from Phantasms

“Those who are at war with others, are not at peace with themselves.” – William Hazlit ~Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/CR6YO82ny7F/?utm_medium=copy_link

Makes sense. And is similar to the idea that, the negative comments and criticism that you get online, is not a reflection of you, but rather, a reflection of the person giving out the criticism.

That said, this also goes the other way. If you are the one always giving out negative comments and always criticizing other people, then what does it say about you?

#Quotes #Psychology

 
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from ein sof

tu écoutes la balle qui te découpe te tranche la chair jusqu'à ce que tu entendes la lumière qui te traverse & tu lâches à la nuit & la nuit te rattrape avant qu'elle ne s'éteigne elle était cette belle nuit des marges un dernier rire à la nuit & tu y laisses n'y délaisses rien ou si peu & y passes trépasses une dernière fois tu effaces tes pas tes ombres le chemin le monde & du chemin sans égard tu effaces jusqu'au souvenir de l'ombre la première qui nia le jour pour ce qui en toi continue encore à te fuir & tu écoutes le calibre ce petit bruit que la modernité a pu enfanter tout auprès de toi cliquetis qu'étouffe la tempe la solitude s'épanche sur une fresque anonyme peinture fraîche matière grise lavis des chambres égarées tu écoutes la drogue qui s'effrite te ripe t'étripe comment & comment ça se termine les ombres le chemin le monde sans fumée l'histoire sans toi ça chemine de misère en misère tu écoutes encore un peu le sang qui goutte à l'âme son absence réminiscence d'absence le manque la gêne en cette bouteille qui coûte que coûte-t-elle rien ou si peu mais ça te coûte de t'avouer que l'ambre avait la moiteur de la fugue & des éboulements tu écoutes la cicatrice qui se grave te cale t'encastre parmi les ruines & les fossiles pendant que toi tu travailles ton foie ta foi & d'éther tu paves calfates tout ce qui s'élève que tu végètes ou non sous terre ils te le disent gagne-la ta peau elle ne vaut rien mais trime & traîne ta morgue jusqu'au-dedans de toi & tu écoutes y écoutes le silence au-dedans & au-dedans de toi sans racines la mémoire qui s'effile la porte le chômage l'usine délocalisée la race qu'ils te disent la race ou la rage que tu ne te dis à la lie le formol tu le bois encore & ça te décolle l'avant-bras car tout système vasculaire vit en périphérie des systèmes économiques d'une faille à l'autre on y gratte la fêlure & tes membres qui se piquent de remembrances sans sommation sous la peau la couleur identique identité incertaine qui se déverse tu la perds & rêves sans trêve que ça flotte loin avec ce que tu y places de désespoir dans le soir au loin mais tu n'y écoutes au loin que l'artère & ses voitures vides où tu t'enterres où tu t'entombes où s'écroulent les semaines les jours à attendre la semaine le jour la chaux & au jour chômé tu n'y reviens & n'y reviendras plus à l'assistance il ne reste rien de social du social de la société où tu tombes t'entombes & la cité s'en fiche te fiche tout au plus la paix cette cité qui s'échappe t'écharpe & tu échoues n'y échoues en l'ailleurs ce recommencement pareil & sans toi mais sans toi ils laveront le sang te trouveront un trou pour que tu y retrouves tout l'oubli du monde le chemin les ombres le globe la balle & sa chaleur.

#fragment

 
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from Phil Rowlands

Hello, my friends!

Today, let's continue with the remarkable story of Paul, a man whose life was marked by incredible trials and divine interventions. In Acts 23, we find Paul standing before the Sanhedrin, facing accusations and hostility. Despite the grim circumstances, Paul's story is a testament to the unwavering presence of Christ and the purpose that transcends our immediate trials.

Friends, imagine the scene: Paul, a Roman citizen, standing before the Jewish Sanhedrin after being rescued from a mob by Roman soldiers. The high priest, Ananias, orders Paul to be struck on the mouth for asserting his good conscience. This act was a blatant violation of Jewish law, revealing Ananias as a hypocrite—a whitewashed wall, as Paul rightly called him. This incident underscores a profound truth: our conscience must be informed by the truth of God's Word. Paul's conscience, though once misinformed, was now guided by the truth of Christ.

The events that followed highlight the complexity of Paul's situation. Accused of defiling the temple and inciting riots, Paul faced a biased and hostile council. Yet, amidst the chaos, Paul strategically declared his belief in the resurrection, a doctrine that divided his accusers. This clever move caused a dispute between the Pharisees and Sadducees, leading to his temporary removal by Roman soldiers for his safety. Here, we see Paul's wisdom and reliance on God's guidance.

