CONMEBOL Libertadores (South America)

And the hardest part? Start unemployed. No prior experience. No coaching badges. Except…

I do actually have a UEFA C License Coaching Badge. So I’m using it.

The Beginning

We’re going to begin our journey somewhere that will actually take a Sunday League jobber and his washed-up, psychic assistant manager… Asia.

Once Barry had been hosed down, shaved in the areas legally required, and placed within shouting distance of a laptop, we got to work.

Our first three applications are Kumamoto in Japan’s second division, Tochigi SC in Japan’s third division, and YB Longding in China’s First Division (who, weirdly, can’t sign non-Chinese goalkeepers. No, I don’t get it either).

Ten long days passed with Barry and me sitting by our fax machine. I’ve actually no idea why, because it’s not plugged in and no one uses fax anymore. Instead, we sat bolt upright as an email notification popped up, only to find it was HelloFresh sending us an offer for 10 free boxes.

As enticing as that is, we need a fox in the box, not fish in the post. But then… A JOB INTERVIEW!

YB Longding have got back to us and offered us an interview. First question: why don’t we speak Chinese. It’s not a bad question, to be honest, as it’s hardly a niche language.

Luckily Barry did an internship at a Chinese fishery when he was 27 and learnt enough to get by, and I lied and told them I can pick it up quickly (I absolutely can’t).

I then got asked why I was in the market for a number of jobs, and unfortunately there wasn’t an option to say ‘obviously because I’m out of fucking work you morons.’ Instead, I told them I’m merely considering my options.

Next up, they asked if I’m comfortable working with limited resources. Well, I’m currently working with no resources, so yeah, go on then.

Then came the big one: could I take them to the next level? As someone who took Halifax to world domination on FM Mobile 2005, I’m pretty confident I can do the job. Next!

I was then asked what changes I’d want to make to the backroom staff… well, I think my lads like Fat Rob the physio would follow me to the ends of the Earth, so I told them I’d have to take a look at everyone should I get the job (and immediately bin them off).

Finally, I was asked if I was happy to work with Xu Bo, the director of football. Unsure if this was Susan Boyle’s Chinese cousin, I just said yeah, why not. At least there is a director of football.

I had no requests, so I closed the Zoom call and sat back in my chair. Our first interview was done and dusted, now it was just a waiting game.

For five days. When we found out we didn’t get it.

Fuck.

Two days later, the Tochigi SC board informed me we’d been unsuccessful, and this suddenly felt like it was going to be much more difficult than we first thought.

During Sacktober, when FM clubs start firing managers like it’s a government initiative, Fukuoka, Thespa Gunma, Jubilo Iwata, Nagoya, Peng City, Yokohama FM, Daegu, Dewa United and Incheon United reviewed our application and collectively decided: absolutely fucking not.

Barry took the news badly, by which I mean he spent three hours facing a wall and whispering “Incheon” into a mug.

Southport offered us an interview, we declined. We’re not going for Europe yet.

Then, come December, we get two interview offers, both in Japan. The format is largely the same as before, as both Hachinohe and Ryukyu grill me on why I don’t know Japanese, whether I can keep a happy dressing room, and whether I want to stay for a long time. Obviously I lie like a Prince to make sure I say exactly what they want to hear.

AND WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT. A few days later, Ryukyu got in touch offering me a £1k-a-week contract to take over in the J3 League.

Barry licked the contract, declaring it “legally moist” and immediately began learning Japanese by shouting at Duolingo. We are fucking back, baby.

Boiled Eggs & Betrayal

On our flight over to Japan, Barry spent the entire first half of the journey drawing tactical shapes on a tea-stained boiled egg. I didn’t ask why. You learn not to.

As the cabin crew brought our evening meal, Barry grabbed one of the poor air stewards, Colin, by the collar. Terrified, but somehow unable to pull away, Colin could only listen as Barry named the three players he believes will betray me. One of them is Brazilian. One of them is a 16-year-old. And one of them is, somehow, me.

With that, Barry snapped back into his chair and instantly fell asleep for the final three hours.

The “AI” industry would like everyone to believe that we are experiencing a second industrial revolution. Up until recently, this was far from true. LLMs provided a significantly better way to do natural language analysis and transformations than traditional natural language processing. They definitely changed one domain, but produced garbage in others. The hype didn't match the reality, and, in a lot of ways, still doesn't. But things are going to change, and we should soberly assess why and how.