Friends, what would be going through Paul's mind at this moment? Standing before the Sanhedrin, the same council that condemned Jesus, Paul must have felt the weight of history and the enormity of his situation. But in Acts 23:11, we see a beautiful moment: “But the following night the Lord stood by him and said, 'Be of good cheer, Paul; for as you have testified for Me in Jerusalem, so you must also bear witness at Rome.'” Jesus himself stood by Paul, reassuring him of his divine purpose. This is a powerful reminder that no matter how dire our circumstances, God's purpose for our lives is greater.

In life, we often face situations that seem insurmountable. It's in these moments that we must remember Paul's experience. Jesus' assurance to Paul was not just about immediate deliverance but about fulfilling a greater mission. Similarly, our trials are not without purpose. God uses our struggles to shape us, strengthen our faith, and advance His kingdom. Just as Paul was destined to testify in Rome, we too have a unique purpose that God has ordained.

Consider this analogy: life's challenges are like a refining fire. Just as gold is purified through intense heat, our faith is refined through trials. We may not understand why we face certain difficulties, but we can trust that God is at work, perfecting us for His glory. Paul's unwavering faith and trust in God's plan are a testament to the transformative power of the gospel.

Friends, let's also reflect on the nature of conscience. Paul's bold declaration of living in good conscience before God is a profound lesson. Our conscience must be aligned with the truth of God's Word. A misinformed conscience can lead us astray, but when we renew our minds through scripture, we can stand firm in the face of opposition. As 1 John 3:20 reminds us, “For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things.” Our ultimate authority is not our feelings or conscience but the Word of God.

In Acts 24, we see Paul's trial before Felix, the governor of Caesarea. Despite the false accusations and flattery from Tertullus, Paul confidently defended his actions and proclaimed his faith in Christ. He spoke of righteousness, self-control, and the judgment to come, presenting the gospel in a way that addressed the past, present, and future. Felix, though intrigued, procrastinated and sought a bribe, illustrating the difference between enlightenment and true regeneration.

Paul's experiences remind us of the sufficiency of Christ and the simplicity of the gospel. Salvation is not about our works or merit but about faith in Jesus' finished work on the cross. We are justified, forgiven, and adopted into God's family, not by our efforts but by His grace. This truth is liberating and empowering, freeing us from the bondage of legalism and striving.

As we navigate our own journeys, we can draw strength from Paul's example. His life was marked by divine interventions and unwavering faith in God's purpose. No matter what trials we face, we can rest in the assurance that God's plan for us is good. He stands by us, just as He stood by Paul, guiding us through every challenge and using our lives for His glory.

Let's delve deeper into Paul's experience before Felix. In Acts 24:24-25, we read: “And after some days, when Felix came with his wife Drusilla, who was Jewish, he sent for Paul and heard him concerning the faith in Christ. Now as he reasoned about righteousness, self-control, and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and answered, 'Go away for now; when I have a convenient time I will call for you.'” Felix's response is a sobering reminder of how people often respond to the gospel. The message of Christ challenges us to examine our lives and confront our sins. Felix, though moved by Paul's words, chose to delay his decision, missing the opportunity for transformation.

This hesitation is something we can all relate to. How often do we feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit but postpone taking action? We might tell ourselves that we'll make changes when it's more convenient, but friends, the truth is that there is no better time than now to respond to God's call. Delaying our response can harden our hearts and distance us from the transformative power of the gospel.

Paul's story also teaches us about the power of persistence in our faith. Despite being imprisoned, falsely accused, and facing numerous trials, Paul remained steadfast in his mission. His unwavering commitment to sharing the gospel, regardless of the cost, is an inspiration for us all. In 2 Timothy 4:7, Paul writes, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” This declaration is a testament to his dedication and the strength he drew from Christ.

Friends, think about the trials you face in your own life. Whether they are personal struggles, opposition from others, or challenges in your faith journey, remember that you are not alone. Just as Jesus stood by Paul, He stands by you. He empowers you with His Spirit, equips you with His Word, and surrounds you with His love. Our trials, though difficult, are opportunities to draw closer to God and to witness His faithfulness in our lives.

Let's also consider the role of community in our faith journey. Paul's ministry was not a solo endeavour. He was supported by fellow believers who prayed for him, encouraged him, and sometimes physically aided him. In Acts 23:16, we read about Paul's nephew who discovered a plot to kill Paul and informed the Roman commander, thus saving Paul's life. This act of bravery highlights the importance of being vigilant and supportive within our faith community.