There are patterns that are similar to the Industrial Revolution, specifically around undermining independent skilled labor and destroying or enclosing commons. I think there's also a similar likelihood of revolution, if not even more revolutionary potential. The global wave of revolutions connected to industrialization mostly lead to some variant of liberalism, with greater or lesser degrees of compromise to prevent socialist revolution. The old order also developed an extremely authoritarian and system of crushing revolution that was, to some degree, internationally coordinated.

At the intersection of technology and climate change, we've already seen early waves going back to the Arab Spring. This was probably the first wave of modern revolutions. Back then, revolution in the imperial core seemed impossible with the rapid destruction of Occupy. Today, many of the countries where autocracies were overthrown rapidly returned to some autocratic form of government. But not all of them.

It's important to remember that the monarchies of their day also tried using authoritarianism to stop the future. Learn about Metternich and the Holy Alliance. There was a concerted international effort to crush the wave of liberal revolution that had been topping monarchies since the 1770s. In case you weren't aware, it didn't work.

Some monarchies were able to hold on to power for a while by tightly controlling technological advancement. This did not turn out well for them. While Belgium, the Netherlands, and the UK monarchs survived through massive concessions, the Romanov plan to hold on to everything did not turn out quite so well for, uh, anyone. The proto-fascism of various European powers from the late 1700s through the early 1900s could not ultimately save any of them.

Fascism is not sustainable. It is the fire of a collapsing star, growing even as it frantically consumes itself, a phase that can only be a prelude to explosion. The best it can hope to do is silence civil discourse, gaining some time in exchange for completely losing signal about when the collapse will come and by what means.

Of course, we all know that the liberal democracies that came out of the various Imperial collapses produced the more resilient aristocracy of capital. This aristocracy managed to untether itself from geographically local politics through “free trade,” where capital is free to roam the world while borders keep people in.

We see echoes of Metternich in regional governments supporting for the Junta of Myanmar against popular revolution. Even governments that otherwise (outwardly) disagree with the policies of the dictatorship, would still prefer a “stable trading partner” to a free people. In Syria, too, Turkey would prefer to annihilate Rojava while local powers look for ways to exploit the situation for their own interest. It's common to criticize people comparing Rojava to Anarchist Spain because they are such different situations. But there are parallels in how liberal democracies would prefer fascism to any alternative to liberalism.

There is, like Metternich believed, a natural order. That natural order is, of course, in the form of liberalism, not monarchy, but the underlying structural assumption remains the same even as the systems shift. Power is deeply uncreative.

It is with that lack of creativity that we should pivot back to the current moment. We keep being told that “GenAI” (the set of technologies based on large data sets and transformer models, of which LLMs are one such technology) will destroy art. They will not. Photography allowed anyone to perfectly represent an image. It changed painting, but it didn't destroy it.

Impressionism was a direct reaction to photography. Painters even emulated photographic elements, such as blur and depth of field, in ways that had not ever been imagined before. But the most important reaction was that painting focused more and more on emotion. A photograph with a skilled photographer can capture emotion, but it remains limited in ways that other visual arts are not. It is its own thing. Photography is a specific medium. People predicted that it would destroy painting. It didn't.

GenAI won't destroy visual art. They may change it. But there are feelings that can't be encoded in prompts because they can't be encoded in words. Visual art exists specifically because words categorically can't capture certain things.

But even art that is literally words, literary arts, are not something LLMs can do well. LLM text feels hollow because it is. Writing is, ultimately, a synesthetic activity (even for people without that specific neurodivergence). Words have sounds, they feel ways in your mouth, they're connected to other sensations. An LLM can say “kiki” and “bobo.” It can find statistical associations that make it almost seem as though it understands. But that's all it is, a statistical association. It's a stochastic representation of a hidden process. There's something underneath that, something that's ultimately indecipherable. That thing touches the nature of the universe.

You can't represent it statistically in one big model, because it's not even consistent. Language both discovers and creates those connections, which create and lead to the discovery of more. It's a tangled hierarchy. No LLM will ever be able to do that, because no LLM will have a body shaped by nature.