As we reflect on Paul's trials and triumphs, let us be reminded of the importance of prayer. Prayer was a cornerstone of Paul's life and ministry. In Ephesians 6:18, Paul exhorts believers to “pray always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints.” Prayer connects us to God, aligns our hearts with His will, and strengthens us for the journey ahead. In our moments of uncertainty and challenge, let us turn to God in prayer, trusting that He hears us and will guide us.

Lastly, let's embrace the message of hope that Paul's story offers. Despite the numerous trials, imprisonments, and adversities, Paul's life was a testament to the unshakable hope found in Christ. In Romans 8:18, Paul writes, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” This perspective is a powerful reminder that our present trials are temporary and pale in comparison to the eternal glory that awaits us.

Friends, as we journey through life, let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. Let us draw strength from Paul's example, stand firm in our faith, and trust in God's sovereign plan. No matter what challenges we face, we can be confident that God is with us, guiding us, and using our lives for His glory.

Be blessed today my brothers and sisters, knowing that God's purpose for your life is greater than any trial you face. Let Paul's story inspire you to trust in God's plan, renew your mind with His truth, and stand firm in your faith. Remember, nothing can separate us from the love of Christ, and His grace is sufficient for every need.

Phil

 
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from Roscoe's Quick Notes

Rook-Queen Checkmate 02

Though greatly distracted by the ongoing revelations regarding yesterday's assassination attempt on the life of President Trump, I was still able to close out two correspondence club tournament chess games this morning, winning both with Rook-Queen (and the edge of the chessboard) combination checkmates. The final boards of both games are shown, along with end game move records: one at the top of this blog post, and the other below.

Rook-Queen Checkmate 01

posted Sunday 14/Jul/2024 ~12:50 #QNJUL2024

 
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from (recur think)

Since the last blog post, lots of stuff has happened. I got sick during the following midweek and took some time to recover completely. When you’re sick and can’t do many things, you think the world should stop and all your affairs should stop, as your body is taking its time to heal. Sadly, that doesn’t happen, and all your work piles up. There’s the old things you had that paused, but there are new things too, which you couldn’t get to because you were sick.

This isn’t only for adults, but, back when you were in school, if you were sick and couldn’t go to school, yes, you wouldn’t have added homework to do. But, the chapters being taught, and other things would continue on, which you later would have to catch on to. The whole point is that the world moves on, with or without you.

So, after I caught up with most of the things I missed, I decided not to procrastinate much and contribute to some open-source projects, which I find interesting or were in my interests for some time. I contributed a simple patch to Thunar which is a file manager for Xfce.

If you are not familiar with XFCE or how it works, I will explain it in my next blog. I wanted to contribute to XFCE because it is purely C and GTK for core components, and it emphasizes being fast and lightweight. It works well on low-spec machines, which makes it an intriguing desktop environment to learn more about. I intend to provide further updates on this matter in my forthcoming blog and anticipate submitting additional merge requests, as I have identified certain issues that require resolution.

See you next week!

 
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from Telmina's notes

これまで、物価高が慢性化する中どうにか生活を維持出来ていた私も、ついに生活を切り詰める決断をしなければならなくなりました。

 今後私は、次の2点の悪影響を被ることとなり、月あたりの可処分所得が数万円減る見込みです。

  1. 今後確実に収入が減る。
  2. 本年11月以降家賃が2万円近くも値上げされてしまう。

 どちらか片方だけならばまだどうにかやりくりすることも可能ですが、残念ながら上記2つがほぼ同じタイミングで発生するので、今のままでは確実にひと月あたり数万円(単純計算で5万円前後)も可処分所得が減ってしまいます。

best quality,8k, realistic, masterpiece, RAW photo, low angle shot, a full body portrait of a tall Japanese voluptuous short-haired intelligent beautiful girl looking into her empty long wallet and feeling sad in her dark room at midnight, wearing red headband, black tight leather hotpants, red tanktops, white long boots.

This image is created by NMKD Stable Diffusion GUI.