But not all writing is like this. Some technical writing is simply the dry regurgitation of facts. Bad technical writing anyway, and a lot of it is bad. LLMs can represent bad technical writing pretty well. They're trained on a lot of it. Where it's useful to have such things, LLMs can probably do that just fine.

And yet, a good technical writer is actually not far off from a good creative writer. They will tap in to emotions and images to make concepts obvious. They will be playful to make reading enjoyable (instead the expected horrible slog). LLMs will not do this. LLMs can construct metaphors that are optimized for LLMs, but they can't really optimize for humans because they can't experience the world in a human body. They don't have eyes, ears, or feelings connected to millions of years of evolution.

Even things we are told that LLMs are good at, like text summarization, relies on hidden context. Summarization is necessarily lossy. What you is chosen to keep vs lose depends on the purpose of the summarization. It also depends on the frame within which you're operating. A text can only be summarized well if the summarizer has a model of the reader that includes information about things that they already know (which can be safely dropped), things that they don't know or that may conflict with their existing beliefs (which are essential to highlight).

Today GenAI images and videos have become the ascetics of modern fascism. Fascists use GenAI because no one would actually put in the time and effort to make the horrible images they want to exist. But even more than that, fascists hate art and artists. They hate it because can't control it and they don't understand it. They tell everyone that GenAI will destroy art, in the hopes that it will manifest.

GenAI will not destroy art. It can't. But perhaps in a generation or two, after this wave of fascists succumbs to entropy, GenAI might become another creative tool. In the meantime, I expect art to emphasize what can't be replaced: oil paintings having more texture, writing more focused on emotion, etc.

But there are things that GenAI may well replace. Protein folding is essentially a solved problem now, specifically because of GenAI. It had required humans. There was a huge project where humans would manually fold models of proteins. That created a massive data set, which can now solve for arbitrary proteins. Humans are, of course, still critical to pharmaceutical development, but one boring job is gone.

Web design is “solved.” A human is no longer needed to make something that's “close enough” to customer expectations. If the cost is low enough, then people will compromise. A lot of web design has always been the awful work of just making things look the same, or at least look good, on different platforms. That integration problem should absolutely go away. It's not creative, it's just technical noodling.

However, a good web designer doesn't just “make exactly what the customer wants.” A good web designer makes the right thing for the client. They know that the thing the customer wants will look awful, will not work, will convey things that are not culturally appropriate to their target audience. Anyone skilled in any service role is actually good because they can convince their customer that the thing they want is actually bad. An LLM will never do that.

But if LLMs are “good enough” to do the basic jobs, and they're cheap, then designers never get to learn. They never get to build the skills needed to help people not just implement their vision, but shift it to integrate the knowledge of a skilled artisan.

And that's the shift I expect to see.

I think we're moving into a factory model of technology, where software and digital artifacts can be produced in a way that “good enough” but the market is so flooded with cheap garbage that people can't afford to learn to make things better. The same economics that drive planned obsolescence will drive digital artifacts. This is most obvious in software right now, with people creating mountains of unmaintainable code that does some basic thing then breaks as soon as features start being added.

We already live in a world where technology is always broken. That will only get worse, if we let it.

Technical security has always been arcane and mostly invisible. For decades everything was vulnerable and most people weren't aware. Over time people started to become more and more aware, both as security people started getting better at explaining the risks to media (see FireSheep), and as more stuff got visibly hacked. At this point, nearly everyone has had their government records, financial records, or medical records leaked on the Internet at least once or twice. Passwords get leaked so often that Have I Been Pwned is a whole project, with 17 billion records. And yes. The answer is yes.

There are a bunch of IOT automatic tank gauges (ATG) exposed directly to the Internet. Apparently if you log in and tell them they're rotated a whole bunch of times, they catch fire. I say “log in” as though they all have passwords set, as though those passwords that do exist can't be easily guessed or even derived. That article talks about 900 of them. These have been known about for a long time, and the same article cited 6k during their previous scan.

Your hospital has been owned. MRIs don't get updated because each update has to go through the FDA. Those machines get plugged in to the Internet, they're running some outdated version of Windows, and they get hacked. Hospital security lets them get hacked because, they hope, the hackers will patch to keep other people out and the legit admins can't patch.

That's where we were before all of this LLM stuff. What we have today makes that look like Fort Knox.