 収入が減るのは(残念でありまた不本意ではあるものの)こちらも納得の上の結果なので、受け入れざるを得ません。

 しかし問題は家賃の方で、10年以上住み続けていてむしろ値下げしてくれて当然だと思うのですが逆に値上げで、しかもその値上げ幅が結構大きかったので、引越の検討をいよいよ始めなければならないかと思い始めています。

 今だって、家賃の割に部屋が狭すぎてそれ故にやりたいことのいくつかを断念している有様だというのに、その上値上げではコストに見合いません。いくらヨドバシカメラや秋葉原電気街に徒歩で行けるというアドバンテージを加味するとしても。

 そもそも、相場を理由にしていますが、不動産業界の「相場」なんてデタラメもいいところで、賃借人の立場が弱いのをいいことに理不尽な商慣行がまかり通っていることは多くの人が知るところでしょう。特にいわゆる家賃保証会社なんてものは賃借人にとってはメリットゼロなので、まずその辺から打破して欲しいです。あと威張った態度の「地元の不動産屋」とも出来れば関わりたくない。

 本当に引っ越すかどうかについては、来月に入ってから本格的に検討すると思いますが、個人的な願望としては、東京都世田谷区か杉並区、かつ東急田園都市線沿線以外を候補地としたいところです。少なくとも今住んでいるところよりも東側を選ぶことは絶対にあり得ません。

 そもそも、今の物価高なんて失政以外の何物でもないのですから、政治の力でどうにかすべき問題。しかし現政権にそれを期待することは不可能なので、政権交代が前提となりますが。

 とりあえず、私はかろうじて野党第一党を維持している立憲民主党の党員でもありますので、次の立憲民主党の代表選挙では結党当時の枝野幸男氏が代表だった頃の立憲民主党を取り戻すべく、投票活動をしたいと思っております。正直、東京都知事選挙の対応を見るまでもなく、現在の立憲民主党の執行部に対しては不信感しかありませんからね。

 繰り返し言いますが、今の物価高は失政以外のなのものでもありません。ついでに言うと長期化している円安も。与党の首をすげ替えてもすぐに改善する問題でないことは百も承知ですが、現政権では百年経っても改善し得ないこともまた火を見るよりも明らか。なので、(今でも手遅れかも知れませんけど)今のうちに種まきしておかないと、下手すると私の目の黒いうちに日本が滅亡してもおかしくありません。

 政治を他人事のように見ている庶民諸君、決して政治は他人事ではなく、物価高なんてもろに庶民に降りかかっている問題なのです。なので、最低限でも選挙では現体制やその延長線上にある候補者ではなく、現体制を打破しうる候補者を選びましょう。これは民主主義の一丁目一番地です。

#2024年 #2024年7月 #2024年7月15日 #ひとりごと #雑談 #円安 #物価高 #家賃 #収入 #仕事 #政治 #政権交代 #立憲民主党

 
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from StoryGator

If it ain't broke, have you ever fixed it

I met some friends for dinner and my friends brought friends of their own I haven't met before. A perfect situation for general introductions: Who are you, how did you meet, when did you meet, what do you do for a living, what are your hobbies...

And several times – explicitly and implicitly – I heard the term “broken CV” going around the table. Well. Break your C, it might break your V. But does it?

The word “broken” implies at the very least “something isn't in the state it is supposed to be”. A very subjective but clearly negative point of view. Some broken things can be fixed, some can be mended. Most leave scars of some sort. Then cover them up. don't go around parading with them, will you?

But here it becomes complicated: Scars – some of them – are considered like trophies. Proof of heroic obstacles, overcome and turned into achievement of growth. Well, well, aren't we desperately trying to romantize things again? People started something, regretted their decision, then changed course. Only for some new courses getting broken soon after. Studies never finished, a job quit again rather suddenly. And those are just the ones who actually tried to plan ahead. Others only tumble in the wind like leaves. But I guess everyone can be an “artist” these days.

My dear George, what caused this aggressive mood of your today? We try, we fail, we learn. Every child falls on their bum a lot of times until it can walk. Maybe the original reason for padded diapers.

You'd enjoy to only call an artist “artist” if you like their art. Only the result can justify a raison d'être for you! Fine then. Have it your way. Honour failures. Celebrate dead ends. Give medals for detours. But we sometimes do, don't we?

Many laugh about people traveling the world to “find themselves”. But it's often the same people envying the ones who actually “found themselves”. Survival bias at textbook level. Think outside the box, but never leave it.

I guess we got it all wrong. One size doesn't fit all. And when it comes to life, sometimes even “my own” size doesn't fit anymore. Or not quite yet. And. That. Is. ... Alright? At least it's normal. And if it fits, in this very point of space and time, that's normal, too.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

And if it ain't hurt, don't break it just because all the cool kids have. The danger of survival bias lies in risky decisions. And regret. Speaking of regret: Around the table, around the “broken CVs” there wasn't a lot of regret. People hoped, tried, reconsidered, and tried again. They know their scars. And some used them for a change of clothes.


Last post: “Shame on me if I fool me daily”

 
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from An Open Letter

I think emotionally powerful pieces always risk being pathetic or cringy for lack of a better word. I was writing things down for the outer wilds review idea that I had, and I ended up getting nostalgic to playing my first video game. To me I was able to capture that memory perfect with my own thoughts, but I fear after that feeling is distilled into words and finally a recording, all of that original feeling will have been lost to translation.

I guess that beautiful art comes from three things: vulnerability, understanding of the artists meaning, and some understandable feeling. The last thing can be met by something people have experienced, or you could go the riskier route of trying to show a novel experience. The second part is satisfied by adequate mastery and understanding of the medium, and the first part comes at virtue of not knowing the other two parts. I think I can get the vulnerability down, but the other two aspects I don’t know about. And so just like everything else I’m somewhat paralyzed by the fear of perfectionsim.

 
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from Paolo Amoroso's Journal

I'm writing this on my new desktop computer.

It's a Linux system I chose after deciding to migrate from ChromeOS back to Linux: a System76 Merkaat short case mini PC with a 5 GHz 13th gen Intel Core i7 processor, Intel Iris Xe graphics, 32 GB RAM, 500 GB SSD, 2.5 G Ethernet, and Wi-Fi 6. It replaces an ASUS Chromebox 3 I used since 2018.

I installed Linux Mint 21.3 Cinnamon Edition, configured the operating system, and downloaded the main programs I need. This is my experience after a week of usage.

In short, I absolutely love the Markaat and Mint which both exceed my expectations.

Hardware

The Merkaat case has a similar footprint and convenient port locations as the Chromebox but is noticeably smaller. This is the Merkaat connected via USB-C to a VOTNUT USB speaker.

System76 Merkaat mini PC with a USB speaker.

A 23” HP Pavillon 23cw LCD screen, a wireless TedGen keyboard, a wireless Logitech M220 mouse, and a Logitech c920 webcam round up the hardware setup on a desk next to the bookcase where the Merkaat is. A Brother HL-L2340DW wireless laser printer sits nearby.

System76 Merkaat Mini PC along with its screen, keyboard, and mouse.

At the highest spin rate the Merkaat fan is quieter than the Chromebox one at the lowest. Speaking of cooling, the case doesn't go much past slightly warm.

Software

In the first week with Mint I discovered many little Linux features and customization options I didn't know I wanted until I escaped the confines of ChromeOS. They make a difference in everyday work and reduce friction.

I use Cinnamon, the flagship desktop environment of Mint. I had no prior exposure to it but I like its pleasant design, features, and coherence. The environment strikes a good balance between ease of use and customizability. But aside from adding a few program icons to the panel as in the screenshot, so far I haven't customized Cinnamon much.

Screenshot of the Linux Mint desktop with the panel menu open.

It's still early to comment on the stability of Linux, especially with system updates and upgrades to major versions of the distro, and it's something I'll monitor. But Mint has been working smoothly over the first week.

Usage

The new system is fading into the background.

In everyday use it's getting easier to focus on the task at hand without thinking much to how to accomplish it on Linux. This is all I can ask of a system: supporting my work and getting out of the way.

I'm also unlearning almost a decade of ChromeOS muscle memory and workflows, and relearning the Linux way.

Setup and configuration

Installing Mint was uneventful, mostly.

I flashed the Mint USB boot stick on the Chromebox using the ChromeOS Recovery Utility. But when I booted the stick the Merkaat displayed a long series of scary looking errors, as the ISO was somehow corrupted or incorrectly encoded.

I had to start Pop!_OS preinstalled on the Merkaat and flash the stick again. Booting Mint from the reflashed stick finally led me through the few simple steps of the installation flow.

The installer allowed me to set different languages for the Linux user interface and locale. I want the Italian locale, as I live in Italy, but the English user interface, which comes more natural for tech stuff. Nice, I don't remember it being so easy when I last installed Linux a dozen years ago.

Configuring the system also involved installing the System76 Driver required for sound and other hardware support.

I worried Linux wouldn't fully detect my hardware or not work well with it. But you know who malfunctioned? Yours truly.

At first I didn't realize the pairing of my Mixcoder E9 Bluetooth headphones completed successfully and thought something was off. Also, no sound coming from the USB speaker had me puzzled until I figured the volume was turned all the way down. Doh.