People are vibe coding MCP servers using LLMs trained on decades of insecure trash. Then they tell you to install their tools remotely, so there's code you don't control running on your system. Great, it's a chance for a supply chain attack every time you restart the service. But worse still, there's natural language malware. We can finally have an autonomously polymorphic worm. At some point that's gonna intersect with Spiralism, and we'll get a memetic worm that crosses the boundary between humans and machines and back. We already have tons of AI propaganda (which, was always predictable).

With malicious skills and agent files, malicious MCP servers, and people building systems with basically no isolation, it's just a catastrofuck. It's so deeply hopeless that half of the MCP github pages are just like “YOLO, just pipe curl directly into bash disabling all security checks, lol!” LLMs have essentially infinite attack surface since it's all of natural language connected directly to some code exec or another. But what's the proposed solution? Just put an LLM in the middle to review all the LLM generated stuff. Nothing could go wrong. Oh, right, the “AI security” agent is just an LLM, which means it's also more attack surface.

None of this is actually impossible to fix. Humans have been the weakest link in security for a long time. We understand how to design systems that assume compromise. We just aren't doing that because “move fast!!” Fixing these problems requires actual focused engineering from a human. You can't vibe this shit.

Unfortunately, it's not profitable to slow down. We already see that if everyone is always getting owned, then there's no incentive to distinguish yourself as a company with security. Clearly, no one cares. There's obviously no demand. Why waste the money? Just check the boxes and pay the fines. They're cheaper than the security spend anyway. Welcome to the yolo economics of late stage capitalism.

But we can only be forced to accept this state of things if we don't have any alternative. Which is, of course, why “AI” is trashing open source right now. I'm not saying it's intentional or that it's a conspiracy. It's not. But there is a systemic incentive to destroy those commons, to drain them. There have been very intentional efforts in the past, specifically by Microsoft, to “embrace, extend, extinguish” open source projects. LLMs provide an opportunity to hypercharge that.

Basically every company relies on open source at some level, and for most it's almost their whole stack. Most of them don't give back. Everyone freaks out when a tiny bit of investment into security reveals a bunch of kernel bugs. Yeah, “many eyes make bugs shallow” only works if people are actually putting eyes on it. Commons have to be maintained. People have to put resource in, not just take them out. And now we're seeing the extractive collapse of our critical digital commons.

Well, I say people need to put resources in, but it actually matters what goes in. If you take water from a lake and dump sewage in, it's not exactly “managing the commons.” But yeah, that raw sewage into our metaphorical lake is also happening at the same time. I don't know what the digital equivalent of cholera is, but get ready for it.

So there we have it: enclosure/destruction of the commons, attacks on skilled labor, centralization of power, growing authoritarianism. They keep saying it's like the industrial revolution, and, yeah, there are definitely some parallels. Those aren't the only ones, I assure you.

What do we do about it? Yeah, I don't fucking know. I'm just throwing this out here because no single one of us is going to figure it out alone. We're only going to create a better world if we know what we're up against, and we choose to build it together.

I had my therapy session again today, and it helped me recognize how a lot of the things that I wish I had Come from social media. It’s not actually real stuff, similar to how if I look at photos I take after social events I host or things like that it must seem like I have this massive wonderful friend group. Almost to prove my point, K messaged me after seeing my story saying that she wishes that she had friends like that. I think that’s like another sign of divine intervention here, essentially showing my lesson is true, because what she saw was the life that I wished that I had. And do you see the irony there? And so I kind of recognized that the lies that look wonderful are similar to mine.

Vi har allerede hatt full stopp i utbygginga av fornybar energi i mange år. Nå sørger Rødt for flertall med høyresida for å bråbremse havvindsatsingen også. Samtidig sørger “Norgespris” for at nordmenn dropper å installere solceller og sparer strøm, og vi struper utvekslingen med strøm med utlandet. Vi er landet som har blitt for dumt. 

Partiene på høyresida er svært ivrige på å bygge ut atomkraft, som vil bli langt dyrere enn havvind, og ikke er realistisk på minst 15 år. I mellomtiden skal vi altså stoppe havvind-prosjekter som allerede er i gang. Det er oppskrift på et fattigere og gråere Norge, som faller enda mer akterut i den globale utviklingen. 

Når Stortinget vil bruke titalls milliarder på å subsidiere strømsløsing og bruk av bensin og diesel skjer det uten utredning, og milliardene får rulle uten kostnadskontroll. Heisann, Norgespris ble dobbelt så dyrt som vi trodde? Ingen grunn til å trekke i nødbremsen! At solcellebransjen ligger med brukket rygg er en liten pris å betale. Hva skal vi vel med nye næringer? Olja tar vel aldri slutt? 

Rødt er glade i å skryte av den rene norske kraftkrevende industrien, basert på vannkraft. Men hvis denne industrien ikke fantes, og utenlandske kapitalister hadde foreslått å etablere smelteverk basert på vannkraft i vakre vestlandsfjorder i dag, ville Rødt garantert vært mot. Man kan ikke bygge ren industri hvis man er opptatt av å gå fremst i hvert demonstrasjonstog. Rødt fremstår hverken som et klimaparti eller et industriparti. Her er det viktigst å please Motvind, ikke industri og fagbevegelse. 

Hver gang oljenæringa mumler om “forutsigbarhet” kaster Stortingsflertallet alt de har i hendene, og gir oljebransjen MER enn de ber om. Oljeskattepakka er det grelleste eksempelet. I ettertid innrømte Erna Solberg at Stortinget hadde mistet hodet. Nå mister Høyre hodet igjen, og sørger for nøyaktig det motsatte av forutsigbarhet for norsk industri. For en farse.

It is still Monday in parts of Canada as I post this. And it sure as shoot is still Monday in Japan.

There are some artists that translate Japanese music from Anime and Video Games and just... rock it solid. So here are some favourites.

Mashle OP Season 2: Bling-Bang-Bang-Born (English Cover) Will Stetson also has a great cover of the Dandadan OP, but Mashle. This cover is just so perfectly executed, and inspired this whole playlist.

Kamen Rider 01: REALxEYEZ (FULL ENGLISH COVER) Have I mentioned I love Toku today? Zero One started off the Reiwa era with a banger theme, and Mark de Groot and Mr. Goatee just nail it.

Spice and Wolf – “Tabi no Tochuu” (FULL Opening) Amanda Lee, alias LeeandLie, alias AmaLee, alias Monarch, alias the Scuff Queen. I should have known you'd be here. Fits your MO, too. Take an awesome anime theme, translate it, and sing it over awesome orchestration. You're lucky I have other perps to deal with, scram. What? No, no I just got some sniff finger print dust in my eye...

One Punch Man Season One OPENING: The Hero – Jam Project Jonathan Young... did know Jam is a group, right? He didn't have to do it alone. I wonder what it took to prepare... I'm guessing here, but... 100 HOURS OF SHREDDING! 100 HOURS OF DRUM WORK! And, a brisk run up and down his ENTIRE VOCAL SCALE!

My Hero Academia: The Day FULL OPENING (OP 1) Nathan Smith, Nathan Sharp, NateWantsToBattle. This is here because Nate's cover made me actually give a bloody damn about anything My Hero related. I don't hate it, mind. It just never grabbed me. This cover does.

NARUTO SHIPPUDEN OPENING 4: CLOSER This is my favourite Naruto OP. It's also our first example of “translated by the original artist” as Joe Inoue did the original and this English version.

Fairy Tail, OP Season 1: Snow Fairy This song is literally the extent of my Fairy Tail fandom. To make this list, the cover had to make me do what the original did. Inexplicably tear up. And, well, Studio Yuraki gets the award.

Cowboy Bebop ED: Real Folk Blues Most covers either just do the TV size or otherwise abridge this. Caroline Gordan / Caroline Makes Music commits to the whole thing, and by sauce she nails it.

By Caroline Makes Music

Nero's Battle Theme (Devil May Cry): Devil Trigger I had to get Mr. “Can I stop playing Metrovania now” RichaadEB in here, and while his Bad Apple cover is great... this turns any voice call into karaoke. Lollia and LittleVMills on vocals, all these voices inside of my head...

Kamen Rider Build: Be The One (English Ver.) This isn't the only Kamen Rider song sung in English and Japanese by the same person. But it is scientifically the best one. I have already performed the experiment. Beverly nails the track again with Pandora's backing.