Mint actually detects and fully supports all the hardware of the Merkaat and the connected peripherals including audio, Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, and the printer.

I turned on the printer and, while figuring how to run the Mint print manager, a notification informed the unit was added. This is pure magic.

Performance

The 13th gen Intel Core i7 processor of the Merkaat is five generations newer than the 8th gen of the Chromebox and, along with double the RAM, the upgrade can be felt. The machine is snappy and responsive. I no longer observe the subtle but perceivable lag associated with most actions on the Chromebox.

The system takes slightly longer to boot than the Chromebox but still under twenty seconds.

On average, with comparable workloads Linux consumes a few GB less RAM than ChromeOS. As I write this about 5 GB of RAM are in use and around 3 GB of cache, out of 32 GB.

Firefox is now my primary browser. For some tasks or actions Firefox seems slightly slower than than Chrome, but still perfectly useable and more than reactive.

Community

For researching, setting up, and configuring the new system I relied on three main sources of information and support: the Linux Mint Forums, Mastodon, and System76. From all the sources I received prompt, informative, and helpful answers to my questions and requests for assistance.

The community is a valuable feature of Mint and Linux and I hope to give back in some way.

Conclusion

Using the Merkaat for a week drove home how much I missed out over the past decade.

I'm really happy I finally found the motivation and momentum to leave ChromeOS for Linux. The Merkaat and Linux rewarded my decision with smooth sailing.

It feels good to be back home.

#Linux #ChromeOS

 
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from Rippple's Blog

Stay entertained thanks to our Weekly Tracker giving you next week's Anticipated Movies & Shows, Most Watched & Returning Favorites, and Shows Changes & Popular Trailers.

Anticipated Movies

Anticipated Shows

Returing Favorites

Most Watched Shows this Week

Most Watched Movies this Week


Hi, I'm Kevin 👋. I make apps and I love watching movies and TV shows. If you like what I'm doing, you can buy one of my apps, download and subscribe to Rippple for Trakt or just buy me a ko-fi ☕️.


 
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from talesunbinding

More Life, Things are Working Out.

Months on end, I felt like I had nothing to show as a purpose. Left my previous job and felt indifferent to others, addicted to comparisons. You see someone very close to me said, “The head that is alive today lives tomorrow.” I am learning my lesson.

I spent too long as the seed in soil, cried too often. Eventually, I sprouted out from the dark. Kind of self-sufficient despite the desolate.

Now I have new hobbies, new desires, and commitments. Just got a job today, nothing big but this felt good. But I got through the process even though I hated it.

This made me realise that life is for the living. I deserve to live and enjoy. Even when sometimes it just feels like I am surviving.

-talesunbinding.

 
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from ricardramon{.net}

Amanezco con la noticia de la muerte del artista Bill Viola, para mí uno de los más grandes artistas contemporáneos que han existido. Inspirador máximo, poeta visual indescriptible. Con una concepción profunda del arte y capaz de hacer que imágenes de vídeo de apariencia cotidiana nos llevaran a pensamientos profundamente complejos.

Algunas de sus obras, me produjeron un impacto enorme, como la indescriptible I Do Not Know What It Is I Am Like 1986. Una pieza que llegué a comprar en su versión en DVD original, y que he deleitado decenas de veces en soledad, observando cada detalle una y mil veces. Su autorretrato reflejado con su cámara en el ojo de la lechuza, es el mejor avatar de la historia del arte.

Bill conocía el verdadero sentido del arte y su manera de trabajar fue inspiración de algunos de mis propios trabajos. Siempre nos quedará su inmensa obra. Gracias.

#arte

 
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from No Post On Sunday!

Hey guys, my name is Frankie. I've always wanted to write but never had the balls to do so. My blog is primary for my own mental health. I'm fucking broken just as everyone else. Writing makes me happy, I just recently discover that. My blogs will be real and full of a lot of fucks. This is how my mind works. I'm not a professional writer, grammar was the fucking most boring shit growing up. Remember school rocks? I literaly just gave my age away haha. I hate writing, no seriously, I hate physical writing. I have a disability where my hand gets stiff when I write. I've always hated to write, my daughter has better writing skills than I do. You know how embarrassing is to have your arm stiff when you write? I hate it, always have and always will. When I was introduced to typing, I was blown away because my arms don't get stiff to type so it was like I was finally healed from this fucked up shit that brings me down. I want to have decent pen and paper writing skills but a 2 yr old writes better than me. Maybe I'm being a little melodramatic but you get the point. I'm a dad of 6, 3 with me and 3 out there in the world. If you read my previous post then you understand. I'm going to write whatever I want without apologizing to anyone. If you don't like it then you can fuck off and don't read anymore. I've spent all my life feeling like I didn't have a voice, like I was just passing through this life with no skill or purpose. Ive finally lately learned my worth as a person and I'm done feeling like I have to leave myself for last. I will write a lot of stuff about my everyday life, to analogies about life and faith. I said faith not religion. Fuck religion and all those fuckers who think they are above you. Not all people who are at church at good but most of them are. Anyways the post are for me primary to let it all out. if you think this guy is semi cool or a complete idiot please feel free to read up. I won't reply to any questions or concerns. I'll say this in the most nicest and sincere way. I don't give a fuck about your opinion nor concern. If you want to keep reading then do it but if you don't, then move on.

 
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from No Post On Sunday!

You know what broke me today ? That I had to teach my daughter a lesson for being so disrespectful lately. I went for a bike ride with J and not her. That’s our thing so she lost her shit. She was so heartbroken because she felt like I’d abandoned her but I had to teach her that she has to love me and respect me the way I do for her. I’m her dad but also her friend and I demand respect too. She also hurts my feelings. She’s my entire world, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my babygirl but I had to pull back. She literally went hysterical. I left with J and my heart sank because she wasn’t with me smiling. Just happy because nothing makes me smile more than to see my kids smile. Driving back literally cut me deep thinking of my baby girl was home heartbroken. I told my J lets go back and get E. This was after 15 mins. J was so excited and said yes. We rushed as fast we could get home and got away from the hideous heat. When I got there I told M I was going to take her, after seeing her sad face looking at me, broke me. I told her we came back for her but I had to talk to her. I sat her on the stairs and she first refused. She was hurt, I’ve left her, I’ve abandoned her just like her mom did, like her foster family and then the temporary foster mom. I broke a promise and the pain that was in her as M was literally pulling her away from me, was like she had put a bullet in my head. It killed me because, she’s my freaking partner, she’s my diva, my bipolar daughter, attitude of a 14 yrs old , the most loyal, most Timid but fucking brilliant. It pains me that I’ve only discovered how fucking brilliant and amazing she is just a few months back. Long story short we fostered 2 kids before E and that we lost to good parents so we are happy for that. They are where they belong but they will always be with us too. They will always be the void of our hearts. I was hurt so bad. I don’t trust nor love easy. If I love you I will always love you. When I’m hurt I break not in pieces but into dust. It’s almost impossible to put me back together. When E came to us I was mourning 2 others. I couldn’t fall in love again when my Heart was angry and confused. Like how did it happened. We did resented the system and bio parents for a while, because when hurt you blame the obvious and most logical explanation for you at the moment. I couldn’t really fall in love with her. I loved her but I wasn’t in love with her as a parent in the most purest type of love, because that’s how God or whoever your god is, sees us. I had to go through the valley of death to truly love my kids. Then we got my beautiful angel M a year Later. I saw her in an incubator just like when I was a new born too. She took everything and more. Holy shit did I fall in love with my baby. She gave me something I wanted. I wanted to experience what was to take your child home from a hospital. There’s something magical about it and I wanted in. You may want to talk shit and say oh well fucking Frankie is the mom. Fuck yeah I’m the mom, I’m the dad, I’m bro, bruh , I’m the I hate you ,the not fair, the you are stupid, I love you daddy , you are the best , you broke a promise, the protector, the teacher, the leader and holy shit, everything. I’m everything to her. Literally everything. holy fuck when you see it like this, Fuck fuck fuck. I can’t be everything for her, I’m a fucking piece of shit. I’m not even an ounce of everything, so how could my Beautiful talented E think I am everything for her?. Because she does, she trust me 100 percent. I have slowly started to earned her true love and respect. Her love and respect for me is literally comparing my love for God. They mean as much. They are just the same scale weight. They complete me entirely. It took me 3 yrs to really heal my heart. Only God, M and my best friends J and D knows. My love for God and my 3 kids was how I was able to pulled through. Nothing else. Maybe mom ❤️. She’s fucking everything. No bro like she’s fucking fucking fucking amazing. I’m nothing but honored to be her son. It’s a true privilege to be loved by that woman. I came out of a fucking spell. No joke , don’t Believe me? Ask M. When I was able to truly look up at God and look at his directly just as I was. A total piece of shit then mercy and clearly was given I was able to cut that bandage off my eyes. I saw I’ve forgotten of 3 angels given to me. Just for me. 3 beings that they think I’m like the coolest person ever. Like fuck, I don’t even think I’m cool. I’m an idiot. When I truly was able to see my kids with clarity and without depression, anger, resentment, pain but with them just being them. They don’t even have to try to be cute because fuck fuck they are heroin to my veins. They are seriously the only reason I keep going. Those little fuckers have some fucking voodo on me and I’m here for