SPY x FAMILY OP 1: Mixed Nuts Hey, I didn't know the Scuff Queen's tech support guy could sing! What's next, a duet with John VTuber or Rin Penrose? Why are there angry VTubing fans at my door?

The Galaxy Express 999 (English Version) Welcome to the “We can do our own damn song in English!” club, Godiego. This is, of course, the END theme to the classic anime Fate/Stay— wait, an Iron Mouse fan from our previous entry has gently vetoed this gag... Hat tip to Rycochet for reminding me Godiego did this quite a few times.

Lower One's Eyes (English Cover) So, I wanted another Will Stetson song here. This is essentially a dub of the AMV of the original song, which was pitched to me as (checks notes) Judas betraying Jesus but it's tragic yuri with a witch and maid. Let me put on my best ProZD impression, ahem. Okay.

Plastic Love It should not have taken a nice member of the Beige Party, Jessica, to remind me that Caitlin Myers covered Mariya Takeuchi's awesome city pop track Plastic Lover— especially since this is the song where (as one commentator notes) I keep expecting the singing to start a bar and a half earlier!

Mimukauwa Nice Try (English) The anthem of all those who are totally going to win at Uno— DAMN IT THAT'S THE THIRD WILD DRAW FOUR FROGGIESINGER!

Sanctuary (Opening) Jessica put this to mind too. I have never played Kingdom Hearts because I fear it will consume me. But Utada's vocal work for it in Japanese and English... it is a siren song...

Overlord III – “Voracity” (Opening) Amalee gets another feature, and gad this is note perfect, down to the “two three fours”. A true ode to the glorious, all consuming sublime existence of Nazarick.

For the first time in my life I stopped going to church. After about a month of not attending, a couple things I remember.

1. The last day I went, a girl in my cell group was engaged, nearing marriage, and she was almost in tears as she described the feeling she had, that “she really felt in her heart that God wanted her to be happy,” as she described the newfound good things that happened to her. Maybe she meant that she had simply found joy in God alone, but from the context of describing all the ups of life coming her way, I lightly interpreted it as “Good things are happening – God must want me to be happy.” But after mulling over it for a couple weeks, I disagree with that sentiment. God makes you happy despite the circumstances. Actually, he may give you miserable circumstances, and He will still command you to joy. I say this from the perspective of someone that is chronically unhappy. I was afraid to say this before because I was afraid people would not believe God because of me or turn away from Christianity, but I am chronically unhappy. I don’t know if I’ve ever been happy in my entire life. In the few moments I have felt genuinely content, I’ve felt a deep sense of fear, longing, like something was off and everything would implode the next hour.

2. During my last cell group, I described how two months ago, I just gave up on the whole thing I was doing with faith, everything, because I couldn’t do it anymore. I was just miserable, and faith was making me more miserable. They looked concerned and offered me kind words, and said I should take some time off if I was struggling. I’m certain they actually cared. I was grateful for that.

New things:

1. My mind feels much more receptive to the vast possibilities of the world and life. My relationship with theology, the Church, was that there was a right answer, and that I was bound under tight moral quandraries. There were places my mind was allowed to go, and places where it was not. Things I wanted to say but did not let myself, now I speak freely. I feel the chains falling away. Maybe this is what other people just normally feel like all the time? It’s rather nice. I feel more human. I feel less trapped. I’m letting myself be a little delusional, chase ambition, the rather inconsequential things of this life that other people chase, and whatnot. Things I was already chasing before, now I chase more eagerly, openly, and guilt-free.

2. I realize how much of a time and energy sink going to church on Sundays was. Now I feel like I can actually relax on the weekend.

3. I’m trying more to do things I wouldn’t do because “a good Christian wouldn’t.” In some ways, I kind of hope I hit some kind of rock bottom. Maybe I just need to hit it hard enough to bounce back.

4. How did I come to associate the whole thing of Christianity with only the negative, so much that I detest even the idea of talking with other Christians, and going to church at all? Was there really so little happiness in that entire ordeal that I remember nothing positive and only the negative? To me right now, it seems even the positive was always tinged with the negative, the underlying feeling that I was not enough. Guilt. Punishment. Wanting to kill myself. Self-denial. Forcing myself to do things I did not want to. Emotional repression. Common themes.