it. I just can’t ever live without my kids. It’s just plain and simple. No theory or analogy behind it. I just can’t live without them. It just fucking makes sense in my brain. It makes my dopamine rush with love , commitment, understanding. such fucking cute fucked shit you see with tiny humans . I’ve asked myself why do we love kids so fucking much?. Like why? They are hard work , assholes, ungrateful, mean, expensive, and the list fucking goes on and on. But I’ve asked why are we so fucking fascinated with tiny psychopaths? Like why? because they fucking psychopaths plain and simple with love here and there. It’s amazing to see a tiny humans lose their shit just like adults do but the difference is that little kids don’t give a flying fuck about what others think or do. They will fucking lose their shit in front of Obama. It don’t fucking matter if you are at the coronation of the queen or literally you are about to die. They will lose their entire shit on you. They are also fearless and have fucking the most brilliant imagination. They are always ready for fun and happiness. They are sincere and brutal at the same time. They will love you like no one else but resent you like nothing else. You will break them and scar them like nothing else but if you ask God for wisdom He might just guide you how to deal with little chuckies like mine and fall truly and unconditionally in love with them. I sat with E one of those nights I had a bit too much wine and we had a heart to heart. That moment listening to her and how she’s literally pulling receipts on me. I don’t even know how we got here. She’s that brilliant that she probably taught “this wino is feeling good, let me see if he breaks”. Her freaking amazing mind got us in the conversation about me apologizing to her for neglecting her. Not physically or financially but emotionally. I was so blinded by hatred and pain that I just couldn’t see her. She’s a freaking handful. I’ve had a teenager since I met her. Her attitude is flat out “I dont give a flying fuck what you think”. She scares me because she’s so determined, loyal, stubborn and emotional as fuck with the attitude of a dictatorship. She will fucking demand what’s right for her. If she’s not a lawyer or politician I’m gonna be pissed. I want others to experience her wrath too lol . She’s fucking beautiful crazy and brilliant at the same time. That night I truly saw her. Ive always been afraid she would be wild and out of control, but what I found that night was something I’ve never seen before. Something that gave my life, color. Only those who’ve seen my tattoo will get it. In that moment I felt shame, a total fucking complete piece of shit. I was nothing but a fucking dirt bag who deserved to eat a billion bags of vaginas. Get it? If you don’t then you aren’t my friend. ❤️. I’ve realized how much I had neglected my daughter emotionally. I feel like I lost an entire lifetime of hers even though it was 5 yrs. All I saw was mean , destructive , disrespectful in her and how she would turn out as a teen. I only saw the bad things in her because I was so angry with losing J , B and M. I just couldn’t see her. My eyes had been turned into dust. I had no sight for anything and anyone. I was hollow. When finally I saw her I was fucking blown away. Like who is this child? Did they placed a different kid that wasn’t my E. There she was, her always all along. She’s always being brilliant , freaking smart, loyal and competitive. Fuck, I envy her, she’s everything I wish I was when I was a little kid. Seeing her and telling me and fucking pulling receipts on me on exactly how many times I’ve broken a promise. She had dates and times bro, like she fucking can hold a grudge and it fucking scares me because all I want is to make her proud. Hurting her is like cutting a limb off me, might as well just let God consume me. I was finally able to truly fall in love with her. She’s my daughter, she’s my chaos , my frustration, my friend , my bro and bruh. She’s mine and I’m just so fucking happy for it. I’m so honored you picked me E W P. We sat down after all the bike drama and I told her “do you understand why I did what I did “ and she just replied with an attitude “you left me” “biking is our thing” I looked at her beautiful eyes with a smile and told her “you know I’ll never leave you” “I had to teach you a lesson, you have been so mean and disrespectful and not listening to everyone including me “ I said “I don’t treat you like that , yeah I lose my shit on you sometimes but is because you pull all my buttons at once , but I try to respect you. I told her that it broke me not to take her. I told her that I love her and that I want her to be more respectful. We hugged and went for a fucking bike ride. I will do anything for my kids. They are me, so I just can’t live without them. I love my 6 babies. B J E M J A.

 
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